View Full Version : Parking Lot Flatulence ( Self Sighting )

03-29-2014, 05:23 PM
A while back my best bud and I were in Torrance running errands. I needed my hair cut and he needed to swing by Sears, and on the way home we hit the Hometown Buffet located in the Del Amo Fashion Center mall. We ended up running into another friend of ours and lingered for quite a while, helping ourselves quite generously to whatever was on the menu.

At the end of it all, the inevitable consequence of mixing prime rib, collard greens, ice cream, and countless soda refills reared its ugly head. As we walked through the cold and dark parking lot, I looked around and saw no one. We were almost to my car, and thinking that the coast was clear, I lifted one leg slightly and let one fly. "BRRAAAAAMP!" My buddy laughed his ass off, and we suddenly heard other laughter coming from behind us.

At the very moment that I had cut loose, two teenage lovebirds and a solo male buddy of theirs had come from behind a van on their way to the restaurant, and were completely within earshot of my mini Hiroshima blast. The girl was giggling hysterically, the boyfriend had a big ol' grin on his face, and their buddy says "FUCK YEAH, DUDE!". As the two of us drive off we start laughing again.

Those kids should have been happy- they got dinner and a show.

03-29-2014, 10:06 PM
Acoustics would have been great too

03-29-2014, 10:47 PM
I knew I'd find a use for this pic eventually :D


03-30-2014, 03:05 AM
I've done something similar. :o A friend and I were leaving Ihop and were outside walking to my car. I didn't see anyone else around, so I let loose in glorious fashion. That's when I saw a woman sitting in her SUV a couple spaces over, with a disgusted look on her face. Whoops.

03-30-2014, 03:16 AM
"Didja see that elephant run under there?" </cos>

Irving Patrick Freleigh
03-30-2014, 03:43 AM
Should've asked if somebody stepped on a duck.

the lawsmeister
03-31-2014, 01:52 AM
Barking couch spider

03-31-2014, 10:14 AM
i bet the sound went even farther than you stink ...erm...think...

I once did such a concerto - long day, great meals, in downtown Tokyo... I let a Fuji-style eruption go... at first there were stares, then laughter, then seemingly a chorus from 2 other gentlemen, an elderly lady (who I thought would go into orbit) and her pet dog...good times

There is something truly funnily primal about blowing our own ass-trumpets

03-31-2014, 12:37 PM
heh Solar, that sounds like you conducted a colonic symphony

03-31-2014, 05:26 PM
Unless you can can change keys at least three times, you're out of the rumbling.
[/Cos ref]

03-31-2014, 06:42 PM
"Speak up Brown, you're through!"

Ironclad Alibi
03-31-2014, 09:23 PM
Unless you can can change keys at least three times, you're out of the rumbling.
[/Cos ref]

Are you recalling the feats* of Le Pétomane (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane)?

*Or should that be farts?

04-01-2014, 02:53 AM
GreaseMonkey, sounds like you might be Mr Methane (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCpPEnwQe3Q)! :)

04-01-2014, 12:05 PM
I'm surprised nobody has used the :fart: smilie yet...

04-02-2014, 09:57 AM
My ex did something like that when we went to the midnight screening of Star Wars, episode 3. The lights went down, all went deadly silent in a packed out auditorium right before the opening crawl, and what does he do? "BARRRRP!"

He managed to keep a straight face, but I was in tears trying to hold back the laughter. Everyone around us either giggled or sounded thoroughly disgusted. And worse still, they all thought it was me!

Irving Patrick Freleigh
04-03-2014, 02:26 AM
Years ago we were at Jewel Cave in South Dakota on a family vacation and we took a tour.

Here we are, my mom, my dad, my sister and myself, in a big room of the cave as the park ranger is giving a talk. He pauses, and then all of a sudden there's this really big FRRRRRRTTTT!

First thins I do is turn to my mom and whisper "That wasn't me." There were a couple nice looking girls my age next to us. And over in the corner of the room here's my dad, with a placid half-smile on his face, looking guilty as hell.

I have no proof my dad was the one dropping ass in the cave, but it's a family joke now.

04-07-2014, 06:36 PM
Farts: the lonely cry of an imprisoned turd.

And I'm so glad someone else knew the Cosby quotes. The barking couch spider is a new one for me, tho, and I'll need to make sure to tell hubby. He needs fresh excuses; his old ones stink.