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EvilEmpryss
06-27-2015, 03:09 AM
Two short and not so sweet

Potty Time. I just knew there'd be a problem when I saw two women shepherd five small children into the theater. Multiple two- to five-year-old kids to see Jurassic World starting at 8 pm. At one point one of them starts trying to let the mother of the year know she had to use the potty. It started out soft enough, but when mommy dearest didn't listen, she got louder. And louder. And Louder.

"Mommy! My tummy Hurts! I need to go to the bathroom!"

I'm not kidding, I was leaning forward in my seat to actually yell "Take your kid to the bathroom!" when the sterling example of parenting finally huffed about missing the movie and got up to take the kid out. Of course she was loud about it, and loud coming back, and didn't take a crying baby out right away later. I have kids, and I know it can be inconvenient to be able to go to the movies when you have kids, but if you're going to try it, be prepared to be a decent freaking person and be a responsible parent who doesn't inflict your kids on the rest of the audience.

The Belcher. This guy sat behind me and every ten minutes or so let out the most disgusting rumbling belch. The kind that sounds like it bubbled up from someone deep, deep, deep in his gut. I didn't start counting until after he'd done it a few times, but what I did count came to 13. And then he snorts, nasty mucus-heavy nose noises. Not as prolifically as the the belches, but enough to be truly frakking annoying when you're trying to watch a movie. The pig was oblivious to disgusted glares and comments about how much of a pig he was being. Some people have absolutely no class. :pissed:

Monterey Jack
06-27-2015, 03:22 AM
At one point one of them starts trying to let the mother of the year know she had to use the potty. It started out soft enough, but when mommy dearest didn't listen, she got louder. And louder. And Louder.

"Mommy! My tummy Hurts! I need to go to the bathroom!"


Ugh...nothing pisses me off more than parents who ignore increasingly-urgent pleas from their kids to use the bathroom, especially kids under the age of five. :mad: Kids that young can not "just hold it"...by the time they actually ask, they're usually already full to bursting. Gee, sorry lady that you had to miss a few minutes of Jurassic World to prevent your kids soiling themselves in a dark room filled with strangers and scary dinosaur footage and earsplitting surround sound, but take some fucking responsibility.

Sapphire Silk
06-27-2015, 03:46 AM
Jurassic World is not a movie suitable for kids that age anyway.

Monterey Jack
06-27-2015, 04:02 AM
Jurassic World is not a movie suitable for kids that age anyway.

Doesn't matter...if it has dinosaurs, kids will whine at their parents until they take them, regardless of rating or subject matter. The original Jurassic Park traumatized many a kid back in the day. :eek:

What's even worse is that woman was taking a gaggle of under-fives to an eight PM showing...those kids should have been tucked in at least an hour earlier.

EvilEmpryss
06-27-2015, 04:12 AM
Yeah, and the how didn't let out until after 10 pm (previews started at 8 pm).

Now I know some families have skewed schedules, and they can only go out to late shows, but grown ups go to these later showings to get away from the smaller kids who might get dragged to the earlier showings. If you take kids to a movie, even a midnight showing of Spongebob, you need to not let you kids be a dick to the rest of the people there.

Monterey Jack
06-27-2015, 04:22 AM
If you take kids to a movie, even a midnight showing of Spongebob, you need to not let you kids be a dick to the rest of the people there.

I can understand midnight showing of a highly-anticipated geek movie like The Avengers or something...but a cartoon aimed at five-year-olds? :confused: And I know that SpongeBob has a loyal adult following as well, but still...can't people wait another twelve hours and see it when they're not bleary-eyed and half-asleep?

notalwaysright
06-27-2015, 04:46 AM
I was one such traumatized child. Must have been about 7 when it came out, and I have no idea if I saw it in the theater or at home. Freaking Velociraptor, am I right? This is one more reason I haven't seen a movie in a theater in... It's been years now. I'm just too cranky, and can't enjoy myself. I will pay to "rent" it from Amazon, turn off my apartment lights, make popcorn, and use these awesome headphones with the volume up loud. Yup, it's good.

And it just makes my brain hurt when a kid is trying to actually be good, and the parent ignores them. I know someone who's kid is amazingly stubborn about potty training, will say he doesn't need to go and then right after that pee/poo in his pull ups. I know it's completely the fault of his parents (they are not great examples of parenthood) but I still get irritated when I hear stuff like this. When I worked nights I would often hear little kids say "mommy I'm tired!" and the mom would flat out ignore it and shop until 9 PM. :(

AnaKhouri
06-27-2015, 11:26 AM
I was around 15 when it came out, and loved it. My son has asked to see it but I say no for another couple years or so; he is almost 6, and I've heard many people who saw it as kids say it terrified them. He has a VERY active imagination, so...;)

I seriously want to kick people in the throat who bring babies and small children to movies. If I am paying $10 a person, and got a babysitter for my two, I don't want to deal with other people's little kids at a movie aimed at older kids or adults. I can tolerate at a Pixar movie but not a regular movie.

Sapphire Silk
06-27-2015, 12:09 PM
I was around 15 when it came out, and loved it. My son has asked to see it but I say no for another couple years or so; he is almost 6, and I've heard many people who saw it as kids say it terrified them. He has a VERY active imagination, so...;)

I seriously want to kick people in the throat who bring babies and small children to movies. If I am paying $10 a person, and got a babysitter for my two, I don't want to deal with other people's little kids at a movie aimed at older kids or adults. I can tolerate at a Pixar movie but not a regular movie.

There were a number of small children that the showing in question. Several were noisy.

I can remember when the Evil Princess was about 2 years old (3 maybe?) Dinosaur came out. She loved it, but the T rex scared her to death. She would insist on watching it every time I came over, and would bury her face in my shoulder whenever T rex showed up . . . then be delighted with the rest of the movie.

She texted me to tell me how wonderful Jurassic World was. I went to see it with EE and the Evil Overlord last night, and I was hiding my face during half the scary bits.

Talk about role reversal :rolleyes::lol::roll:

Monterey Jack
06-27-2015, 03:44 PM
I was one such traumatized child. Must have been about 7 when it came out, and I have no idea if I saw it in the theater or at home. Freaking Velociraptor, am I right?

Hell, I was nineteen when it came about (or just about to turn nineteen), and it made me jump several times...I can't imagine having seen it under the age of ten. :eek:

Pizza Reverend
06-27-2015, 07:25 PM
When I saw Jurassic World, 8 PM opening night to a bustling full theater, I had the misfortune of being seated in front of of a kid who couldn't have been more than 5. And he was obnoxious- every time anything happened he'd ask what was going on, and he was constantly asking what words meant. I feared what would happen when the dinosaurs started eating people - and he started laughing when people were getting chomped. Kids got issues.

But it was almost worth it, when Chris Pratt kissed the girl, and he yelled out at the top of his little lungs, "EEWWWWWWWW THATS GROSS!"


Seriously, who brings a 5 year old to opening night of a Juraesic Park movie? Really?!

Monterey Jack
06-27-2015, 08:37 PM
Seriously, who brings a 5 year old to opening night of a Juraesic Park movie?

Self-centered assholes.

EvilEmpryss
06-28-2015, 02:37 AM
I can understand midnight showing of a highly-anticipated geek movie like The Avengers or something...but a cartoon aimed at five-year-olds? :confused: And I know that SpongeBob has a loyal adult following as well, but still...can't people wait another twelve hours and see it when they're not bleary-eyed and half-asleep?

Some families are shift workers so the whole family shifts over to a completely screwed up schedule (at least to the rest of humanity). I saw it a lot in the military.

Others might assume that if it's a later showing, the kids will be tired and sleep, or there won't be so many people that might be bothered. I can imagine a number of perfectly reasonable ways people might think it's a good idea. The problem is in the execution of the idea. If your kid is being a brat, you need to leave immediately.

I used to take each my kids to movies when they were little babies because I was breast feeding. I would hold off feeding them until the previews started, then shove them under the blanket to get to it. They'd eat and then fall right to sleep in the warm darkness under the blanket and against my skin. I was able to go to movies that I otherwise would have missed. Still, there was once or twice when an upset tummy meant they weren't going to go to sleep, and I spent the time in the lobby instead of the theater while Hubby and friends finished the movie. I would ask if I could get a raincheck for a different showing (I usually got one mostly, I think, because I showed the management that I wasn't being a jerk to the rest of the theater), and then Hubby owed me a night out to go see it myself while he stayed home with the baby. Worked like a charm.

Ironclad Alibi
06-28-2015, 07:30 PM
When Jurassic Park first came out I told people it wouldn't be scary if they cheered for the dinosaurs.

Sapphire Silk
06-28-2015, 10:34 PM
When Jurassic Park first came out I told people it wouldn't be scary if they cheered for the dinosaurs.

Does it make me a bad person that I wasn't sorry when the lawyer was eaten sitting on a toilet?

Ironclad Alibi
06-28-2015, 10:40 PM
Does it make me a bad person that I wasn't sorry when the lawyer was eaten sitting on a toilet?

If any one was upset at that scene, I couldn't hear it over the uproar of laughter in the theater.

taxguykarl
06-29-2015, 05:18 PM
Seriously, who brings a 5 year old to opening night of a Juraesic Park movie? Really?!Probably the same ones who bring kids that age (or younger) to Hannibal. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0212985/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2):eek: I kid you not!!

Jay 2K Winger
06-29-2015, 06:57 PM
Probably the same ones who bring kids that age (or younger) to Hannibal. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0212985/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2):eek: I kid you not!!

Ugh. I remember when that movie came out. I was still working at a movie theater at that time. We started cracking down on underage moviegoers in R-rated films. Heavily enforcing the "1 ID per ticket" rule. I don't think we had any parents trying to take five-year-olds into Hannibal, but it wouldn't have surprised me.

otakuneko
06-29-2015, 09:41 PM
I remember being traumatized by how farking cold it was in the theater when I went to go see the first Jurassic Park.

Other than that it was awesome.

bbbr
06-29-2015, 09:46 PM
I took my 12 and 14 yr old nephews to a manatee showing Jurassic World this weekend (their mom had absolutely zero interest in going with them). Not a bad movie but we wound up a few rows behind an extended family with a couple of 6-7 year olds. The little ones spent the 2nd half of the movie screaming as the dinos did their thing.

Still not as bad as seeing the 5 and 7 year old traipse in for a 10pm showing of "South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut" and then run amok for the entire showing. The mother was a customer at my old grocery store and was well known for her questionable parenting skills in herding those monsters around.

jedimaster91
06-30-2015, 08:16 PM
The original Jurassic Park traumatized many a kid back in the day. :eek:

Heck, my mother spent most of that movie hiding in the bathroom at the theater because she doesn't like jump scares. At all. Even to this day, she will not watch any of the Jurassic movies. I remember being around 8 or 10 or so the first time she let us watch it on video. But we weren't allowed to see the 'raptor scene in the kitchen. That is until she went out of town one weekend and Papa Jedi let us watch it. In his defense, he didn't know about that rule because we didn't tell him. Though Li'l Bro would have been around 4 at the time and Papa Jedi should have known better; despite Li'l Bro being the biggest dino enthusiast of all of us. He used to school the PTA ladies about dinosaurs and was able to pronounce the names correctly at a very young age. He was totally adorable. Wonder what happened there.....:p But anyway, yeah, I think we all had nightmares after that. :lol:

Mr Jedi and I went to see Inside Out last week and loved it. The kids in the showing were pretty well behaved. The family next to us talked through all the previews but at least they shut up when the movie started.

Mr Hero
07-01-2015, 12:58 PM
Does it make me a bad person that I wasn't sorry when the lawyer was eaten sitting on a toilet?

A huge tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer. Well, I suppose that proves they're really not all bad.

dalesys
07-01-2015, 01:20 PM
A huge tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer...
Whatever happened to professional courtesy?:p

Monterey Jack
07-01-2015, 06:22 PM
"The only one on my side is the blood-sucking lawyer!"

Jay 2K Winger
07-01-2015, 06:35 PM
"The only one on my side is the blood-sucking lawyer!"

"........thank you."

Boomslang
07-02-2015, 01:16 AM
The Belcher. This guy sat behind me and every ten minutes or so let out the most disgusting rumbling belch. The kind that sounds like it bubbled up from someone deep, deep, deep in his gut.

When I went to see Black Hawk Down, someone in the theater had horrific gas. As in "all of my nose hairs yanked themselves from their moorings and ran screaming for the door" atrocious. As in "was there chemical warfare in Mogadishu?" toxic Smellovision.

I don't go to the movies much anymore.
PS - where's the "vomiting" smiley face?

dalesys
07-02-2015, 01:35 AM
PS - where's the "vomiting" smiley face?
Click [More] under the 15 top smilies for a second page full of goodies or type : puke : (without spaces) directly into your text.

Boomslang
07-02-2015, 01:42 AM
Click [More] under the 15 top smilies for a second page full of goodies or type : puke : (without spaces) directly into your text.

Damn, I was kidding. You guys are equipped for Apocalypse.

Lovecats
07-03-2015, 05:35 PM
The only time we took our kids to a movie it was to a drive-in showing one of the Herbie movies (I think it was The Love Bug one). My oldest was around 2 and a half and my youngest was a newborn. Julie (the baby) slept thru it. I do remember being very uncomfortable ( it was only weeks after she was born. But if it hadn't of been a drive-thru we wouldn't have gone.

purple
07-03-2015, 06:05 PM
The boy thing wanted to see Jurassic world and I was up for a date night.

I spent 10 minutes hiding in his shoulder - I have a phobia of birds. Still haven't fully forgiven him.

Ironclad Alibi
07-04-2015, 01:43 AM
I have a phobia of birds.

Did that come from watching The Birds (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Birds_%28film%29)?

Lovecats
07-04-2015, 05:10 PM
Did that come from watching The Birds (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Birds_%28film%29)?

My daughter got hers from that movie. On another note, I wonder if Sheldon (Big Bang Theory) got his from that movie. We just watched that episode last night. Though on another note, it's not Sci Fi or fantasy so probably not.

eltf177
07-04-2015, 08:50 PM
I now have one towards spiders due to the movie THE MIST - they used to be "meh" and now they all get the stink eye. Thank you Frank Darlemont!:p

Monterey Jack
07-05-2015, 12:57 AM
Frank Darabont. ;)

gerund
07-07-2015, 09:51 AM
The last movie I went to see at the theater was Kill Bill 1. Even the censored version here in Australia was pretty horrific.

Sitting next to me in the audience was a little girl I think must have been 5 or 6. I don't know how her mother got her into the theater, but she was there. She didn't really watch the picture - she just sat there and kicked her legs and sang softly to herself the whole movie.

It disturbed me greatly. I decided that I would wait until any future movie came out on DVD and watch it at home.

XCashier
07-08-2015, 08:21 PM
When I went to see Black Hawk Down, someone in the theater had horrific gas. As in "all of my nose hairs yanked themselves from their moorings and ran screaming for the door" atrocious.
Back when we lived in Phoenix, we spent one summer day at the movies. Then this huge, sweaty, smelly guy came in (lack of hygiene + Phoenix heat = disgusting hot mess), and despite the theater being half-empty, he just had to sit next to me. And lean back and put his arms up. :puke: Yeah, I moved to my husband's other side PDQ.

As for the children in the movie theater, we didn't take our kid to the movies until he was seven, because he wasn't physically or emotionally mature enough until then. Now I know that kids mature at different rates, and another kid might be ready for the movie theater at four years old. But it's the parents' job to take care of their children, and dragging very young children to a frightening movie is not taking very good care of them.

Blue Ginger
07-09-2015, 03:37 AM
The boy thing wanted to see Jurassic world and I was up for a date night.

I spent 10 minutes hiding in his shoulder - I have a phobia of birds. Still haven't fully forgiven him.

Thanks for the warning. I think I will watch that on DVD and fast forward the first bit because birds are scary and freak me out. Except for fairy penguins, they are cool.

And, nope, won't ever be watching Birds. Have only seen snippets and I hide until they are over.

WishfulSpirit
07-12-2015, 10:28 AM
If I'd been in a bad mood when Stinky McStinkerson sat next to me, I think I'd have said loudly to Hubby "let's move somewhere else, that guy stinks." If I'd been in a better mood, I'd probably have just moved. If that wasn't possible, I'd have gotten a description and complained to the manager. The "bathing optional" crowd get away with it because nobody says anything. And I say that as the wife of a person whose combination of meds make his sweat pretty darn rank. He still showers, they can too.