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View Full Version : New Game: The CS Shaving Cream Song


taxguykarl
01-29-2014, 05:25 PM
XCashier had a great idea. (http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showthread.php?p=1197197#post1197197)

The way you play is that you compose an SC-related tale(s?) to a verse(s?) of The Shaving Cream Song. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rpq6u8hYgk)

The crude term for excrement gets replaced with:
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

Here are entries from this thread (http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showthread.php?p=1197197#post1197197):
I once had a S.C. curse at us,
Their pizza was not the right fit,
Two weeks since they ordered?! They called us,
They said, "This food tastes just like..."
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
Last night an SC bought a pattern
And then bought ten yards of stretch knit
She tried to return it this morning
All washed out and cut up to...shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

A tax custy's refund was seized
it was for support for his kids
he called us out quite loudly
He said that the practice was ...
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

That is how this game will work
I ask that you to please not quit
If this very concept offends you,
Stick your head in a barrel of ....
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

EricKei
01-29-2014, 05:35 PM
Typing up letters from readers...
My head on the wall, I will hit.
Caps in wrong places, no commas,
You dumb mofos can't spell worth
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keenScreaming S.C. is so angry,
I'm getting so tired of it.
My manager, he is so spineless,
Can't take any more of this
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keenGravekeeper he gets all the weird ones,
Amazed that he's not yet lost it.
We sympathize with your frustration,
But we love to read all of that
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keenDrunk guy comes in Tuesday morning,
It's obvious that he's quite lit.
He says "Gimme some Pabst Blue Ribbon!!"
Jester says we don't sell that
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen----------

Side note -- For years, I thought that second line was "Peanuts and cream" until I actually looked up the lyrics. >_<

Amazing they were able to get away with this in 1946...tho I always loved the last verse: "...If any of you feel offended,/Stick your head in a barrel of..."

Irving Patrick Freleigh
01-29-2014, 06:26 PM
You bought this old toaster just last night
At the swamp, and you paid with debit?
It's got ten years of bread crumbs and scorch marks
You know what? You are so full of......
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

Ironclad Alibi
01-29-2014, 06:26 PM
The customer returned a game
Said he didn't like Wii Fit
I opened the box
And it was full of

shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

XCashier
01-29-2014, 07:12 PM
The customer rattled the locked door.
We'd had to close up for a bit.
We told her "we have a power outage,"
She told us that we're full of
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

Irving Patrick Freleigh
01-29-2014, 07:44 PM
I went for an oil change at Kwik-E-Lube
I drove the car for just a minute
They forgot to replace the car's drain plug
And my engine, it just took a ...

shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

Argabarga
01-29-2014, 09:46 PM
The sign, it said "No Parking"
You decided you'd try your luck
Now you're on foot and your pissed-off
Too bad, I don't give a ...

shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

Irving Patrick Freleigh
01-29-2014, 09:58 PM
I started working at the call center
Folks yell at me as I sit
"Your company sucks and I'm angry
Go die in a fire and eat..."

shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

XCashier
01-29-2014, 11:16 PM
I had to go clean up the bathroom.
Foul odors from there did emit.
I looked at the bathroom in horror.
The walls were all coated in
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

Jester
01-30-2014, 01:43 AM
A couple came in to my bar
Asked if I'd watch their infant a bit
They wanted to drink without worries
But I don't get paid to babys--

SHAAAAving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

I serve drinks for a living,
So someone please tell me where it's writ
That I have to put up with these jackasses
And all of their utter bullsh--

SHAAAAving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

Grandma Moses wanted a discount
And rather than throwing a snit
She thought she'd try to be sexy
By flashing us her saggy ole--

SHAAAAving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

If we ask you for valid ID
And you're young enough to still have all those zits
Don't argue with us, you can't win
So stop giving us your all that whiny--

SHAAAAving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

It's barely past noon on a weekday
And already you're drunk as a duck
But if you think I'll still serve you
You're clearly dumber than--

SHAAAAving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

Drunk guy comes in Tuesday morning,
It's obvious that he's quite lit.
He says "Gimme some Pabst Blue Ribbon!!"
Jester says we don't sell that

Creepy bizarre....that actually happened yesterday. And of course yesterday was Tuesday! As I said, weird.....

Jay 2K Winger
01-30-2014, 02:25 AM
You called up our IT Support line,
You'd borked up your files quite a bit.
You're going to have to reboot now.
Spare me all of your whining bull--

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

I understand you think you're important,
Your title runs on quite a bit.
But you're hardly a VIP, are you?
Go away with your entitlement--

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

EricKei
01-30-2014, 03:16 AM
My cat he is looking right at me,
Right where I would like to sit.
I ask him to move, he says No Way --
How are you not used to my

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

There is snow all over the country,
People are stuck fast in it.
But you know, my town got off lucky,
So I'm not stuck driving through

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

Katrina it fucked up my hometown,
We ran so far and fast from it.
Four weeks on, I opened my freezer,
The food, it had turned into

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

This guy he don't know no computer,
No clue 'bout a byte, nor a bit.
He took White-Out to fix his spelling,
And covered his display with

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

Pokemon are such odd creatures,
Just how, in that ball, can they fit?
I guess they don't need to be eating,
'Cuz it seems that they never

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.


Creepy bizarre....that actually happened yesterday. And of course yesterday was Tuesday! As I said, weird.....But for me...? It was Tuesday. :angel:

XCashier
01-30-2014, 04:46 AM
You don't like our rules and our system.
You're yelling and pitching a fit.
You say "the cust'mer's always right,"
But I say that you're full of
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

EricKei
01-30-2014, 03:41 PM
That button is easy to find, yeah,
And easy to press, isn't it?
When someone is being an asshole,
We love it when you report

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

New users, they're on Moderation,
Invisible posts, they're a hit.
So you don't have to deal with spammers,
We just banned three dudes for that

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

Irving Patrick Freleigh
01-30-2014, 08:24 PM
If a horrific outbreak of acne
Marks your face up with many a zit
Then there's a great new way to cure it
So just slather your face in....

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

Something shiny you got in your mail
It's an AOL installation kit
Your computer's now slow and it's useless
Should've just just chucked out that piece of...

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

EricKei
02-13-2014, 02:28 PM
Crazy one comes to place advert,
Does not want to pay for it.
Goes nuts so we call the po-lice,
We don't need to deal with this

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen.

Wednesday is crunch day, my darling,
Type all the words so they fit.
My story got bumped to B-Section
Where nobody ever reads

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen.

Bought game way back in the Oughties,
Now they say, want to return it.
This thing goes back two generations,
And of course no receipt for that

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen.

New co-irker started this morning,
All day on his ass, he does sit.
Owner's kid, he can't get fired,
I don't get paid enough for this

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen.

taxguykarl
02-14-2014, 05:59 PM
A prospect contacted Seraph
Said he wanted a website that's it
When she quoted her prices
He said she was full of
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

Irving Patrick Freleigh
02-15-2014, 06:52 PM
A prospect contacted Seraph
Said he wanted a website that's it
When she quoted her prices
He said she was full of

So he heisted one of her templates
His new website cost less than spit
She slapped him with a cease and desist
You know she ain't got time for that...


shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

XCashier
02-15-2014, 08:32 PM
Customer's kids tore up the store.
It looks like an atom bomb hit!
I told Mum, "Please control your children,"
She said, "Why should I give a
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

Irving Patrick Freleigh
02-15-2014, 09:17 PM
Customer's kids tore up the store.
It looks like an atom bomb hit!
I told Mum, "Please control your children,"
She said, "Why should I give a

Now they're racing around crowded aisles
Her daughter's head, it just got split
She should've looked out for that display
Our insurance will not pay you....

shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

wolfie
02-16-2014, 03:20 AM
You booked your room through a third party
V-day crowds the buffet can't fit
We didn't have your contact info
So to warn you we couldn't do

shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

Seshat
02-16-2014, 12:52 PM
Draft finished just yesterday morning
My editor's throwing a fit.
It meets the contracted criteria
But he says that I'm all full of

shaving cream.....

EricKei
02-16-2014, 02:34 PM
Just finished cleaning the cat box,
So to my chair I go, to sit.
An awful smell wafts to my nostrils,
That damn furball just took a

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen.

Jay 2K Winger
02-16-2014, 06:02 PM
The winter is no longer coming,
It's been snowing for quite a bit.
After spending the day doing shoveling,
My back has been giving me

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen.

mjr
02-17-2014, 10:51 AM
Some custys will try to be clever,
Think they'll get what they want with some wit
Those custy's are easily defeated
'cause they're usually just full of...

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen.

taxguykarl
02-18-2014, 08:08 PM
Agrabaga got a tow call incoming
Parked with a fake permit
He snickered and hooked up the car
Someone's now in some really deep
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

Cookie
02-18-2014, 08:15 PM
There once was a boss with a backbone.
We all loved his humor and wit.
After too many customers whining
His spine's sadly now turned to..

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen.

XCashier
02-19-2014, 02:45 PM
This customer bought half our yarn stock
(You could say she's a real knit-wit!)
She demanded to double her discounts
And screamed until I lost my
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

Cookie
02-19-2014, 07:34 PM
I once knew a customer dreadful
Demanding and all in a snit.
The lift then enacted some Karma.
It got stuck and then she lost her

SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen.

taxguykarl
02-21-2014, 03:50 PM
Dense fog, snow, winds and now rain
The TM got in a big snit
Seems no one wants to do taxes
When they have to drive throught this
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen

XCashier
03-17-2014, 06:51 PM
Our Arga was called to the car park
Where parking required a permit
He hooked up a car with a fake one
A bad one that looked just like
shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen