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View Full Version : Stop jamming my internet! (epic length)


TheSHAD0W
12-25-2013, 12:02 AM
Edited transcript from an IRC channel I frequent...

<Suzuran> Well, looks like the cops are coming over for a visit
<Lulolwen> Suzuran: O_O
<Lulolwen> Everything cool?
<Suzuran> Yeah, it's funny really
<Suzuran> The neighbor behind me diagonally is throwing a fit about my radio antenna and says I need to take it down because it's "jamming his internet"
<Vashmata> lol
<Suzuran> I told him that's not possible, I have a license for it, and his stuff all says it must accept interference anyway.
<Suzuran> He told me he's calling the cops
<Suzuran> I asked him what he means by jamming
<Suzuran> He says his internet is jammed and needs a password
<Vashmata> :|
<Suzuran> Turns out he's stealing wifi from next door and they got wise to it and put a password on it.
<Lulolwen> HAH!
<Vashmata> lol
<Suzuran> He thinks I'm jamming it because he noticed the antenna (which has been up for about two months now)
<yume_no_hikari> so basically the cops are going to have a laugh.
<Suzuran> That or arrest him for threatening to come over and cut my antenna down
<DarkoNeko> well, they could arrest him also for "pirating" the neighbour's wifi
<DarkoNeko> he's a mad haxxorer
<pirokoro> Suzuran: thats a hoot. how dare you block his internets
<DarkoNeko> I hope you pointed that if anything, in case of jamming it wouldn't ask for a password but not connect at all ^^;
<Suzuran> It's amazing how many people don't read or don't care about that Part 15 waiver
<DarkoNeko> for starter he could read the wikipedia article about jamming
<Suzuran> I have a license, I can radiate anything I wish within the terms of my license, and you can pound sand.
<Suzuran> The fact that you have a shitty chinese device does not entitle you to spectral assets
<DarkoNeko> Suzuran, it still has nothing to do with the neibhgour's wifi asking a password
<Suzuran> Yeah
* DarkoNeko will stay with the basics
<yume_no_hikari> iirc it's legal in most jurisdictions to use open wifi, even if it's not yours.
<Suzuran> That's up in ISM anyway, I'd love to know how to jam ISM from HF (outside of front-end overload, which ain't happening at 100 watts)
<pirokoro> he's using Makes Sense to Me logic
<Lulolwen> Suzuran: You should get a 2.4GHz wireless phone handset and just leave it outside your neighbor's house
<pirokoro> internets stop working
<pirokoro> sees antenna outside on your proerty thats somewhat new
<Lulolwen> (and hope he doesn't have 5GHz wireless)
<pirokoro> that must be the problem
<Suzuran> Lulolwen: Naah, if I really wanted to jam him, I have a spare microwave magnetron. I'd just radiate a random CW signal toward his house at low power, it would wipe out everything within a few hundred MHz of 2.5 GHz
<DarkoNeko> *evil*
<Suzuran> Not evil at all
<Suzuran> Evil would be running it at rated power
<yume_no_hikari> Suzuran: and the horrible part is, it's *still* legal, isn't it?
<DarkoNeko> uuh :)
<Suzuran> yume_no_hikari: Absolutely not.
<Lulolwen> Heh.
<yume_no_hikari> oh. fuck.
<Suzuran> yume_no_hikari: Intentional jamming is never legal, transmitting without ID is never legal.
<DarkoNeko> Suzuran, below a certian distance it is, for the id thing
<Suzuran> yume_no_hikari: That said, I do have a primary allocation between 2.3-2.4 GHz, so I could put a beacon there and it would have the same effect
<DarkoNeko> granted it's a fairly short distnace
<Suzuran> DarkoNeko: No, it's below a certain power, certain antenna size, and in certain frequency ranges
<Suzuran> Hang on, door
<pirokoro> thats the dumb thing. you rawr over your neighbor about stuff you dont know... but whats worse is that your neigbor probably knows enough about it to actually do worse if he chose to
<DarkoNeko> oh, so there IS a limitation for the ferequencies too. At least in USA, anyway
* yume_no_hikari waits for the story -- this ought to be good.
<Lulolwen> "Hang on, door"
<Lulolwen> Welp
<DarkoNeko> it's fairly possible the cops already laughed at his face when he explained the issue to them, and you then wouldn't have a visit
...
<Suzuran> OK, now the cops are getting called. He sent his girlfriend over to "take a picture" of my license with her cellphone. I guess they thought I was lying about having one. So I showed her my wallet card license (there's a wallet card version of the license, the real license is a large postcard sized thing) she tried to grab it and run away. When I grabbed her arm and took it back, she tried to
<Suzuran> hit me with her purse.
<Lulolwen> *What the fuck*
<yume_no_hikari> harassment, assault, attempted theft...
<Vashmata> you're surprised?
<Suzuran> No, not really
<Vashmata> I was askig lulo
<Lulolwen> I am...
<Vashmata> Ii've heard your stories, suzu
<pirokoro> you have effed up neighbors
<Lulolwen> Yeah, best kind of neighbors are the ones you never meet
* Lulolwen both has and is that kind of neighbor
<Vashmata> hahaha
<Vashmata> I bet
...
<TheSHAD0W> Suzuran: Stupid suggestion, before your idiot neighbors cause even more trouble... Unhook the coax from your antenna, point it out to them and ask if their internet is unjammed.
<TheSHAD0W> They'll still be idiots, but at least they won't be trying to take down your antenna.
<Suzuran> Door again, and it's too fast to be the cops.
<Suzuran> BRB.
<DarkMorford> Ooh, sounds like a good story. What'd I miss?
<pirokoro> well, lets hope suzuran makes it back ^^;;
<Vashmata> seriously
* pirokoro nods
<Vashmata> I wouldn't be surprised if they hadn't called the cops at all
<DarkoNeko> oh, they probably did but got laught at
<Vashmata> around this point I'd be calling the cops on /them/
<Suzuran> Well now
<TheSHAD0W> Uh oh.
<Suzuran> That was the girlfriend again, she apologised and begged me to please not call the cops. (Too late, they already been called). I told her they already have been called and to get off the property.
<Vashmata> ha
<TheSHAD0W> How much would you like to bet one of the two has warrants?
<theshaggyfreak> having shitty neighbors sucks
<Suzuran> Oh, I didn't think of that!
<Vashmata> I'm so glad I live where I do
<Suzuran> And she RAN off too, I mean RAN.
<Suzuran> They don't have a car, they always use a taxi.
<Suzuran> Oh man, if she or he has a warrant, they're fucked.
<Suzuran> I am gonna laugh so hard
<DarkMorford> Suzuran: Sounds like a good story. What'd I miss?
<Suzuran> OH YES
<Suzuran> THE COPS ARE HERE AND IT'S SOMEONE I ACTUALLY KNOW
<Suzuran> BRB
<Lulolwen> Oh this is going to be hilarious.
<DarkoNeko> <TheSHAD0W> How much would you like to bet one of the two has warrants? < hah ! :D
<TheSHAD0W> At least one of the two.
<yume_no_hikari> $10 says both.
<DarkoNeko> TheSHAD0W, I'd bet it's the male
...
<Suzuran> Sorry that took so long
<paarfi> all is good?
<Suzuran> TheSHAD0W: You called it, dude had a warrant for failure to appear. The girlfriend tried assaulting the cops when they were arresting him so she gets to go to jail too. I spent most of the time bullshitting with the cop, who I went to high school with and was a friend of mine I hadn't seen in many years (I didn't know he was a cop, he didn't know I was back in town)
<DarkMorford> HAHAHAHAHA
<paarfi> well, interesting
<pirokoro> oh boy
<pirokoro> hah
<Suzuran> So the whole radio thing turned out to be a non-issue
<yume_no_hikari> mmm, the lulz.
<theshaggyfreak> at least it sounds like a happy ending
<Suzuran> They're both going to jail and I don't want to bother with the paperwork so fuck it
<pirokoro> girlfriend sounds like a winner
<DarkMorford> Well, happy for Suzu. :P
<pirokoro> she attacked you, attacked the cops
<theshaggyfreak> yeah, don't help someone resist arrest
<pirokoro> wow
<theshaggyfreak> so smart
<yume_no_hikari> such dumb, many lulz.
<DarkMorford> wow
<Suzuran> I don't know where he planned to run to
<Suzuran> They don't have a car
<theshaggyfreak> run like the wind?
<Suzuran> They take taxis everywhere
<paarfi> that must get expensive
<DarkoNeko> was thinking that too
<Suzuran> I gather the state pays for it
<theshaggyfreak> taking a taxi around here is extremely expensive
<Vashmata> lol what a story
<DarkoNeko> I just hope that story won't end up with the asshole attempting revenge later.
<Suzuran> Naah
<Suzuran> If he gives me any shit, I have my friend's business card now, I can call him right over
<Suzuran> I guess he's been a cop here for two years now
<Suzuran> "I get to arrest all the assholes who picked on me in school, it's awesome"
<DarkoNeko> heh
<Lulolwen> That's a pretty choice quote.
<Suzuran> Very not serious of course
<DarkoNeko> for the revenge, i was more thinking of him doing desesperate stupid stuff liek trying to set your house on fire, or fire a gun;
<Suzuran> Well, if he does, shit happens
<DarkoNeko> ._.
<Suzuran> Oh yeah, so drugs
<Suzuran> The failure to appear thing?
<Suzuran> This idiot called the cops after his drug dealer robbed him
<Suzuran> He called the cops because his drug dealer sold him $20 worth of drugs for $50
<Suzuran> So of course the cops just arrested everyone involved for drugs
<Suzuran> And he skipped out
<Suzuran> So yeah, he's not very smart.

Sunshine
12-25-2013, 12:36 AM
O.o hahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

MoonCat
12-25-2013, 04:47 AM
That is epic. Sounds like some of the better stuff I've seen on COPS.

DeltaSierra
12-25-2013, 05:05 AM
That's one of the best in a while!!! Truly!!!

Mr Hero
12-25-2013, 06:07 AM
Beautiful twist ending!

sms001
12-25-2013, 12:38 PM
Literally lol here.

Perfect finale: "<Suzuran> So yeah, he's not very smart."

Dreamstalker
12-25-2013, 02:02 PM
:roll: That was awesome.

pzychobitch
12-25-2013, 02:38 PM
I laughed so hard, I'm still crying.

XCashier
12-25-2013, 04:18 PM
Nothing like living next to World's Dumbest Criminals. I hope and pray those two stellar examples never had --or have -- children. I also hope Suzuran stays safe and the two idiots don't try to hurt her(?) or her property.

Sandiercy
12-25-2013, 05:32 PM
Thank you so much for giving me a great laugh.

DGoddessChardonnay
12-25-2013, 06:25 PM
Hlarious!!

And definitely not so very smart at all . . . both Dumbfuck and GF both sound like real prize winners.:rolleyes::lol:

Jay 2K Winger
12-25-2013, 06:27 PM
Truly a tale for the ages.

Eevie
12-26-2013, 12:24 AM
That. Is. Awesome. Thanks for sharing!

Crossbow
12-26-2013, 02:06 PM
Beautiful! It's just SO delicious when karma bites someone in the ass.

Geek King
12-26-2013, 04:25 PM
Wow. That's a remarkable amount of fail for one story. :lol:

Argabarga
12-26-2013, 04:59 PM
Just furthers my personal belief that prison isn't for criminals

It's for DUMB criminals

Shalom
12-30-2013, 03:16 PM
Oh. My. $DEITY.

That story just kept on getting better and better as it went along.

You might submit that to bash.org when you get a chance...

Ellf
12-30-2013, 05:12 PM
That's pretty awesome. Cheered me up a bit.

Silent-Hunter
01-01-2014, 10:35 PM
Oh holy crap! Yeah, this may be one of the funniest things I have read on the internet, ever!

But in all seriousness, I do hope those people don't become violent if they get out of jail.

You should submit this to the Computer Stupidities section of Rinkworks.com! http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

ADoyle90815
01-01-2014, 10:39 PM
Thanks for the great laugh. That has to be one of the funniest dumb criminal stories I've heard.:rotflmao:

RootedPhoenix
01-04-2014, 04:51 AM
I....*Japanese that basically is "wha-- wh- what?* *brain crawls away*

Those two are certainly something. Aieee.

Mr Hero
01-04-2014, 07:40 PM
The internet, sir, it appears to be jammed!

Raspberry!

KatherineB
01-04-2014, 11:24 PM
The internet, sir, it appears to be jammed!

Raspberry!

There is only one man who would DARE give me the raspberry!

protege
01-05-2014, 05:56 AM
Loooooooone Staaaaaaar!

But seriously, I had one of my neighbors force his way into my network not long after I moved in. I'd *just* set things up, and was in the middle of changing my wireless security settings, when his computer suddenly showed up. He's lucky I'm a nice guy, otherwise I would have flooded his hard drive with the nastiest porn I could find :angel:

Argus
01-05-2014, 05:53 PM
But seriously, I had one of my neighbors force his way into my network not long after I moved in. I'd *just* set things up, and was in the middle of changing my wireless security settings, when his computer suddenly showed up.

Did he actually "force" his way in? I can't remember whether I've ever posted this here, but one car dealer used to have its free waiting room wi-fi set with a name of Linksys and no password. My laptop remembered that network, and once automatically connected to my Mom's neighbor, who had the same configuration. Is there any chance that his computer mistook your partially-configured wireless for one that had been deliberately left that way?

protege
01-05-2014, 10:18 PM
He was seeing whose network he could get into. He got caught accessing the house next door's network. They weren't nearly as nice as I was...

the lawsmeister
01-06-2014, 12:31 AM
He was seeing whose network he could get into. He got caught accessing the house next door's network. They weren't nearly as nice as I was...

Now that sounds like a story that needs to be told

Gizmo
01-11-2014, 09:34 PM
My laptop remembered that network, and once automatically connected to my Mom's neighbor, who had the same configuration. Is there any chance that his computer mistook your partially-configured wireless for one that had been deliberately left that way?

I think I had this the other day. Was out and about and kept getting a warning that my phone couldn't log in to my wireless network properly... since I was like 20 miles away I was confused until I wondered if it was picking up a local network that 'seemed' to be the same as mine.

protege
01-11-2014, 11:23 PM
Now that sounds like a story that needs to be told

Not much really happened. Cops were called, the idiot across the street got fined, and that was it.

Catwoman2965
01-13-2014, 02:42 PM
I had something happen to me the other day; I tried to use my tablet, which I haven't used for a while, and told me I had to log on. Ok, whatever, so I hit ok, and it tried to log me onto someone unsecured network, which I suspect may belong to my new neighbors. I have my own, secured network, so I just chose that, but I've never seen that happen before, esp since I'd never told it to "forget" mine. Which reminds me; next time I see them I'm going to ask if they have "cable company wi fi" and if so, let them know they mnight want to secure it.

On that same vein, while mine is secured, how can you tell if someone is sneaking into yours? just curious, but is there someway to tell?

SimonF12009
01-13-2014, 03:27 PM
If your internet is going slow, you can log onto your router and look at what devices are logged on to it

Chromatix
01-13-2014, 04:24 PM
On many routers (or, more precisely, access points), you can look at the list of associated nodes by MAC address. The MAC address is supposed to be unique to the hardware.

So what you do is write down all of the MAC addresses of wireless devices that you own, and compare it to that list. If there's a node which *isn't* in your list, it evidently belongs to someone else.

Related to this, on many access points you can restrict access to your known list of MAC addresses. This should be used together with encryption as normal. Disadvantage: if someone comes to visit, you'll need to add their MAC address to the list before they can use it.

Difdi
01-17-2014, 03:32 PM
<Suzuran> This idiot called the cops after his drug dealer robbed him
<Suzuran> He called the cops because his drug dealer sold him $20 worth of drugs for $50
<Suzuran> So of course the cops just arrested everyone involved for drugs
<Suzuran> And he skipped out
<Suzuran> So yeah, he's not very smart.

There's a form of fatalism (most commonly associated with Islam) that basically says that anything God doesn't want to happen won't -- and if God wants it to happen, it will happen no matter what.

I've run into it on the secular side a few times -- if it's physically possible to do something then it can't be illegal because if it were illegal you wouldn't be able to do it. Sounds like your neighbor has thought processes along those lines... :roll:

justhere
01-19-2014, 06:20 PM
If your internet is going slow, you can log onto your router and look at what devices are logged on to it

So, yeah - excuse my ignorance but how exactly do you do that? I know my router is secure, but I'd love to be able to double check.

Aethian
01-19-2014, 06:41 PM
Some routers, like mine, have a program you can download to look at who/what is connecting to your signal. Mine also lets me tell the router what is connected so that it can handle traffic better. Like my PS3 gets more traffic allowance then my printer.

Gizmo
01-19-2014, 09:53 PM
If you go to the router it should have a sticker on it with a "admin" login. Log into that IP and with that password. (normally 192.xxx.xxx.xx or something). Go to network connections when the router screen comes up.

There should be a list of devices there. If you click on each once you may be able to rename it - I have with ours. Either switch on devices one by one and check which are active at that time or see if you can find out the MAC addresses from the devices themselves. Don't forget it may not just be your PCs and phones - it may be the Consoles and TV Equipment as well.

Kittykat
01-19-2014, 11:52 PM
Hence why my WiFi is password protected.

Mr Hero
02-03-2014, 08:39 AM
I found out on Friday that the network at my brother's business is "Get your own network". Reminded me of this thread.

fireheart
02-03-2014, 09:38 AM
I found out on Friday that the network at my brother's business is "Get your own network". Reminded me of this thread.

My boyfriend named his mothers "use this one mum"

raudf
02-05-2014, 03:31 PM
My Dad has his listed as "FBI listening post." I thought about renaming mine to, "404 Wi-Fi not found."

Geek King
02-05-2014, 04:39 PM
Hmm, I've got a spare wireless router at the moment. Maybe I should set it up without a password, but not hook it up to a network. The thought of a bandwidth thief getting good signal, but no access to the internet is entertaining, for some reason. :devil:

SongsOfDragons
02-05-2014, 04:57 PM
In second year of uni our wireless, set up by my housemates, was called Hermes. When we moved into a flat over the road for third year, I asked one which Greek god/dess we should use this time. He answered 'Greek god? Naah we used Futurama characters.'

Quoth me 'oh we'll use Zoidberg then.' :D

TheSHAD0W
02-05-2014, 05:01 PM
The thought of a bandwidth thief getting good signal, but no access to the internet is entertaining, for some reason. :devil:

...That's BRILLIANT. I love it! :roll:

Make the network name "PRIVATE WIFI", so only a real thief would try to connect through it.

Jay 2K Winger
02-05-2014, 06:20 PM
My Dad has his listed as "FBI listening post." I thought about renaming mine to, "404 Wi-Fi not found."

Or name it "┓┏ 凵 =╱⊿┌┬┐" and see if they freak out. (It's a Doctor Who reference!)

mhkohne
02-06-2014, 12:28 AM
Hmm, I've got a spare wireless router at the moment. Maybe I should set it up without a password, but not hook it up to a network. The thought of a bandwidth thief getting good signal, but no access to the internet is entertaining, for some reason. :devil:

If you want to really f**k with them, hook up a computer on that router as the gateway. Set up this computer to answer any and all web requests with a random web page.

The victim will have no idea what's going on.

