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Antisocial_Worker
12-21-2013, 01:08 AM
The Sturdy Nurse and I are currently touring Washington, DC. Already I have two sightings. More will be added as events warrant.

Day 1...

1. After an abundant and filling, but tasteless, lunch in Chinatown, we were heading back to the museums. En route, we passed a stage set up on the sidewalk, from which several Black men were haranguing passersby about the importance of rising up against the white devil.

Which meant me. One leveled a finger at me and went into hyperdrive, screaming about the white devil. I thought that was just plain nice of him, though. It's been years since anyone called me that.

2. After a busy day of sightseeing (the International Spy Museum, National Building Museum, and the National Crime and Punishment Museum, plus Chinatown), we were heading back to our hotel on the subway. Everyone got on and the train was just about to head off when someone on the platform threw a full cup of coffee through the doors to splash all over the floor. Why? God knows.

I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

mikoyan29
12-21-2013, 04:50 AM
I was in DC a couple of years ago on Memorial Day weekend. I decided to go Arlington and I got a nice picture of me giving the bird to the caged off Westboro folks.

csquared
12-21-2013, 11:09 AM
Did you turn to Sturdy Nurse and give him a big kiss? That should have freaked them out.

DGoddessChardonnay
12-21-2013, 06:24 PM
Goes to show the suck is everywhere, don't it? :no:

That International Spy Museum sounds awesome. Did they happen to have an exhibit dedicated to the U.N.C.L.E.? :p

Sunshine
12-21-2013, 08:48 PM
Now the james bond theme is running thru my head. Mmmm sean connery....* wanders off to watch never say never again*

Antisocial_Worker
12-22-2013, 02:13 AM
Day 2!

1. It was the day of the screaming disturbed persons. We saw the first one at the National Museum of American History. A woman who looked homeless was wandering around the transportation exhibit yelling at the top of her lungs, "YOU SEEN MY BITCHES?! AIN'T NOBODY SEEN MY BITCHES?! YOU AIN'T SEEN MY BITCHES HAVE YOU? YOU SEEN MY BITCHES? WHERE MY BITCHES? YOU AIN'T SEEN MY BITCHES?" Later, we were followed down K Street by another screaming disturbed person, this one a man. It was something religious, but we couldn't make anything more out than that.

2. I have been taught from an early age that "up North," (and Washington is both the southernmost Northern city and the northernmost Southern city) that unless you move at a dead sprint wherever you go, you will back up traffic on the sidewalk and piss everyone right the hell off. And God help you if you actually try to take in details, or dare to stop and look up. That surely marks you as a rube who fell off the asparagus truck less than an hour before. However, it turns out that Washington is a great moseying city. People mosey wherever they go, and they're fond of stopping dead in their tracks in the middle of crowds.

However...

However, this relaxed attitude to pedestrianism does not extend to the crosswalks. Washington walkers may be an affable species, but Washington drivers most certainly are not. They're very fond of honking at pedestrians in the crosswalks. We saw one driver barrel through a crosswalk and nearly hit a man and his family. The man slapped the hood of the van and yelled, "Hey! I'm walkin' here! You slow down, buddy!" Later, a taxi nearly mowed us down in a crosswalk and laid on her horn. The Sturdy Nurse flipped her off.

Just another day in the big city.

That International Spy Museum sounds awesome. Did they happen to have an exhibit dedicated to the U.N.C.L.E.? :p

It was okay, but I honestly enjoyed the crime and punishment museum more. The spy museum didn't have any exhibits about U.N.C.L.E., but there is an exhibit there now about Bond villains.

By the way, what you'll take away from the spy museum is the sheer ingenuity and drive of humanity to place cameras and recorders in things not usually suited to the task. Also, the various ways of hiding pop-out blades in the heels of women's shoes.

Jay 2K Winger
12-22-2013, 04:36 AM
However, this relaxed attitude to pedestrianism does not extend to the crosswalks. Washington walkers may be an affable species, but Washington drivers most certainly are not. They're very fond of honking at pedestrians in the crosswalks. We saw one driver barrel through a crosswalk and nearly hit a man and his family. The man slapped the hood of the van and yelled, "Hey! I'm walkin' here! You slow down, buddy!" Later, a taxi nearly mowed us down in a crosswalk and laid on her horn. The Sturdy Nurse flipped her off.

Yes. Washington and the Metropolitan Area is full of impatient and fast drivers.

I don't get angry at most pedestrians, but I do get angry at other drivers. As I like to put it, "Drive faster! This is Washington! WE EAT THE WEAK!"

Antisocial_Worker
12-23-2013, 01:09 AM
Day 3...

Surprisingly, not much of note happened today, although at supper we were treated to a loud political discussion at another table. We've also noticed an epidemic of parents wheeling children who are clearly old enough to walk around in strollers. Peculiar.

Sapphire Silk
12-23-2013, 03:04 AM
Anyone who can drive into the District and back out again with their lives and their cars intact, deserves to have a driver's license.

I grew up in the DC area. I never drive downtown if I can help it. I take the Metro. Safer.

Jay 2K Winger
12-23-2013, 05:02 AM
Anyone who can drive into the District and back out again with their lives and their cars intact, deserves to have a driver's license.

I grew up in the DC area. I never drive downtown if I can help it. I take the Metro. Safer.

Same here. I've only ever gone into the city via Metro.

You want a nonsensical city design? Arlington. I hate driving there.

vikingchyk
12-23-2013, 05:52 PM
I grew up in the DC area. I never drive downtown if I can help it. I take the Metro. Safer.

I've lived in Maryland for 27 years now, and I can count the number of times I've driven in DC on one hand - and one of those was accidental: after I first moved here, and took the wrong turn out of a Metro station after a day in DC - the next thing I knew, I saw the Capitol dead ahead of me. Ummm, that's wrong...

One of the other times I was trying to get home from Reston, and the bletway was so totally fouled up, I took 66 into the city and winged it. Hi Abe, how do I get the hell out of here?? Go ask Tom? OK...

Jay 2K Winger
12-23-2013, 06:01 PM
I've lived in Maryland for 27 years now, and I can count the number of times I've driven in DC on one hand - and one of those was accidental: after I first moved here, and took the wrong turn out of a Metro station after a day in DC - the next thing I knew, I saw the Capitol dead ahead of me. Ummm, that's wrong...

Yuuup that happened to me once. I was going through Arlington, trying to get to a friend's house. I miss my turn and before I know it, "...why am I at the Pentagon?"

vikingchyk
12-23-2013, 06:05 PM
Yuuup that happened to me once. I was going through Arlington, trying to get to a friend's house. I miss my turn and before I know it, "...why am I at the Pentagon?"

It's so nice of them to have such distinct landmarks to point out when you're lost, unlike just being in a sea of tall buildings, like in Chicago or NYC ;)

Jay 2K Winger
12-23-2013, 06:14 PM
It's so nice of them to have such distinct landmarks to point out when you're lost, unlike just being in a sea of tall buildings, like in Chicago or NYC ;)

The advantage of DC is that none of the buildings are too tall. None of them tend to be taller than the Washington Monument or the United States Capitol. This means that tall structures like those can serve as the landmarks they are.

Antisocial_Worker
12-24-2013, 05:52 AM
Finally home! But not before one more exciting day of fun and games.

On the train back to Huntington station, which was designed by sadists, two men were having an urgent conversation so loud and foul-mouthed that eventually I started keeping track of the most commonly used swear words:

1. Motherfucker -- 74 times
2. Fuck/Fucking/Fucker -- 58 times
3. "Nigga" (both men were black) -- 30 times
4. Shit/Shitting -- 12 times

wolfie
12-29-2013, 01:18 PM
Anyone who can drive into the District and back out again with their lives and their cars intact, deserves to have a driver's license.

I've driven into the District twice (furniture deliveries), and both times I got out with my life and truck intact. Of course, even inside the "sanity exclusion barrier" (a.k.a. I495), SOME people realize that the Peterbilt of Natural Selection is a case of "if we tangle, I'll be able to walk away from it".

DGoddessChardonnay
12-29-2013, 01:46 PM
On the train back to Huntington station, which was designed by sadists, two men were having an urgent conversation so loud and foul-mouthed that eventually I started keeping track of the most commonly used swear words:

1. Motherfucker -- 74 times
2. Fuck/Fucking/Fucker -- 58 times
3. "Nigga" (both men were black) -- 30 times
4. Shit/Shitting -- 12 times

Sounds like a typical afternoon or evening in my neighborhood. They're even louder when they're on a cell phone and trying to hold their pants up with the other.:rolleyes::lol:

EricKei
12-29-2013, 03:22 PM
We've also noticed an epidemic of parents wheeling children who are clearly old enough to walk around in strollers. Peculiar.
Well -- it could just be that they realize that their little ones would not be able to keep up with the local foot traffic...or just that they wanted to make sure they didn't wander off.