View Full Version : {Game} Punish the SC!

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Lace Neil Singer
12-01-2015, 10:27 AM
This is a game that I and a colleague came up with during a rare quiet moment. :lol: Basically, one person posts an SC crime, and the next person comes up with a suitable punishment for the SC. It can be anything, from real life to fantasy, there are no restrictions, and in this game, no consequences for you! :D However, the punishment must stick to the rules laid down for CS.com which means no death, no violence and no food tampering, so be creative! You can either post your reply as a story, or just as a full description.


Crime: An SC pushes to the front of the queue.
Punishment: The SC is made to stand in the corner for a pre-determined time; ten minutes for every customer they pushed in front of, so if they pushed past three customers, that's half an hour. At the end of the time, they may join the queue but at the back.

Now we can start!

Crime: An SC turns up to shop two minutes before closing time, grabbing a trolley.

12-01-2015, 10:44 AM
Punishment: Every day for a week, as SC is putting on their coat to go home, their boss dumps a HUGE pile of work on their desk which "Has to be done TONIGHT!" - and reminds them that the company's budget is tight, so there's no overtime pay.

Crime: On Black Friday, someone grabs the last of the doorbuster special off the pile immediately before SC gets to it, so SC grabs it out of their cart because THEY deserve it more than the other customer does.

12-01-2015, 12:35 PM
Punishment: They order food at a sit-down restaurant. When the waiter sets the food down, someone else snatches it from them.

Crime: SC leaves cart in a parking space instead of the corral.

12-01-2015, 01:54 PM
Punishment: SC wants to impress a date, rents a Mercedes from an exotic car rental place. Arriving at the mall, he sees a space in a row close to the movie theatre. Racing down the row, he cuts off another car and whips into the space - hitting a shopping cart that another customer had left there rather than putting it back in the Wally World corral where it belongs. SC had saved a few bucks by not getting LDW on the rental car.

Crime: Gas stations are having a "price war", with long lines at the pumps. SC is riding his Harley, so he can fit into a smaller space than a car. He sees a small station wagon pull away from a pump, and whips in, cutting off the "dually" pickup truck that was next in line.

12-01-2015, 04:18 PM
SC pulls up only to find the pump is out of order and the station just ran out of gas.....so did their motorcycle

crime: SC cut in line at the dunk tank at the local carnival and refuses to move

12-01-2015, 04:53 PM
SC pulls up only to find the pump is out of order and the station just ran out of gas.....so did their motorcycle

crime: SC cut in line at the dunk tank at the local carnival and refuses to move

Punishment: Tell everyone in line that the dunk tank is shut down until SC moves.

Crime: SC yells at you for not stocking a product you never stocked to begin with.

12-01-2015, 08:21 PM
Punishment: People start showing up at his place of employment, demanding services that his company has never provided. When informed of this, the intruders call him stupid, and raise their voices.

Crime: Customer goes to get "one last thing" to add on to their two-cart order, knowing it will take ten minutes to get it because the store is so busy; does so knowing (from prior experience) that the store's registers do not have a "suspend transaction" feature. Customer informs the 6 people behind them that they will all just have to wait.

12-01-2015, 09:20 PM
Punishment: Tell everyone in line that the dunk tank is shut down until SC moves.

what no putting THEM in until the line is gone?

Punishment: cancel the order and then the SC has to wait in line for 12 people before their transaction is restarted at half the items to be rung

Crime: SC thinks they are [Insert deity of choice here]'s gift to the human race because they have the most expensive stuff therefor the rules don't apply to them including returning sour milk a week out of date

12-01-2015, 09:39 PM
Punishment: SC must work returns for a week, specifically all the spoiled, smelly, leaking, hazardous-in-some-way and generally nasty damages none of the other associates want to deal with. Their "pay" is distributed among any associates who have to put up with their bitching. If any of their "expensive stuff" is ruined during said work too bad.

Crime: Rather than asking for help the way a normal human does (ie some variant of "excuse me" or pressing the handy Help button), SC insists on staring, whistling and gesturing.

Ironclad Alibi
12-01-2015, 10:01 PM
Crime: Rather than asking for help the way a normal human does (ie some variant of "excuse me" or pressing the handy Help button), SC insists on staring, whistling and gesturing.

Punishment: The SC attracts the wrong sort of attention, which will not give up on them.

Crime: The SC keeps talking on their phone throughout the sales transaction.

Lace Neil Singer
12-01-2015, 10:20 PM
Punishment: The SC's phone is forcibly wrenched out of their hands, and then stamped on by the cashier until it is a mess of useless metal and plastic.

Crime: The SC roams the supermarket ignoring and occasionally encouraging the loud, ear piercing shrieks of their child.

Irving Patrick Freleigh
12-01-2015, 10:22 PM
I sentence the SC to as much yelling in their ears, furnished by staff and anybody else who cares to join in, as needed until their ears bleed.

Crime: The SC staaaaaaaaank

12-01-2015, 11:01 PM
Punishment: pregnant women and other sensitive types in the vicinity give him/her a vomit shower.

Crime: SC aggressively demands discounts on every prospective purchase in a thrift store. Aggravating factors include pricey apparel/accessories, or being a reseller.

12-01-2015, 11:23 PM
Punishment: SC's ex-wife sells his 2014 Porsche 911 for $50.

Crime: SC keeps coming into a romance store and constantly berating the staff for the things they sell.

Irving Patrick Freleigh
12-01-2015, 11:56 PM
SC shall spend the rest of their life mopping up the private booths. With a small, cotton hand-mop.

Crime: The SC makes the "If it doesn't scan, it must be free!" and laughs like it's the funniest thing EVAR.

Lace Neil Singer
12-02-2015, 12:01 AM
Punishment: The SC is forced to watch back to back DVDs of the most unfunny comedy series known to man.

Crime: The SC tries to pull a scam by claiming that they gave the cashier a twenty when in fact they gave her a fiver.

12-02-2015, 03:18 AM
punishment: 40 times what the SC spent will be taken out of their bank account and it will only ring up as the original amount

crime: SC comes in every day to just look around then leaves without buying anything

Ironclad Alibi
12-02-2015, 03:30 AM
Punishment: SC loses his wallet with much money, and no one believes him.

Crime: SC demands a discount because he "knows the owner."

12-02-2015, 03:45 AM
punishment: Owner is brought out after the SC guesses their name, age, sex, and anything else and if they are wrong their cost doubles, triples or even quadruples depending on how wrong they are

Crime: SC drives the wrong FREAKING WAY ON A ONE WAY LANE OF THE PARKING LOT [seen it more than once]

Lace Neil Singer
12-02-2015, 10:44 AM
Punishment: The SC's driving license is revoked and they are not allowed to drive again.

Crime: The SC turns up at closing time on Christmas Eve, and proceeds to dawdle around, stopping everyone from going home until at least an hour after the end of their shift.

12-02-2015, 11:44 AM
Punishment: SC is literally tied to his desk and left there over the weekend.

Crime: SC wants to try on the condoms.

Punishment: The SC is forced to watch back to back DVDs of the most unfunny comedy series known to man.

In other words, Saturday Night Live.

12-02-2015, 11:47 AM
Punishment: On returning to the conveniently-located fire lane where he parked his car (with the family's Christmas presents in the trunk), IT'S NOT THERE. He angrily calls the number on the posted sign for Friendly Neighbourhood Towing, and gets a recorded message that the yard is closed from 5 PM Christmas Eve until 7 AM on the 27th so the staff can enjoy Christmas and Boxing Day. He calls back on the 27th, and they deny having his car - it seems a local gang of car thieves has got the bright idea that people don't pay attention to a tow truck hooking up cars that are obviously illegally parked. Also, his insurance company denies the claim because he waited until 3 days after the theft to report it to them - and it's still a week and a half before the second payment on his new car is due.

Crime: The lot at Krispy Kreme is full, so SC parks next door. Their lot is full too, so he "makes his own space" parking in the left side (viewed when coming in) of the wide driveway. On the peak of the corner on the right side is a telephone pole. Traffic coming from the nearest major highway has to make a right turn in order to get into the lot. The sign on the business says "Arquebus Motor Freight/Billy Bobtail Jimmy Jacknife Professional Truck Driver's Academy". Note: The names have been changed, but this is one I see A LOT.

12-02-2015, 01:36 PM
Punishment: Arquebus' next contract is moving a vintage tank for a collector. Upon finding the way blocked, the collector simply drives the tank off the trailer and into the yard. With the poor view out of the driver's slit, is it any wonder that he accidentally drives *over* the SC's car?

Crime: SC balks at the cost of a custom-built gaming PC, specified to his demanding requirements. "I can get something ten times better for half the price at Best Buy," he insists. A week later, he comes in with this (http://i.imgur.com/1TaTIun.jpg) potato computer (https://www.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/comments/3v30nl/friend_of_mine_bought_a_600_gaming_pc_from_best/cxjwwms), demanding that you "fix it for free" because, in his mind, you "recommended it to him".

12-02-2015, 04:04 PM
Punishment: Now comes the part where we point and laugh (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nxXEPk3dzFg).

Since nobody came up with a punishment, here's the crime again.

Crime: SC wants to try on the condoms.

12-02-2015, 05:41 PM
Punishment: Oblige by stretching one over his head. (They often will stretch that far.) When he complains that you put it on "the wrong head", express puzzlement since that's the only one you can detect him possessing. If he attempts to demonstrate the existence of a second, call the police and report him for indecent exposure.

Crime: SC shows complete ineptitude in the operation of an SCO, and total disinterest in self-improvement in this regard, preferring instead to monopolise the attendant's time and sanity, fully aware that management has no spine whatsoever.

12-02-2015, 06:26 PM
Since nobody came up with a punishment, here's the crime again.

Crime: SC wants to try on the condoms.

Sorry. From the timestamps it looks like we were composing our answers at the same time, and you submitted yours first, so people took mine as being the last link in the chain.

12-02-2015, 08:42 PM
Punishment: Management fires the attendant, but hires SC as her replacement. Now SC has to deal with people like him on a daily basis, with no money whatsoever because his wife has control over all of his accounts.

Crime: SC leaves her naughty kids unattended in a department store on Christmas Eve. Chaos ensues and damages are in the thousands, if not millions, of dollars as the naughty kids go around breaking things. When salespeople and management finally find and confront SC, SC threatens to sue.

Lace Neil Singer
12-02-2015, 10:33 PM
Punishment: The SC is taken to court for criminal damage and instantly found guilty by the jury, made up of the staff of the department store. She is then stripped of everything she owns in order to pay for the damage.

Crime: After screaming at a sixteen year old cashier and reducing her to tears, the SC attempts to whitewash her behaviour by claiming that she's "having a bad day".

12-02-2015, 11:53 PM
Punishment: Have Aphex scream at her for 9 minutes (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPLWT3IEZDU). Then make her listen to Daniel Powter's "Bad Day" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH476CxJxfg) on a loop for an hour.

Crime: Two SC's decide that the dressing room is the perfect place for "sexy time."

Sorry. From the timestamps it looks like we were composing our answers at the same time, and you submitted yours first, so people took mine as being the last link in the chain.

"You deserve a spanking." -- Ben Dover, Jr.

12-03-2015, 01:13 AM
Punishment: Bucket of ice water dumped over them. Then they have to clean up the entire mess.

Crime: SC decides they don't want their frozen raw seafood, hides the packages in various places around the store.

Ironclad Alibi
12-03-2015, 01:50 AM
Punishment: Someone breaks into the SC's home and hides raw seafood in every room.

Crime: SC tries paying with 42 different credit/debit/gift cards, all of which are declined.

12-03-2015, 02:35 AM
Punishment: Repo men come and take away everything that SC has made payments on, but has never owned, including SC's internal organs.

Crime: SC comes in at five minutes to closing, browses for two hours and then complains about how the store is short-staffed since she "can't get anyone to help her".

12-03-2015, 03:59 AM
Punishment: SC's boss makes her work over the weekend all by herself.

Crime: SC says, "I hear your vacuum cleaners really suck."

12-03-2015, 10:48 AM
Punishment: SC stops by the liquor store, buys a fifth of bourbon, and tells people he's going to get shitfaced. As he walks out, a flock of seagulls is flying overhead, and they "let fly" - bringing his statement to fruition.

Crime: SC orders vichioise and steak tartare, then demands a manager and complains about the incompetent staff bringing him cold soup and raw meat.

Lace Neil Singer
12-03-2015, 05:55 PM
Punishment: SC is forced to eat an entire raw fish; one like this (http://www.gigantica-carp.com/_media/report_photos/124/44-large.jpg).

Crime: SC tries to use several out of date coupons to pay for her shopping, then throws a tantrum when they are all refused, after which she storms out of the store, leaving an entire trolley full of shopping for the staff to put back.

12-03-2015, 08:10 PM
Punishment: Staff calls SC's mother, who pinches her ear and makes her put everything back where it belongs, or she's grounded!

Crime: SC orders fugu, a Japanese dish made from a poisonous puffer fish, at a French bistro and throws a toddler-like temper tantrum when told that they only serve French cuisine there.

12-03-2015, 09:15 PM
Punishment: SC can make and eat his own fugu.

Crime: SC returns a kitten she adopted because it's too plain.

Lace Neil Singer
12-03-2015, 09:31 PM
Punishment: SC is rolled in cat food, then put in a cage along with several hungry cats.

Crime: SC drops several jars of mayonnaise on the floor, then walks away leaving the mess on the floor to fester.

12-03-2015, 11:31 PM
Punishment: SC is forced to eat the mayonnaise, clean the floor with a toothbrush and pick up the pieces with his bare hands. If he stops, an army general will whip his butt and scream at him.

Crime: SC jokes that if an item doesn't scan, it must be free.

12-04-2015, 12:41 AM
Punishment: SC can make and eat his own fugu.
Doesn't that violate the "no killing the SC" rule?

Punishment SC is slapped with a fish (http://i1.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article5215230.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/MAIN-Huge-catfish-caught.jpg) until they realize how stupid that joke sounds.

Crime: SC goes shopping on any major holiday that time should be spent with family on.

12-04-2015, 01:23 AM
Punishment: SC is forced to work double shifts every holiday and weekend.

Crime: SC hasn't bathed in months and wanders around the small store leaving a trail of stench.

Punishment: Someone breaks into the SC's home and hides raw seafood in every room.
Especially in the heating vents. :devil:

12-04-2015, 02:26 AM
Punishment SC is pressure washed and the water made into candles and lit in their house then they are shot with rubber bullets (only because I feel evil)

Crime: SC leaves trash in the parking lot including a used diaper

12-04-2015, 12:13 PM
Punishment: Make him eat his lunch with the dirty diaper under his chair.

Crime: SC tries to sit in the Reserved section of the restaurant despite not being a part of the group that has the reservation.

Punishment: SC can make and eat his own fugu.

Doesn't that violate the "no killing the SC" rule?

I said he CAN eat fugu. I didn't say, "Make him eat fugu."

Lace Neil Singer
12-04-2015, 12:15 PM
Punishment: SC is forced to volunteer at a children's home, changing every single dirty nappy with their bare hands.

Crime: SC comes to a restaurant with her family, makes a horrendous mess and is demanding all thru the meal. The only tip she leaves is a religious tract disguised as a £10 note.

12-04-2015, 12:17 PM
Punishment: Her next paycheck has the word "VOID" on it.

Again, ...

Crime: SC tries to sit in the Reserved section of the restaurant despite not being a part of the group that has the reservation.

Lace Neil Singer
12-04-2015, 12:35 PM
Punishment: She gets to stay there, but the fattest, heaviest member of the group sits on her for the duration of the meal.

Crime: SC fills up their car with petrol and drives off without paying.

12-04-2015, 05:21 PM
Punishment: SC comes home to find it sold and all their possessions in the ownership of someone else

Crime: SC.....SC.......SC kicked A PUPPY owned by the store

Lace Neil Singer
12-04-2015, 07:24 PM
Punishment: The SC gets ambushed by a gang of PETA members on leaving the store. O_o

Crime: The SC buys a dress, wears it to a wedding, then tries to return it to the store with sweat stains in the armpits.

Ironclad Alibi
12-04-2015, 10:07 PM
Punishment: Every piece of clothing the SC buys will have sweat stains.

Crime Fecesangelo decorates the store restroom.

Lace Neil Singer
12-04-2015, 10:11 PM
Punishment: The SC has to clean up his mess using nothing but a bottle of bleach and a toothbrush.

Crime: The SC refers to one of the shop assistants as "the ugly fat girl" while making a complaint about the shop assistant refusing to break store policy for her.

12-05-2015, 01:26 AM
Punishment: Make the SC wear a fat suit, an extra large dress, and uncomfortable shoes, and make her walk home like that.

Crime: Two SCs decide that shocking each other with shock collars in the store is absolutely hilarious.

12-05-2015, 02:02 AM
Punishment: Replace the shock-collars with bark-collars, then make them sit in a room full of lapdog puppies all day.

Crime: SC refuses to pay attention to safety briefings (eg. on board a plane, or when renting a boat or winter-sports equipment) and keeps talking, distracting other customers from the briefing.

12-05-2015, 03:12 AM
Punishment: A little duct tape should take care of that.

Crime: SC duct tapes his friend to a support column.

12-05-2015, 03:25 AM
Punishment: If friend wanted to be duct-taped, duct-tape the SC to the same support column so they can be together forever. If friend didn't agree, rescue friend, duct-tape the SC in the friend's place and tell all dog owners that they can chain their dogs there and that SC can watch the dogs. Bonus points if some of the dogs are notoriously vicious.

Crime: SC tries to buy a violent, not-for-kids videogame for her minor children.

12-05-2015, 11:39 AM
Punishment: It's an X-Box exclusive title, SC's kid only has a PS4. SC doesn't realize it's not going to work until after they open it, making it non-returnable. SC is out the cash.

Crime: Customer shows up at a restaurant on a "special" day when it's been booked solid for months in advance, and demands that the restaurant cancel someone else's reservation to make room for them.

Crime: SC fills up their car with petrol and drives off without paying.

I'm surprised that nobody took the bait on this one (or one I posted earlier). Punishment: SC TRIES to drive off without paying, and half a block later finds out the hard way that they THOUGHT they were filling their car with petrol. It seems the station put an "unleaded" nozzle instead of the proper (larger diameter) nozzle on the diesel pump, and the SC grabbed that one by mistake.

12-05-2015, 03:00 PM
Punishment: SC gets the special table, by the dumpster

Crime: SC gets drunk and runs through the store while removing clothes

12-05-2015, 04:50 PM
Punishment: SC has to do the same outside in the cold.

Crime: SC yells at the mailman because he keeps delivering bills.

Lace Neil Singer
12-05-2015, 05:34 PM
Punishment: SC's house is repossessed cuz he didn't pay his bills, while the mailman stands outside and laughs.

Crime: SC brings her non service dog into the store and it defecates on the floor.

12-05-2015, 08:41 PM
Punishment: SC is made to clean up the floor and then escorted to the off-leash area in the park where she has to clean up after all the dogs.

Crime: SC doesn't want his Krusty Krab pizza because it didn't come with a drink. This leaves Spongebob in tears because he and Squidward trekked miles with the pizza to get to SC's house only to have SC shove the pizza back and be all rude about it.

12-06-2015, 03:25 AM
Punishment: SC gets the pizza and several others shoved down his throat by Squidward

Crime: SC doesn't buy matches forcing a small girl to freeze out in the snow

12-06-2015, 07:36 PM
Punishment: SC is forced to work for, and live with, the girl's abusive father, since he just lost his only source of income.

Crime: SC scams his way to a free Krabby patty by hiding the pickle slices under his tongue, forcing Spongebob to doubt himself and retreat into his pineapple home.

Lace Neil Singer
12-06-2015, 10:15 PM
Punishment: Aquaman comes and avenges Spongebob by having sea creatures attack the SC.

Crime: The SC demands a comped meal cuz she arrived at the busy time and wasn't instantly seated.

12-06-2015, 10:30 PM
Punishment: Everyone takes something from SC's job during a busy time and walks out

Crime: SC [sucky Corporation] wrongly forecloses on a house then doesn't pay up when sued

12-06-2015, 11:38 PM
Punishment: The bank of SC fails, then angry mobs and wrecking balls destroy the building.

Crime: Sucky neighbour barges into your house, tastes your and your spouse's porridge while eating up your kid's porridge, tries out your chairs but breaks your kid's chair, tried out your beds and is found sleeping in your kid's bed.

12-07-2015, 02:19 AM
Punishment: The bank of SC fails, then angry mobs and wrecking balls destroy the building.
Man I was hoping somebody remembered that news story from a while ago. Oh well guess not

Punishment: SC is thrown out of the fairy tail theme park and into a police cruiser for drunken behavior and destruction of property then someone eats most of SC's food in jail and sleeps in their bed after breaking the other bed in the cell.

Crime: SC calls 911 for a wolf sighting then laughs when Wildlife Control shows up.

Ironclad Alibi
12-07-2015, 03:38 AM
Punishment: The next time SC calls 911 for a wolf sighting, Wildlife Control doesn't show up and a pack of wolves do.

Crime: SC lets their healthy kid ride the courtesy handicap scooter.