Kaylyn
02-06-2014, 10:58 PM
I named my wi-fi Routernomicon. It's password-protected, but I wonder if anyone's been brave enough to try to steal it...

Taurus52
02-07-2014, 02:33 AM
Or you can set it to not broadcast the SSID. That way no one can see you and the can't connect unless they know the SSID and the password.. Dlinks website has many emulators that not only let you poke around ad see what settings are available but also what they do. Great place to school yourself.

otakuneko
02-07-2014, 02:44 AM
Like MAC filtering, SSID hiding only keeps the accidental clickers out.

One fun idea I heard was set an AP up, and funnel all requests through a box running squid. Then you could have it scramble text, flip images, all sorts of stuff. XD

BeeMused
02-08-2014, 09:37 AM
AH, squid, the source of endless fun to be had. Once we used a cron job to switch around allow lists. One allowed facebook and other "important" websites, the other didn't. It was the last day before the firm closed down for good, so we decided to have some fun.

Firecrackers Not Included
02-09-2014, 07:22 PM
I've got an unknown neighbor that's named: "2 girls 1 router"

Parrothead
02-11-2014, 04:50 PM
Mine is "speak friend and enter"


Yes, the first part of the password is "Mellon"

ThirdGenRetail
02-13-2014, 01:49 AM
I found out on Friday that the network at my brother's business is "Get your own network". Reminded me of this thread.

Mine is "Keep Your Damn XBox Off My Wifi" :D Our WiFi had suddenly started to go slow... REALLY slow. When Mother looked into it, there was an XBox on the WiFi. Problem... My XBox is a first-gen XBox, no WiFi capabilities. We only had two neighbors at that point who could possibly HAVE an XBox 360, and one of them has been in the trailorhood longer than we have... They have their own WiFi. Conclusion: Neighbors next door who'd moved in in the past couple years, had an adult male in my age group, and they tended to have parties... Up goes a password and a change to our WiFi name! I was kinda sad because it was the only way my old DS could possibly hope to connect to the internet, but now I have a 3DS, and it hasn't the same issues of "I have to put it on THIS setting that's OPEN WITH NO PASSWORD so the DS can connect to others"

So... How does one find out their MAC address...? XD;; So I know what's what and I can make a file noting which one's my laptop, which one's Mother's laptop, which one's her iPad, her Microsoft tablet thing, which one's her iMac... And which one's my 3DS(WTF, how does she end up with so much stuff on my wireless...)

otakuneko
02-13-2014, 02:11 AM
ipconfig /all on Win and ip addr (the link/ether value is the MAC) on *nix, should apply to BSD as well (ie: the Mac).

Would be easier to just look at your router's client list. It should show IP, hostname, and MAC, from which you could easily discern what's what.

As long as you're using WPA2 with a long, hard to guess password you should be good....for now. :devil:

Mr Hero
02-13-2014, 06:43 AM
So... How does one find out their MAC address...? XD;; So I know what's what and I can make a file noting which one's my laptop, which one's Mother's laptop, which one's her iPad, her Microsoft tablet thing, which one's her iMac... And which one's my 3DS(WTF, how does she end up with so much stuff on my wireless...)

System Settings, Internet Settings, Other Information, Confirm MAC Address

That'll tell you what your MAC address on your 3DS is.

VComps
02-13-2014, 04:33 PM
My favorite SSID: "Bill Wi the Science Fi"

Deserted
02-14-2014, 03:34 AM
Hmm, I've got a spare wireless router at the moment. Maybe I should set it up without a password, but not hook it up to a network. The thought of a bandwidth thief getting good signal, but no access to the internet is entertaining, for some reason. :devil:

I do believe I'm going to have to steal that idea.

I might give "them" access to a sandboxed local server, set it up so every single address redirects to some pointless page.

Or name it "┓┏ 凵 =╱⊿┌┬┐" and see if they freak out. (It's a Doctor Who reference!)

Oh hey, look at this... (http://shkspr.mobi/blog/2013/03/howto-make-a-doctor-who-bells-of-st-john-style-wifi-name/)