View Full Version : Umm HELLO????

12-14-2013, 07:08 AM
I'm putting this in Sightings because it didn't happen to me, I was told about by co-workers.

This female (can't call her a lady) started her shopping adventure at my store this morning by pulling her car perpendicular to the other cars parked there. She was not only not in a parking space, but blocked 4 other cars from being able to leave. This got the attention of Manager 1, who went out and took a picture of her license plate.

She proceeded into the store, with a return. Return was processed, no problem. And here, the adventure begins!

She grabbed a basket and went "shopping". This means that as she was strolling the aisles, she would grab a product or two, open the package, and stuff the product into her shirt, her purse, whatever. Manager 1 was watching her, both because of the lousy parking job, but also she appeared to be high on something.

Manager 2 was called and confronted her about the stealing. She, of course, denied it and started heading for the door. M2 grabbed her basket and dialed the police. So at this point, we have a female trying to leave with products, M2 on the phone with police and trying to block her from leaving. On the tape, it shows female and M2 struggling, then she shoved him - right into the Toys for Tots donation box. M2 doesn't let go of the basket, but female makes it out of the store.

Okay, not so noteworthy, you say?? Just an average shoplifter?? I beg to differ. This female was so brazen (or hyped up on something) she didn't realize .....

First we have her license plate. Unless it's a stolen car, we know who you are.
Second, in order to make a return, you have to give your name, address and phone number. Which she eagerly provided, in order to get the cash back on her return. Yes, she could have been lying about who she was, BUT ..............

How dumb do you have to be to make the decision to shoplift AFTER you have provided the store with your name and address????

Fortunately, the police looked at the tape and issued a warrant for her arrest. I expect to see her name on the police blotter in the newspaper next week!

12-14-2013, 02:06 PM
Her brother was apparently in New Hampshire this week.


12-14-2013, 04:46 PM
And it looks like we've reached a new level of fail!!!:lol:

12-14-2013, 10:23 PM
We had a customer come in to fix a problem on his landline, and once that was done walked out with merchandise he hadn't paid for. We gave the cops his name number and address.

12-15-2013, 08:09 PM
How dumb?

Try these:

A bank robber who was still wearing his ID badge from work.

A bank robber who wrote the "give me all your cash" note on a deposit slip. Not one from the bank lobby. One from his checkbook. Which had his name and account number on it.

The guy who thought smearing lemon uice on his face would keep the cameras from being able to photograph him.

And the winner?

This guy goes into a bank branch in an office building. Waits in line (lots of folks there that day). Gets to the window and does the "This is a robbery!"

Immediately followed by a chorus of "FBI! You're under arrest!".

Not only had this genius decided to rob a bank branch in the same building as an FBI office, but he did it during lunch hour on *payday* (this was before direct deposit was common).

He was the *only* person in the branch who wasn't either a bank employee or an FBI agent.

12-17-2013, 03:32 PM
Reminds me of the man who heard if you put a clear plastic bag over your head you wouldn't show up on the security cameras. Only, he forgot to cut air holes. Video shows him going in, holding the place up briefly, then passing out because he was too stupid to take it off his head. Oh yea, and the bag made him even more visible to the camera, go figure.

12-17-2013, 07:51 PM
How dumb? Hold up a donut and coffee shop. One that's connected to the local police precinct.

Now do it at around shift change (7AM or so).

Yeah, how'd that go for you, sister? Yep. About as well as I expected. Enjoy your stay in the Grey Bar Hotel.

12-17-2013, 09:09 PM
It seems like around this time of year, some stupid criminal gets stuck trying to break in someplace by thinking that what works for Santa would work for them.