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View Full Version : Typos and other turns of phrase (long)


Chanlin
10-12-2017, 05:07 PM
So, I've been working as an editor for a company that does mystery shopping for the past two years. -- Below are some of the more amusing typos and poor phrasing I've encountered.

My thoughts follow the typo:

The product on the shelves was racing forward. -- People will watch anything race, and probably bet on it too...

The windows were covered with humanity, but were otherwise clean. -- I guess that means they were beyond filthy?

Produce dispensed from each flavor of the frozen beverage machine. -- I think we may have just solved world hunger... that or this place has really terrible slushie flavors...

The used coffee grounds were being immediately deposed. -- Word is the Republic of Tea is moving in...

I purchased the Columbine blend coffee. -- I'm not certain I want to know what went into that blend...

The restroom supplies were adequately shocked. -- Probably by the smell...

The windows were mugged. -- They were in a dark alleyway though, so no surprise there...

The windows were smug. - The drapes were rather humble though...

The employee was properly depressed. - I mean, it was a retail store, so maybe this isn't a typo...

The cookies were fully stocked with beer. -- Those sound like some interesting cookies...

The employee had browning-gray hair. -- I wish my hair was browning...

The employee's name was broiled onto her shirt. -- I prefer mine to be fried on to my shirt personally...

The landscaping was well marinated. -- I'm pretty sure this is not what they mean by backyard bbq...

I purchased nested brisk sweet tea. -- I blame auto-correct for the nested, but brisk and nestea are two completely different brands

The employee was wearing a citronella polo shirt.

The employee was wearing green tea.

The wiring had been neatly sortied. - It seems the war with the machines has begun...

The employee was suggestive. - As Takei would say, Ohhh my.

The wiring under the counters was neatly stewed. - All it needed was a fresh bay leaf and some Worcestershire and it would have been a good meal...

The employee had long blind hair. - Isn't all hair blind?

The coffee got fresh. -- No word on whether it was slapped in response...

The employee's hair was covered by a banana.

I performed a drive by on the location.

I purchased a cane of soda. -- I think i just found my next joke magic item for D&D

The employee had ear-length back hair.

The [male] employee was wearing a black shirt and pantys. -- 1: As George Takei would say "Oh myyy." 2: I'm genuinely surprised that one didn't auto correct.

The owls and other windshield cleaning supplies were stocked. -- I guess that is one definition of clean...

I purchased Nine Lies cat food. - Must be for cats that belong to politicians...

The employee was a multi-colored louse. -- I'm sure that's a health code violation of some kind...

The fountain machines dispensed produce just fine. -- That's a pretty neat trick. Also... ewww...

The employee had brown hair puked up under a hat. - Uh...

(Describing the weather) It was cloying. -- Maybe this person just really hates being outdoors...

The merchandise on the shelves was affronted. -- No word on what set them off...

The employees were treating the costumers politely. -- The makeup artists were getting the short shrift though...

An air horse was available. -- Not sure if this is a mythical animal or just an inflatable kiddie ride...

The walking cooler appeared to be a little bit disheveled. -- Must have had a rough night, especially since he appears to be full of beer...

I purchased an Arizona Ice Team. -- I just wonder which one it was, and I hope he got a good deal.

The mean room smelled. -- The kind rooms were ok though.

The fact food counter was clean. -- No mention of how the opinionated food counter was doing.

The fuel pumps were rust and gnome free. -- I hear de-gnoming can get expensive...

The employee was wearing a gray Moth Face fleece. -- I prefer butterfly faces myself...

The employee was watering a company uniform. -- Must be a home grown company...

Tongs were being used to service the customers. -- Oh my...

I made sure the restroom had been whipped down. -- What did the poor restroom do to you?

The employee was wearing a company vest and sacks. -- I mean I skip laundry day once in awhile too...

The cooking area had no geese spills. -- I want to know what they were cooking here...

There were no seals in the coffee area. -- They've moved on from birds to aquatic animals...

The drunks were neatly stacked. -- Guess they ran out of room in the cell?

The employee had long frowning hair. -- Must have been a bad hair day...

The parking lot was free of potholders. -- Now what am I gonna do if I need to grab something hot...

The employee had a pheasant. - I assume they meant to type pleasant demeanor and somehow forgot an entire word...

The widows were clean and not streaking. -- I should hope so...

The car said, "Thank you. See you soon." -- I think this person just met KITT.

The employee did not make any philanthropic endeavors. -- I do not think that word means what you think it means...

The location had automatic lightning. -- Sounds like an interesting place.

There were no visible odors in the restroom. -- Umm... that is a really really good thing...

The restroom was primadonna toy clean. --I really want to know how autocorrect thought that this is what they meant to type...

She had a blond pony (they were describing her hair). -- Must be trying to start a petting zoo?

There was stool in the janitor's closet. -- One little word makes all the difference...

The floor needed to mope. -- I never realized floors could be so emotional...

The employee had short back hair. -- That's a good thing... I suppose...

The pimps had tape all over them. -- Uh... ok...

The fat food counter was clean and organzied. -- I'm not entirely certain this is actually a typo...

Dreamstalker
10-12-2017, 11:15 PM
Oh dear... :spew: :roll:

Here's my contribution:

For some reason, an email was sent to the department heads with today's lunch menu...complete with typo. "We have Hot Dongs for lunch" (supposed to be "hot dogs").

TheSHAD0W
10-12-2017, 11:44 PM
At least some of that is autocorrect shennanigans.

Chanlin
10-13-2017, 05:27 AM
Yeah, a goodly amount of the typos I get are autocorrect, which for me makes them even funnier for me. Not all of them turn out as good as these do, I tend only to make note of the ones that I can make a pith comment on or the ones that genuinely make me laugh out loud.

MoonCat
10-17-2017, 12:40 AM
I like the citronella shirt (keeps the bugs away!) and the male employee wearing panties. Whatever floats your boat!

Chanlin
10-18-2017, 02:41 PM
I've actually since learned that citronella is a legitimate color of yellow/green fabric... I'm still mostly certain this case was an autocorrect and not an intentional call out to that color.

Jetfire
10-24-2017, 06:12 PM
So, I've been working as an editor for a company that does mystery shopping for the past two years. -- Below are some of the more amusing typos and poor phrasing I've encountered.


I purchased an Arizona Ice Team. -- I just wonder which one it was, and I hope he got a good deal.



Well, I've heard the NHL has been looking for a buyer for the Phoenix Coyotes; he could probably get a good deal there. Only condition is you can't move them to Canada. :)