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View Full Version : You look pretty good for a dead guy!


drjonah
02-12-2014, 11:25 PM
So last night I went to the store to get some groceries. In Ohio, the cutoff for alcohol sales is 1am. As I'm approaching the register an extremely obnoxious guy (OG) is arguing with the cashier

Cashier - I'm sorry sir but it's past the 1am cutoff for alcohol sales

OG - OH COMON, YOU'RE LYING TO ME!

Cashier - No sir, state laws cuts off the sales of alcohol at 1am

Me - She's right, it's the law

OG - BUT I'M A VETERAN! I SHOULD BE ABLE TO BUY ALCOHOL WHENEVER I WANT.

Cashier - Sir, if you have a problem with the laws, you need to take it up with the lawmakers in Columbus

OG - BUT I DIED FOR THIS COUNTRY!!!

Me - You look pretty good for a dead guy

OG - F#$% YOU! I'M CALLING CORPORATE (storms out)



ps - I respect everyone who has served in the military but I absolutely detest when people try to throw that in your face to try and get you to bend the rules for them.

barainga
02-13-2014, 02:36 AM
I am a veteran. I served in Iraq, I was once told it was a minute past the cut off time. I shrugged my shoulders and bought a soda some cigs and left. It pains me that any vet would try to use the status to get around the laws.

MadMike
02-13-2014, 03:13 AM
I wonder if it could have been this guy. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGOyPlQUJuc) (Warning NSFW.)

CrappyToHelp
02-13-2014, 12:02 PM
"Yes, sir. I'm lying. Your pathetic, meagre existence means so much that I risk my job so I can get out of selling you booze."

Deserted
02-14-2014, 03:29 AM
I am a veteran. I served in Iraq, I was once told it was a minute past the cut off time. I shrugged my shoulders and bought a soda some cigs and left. It pains me that any vet would try to use the status to get around the laws.

Amen to that. I served my time, and I have NEVER. EVER. thrown it in anyone's face. (Hell, I rarely mention it without reason, said reason usually being "military/vet discount". :D)

But the "I died for this country" just proves that even stupid people are allowed to serve. :(

Mr Hero
02-14-2014, 11:51 PM
SC is doing it wrong. The point of war isn't to die for your country. It's to make the other side die for theirs.

Plague*Star
02-15-2014, 01:26 AM
OG - BUT I DIED FOR THIS COUNTRY!!!


I'm sorry, sir, brain death doesn't count.

P*S

snugglegirl05
02-15-2014, 03:34 PM
Me - You look pretty good for a dead guy

OG - F#$% YOU! I'M CALLING CORPORATE (storms out)



Ok

And exactly what is the Corporate office supposed to do about the laws that the lawmakers in Columbus make?

What does the old guy think that the Corporate office can do?

He does need to go to Columbus, OH and complain himself if he wants to buy alcohol after 1 a.m.

Or go to a bar or a serving restaurant like ADeMartino mentioned.

ADeMartino
02-15-2014, 04:08 PM
Ok

And exactly what is the Corporate office supposed to do about the laws that the lawmakers in Columbus make?

What does the old guy think that the Corporate office can do?

He does need to go to Columbus, OH and complain himself if he wants to buy alcohol after 1 p.m.

Or just go to a bar or serving restaurant. They can sell until 2, if memory serves.

Yeah, I've had people try that 'I'm a veteran' shit, too, when I won't sell them beer because it's after cutoff, if they don't have ID, or if they're clearly inebriated already. Yeah, buddy, I'm a veteran, too. But guess what? The cops won't give a shit about my veteran status when the arrest me for alcohol sales violations. So just mosey on down the road.

wolfie
02-15-2014, 07:14 PM
I'd be tempted to keep a bottle of one of the liquid artificial sweeteners (can't recall which brand) at the register, and tell an SC like that "This contains sorbitol, which is a type of alcohol which is legal to sell at this time. Do you want to buy it?".

Technically, any chemical with a name ending in "ol" is an alcohol. While sorbitol is not toxic (otherwise it wouldn't be legal to sell as an artificial sweetener), consuming it in large quantities (i.e. drinking it as if it were hooch - but I doubt if anyone would be able to tolerate the taste in concentrated form:puke:) can have side effects - I'm sure you guys have heard about the sugar-free gummy bears.:devil:

Note that a supermarket with a pharmacy department would have other alcohols available as rubbing alcohol, but since this would have either a "make it undrinkable" ingredient (95% ethanol), or be inherently toxic (methanol or isopropanol), they would NOT be suitable for this "backup plan" offer.

Tama
02-15-2014, 11:57 PM
The registers at the Malmart I worked at wouldn't even SCAN alcohol after midnight (our cutoff time). If you tried the register'd just beep and give the message about the time, something like "no sale after 12:00".

Of course, sensible college kids bought theirs before they did the rest of their shopping...I mean, really...

That's not even ... there are no words.

Ironclad Alibi
02-21-2014, 01:50 AM
I'd be tempted to keep a bottle of one of the liquid artificial sweeteners (can't recall which brand) at the register, and tell an SC like that "This contains sorbitol, which is a type of alcohol which is legal to sell at this time. Do you want to buy it?".

Don't suggest he buy the malt vinegar (http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showthread.php?t=166), but you might keep a couple of bottles on display at the check out counter.

Jay 2K Winger
02-21-2014, 02:07 AM
Don't suggest he buy the malt vinegar (http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showthread.php?t=166), but you might keep a couple of bottles on display at the check out counter.

I KNEW that was going to link to the Vinegar Boy story.

wolfie
02-21-2014, 06:04 AM
Vinegar Boy thread was closed by the time I read it. My take on his "thinking" process was:

- He's underage and wants cheap booze.
- "Malt Liquor" (similar to beer, but for various reasons, typically excess alcohol content, doesn't meet the local definition of "beer") is a cheap form of booze, and it's a brownish liquid.
- Here's a bottle on the shelf, with a brownish liquid inside, starts with "Malt" - must be Malt Liquor
- They sold it without asking for ID. Score!
- Chug-a-lug
- :puke: