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View Full Version : Why Are You Giving Her That?


catcul
01-26-2014, 09:05 PM
My mother received a calendar from Farnam, a horse care company. It includes stickers for farrier care, horse shows, and visits to the vet. There are three problems: she doesn't own a horse; she has never owned a horse; and the city she lives in doesn't allow horses.

Thanks for the calendar, Farnam.

Estil
01-27-2014, 02:02 AM
I keep getting things in the mail advertising State Farm Auto Insurance...even though I've never owned a vehicle and I've never been a licensed driver (for mental/emotional health reasons I cannot). Geez, don't they check their mailing lists? :P

dalesys
01-27-2014, 02:08 AM
... a horse care company...
A) A horse laugh.
B) A horse's ...
C) "The old grey mare..."

Pixilated
01-27-2014, 03:18 AM
I keep getting things in the mail advertising State Farm Auto Insurance...even though I've never owned a vehicle and I've never been a licensed driver (for mental/emotional health reasons I cannot). Geez, don't they check their mailing lists? :P

Nope, LOL.

XCashier
01-27-2014, 03:41 AM
:shrug: As long as it's an attractive calendar (lots of pics of pretty horses, I presume?), no point in not using it. I've gotten odd calendars for things I don't follow (a New Age one once, and a Greenpeace one another year) and as long as the pictures are nice and not vulgar or gross, I see no sense in wasting a perfectly good calendar.

ADeMartino
01-27-2014, 02:21 PM
I love being on a mailing list. The stuff I get is surreal. Someone thinks I buy scented candles, for instance, because I keep getting booklets about them, like clockwork, every month. Let's be clear on this - the only 'scented' candle I ever bought smelled like citronella. AOL keeps sending me shit - addressed to ME, personally - even though I haven't even considered an account with them in nearly 20 years. John Deere keeps sending me literature, too. No idea why.

But the one that took the cake happened almost 30 years ago, when I was in the Navy. I went to mail call one day, and got a letter from the Army, telling me all the wonderful benefits of military service. Yes, that's right - the ARMY sent a recruitment packet to an FPO (Fleet Post Office) address, complete with rank and serial number! Gee guys, I'd love to enlist, but there's a little problem....

Your tax dollars at work, folks.

dalesys
01-27-2014, 02:44 PM
... the ARMY sent a recruitment packet to an FPO (Fleet Post Office) address...
Tired of that sinking feeling? Just change your service!

otakuneko
01-27-2014, 09:41 PM
Tired of that sinking feeling? Just change your service!

We promise you won't have to swab the deck, but you might have to dig a latrine. :D

MoonCat
01-28-2014, 12:29 AM
I've gotten catalogs for machinery and tools. The most "mechanical" thing I've ever done is replace a toilet lid. I clean the bathtub drain out with a pickle fork :o (well I used to....) No idea where they got my name.

When my sister was in high school she once got a catalog from Frederick's of Hollywood. :eek:

CrappyToHelp
01-28-2014, 12:56 AM
I keep receiving lovely booklets from the UK Conservative Party addressed to me.

1) I've never signed up to anything of theirs.
2) I think their Prime Minister is a moron.
3) I'm on the opposite side of the political spectrum.

I never read them but I often go to the local library and leave them on the newspapers table.

Difdi
01-28-2014, 02:14 AM
There's at least one mailing list out there that thinks I'm a 70+ year old female smoker. I've never smoked anything in my life, and I'm not even 40 yet. I'm also male.

Go figure. :confused:

Monterey Jack
01-28-2014, 02:53 AM
I've never owned a car, yet I keep getting Spam e-mails for car services and financing and shit.

Racket_Man
01-28-2014, 08:17 AM
I've never owned a car, yet I keep getting Spam e-mails for car services and financing and shit.

We used to get phone calls telling us that our car warranty was expiring and it needed to be renewed. The problem was that BOTH of our cars were old enough (10 and 9 years old at the time) AND bought used several years after the initial sale that ANY manufactores warranty had long since become deceased, dead, buried, snuffed and ceased to be alive anymore .

Always good for a laugh:lol:

NecessaryCatharsis
01-28-2014, 11:12 AM
I've never owned a car, yet I keep getting Spam e-mails for car services and financing and shit.

I frequently get spam emails offering to enlarge a piece of anatomy I don't possess, and others offering to improve blood flow to it. :lol:

Canadian In Maine
01-28-2014, 12:15 PM
I've never owned a car, yet I keep getting Spam e-mails for car services and financing and shit.

Hope I'm allowed to do this:

https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/t1/263631_10151542344139622_139003776_n.jpg

Shalom
01-28-2014, 04:01 PM
We used to get phone calls telling us that our car warranty was expiring and it needed to be renewed. The problem was that BOTH of our cars were old enough (10 and 9 years old at the time) AND bought used several years after the initial sale that ANY manufactores warranty had long since become deceased, dead, buried, snuffed and ceased to be alive anymore .

I've gotten those. Finally stayed on long enough to get a human.

Him: What kind of vehicle do you have?

Me: 1988 Chevrolet S10 Blazer. 220K miles.

Him: <click>

Mytical
01-28-2014, 04:42 PM
One of the most annoying things is Credit Cards. I get offers for Credit Cards (all need to be approved by credit rating mind). The issue is..never had one, don't want one, don't need one. Not to mention that I think paying 25% interest (or about that) is INSANE. Second problem is.. thanks to my illness my credit is in the toilet. I think I have a credit score of about 500 or so.. so they is no way that I would get a credit card unless it was a prepaid one. Not something I am proud of, but it is useless for them to send me Credit Card applications.

XCashier
01-29-2014, 12:19 AM
Hope I'm allowed to do this:
That pic made me laugh so hard I had a rather painful coughing fit (note to self: don't peruse CS while sick!). I've got to share that one!

Cia
01-29-2014, 01:33 AM
I love being on a mailing list. The stuff I get is surreal. Someone thinks I buy scented candles, for instance, because I keep getting booklets about them, like clockwork, every month. Let's be clear on this - the only 'scented' candle I ever bought smelled like citronella. AOL keeps sending me shit - addressed to ME, personally - even though I haven't even considered an account with them in nearly 20 years. John Deere keeps sending me literature, too. No idea why.

But the one that took the cake happened almost 30 years ago, when I was in the Navy. I went to mail call one day, and got a letter from the Army, telling me all the wonderful benefits of military service. Yes, that's right - the ARMY sent a recruitment packet to an FPO (Fleet Post Office) address, complete with rank and serial number! Gee guys, I'd love to enlist, but there's a little problem....

Your tax dollars at work, folks.

What the draft service sent my Dad was better.

My Dad is from South Dakota, so with all his experience with the sea :roll: he joined the Navy. Whilst on leave from he was back in SDland and received his draft notice. :confused: So being the smartass he is he put on his uniform and presented himself to the local draft office.

BrenDAnn
01-30-2014, 03:11 AM
My mother got an advertisement for life insurance in the mail a week or two ago. One problem with that: my mother passed away in 2008. I think they were a little bit late on that one!

mhkohne
01-30-2014, 01:14 PM
My mother got an advertisement for life insurance in the mail a week or two ago. One problem with that: my mother passed away in 2008. I think they were a little bit late on that one!

My aunt died like 20 years ago - Mom still sometimes gets mail for her.

wolfie
01-30-2014, 01:53 PM
When I was younger, I got repeated "pre-approved" applications from American Express (I suspect they bought the mailing list from an electronics parts mail-order company I dealt with). Eventually I wrote them back, saying that I was *NOT* going to do business with a credit cad company that thought it was a good idea to offer cards to teenagers who had never held a job (such as myself). The "pre-approved" applications stopped after that.:lol:

Shalom
01-30-2014, 04:17 PM
I went to the auto expo in the old NY Coliseum back in 1978 with my father. Collected a bunch of brochures. One looked interesting, so I sent in the coupon for more info; it looked like it was for some kind of toy model car.

Turns out it was for a full size kit car (the kind you build on a VW chassis, which were still plentiful back then). They kept sending and sending more and more literature, which of course I had nothing to do with. Finally one day they called my house and ranted at my father for a while, asking how come they weren't getting any responses. My father informed them that I was ten years old, and wasn't going to be driving anything at any time soon, let alone a car you had to build yourself.

They seemed really indignant that I wasn't buying their car, which I took for granted at the time, but in retrospect I have to say :wtf:? Do they expect every single person who sent them a coupon to actually buy their product?

Racket_Man
01-31-2014, 04:07 AM
When I was younger, I got repeated "pre-approved" applications from American Express (I suspect they bought the mailing list from an electronics parts mail-order company I dealt with). Eventually I wrote them back, saying that I was *NOT* going to do business with a credit cad company that thought it was a good idea to offer cards to teenagers who had never held a job (such as myself). The "pre-approved" applications stopped after that.:lol:

When I was in my early 20's (back 30 some years ago) just after I had gotten out of college I sent in an application for a CC. Now since I was just starting out I figured either they would flat our turn me down or offer me some type of "student card"

They rejected me BUT in the rejection letter they offered to have any children I had the option to apply. :confused::eek: At that age ANY child I had would have been way too young for a CC. and yes they DID know my age at the time.

Kal
01-31-2014, 02:09 PM
I still get mail here for a guy who moved out over eight years ago. He got a lot of final demands and bailiffs letters (eventually they've stopped), quite a lot of post asking if he wanted to register to retake his bar exam and, last week, a lego gandalf. The other post was irritating, but at least I got a lego figure out of it.

dalesys
01-31-2014, 02:50 PM
... a lego gandalf...
It's a trap for him! When you fall asleep, it turns into a balrog.

greek_jester
01-31-2014, 04:51 PM
What the draft service sent my Dad was better.

My Dad is from South Dakota, so with all his experience with the sea :roll: he joined the Navy. Whilst on leave from he was back in SDland and received his draft notice. :confused: So being the smartass he is he put on his uniform and presented himself to the local draft office.

I've got to ask; what was the reaction? I can imagine the facepalm from the poor sod in the draft office being epic.

Pagan
01-31-2014, 08:39 PM
I've never owned a car, yet I keep getting Spam e-mails for car services and financing and shit.

I get ones (and phone calls every now and then, too) for re-financing my mortgage. I live in an apartment.

I frequently get spam emails offering to enlarge a piece of anatomy I don't possess, and others offering to improve blood flow to it. :lol:

I get those too. It's funny when they come into one e-mail because it uses my actual first name, which is most definitely, no doubt about it, female.

wolfie
02-01-2014, 05:42 AM
I get those too. It's funny when they come into one e-mail because it uses my actual first name, which is most definitely, no doubt about it, female.

Maybe they're Johnny Cash fans? After all, one of his songs dealt with a man whose first name was definitely, no doubt about it, female.:D

ADeMartino
02-01-2014, 04:14 PM
I've gotten those. Finally stayed on long enough to get a human.

Him: What kind of vehicle do you have?

Me: 1988 Chevrolet S10 Blazer. 220K miles.

Him: <click>

No great loss. It was a scam anyway. A legitimate call center would never allow a CSR to hang up on a potential future customer.

Gizmo
02-04-2014, 08:46 PM
My aunt died like 20 years ago - Mom still sometimes gets mail for her.

We got credit card offers for the prior resident of my last place. I got to the point that I was writing "The dead don't need money" on the envelope as "deceased" just wasn't working..... funnily enough they stopped.

catcul
02-04-2014, 10:47 PM
I often get advertising for retirement communities. I'm not even 40 yet.

DGoddessChardonnay
02-04-2014, 11:03 PM
I often get advertising for retirement communities. I'm not even 40 yet.

I just got a letter offering me life insurance for folks between 45 and 85 from Mutual of Omaha. And it insures you up to age 100!

I'm not 45 yet for about 5 more weeks. All I need now is to get an offer from AARP.:cry:

drjonah
02-05-2014, 02:52 AM
I turned 40 last July. No biggie but now I'm getting ads for 'senior dating' AARGH

CrappyToHelp
02-05-2014, 05:30 PM
My mother got an advertisement for life insurance in the mail a week or two ago. One problem with that: my mother passed away in 2008. I think they were a little bit late on that one!

We still get calls for my father.

"Hello, can we speak to Mr CrappyToHelp please?"
"You can't, I'm afraid."
"Can I leave a message?"
"You can do, but I can guarantee he'll never receive it."
"Can I ask why?"
"Because he's been dead since 2007."
"Oh."
*click*

Oh god. And once, we had someone pay for pizza online and come to our house with it. The delivery driver was told that it was for a man's sons, so wouldn't have the card he paid with. He kept trying to give it to us until we explained that our dad had been dead for six years.

On the bright side, he gave it to us as a pity pizza.

Aethian
02-05-2014, 08:11 PM
All I need now is to get an offer from AARP.:cry:

I've been getting those since age 25.

XCashier
02-06-2014, 02:41 AM
I've been getting those since age 25.
Same here. Yet my husband, who is 4 years older than I am and in fact turned 50 a couple of weeks ago, has yet to receive any AARP stuff. Go figure. :shrug:

Monterey Jack
02-06-2014, 02:54 AM
We got credit card offers for the prior resident of my last place. I got to the point that I was writing "The dead don't need money" on the envelope as "deceased" just wasn't working..... funnily enough they stopped.

I used to get a ton of mail for the previous occupant on my apartment (I moved in nearly four years ago), until I finally had enough, scrawled, "DOES NOT LIVE HERE ANYMORE" on one of the envelopes, and stuffed it back in my mailbox. I've never received mail intended for this former occupant since.

KatherineB
02-06-2014, 06:06 AM
I used to get a ton of mail for the previous occupant on my apartment (I moved in nearly four years ago), until I finally had enough, scrawled, "DOES NOT LIVE HERE ANYMORE" on one of the envelopes, and stuffed it back in my mailbox. I've never received mail intended for this former occupant since.

I wish that worked for me. I moved in on August 1 last year, gave the previous owners one month to get their shit together, then put a note on the last envelope I received saying "As of September 5, all mail will be marked Return To Sender." And yet I still get their bank statements, mobile phone bills, and even a letter to the Electoral Commission (we had a federal election on September 9) that you thought they might have felt were important enough to have redirected or to ensure that the relevant organisations knew they'd moved. If I considered a life of crime or fraud, I'd have had a field day! Idiots! And the mail hasn't stopped coming!

Racket_Man
02-06-2014, 07:29 AM
I've been getting those since age 25.

Yup. got one or two AARP things in my early 30's

Same here. Yet my husband, who is 4 years older than I am and in fact turned 50 a couple of weeks ago, has yet to receive any AARP stuff. Go figure. :shrug:

I also turned 50 4 years ago and have yet to receive anything either.

mjr
02-06-2014, 10:47 AM
I occasionally get these form letters from car dealerships in my area. There are a few things wrong with them:

1. They misspell my first name. Always. Which means it's on file that way.
2. They're clearly fakey-fake email printouts, with fakey-fake handwriting on them.
3. They always look like they're from the "manager" to a sales guy, saying to "reach out" to me about my car, because customers are "interested" in my year/make/model.
4. I drive a 2005 Honda Accord with over 140,000 miles on it. Nothing wrong with that, but I seriously doubt that people are going to a BIG, brand-name car dealership desperately searching for 2005 Honda Accords.
5. Sometimes they come with a "screen capture" of a fakey-fake text message exchange. They hedge, though, because they refer to me as "them" (as in, "I'll reach out to them"). Because they don't have my gender, which is male, on file.
6. They try to lure me in by trying to offer $6,000+ for my car. I know Hondas are known for retaining their value, but did I mention it's 9 years old and has over 140,000 miles on it??
7. They don't know this, but I'm planning on driving that car as long as possible. I really don't want another car payment right now. I just don't.

The Mrs. pulled off a good one several months back. I know people that work/have worked in the car sales industry won't like it, but we thought it was funny, just because of the ridiculousness of the situation.

Ok, she gets a flier in the mail from the dealership where she bought her car. And when I say "bought", I mean "paid cash for".

