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View Full Version : Extremely Rude Waitress Tonight


Greenday
03-09-2015, 01:44 AM
Friday was my birthday and one of my aunt's gave me a gift card to a very popular Italian chain restaurant (OG). I love their alfredo sauce and my wife loves one of their soups. So we went for a late dinner and there was no wait. I already knew what I was going to get and which wine I'd drink. I don't drink wine very often but I was pretty excited for a nice glass of Riesling. We get seated and order drinks. Waitress comes back and they are out of the Riesling which I asked for. Whatever, only a dollar more for the other one and it was good. We place our orders and as usual, I order salad that I plan on giving to my wife since I don't eat it.

The waitress comes back with soup and salad and notices I gave my plate to my wife. She gives me a plate and when I try to politely refuse, she insists that I try the salad. I try to explain I don't like salad at all but she tells me to try it or she'll take my wine away (jokingly). I grabbed a plain crouton and ate it but apparently that wasn't good enough. I had to eat a piece of lettuce with dressing on it. I should have just requested the manager on the spot but I didn't. Instead I just gave her a death stare and told her I wouldn't do it. I'm 27 years old and if my mom couldn't get me to do it in 27 years, no way she could. My wife wasn't helping things by encouraging me to try salad (I made sure to speak to her about that later).

The whole thing put me off. I barely touched my dinner after that. I've been in a bad mood the rest of the night. I've only left a super crappy tip once before but this was my second time and I definitely left her more than she deserved. I went online and filled out the survey from dinner and ripped her a new one. Requested someone email me back about it.

I've never been so pissed off before because of a dinner at a restaurant.

KatherineB
03-09-2015, 06:26 AM
I don't blame you in the slightest for feeling that way! What an idiot that waitress was! I don't usually encourage the 'allergies' card but I might have been tempted to play it on that occasion, just to get rid of her.

pitmonkey
03-09-2015, 07:34 AM
My hubby is a super taster and she would have had a mess to clean up after he rejected the salad.

Bright_Star
03-09-2015, 09:42 AM
I would have demanded a manager & then then have gone somewhere else.

Evannah
03-09-2015, 04:04 PM
I wouldn't have tipped her at all. What she did was totally out of line. She treated you like a kid. I mean, forcing you to try your wife's meal? Who DOES that? And joking or not, threatening to take your wine away is really really stupid and rude.

Monterey Jack
03-09-2015, 07:32 PM
That waitress was being ridiculously rude...I would have not only not tipped her, but I would have complained directly to the management.

mathnerd
03-09-2015, 08:03 PM
I don't blame you in the slightest for feeling that way! What an idiot that waitress was! I don't usually encourage the 'allergies' card but I might have been tempted to play it on that occasion, just to get rid of her.


Please, please, please, please don't ever claim an allergy if you don't have one. It makes it really difficult for those of us who do have allergies to safely eat out.

Instead, use your words:

"<Waitress>, you are being extremely inappropriate. Please go get your manager so we can arrange to have a different person wait on me, as I no longer feel I can have a pleasant evening with you as our server, based on your actions."


It's polite, honest, and drives the point home in a way she'll never forget.

Irving Patrick Freleigh
03-09-2015, 08:58 PM
I personally would've tolerated trying the salad (I too prefer my salads sans dressing), but she's there to be my waitress, not my mom.

And honestly, what she did is just plain bizarre to me.

pudddykat
03-09-2015, 10:38 PM
Rule 1: NEVER comment on someone's food choices or try to force your opinion of such on them. I was force fed potato salad around 2/3 years old and have never been able to go near it since. I also battled an eating disorder. You never know what people have been through or what their reasons are and NO ONE has the right to pass judgment. Even what someone may consider a harmless comment may, in fact, do great harm. Talk about an idiot, what was she thinking?! I am glad you were able to open a dialog with your wife regarding your feelings about that evening. I also agree with mathnerd about claiming allergies.

MoonCat
03-10-2015, 01:14 AM
What pudddykat said. ^^

Honestly, did this woman think you'd never eaten lettuce before? Once the food is on the table, it's none of her business who eats what. What a twit.

Aragarthiel
03-10-2015, 03:14 PM
Rule 1: NEVER comment on someone's food choices or try to force your opinion of such on them.

I wish everyone listened to this. I have a hard time eating veggies and any kind of meat that isn't ground or bacon because my aunt and uncle had to force-feed me as a kid when I didn't want to eat what they put in front of me, whether because I was full or just didn't like it. It's turned me into a resistant eater (on top of being a supertaster), which means I gag at pretty much the thought of eating something in the groups I don't eat, and it requires therapy we can't afford to fix. But the point is, even though I can tolerate salads with enough dressing, the idea of ANYONE forcing me to eat something would make me break down and cry. That waitress was horribly wrong and I believe she deserves to be AT LEAST strongly reprimanded for this, and possibly fired.

raudf
03-10-2015, 08:57 PM
That waitress had no right to demand you try the salad. Frankly, I'd have asked for a manager and let them know what stunt the waitress pulled, harassing you into "trying" something you already knew you didn't like. And that's exactly what she was doing, harassing you. What you eat at a restaurant is your choice, not hers.

All I ever ask of my kids is to at least try something once. After that, I don't push it, because I've had peas, peaches, and grits forced on me as a kid and now I can't eat any of the three.

notalwaysright
03-10-2015, 09:28 PM
That's just the most... Horrible... Just sucky. And stupid! She won't get any tips that way. My mom never made me eat things. I wanted to try everything! Of course I had things I didn't like, but nobody ever made a big deal about it. For example, I didn't care for steamed veggies, so my mom left some out raw for me. I do remember absolutely hating to eat dinner at a certain friend's house. Her mom made you eat everything on your plate, and she served you. I was totally miserable, which I think is the way most people feel when forced to do something...

mathnerd
03-10-2015, 10:27 PM
I do make my kids try small amounts of new foods a couple times over the course of a couple months or years (tastes do change over time) before they are allowed to declare them unliked. By a small amount, I mean a half a bite or so. But these are kids who sometimes reject stuff just because it's new only to find out they really do like it after they've tried it. If they try it and hate it, then they are allowed to politely decline it in the future. There's a vast difference between that and some stranger trying to force a full grown adult into eating something he doesn't like.

registerrodeo
03-11-2015, 12:59 AM
I would have gotten up and found a manager myself so she didn't have a chance to spind it in her favor with them. That was so inconsiderate! I don't mind the wait staff suggesting something as I am ordering, but to MAKE me eat something? Oh hell no!

Totiono
03-11-2015, 01:55 AM
What on earth. From the sounds of it she might've thought she was being funny but she took it way too far. A little bit of harmless egging on is all fine and dandy but no means no and she should've respected that. Her main priority should be serving you, not feeding you. Forcing you to eat something you clearly did not want to eat is highly unprofessional.

pudddykat
03-11-2015, 07:13 PM
I just had to pop back in to say you guys are great. I totally agree with the methods the moms on here use/used. I had been forced way too many times (the worst memory is 2/3 years old and babysitter holding my nose to force me to eat potato salad) and it wasn't until I was an adult getting treated for my eating disorder that I realized the link. I love the encouragement and lack of judgement on this site. :)

Aragarthiel
03-11-2015, 07:43 PM
pudddykat, I agree with you completely. Parents shouldn't force their kids to eat ANYTHING they don't want to, unless it's a medical necessity. I don't force my 9-month old to finish what she doesn't like, usually I'll mix it with something to make it taste better, or if she still doesn't want it I'll tell her she has to finish what's already on her face because she hates having her face wiped and would rather eat it.

I'm sorry if I'm being ranty but this is a very sore issue with me, it's given me health problems and I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking she has to eat like Mommy.

:soapbox:

Ben_Who
03-14-2015, 12:31 AM
My parents never really forced me to eat anything I didn't want to, but for some reason, they were determined to stuff as many Brussels sprouts into my sister as they could manage.

It's a bewildering impulse, I think. They see it as a power struggle and won't let the kid "win," probably. Why was my sister forced to eat Brussels sprouts when I was not forced to eat anything? (I ate Brussels sprouts voluntarily.) My sister couldn't get up from the table until she'd eaten "at least three Brussels sprouts." Why? Is there no other food available that's high in iron? Did she have a beta-carotene deficiency? Was there a bean blight? I'm not exactly slim and trim now, but my sister is thirty years into an eating disorder that's robbed her of every shred of self-esteem she ever had.

Argus
03-15-2015, 08:47 PM
For example, I didn't care for steamed veggies, so my mom left some out raw for me.

For me, it was cooked carrots that I would push to the side of my plate, while raw carrots were among my five favorite foods. Other cooked veggies weren't a problem. My mom decided on the same approach as yours. Nowadays, I think raw carrots are simply in my top ten, and I no longer reject cooked carrots, and there are a few other preferences I seem to have outgrown.

notalwaysright
03-15-2015, 10:08 PM
For me, it was cooked carrots that I would push to the side of my plate, while raw carrots were among my five favorite foods. Other cooked veggies weren't a problem. My mom decided on the same approach as yours. Nowadays, I think raw carrots are simply in my top ten, and I no longer reject cooked carrots, and there are a few other preferences I seem to have outgrown.

I don't know about you, but texture is (mostly) what I have issues with. I found steamed veggies too mushy. Now if they are steamed well I like them, especially broccoli and cauliflower. As a kid I didn't like soda, because I didn't like the way the carbonation felt in my mouth and throat. Even now runny eggs make me nauseous, but over-hard or scrambled is totally fine. So yeah, taste is important, but if the texture is wrong then it's ruined. At least for me.

Argus
03-15-2015, 11:18 PM
I don't know about you, but texture is (mostly) what I have issues with.

It's mostly texture for me as well. That was the case for cooked carrots, and it's still the case for mushrooms (like chewing a rubber band). My mom understood that, because she liked peanuts and disliked peanut butter simply over the texture.

Seanette
03-16-2015, 09:06 AM
I have some texture issues myself. Can't deal with soggy bread/pastry or ground beef that isn't well-done.

I second the hate for canned peas. Love fresh or frozen, despise canned with the weird taste and texture. I'm fine with other canned vegetables, just not peas.

greek_jester
03-17-2015, 09:29 AM
I don't know about you, but texture is (mostly) what I have issues with. I found steamed veggies too mushy. Now if they are steamed well I like them, especially broccoli and cauliflower. As a kid I didn't like soda, because I didn't like the way the carbonation felt in my mouth and throat. Even now runny eggs make me nauseous, but over-hard or scrambled is totally fine. So yeah, taste is important, but if the texture is wrong then it's ruined. At least for me.
This, exactly. I have this weird thing where if I bite into a mushroom I spend the next ten minutes trying to keep my meal from reappearing. My family have learned to mince mushrooms if I'm coming round for dinner. The really annoying thing is I adore the taste, just biting into one sends my stomach into a tailspin. :(

Employee28567
03-17-2015, 11:19 AM
I think it is entirely possible that she thought she was flirting with you. She thought you were hot.

And of course, that's not acceptable.

Lace Neil Singer
03-17-2015, 11:50 AM
About the only rules at meals in my family were:

1. Try something before you say you don't like it.
2. Eat something from the meal or starve cuz mum isn't going to cook two meals.
3. If you don't finish your dinner, you're not hungry enough for pudding.

Might sound mean, but while my mum encouraged me and my brothers to take more if we were still hungry, she didn't like us to load our plates then leave it cuz it was wasting food. So anyone who loaded their plate, messed it about and then left it would not get pudding. We all had very wide ranges of tastes as children; about the only things I won't eat as an adult are mushrooms and spinach. My mum used to tell me to leave mushrooms on the side of my plate; they didn't stay there long, as my brothers loved mushrooms and used to take them. XD

bhskittykatt
03-17-2015, 01:20 PM
I don't mind a little banter from my wait person, but she took it too far. She should have just let it go.

And force-feeding I swear just makes you hate food later on. My husband doesn't like spicy food because as a kid, his dad used to cover his thumb in hot sauce and keep it shoved in his mouth in order to get him to stop sucking his thumb. (Though since he started to live with me, he's starting to learn to like spicier food.)

A former CW couldn't stand mushrooms because as a kid, she ate some and threw them up, and was then forced by her uncle to eat the vomited mushrooms. :eek:

Only thing I was ever force-fed was pudding with whipped cream, and to this day I can (sometimes) do pudding, I can do whipped cream, but I absolutely can't do the combination of the two. I had gotten my tonsils removed and wasn't feeling up for eating anything, and my mom was making jello and pudding and all sorts of what were certainly awesome snacks but I wasn't eating. She tried to force me to eat the pudding/whipped cream sundae. She ended up on the phone with the doctor in tears because I wouldn't eat anything and I felt bad 'cause I was making her cry. Fortunately that's the only time my parents ever tried to force me to eat anything, and at least they had a pretty good reason for it.

mathnerd
03-17-2015, 03:50 PM
This, exactly. I have this weird thing where if I bite into a mushroom I spend the next ten minutes trying to keep my meal from reappearing. My family have learned to mince mushrooms if I'm coming round for dinner. The really annoying thing is I adore the taste, just biting into one sends my stomach into a tailspin. :(

I have a kid with the same issue. A friend taught me how to make a mushroom paste to get around it. It's super easy. Just take a bunch of mushrooms, slice them and sauté them in butter. If you'd like, you can also add diced onions and garlic (or any other seasonings such as salt, pepper whatever). Cook them until they're extremely mushy, then transfer them to a food processor or blender. Process until the mixture is at a pasty consistency, but without any solid chunks left. When a recipe calls for mushrooms, use an appropriate amount of the paste to impart the flavor desired.

Aragarthiel
03-17-2015, 04:33 PM
I can't stand the texture of steaks or pork. Pork always tastes rubbery to me (unless it's super-crispy bacon, then I love it). Steaks always feel like I'm eating a big ball of cloth, full of fibers and really dry.

Tama
03-17-2015, 05:15 PM
If that's what your steaks taste like you are not getting good properly cooked steak. It's not supposed to be dry

Aragarthiel
03-17-2015, 05:43 PM
It can be juicy but it's like someone soaked a washcloth, and it doesn't help any. My tongue focuses on the fibers, it's just the way it is.

notalwaysright
03-17-2015, 06:29 PM
If that's what your steaks taste like you are not getting good properly cooked steak. It's not supposed to be dry

Omg, I don't really care for steaks or chops or anything like that. I have only once in my life had a properly cooked steak. I was at a friends, and they kept saying that it was really good and I should try it. I did because it was just one bite, and I don't hate it that much, I just think it's chewy and dry. Anyways, it was SO GOOD. Apparently it was a very good cut, and cooked nicely. But I will never order it at a restaurant because why bother? I actually feel the same way about grilled chicken. Dryyyyyyyy. Boy, it makes me sound picky, but I swear I'm not.

Aragarthiel
03-17-2015, 07:08 PM
I actually feel the same way about grilled chicken.

I forgot about grilled chicken! It reminds me of the sole of a shoe, or maybe a flip-flop.

BeeMused
03-18-2015, 06:20 PM
And how do you feel about tomatoes, aspargus, cheese, esp. parmesan? Perhaps you two can't taste umami.

Aragarthiel
03-18-2015, 06:38 PM
Hate tomatoes (except in sauces) but I love cheeses.

notalwaysright
03-18-2015, 09:01 PM
And how do you feel about tomatoes, aspargus, cheese, esp. parmesan? Perhaps you two can't taste umami.

I also don't like tomatoes, unless in relatively smooth sauce. I like asparagus, really like cheese including Parmesan. I think I can taste umami, based on a quick search. I like soy sauce, green tea, celery, spinach, fresh fish.

BeeMused
03-19-2015, 05:26 PM
I was just wondering, the main taste in meat is umami after all.

I too hate raw tomatoes, the taste and the texture... *full body shudder* Soup and sauce are fine.

Irving Patrick Freleigh
03-19-2015, 08:39 PM
Another raw tomato hater here. They taste a lot like green peppers, which is fine, but they're mushy and their flavor dominates the rest of the dish. I do like a lot of tomato-based stuff though.

The one year I grew tomatoes, I used some in a pot of chili and gave away the rest.

dalesys
03-19-2015, 08:48 PM
The one year I grew tomatoes ...i and gave away the rest.
At high velocity...:angel:

BeeMused
03-19-2015, 09:07 PM
Heh! We seem to need a group: Tomatoes Haters United or something :lol:

Seanette
03-19-2015, 10:32 PM
I don't much care for tomatoes in solid state, but sauce and such are fine. Loathe bell pepper.

mathnerd
03-19-2015, 11:43 PM
I'm the opposite. I actually love tomatoes, but can't eat them, as they try to kill me.

raudf
03-20-2015, 02:28 AM
I love fried green tomatoes and am okay with tomatoes as soup or sauce or cooked. I don't much care for them raw. I prefer my carrots raw, but if they are cooked, it better be in a soup or stew, because otherwise, I just don't like 'em.

I also don't care much for jello or 7up/Sprite, thanks to being sick all the time as a kid. Mom didn't force me to eat it, but it was all I could eat for a while there. (Kidney infections suck.)

Texturally, I don't like shrimp. Just chews like rubber (and this is coming from someone who loves gum!) and tastes bleh to me. Confounded my parents since they both love shrimp.

Lace Neil Singer
03-21-2015, 01:14 PM
I wouldn't eat sweetcorn as a child cuz it reminded me of teeth. I'll eat it now, tho.

Aragarthiel
03-21-2015, 05:46 PM
My husband and I both swear that SPAM is dog food, and I can't eat mushrooms because I keep remembering that fungi grow on feet, too.