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View Full Version : Crazy woman at the movies (a bit long)


raptormh
08-03-2006, 03:55 AM
I registered especially to post this story... hope you enjoy it :P

So my wife and I went to a matinee one day. The theater was almost empty; there were maybe 15 people in a theater of about 150 seats. I like to talk during the movie, so I always sit in the rear and well away from everyone else so that I can talk quietly and not disturb anyone. My wife and I put our coats, etc. on the seats on either side of us.

A few minutes into the previews, this 50ish woman walks up to my wife. I kid you not, this was the conversation that ensued:

Woman: Is this your coat?
Wife: Uh... yes...
Woman: Move it. I want to sit here.

I turn and stare at this crazy woman with an astonished expression on my face. Here we are in a nearly empty theater, with more than a hundred empty seats, and not only does she sit in the sit immediately next to my wife, she ORDERS her to move her coat! We're both so taken aback that my wife just moved her coat without thinking. I shoot her a dirty look for the better part of a minute, but she refuses to look at me, so finally I say, "Sure, because we don't say PLEASE IN THIS COUNTRY!" Still, she doesn't look.

So we get to watching the movie, whispering little comments from time to time, when, I kid you not, this crazy woman turns to us again...

Woman (loudly): Can you please BE QUIET?
Me: Hmm, maybe if you'd been more polite to my wife, I might listen to the first thing you have to say.
Woman: What?
Me (loudly): I said SILENCE, SHREW!
Woman (after a long pause): Idiot.
Me (laughing): Touche'. I am wounded by your rapier wit.
Woman: Do you want me to get the usher?
My wife and I: Try it.

Well, she shut up after that, but you better believe we looked for every single excuse we could find to talk about the movie ("I like his hair." "Me too, do you think I'd look good with that haircut?"). She had the nerve to keep shooting us long, dirty looks, but nothing more. When the movie ended and she was leaving, my wife yelled after her, "Do you want to know what restaurant we're going to, so you can sit at our table?"

:roll: I'm so happy that both of us were thinking quickly that day. We still talk about it :D

By the way, this woman had her husband with her. He never looked at me or said a word throughout all of this :roll:

Mixed Bag
08-03-2006, 04:19 AM
Here we are in a nearly empty theater, with more than a hundred empty seats, and not only does she sit in the sit immediately next to my wife, she ORDERS her to move her coat!...When the movie ended and she was leaving, my wife yelled after her, "Do you want to know what restaurant we're going to, so you can sit at our table?"

If you and the other couple go to a nearly empty restaurant they might want to cram you together anyway :wtf:

JustADude
08-03-2006, 04:56 AM
Okay, that's just... ew. Why would you WANT to sit right up next to someone like that anyway?:confused:

Oh yeah, I forgot: if it makes sense, it's not allowed.

Kiwi
08-03-2006, 05:03 AM
By the way, this woman had her husband with her. He never looked at me or said a word throughout all of this :roll:

I bet you that he was loving someone standing up to the old bag;)

Canarr
08-03-2006, 07:54 AM
When the movie ended and she was leaving, my wife yelled after her, "Do you want to know what restaurant we're going to, so you can sit at our table?"



:roll: That was a good one. Seriously, though, what moves some people?

RecoveringKinkoid
08-03-2006, 02:18 PM
That poor bastard she had with her probably hasn't opened his mouth in the last thirty years.

Becks
08-03-2006, 03:07 PM
Raptormh, you and your wife both rock!!!! :yourock: :worship:


JustADude, I see one of my favorite phrases has caught your fancy. :)

Cia
08-03-2006, 07:57 PM
Bwaaaaaah! Raptormh, you are a minion of evil and I mean that in the nicest way. :)

Antisocial_Worker
08-03-2006, 08:49 PM
Me (loudly): I said SILENCE, SHREW!

:spew: Excellent. Just excellent.

chainedbarista
08-04-2006, 12:02 AM
a hearty second to hauntedhead's approval of the shrew comment.

that was a awesomely stellar put down! :roll: what i would have given to be there at that moment...*sighs*

raptormh
08-04-2006, 05:11 PM
Thanks, guys, you'll make me blush :)

We were able to turn a bad experience into one of the all-time best. I take enough crap at work, I'm sure not taking any at the movies. :D

dougiezerts
08-08-2006, 02:07 AM
This reminds me of a story my mom told me about a weirdo guy she observed at a theatre. He'd sit somewhere for a few minute, take his jacket off, put it back on, move to another seat, move to yet another seat, and so on. He even sat next to her, for a bit. She was so freaked out by his behavior that she finally left!