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View Full Version : Can I have my dinner in a nut-free zone please?


Kit-Ginevra
01-18-2014, 03:34 AM
I really don't know why they gravitate to me.Had just settled down at the restaurant to read my book and await the arrival of the fish,when Girl-on-the-Next-Table notices me.She's about 18/19 and it seems she's a happy little drunk who wants to say hi. Well,I find normally if you humour them and smile,they wander away after a bit.

After a moment or two,the rest of her table noticed her and called over... ':leave the poor lad alone,that's my daughter,she's just being friendly....'
Friendly maybe,bright not so-she got very startled when I knew her name,despite the fact that her mother had just shouted across to her and at least two of her party had used it since I arrived.
Well she got bored of me,especially when I was paying more interest to the fish than her...and wouldn't let her have some of my chips and wandered back to her group.

And then she climbs up on boyfriend. Sits the wrong way on his lap and starts straddling him and...starts attempting to hump him.Of course,the rest of her group finds this hilarious and we get more cries of 'go on,give him a snog'.which she did...more cheers...'get stuck in there girl'...wich she did...
And this continued through dinner,occasionally nibbling each others faces or her bouncing up and down on him.

And then the kicker....
They all exit to go to whatever club they will be gracing with their presence.And then boyfriend returns to their table-'sorry about them,they get a bit carried away.Did you see where my mum left her jacket.'
Yep,it wasn't her boyfriend she was going at like a small animal in heat.It was her BROTHER :eek: For some reason,I got out of there and down to the station very speedily...

:brainbleach:

MoonCat
01-18-2014, 04:00 AM
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

Eevie
01-18-2014, 05:49 AM
If you excuse me, I will be using the next five bottles of brain bleach... That's just disgusting! And the mom was cheering them on, too?!?!

:brainbleach: :brainbleach: :brainbleach: :brainbleach: :brainbleach:

Irving Patrick Freleigh
01-18-2014, 09:02 PM
You sure you're not from a small town in Wisconsin near me?

There are a few of them close by where this kind of thing wouldn't cause any of the locals to bat an eye. :eek:

TheSHAD0W
01-19-2014, 12:07 AM
It's sad that we're finding so many more people with nut allergies, but there seem to be more and more nuts present every day!

EvilEmpryss
01-19-2014, 12:26 AM
I'm going to adamantly insist that they must have been siblings purely by adoption. It's the only way I can process the ick factor on that one.

If I allow myself for a moment to consider the alternative, I will need to soak my brain in bleach for the next week.

Pixilated
01-19-2014, 12:53 AM
Definitely a family that knows how to put the "fun" in "dysfunctional" ...

otakuneko
01-19-2014, 02:20 AM
Well at least they're keeping it in the family.

:rimshot:

Monterey Jack
01-19-2014, 02:58 AM
Their names wouldn't be "Luke" and "Leia" by any chance...?

Kittykat
01-19-2014, 03:46 AM
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

wolfie
01-19-2014, 09:18 AM
The parents encouraged them? I wonder - were THEY brother and sister?:eek:

Sunshine
01-21-2014, 01:05 AM
Were banjos playing softly in the background? Ewwwwww

Zellie Crescent
01-21-2014, 04:09 PM
Maybe they're former/future guests on the Jerry Springer show?

Redbeard
01-21-2014, 07:04 PM
I'm going to adamantly insist that they must have been siblings purely by adoption. It's the only way I can process the ick factor on that one.

If I allow myself for a moment to consider the alternative, I will need to soak my brain in bleach for the next week.

Or married.
I refer to my mother in law as "Mom"

An Haddock
01-21-2014, 07:26 PM
Their names wouldn't be "Luke" and "Leia" by any chance...?



I guess they gave in to the Dark Side.

Seshat
01-22-2014, 03:37 PM
Or married.
I refer to my mother in law as "Mom"

My maternal grandmother was more of a mother to my Dad than his own mother ever was.

And if we three (Toth, Bast and I) could choose parents out of our six, we'd choose Toth's Dad and Bast's Mum. And we call each others' parents 'Dad' and 'Mum'. If we have to, they're 'Dad Bruce' and 'Mum Shiela', to distinguish which Dad and Mum they are.

Geek King
01-22-2014, 07:22 PM
Incest laws: They wouldn't need a law if someone didn't want to do it. >.>

EvilEmpryss
01-23-2014, 12:01 AM
OMG! :eek: :spew:

I never thought about it that way!