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TheWolfEmperor
03-03-2018, 08:15 PM
I punched in and immediately checked to see that the fitting rooms were locked and clean. I open the smaller of the two and I saw a #2 there.

It was the number tag that indicates how many clothing items a customer has brought into the fitting room. And it was just hanging from the hook.

This poop joke was inspired by a real event that happened just under two hours ago.

You're welcome.

DGoddessChardonnay
03-04-2018, 02:10 PM
Sounds like your day was crappy from the start (sorry, couldn't resist.):p

While I never worked in the fitting rooms, I recall my first job being at a department store (I worked in the snack bar up front near the checkouts) and we would have quite a few of the store employees come there on their breaks.

One day, one of the ladies who worked in ladies' apparel at the fitting rooms told me about finding the remains of a period in the floor in one of the rooms.:eek:

Yep, the remains of a monthly period . . . blood and all. :puke:

At the tender age of 19, I was already losing my faith in humanity. . . .

TheWolfEmperor
03-04-2018, 10:54 PM
I have yet to find any real bodily functions so far. There was an incontinent dog and possible a person who seemed to pee in a precise holding (no pun intended) pattern in a perfect square that included parts of the bras and underwear section, some of shoes, and the "alley" between men's shoes and women.

I don't know if it was my blessed allergies but I was the only person who didn't smell the urine.

Oh, also, near sporting goods, someone spilled a bottle of deer scent.

I called over the radio, "Hey, if this attracts a deer, can we cook it in the break room?"

The ass. manager said no. Awww.

Rosco the Iroc
03-05-2018, 01:00 PM
Huh no shit...

dalesys
03-05-2018, 01:19 PM
Here we go dookie doo, here we go dookie die...

Rosco the Iroc
03-06-2018, 07:34 PM
WHO Does #2 WORK FOR?! /Austin Powers

dalesys
03-06-2018, 07:40 PM
This news seeping under your feet: "#3 Discovered!" :D (https://youtu.be/A7RhtWecNZo)

Mental_Mouse
03-08-2018, 02:08 PM
I remember a piece from "Funny Times", to the effect of "My toddler said he used the potty -- I asked him what number he did, and he said '#5!''. Now I'm afraid to go in there....

TheSHAD0W
03-08-2018, 08:13 PM
A science fiction writer, Robert L. Forward, had a pair of novels with a gag where an alien species would have #1s, #2s, #3s... Up to a pretty large number. Spoiler: It turned out to be a major part of the plot of the novels.

dalesys
03-08-2018, 08:41 PM
There was a Retief story where excretion was the better part of valor...