PDA

View Full Version : WTF family strikes again


Kanalah
05-07-2016, 04:45 PM
I am having a WTF week.

Background: Mom got tired of younger sis cursing, refusing to go to church, casual drug use and having random men over at all hours, so Mom moved out of her own home. This was 6 years ago.

Mom is still paying the mortgage and all bills for sis and the current boyfriend who lives with her. Neither sis or BF work, they just loaf around on the internet, smoke weed and drink. Mom goes over there a few times a year to pick up the mail.

So Wednesday morning I get a phone call from Mom at 9am. This is odd because she's not normally awake until noon-1pm. Figuring something is wrong or someone's in the hospital, I answer. The first words out of her mouth are: "Can I borrow your weed eater?" I say sure and ask what's going on. She informs me that she went over to "Sis' house" (At this point I am thinking if she's calling it that, then sis needs to be paying all the bills) and there was a notice from the city because the lawn hasn't been mowed all year and if it wasn't mowed by Tuesday, they were going to come mow it and charge her - as the homeowner - $500. So she had spent her morning over there mowing.

She comes over and I hand over the weed eater - it's a cheapie one I bought years ago and it doesn't work well. She asks where our extension cord is. "Ummm...I think you borrowed it last year for something Mom." She curses and complains. I ask what's wrong. She tells me when she came over to mow she woke up sis and boyfriend and they were angry and yelled at her. The boyfriend was telling her to "hurry up and finish it all today."

Which sounds very much like the sis and BF that I know. Looks like they're turning into younger copies of Moocher Uncle and family. I'm just glad there's no kids involved.

Aria
05-07-2016, 06:36 PM
Your mom is clinically insane. It's the only explanation for this. :eek:

Kanalah
05-07-2016, 09:34 PM
She's a narcissist and my sister is her "golden child". Just like my uncle is grandma's.

Living in a soap opera is no bueno.

MoonCat
05-08-2016, 02:33 AM
What's going to happen someday when Mom passes on?

Yeah, we can guess. Sis is going to expect YOU to pick up the slack. Be prepared to tell her to f**k off.

Kanalah
05-08-2016, 03:45 AM
Well according to Mom's will, sis is getting everything. So she can sit back and enjoy and not come crying to me.

dawnfire
05-08-2016, 08:17 AM
Well according to Mom's will, sis is getting everything. So she can sit back and enjoy and not come crying to me.

how long before she blows through that and comes crying to you

Tama
05-08-2016, 09:07 AM
how long before she blows through that and comes crying to you

I have $10 on less than a year.


But in all seriousness, this stinks. Al's sister is the golden child, and of course she gets everything...and when that falls short, his mum comes running to him. All I can say is get used to slamming your door and saying no when your mum passes.

All this is basically me saying: I know how you feel.

RootedPhoenix
05-08-2016, 11:19 AM
*hugs Kanalah* <3

Kanalah
05-08-2016, 04:32 PM
I'm not too worried about sis right now. I'm worried about grandma and moocher uncle. Uncle's already taken and spent 95% of grandma's money. When she dies everything is to be split 50/50. Mom is thinking of just giving him the house, so she can have the cottage. I want to see how all of that plays out because chances are - sis is going to repeat it when mom dies.

Oh did I mention mom asked if she can move in with me? Dad has also. I'm saying no to both of them. Dad smokes like a chimney and has no problems with "chocking the shit out of disrespectful little snots" <- his words, and mom is a hoarder who will fill my house up with trash. Both treated me like a slave growing up.

Aria
05-08-2016, 08:31 PM
You know, this reminds me a little of my grandma and my aunt. Although fortunately, not as insane.. my aunt is, um, low IQ and more than a bit odd. She's also a hoarder. She bought her own house - she's a janitor at the local school - and it's become a repository of junk. We don't think she'd done any maintenance since she bought it and now she lives with grandma and just takes her junk over to her house. Tragic really.

Grandma's leaving aunt her house in the will. Our guess is that she'll do no maintenance and it will be trashed too, unless someone takes over. Not sure who could though. One of our other aunts is a witch at the best of times and there's zero chance that she'll help. (I don't blame her for that. I blame her for a lot of things, but not that) The rest of us live too far away. idk...

XCashier
05-08-2016, 09:35 PM
Oh did I mention mom asked if she can move in with me? Dad has also. I'm saying no to both of them.
Good. Stay firm on that "no", too. You put up with more than enough crap from them in the past, you don't need any more now. If they can't treat you with decency and respect, then too bad for them, they don't deserve and shouldn't expect any from you.

MoonCat
05-09-2016, 12:47 AM
Good. Stay firm on that "no", too. You put up with more than enough crap from them in the past, you don't need any more now. If they can't treat you with decency and respect, then too bad for them, they don't deserve and shouldn't expect any from you.

Yeah, I agree with XCashier. Your mom treats you like shit. Live in the same house? Oh HELL no. Please.

wolfie
05-09-2016, 03:02 AM
Oh did I mention mom asked if she can move in with me? Dad has also. I'm saying no to both of them. Dad smokes like a chimney and has no problems with "chocking the shit out of disrespectful little snots" <- his words, and mom is a hoarder who will fill my house up with trash. Both treated me like a slave growing up.

From your description, it looks like IF you allowed your dad to move in, he'd let you know in no uncertain terms that HE's the one who makes the house rules, and YOU have to follow them or he'll use force - never mind the fact that YOU are the one who's paying for the house.

Kanalah
05-09-2016, 03:01 PM
Yeah both of them expect to be welcomed with open arms. No rules, and no rent.

Never mind the fact that I have a 3 bedroom home and 2 kids. I don't have an extra room.

Mom had the gall the say that Hubs and I should give her the master bedroom and I should share a room with daughter and husband should share a room with son. How about hell no.

XCashier
05-09-2016, 03:07 PM
Mom had the gall the say that Hubs and I should give her the master bedroom and I should share a room with daughter and husband should share a room with son. How about hell no.
"I've got a better idea, we've got a dog house out back, how about you stay there?" :devil:

Actually, on second thought, that'd be cruelty to animals. Just say no and keep saying no.

http://img.picturequotes.com/2/22/21403/oh-hell-no-quote-4.jpg

Becks
05-09-2016, 03:18 PM
Mom had the gall the say that Hubs and I should give her the master bedroom and I should share a room with daughter and husband should share a room with son. How about hell no.

Holy :censored: biscuit.
WTF.

pudddykat
05-09-2016, 03:26 PM
What everybody else said. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K7fCQlUhj0 Hell NAW!

greek_jester
05-10-2016, 09:07 AM
You could suggest that she takes back the master bedroom in the house that she actually owns and pays for. Of course, that makes sense, so it's not allowed.

XCashier
05-10-2016, 10:57 AM
You could suggest that she takes back the master bedroom in the house that she actually owns and pays for. Of course, that makes sense, so it's not allowed Kanalah's mom doesn't comprehend it.
Fixed that for you.

Becks
05-10-2016, 05:50 PM
Of course, that makes sense, so it's not allowed.

I live on.
Yay me!

Crai
05-10-2016, 07:02 PM
Yeah both of them expect to be welcomed with open arms. No rules, and no rent.

Never mind the fact that I have a 3 bedroom home and 2 kids. I don't have an extra room.

Mom had the gall the say that Hubs and I should give her the master bedroom and I should share a room with daughter and husband should share a room with son. How about hell no.

Sounds like my family at 17 my mother made me pay 300 a month rent. That was 50 more than an apartment at the time. I moved out, finished High School and moved on with my life. WTF is with "family's" Makes me never want to have one.

XCashier
05-10-2016, 07:49 PM
Sounds like my family at 17 my mother made me pay 300 a month rent.
:( Seventeen is way too young to charge rent. There's no way a seventeen-year-old could make enough money to afford that kind of rent and still be able to put a decent amount in the bank. If the kid's twenty-five, maybe, but not while he/she's still a minor, especially while still in school.

Crai
05-10-2016, 08:00 PM
:( Seventeen is way too young to charge rent. There's no way a seventeen-year-old could make enough money to afford that kind of rent and still be able to put a decent amount in the bank. If the kid's twenty-five, maybe, but not while he/she's still a minor, especially while still in school.

I worked 2 jobs that amounted to full time and taught kids to swim part time while in school. There was no interest in putting money in the bank she wanted it to support her drug habit. She was only interesting in herself. She died of Hep-C compounded by drug use and cancer. Before anyone says any "Ahh that's sad" she was Pure Evil and the world is better off with out her.

I will post some of her antics one day.

morgana
05-11-2016, 12:49 AM
Kanalah, my dear, tell me again why you even TALK to these . . . these . . . entitled . . . *fratching* people?

MoonCat
05-11-2016, 03:05 AM
Stay strong, Kanalah! YOU DESERVE YOUR OWN SPACE AND YOUR OWN LIFE. Please do NOT let those leeches guilt you into letting them move in.

I just don't get why your mom doesn't just toss Sis and her loser BF to the curb. It's HER house.

Kanalah
05-12-2016, 12:52 AM
I think Mom is upset because I found someone else to do shows with and she's trying to weasel back into my life.

Crai
05-12-2016, 01:49 PM
I think Mom is upset because I found someone else to do shows with and she's trying to weasel back into my life.


Stay strong you owe these people nothing.

Some family's are loving, caring, and nurturing. Then there are the Toxic ones, they are full of petty, small minded, self absorbed narcissists. When someone is in that family that has any kind of humanity they end up being abused and walked on.

sstabeler
05-14-2016, 05:26 PM
Mom had the gall the say that Hubs and I should give her the master bedroom and I should share a room with daughter and husband should share a room with son. How about hell no.

W.....T....F? I can see such an arrangement (you sharing a room with your daughter, and your husband sharing with your son) working out fine on holiday if you only want two rooms, but NOT as a permanent arrangement to free up room for parents who a) will treat you like a kid- which wouldn't be good for your own kid and b) means that the more...intimate...activities that usually occur during marriage would be difficult at best. ( especially with parents around, since if they impose rules, I can easily see one of them being "no sex in OUR house"- even if the house is yours.)

yeah, my advice is to tell them to take a hike. ESPECIALLY since you've already said that they intend to leave your sister everything.

As a side note, there's another reason that her parents moving in with Kanalah is inherently obnoxious in this situation: it's one thing for Kanalah's parents to financially support her sister and not her- it's their money- but since they want Kanalah to put them up without charging rent, then that means that Kanalah is effectively financially supporting her sister by proxy.( since presumably the reason her parents want a free place to live is to be able to support her sister more)

so yeah- they should reclaim their own house, not expect Kanalah to subsidise their bad choices.

XCashier
05-15-2016, 11:04 AM
As a side note, there's another reason that her parents moving in with Kanalah is inherently obnoxious in this situation: it's one thing for Kanalah's parents to financially support her sister and not her- it's their money- but since they want Kanalah to put them up without charging rent, then that means that Kanalah is effectively financially supporting her sister by proxy.
Agreed, that really is adding insult to injury. Stand strong and keep telling them no, Kanalah. They can get the house room from their darling precious golden child if they really want to. :rolleyes:

Kanalah
05-15-2016, 03:20 PM
Well and my parents are divorced and they hate each other. As they've gotten older they (maybe realize that they messed up) think that they'd rather have me take care of them then my sister.

It's almost funny now because they're trying to be nice to me, but it's very thinly veiled. Both of them think they're competing with each other for free room and board and my servitude until they die. I don't want either of them in my house. I don't have the room and I'm not buying a new house. They both chose my sister as the golden child, they can come crying to her.

Akasa
05-15-2016, 04:10 PM
That's it Kanalah! Keep your spine in tact!

sstabeler
05-15-2016, 06:56 PM
Well and my parents are divorced and they hate each other. As they've gotten older they (maybe realize that they messed up) think that they'd rather have me take care of them then my sister.

It's almost funny now because they're trying to be nice to me, but it's very thinly veiled. Both of them think they're competing with each other for free room and board and my servitude until they die. I don't want either of them in my house. I don't have the room and I'm not buying a new house. They both chose my sister as the golden child, they can come crying to her.

in other words, now that they are facing the consequences of their actions, they expect you to bail them out. Without them suffering any consequences whatsoever, and indeed, shifting the consequences onto you. That is unreasonable. (especially since it sounds like they would treat it as if you and your husband were simply older kids. ergo, at a minimum I can see them interfering with any attempt by you to discipline your kids. At worst, they may attempt to usurp your authority over your kids and take discipline of your kids over completely.)

Kanalah
05-15-2016, 07:17 PM
My dad believes in "children should be seen and not heard" Ideally he'd have them locked up in their rooms 24/7. He thinks nothing of slapping someone simply because he doesn't want to listen to them. (I know because he did the same to me)

My mom thinks that because my children are "disabled" (Autism and ADHD) that they are both stupid. She is constantly treating them like babies, or calling them stupid or dumb. (again, she did the same to me)

AccountingDrone
05-15-2016, 10:24 PM
My dad believes in "children should be seen and not heard" Ideally he'd have them locked up in their rooms 24/7. He thinks nothing of slapping someone simply because he doesn't want to listen to them. (I know because he did the same to me)

My mom thinks that because my children are "disabled" (Autism and ADHD) that they are both stupid. She is constantly treating them like babies, or calling them stupid or dumb. (again, she did the same to me)

LOL He [subjectivley speaking] should hope he is never in a position to do that to me. Once he got out of the hospital, he would be charged with assault and battery and do jail time. I still have a hell of a right hook. Morons like that tend to underestimate us wimmins [and us handicapped ... :wave:]

XCashier
05-15-2016, 10:47 PM
LOL He [subjectivley speaking] should hope he is never in a position to do that to me. Once he got out of the hospital, he would be charged with assault and battery and do jail time. I still have a hell of a right hook. Morons like that tend to underestimate us wimmins [and us handicapped ... :wave:]
If only it were that simple to knock their brains into gear...

darkroxas45
05-16-2016, 01:51 AM
If only it were that simple to knock their brains into gear...

But it would make for great footage and probably even grand prize of AFV

sstabeler
05-16-2016, 11:17 AM
My dad believes in "children should be seen and not heard" Ideally he'd have them locked up in their rooms 24/7. He thinks nothing of slapping someone simply because he doesn't want to listen to them. (I know because he did the same to me)

My mom thinks that because my children are "disabled" (Autism and ADHD) that they are both stupid. She is constantly treating them like babies, or calling them stupid or dumb. (again, she did the same to me)

I'll have to be careful not to let this post get into Fratching territory, but so all I'll say is that it's probably a good thing there's an ocean between me and your parents. Your father would... rapidly...end up in hospital if he slapped me for such a stupid reason and I imagine your mother would piss off me, my mother, and my little sister ( me and my sister are ADHD, I have Aspergers too) and neither me or my sister are stupid. Treat us like babies, and, well, it won't go well.

taxguykarl
05-25-2016, 06:07 PM
OK, I give up, Kanalah. Why do you even speak to them? Why haven't they been served with restraining orders?
I would have no contact with anyone who treated me that way, related or not.

Marmalady
05-25-2016, 07:41 PM
I think Mom is upset because I found someone else to do shows with and she's trying to weasel back into my life.

You found someone else to do shows with? Gee, I wonder why that was?

Tell them all, your parents, sister, uncle, the whole unholy alliance of them, to go take a running jump. You did well to survive such a toxic family, don't start drinking the poison again now.

EricKei
05-25-2016, 07:56 PM
One thing to consider could be pretending they don't exist. Get a call from them? Let it go to VM and never return it. Block their numbers if you can. Get snailmail or email from them? Trash. Hell, mark as spam.

If ignoring them utterly doesn't do the trick, then, yes, as was suggested above, you may wish to consider taking out restraining orders against the lot of them -- ideally, all at once, so the one who hasn't been served yet doesn't get the impression that they're in the clear.

Talon
05-25-2016, 10:27 PM
As many others have asked, why are you still in contact with these people? They bring nothing to the table and will take everything from you, including the table.

XCashier
05-25-2016, 11:52 PM
If ignoring them utterly doesn't do the trick, then, yes, as was suggested above, you may wish to consider taking out restraining orders against the lot of them -- ideally, all at once, so the one who hasn't been served yet doesn't get the impression that they're in the clear.
Also, change the locks on your doors if any of them has copies of your house keys. I wouldn't put it past any of them to move themselves into your house.

Kanalah
05-26-2016, 12:55 AM
Nobody has keys to my house. Just hubs and me.

I honestly don't know anymore why I deal with them. They're not going to change, and the whole lot of them are toxic.

I don't have any contact at all with Uncle and his family - not after the big argument with me and hubby on Easter 4 years ago. (Uncle said that we were horrible people and cheapskates because hubs has a good job and we should spend more money on Uncle and his family for holidays/birthdays. Hubs responded that at least he has a job and doesn't rely on mooching off his mother with Alzheimer's disease. Uncle threw a tantrum and left.)

I don't have any contact with mom between the 2nd week of January and the 3rd week of October. Dad I see every other weekend - but only because he wants free food. I make a point to not be alone with either of them because then the nitpicking and abuse starts.

Hubs and I are actually looking at property out in the country. The long drive will discourage them from visiting as often. Hell, when we repainted the trim on our current house Mom drove right by it twice before she realized it was our house.

Argabarga
05-26-2016, 02:25 AM
Moocher camouflage, I like it.

taxguykarl
05-26-2016, 03:13 PM
Uncle said that we were horrible people and cheapskates because hubs has a good job and we should spend more money on Uncle and his family for holidays/birthdays. Hubs responded that at least he has a job and doesn't rely on mooching off his mother with Alzheimer's disease. Uncle threw a tantrum and left.Good for your husband.:worship:
Moocher camouflage, I like it.Good one, agra. Just think if they painted the whole house.:lol: