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View Full Version : Bratty adults, thongs, and idiots


HotelMinion
01-05-2014, 11:06 AM
So for my vacation I went to the Carribean to zipline and to the beach, and I didn't enjoy it very much, sad to say. For those who don't know what ziplining is, basically, you're traveling down by a wire and being held up by a harness, for miles. Sort of feels like parasailing only much faster.
My group to zipline had a bunch of loud, obnoxious 40 year olds, and on the bus ride there, they started complaining when the driver tried to point out some landmarks on the island. "We didn't sign up for a TOUR!" they screamed. "Hurry up and drive us!" Then they started yelling whenever he made a turn, clutching the seats as if they were on a roller coaster. THe ride wasn't the smoothest, but it why make such a big deal? Anyway the bus there was small potatoes compart to the ride up the mountain....ugh.
So we get to where the company is located, and they give us this very heavy harness to wear and heavy, steel pulley to carry. THen they make us walk through the muddy jungle, which I would have enjoyed, except for the heavy stuff I had to carry. After that, they stuffed us 20 to a truck, just a regular truck, so close like sardines and went up a VERY bumpy road. Carrying our heavy stuff. I mean I was holding on for dear life then, trying not to hit anyone with my pulley with each bump. Many people almost fell out! I bet if a person had, they would've rolled all the way down the mountain, that's how steep it was. In what seemed like a looong time, we finally made it up the mountain.
THe scenery was beautiful, so many people stopped to take pictures. There was this crazy old lady that seemed to be by herself. She had a stuffed monkey strapped to her chest via harness like a child. She kept talking to no one, I think, or to it.
The guide was now hooking our harnesses to the wire, and all the sudden she screamed to him, "WHy don't you go on the wire, I want to take a picture!"

The guide said something like, "I go on the wire all the time.."

She said, "Well do it now, I want to take your picture, you monkey!" And she kept yelling and calling him a monkey for the rest of the way. And no one knew where to look. I was thinking, WTF is this woman crazy? I was very glad to get away.

When I went to beach the next day, everything was fine at first. The weather was beautiful, blue sky and all. I go and spread my towel and lay on the beach chairs and relax. And then I notice that most of the other beachgoers are really old people. Ok, I don't have a problem with that. However I did have a problem with (and sorry if you're eating) the fact they all, I mean ALL, had stringy thongs on. :eek: And the females had string bikini tops on top that looked like little pieces of cloth. WTF ever happened with wearing just a regular old swimsuit? My sister said it was probably because they were at that age where they were too old to give an eff. I told her if I ever hit 60 and wanted to wear a thong to a public beach, that she should slap me. Hard as she can.

"Can I have that in writing?" she said.

"Sure." I said. Because I meant it!

And one last gripe. I was eating at a buffet. Now for a quiz. You are at a buffet, and you spot a tasty looking dish. As you get closer, however, it doesn't look so tasty so you change your mind. Do you:

A - Stay there with a dumb expression while you look around for another dish you might like.

B - Move out of the way so the people behind you can have a piece of the dish you don't like.

THe marjority of the people did A. And then they would give me a LOOK if I asked them to move, like I just asked them to stand on their heads or something.

wolfie
01-06-2014, 04:03 AM
The guide was now hooking our harnesses to the wire, and all the sudden she screamed to him, "WHy don't you go on the wire, I want to take a picture!"

The guide said something like, "I go on the wire all the time.."

She said, "Well do it now, I want to take your picture, you monkey!"

The guide should be the LAST one onto the wire. After all, he's the one who knows how to hook the pulleys on PROPERLY, so if he were to comply with crazy monkey bitch, everyone remaining would be at risk of falling off partway down the zipline.

I told her if I ever hit 60 and wanted to wear a thong to a public beach, that she should slap me. Hard as she can.

Only an amputee should wear *A* thong at the beach.:D

I believe someone has mentioned a law that the people who wear the skimpiest bathing suits are the ones you least want to see in a skimpy bathing suit.

NecessaryCatharsis
01-06-2014, 04:16 AM
I believe someone has mentioned a law that the people who wear the skimpiest bathing suits are the ones you least want to see in a skimpy bathing suit.

Unfortunately that's also true of crocheted (sp?) bikinis. I needed dozens of mojitos to sleep after that sighting on my last vacation.

Seshat
01-06-2014, 10:22 PM
It depends on how tight the crochet is. It can be done tightly enough that at a casual glance it's fully covering. And if the wearer truly wants an open lace effect, they can wear lined crochet.