View Full Version : Personal space violator finally gets told off

03-06-2015, 06:02 PM
This tale of what happened today is way lengthier and more detailed than necessary considering the whole ordeal was over in less than 30 seconds. It was just such an enjoyable moment to witness so I felt like getting it all down.

There is a convenience store down the street that I find myself needing to pop by at least three times a week. Usually it is on my way to work if I need an energy drink or to fill up my car.

In all my years going there I've noticed another regular customer. He seems to stop by every single day for a $1 soda refill. He's one of those people that feels the absolute need to stand as close as humanly possible to people in line. I'm talking close enough so that if you were to lean back ever so slightly then the back of your head would bump against his nose. I mostly wear collared shirts or jackets but there have been times when I've worn t-shirts and have actually felt his breath on the back of my neck, he stands that close.

I put together this highly professional and artistic rendition

No amount of turning around and shooting him dirty looks seems to get the hint across.
He seems to be in so much of a rush that if you scoot forward even just a few centimeters he'll do the same thing. He's like a parasite that latches on to the unfortunate souls who have the audacity to come before him in line.

It doesn't end there. When the person in front of him is being helped and he is the next in line he actually has the nerve to go to the counter with them. There he'll place his soda next to their belongings on the counter, stand uncomfortably close to them, cross his arms with dollar in hand, and stare directly at them throughout the duration of their transaction.


Judging by the suits her wears, the fancy car he drives, and the way he presents himself I'm guessing he makes a lot of money. Not to generalize all wealthy people as being condescending but he does seem to view "normal" people as beneath him as if we are peasants.

I think one of the most frustrating part of this is that the store has a LOT of regulars who come in for $1 soda or coffee refills. The cashiers have been there for years and are good at remembering faces so they don't have a problem with people just handing a dollar bill over the register on their way out with a friendly nod of acknowledgment. No standing in line necessary. This guy has seen people do that and could save a lot of apparent inconvenience by doing so but he chooses to stand in line and make people uncomfortable.

This morning I had to stop by and it looks like he stood next to the wrong guy.

SC = grumpy soda man
MH = my hero
E = employee

It was MH's turn so he went up to the counter. He was purchasing a coffee. Like always, SC went up and did his usual routine.

E: Anything else today?
MH: Uhh yes actually, can I please have two packs of Marlboro Reds, uhh, one of the genie scratchers, and $15 on pump 4.
SC: [audible dramatic sigh]
MH: [looks over at MH then faces forward]
SC: [sigh]
MH: [looks over at MH again]
SC: [throws his hands up in the air palms-up and shrugs as if to imply he's waiting]
MH: Dude, you are standing way too close to me right now. Back off.
SC: Well "dude" hurry up and decide what you want already.
MH: I know exactly what I want and right now you are pissing me off so I want you to go stand somewhere else.
SC: [mocking MH] "UHH, UHH, UHH, UHH"
MH: Man why are you even up here with me right now? What is your problem?
SC: SOME of us are busy people and you're taking 30 goddamn minutes to figure out what you want. You should know what you want before you get to the goddamn counter. This is a convenience store, not the garden department at K-Mart.
MH: What? Whatever man. You have some issues you need to work on.
SC: My issue is with people who take their sweet time when I have shit to do. Some of us have jobs to go to. [conveniently failing to notice that MH was clearly a painter on a break, judging by his paint-stained overalls and hat]

At that point the employee was back from fetching the cigarettes and he saw what was going on. SC already had his dollar in hand.

E: Here, I can take that dollar from you.
SC: THANK you. About time.
E: No problem. See you tomorrow.

SC stormed out much to relief of everyone else.

The cashier is a genuinely kind, polite person. I've never heard him say a bad thing about anything or anyone. Even when dealing with cranky customers he maintains a positive attitude and lets everything roll right off his back. On this occasion? The second the door shut he said "Man, that guy is a dick. I've been waiting for someone to finally say something to him"

I doubt this will change SC's ways but it was nice to see someone say something. I'll admit that sometimes in line I get annoyed if the person at the counter buys what I feel is an excessive amount of lottery tickets or scratchers because it can take up so much time. But berating someone for a few extra items that only take maybe 20 seconds tops for the cashier to retrieve?

On a side note, I'm still wondering what the garden department at K-Mart has to do with anything.

Slave to the Phone
03-06-2015, 10:33 PM
I love your very professional and artistic rendition. I hates people who crowd me, so sometimes I will say something. Other times, I'll step back and "accidently" step on their feet. (Pro-tip...if they are wearing sandals, go for the toes. Full shoes, go for the arch.) I've also been known to "accidently" swing my milk or beer around and hit them in the crotch area.

I always apologize profusely, "Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that you were that close." Looks around at the line..."Maybe you could have stood back a little more, its not that crowded here."

03-06-2015, 10:47 PM
In boot they called that nut-to-butt. As in: "Stand nut-to-but! We don't have much room and we need to get five other divisions in here!"

Outside of that if someone was standing that close to me, I probably would have claimed self-defense after I finished having my little flailing panic attack... :P

03-07-2015, 12:47 AM
There's no way that I'd let someone stand that close to me. That's kissing & cuddling distance & if you're not being intimate with me then back off...this aint "Days Of Our Lives"...lol.

03-07-2015, 02:10 AM
Guessing the garden dept crack was implying that there, you can take your time to look over the plants and other products and decide what you want, no matter how long it takes.

He was still a complete dick. The other guy knew what he wanted - he asked for it - it just took a moment for the cashier to get it. Big deal. Mr. Self-Important could buy himself a case of whatever he drinks and keep it at his workplace, then he wouldn't have to rub shoulders (and other parts, however unintentionally) with the peasants. But that would mean he couldn't swan in and show off his pricey suit, pricey car and asshole attitude.

03-07-2015, 03:08 AM
I would have refused to use my debit until he stepped back for "security"

03-07-2015, 03:22 AM
Oh, this would be the perfect setting for me to have one of my spasms, where my hand flails out at nose level at unexpected times.

03-07-2015, 06:57 AM
I don't glare. I respond with, "Dude, if you're going to grope me, do it so I can yell sexual assault, otherwise, back the hell off." Mom taught me not to put up with that kind of behavior and to make it as uncomfortable for the dickhead as possible. The best way to do it is to call as much attention to 'em as possible ;)

03-07-2015, 11:25 AM
I always seem to get the impatient space invaders behind me. I've even had them pushing me from behind with their bodies, as if they are a human bulldozer. I've been hit by handbags, prodded by hands, breathed over, swore at... the whole lot. Why me? It always happens to me.

03-07-2015, 05:24 PM
I think that, if I were in the same situation, I'd gently push my rear end out a little so that it started touching him, turn, and wink.

I'm a happily married, straight man, BTW, but to see how uncomfortable that would make him would be priceless.

03-07-2015, 08:39 PM
When people get that close to me, I usually accidentally step back, or turn sideways to look at something, and bump into them.

Sorry, it was an accident. :devil:

03-07-2015, 10:40 PM
I always seem to get the impatient space invaders behind me. I've even had them pushing me from behind with their bodies, as if they are a human bulldozer. I've been hit by handbags, prodded by hands, breathed over, swore at... the whole lot. Why me? It always happens to me.

I had some old bat catch me right in the ass with the corner of her old lady purse one time. It was a bad day to do that as the day before, the balloon I was in had fallen out of the sky and I had a huge, painful bruise back there. She got it dead center and then got all offended when I yelped and jumped. It actually was unintentional, but damn.

When people get that close to me, I usually accidentally step back, or turn sideways to look at something, and bump into them.

Sorry, it was an accident. :devil:

Glad I'm not the only one who does that...

03-07-2015, 11:58 PM
I guess we're fairly standoffish (wow is that a word?) here, and I very rarely have to deal with this. Sometimes if I feel someone move too close I assume they are going to talk to me and look at them expectantly. You'd be amazed at how uncomfortable people get at mere eye-contact. This clearly wouldn't work with the guy in the OP. He will probably do this to the wrong person and get a smackdown.

Lace Neil Singer
03-08-2015, 05:15 PM
I do the stepping backwards thing, too. My pet peeve is people who stand too close to me at an atm. Once a bloke did that, I asked him to move and he wouldn't, so I stepped backwards and the metal heel of my New Rock boot landed right on his big toe. :lol: He kept his distance after that.

03-08-2015, 08:08 PM
When people get that close to me, I usually accidentally step back, or turn sideways to look at something, and bump into them.

Sorry, it was an accident. :devil:

I've actually had a lady behind me in line at WM push her cart into my behind . . . first time I ignored it.

Second time, I looked around and gave her a WTF? look. She was too busy w/her phone convo, IIRC and ignored me.

She ignored it and a few moments later, I felt that cart into my behind again.

I shoved that cart backward w/my behind as hard as I could manage. Turned back around and smiled. "So sorry," I smiled. "I have an issue w/my personal space being invaded.":devil:

I must have had the look that reads "You are about to DIE" b/c she stammered a "Sorry" and backed her cart up quickly.

Another manuever: mutter out loud to yourself . . . I think that one works pretty decent as well. Makes people think you're not all there . . .:angel:

03-08-2015, 09:56 PM
generally, I haven't had to deal with people standing too close except on the train, and even then, it's only ever because the thing is absolutely packed and there's no choice. But considering I have trouble keeping still a the bets of times, someone pulling that shit on me is getting their foot trodden on several times, and/or elbows to the ribs, etc.

03-09-2015, 03:01 AM
When I worked at the smart pets store I had a manager that would cage you in to do an override. Once, he did it to me and I turned and yelled right in his face "back up!!!!!". Turns out, he was doing it to all the cashiers and the younger women were uncomfortable.

03-09-2015, 06:42 PM
I would have a very hard time not suddenly swinging my head backwards accidentally into his nose.

04-06-2015, 05:11 AM
My husband has GI issues that can clear a room. Anybody does that to him, Hubby will simply gas the idiot. Perhaps I could loan my human biological weapon to you?