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HotelMinion
07-24-2015, 09:57 AM
I'd like to share a personal story that my mom once told me. It's about when yours truly was being born.
Apparently I was a difficult pregnancy and made mom sick thru out all of it. When it was finally time to give birth, she was brought to a room where my dad wasn't allowed in, not even to give her comfort. My mom was afraid to take painkiller to help with the pain, plus there weren't any in that backwater hospital.
And to top it all off, the doctor was a real misogynist who would yell at mom whenever she cried out from the contractions. He said "Did you think this would be easy?! What did you expect when you have sex! This is your punishment woman!" And other really nasty things. My dad was outside pacing so he didn't hear any of it, or so he says.
Anyway I came out fine and I wasn't crying, just staring. The dr. slapped me and that made me cry. Mom said that it was because they thought I was dead. Okkk...my first human interaction. Nice.
When Mom was finally brought out with me to dad, mom told dad what the dr. said to her. Dad was angry but he doesn't like confrontation. (I guess I get that from him). He did ask him why he was so rude like that and the dr. said nothing just waved him away. Years later, my mom went back to the dr. to give him a piece of her mind, but the dr wasn't there. Though she found out later that he was still practicing, he just wasn't in that day.
I wrote this because I just read a story on the net about something similar happening somewhere and it reminded me of it. It's hard to believe that these horrible drs. are so nasty. :( If that dr. is still out there and reading this EFF YOU!!!!!!:devil:

Evannah
07-24-2015, 10:21 AM
Wow. That's JUST what a woman needs when she's trying to give birth. Nasty piece of work!

April
07-24-2015, 04:24 PM
I had a doctor similar to that when I delivered my son. She was (yes, a woman!) not as outwardly nasty, but super condescending and she treated me like I was stupid. She really made the whole ordeal more stressful.

Boomslang
07-25-2015, 12:55 AM
I had a doctor once yell at me during a pelvic exam, because she was hurting me. "Do we need to call someone in here, or are you going to cooperate?"

A FEMALE doctor said this to me.

I never went back to her. I refuse to get pelvic exams anymore. I don't care if I die from ovarian cancer. I will never be prodded and violated like that again.

stitchwitch
07-25-2015, 01:32 AM
I had a doctor once yell at me during a pelvic exam, because she was hurting me. "Do we need to call someone in here, or are you going to cooperate?"

A FEMALE doctor said this to me.

I never went back to her. I refuse to get pelvic exams anymore. I don't care if I die from ovarian cancer. I will never be prodded and violated like that again.

I once had one (also female) try to claim that it hurting meant I must have an STD. I don't go to that clinic at all anymore. The one I go to now told me that my cervix is narrow, and that the other one must have been using too big of a speculum. I have to get pelvic exams or the doctors won't give me my birth control pills, which I need so that I don't bleed to death (stupid PCOS).

MoonCat
07-25-2015, 03:50 AM
My mother used to tell us about the "foreign doctor" (no idea where the woman was from) who, during one of my mom's pregnancies, came into her hospital room to check on her progress and intentionally caused her water to break. This was fairly early in the labor for that baby (I forget which one of us it was) and mom was not too happy with her.

When I was 24 I had to go to a gyno to find out why I was having nasty pains on one side. This woman was a well-known and popular doctor in my town, but she had the bedside manner of a robot. It was my first gyno visit and she was neither understanding not gentle. And her advice to shy-and-terrified me was, "You should get a boyfriend." Right, because THAT will make my next gyno visit so much easier! :rolleyes:

Pagan
07-26-2015, 01:11 AM
I once had one (also female) try to claim that it hurting meant I must have an STD.

I find the position, with your butt practically hanging off the table and your feet in the air, undignified. I said as much to the NP. She decided that this meant that I had been sexually abused. :rolleyes:

bainsidhe
07-26-2015, 04:47 AM
My mom told the story of when sis & I (we're twins) were born, and how the doctor was upset because he was missing a game. Towards the end of her labor, he instructed the nurses to press on mom's stomach to help force us along. In my mom's opinion, it was unnecessary, not to mention extremely painful. The next day the doctor entered her hospital room all smiles, and mom said it was all she could do not to strangle him then and there, she was so angry.

Interestingly, I've recently read an article talking about women's terrible experiences giving birth, how their medical needs & concerns were overlooked, or how they were ignored and decisions made without their input or permission.

HotelMinion
07-26-2015, 09:21 AM
My mom told the story of when sis & I (we're twins) were born, and how the doctor was upset because he was missing a game. Towards the end of her labor, he instructed the nurses to press on mom's stomach to help force us along. In my mom's opinion, it was unnecessary, not to mention extremely painful. The next day the doctor entered her hospital room all smiles, and mom said it was all she could do not to strangle him then and there, she was so angry.

Interestingly, I've recently read an article talking about women's terrible experiences giving birth, how their medical needs & concerns were overlooked, or how they were ignored and decisions made without their input or permission.

Pressing on a stomach?!!? Doesn't that hurt the babies inside? :eek:
Reading about how women gave birth in the past is interesting but painful. I know advance have been made for women's comfort but still, I'd rather adopt.
I asked mom why she didn't just punch the mean Dr. out but she said she was in too much pain to. I would've despite it! :devil:

Akasa
07-26-2015, 10:45 AM
I've been known to make doctors run for cover when they don't treat my loved ones as well as I think they should...

I have a story that I'll post in Sickbay.

Lady Legira
07-26-2015, 02:57 PM
My mom told the story of when sis & I (we're twins) were born

My mother also tells the story about when we were born (also twins). My mum had been in labour for about 36 hours and was tiring, the doctor stood outside the room was talking to one of the nurses about the options they had. There was talk of doing a c-section but it would kill the baby in the birth canal (me :eek: ) they didn't realise that my mum heard the conversation.

The poor guy walked into the room and got a torrent of abuse from my mother much to the nurses delight and they cheered her on because it was raising her adrenaline. We were born in good time and healthy.

The next day the doctor came mum and my mum apologised but the doctor was fine and said that she could have said anything as long we were fine. :)

DGoddessChardonnay
07-28-2015, 07:41 PM
I find the position, with your butt practically hanging off the table and your feet in the air, undignified. I said as much to the NP. She decided that this meant that I had been sexually abused. :rolleyes:

Thankfully, this gyno I'm seeing now seems fairly understanding (and she's female as well) so I think she understands all too well how uncomfortable these things can be for us.

Luckily though, she didn't mind chatting while we were doing the procedure. I've found that if I'm talking away about something, it takes my mind off the discomfort a bit.;)

And another plus now: I don't have to have another pap smear for 3 years (used to be every year) so I don't have to dread that procedure as often.:)

And yes, I've had my share of bad doctors. And in each case I've walked out and not went back and let them know precisely why.

My rule of thumb is this: I don't deserve to be treated as less than human, so I will not tolerate being treated as anything less. If they don't like it, they can go cry a river, build a bridge and jump off it.:devil:

CorneliaMarieRocks
08-16-2015, 01:26 AM
HotelMinion, I'm curious, why was your mom afraid to take painkillers during labor? I mean, that IS partly what they are there for :confused:

sorry if this question sounds invasive, you don't have to answer if you don't care to :)

HotelMinion
08-16-2015, 03:20 AM
HotelMinion, I'm curious, why was your mom afraid to take painkillers during labor? I mean, that IS partly what they are there for :confused:

sorry if this question sounds invasive, you don't have to answer if you don't care to :)

Mom said that she believed drugs were harmful and easily addictive, any drugs. The hospital I was born was in the middle of nowhere and there was no easy access anyway. (It was a third world country). Back then (and this was only some 30 years ago :)) women just gave birth with little painkillers. It was just the norm. Now, it's more developed, thank goodness and it's not like that anymore.. But mom always had an aversion to drugs, she didn't let me take a single tylenol until I was 16 cuz she thought i would get addicted. She herself never ever took anything, even when she was in pain. Only in her last moments she accepted that help. T-T RIP
I can't remember if she took any when she was birthing little bro, tho...I think not.