The little flier she got said they could "reduce her payments!!111!!!eleventy!!"

So she decided to have a little fun with them. She calls them up, and says something like, "I have a flier here that says you can reduce my payments." Then there's a pause, where I assume the person who answered the phone said something to her, probably along the lines of "What's your current payment?"

Her reply? "Can you beat $0 per month??"

Judging by what happened next, I can only assume the guy said no, because the phone call ended.

She hung up and we had a giggle.

siskaren
02-06-2014, 11:06 PM
Same here. Yet my husband, who is 4 years older than I am and in fact turned 50 a couple of weeks ago, has yet to receive any AARP stuff. Go figure. :shrug:


I also turned 50 4 years ago and have yet to receive anything either.

Interesting. I turned 50 in October and got an application shortly before that.

Racket_Man
02-07-2014, 04:24 AM
GF got5 one the other day.

a little background first
My GF has a degenerative brain disease and has not been able to drive for 2 and half years. she sold her car AND gave up her drivers license about the same time.
end BG

She got a mass mailing letter in the mail yesterday from a car insurance company advertising LOW LOW car insurance rates.

Ironclad Alibi
02-07-2014, 04:50 PM
Regarding the AARP membership offers, my wife joined us up many years ago. Evey few months I get another offer from them to join. And I did call them once to get this fixed, but nothing changed.

Another odd letter I received was from the office I retired from 7 years earlier asking me to apply for the job I retired from. Of course this is the same agency that 30 years ago sent me a letter saying they had no position for me after I had already been hired by them.

Shalom
02-07-2014, 06:07 PM
a letter to the Electoral Commission (we had a federal election on September 9) that you thought they might have felt were important enough to have redirected

On this side of the planet, stuff from the Board of Elections can't be forwarded, as far as I know. If you move, they need to know where you've moved to, so they can put you in the right electoral district.

The little flier she got said they could "reduce her payments!!111!!!eleventy!!"

the person who answered the phone said something to her, probably along the lines of "What's your current payment?"

Her reply? "Can you beat $0 per month??"


Yeah, I did that once too. This was sometime in 1994, more or less, I'd just bought the '88 S10 Blazer that I'm still driving, and pulled into a Chevy dealer in Buffalo to get some kind of dealer-only part for it (the glove compartment door, I think it was). The salesman saw me getting out of it, hustled over and said "I can get you into a new Blazer for the same payments you're making now." I told him, "Yeah, I'd like to see that, because this one's paid off." He laughed and said he guessed he couldn't do that, then.


"Because he's been dead since 2007."
"Oh."
*click*

Someone once called me up demanding my grandfather's new address. I don't know why he was asking me, given that Zayde had never lived at my address, but I still told him. "Plot ###, Beth Moses Cemetery, Wyandanch NY 11798."

They weren't all that happy with that answer, but that's where he was at the time...

DGoddessChardonnay
02-08-2014, 01:17 AM
She got a mass mailing letter in the mail yesterday from a car insurance company advertising LOW LOW car insurance rates.

Something else I get on occasion . . . and I don't have driver's license.:confused:

And not just by snail mail either . . . I also see these in my email box.

Nashida
02-08-2014, 02:24 AM
AARP has sent me a handful of things before, and I famously shared after turning 21 that I had received an offer for a Hoveround chair.

For the record I'll be 26 in June.

Tama
02-08-2014, 05:16 PM
Don't you mean 76?

:lol:

blondescales
02-08-2014, 08:22 PM
I frequently get spam emails offering to enlarge a piece of anatomy I don't possess, and others offering to improve blood flow to it. :lol:
I get these too as well as ones from women wanting to have affairs and other similar things. Some even want to get married.

Trixie
02-09-2014, 02:52 AM
Somewhere something I signed up for (I think it was a newspaper subscription) got my name wrong. It was something like Tin Tickerd. And I even got some piece of mail addressed to Tin and Trixie Tickerd. I have no idea how that even happened.

After my mother died we got a thing for a book club addressed to her and written on the front of the envelope was "Are you dying for a good mystery?" It was long enough after that we found it funny.