12-07-2015, 04:08 AM
Punishment: SC and their child have their legs broken and all the scooters are programmed not work when they, and only they, get on.

Crime: SC farts right in front of the checkout counter and walks away. [I think I might have to quit im running low on ideas]

12-07-2015, 04:39 AM
Punishment: Cashier sprays air freshener in their face.

Crime: SC smokes next to the propane tanks.

Crime: SC [sucky Corporation] wrongly forecloses on a house then doesn't pay up when sued

I remember that. The customer foreclosed on a bank branch.

12-07-2015, 05:31 AM
Punishment: SC is sprayed head to toe with a fire extinguisher then the cost to recharge it is charged to them.

Crime: SC hits a car and drives off without leaving any information

Lace Neil Singer
12-07-2015, 04:44 PM
Punishment: As they drive away, a pick up truck hits the car, writing it off. The truck is uninsured so the SC gets nothing.

Crime: The SC screams abuse at the cashier at the returns desk after being refused a return for an item she bought elsewhere.

12-07-2015, 04:57 PM
Punishment: SC's neighbor screams at her for what her daughter did. SC doesn't have a daughter.

Crime: SC keeps complaining about the screaming kids in the local amusement park.

12-07-2015, 05:04 PM
Punishment: SC's neighbor screams at her for what her daughter did. SC doesn't have a daughter.

Crime: SC keeps complaining about the screaming kids in the local amusement park.

Punishment: SC must be restricted to the "kiddie" section of the amusement park for an entire day, and must smile the entire time.

Crime: SC asks for "the usual", and then complains because you don't know what "the usual" is, because this is the first time you've seen the SC at your establishment.

12-07-2015, 08:59 PM
Punishment: Bug-fearing SC has to order "the usual" at an insect restaurant and then has to eat 5 platefuls of the creepy crawlies.

Crime: SC orders meat at a vegan restaurant.

12-08-2015, 05:47 PM
punishment: SC is slapped with a halibut and given a vegan dish that tastes like meat.....then slapped with another halibut by every member of staff on at that moment.

Crime: SC complains they were slapped by halibut at a vegan restaurant for ordering meat

12-08-2015, 05:53 PM
Punishment: Judge foregoes the halibut and slaps the SC with a shark.

Crime: SC tries to short-change the cashier, then when told that the manager will have to count down the till, proceeds to throw a titanic tantrum, screaming loudly enough to be heard in the next shop and smashing several displays.

12-08-2015, 07:54 PM
Punishment: SC is shot with elephant Tranquilizers and then taken to a lab to learn of their amazing powers only to discover their nappy was full and they calm down after it is changed [what I don't ALWAYS slap an SC with seafood]

Crime:SC drives down the street blaring rap music at 3 am

12-08-2015, 10:02 PM
Punishment: They get locked in a sound proof chamber and be forced to listen to 3 hours of bad chanting.

Crime: SC is trying on clothes in the aisle instead of the dressing room.

Lace Neil Singer
12-08-2015, 11:56 PM
Punishment: SC is wrapped in a rubbish bag to cover them, then put with the other rubbish down the chute a la Veruca Salt.

Crime: On being told that the toy of the year is sold out, the SC goes ballistic and throws a tantrum that would make a two year old blush.

12-09-2015, 02:43 AM
Punishment: SC has to forfeit all of his diplomas and degrees and attend preschool again. SC's mother has to take him in again after his wife leaves him for acting like a baby. Cue the Time-Out Chair.

Crime: SC comes to a high-falutin', fancy-shmancy, formal restaurant that serves paté and champagne and has waiters in suits and ties. However, SC looks like he's dressed for a beach party that's full of sports, scantily-clad hotties, and beer.

12-09-2015, 03:59 AM
Punishment: SC is shown to a table in the alley behind the restaurant and nobody comes all night

Crime:SC does the old flaming bag of *you know what* trick

12-09-2015, 06:50 PM
Punishment: An angry mafia matriarch has *you know what* dumped on his car.

Crime: SC is *making herself happy* in mens' wear.

12-09-2015, 11:24 PM
Punishment: Cue the creepy, dirty old guy....

Crime: SC pulls her kids from school for teaching them sex education because "it might make them gay."

12-10-2015, 12:58 AM
Punishment:SC's kids are locked in a room with a perpetual looping tape of 'Happy Harry the Horny Homo'*

Crime:The SC makes numerous(honk!honk!) references (you don't get many of them to the pound love) to the till girl's ample chest (DD is Double Delight,isn't it sweetie)

*this title is presumed imaginary.If it isn't,I am not responsible for what happens next

12-10-2015, 02:09 AM
Punishment: SC gets a surprise from "Vice Grip" Vicki. :eek:

Crime: SC complains about the "fatty" at the cash register to management.

12-10-2015, 02:54 AM
Punishment: Management assumes that SC has multiple personalities and was complaining about one of them, so, thus, refers SC to a psychiatrist.

Crime: SC claims to know the owner and wants a discount because of it. Catch: Owner really does know SC.

12-10-2015, 03:29 AM
Punishment: The owner informs SC that he pays the same price everyone else pays.

Crime: SC plays hard core pornography over the loud speakers in the local retail store.

12-10-2015, 08:43 PM
Punishment: SC thinks he's going to live in a nudist colony, but he's really become the star of a porn version of the Truman show, and he has to have sex with older, dirtier, creepy men if he wants to live.

Crime: SC wants everything on TV banned because it might make her kids gay/violent/opposed to her ideals, etc. However, instead of just shutting off the TV and taking it away, she complains to every broadcaster in the country. When told no, she throws a hissy fit on social media and on TV, the very thing that she despises the most.

Lace Neil Singer
12-10-2015, 10:24 PM
Punishment: SC is sent to live in the wild part of New Guinea, where the residents are still in the Stone Age, and therefore, TV doesn't exist.

Crime: SC complains cuz the supermarket is closed on Christmas Day and insists that it should be open, cuz retail staff aren't entitled to holidays.

12-10-2015, 11:10 PM
Punishment: Customers are directed to SC's house to collect any groceries they need on Christmas Day,regardless of whether or not it disrupts her day

Crime:SC has been at the till for ten minutes,emptying out every jeans pocket,coat packet,handbag,purse etc. to find The Mysterious Hiding Credit Card (tm).

12-11-2015, 03:45 AM
Punishment: Everyone in line behind the SC is handed a salmon. Time for some fish-slapping.

Crime: In order to avoid door dings, SC occupies 2 parking spaces by straddling the line so that they'll have a BIG buffer between themselves and the adjacent cars.

12-11-2015, 01:15 PM
Punishment: A gang of Hell's Angels park their motorcycles all around his car, ensuring that he can't get out until they're darned good and ready to move their bikes. And if he throws a fit, he gets to speak to the leader, Tiny (6'7", 350 lbs of muscle, former boxer and bouncer with extremely low bullshit tolerance). :devil:

Crime: SC complains about how expensive the payments on her mansion and yacht are to the store employee who's living in his 20-year-old car due to poverty.

12-11-2015, 04:08 PM
Punishment: SC gets to live in the car for a year and SE gets to have the Mansion and yacht forever on SC's expense

Crime: SC goes to Hot Topic and demands they play stuff like Frank Sinatra

12-11-2015, 06:02 PM
Punishment: SC attends a 6 hour Black Eyed Peas concert.

Crime: SC's dog makes a mess in the aisle, SC doesn't clean it up.

12-11-2015, 07:48 PM
Punishment: SC's front yard becomes a dog park--excrement removal strictly optional.

Crime: The SC enters a break room clearly marked EMPLOYEES ONLY and makes off with goodies left for staff.

12-11-2015, 10:13 PM
Punishment: The goodies were from a batch which had been recalled for botulism contamination, but whoever brought them in hadn't heard about the recall.

Crime: On a crowded bus, SC has his bag on the seat next to him, denying a seat to other passengers.

12-11-2015, 10:37 PM
Punishment: An 800 lb person sits on the seat, not seeing the bag...oh dear, that contained thousands of dollars of fragile ornaments the SC meant for Christmas presents. :devil:

Crime: SC keeps chatting up employee, and getting sleazier and nastier even after she says she's not interested.

12-11-2015, 11:13 PM
Punishment:Cashier's very gay and very persistent coworker decides he likes the look of SC and will not take no for an answer.

Crime:SC insist that the store honour their coupon-the one that expired 6 months ago.

12-11-2015, 11:17 PM
Punishment: The coupon is honored, but the items they receive all expired six months ago.

Crime: Customer pays in pennies. For a $50 order. No baggies, no nothing, he just dumps it all onto a moving conveyor belt.

Ironclad Alibi
12-11-2015, 11:19 PM
Looks like I got in second on this one, with a similar answer.

Punishment: The store honors the coupon but only on a product that expired six months ago.

Punishment: All the pennies get sucked under the conveyor belt and fall into into an inaccessible area, and the sales clerk didn't notice them putting the pennies on the belt. The SC still has to pay $50. No one believes them about the pennies

Crime: SC insists the salesperson give them the employee's discount on their purchase.

12-11-2015, 11:41 PM
Punishment: The SC gets the discount-since that makes them an employee,they now have to work the rest of the shift.

Crime:The SC is using their mobility scooter as a battering ram to poke the legs of the customer ahead of them in the queue

12-12-2015, 02:29 AM
Punishment: Said customer then videotapes the SC ramming the door with the word "Pull" on it and uploads it onto YouTube. Cue anger and humiliation when SC's grandchildren view the video.

Crime: SC "samples" from the produce section one too many times.

12-12-2015, 02:54 AM
Punishment: Someone comes to SC's house and samples all of the contents of SC's refrigerator.

Crime: Two SCs decide to test the ropes, chains, and tie downs in the middle of the hardware store.

12-12-2015, 03:17 AM
Punishment: SCs' wives agree to be the doms of BDSM with the SCs as the subs and then go too far with the ropes, chains and tie-downs that the SCs bought.

Crime: SC criticizes a mother for breastfeeding in public. The mother already covered her breasts with a cloth way before the SC even noticed her.

Lace Neil Singer
12-12-2015, 12:20 PM
Punishment: On leaving the store, the SC is ambushed by a group of lactivists who witnessed the above incident. The SC is badly beaten and spends Christmas in hospital.

Crime: The SC demands to use the staff toilet, despite the fact that this is not allowed due to the valuable stock out back and the employee would get fired for allowing it.

12-12-2015, 02:41 PM
Punishment: A sign is mounted on SC's house "Public Toilets". They must allow anyone and everyone to use their bathroom without complaint, and put up with anything else that happens as a result.

Crime: SC consistently demands expert help from people who don't work in the department they need help in (or don't even work in the store), sometimes to the point of herding the 'slacker' to the item they want help with.

12-14-2015, 02:47 AM
Punishment: SC is force to work at the store while not getting paid.

Crime: SC keeps playing a guitar badly despite being asked not to by management.

12-14-2015, 06:12 PM
Punishment: A clone of John Belushi (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V_hCqO6UQs) is dispatched to dispatch the guitar.

Crime: The SC continues to demand a discount because other store sells the products for less.

Ironclad Alibi
12-15-2015, 12:13 AM
Punishment: SC gets the discount, but in so doing is signed up for a monthly non-cancellable subscription for the same product at full price for the next year.

Crime: SC (in the US) never tips at restaurants.

12-15-2015, 12:47 AM
Punishment: The SC is now required to tithe 15 % of their wages to a fund for underpaid servers for the rest of the SC's life.

Crime: SC sees someone else reading a book they disapprove of and snatches it from the reader's hands, then loudly berates the ex-reader while stomping on and ripping up the book.

12-15-2015, 11:56 PM
Punishment: Police are called and when SC lands in jail, SC's roommate stomps on and rips up all of SC's stuff.

Crime: SC's kids are crying for attention/food/etc. SC just ignores them while playing games on her phone. When people confront SC over concern for her kids, SC gets belligerent, saying that she is a good parent, all while flailing her arms around and throwing hissy fits.

12-16-2015, 03:16 AM
Punishment: The local gun club uses her phone as skeet while the SC watches.

Crime: SC squeezes the tomatoes way too hard.

Ironclad Alibi
12-16-2015, 07:44 PM
Punishment: The security camera video of the tomato exploding all over her becomes a YouTube hit.

Crime: SC is always very late for appointments.

12-16-2015, 07:46 PM
Punishment: SC's fiancé leaves her because she was 3 hours late to the wedding.

Crime: SC beats up people for telling her that there's no such thing as Santa Claus. SC is an adult, by the way.

12-16-2015, 09:29 PM
Punishment: SC is beaten back by someone who ensures that the SC will need one large and final visit from the Tooth Fairy.

Crime: SC goes to a restaurant and wants his food done in a precise, picky, exact way. He never bothers to mention this while he's ordering, nor to tell any of the staff after he's ordered. But he certainly turns into a human hurricane when his food, having been made in the normal, ordinary way most people get their food at this restaurant, arrives.

Lace Neil Singer
12-16-2015, 11:02 PM
Punishment: All the food is thrown at the SC, and he has to pay for it.

Crime: The SC comes in and shouts at the cashier who refused to sell cigarettes to her daughter, due to the daughter having no ID.

12-16-2015, 11:23 PM
Punishment: The SC has to stand outside the store for eight hours straight, for the next seven days, telling everyone who passes by them the area's legal requirements for buying cigarettes. They'll be paid for this, but if they slack or walk off the job, that paycheck gets lit up and treated like a cigarette by the store's manager.

Crime: The SC tries to return shoes that are completely worn out in a new expensive box. When he can't get his way, he leaves, snatching the Christmas donation box from the Liberation Navy on his way out.

12-17-2015, 12:01 AM
Punishment: SC is required to donate two months' worth of his salary to the Liberation Navy while walking into LN's office in the worn out shoes.

Crime: Male SC goes into the women's dressing room and *makes himself happy.* :puke:

12-17-2015, 12:15 AM
Punishment: Dr. Cutter, world-renowned specialist in amputation, follows him in there with her trusty scissors and makes everyone else happy.

Crime: SC and his friends decide to play D&D. They decide to play it literally instead of at a table. They decide to do this in the supermarket, where they buy liquor and enter battle with a red dragon only they can see.

Alt Crime: SC enjoys using her new Discovered card to go shopping with. The problem is, she discovered it on a department store's floor and it has someone else's name, which she is well-practiced in forging.

Ironclad Alibi
12-17-2015, 02:45 AM
Punishment: After becoming somewhat inebriated, the D&D players can no longer separate reality from fantasy and start attacking customers thinking they're dragons. The police escort them to a non-fantasy dungeon.

Alt-Punishment: After using the stolen card to buy a lovely red outfit, the SC decides to go grocery shopping where they are mistaken for a red dragon and treated accordingly. In helping the SC recover from the attack the police discover the stolen credit card. The SC gets to join the D&D players in the dungeon, where the game continues.

Crime: SC sits on the floor in the middle of a book store for hours looking at books and not moving out of anyone's way.

12-17-2015, 03:46 AM
Punishment: Whoever glued SC to the floor will be duct taped to the support column and left there for hours.

Crime: SC decides that they really need to sleep on the bed in the museum.

Punishment: Dr. Cutter, world-renowned specialist in amputation, follows him in there with her trusty scissors and makes everyone else happy.

:eek: Looks like someone doesn't want to play ball.

12-17-2015, 02:36 PM
Punishment: The museum bed is replaced with a bed of nails. :eek:

Crime: SC wants a new deck, but doesn't actually want to do the work himself, so tries to bully the home improvement store employee into doing the work for him.

12-17-2015, 05:47 PM
Punishment: He gets a deck all right; he's put on a ship sailing straight to the Bermuda Triangle.

Crime: Ms. & Mr. Neverpay come in at closing time, you see. S. T. E. A. L. I. N. G. They love your goods, but your prices, they disparage, so they stash what they want in the baby carriage.

12-17-2015, 08:32 PM
Punishment: Security sees them on the vid, notices all the things they hid. Cops and CPS come to avail, Baby stays with Grandma while parents go to jail.

Crime: SC is grocery shopping the day before Thanksgiving and pitches a fit because there are no more turkeys.

12-17-2015, 08:51 PM
OOG: Are you sure, XCashier? I should think the SC is a big enough turkey on their own.

Lace Neil Singer
12-17-2015, 11:22 PM
Punishment: The SC is sent to Canada to catch herself a wild turkey.

Crime: SC turns up two minutes before closing time, wanders around for ages then takes an age at the checkout. When the cashier reminds him that the store is closed, he smirks and says that there's plenty of time.

12-17-2015, 11:44 PM
Having an SC after closing is not fun
I'm pulling out my huge shotgun
Don't be a lout
Just get the :censored: out
We open tomorrow at one.

SC decides to *fertilize* the potted plant in the mall.
Security is getting the call.
Before the guard has his say.
The SC gets away.
What is the SC's downfall?

12-18-2015, 04:01 AM
Punishment: SC forgets to pull their pants up and goes face first into the floor in front of Security

crime: SC [Sucky corp again] schedules all their employees off work for a holiday party regardless of if they had intended to attend the party

Lace Neil Singer
12-18-2015, 11:42 AM
Punishment: SC is punished by being made to host a free party for the community living in the local bad area. The employees get paid leave while this is going on.

Crime: SC screams at cashier after her credit card is declined three times, as if it's the cashier's fault. She demands that her shopping is comped by the company cuz she's such a good customer.

12-18-2015, 08:32 PM
Punishment: SC stares in horror as the manager cuts up her credit cards right before her very eyes. She is then banned from all stores, supermarkets, banks and malls for the rest of her life and since she has a reputation for being a gold digger, no one will want her, not even the creepy old perverts. SC is reduced to begging in rags after she is evicted from her posh apartment for not being able to pay the rent for 2 years.

Crime: SC's toddlers are climbing the store shelves. When the salesperson goes to bring the toddlers down, SC slaps the salesperson saying, "How DARE you touch my special angels! I'll SUE!!!".

12-18-2015, 09:56 PM
Punishment: SC is forced to sign a waver so that they cannot sue at all when their kids get hurt. If she won't sign, CPS will be called. Ten minutes later, the kids get hurt, and SC has only themselves to blame.

Crime: SC gets on her phone at the movies and plays the harpy, screaming at everything and everyone, about anything and anyone. Everyone knows what's going on in her life, but nobody knows what's going on in the movie.

12-18-2015, 11:10 PM
Punishment: Sc's phone is given to Doc from The Whiteboard to "fix" with a maple ten-pounder

Crime: SC cracks their juevos escaping from security

12-19-2015, 03:17 AM
Punishment: SC has a harder time having sex because he cracked his juevos AND broke his wiener.

Crime: SC and girlfriend are standing in the pickup line for Tornado Potatoes (http://www.mytornadopotato.com/). Problem is, they didn't order any tornado potatoes because the ordering line is on their right. When told this, they refuse to budge and insist that the pickup line IS the order line.

Lace Neil Singer
12-19-2015, 04:54 PM
Punishment: All the leftovers, including any potatoes that were discarded cuz of being bad, are thrown at the SCs by the staff and the people in the correct queue.

Crime: SC swipes toys out of a donation bin meant for children in hospital so as not to spend money on her kids' presents.

12-19-2015, 10:14 PM
Punishment: The donation box was full of nothing but old, broken Teddy Ruxpins a donator picked up at an auction and didn't bother to look at. The donater's heart was in the right place, but their brain was temporarily out of service. Merry Christmas.

Crime: SC and his ghastly friends all go for a meal on Christmas Eve. They have a huge Christmas feast, ordering half the food in the restaurant and they make a big show of themselves. They also use a lighter under the table to set off a smoke alarm so everyone has to be evacuated, allowing them to completely skip out on their bill. By the time everyone discovers that nothing is wrong, SC & his ghastly friends are all gone.

12-20-2015, 04:24 AM
Punishment: SC and his ghastly friends go to celebrate their success at a bar and try to do the same thing, but one of the customers recognizes the group and alerts the bartender, who alerts both the bouncers and the police. The bar is in lockdown after a brawl erupts between the bouncers and the group, and then the police step in. The group is charged with theft of services, attempted arson and assault and are locked away for a long time.

Crime: SC is in full Star Wars costume and he pushes to the front of the line so he can get a good seat for the new Star Wars movie. When people complain, he threatens everyone with his toy lightsaber.

Lace Neil Singer
12-20-2015, 04:12 PM
Punishment: Dave the burly biker and his friends are nearby, dressed as Stormtroopers. They make short work of the SC and he ends up right at the back of the line. By the time he gets to the front, the last ticket has been sold.

Crime: The SC brings her eight screaming children to a restaurant on Christmas Day. The children run around, shrieking like banshees while the SC chats on her phone. They make a horrific mess and the SC doesn't bother to tip.

12-20-2015, 07:45 PM
Punishment: SC's teenage daughter and her much-older boyfriend come over with their own screaming children and they all proceed to wreak havoc in the house. Neither the daughter nor the boyfriend bother to clean up.

Crime: SC roars at a waiter, demanding a steak that must taste just like veal, a soup that has no more and no less than 16 droplets of fat in it, and wine that must be served at exactly 50 degrees in a crystal wine glass that must sound in A-flat when he taps it.

12-21-2015, 05:12 AM
Punishment:SC is slapped with a halibut, tuna, and swordfish then served a double bacon cheeseburger and their bill comprises of 1 halibut, 1 tuna, 1 swordfish, and a $40 double bacon cheeseburger.

Crime:SC buys a set of icicle christmas lights then goes home and stuffs their old set of christmas lights into the box and returns it to the store [yeah this actually happened :censored: customer]

12-21-2015, 07:36 PM
Punishment: Due to a blizzard, the SC's electrical power is neutralized for a week. And he's snowed in. He may have scammed the store, but it's not wise to enrage Mother Nature . . .

Crime: SC goes to buy the latest hit movie for Christmas. He sees the sign that says "No more than five copies of any one title per customer" and decides to completely ignore it. He grabs every single copy the store has of the big hit movie. The cashier won't let him buy twenty-seven copies, so after he is done verbally terrorizing and berating her, he demands a manager.

The manager comes, folds, and not only does he let him buy all twenty-seven copies of the movie, he allows the SC to have a massive discount! So not only did the store lose money, but nobody else will be able to buy the movie.

And what does SC do with the movies? He sells them for a grossly exaggerated price to make himself a handsome profit. Somebody stop him. Please?

12-21-2015, 08:30 PM
Punishment: The IRS collects its share of the profits...plus interest and penalties as the SC didn't pay the large profits tax....after which the state revenue department hits the SC for back income and sales taxes.

Crime: SC throws a fit while trying to pass a check even after bouncing a dozen before.

Lace Neil Singer
12-22-2015, 10:38 AM
Punishment: The SC is obviously unable to handle money, so their checkbook and card are confiscated and they have to live on cash pocket money doled out once a week.

Crime: Snow is forecast, so the SC buys every single bottle of milk in the store, making old people and families lose out.

12-22-2015, 06:55 PM
Punishment: Anonymous hacks SC's card and makes it unable to work and wouldn't you know it SC has no cash so the old people and families get the milk

Crime: SC steals a kid's bike from in front of their house

12-22-2015, 07:29 PM
Punishment: Stealing a kid's bike from in front of their house? During the garage sale, no less! How horrible. But never fear, Karma's here. Mr. Thief drops his wallet while stealing the bike. If he wants his wallet back, he must return the bike. And the police will be notified either way.

Crime: Look! Up on the ledge! It's Superfan, at the stadium, having had too much to drink at the big game today! And there he is now, with Lois Loud, though seeing as she doesn't want to be up on the ledge with him right now, she rather has a right to be, don't you think? If this is what superheroes are like, I'd hate to see the villains.

Alternate Crime: Here she comes, Miss Amessica. Spill this, break that. It's a one-woman show of sheer desolation all over the now more like inconvenience store. And that's just her. Her kids are just as bad, all four of them. Help.

12-22-2015, 08:54 PM
Punishment and Alternate Punishment: Superfan spots Miss Amessica and her children messing up the stadium and jumps to pursue them, leaving Lois Loud to be helped down and arrested by the proper authorities. Superfan, however, falls, but Miss Amessica breaks his fall, dying while splattering blood and breaking ribs and traumatizing her kids. Superfan survives with lots of broken bones but attempts to sue the bar that served him for serving him hidden kryptonite. He loses, and is sued by Miss Amessica's family for wrongful death.

Crime: Superfan's sidekick, Fanboy Wonder, tries to break Lois Loud out of the holding cell where the police are keeping her by breaking into the police station.

12-22-2015, 09:09 PM
OOG: Oh dear. All of a sudden, I feel like Lex Luthor.

12-23-2015, 01:17 PM
Punishment: Fanboy wonder is thrown into a cell of the meanest burrlyest guys alive

Crime: SC pushes a wheelchair bound person away from an elevator so they can use it first

12-23-2015, 02:57 PM
Punishment: Oh look, here comes Tiny the Hell's Angel (http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showpost.php?p=1298200&postcount=91), and he doesn't look happy. Say, that was Tiny's cousin the SC pushed out of the way? How interesting...ooh, that had to hurt! :popcorn:

Crime: SC lets their kids roughhouse in the store, climb on the shelves and throw things at people, then threatens to sue the store when one of them gets injured.

12-23-2015, 06:59 PM
Punishment: store allows the lawsuit to proceed and gets richer when the video footage is shown in court and SC has to pay for EVERYTHING and is banned from store grounds

Crime:SC took all the frozen and fresh seafood ignoring a sign explaining a limit per person

12-24-2015, 12:34 AM
Punishment: Since SC runs a seafood restaurant, which is the reason for all this shopping, she is sued by her customers when the power to her kitchen goes out and all of the food that she bought turned bad and made them sick.

Crime: Superfan recovers and he and his buddy, Batfan The Dork Knight, duel in a family restaurant over who is the best hero. Food, wine, beer, glasses, cutlery, dishes and chairs are thrown, tables are used as shields and panicked parents shield their children from getting hurt. Superfan and the Dork Knight then stop and approach the kids and ask them "Who is the better hero?"

12-24-2015, 12:44 AM
Punishment: Everyone has a new favorite hero after that, Wonderful Woman, who didn't exactly fight either of the men, but did protect the children with her power to deflect flying glass and cutlery as she helped their parents lead them to safety, and all the while recording the fight on her cellphone camera so the cops could see exactly what went down. "From now on, I'm strictly a kid-rescuer."

Crime: SC decides that he just must have the chocolate chip cookies, and ignores the janitor who is busily mopping up a massive and dangerous broken glass spill. Ignoring the wet floor cones and the salsa, absorbent powder, broken glass, and the mop water, the SC berates the janitor for stopping him from getting his cookies.
"How can I slip and fall and file a big lawsuit if you insist on trying to stop me from walking on the salsa or the mop water?"

Lace Neil Singer
12-24-2015, 06:45 PM
Punishment: SC has to take over the janitor's job and clean the entire store for free; the paycheck still goes to the janitor.

Crime: The announcement goes out that the store is closed, yet the SC is still browsing, ignoring the call to come to the tills. Ten minutes later, she is still there.

12-25-2015, 03:29 AM
Punishment: A tired store employee accidentally locks SC inside when closing up the store. SC calls police, but since they're busy with other emergencies, no one bothers to check on her until the store opens the next business day.

Crime: SC cleans out an all-you-can eat buffet, ignoring the 2-hour seating time limit, hogging all of the food and being a jerk about it.

12-26-2015, 09:24 PM
Punishment:The restaurant serves the SC a special chocolate lax cake and then locks the bathroom doors so SC is forced to leave that second

Crime:SC gets drunk and streaks through a mall eluding security and police then escapes into the night

12-26-2015, 09:34 PM
Punishment: His escape doesn't exactly get too far because everyone dropped what they were doing and used their cellphone cameras. As soon as he escaped into the night, it was posted all over the Internet. After that, he was easy to find.

Crime: An SC brings his sons to a national park, with a legitimate ticket for a weekend camping trip. So far nothing's wrong, right? Just wait. SC decides that they're going to burn their trash, and does so carelessly. Now he's started a rampaging forest fire. Oh, won't someone think of those poor animals?

12-26-2015, 11:26 PM
Punishment: Smokey Bear and his buddy Tiny the Hell's Angel show up to teach this family why being careless with campfires is a bad idea. Afterwards, Daddy has to pay the massive bill for the fire departments who battled and finally contained the blaze.

Crime: SC tries on every nail polish in the store, and dumps the ones she doesn't like all over the floor.

12-26-2015, 11:55 PM
Punishment: SC is forced to mop up all the stains and is then banned from all cosmetics stores in the world.

Crime: After watching Mrs. Christmas-Freak on the news, SC decides to emulate her by yelling at a store clerk, throwing stuff around and threatening violence after said clerk told him (yes, him) that Christmas was over and that it was Boxing Day now.

12-27-2015, 02:43 AM
Punishment: The video footage from the incident is published to the internet. When caught, SC is forced to model a green dress, red pantyhose, and white high heel shoes. Those pictures are also published to the internet.

Crime: SC decides that he is going to use a display toilet in the hardware store in the way it was designed.

12-27-2015, 06:01 PM
Punishment: SC has a new toilet and a lifetime ban from the hardware store he can use after he gets out of jail.

Crime: SC twerks in the middle of a busy store for a badly made booyou video

12-28-2015, 12:55 AM
Punishment: SC continues to twerk all the way out the door, where they slip on the ice and go sliding downhill, at increasingly high speed. They survive, but their legs do not. Happy Holidays.

Crime: Cell phone cameras can do wonderful things, I guess. They can do terrible things, too, such as record people in line before you who are paying for their things by signing their name on the dotted line and punching in pin numbers. Why would you want to record such information? To shop in their name without their consent, of course. All night long. Just ask Joker Wildcard.

12-28-2015, 01:58 AM
Punishment: Batfan the Dork Knight is an expert hacker, so he hacks into Joker's phone and deletes all the videos before Joker could even upload them into the Deep Web. Then Batfan alerts his cronies in the Deep Web and pays them handsomely to beat Joker up live on their webshow.

Crime: Superfangirl, cousin of Superfan, is at the opera house watching the Nutcracker Suite. When the Mouse King arrives to attack the Nutcracker, Superfangirl leaps from her seat and from seat to seat onto the stage to fight him and his mouse minions off, beating them all bloody with musical instruments, tossing music books at the King and his minions, and leaving a very scared Nutcracker and Clara and a much more annoyed audience.

12-29-2015, 04:40 AM
Punishment: Superfangirl gets to pay for the instruments she used to beat off the actors. Then the actors will put mouse traps of various parts of her body for the audience's amusement.

Crime: SC relieves himself by taking a dump off the stern of the ferry in full view of the other passengers.

12-29-2015, 06:55 AM
Then the actors will put mousebear traps of various parts of her body for the audience's amusement.

Fixed that for you.:D

Punishment: Rogue wave hits the ferry, SC loses his balance, and falls overboard. Surprisingly, none of the people who were offended by his crime (and saw the fall) bothered to report the incident to the crew, so "Man Overboard" procedures were not initiated. The body was never found.

Crime: SC "returns" the expensive electronic device they purchased at $Big_Box_Store, except that they've removed the device and substituted worthless stuff of roughly the same weight, and re-shrink-wrapped it. The customer service person (straight out of CoC forum) sees that it's shrink-wrapped, assumes it's unopened, and processes the return without bothering to check the contents.

12-29-2015, 07:10 AM
Punishment: The CS is written up and the SC tracked down and arrested.

Crime: SC kicks someone in the juevos to get the last [insert item here]

12-29-2015, 11:38 PM
Punishment: The SC gets a swift kick in the nose and juevos.

Crime: SC tries to return a pair of panties that were destroyed by her much bigger husband when he tried them on.

12-30-2015, 05:58 PM
Punishment: The refund is refused...but an exchange is available in the fetishist's size.:devil:

Crime: The SC storms into the store swearing up a storm only to find out that "genius" has the wrong address.

12-31-2015, 02:59 AM
Punishment: SC gets arrested when he tries to enter the wrong house.

Crime: SC tries to get Rose fired because she is dating her girlfriend, Kaori.

Punishment: The refund is refused...but an exchange is available in the fetishist's size.:devil:

That might not be a punishment. :lol:

12-31-2015, 08:13 PM
Punishment: The SC is fired as a client by the Dragon Ladies. Never mess with professional trainers at a gym . . .

Crime: The Healther Than Thou club is back, terrorizing restaurants by demanding they get rid of their good tasting but greasy food in favor of the healthier but bland and icky menu favored by the Healthier Than Thous, and playing suppervisor to people who don't care to have their food choices questioned, or just plain thrown away and replaced with salads they didn't ask for.

12-31-2015, 08:34 PM
Punishment: The club has been taken over by feederists. The members are forced to eat fattening foods until they are forced to change their name to the Heavier than Thou club.

Crime: SC wants to buy a blouse for the sale price despite the fact the sale ended two weeks ago.

12-31-2015, 08:47 PM
Punishment: If she wants it half off when it's no longer on sale, she can have if half off. Would she prefer the right half of the blouse, or the left half of the blouse? To get the whole thing, she must pay full price and a re-stitching fee.

Crime: The SC doesn't like the sex, violence, swearing, or much of the plot in a G movie they rented for their kids. So they edit the movie on their own to remove the parts they find offensive, and don't bother to inform the video store that they've done this. It isn't discovered until the next person rents it.

01-01-2016, 01:50 AM
Punishment: 7 days straight of watching what was left on the cutting room floor after a Star Wars fan made "The Phantom Edit". That's right - nothing but Jar Jar Binks for a whole week.

Crime: SC parks their car at the fuel pump (doesn't buy fuel) and goes inside to do business in the convenience store. Their "business" includes taking a dump, so they're blocking the pump for at least half an hour. Of the 6 pumps at this gas station, they're blocking the ONLY one that has diesel. A lot of dually pickup (and VW TDI) owners are pissed off.

01-01-2016, 03:24 AM
Punishment: One of the Diesel trucks is Argabarga's tow truck, ...

Crime: SC is wearing a dress and isn't keeping his legs closed.

01-01-2016, 09:02 PM
Punishment: Deadpool is nearby and just found out Taco Bell was closed. The SC wakes up in the hospital from 70 stab wounds that barely missed vital parts except the Juevos.

Crime: SC tries to leave the hospital without telling anybody to go eat foods that put them in the hospital.

01-01-2016, 10:34 PM
Punishment: Tiny has the assignment to make sure SC doesn't leave his room. Tiny is 6'5", 400 lbs. of pure muscle.

Crime: SC keeps yelling at the movie screen warning Vin Diesel that Mel Gibson is trying to kill him.

01-02-2016, 06:28 PM
Punishment: Mel Gibson magically appears out of the screen and slaps SC until they cry for mommy

Crime: Plays their music in the car loud enough for it to not only be loud outside with the windows up and from 100 yards away but to the point you can understand every word in the rap

01-03-2016, 02:58 AM
Punishment: Has to endure a 100 hour marathon of Barney the Purple Dinosaur at the same volume level as the rap music.

Crime: As SC eats his Krabby Patty, he hides pickle slices under his tongue, accusing Spongebob of forgetting the pickle slices and thus, scamming Mr. Krabs out of a free Krabby Patty, making Spongebob go home and cry and thus, resulting in everyone else eating crappy Krabby Patties made by Squidward.

01-03-2016, 03:13 AM
Punishment: Force him to eat at the Chum Bucket.

Crime: SC keeps putting his bare feet on the shoe salesman's face.

01-03-2016, 10:56 AM
Punishment: Tiny the Hell's Angel, back from a ten-hour ride, takes his sweaty boots off and puts his stinking feet on the SC's face.

Crime: SC smears his bodily wastes all over the bathroom.

01-03-2016, 10:15 PM
Punishment: SC has to clean the entire store dressed in a French maid's outfit while photographers take pictures. Those pictures are published to the internet.

Crime: SC decides that it would be a good idea to go grocery shopping naked.

01-03-2016, 11:23 PM
Punishment: Mother Nature is not pleased and sends a nice big blizzard his way.

Crime: SC goes the laundromat, not to wash their own clothes since they didn't bring any, but to walk away with everyone else's nice, clean, dry laundry.

01-04-2016, 09:12 PM
Punishment: Cue the rainstorm and a big splash of mud all over the laundry that SC has pilfered as well as onto the clothes on SC's back, as SC goes to his car.

Crime: When a cashier says that it won't scan, SC responds with "It must be free!" After a few guffaws, though, SC puts on a straight face, pulls out a gun and says, "I mean it. Give it to me for free, or else!"

01-05-2016, 08:26 AM
Punishment: In walks the biggest cop you've ever seen, ...

Crime: Female SC complements another customer on her wig then grabs it, trying to yank it off. The other customer isn't wearing a wig. :eek:

01-05-2016, 11:49 PM
Punishment: The hair turns out to be full of bees who have misinterpreted it as a hive. They've made peace with the woman wearing them, but never met the SC before. Sorry, honey, but this queen has a real sting.

Crime: A teenage boy is angry at DC Marvel that they've killed his favorite character to replace him with a new version, who happens to be of a different race. So he goes to the comic book section of the store with a bottle of peach paint and corrects every new edition of the comic he can find to restore his hero to the way he should be, instantly transforming him into an SC.
Of course, peach acrylic paint doesn't always stay where it's applied, and has a tendency to drip off the brush in transit.

Alt Crime: A woman loves zombie movies considerably. So she decides to go to a costume party at the big book store dressed as her favorite one. She's not the SC here. He's coming next. You see, while she's decided to play zombie at the party, he's decided to play cowboy there, and the bullets he shoots into her head upon seeing her are not playthings, but all too real . . .

01-07-2016, 10:22 PM
Punishment 1: Some of the students of the local beauty school get to use him for practice. They make him look like the girliest teenager. Then he becomes the face of the beauty school. SC will need to get the paint stains out of his clothing using rubbing alcohol.

Punishment 2: The lady's friends throw a necktie social (https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Necktie_social&redirect=no) in the cowboy's "honor" by the nearest tree.

Crime: Two SCs are harassing other customers while imitating "Bevis and Butthead."

01-07-2016, 11:49 PM
Punishment: SC is smashed into a wheel stop until they resemble one or the other

Crime: SC yells at a guy for not holding the door open for her when she was 100 yards away

01-08-2016, 05:54 PM
Punishment: Door smacks SC in the face when she tries to leave.

Crime: SC walks into a bank wearing an obvious disguise in January. He refuses to remove his mask and gloves before making a transaction with the teller. SC makes a scene when asked to remove the mask. Note: SC is not robbing the bank.

01-08-2016, 06:10 PM
Punishment: SC is tackled hard by several patrons and won't have to worry about the cold.....or spring and summer's out

Crime: SC and family walk out of a fast food place leaving a mess

01-08-2016, 07:49 PM
Punishment: The fast food place's staff go to the family's home, eat, and make quite a mess. Then they leave and don't clean up at all.

Crime: SC's idea of a tip is to tell the waitress to go get a real job after she serves them and their family a ten-course meal with finicky diners and frequent order changes on the busiest Sunday of the year.

01-08-2016, 10:29 PM
Crime: SC and family walk out of a fast food place leaving a mess

But if the fast food place is on a naval base, you CAN'T walk out without leaving a mess.:D

Punishment: SC gets laid off, only jobs he can find are (his opinion) not "real jobs" in the retail/service sector, and he finds out how hard they actually are.

Crime: SC doesn't want anyone else wearing the same gown at her prom, so she gathers up the rest of the dresses in the same style, takes them to the fitting room, and urinates on them. After the prom, she returns her dress and shoes, saying "they didn't fit properly".

01-08-2016, 10:41 PM
Punishment: Of course she did. Every other girl at the prom was dressed just like her, but they got the dress at lower prices, thanks to online ordering. She's not only barred from returning her dress and shoes, her parents have to pay for the clothes she ruined. Not to mention that she's arrested for vandalism.

Crime: SC is so disgusted at losing all his money at the poker game that he overturns the table and picks up other people's casino chips so he can get his money back.

01-09-2016, 12:04 AM
But if the fast food place is on a naval base, you CAN'T walk out without leaving a mess.:D

According to MASH that is the wrong type of FAST food :lol:

Punishment: SC is caught on camera stealing and runs smack dab into a bouncer who lifts SC and tosses them into a waiting police car.

Crime: SC likes the hot sauce at the restaurant so much they "Borrow" 10 or 30 bottles.

01-09-2016, 02:07 AM
Punishment: SC is fed Da Bomb: Ground Zero. :flame:

Crime: SC yells at the staff of the club because they won't refund his money. He wants a refund because he didn't get lucky. :rolleyes:

01-09-2016, 04:21 AM
Punishment: Mr T throws SC out of the club and into the Hudson River without clothing HEH HEH HEH

Crime: SC watches Elfen Lied in a public place [very violent and nudity]

01-12-2016, 12:52 PM
Punishment: Someone else sees it and ... :puke: all over SC computer.

Crime: SC wants the cashier to meet him in the back so he can "come in the rear."

01-12-2016, 04:36 PM
Punishment:SC is kicked hard in the juevos by Tiny the Hell's Angels biker and becomes Ms. SC

Crime: SC joins a group and goes around with them picketting funerals

01-12-2016, 05:36 PM
Punishment: The hearse swerves and hits SC.

Crime: SC takes small child to gory horror and demands refund and that cinema pay for therapy for traumatizing child.

01-12-2016, 07:10 PM
Punishment: Child re-enacts the most vicious attack in the movie on their parent right there in front of everyone.

Crime: SC doesn't like the flowers in the flower shops, nor the home and garden shops, not even at Mal-Mart and its rivals. She decides to improve them by introducing plants that she finds absolutely heavenly. This includes palmer amaranth, Oriental bittersweet, brown knapweed, yellow star thistle, meadow knapweed, black swallow-wort, Grecian foxglove, common teasel, cut-leaved teasel, giant hogweed, Japanese hops, and dalmatian toadflax to every store that sells plants in town. Now there's a much wider selection to choose from . . .

01-12-2016, 08:15 PM
Punishment: SC's back yard gets eaten by kudzu.

Crime: SC is recklessly doing stunts with his grocery cart in the store.

01-12-2016, 08:32 PM
Punishment: Stunts can go rather badly when you're playing with your shopping trolley (no pun allowed) in the glassware isle. Or should I say it's a real cut-up?

Crime: SC goes on a cruise and throws their spouse overboard when a great white is nearby. Luckily, this great white a really great white who returns the spouse to the boat and is as disgusted with the SC as everyone aboard the boat is, including the spouse.

01-13-2016, 07:58 PM
Punishment: The great white shark gladly gives the wife back to the ship's crew in exchange for the husband, who's much bigger and has more tasty flesh for the shark to eat.

Crime: Local grassroots organization sees the exchange taking place and boycotts the cruise line for cruelty to sharks.

01-14-2016, 02:14 AM
punishment: The sharks all team up and destroy the groups boat

Crime: SC sprinkles when they tinkle but doesn't wipe the seat

01-14-2016, 02:19 AM
Punishment: SC is forced to clean their mess with their bare hands.

Crime: SC is yelling at the staff at the outdoors store because the boots show the motto, "Take a hike!"

01-14-2016, 11:34 AM
Punishment: SC happens to be a franchisee at "Royal Burger", and his restaurant is targeted by thousands of SCs demanding to "Have it their way". Of course, those SCs are cheapskates, so "their way" means free.

Crime: At supermarket, SC wants a box of Clementines, and takes one Clementine out of each of half a dozen other boxes to add to his.

01-14-2016, 03:42 PM
Punishment: SC is seen on camera and just for him prices are tripled and go done right after his transaction

Crime: SC taste tests the cherries in the store

01-14-2016, 06:20 PM
Punishment: SC has to weigh and pay for each cherry in a bag singularly

Crime: SC refuses to reboot when calling into tech support

01-14-2016, 06:25 PM
Punishment: Vinnie the leg breaker goes straight ... to the SC's house and tells him that either he can reboot, or ...

Crime: SC yells at the delivery driver. The driver accidentally brings out the wrong order, but brings the correct order almost immediately.

01-18-2016, 02:35 AM
Punishment: The SC must accompany the driver for the rest of the night to learn how demanding the job seems to be.

Crime: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the chapel . . . well, . . . er. In all the vast depths of the population, how could there have been only one? Uh, one bad spouse-to-be deserves another. See him before you get married? Oh sod it, I'll just come right to the point.

After the sensational release of Bridezilla to the church, what could possibly more terrifying than Groomzilla? The terror continues. None of man's fantasies of evil can compare with the reality of Groomzilla.

01-18-2016, 03:01 AM
Punishment: Groomzilla is forced to get approval for all of his choices from the Mother-of-the-Bridezilla, who hates his guts. None of man's evil fantasies may compare to Groomzilla, but even he is no match for his future mother-in-law!

Crime: SC works in retail so SC knows how things should go in a store, and lets the hapless clerks know about in a loud, booming voice when he doesn't get his way.

01-18-2016, 03:41 AM
Punishment: This is not Burger King. The SC's don't get to have it their way. How would they like it if the staff from this store showed up and treated them in the exact same manner? Which is, of course, what happens.

Crime: SC brings their dog, and their dog's fleas, everywhere they go. SC does not bring the dog's leash (or any means of cleaning up their waste) anywhere they go. You don't have to be a cat to know this is a bad idea . . .

Alt Crime: SC decides he simply must take his children ride the orca, even though the park's marine biologist told him that he doesn't like people he doesn't know and that orcas are also known as killer whales for a very good reason . . .

01-28-2016, 05:20 AM
Punishments: SC1 has to clean the bags of flaming dog poo left behind by SC1's angry neighbors.
SC2 gets fish slapped.

Crime: SC is in the men's shoe section, putting the men's shoes to her face and sniffing them.

02-03-2016, 07:17 PM
Punishment: This particular bad doggie is hit by a rolled up newspaper, and her owner is told to get her out of the store before she chews the shoes up or makes a mess on the carpet.

Crime: SC brings expired Mal-Greens coupons to Mal-Mart, and throws a temper tantrum when they can't be used. When they finally escort her out, she is so livid that she goes to the employee parking lot and sprays re-icer on all the card windows.

02-07-2016, 12:10 AM
Punishment: Someone "accidentally" spills paint on her windshield.

Crime: SC plays death metal on the speakers at a restaurant during Valentine's Day.

02-07-2016, 12:50 AM
Punishment: SC's neighbours play Barry Manilow at full volume 24/7.

Crime: SC, being a top-tier rewards member, shows up as a walk-in when every hotel in town is fully booked due to a major event, and demands that a "peon's" reservation be cancelled so they can get a room.

02-07-2016, 12:59 AM
Punishment: There's one room that has no occupants, and when the employee won't give it to the SC, he turns to the manager. Naturally, the manager folds and offers several discounts. Why am I making it worse? I'm not finished yet. The reason the employee wouldn't let him have the room is because the room is that room, where Cassie was murdered and is now Cassie the unfriendly ghost. She only comes out when someone who doesn't work there intrudes upon "her" room. Time to scream.

Crime: Speaking of hotel rooms, another SC in another hotel in another . . . well, you get the idea, decides to ask permission to bring her service dog with her. This is allowed. So she brings her service dog. And her boyfriend. And his five pit bull puppies who aren't even paper-trained yet . . . and by the way, they love to smoke, but don't care to pay attention to their toddler.

I daresay, these people aren't the salt of the earth, they're the mold and mildew. I feel grimy just writing their existence. Somebody do something!

02-07-2016, 01:21 AM
Punishment: CPS and Animal Control officers come to take away the child and the dogs. Even the "service" dog is taken away once staff realizes that SC doesn't have any disabilities and was lying. Turns out the only "service" that the dog provides was of the sexual variety, so SC and her boyfriend are thrown in jail on charges of animal cruelty and child neglect.

Crime: Holier-than-thou "Christian" SC threatens to burn all Muslims and Jews at the stake and stake all Catholics and non-believers because the restaurant where SC is eating doesn't serve pork and served SC's chicken too rare.

Alt-Crime: SC orders meat at a vegan restaurant. When told that this is a vegan restaurant, SC then forces his way into the kitchen, steals a kitchen knife and proceeds to carve up one of the chefs, since his craving for meat is just that strong.

02-09-2016, 04:03 AM
Punishment: SC1 accidentally sets fire to his clothes after setting SC2 on fire.

Crime: SC puts a weight on the accelerator of a golf cart and abandons it to drive in a crowd of people.

02-10-2016, 01:27 PM
Punishment: the cart hits a curb and pulls a 180 and runs down SC breaking their spine leaving them paralyzed from the neck down and a brain injury leaves them mute.

Crime: SC farts in elevator just as someone gets on.

02-10-2016, 05:08 PM
Punishment: The person getting on the elevator weighs 800 lbs, hasn't bathed in years, and it's a hot, humid summer day. And a fifty floor ride.

Crime: SC stuffs merchandise into her baby's stroller, and when caught shoplifting, claims the baby took the merchandise.

02-12-2016, 04:37 PM
Punishment: SC is slapped with 7 halibut at which point they are told their theft attempts were caught on tape

Crime: SC dances naked on the roof of a bank and jammed the door shut

02-12-2016, 05:32 PM
Punishment: The skyclad SC discovers that dancing on banks is a bad idea in the middle of a lightning storm. When the bolt hits, the SC is as shocked as everyone else is.

Crime: Mrs. SC just loves her new hairdo at Because It's Worth It Salon. She raves to the staff about how beautiful her hair turned out. There's nothing wrong with that, is there? Of course, it's me writing this, so it's bound to turn bad. Here it comes. Mr. SC loves the new hairdo, too, but doesn't care for a hairdo that costs six figures (including cents). So he demands she go back and get a refund. She readily complies, expecting to be treated like royalty as the manager, she thinks, will bend over backwards to please her since her haircut was so horrible, she's ashamed to be seen in public, I tell you! So, to make a wrong story short, Mr. and Mrs. SC conspire to demand that all the money for the haircut be refunded, and to ensure it, are ready to flood social media and the local news with bad publicity if she doesn't get her money back, and more.

(In short, she loved her haircut until her husband saw the bill. He was mad about how much money she wasted, and so she returns to the salon claiming that she hates her new hairdo, that it's ruined her socially, and that refunding the money and providing free haircuts is the very least they can do.)

02-14-2016, 09:34 PM
Punishment: After going to Mr. and Mrs. SC are banned from every salon in the world, forcing Mr. SC to style Mrs. SC's hair for the rest of his life.

Crime: Rich SC brings his exotic pet tigers and lions into the mall, reasoning that since the sign only shows a picture of a dog, that "no pets" really mean "no dogs", and the animals cause mischief and mayhem throughout the mall.

Lace Neil Singer
02-15-2016, 01:17 AM
Punishment: The tigers and lions are rehomed at a safari park where they are much happier, and the SC is forced to walk all the dogs in the neighbourhood for free, for an entire year.

Crime: The SC constantly harrasses employees who are on break, demanding that they stop eating lunch and serve her NOW.

02-15-2016, 01:45 AM
Punishment: The employees harass her on her lunch break.

Crime: SC tries to make a male clerk to grab her breasts against his will.

02-17-2016, 12:31 AM
Punishment: The male clerk uses the SC as a human shield against the Creepy, Ugly and Smelly Old Guy who'll have sex with anything that moves.

Crime: After a year of dog-walking, the rich SC, known to all as Rich Bastard, doesn't learn his lesson, and brings all of his pet pythons, cobras, anacondas and all other snakes to the mall. He then throws live mice from a bag onto the floor so that his precious pets wouldn't go hungry.

02-22-2016, 12:18 AM
Punishment: Luckily, a snake-charmer is in the mall. He turns the snakes against Rich Bastard, and then lulls them to sleep so they can be taken away safely and brought to a proper place.

Crime: Jack is cunning. Jack is slick.
Jack overturned the candlestick.
With a candle in it, setting his whole house aflame.
Why? So short of cash Jack can win an arson insurance claim.

Alternate crime: Jack's waitress ex-wife pawned her heirloom jewels, including her wedding ring.
She bought medicine for their sickly child, whom she valued more than her bling.
Jack promised her he would get them all back, though she didn't believe his oath.
He proved himself by using a candlestick to shatter the pawn shop's window . . .

02-23-2016, 12:57 AM
Punishments: Jack is convicted of arson and insurance fraud, and his ex-wife sues him for alimony and child support.

Crime: Rich Bastard recovers, but still doesn't learn his lesson. He brings a whole herd of elephants into the mall. The elephants charge the mall and tear down doors and walls, leaving panicked shoppers to run and hide.

02-23-2016, 04:04 AM
Punishment: The mice are still there, and if there's one thing elephants are scared of, it's mice. Can you say ouchie, Rich Bastard? I knew you could.

Crime: A married couple leave their kids at home and bring their fight with them, complete with picking up and throwing whatever they can find at each other. All over Japan's China shop. And you thought Rich Bastard and his menagerie were bad. Somebody do something.

02-26-2016, 12:47 AM
Punishment: Married couple is forced to commit seppuku (ritual suicide) and have friends sell all their organs on the black market to pay back the Japanese china shop.

Crime: To get credit for lots of credit-card sign-ups, and to ensure good sales, sucky manager (SM):

Forces his cashiers to force people to pay only with the store credit card. These cashiers comply because it's do this or you're fired and they need the money.
Hires people to guard the doors and lines in case people try to leave without buying something.

If that happens, guards are to:
manhandle customers,
grab random items off the shelf,
rifle through customers' pockets and purses, and
pay with the store card, gluing a pen to each customer's right hand and scrawling whatever name they see fit on the receipt.

After that, guards are to:
drag customers down to the basement,
put them in specially made padded cells,
lock them up, feeding them sporadically, and
bring them out only to buy more stuff with the card, leaving their poor families with the large credit-card bills.

Orders the people manning the customer service desk to refuse all returns, and
Hires hypnotists as greeters and customer service people to hypnotize people into buying their stuff with the store credit card, if all else fails.

02-28-2016, 02:39 AM
Punishment: Mother Nature is so angry with all this, she causes an earthquake to knock the store flat down into a million little pieces.

Crime: An ultra-rich family, who, if they had any class at all, would be barbarian, hire a housekeeper to scrub their home from top to bottom. But they simply refuse to let the woman work, getting in her way, won't quit hitting on her, and undoing all the work she was able to do, then castigate her for being the worst housekeeper they've ever met. They won't even pay her. Does justice exist only as a tarot card?

02-28-2016, 01:22 PM
Punishment: The housekeeper is a very powerful witch, who turns the family into cockroaches, stomps on them, and robs the house.

Crime: SC is trying to return stolen merchandise and pitches a screaming fit because she isn't getting cash back.

Lace Neil Singer
02-28-2016, 06:06 PM
Punishment: Right behind her in the queue is the policeman who's been looking for her, cuz there's a warrant out for her arrest!

Crime: SC leaves her kids in the store cafe cuz she doesn't want them with her when she shops. The kids proceed to wreck the cafe.

02-28-2016, 08:29 PM
Punishment: The kids are mistaken for escaped primates and animal control comes and deposits them inside of a cage at the city zoo.

Crime: The SC hires a plumber to repair his pipes, which now seem to spread filthy water all over his house rather than down into the sewer system. The problem is, since the plumber they sent is a woman, he constantly tries to 'correct' her as she works and questions her every move to the point where she wants to hit him with a filthy lead pipe.

02-29-2016, 09:26 PM
Punishment: The woman steps aside and lets SC do his own plumbing, refusing to budge until he thinks he gets it done. Then when the pipes burst the next day, the SC calls to complain to the owner. Guess who's the owner? The woman, so she rips him a new one and tells him that no one, not even the pizza guy, not even the newspaper delivery person, will ever step foot into his house ever again, and that his mail has been put on hold, so he has to go to the nearest post office to get help. She then proceeds to sue him for gender discrimination, and, because she keeps notes of everything that happens when she works, she's successful. The SC now owes her millions of dollars in damages and is now out on the street because of his sexism.

Crime: Sucky Patient demands to see a nurse. When a male nurse comes in, he throws things at him, demanding to see a female nurse because, according to him, nursing is "women's work".

03-01-2016, 05:07 AM
Punishment: SC gets his stones checked by Nurse Gertrude "Iron Grip" Eisenfaust. :eek:

Crime: Male SC keeps trying to use one pathetic pickup line after another to a female customer at a laundromat.

03-01-2016, 06:09 AM
Punishment: She stuffs him in the nearest washing machine and sets it to hot, making sure to put plenty of soap to clean him up.

Crime: SC is so angry at the library for not having a wet bar, and so stupid that he believes he must pay for books instead of checking them out, that he steals the books he wants from the library. He just walks out the door with them, without checking them out. He's not even going to return them! Shouldn't something be done?

03-08-2016, 05:06 PM
Punishment: BOOKMAN defender of books throws a bookarang at the man clocking him out cold and then the man comes to in a jail cell charged with theft, public intoxication, and public indecency since he forgot his pants at home.

Crime: SC talks on their cell phone during a movie being as loud as can be then complains to the theater it was too loud to have a conversation and they should be given a refund and a remote to control the volume of the movie forever.

03-14-2016, 09:09 PM
Punishment: He is required to pay for the refunds for everyone else in the movie, who glare and glower at him angrily. They are also permitted to play ball with his phone.

Crime: At Peaceful Farms petting zoo, everyone goes there to have a good time and relax with the sweet, cute animals and their careful, loving tenders. So what could possibly go wrong? Well, here comes the Nuclear family, who are very explosive and can't get along with each other, or, for that matter, anyone else. Every single member is like their own ticking atom bomb, so if you put them together . . . Someone defuse this situation, quick!

Alt crime: Tina Ger is at it again. This time, she and her drunken friends are in a car at the storage building. The sign says 5 miles per hour, because of all the blind turns at the storage compound. Tina and her friends insist that it said 50. Now they've hit someone.

03-15-2016, 08:57 PM
Punishment: Rich Bastard strikes again, buying the entire zoo and shooing everyone out, threatening to sue anyone who stayed.

Alt Punishment: Tina and her friends unfortunately hit Rich Bastard's wife. Mr. and Mrs. Bastard then press charges and hire the best lawyer in the world to represent them in their lawsuit against Tina Ger and her friends, and win millions of dollars in damages.

Crime: The Bastard family celebrate their victory against Tina Ger by crashing her favourite mall with all the animals that came with the zoo that Rich Bastard just bought. Panic ensues! Somebody do something!

03-23-2016, 12:06 AM
Punishment: Rich Bastard becomes hit by lawsuits by everyone who was harmed by the animals, reducing him and his family to Poor Bastard.

Crime: SC doesn't like her coffee. So she spits it out at the bar, all over other people's coffees.

03-28-2016, 07:50 PM
Punishment: She better hope that Kaldi (http://labzerogames.com/indiv-incarnations/#kaldi), the knife-throwing coffee grower, doesn't find out about it.

Crime: SC throws his napkin at the waitress to get her attention.

04-17-2016, 04:15 PM
Punishment: He gets her attention all right, along with the bouncer's. Bye bye.

Crime: Consumer goes to Subwet and pays for his meal with a gift card. The problem is, he leaves with his food before the staff discovers that the card is completely depleted. He's already out the door and they can't catch up. Someone stop the sandwich-oriented cousin to Hamburgler.

05-11-2016, 11:33 PM
Punishment: In his haste, he runs into a car. The car drives off, destroying his food. Now, nobody can eat his pilfered lunch.

Crime: A pervert in the library has been painting exposed toenails a garish green color.

05-14-2016, 09:34 PM
Punishment: Tiny the bouncer who ripped hi shoe open is the next and final victim before the pervert is seen rocketing through the door and 3 fences

Crime: PETAMAN the super zero jumps into a whale pool to protest the marine park.

05-15-2016, 10:55 PM
Punishment: I cast Redirect. He jumped into the shark pool instead. Which is good, as they were getting hungry.

Crime: SC buys bacon-scented Louseup disinfectant and sprays it, finding that she loves the scent. But, Kristev, that's not sucky. Okay, let's try this. She goes to the fruits and vegetables in the store and sprays Louseup all over the whole lot of them before selecting the handful she wants because she thinks this will make her kids eat their fruits and vegetables. And she blithely goes to the register, spraying Louseup at random people.

But disinfectant is poison, for one thing, and nobody wants to have a woman show up and surprise them with an aerosol spray. And I don't think she'll stop when the can is depleted. Plus, if she sprays it too much, does that qualify as huffing, and she's subjecting the whole store to it. Help!

06-21-2016, 03:09 AM
Punishment: SC gets her face shoved into the hot peppers while she's getting arrested. :burneyes:

Crime: SC tries to test the bondage gear on the female clerk. She complains to the manager about the "rude clerk."

Lace Neil Singer
06-30-2016, 12:39 PM
Punishment: The SC is then tied up and left there while the clerks get to throw all the rotten fruit at her.

Crime: A woman who happens to be a vegetarian and a nutjob reduces a young McDonalds worker to tears by ranting and raving to her about how cruel McDonalds is by selling meat products.

06-30-2016, 01:22 PM
Punishment: My SC ties your SC up and feeds her those rotten fruit.

Crime: An old man is sitting in a restaurant. He uses his cane to trip every little kid that walks past. He thinks this is hilarious.

06-30-2016, 03:15 PM
Punishment: Oh, it's a scream all right. Right up until he trips the brat from Hell, who takes the cane and beats him with it. Not that his parents care. Stopping him would mean having to pay attention to their precious boy.

Crime: Mr. Tim P. Tation goes out and gets five dozen boxes of cookies. But Kristev, that might be excessive, but it's not awful. Yes it is, because he's bringing them to the Cookieholics Anonymous meeting, where everyone, including him, pays high fees to be free of a cookie addiction. He means to recoup his money by selling the cookies to the others. Have you any idea how far this will set everyone back? What can be done?

Alt. Crime: SC is against aspartame and artificial sweeteners. And sugar. So while they're at the grocery store, they decide to destroy every package they can find, as if she were Carrie Nation for sugar. Only Splenda, her favorite, is spared. The isle looks like a snowstorm.

07-01-2016, 02:36 AM
Punishment: The store makes the SC clean up all the spilled sugar and other sweeteners...by eating it. Every last grain. The SC develops diabetes and severe tooth decay.

Crime: SC at the record store is ticked that they don't carry 8-track tapes and throws the CDs all over the store, stomping on and breaking many of them.

Lace Neil Singer
07-01-2016, 09:39 AM
Punishment: The SC is forced to volunteer at a teen club, therefore being surrounded by teenagers using modern technology all day long. They don't get paid for this.

Crime: The EFT machines have gone down at the coffee shop, so the SC screams at the barrista for not magically being able to take her credit card, as she never uses cash and it's too far to walk to the cashpoint. The cashpoint is just across the street.

07-16-2016, 02:46 PM
Punishment: SC gets the scare of her life when the guy in the tractor trailer blows his horn.

Crime: SC barges into the beauty shop, grabs the clippers, and shaves her head. Then she dents a car outside with her umbrella.