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NecessaryCatharsis
05-18-2015, 06:53 PM
Just got back from long weekend camping. Had a really nice time, quiet, caught no fish, had 80% good weather, taught the kidlet how to take a fish hook out of his arm with pliers, good times. For the first time in more than a decade we went to a campground (usually I go back country) because there was a work thing going on I needed phone service for the weekend. It made me remember why I don't go to campgrounds, and made me grateful for all the people who will sacrifice themselves come the apocalypse, providing a better chance to the rest of us.


Don't call the park workers to come set up your tent because you don't know how
Don't feed the bears
Don't wander off with a 3' high bonfire going on in your campsite
Don't leave your garbage out on the picnic table all night while you are in your tent (don't feed the bears)
Don't set up your tent under that tree that's at a 45, with severe splintering on the off side
Why do people keep feeding the bears?
Don't clean fish in your campsite and leave the guts on the ground (don't feed the bears)
Don't call the park workers to come start a fire for you because you don't know how
Ditto your outdoor stove
Seriously, why do you keep feeding those bears?


These are people who intentionally went camping, yet you get the feeling that a good 60% would just die in 2 weeks if the power ever went off for good. Other than the witnessed stupidity at least most of the people were friendly, and I only saw one quasi-argument that looked like it could have gotten serious. I could never work at a park, I would tell so many people off the first day alone :D

Jay 2K Winger
05-18-2015, 08:11 PM
There's a new #1 threat to America-- PEOPLE WHO FEED BEARS

NecessaryCatharsis
05-18-2015, 08:33 PM
Yeah, personal pet peeve I admit. Still, not an overly intelligent thing to do.

notalwaysright
05-18-2015, 08:45 PM
I remember being a teenager, maybe 14 camping with a large group. This was some kind of non-attended place. It may have just been some abandoned logging trail, who knows. Anyway, we're camping in trailers and such, and this full grown woman comes out of hers and asks me for help lighting her stove. I go in and she had left in on "light," so the gas had been running for a while! The trailer reeked and I was like, "just leave the door open and get out." I tried to explain the concept of gas and explosions, but she shrugged it off. Oh, and it was a spiffy stove that had the button clicky thing (that's the technical term) so you didn't even need to have a match. (though normally you have to push the dial for the gas to release, this one didn't seem to have that)

Beets, bears, Battlestar Galactica. People who feed bears, intentional or otherwise, are really stupid, and I have trouble feeling bad for them when their actions lead to inevitable consequences.

Monterey Jack
05-18-2015, 09:38 PM
"I'm cold, and there are wolves after me." [distant howl]

dalesys
05-18-2015, 11:33 PM
There's a new #1 threat to the world-- PEOPLE WHO FEED BEARS ...
Anything other than themselves!

MoonCat
05-19-2015, 02:17 AM
Ugh, idiots. We visited a park in another county once (Panama Rocks, look it up, it's cool) and my sister and I were hanging out in the parking lot waiting for our friends to get back from their last hike. Meanwhile some total idiots, who had a huge campfire going, packed up their truck, climbed in and drove away - leaving the fire, and a campsite full of empty beer bottles. As far as we could tell, they left for good, since they took all of their stuff except the empties. So our group had to put the fire out. We couldn't believe how stupid that was.

raudf
05-19-2015, 02:29 AM
When I was a kid, we'd put out other people's fires when they packed up and left. Bucket of water, shovel, and patience. We had to make sure every hot spot was doused to prevent forest fires and stupid people from getting hurt. (That was something that happened. Idiot thought the fire was dead, just because they didn't SEE any embers. Stirred it with hand and learned the hard way!)

Mr Hero
05-19-2015, 08:21 AM
There's a new #1 threat to America-- PEOPLE WHO FEED BEARS

I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.

"I'm cold, and there are wolves after me." [distant howl]

Damnit, I was going to post the same thing!

WishfulSpirit
05-19-2015, 02:43 PM
I grew up camping in Rocky Mountain National Park. Granted there was quite a bit of space between camp grounds, but I never saw anything like this. Maybe coloradoans are just more outdoorsy and get taught how to do things? Or maybe the public service announcements about forest fires are paid more attention to here since everyone knows someone who lost their house in a fire?

wheeitsmee
05-19-2015, 05:31 PM
The problem with feeding the bears isn't that they want to hurt you, it's that they get too comfortable with humans and if they can't be re-located they get euthanized. :cry:

Because when a bear moves you to one side so that they can get that bacon they smell, part of your insides might inadvertently end up outside.

Jay 2K Winger
05-19-2015, 06:03 PM
I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.

Well that's just great. You hear that, Ed? BEARS. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.

Gilhelmi
05-20-2015, 11:06 AM
I went on a Boy Scout trip to Canada once when I was 14.

We had "Bear Bags", to hang from trees. Because if the Bears ate our food, help was 3 days by (boat with paddles, forgot how to spell). Also, bears can be dangourous, if the previous person feeds the bears but you won't let them steal your food. Or if you are wearing tasty smelling deodorant, or toothpaste (these were not allowed by either "High Adventure" camp I went to).

Minflick
05-21-2015, 05:46 PM
My mother went backpacking by Hetch Hetchy one time. On a lunch break, a bear ambled up, and it ate her lunch, all of her unprepared food (dry powders, meats, veg of various kind), her toothpaste, and left only her clothing and her brillo pad. Brillo pads, for those who don't recall them, or never heard of them, are small steel wool pads with a cleaning/scouring paste in embedded in them. The bear got everything else, and shredded her backpack getting out the unprepared food. Mom was unhurt, but the trip was OVER. Lucky for her, she was on her first day, and just turned around and hiked back out to her car and came home.

VComps
05-21-2015, 06:49 PM
I went on a Boy Scout trip to Canada once when I was 14. We had "Bear Bags", to hang from trees. Because if the Bears ate our food, help was 3 days by (boat with paddles, forgot how to spell). Also, bears can be dangourous, if the previous person feeds the bears but you won't let them steal your food. Or if you are wearing tasty smelling deodorant, or toothpaste (these were not allowed by either "High Adventure" camp I went to).

Canoe, kayak, rowboat. Pick all that apply. :)

wolfie
05-21-2015, 07:40 PM
My money's on "Kayak", due to the "forgot how to spell" bit. Gilhelmi, when the boat in question is being operated by one person, do they use 2 separate "paddles" (actually "oars" - rowboat), one paddle with a blade (goes in the water) at one end and a knob (hand grip) at the other (canoe), or one paddle with a blade at each end (kayak)?

TheSHAD0W
05-21-2015, 10:26 PM
I noticed no one answered the question in the topic...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvQKH1O4Hkw

:D

Chromatix
05-22-2015, 01:22 PM
"Kayak" is actually pretty easy to spell, if you approach it phonetically. "Canoe" not so much.

bbbr
05-23-2015, 10:38 PM
Every year my 2 young nephews spend a week at my parents cabin in the Adirondack State Park, where, there are bears a plenty. One day the younger one came to realize something after seeing some good sized tracks in the driveway and told my parents that "Bears eat meat. I'M MEAT!!!!". He spent the rest of the week playing in the basement, would NOT leave the house on his own for anything unless fully escorted by everyone present.

greensinestro
05-24-2015, 02:39 PM
There's a new #1 threat to America-- PEOPLE WHO FEED BEARS

And unfortunately, people in states like Florida, Georgia, and Louisiana who feed the alligators.

draggar
05-25-2015, 02:13 PM
The only rule I would change is don't feed ANY wildlife. More "unprovoked" attacks happen with habituated animals.

But yeah, if you are going to enjoy the outdoors (and I do recommend everyone do this!) at least be prepared for THE OUTDOORS and know how to take care of yourself.

Gilhelmi
06-01-2015, 05:02 AM
Canoe, kayak, rowboat. Pick all that apply. :)

Sadly, canoe is the right answer. (why is there no 'u' in there? 10min on google trying to spell check did me no good)

HawaiianShirts
06-01-2015, 01:22 PM
(That was something that happened. Idiot thought the fire was dead, just because they didn't SEE any embers. Stirred it with hand and learned the hard way!)

:eek: Yeouch! My dad once tried to teach me a technique of burying the embers in such a way that they were still hot several hours later so that it was easier to start another fire, but it didn't stick in my head. What did stick was the concept that embers can stay hot for a very long time, which means that "never" is usually the right time to stick one's hand in the fire pit.


Don't call the park workers to come set up your tent because you don't know how
Don't call the park workers to come start a fire for you because you don't know how
Ditto your outdoor stove


Seriously? I have a hard enough time getting the attention of the camp host or park staff when all I want is to buy firewood. I'm guessing you witnessed at least some portion of the, "Hey, you work here! Come set up my tent for me!" thing. How did the park staff react?

Blue Ginger
06-02-2015, 12:27 PM
My family love the people who buy the really expensive, overly complicated tents that have never camped before.

If they clearly have no idea and ask for help nicely, we help them. Or we just offer them a hand and help them out.

But if they act like a bunch of toss pots, we pull out the chairs, crack open a few drinks and point and laugh. :devil:

Have watched 5 people struggle to put up 3 mid-sized (4 people squished size) dome tents for nearly 2 hours. They were the one's that had 3 flexible bars and 2 layers of tent. :roll:

It takes me 5-10 minutes to put up a 2-person version of this tent. 5 if the ground is soft, 10 if I actually have to hammer in all the pegs instead of using my foot. Won a lot of free drinks racing a number of other people on a Topdeck trip years ago. And I was doing it on my own, they were in pairs. :D

NecessaryCatharsis
06-04-2015, 12:39 AM
Seriously? I have a hard enough time getting the attention of the camp host or park staff when all I want is to buy firewood. I'm guessing you witnessed at least some portion of the, "Hey, you work here! Come set up my tent for me!" thing. How did the park staff react?

The tent request was by a gaggle of giggling G-string clad girls who were 20 years old tops. They flagged down a passing employee in his truck, and loudly threw themselves on the mercy he showed no signs of possessing. Their neighbours (a group of about 25 year old males) overheard and came to the rescue, so I guess that ended ok.

The fire request was met with complete disdain, and I got to hear the whole thing as the couple was in the adjacent site. First the wife phoned the office and requested someone come 'at 6 to start the fire'. Apparently she didn't like the answer she got because she started yelling that they had bought firewood there, and they expected a fire. The husband decided to start it himself, by holding 1 lit match at a time to the firewood they had purchased. Logs, a foot long with an eight inch diameter. He had apparently not heard of purchasing kindling/shaving and splitting his own logs down to smaller sizes/collecting twigs and things of the floor of the campsite to start a small fire and feed it until it got big enough to burn. When that failed he called staff to explain that there was a problem with the fire pit. When the staff showed up to find no problems with the fire pit and extreme problems with the people camping beside it he very nicely told them to go stuff it.

The people requesting someone come look at the camp stove I was walking past as they were talking to an employee in a park owned truck, so I have no idea how that worked out.

I know the staff there are always happy to help, but that's with things like, where are there trail maps, and from whom can I rent a boat. Camping is kind of famous for it's do it yourself philosophy.

dalesys
06-04-2015, 01:17 AM
Lots of chocolate helps when being eaten by bares...

Ironclad Alibi
06-04-2015, 03:30 AM
Lots of chocolate helps when being eaten by bares...

Been reading Harry Potter?

XCashier
06-04-2015, 04:36 PM
The only rule I would change is don't feed ANY wildlife.
Yes x 1000! Wild animals are just that: wild. This isn't Disneyland with its cute cartoon characters, or a movie set with tamed animals, this is the wilderness with genuine wild animals. Don't feed / pester / pose for photos with the wild animals. They will end you.

That big, shaggy, slow moving wild bison in Yellowstone park? Is a two thousand-pound animal with sharp horns that it will gore you with if you're stupid towards it. That cuddly-looking cub? Mama is nearby, and will be pissed at you for harassing her baby. All wild creatures have either fangs, horns, hooves, claws, stingers, venom, barbs or any combination thereof, they are very formidable weapons and the animals know well how to use them. Don't mess with them.

Jay 2K Winger
06-04-2015, 06:12 PM
Yes x 1000! Wild animals are just that: wild. This isn't Disneyland with its cute cartoon characters, or a movie set with tamed animals, this is the wilderness with genuine wild animals. Don't feed / pester / pose for photos with the wild animals. They will end you.

That big, shaggy, slow moving wild bison in Yellowstone park? Is a two thousand-pound animal with sharp horns that it will gore you with if you're stupid towards it. That cuddly-looking cub? Mama is nearby, and will be pissed at you for harassing her baby. All wild creatures have either fangs, horns, hooves, claws, stingers, venom, barbs or any combination thereof, they are very formidable weapons and the animals know well how to use them. Don't mess with them.

This article (http://www.cracked.com/article_15853_the-6-cutest-animals-that-can-still-destroy-you.html) (Warning: Contains Cracked) should be mandatory reading, to remind idiots that animals may look cute, but they can still @#$% you up.

Blue Ginger
06-05-2015, 02:46 AM
All wild creatures have either fangs, horns, hooves, claws, stingers, venom, barbs or any combination thereof, they are very formidable weapons and the animals know well how to use them. Don't mess with them.

I'm from Oz, so I know this well. :D

Not sure if I've told this before, but when I was about 6 or 7 (early 90's) I saw what happens when someone hugs a wombat. Now I think wombats are adorable, but I also know that they are not pets and they are built like a mini bulldozer with claws.

So parents took us to a wildlife rescue/park where if the animals can be released they are or they are in big open enclosures where you can wander through and interact with them. Big signs in multiple languages saying don't pick them up or chase them. Staff telling you the same thing as you get tickets and enter the park.

We are looking at the animals when a bus load of Japanese (I think) tourists arrive. As soon as they are in the area, one lady starts making a high pitched noise that roughly translates to 'Ohhh so cute' and picks up and hugs a wombat. 2 seconds later the 'Ohhh so cute' noises turn to 'AAARRRGGGHHHHH get it off me!' noises. Cue staff running from everywhere, the rest of the bus load freaking out and most of us in shock.

My parents moved us to another part of the park but not before I saw her arms and legs covered in blood. Don't know how badly she was hurt, but we heard the ambulance not long after.

And that, folks, is why you don't hug the freaking wildlife.

wolfie
06-05-2015, 03:17 AM
Not sure if I've told this before, but when I was about 6 or 7 (early 90's) I saw what happens when someone hugs a wombat.

It eats, roots, and leaves?:devil:

Seshat
06-06-2015, 05:08 AM
I once had the privilege of watching a (wild) wombat wandering along one of the pathways in a national park. No, I wasn't stupid enough to try to touch it, much less hug it! I - and my friends - simply stayed put and watched it until it went into the bushes and out of our sight again.


However, I HAVE petted a wombat!
Wild animal rehabilitation centre, partly funded by doing tours of the centre. The wombat in question was never going to be safe to return to the wild (I don't remember why, some sort of medical issue). It had become tame (not domestic, just tame), and friendly to humans as long as one of its handlers was nearby.
I consider it quite a privilege to have been allowed to touch it. For those of you who have touched kangaroos, wombat fur feels very similar. Perhaps a bit more bristly.

Now that I think about it, almost all my 'touch a wild animal' situations have been rehab animals who can't be returned to the wild.

HawaiianShirts
06-06-2015, 03:53 PM
First the wife phoned the office and requested someone come 'at 6 to start the fire'. Apparently she didn't like the answer she got because she started yelling that they had bought firewood there, and they expected a fire. The husband decided to start it himself, by holding 1 lit match at a time to the firewood they had purchased. Logs, a foot long with an eight inch diameter. He had apparently not heard of purchasing kindling/shaving and splitting his own logs down to smaller sizes/collecting twigs and things of the floor of the campsite to start a small fire and feed it until it got big enough to burn. When that failed he called staff to explain that there was a problem with the fire pit.

:doh: I should be astounded at this behavior, but I know better. What did they think the campsite was? Some fancy hotel that just didn't bother to build walls or ceiling? That's the only explanation I have, because it's clear they expected the park staff to come do all the work for them.

"Yes, we're in campsite #12, and we need someone to come light our fire and roast our hot dogs for us. We will also require another fire in the morning, around 7:30, and hot coffee. Oh, and will you please turn down the moon? It's too bright, and I can't sleep."

Monterey Jack
06-07-2015, 02:10 AM
How the fuck can anyone not know how to light a FIRE?! I knew how to do that when I was ten years old.

dalesys
06-07-2015, 02:25 AM
... how to light a FIRE?! I knew how to do that when I was ten years old.
And you have the absence of eyebrows to prove it.:wave:

notalwaysright
06-07-2015, 02:36 AM
How the fuck can anyone not know how to light a FIRE?! I knew how to do that when I was ten years old.

I recently had a conversation with a CW about fire. I mentioned the wood burning stove in the house I grew up in, and she said that the entire time she lived at home she was not allowed to "play with matches." And yes, that was until she moved out at age 18. She's thrilled she can now lite candles, and I fear for her apartment building...

Monterey Jack
06-07-2015, 03:40 AM
I'm not condoning playing with matches or anything, but I knew from the fireplace in my mother's house that you needed some crumpled-up balls of newspaper and some kindling before the logs would actually catch and start burning. It's common fucking sense. Who just holds a single match to a FULL-SIZED LOG and expects it to magically burst into flame?

XCashier
06-07-2015, 04:01 AM
I'm not condoning playing with matches or anything, but I knew from the fireplace in my mother's house that you needed some crumpled-up balls of newspaper and some kindling before the logs would actually catch and start burning. It's common fucking sense. Who just holds a single match to a FULL-SIZED LOG and expects it to magically burst into flame?
I learned that in Girl Scouts. It's entirely possible that the man had never been a Scout, or had a chimney, or any sort of experience with fire-making. So many folks who've never been camping think it's so easy, when they could benefit from a few classes (I believe most Parks and Recreation Departments offer them? Or you could ask a local Scout leader.)

But like so many other things in life nowadays, people like this just blunder ahead without any education or preparation, thinking they can figure it out as they go. No. It's not that easy.

It's been a long time...as in decades!...since I've been camping, and I know my skills are rusty. I think I'd like to take some classes, learn some campfire cooking and other survival skills. They're good things to know. :)

notalwaysright
06-07-2015, 04:28 AM
Well, I just used that expression because that's how she put it, I don't mean actual playing. She wasn't allowed to light a match, ever. I grew up starting the fire in our wood stove. I wasn't playing, and when I was younger I certainly wasn't unsupervised. It's just an example of someone who WOULD call to have their campfire lit.

This is reminding me of a clip of a guy getting bit by a wild (I think) horse. Anyone with a shred of intelligence would have known the horse was PISSED, but this guy just goes to pet it. It's a horse, right? They're nice and they let us ride them! This horse had its ears back, and it's eyes were showing lots of white, and it bites him.

XCashier
06-07-2015, 02:09 PM
This is reminding me of a clip of a guy getting bit by a wild (I think) horse. Anyone with a shred of intelligence would have known the horse was PISSED, but this guy just goes to pet it. It's a horse, right? They're nice and they let us ride them! This horse had its ears back, and it's eyes were showing lots of white, and it bites him.
I think you might find this story (http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showthread.php?t=7469) amusing. :)

raudf
06-07-2015, 06:49 PM
Best way to light a fire is to split the logs, build the cabin, and use cotton balls soaked in Vaseline along with the tender. Of course, we had to show the boys how to do it the "real" way using flint, but when it rained or was otherwise wet, the balls made a great starter flame.

We also had to teach the parents not to pour gasoline on the fire while trying to light it. Fire loves backtracking up a flow of gas and onto the dumb ass stupid enough to try it. I learned that at the age of 8 when my own father was being stupid. He only got minor burns since he dropped the bottle he was using.

Seshat
06-08-2015, 03:38 AM
My brother and I were taught burn treatment first. Then fire management, and only then how to start one ourselves.

Under supervision at first, with the fire management and so forth. And yes, burn treatment at a young age consisted of 'put the burned area under a running tap and scream for a parent'. ;)

NecessaryCatharsis
06-08-2015, 03:46 AM
I do, in theory, understand that there are people who don't understand how the great outdoors works. I don't understand people who go camping and don't understand how the great outdoors works. If you don't understand, by all means still go. Find out the basics first. There are books, videos, the internet, and if youre still not sure you can hire guides who will do as much or as little as you want, from packing for you, planning your trip, renting you gear, cooking your meals. You can even rent sleeping bags, tents and fishing kit around here.

I just find the levels of ignorance I witnessed a predictor for lifespan in case of an unfortunate future.

Aragarthiel
06-08-2015, 05:46 AM
I do, in theory, understand that there are people who don't understand how the great outdoors works.

I kinda don't. I never learned to build a fire, I lived in Arizona for most of my life and you don't really need fires there, and I've only been camping once. Easily one of my worst experiences. Splinters galore was the best of it, worst is a tie between either "becoming a woman" (NOT something you want to happen on an otherwise male trip) or finding deer parts strewn around our campsite. After that, I have no interest in anything involving camping.

Seshat
06-08-2015, 07:56 AM
I kinda don't. I never learned to build a fire, I lived in Arizona for most of my life and you don't really need fires there, and I've only been camping once.

Until I moved to Victoria (Australia), I'd never needed a fire for warmth. I had, however, built plenty of fires for cooking: both barbeque (fire-style bbqs), and campfire.

My introduction to camping was a gentle progression from one-day trips to weekend trips through the Girl Guide movement: the short trips as a 'Brownie', the longer ones as a 'Guide'.

My parents rarely went camping, but in my very late teens/young adulthood, I camped with friends a few times. Most of us had been Girl Guides/Boy Scouts/something similar, so we could all manage to build a fire, had some sort of sleeping bag, and were young enough and silly enough to be willing to sleep with no air mattress or anything else for comfort.

WishfulSpirit
08-06-2015, 03:45 AM
Dunno about other places, but if rangers in RMNP here in Colorado were asked to set up a tent or start a fire, they'd laugh and tell the campers to go home.

wheeitsmee
08-06-2015, 04:23 PM
:doh: I should be astounded at this behavior, but I know better. What did they think the campsite was? Some fancy hotel that just didn't bother to build walls or ceiling? That's the only explanation I have, because it's clear they expected the park staff to come do all the work for them.

"Yes, we're in campsite #12, and we need someone to come light our fire and roast our hot dogs for us. We will also require another fire in the morning, around 7:30, and hot coffee. Oh, and will you please turn down the moon? It's too bright, and I can't sleep."

I used to live and work in Yosemite.

I remember one woman who was upset that we couldn't keep the coyotes from yipping all night.

One of my favorites was the guy who got bit feeding a squirrel. The next day he went up to the medical clinic to get treated...and found out he was told he was going to need a series of rabies shots. He went back to the hotel front desk and told them they needed to catch that particular squirrel so it could be tested... :roll:

Ben_Who
08-06-2015, 11:58 PM
I'm pretty lucky around here. I've seen about a dozen bears in the woods in various times of my life, and I've never seen one that wasn't either waaaaaay over there, or running away very fast.

These are Maine black bears, anyway, not grizzlies; they're a relatively timid breed, and if they're sensible, and they seemed to be, they're terrified of humans. That doesn't mean they're not opportunistic - they WILL find your food if you're careless with it. Leave it in your car with the window open a crack, and you'll have one hell of a story to tell the insurance company.

WishfulSpirit
08-07-2015, 12:36 PM
Grew up camping in Rocky Mountain National Park and the biggest / most dangerous animal I have ever seen in person is a bull elk. Hubby spotted a mountain lion once though.

Minflick
08-07-2015, 02:18 PM
My father loved to tell the tale of his and my mother's honeymoon at Yosemite in 1954. Neighboring campsite's car was broken into by a bear who saw the cooler sitting in the back seat and demolished the car getting at the cooler. Dad had to restrain the guy from trying to stop the bear....

wheeitsmee
08-07-2015, 05:49 PM
Some idiot stored his daughter's wedding cake in his car overnight in the parking lot of the Ahwahnee Hotel in Yosemite. Needless to say, his car was damaged and the cake was a total loss.

Dude threatened to sue the hotel. The front desk called a LEO Ranger (park police). Ranger told the fella that he better calm down or they were going to fine him for feeding the bears... :lol: