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View Full Version : Violating the 2% rule


Mytical
08-07-2017, 09:28 PM
What is the 2% rule you might ask?

It is being at least 2% smarter then the device (barring computers, smart phones, etc.. and things you've never laid eyes on before) you are trying to use. Think lawmowers, chippers, rocks, shoes, etc...

Especially things that they reserve the Darwin awards for.

Now this is not a 'omg how did he not get a Darwin award?' post.. but feel free to post your own 2% rule posts here. No.. this was a 'derp' moment I witnessed.

Ok picture this. Sandals + They who shall remain nameless (TWSRN). Now if TWSRN had been half asleep, I'd give them a pass.. we've all had those moments when half asleep, tired, or otherwise fatigued. Sandals toes are pointed toward twsrn...who tries to put their feet in said sandals and said "These are just supposed to slide on, but they don't!".

:headdesk: no really? :roll:

Kittish
08-08-2017, 03:06 AM
Not even close to being Darwin worthy, but I think it's a pretty clear violation of the 2% rule as you've laid it out.

I once spent a solid half an hour looking for my eyeglasses. This was when I was a truck driver, so I kind of needed them. Tore my truck apart. Was about to start in on a second run through because I still hadn't found them... and finally caught myself... pushing my glasses back up my nose. I'd been wearing them the entire time.

Seanette
08-08-2017, 04:37 AM
Kind of reminds me of the time I got all worried about thinking I'd forgotten my keys.

While driving.

Mytical
08-08-2017, 05:55 AM
Kind of reminds me of the time I got all worried about thinking I'd forgotten my keys.

While driving.

You think that bad? I locked my car door, with the vehicle still running.. so yes.. key was IN the ignition. Luckily the vehicle had a sliding glass door that was unlocked.. only I was way too big to fit through it. Luckily there was somebody who could around...

Not even close to being Darwin worthy, but I think it's a pretty clear violation of the 2% rule as you've laid it out.

I once spent a solid half an hour looking for my eyeglasses. This was when I was a truck driver, so I kind of needed them. Tore my truck apart. Was about to start in on a second run through because I still hadn't found them... and finally caught myself... pushing my glasses back up my nose. I'd been wearing them the entire time.

I have done this. Many many times.

RealUnimportant
08-08-2017, 01:15 PM
Kind of reminds me of the time I got all worried about thinking I'd forgotten my keys.

While driving.
I am always doing that. My key bunch is nice & hefty so when I realise I can't feel it in my pocket, minor panic ensues for a second or two until I remember I'm driving.

drunkenwildmage
08-08-2017, 01:38 PM
Recently, I was looking for my phone. Picked up my phone, and kept looking for it.

Seanette
08-08-2017, 01:41 PM
You think that bad? I locked my car door, with the vehicle still running.. so yes.. key was IN the ignition. Luckily the vehicle had a sliding glass door that was unlocked.. only I was way too big to fit through it. Luckily there was somebody who could around...

Did that once, too. Had had to get a jump start, got out of the now-running car to close the hood, absent-mindedly closed the door. Good thing the windows were down enough that the nice campus cop could reach in with some long tool and poke an unlock button.

drunkenwildmage
08-08-2017, 02:05 PM
Did that once, too. Had had to get a jump start, got out of the now-running car to close the hood, absent-mindedly closed the door. Good thing the windows were down enough that the nice campus cop could reach in with some long tool and poke an unlock button.


Locked my keys in my work truck while it was running, in the parking lot at work. I started the truck, drove it over to my car to get my tool bag out of my car, jumped out of the truck and locked it by habit. :doh: Thankfully my office mate, who also used the same truck was in the office, So called him and had him come out to the parking lot to unlock it.

Kit-Ginevra
08-08-2017, 03:17 PM
...we call this 'being blonde' :D

Lovecats
08-08-2017, 04:39 PM
...we call this 'being blonde' :D

AND you don't have to be blonde. My youngest daughter (just turned 40) when she was in hi school had frequent "blonde" moments. She did improve as she got older, thank goodness.

Now, I'm endowed with "senior moments". Got out of my car and had a moment of panic because my keys weren't in the outside pocket of my purse where I always kept them. And I didn't see them in the car. :eek: I had (for some strange reason) put them inside the zipper section of my purse. Took awhile for me to calm down after that.:o

dalesys
08-08-2017, 05:21 PM
... Now, I'm endowed with "senior moments"...
White, Grey == blonde

Hair roots just grow deeper. When they hit the white/grey matter they change color... and eat your brain! When there's nothing left, they fall out.;)

April
08-08-2017, 11:07 PM
Recently, I was looking for my phone. Picked up my phone, and kept looking for it.

One night, in the middle of the night (I was on call) I woke up to my phone ringing, but I couldn't find it. By the time it stopped ringing, I realized that my phone was in my hand and I was using the light to search for my phone. In my hand.

notalwaysright
08-09-2017, 12:33 AM
I've looked for my glasses while wearing them, too. I'm fairly blind without them, so you'd think the fact that I could SEE THINGS would be a tip off but nooooo.

dalesys
08-09-2017, 12:50 AM
Four Bitchin' Babes singing our theme song, "Oh No!" (https://youtu.be/Ch993THMi4U)

Sulhythal
08-09-2017, 06:26 PM
I spent a solid half hour once looking for a book. I was reading it like ten minutes ago, it couldn't have gone far! I finally had to set down the book I was holding to use both hands to lift something up to look underneath to see if...my
..book..wait.

Yes, I'd been holding the book I was looking for the entire time, even had a finger holding my spot...

Mytical
08-09-2017, 06:52 PM
I think I set a new bar yesterday. I was at the dentist... who said "Turn your head left* Now.. I know my left from my right.. so of course.. I turned my head right.

ladyjaneinmd
08-11-2017, 02:13 PM
Recently, I was looking for my phone. Picked up my phone, and kept looking for it.

I was ON my phone, talking to a friend, while *looking* for my phone.
:lol:

Kittish
08-15-2017, 09:29 PM
So last night I go to brush my teeth before going to bed. I turn on the water, and am momentarily surprised when the light doesn't come on...

EricKei
08-15-2017, 09:47 PM
I've adjusted my glasses/pushed them up before, as well...when I wasn't wearing them. Especially egregious because I, too, fall into the "can't see six inches without them" camp.

Seanette
08-16-2017, 04:43 AM
I've adjusted my glasses/pushed them up before, as well...when I wasn't wearing them. Especially egregious because I, too, fall into the "can't see six inches without them" camp.

Same here. Got me a few odd looks during my couple of tries with contacts (gave up. They get dried out too fast).

MadMike
08-24-2017, 12:17 AM
I also locked my keys in the car while it was running once, and looked all over the room for my reading glasses while they were on top of my head. So I'll tell this story...

I was driving around with a friend, and had to stop at an ATM for money. I pulled into the drive-thru, and the ATM was on the opposite side. You'd think I'd realize I did something wrong, but no. I started ranting about "why would they put the :censored: machine on the passenger side???" At that point, my passenger informed me that I had pulled in from the wrong direction. :doh:

Kit-Ginevra
08-25-2017, 12:40 AM
Went to visit friends in Canada (Yes,Emily,I know I've told this story 20 times before,so if you're lurking here,just think calm blue ocean for the next minute)...
They took me out shopping.I went out to the car,hopped in and then realized there was a large steering wheel sitting in front of me that wasn't where it should be...

Nunavut Pants
08-25-2017, 05:48 PM
I may have told this story here before, but once upon a time I visited some friends in the UK. We took the tube out to the suburbs from their flat to another friend's flat, and had dinner and maybe more than a couple of drinks with her.

The tube was closed by the time we were done drinking, I mean with dinner, so we got a cab back. My two friends sat in the back, and I sat up front with the cabbie. It kept freaking me out to be quite under the influence, in the left-front seat of the car, with no steering wheel in front of me. The cabbie and I had a few laughs about that. (I think my friends in the back were snogging...)

Nashida
08-26-2017, 06:19 PM
Try driving to a con with a friend in the seat next to you, listening to music through your phone, using your phone as a GPS so the map is right in front of your face, then suddenly panicking and declaring you need to turn back (when you're already two hours out) because you forgot your phone.

Nunavut Pants
08-27-2017, 04:21 AM
Oh, another good one! That same trip, I was walking down the street in Paris. A class full of small French school-kids went by, looking just like they were out of the Madeline books. They were all chattering away in French, and my first thought was "Wow, those kids have learned French at a very young age!"

My next thought was, "Yes, because they are French..."