View Full Version : Pranks!

08-06-2006, 06:43 AM
Ever play pranks on your coworkers? I'm going to bed now, but I plan to post some stories. In the meantime, let's hear some funny stories!

08-06-2006, 08:04 AM
Not really a prank, but a birthday gift we gave our store manager once for her birthday. (this was when I worked at McD's) One of the assistant managers knew a cake decorator at the grocery store down the street. She got him to make a special cake for the SM... We had to hide the cake from customers when it was brought into the store, and we had to keep it in the breakroom.

The cake resembled a clowns face, the nose was made out of a Twinkie...and the nose had been frosted and shaped like a certain piece of male anatomy.

I'm sure the customers out in the lobby were wondering why the employees were all in the breakroom telling the SM to "eat it!" She took a big bite of the Twinkie and ended up with pink frosting (from the clown face) on her nose.

Same manager as above...she was blonde, and I used to make blonde jokes all the time when she would get forgetful about things when we were opening. Not really a prank, and she took the jokes well. Once I got a dollar bill in the drive-thru from a customer. Someone had written on one side "How do you keep a blonde busy? Over for answer"....and on the other side, it said "How do you keep a blonde busy? Over for answer". :rolleyes: I showed it to her when she came back to get change out of my drawer for front line. She looked at it, read one side...turned it over, read that, and turned it over again... then gave me her "evil" glare and said "oh yoooou!!!"...she walked away giggling.

again, same manager as above...her husband used to be the head manager at that store, till he left for a higher paying job with a refrigeration company. We used to talk about how some of the customers seemed to be brain damaged or something. One day, I'm out shopping, and I find a t-shirt that says "drain bamaged" on it. So I bought it for him for Christmas. He'd wear it on days when he was scheduled to help unload the truck orders. Thought it was funny when he'd come up to help us on the front counter wearing that t-shirt.

I actually miss that job...hated McDonald's, but the management were probably the best bosses I've ever had at any job. Saw the old store manager a couple of years ago. She was working in a Gordman's. Turns out she had just been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and was about to quit her job. I miss working for her. She was cool. I hope she's doing ok.

08-06-2006, 12:49 PM
When I worked in the deli at the grocery store, I hired a "Peel-o-gram" for my boss on his birthday.

He thought he was being interviewed by the newspaper about retailing and the butcher business in a small town.
The girl was really smart, and really knew her stuff. (I think she told me she was a journalism major and helped pay her way through school doing the peel-o-grams.)
She was wearing a really smart suit, glasses, and had her hair pinned up on her head. She had a tape recorder and notebook, and was asking some really good questions. She had done her homework.
All of a sudden in the interview, she pressed a button on the tape recorder, and the stripper music started, and off came the glasses, down came the hair and off came the jacket.

She only went as far as a really pretty camisole/undie combo - as it was not a strip-o-gram, but it was enough to embarrass the heck out of him.
Pretty much everybody but him knew about the joke, so they were all crowded around trying to see in the window to the butcher shop.

He was a while forgiving me for that one.

08-06-2006, 01:30 PM
One day I answered the phone when some bitch says "I was in your store last week and I was NOT satisfied with your service, let me speak to a manager." I transferred her, but later found out it was the assistant manager of the store playing a prank. :lol:

08-06-2006, 01:48 PM
Our inventory manager at B&N was Steve, a really great guy. He kept us in stock with Harry Potter 4, and I'm not sure how he did it. We never were out of stock, even when all the other B&Ns in town were.

Unfortunately, the other stores complained to corporate, and Steve got a dressing-down over it. (For doing his job WELL, and apparently BETTER than his counterparts at other stores!) So, he decided to move on, to a better job.

Anyway, Steve was a military history buff, to the extent of being a Civil War re-enactor. So, we decided that when we got him a cake, it would be no ordinary cake.

We got a standard decorated cake from the grocery store in the mall. It was a dirtbiking decoration scheme, with dirt road, small plastic trees, and a jump over a river. We took off the bike, and bought a pack of plastic soldiers and some red jelly-type frosting. After washing the soldiers thoroughly, we set up an ambush on the road. We even took out the shears and removed some limbs and a head...

Steve loved it.

Mr. Rager!
08-06-2006, 01:53 PM
Hmm.... :devil:

One day my coworker Scott and I were extremely bored, and Scott was doing impersonations of everyone. He impersonated our store manager quite well. So he goes, "who won't answer their phone?" I tell him, "Travis" So Scott was getting ready to call Travis and pretend to be our store manager, but I had this funny feeling Scott would start laughing, so I told Scott to record it on his cell phone, then call Travis and play it back.

So I told Scott to say something along the lines that Travis is fired. So Scott says, "Hello, Travis. This is *store manager* from *where I work*. Can you come in for meeting? Because you are fired and you no longer have career at *where I work*." She has a really think Spanish accent, and Scott pulled it off perfectly.

Now, we have this stupid trophy that departments can earn each week. It's a traveling trophy. I stole it from our ops manager, and I've been moving it around the Home Improvement department, putting it in weird places.

My next prank is going to involve our floor model safe that isn't supposed to lock, but does. I have to call Monday and get the default code from it to open it, but I'm going to put something in that makes noise at certain times of the day. I'm thinking of an alarm clock. :devil: And I'll be the only one with the code... well, until someone gets smart and gets the code for it too.

Sometimes I call our parts line, (which at the beginning is computer) and then I transfer it to another department.

Another fun thing is to page someone to their department when they are standing right next to you. The funniest thing is when they page "Please repeat last page" after you do it.

The snowthrowers are back on the floor!! It'll be a matter of time until I fling pennies off the auger lever at my coworkers.

I've done more.

08-06-2006, 02:37 PM
It is cool to have management with a sense of humor! :lol:

Okay. I'll probably make a couple posts here as I think about them.

This one was at public television. We use a lot of duct tape and electrical tape in that job to dress cables down so people don't trip on them. End of the day, we might have several baseball size wads of duct tape.

These are wonderful to spike into your co-worker's back as they are walking down the hall. The hallways became hunting grounds of the paranoid tape-less and the hunters with tape balls in their hands. A good tape ball was a hot commodity. In fact, one got made that was roughly the size of a 5 year old and crammed into my locker so tight I had to go down to the shop and get a crowbar to get the thing out.

We were getting ready to do a show in the "big" studio. We had some down time beforehand, so I turned out the lights in the studio, closed the door, and climbed up into a really tall lighting ladder with a tape ball. And waited in the pitch dark for 20 minutes or more.

X was the youngest member of the crew, and everyone's favorite target. Kid had a wicked arm and was fast and hard to hit. Eventually, he came into the studio, turned on the lights, and started puttering around with his camera, thinking he was completely alone.

Nailed him right between the shoulder blades, scaring the living hell out of him.

So now, he's on a vendetta, right? He goes nowhere without tape in his hand. He's got a contract out on me. End of the day, he sees me headed toward the exit, and he decides to make his move. I run like hell, him in hot pursuit. I duck around a corner, run toward the loading dock, and shove the doors open. But instead of going out the loading door, I duck into the break room right next to the door.

X sees the doors closing in front of thim. He runs out onto the dock, looks around for me and I emerge from the break room behind him and nail him right between the shoulder blades, scaring the living hell out of him.

He might have had speed and youth on his side, but I had old age and treachery and that wins every time.

08-06-2006, 02:38 PM
Heh. Once upon a time when I worked with my husband in a computer store, we decided to do something evil for Christmas. The store was owned by another husband and wife team, and the wife was really into Beanie Babies. She collected them and was somewhat anal about keeping the tages perfect, etc. So we bought a Beanie Baby (a special one, I don't remember what) and ran it through the shredder a few times, then wrapped it up in lovely Christmas wrapping. The look on her face when she opened it was priceless! :devil:

08-06-2006, 03:06 PM
One time at my old store I was really bored so I took some leftover ketchup packets and placed them under the nubs of the toilet seat in the unisex employee restroom in the back.

Well, this one co-worker, "M", went in shortly after and sat down to use the toilet. In her own words which she told me a couple of days later, this is what happened next:

"I just sat down on the seat to use the toilet, and I hear 'POP!' 'POP!' I'm wondering 'What the heck was that!?' I stand up and I see red all through the water as well as smeared on the bowl on some places. I also noticed that my underwear, butt, and legs have red on them. At this point I'm thinking 'Where's all this blood coming from!?' I lift up the seat and then I see the smashed ketchup packets. At first I'm relieved that I didn't rupture something internally, then I went about wiping myself off."

I confessed a couple of days later that it was me. Luckily, she was a good sport about it and kidded me about it afterwords. Everytime she saw me, she would glare at me and say "Ketchup!", then laugh.

08-06-2006, 03:22 PM
:rotflmao: :roll:

brilliant! ketchup!:roll: :roll:

08-06-2006, 05:48 PM
One of the editors always complains when she comes back from lunch and there are messages taped to her computer (good natured complaining, that's what we're supposed to do). So, one day, I took my lunch at the same time as her, and spent an hour just making up obviously fake messages and taping them to her computer. "Seymour Butts", "Peppi Roni", "Andre the Giant", etc., with every phone number being Diesel Driving Academy, heh heh. By the time I was done, I had used up an entire message pad and her computer looked like it was covered in pink papery feathers.

The look on her face when she came back in was priceless :lol: When she started peeling off the messages and looking at the names...the first one she peeled off was Lance Armstrong...she proceeded to ball them up and launch them at me one-by-one. :angel: Oh well, I can take it...

08-09-2006, 02:07 PM
The assistant manager at the supermarket was something of a smartass and a prankster, and he got me good one day...

It was my 19th birthday, which fell on a Saturday, so I was working a full day, complete with a lunch break. Somehow, he found out it was my birthday, so he decided to give me a "present."

I was just coming back from my lunch, when he asked me to help him with something in the back room. All the other guys were following us back, but for some reason, I didn't think anything of it, until he and all the other guys mooned me. I might have liked it better if he would have gotten some of the women involved. ;)

I did get him back, although it was unintentional. I went into the back room to put away my coat and grab my apron, when he paged the breakroom from the office, asking if I was back there. I just happened to be standing in the doorway, right below the speaker, and jokingly said, "Yeah! What do you want, dickhead?"

And then there was silence. After waiting for a response for about 15 seconds, I just shrugged it off and went to the clock to punch in. Next thing I know, he comes charging thru the double doors like a freight train, stands there all out of breath, and finally tells me, "That echoed all over the front of the store!" Oops... :o

08-09-2006, 11:26 PM
Way, way back, I worked as an aide at a 1st and 2nd grade elementary school.

First, I was in the Special Education class (very difficult, most of the children were emotionally damaged, the physically handicapped children were the easiest part of the job), and you really need to blow off some steam when you can.

Then, I was assigned to assist the district psychologist (again having to deal with children who were being emotionally fragged by their "parents") and helping the school secretary. Almost as much need to blow off steam.

So here's a few: the school janitor (very funny and cool) got hold of my packet of pictures. I spent the next several weeks locating where he had stuck them up around the school. The wallet-sized were the hardest. That was mild.

A small war was waging between a teacher in the Learning Disabled class and me. It had escalated gradually. One day he came into the break room and gave me a box of See's chocolates and an apology. Cool! I opened the box and laughed so hard everyone turned to find out what had happened. He and his wife had taken a bite out of or stuck their fingers into every single piece of candy in the box.:lol: They had very carefully resealed the plastic on the box before giving it to me.

I got him back by buying a box of the same candy, then carefully opening the plastic seal on one corner by just a bit. I gave it to him, he noticed the open plastic, and refused to open it. Note: I had not opened the box, it was just an excellent way to mess with his head.:angel:

Another teacher and I also had an escalating war going. The last I remember, he took about twenty wooden nickels (when the kids paid for their milk, the teachers would give them wooden nickels to turn in at the cafeteria), wrapped a rubber band around the stack, then threw it perfectly across the room, right into my lap, where the rubber band popped off and left me with a lapful of wooden nickels that then scattered onto the floor when I tried to get up. Again, I nearly fell over laughing, as I was busy and had not even noticed him enter the office.:roll: It was a beautiful throw.

I was not as innovative in response. After he left one evening, I took all the spare wooden nickels and taped them to his chair. I then took an entire ball of string and wound it all around his desk, including wrapping it individually around books, his stapler, pencil holder, etc. on his desk, then opened the drawers and wound it around the drawers before closing them, and then pulled his chair into the desk and wrapped it in tightly.

He came into the office the next day to salute me. He had to take his scissors to get into his desk, then pull all the wooden nickels off before he could sit down.:D

I wish I could pull that kind of thing now. Now, I just get to be bitter and abrasively witty. Yes, really I am, it just never seems to show up in my posts.

Ringtail Z28
08-10-2006, 12:43 AM
One of the pranks we used to pull in the backroom at Target was to take one of these really big rubberbands that went around merchandise when it was on a pallet and put it around the door handles of both the mens and womens employee restrooms, trapping whoever was in the restroom inside. It got old after a while though.

A good one was pulled on an assistant manager who was using the women's employee restroom instead of the men's, because of plumbing problems. One of the backroom employees started beating on the door and doing a really good impression of an older asian employee, yelling things like "please hurry I have to go really bad!" and crying. He rushed off just before the manager came out. He was asking me and the other employees where she ran off to. We told him she went on herself and ran off crying, he starts running around the store trying to find her. He later calls the house of the employee he thinks he made pee on herself only to find that she had been on vacation the whole time. :D

08-10-2006, 04:49 AM
Not from work, but a great one nonetheless.

One of my friends had a senior class prank that was truly impressive. They released two pigs into their school, and painted numbers on their backs. One of the pigs had a "1", and the other pig had a "3". The teachers spent a significant amount of time searching for the mythical pig #2. :D

08-10-2006, 05:47 AM
Best prank I've ever heard of locally:

In the 1980's (pre-cell phone, Blackberry, laptop, Gameboy etc) regular commuters from Bainbridge Island to downtown Seattle would generally sit in the same seats on the ferry every day. They would lift up the seat cushion and stash their novel, cribbage board, backgammon, whatever in the life jacket box under the seat.

Washington State Ferries are symmetrical on the outside but not on the inside, the snack bar and bathrooms, crew room, etc are on one half or the other of the boats.

One April Fool's day the crew turned the 5:30 AM boat around. The bleary-eyed commuters stumbled aboard and had fits finding "their" seats.

Best high-school prank: One of my friends started a prank war involving lockers. Most people could easily get the combo to a friend's locker by watching them open it. It started with filling the locker with confetti, then garbage, then bottles of beer, etc. My friend, who started the war, lost big time when a couple of guys attached a two-man life raft to the back of the door of the locker, and wired the C02 cartridge to the back of the locker. He opened up the locker and PSSSSSSSSSSSH! the raft inflated in the hallway.

Best work prank was one I did myself, again in the late 1980's. I dictated a letter to a fake company, all about how we were going to replace our dictation transcriptionist with voice-recognition software. After I signed off on the letter, I said on the tape that the transcriptionist should read the first letter of every sentence. The letters spelled "April Fool". Alas, 18 years later, the joke has now become reality! She still has a job but not as many hours.

08-10-2006, 06:36 AM
Oh, that reminds me of an acrostic I did for a chap. He was the son of the dairyman (still is, I guess), and he was involved romantically with a young lass. He knew of my occasional literary triumphs and wanted some romantic poetry for her.

The first letter of each line of the first one read "I shag sheep" and the second one said "****** smells".

Yes, I did tell him after he'd given them to her, but I added in a quatrain to the second to add 'nice'.


08-10-2006, 07:20 AM
Reminds me of the time we shrink wraped a managers truck on his last day. (He was a great guy.) Here is a link to the photos.

Bored Employees + Shrink Wrap + Managers truck. Not safe for 56K (http://gra.midco.net/5937/Duane%201/Small/)

08-10-2006, 08:52 AM
While talking to Goose (yes that is his name) while he was sat on the forklift one day, it was stopped, I slowly turned off the gas at the tank.

The gas in the system was enough for him to start and move the fork a few metres before it ran out of fuel.

He didnt realise what had happened until he had disconnected the tank and attempted to pick it up to change it over. As he was exchanging that full tank for another full one. :)

Mixed Bag
08-10-2006, 03:20 PM
If only I could get employees from ten years ago to be at their old desks one morning when the owners came in, working like normal...

I guess I'll have to settle for replacing the company phone extension lists with ones from back then. :o

Spiffy McMoron
08-10-2006, 11:50 PM
At my first "real" (ie: Mom and Dad aren't my boss) job, the employee parking lot was behind the store. To the south and west were streets, north (beyond the employee parking lot) were train tracks, and to the east was a hotel.

The dumpster was behind the store as well, beyond the employee's parking lot. I was taking out the garbage, and noticed that one-particularly naive-employee had left her keys in the ignition of her car. Technically, it was actually her fathers car. Her fathers BELOVED car. :D

Thinking that she may have locked the keys in the car, I checked to see if the door was locked. But it wasn't. :devil:

I hopped in, started it up, and parked it on the other side of the hotel. After work, she came out, and discovered her dad's car was missing. Of course, nobody knew where it was. (I let in a few co-workers in on it.) I finally broke the news to her before she called the cops.

08-11-2006, 03:12 PM
One time, we had a new stockboy haul the big ladder out front, climb up, and find the string to turn off the big red K so that we could all go home...

08-11-2006, 04:37 PM
Reminds me of the time we shrink wraped a managers truck on his last day. (He was a great guy.) Here is a link to the photos.

LOL! We did something similar to one of the guys at camp. Imagine his surprise when his shitbox Chevette was wrapped with aluminum foil...and some yellow caution tape.

08-12-2006, 01:22 AM
These are from way back when I worked at Spencer's gifts in the mall.

Best and Worst job ever

Because this was a job that no one really cared about we often sent needy customers on scavenger hunts for the items they wanted that did not exist in our store.

Turning on motion actived items and putting in odd places in the store that went invisible until someone walked by. The fart jokes were endless with this one.

Back then part of the job was to demo products. :devil:

This one got us in trouble but it was so worth it. The check out counter was metal and spences sells certain items that take batteries and vibrate. Well we attached one of these fun little items with string and tape to the metal counter. It made a huge noise and people started to come into the store to check out the noise only to find a vibrator circling in the middle of the counter.

Halloween was the best.

We got a real sized cript keeper. This was awsome. Kids were so scared of this thing. So many hours so many tears. It was great. I am the type of person that steals candy from a baby if its tasty enough.

Teenages were also fun. You could scare them by following them around watching them and then telling them you saw what they did and they better put it back. Some of them got so scared some really were stealing and did put items back. The ones that didnt steal anything were the best.

We really werent managed much. The manager spent most of her time in the back smoking and watching tv so free range to screw off. wahahahahaha

08-12-2006, 02:26 AM
The night stocker R stuck an EAS tag somewhere on me one day. So of course I beeped going out the door, I even showed the CSM my purse to show I hadn't stolen anything.

The kicker is that R actually TOLD me he did it, but wouldn't tell me where he stuck it on me. I never found the EAS tag. My theory is maybe he got me to step on it sticky side up so it was on my shoe, and fell off whilst walking home.

I wanted to do this to one of the tech salesmen, like offering to polish his shoes and sneaking a tag on the bottom. Sadly he was fired before I got the chance....

El Barto
08-12-2006, 05:03 AM
The night stocker R stuck an EAS tag somewhere on me one day. So of course I beeped going out the door

We do that at my store all the time. Mostly me and 2 cashiers. I've developed a talent for sticking them to people's backs without them feeling it.

Our photo supervisor (S) did the best one though. She stuck one right on the back of our managers (C) coat. The outside of it where it was easily visable. When he set our alarm off he assumed somehting he bought didnt get deactivated. After he left our store he went to Wal Mart, with the tag still attached to the back of his coat. He set the alarm off on the way out and they started to strip search him. :lol: He started swearing when he took his coat off and saw the tag. He told S about it the next day (not knowing she did it). Then S told me, then later that day C tried to blame me for it. :angel:

08-12-2006, 03:34 PM
Occasionally I'll hide various items that are needed for a particular task. It's even more fun hiding them in plain sight. :lol:

One example.

Every couple of days, fresh cole slaw is made. One time I was walking past and grabbed a couple cabbages, then started thinking where I could hide them. One was placed on top of a rack, one was hidden under some items on the counter, and one I impaled.

I walk away snickering and continue with my work, which involved going past that department a few times. Finally, about half an hour later, I get a page from that department. As I'm walking over there, I'm laughing... When I arrive, I'm asked, "Becky, have you happened to see three cabbages?" Still laughing, I point them out and run away before they are thrown at me.

08-12-2006, 04:46 PM
This one was played on me just a few days ago...

I am dating a day shift employee (I work nights) and knew that he was going to propose to me this past Thursday after he got off of work, and on my day off. So I told my manager jokingly not to call me as I knew what was happening and couldn't go into work that day.

My fiancee goes into the office and tells her to call me and make up an emergency on why I have to come in. She calls and says the manager who covers my shift on Thursday's fell down the stairs and broke his ankle. Now this is completely believable, and as there is only 3 of us who can manage the store and know the books I would have to come in.

I started to get ready for work, while bawling mind you, when I got the call that they were just kidding.

08-12-2006, 08:03 PM
At the grocery store, in the deli department, some cheese company had sent an inflatable cow to the manager for use in decoration and to promote the cheese. Well, the deli manager just LOVED the cow and thought it was cute. So therefore, one of the deli cooks and the rest of the departments took turns "kidnapping" the cow and sending polaroids. The best was when we hid it in the meat department. The deli manager nearly died laughing at the polaroid of the meat manager holding the cow next to the meat saw. We did eventually return him though.

Also at the grocery store, a friend of mine drove a Geo Storm, one of those tiny cars. Which this was amusing, because my friend was very tall, so it looked funny every night, him folding himself into that itty bitty car. Well one evening I was off work, and bored. I was over at my best friend Sarah's house, and her boyfriend Andrew and another friend of Andrew's were over. We went up to the store for snacks, then I got an evil idea. :devil: My friend was working, and he was due to be off work in about twenty minutes. So we hurried up and bought our snacks, then ran out to the parking lot. With Sarah and I holding the front, and Andrew and his friend holding the back, we were able to MOVE his car. What we did was move it horizontally, so it was taking up two spots. When my friend came out, he didn't see his car right away, as it was hidden from view by the giant Suburban that we'd driven. (The truck belonged to Sarah's mom. We were in high school at the time.) My friend wigged out, it was hilarious.

Man we were evil at that store. One more story. Towards the end of my tenure, I worked in the meat department. We noticed on a brand of packaged fresh chicken, we were getting shorted lately. Well, there happened to be a plant for that company in southern Missouri, and I had a good friend living there. He phoned me up one day and said the factory was shut down, one of the workers had caught his arm in a machine, and since it had been pulled off and sucked into a machine, they closed down that whole section of factory to clean and sanitize. I told my boss, who made faces and bad jokes about fried chicken and severed hands. It was Halloween-time, so I decided to mess with him. I found a theatre shop in the city that had some very realistic looking fake severed fingers. I managed to open a package of chicken that was already doomed for the trash bin (sent to us expired...way to be, guys!) without making it look tampered with, and jammed in the fake fingers, and some fake blood. I left it on his desk, which is behind a window. All of us crammed behind the counter and peered around into that window. Him jumping off his stool and then peering curiously at the chicken was priceless. We wished we'd had a camera.

08-12-2006, 09:57 PM
I had a bit of fun in my Networks class; at the beginning of the semester I stashed a data crossover cable in the box with the regular network cables (I knew which was which, but wondered if anyone else in the class could figure it out). That turned into an instructor-sanctioned prank, seeing as I was generally the first one to class. The ratio of crossover to network cables gradually increased until at the end of the semester the box had fully half crossover cables (for each crossover added, I took out one network so the number stayed the same). Nobody in the class caught on to that one, which was somewhat disappointing as we were supposed to be able to differentiate the two cables by looking at the ends.

I would also modify the settings on various computers so they could see others locally but not the internet, see internet but not other computers in the room, etc. Among the usual swapping keyboards, fun with netsend, hiding mouse balls, and other stuff.

08-12-2006, 10:05 PM
Did you ever hexedit the cursor icon to alter the hot spot so clicks only work about half the time? That was a hoot.


08-12-2006, 10:06 PM
You're absolutely :devil: Dreamstalker. I used to do that in the old days, I can remember the "hard-drive washer" prank. I loved pulling that one. For you young'in, there was a trick to spining and stop spinning the hard-drive to make it sound like a dishwasher machine (back then hard drives were alittle loud). The screen would have a nice message "Washing hard drive, please wait until done...."

08-13-2006, 06:21 AM
Back when both my husband, J, and I were working at Kinko's, we had a co- worker who would push off customers on someone else in a heartbeat. At the time, J was a typesetter. We tried very hard to avoid bothering the typsetter with stuff that could be handled a the counter, like order taking and whatnot. But this one coworker, R, kept bugging J while he was trying to work with dumb stuff that J (and the other typesetters) shouldn't have had to deal with.

So one evening, when the store was pretty much empty, J called R on the phone from his desk. R picked it up.

J: (heavy, uptight Asian accent.) Uh, I need to talk to someone about resume.
R:You need a resume typed up?
J: Yes, good, I want a resume made. Need to talk to typesetter.
R. Okay. (at this point, R should have just tried to take the "customer's" order. That was his job to take orders, not foist the customer off on the typesetters. ) Hey, J, can you come to the phone?
J: Sure. (gets up and stalks with an irritated air to the phone, and takes it out of R's hand.
J: Yes? This is typesetting. Oh, really? (pause.) Okay. I understand. (pause. ) Okay, how about this? Fuck you.
J:Oh, is that what you think? No, guess what? I have a better idea. Fuck you. No, FUCK YOU.
R::eek: (staring at J on the phone, utterly and completely stunned.)
J: No. No, I hope you die. Fuck off. Prick. (Slams down phone. It falls off the cradle. He pick it up and slams it down into the cradle repeatedly.)

He then stalks off, goes back to his desk, sits down, and resumes working as it nothing happened.

R, on the other hand, is still staring, face totally transfixed with apprehension, arms down at sides. I think he thought he was witnessing J have a nervous breakdown.

We eventually told him that the asian businessman on the phone was actually J messing with him, but for the rest of the night, he had a hard time getting over his shock. :lol:

08-13-2006, 01:17 PM
Oh you guys are all so mean! I never played a prank on anyone, I couldn't bring myself to do it, even if i wanted to.

I had many pranks done to me though, especially once all my co-workers realised how gullible I am, lol. They made the most of it - damn them all!

One that I remember well was when my coworker came up to me with a worried look on his face and said "I just read that complaint that customer made about you. I can't believe they stuck it up on the wall of the staffroom, it's so mean, are you okay?"

I was like "Huh?? What do you mean, what complaint?? Someone complained about me? Why, what did I do?" I was on the verge of tears, I was racking my brain trying to think of what i'd done wrong.

I think he was going to keep going with teasing me, but realised how upset I was getting, and said not to worry cause he just made it all up!

08-13-2006, 01:25 PM
The screen would have a nice message "Washing hard drive, please wait until done...."
That is awesome. Sadly, the days of walking drives (http://www.catb.org/jargon/html/W/walking-drives.html) were before my time, but my dad had some fun with them. Come to think of it, were I in MIT at that time, I would have probably been involved in quite a few of the more famous hacks (http://hacks.mit.edu/).

08-13-2006, 04:31 PM
:lol: I don't know if I still have my 10 to 15 pound 10Meg hard-drive or not. But I doubt I can get that sucker to "walk". That's alot of weight to overcome.

08-14-2006, 02:27 AM
The night stocker R stuck an EAS tag somewhere on me one day. So of course I beeped going out the door,

I'm not a fan of this gag. This one has the nasty problem of people being fired.

When I first started, I rode my bike to and from work and would put it in the warehouse for safekeeping. One night, the entertainment staff went and attached 4 tags on my bike. I started taking the bus at this point so I wasn't going to ride my bike very often. I set off the alarm going out. The manager waved me out without a problem. I found one tag and took it off.

Fast foward 3 years, I'm now responsible for the area these tags are mostly used in, store security is tighter, and the merch sup is just itching to have me fired and/or arrested.

I'm in a situation where I need to ride my bike to work. Beautiful day, so I don't think much of it. I walk my bike through the doors and set the alarm off. I have to explain to two managers what the situation was, take off another tag on my bike, and walk it to the staff room. (easier storage). Set off the alarm to that hallway. Explain to Another manager and take off a third tag! I go about work and end my shift and grab my bike to go home. I set off the entrance alarm AGAIN (avoided setting off the hallway alarm) and pull off the FOURTH tag! Another manager to tell and I check for any other tags.

Had the merch sup been there, I would have lost my job and would have to explain to the police what happened. Because of this, I don't think it's a very funny joke, especially when someone can get fired because of it.:(

08-14-2006, 02:58 AM
I can see where that might get kinda old kinda fast. Cute gag, but I imagine it's been done a few times.

I stuck a good, old fashioned post it note on our sales manager's back one morning. Didn't set off any alarms, but it said "I suck." proudly in nice black sharpie.

He walked around for at least two hours out in self serve before the store manager saw it and pulled it off.

Somehow, I was at the top of his list of suspects. Imagine that. ;)

08-14-2006, 03:44 AM
I wish the guy who TP'd my car last summer was still around.

I really, really want to pallet wrap his car, preferrably just before it's supposed to rain for the rest of the day/night.

El Barto
08-14-2006, 06:19 PM
Two workers got me good Saturday. There were 3 people on that afternoon. Me, the photo tech, and the cashier. I was stuck there until 9. The tech and cashier were leaving at 4. The two coming on to replace them like to mess with me. I got a call at 4:05, it was S (the tech coming in). He said that he was with B (cashier) and they were going to be late because B's Dads truck brokedown. :eek:

After I hung up I went to the photo lab to tell K she needed to stay late when the 2 weasels walked in the front door laughing. I rolled up the sales flyer that happened to be in my hand at the time and hit S (who was still holding his cell phone) in the head. They're both on the lookout now, they know revenge is coming. :devil:

09-10-2006, 06:27 AM
Two of the service desk coworkers and I played a prank on one of the office employees last night. One of the coworkers and I (other coworker called to have us do this prank) put all of the coupons unsorted in a bag so the office employee could do it this morning which is something that ticks him off.:devil: :roll: :lol:

09-10-2006, 10:26 AM
When we need more people on the checkouts, the supervisor there talks on the headset to the guy on customer services and tells them the names that they need to announce on the tannoy to come and help. One of the guys there is a bit..well, simple. Always gets me in giggles when they play a prank and get him to announce names such as "Teresa Green" or "Amanda Love" or "Joe King" :roll:

09-11-2006, 03:34 AM
Always gets me in giggles when they play a prank and get him to announce names such as "Teresa Green" or "Amanda Love" or "Joe King" :roll:

Maybe I'm just being slow tonight but "Teresa Green"?

09-11-2006, 03:38 AM
Maybe I'm just being slow tonight but "Teresa Green"?

T., Green ... ?
Like Jean Luc Picard's famous beverage? Tea, Earl Gray, hot.
Or: Tears a Green?

09-11-2006, 03:52 AM
Any employee who has us install an alarm or remote start into their personal vehicle is always at risk for a prank. The old standby is wiring up a relay so their brake pedal also becomes their horn switch.

I sometimes cut a screw in half, then stick the pointy end onto the exterior of the car with a bit of caulk. It looks exactly like someone drove a screw through the roof, or the hood, or whatever. Then we let them notice it when they pick the car up.

When we were first opening one of our stores, we had a pedestal in the middle of the speaker room with a 100 CD changer inside to play demo songs for the speakers. There was a touchpad on the top to let customers select CDs to hear. One of my coworkers was setting it up, and didn't realize I was hiding behind a nearby gondola with the remote for the CD player. I'd keep pausing the player, then starting it again when he whirled around to stare at it, then pausing it the instant he turned away. I literally had him tearing out his hair after about ten minutes.

09-11-2006, 11:09 AM
"Teresa Green"?

Trees are green.
I knew a girl at school called that, poor soul :D

09-11-2006, 08:33 PM
I used to know someone called Jenny Taylor.

So close...


09-11-2006, 09:30 PM
Oh, man, that pig #1 and pig #3 prank is priceless.

At Kinko's, you have to call out the names on the job jackets for people waiting. So it became the running gag to try and get people to yell out assine names in the store. We would call the front phones from the back room and ask co workers to go find made up customers with embarassing names.

Short pranks I've pulled are:

Walling up the accounts manager at Kinko's inside his office with cases of paper.

Leaving a power bar we'd re-formed into a really convincing dog turd on the floor of the lighting director's office at public television.

Taped porn to the teleprompter sheet during a newcast at WOLO (they had the old-fashioned paper-belt kind.)

Got a group of women together to flash boob at the newswoman while she was on air (we timed this and the porn prank to right before commercial breaks in case it threw off her concentration. Which it did.) This was when we had an all-female crew, and the male anchor was on vacation, so there were no men in the studio. The joke ended up being on us...a group of male pranksters, who had gotten wind of our plans, positioned an unused camera in the back of the studio and then patched it back to the control room. It didn't go on the air, but it DID go back to the control room, where an audience of guys had assembled. :rolleyes: So the pranksters got pranked.

Husband did an extremely rude one (offensive...stop reading if you dont' want to read something crude) to a co-worker at Kinko's. He made yet another prank call from another phone to the front.

Husband: J
Victim: S

S: Kinko's, open 24 hours, how can I help you?
J: I need to make a picture of my friend, but they won't copy it for me at the other store.
S: Why not? Is it copyrighted?
J: No, I dont' think so. They say it's dirty.
S: Well, I don't know. Why do they say it's dirty?
J: It's nothing. Me and my friend are naked, and I'm holding a flower. That's all.

I do not understand how this call got so far, frankly. The warning bells should have been firing off like crazy. I guess a steady diet of weed might make a guy a leeetle guilible.

S: Well, that doesn't sound too bad, if it's just nudity. You can probably bring it on in.
J: Okay, thanks. Well....you know,the flower is what caused them to not want to do it. But you can't see it in the picture.
S: :confused: Uh....
J:I'm holding it in my fist, and my fist is up the other guy's ass.

At that point, my coworker realized he was being pranked (I think). In any case, he burst out laughing.

09-12-2006, 12:54 AM
Our baggers used to pick on one of our pharmacists - this guy had just moved here from Poland, and had a very strong accent. They'd get him to page Wayne Gretzky to the pharmacy, or Seymour Butz, or Mike Hunt, etc.

On April Fools' a few years ago, I called the store on my cell while I was in the parking lot, and told the AM that I was calling in sick cuz I felt like I was coming down with something. Of course she asked what, and as I walked into the store and over to her office, I said it felt like a really bad case of *stuck my head into her office* April Fools! She laughed and called me a brat and said I really got her good.

Warning: This one is kinda perverted...
When my manager turned 50, I got him an 'old-age package' - I got the bakery to put icing on a bran muffin to make it look like a 'boobie', I got a package of prunes, and I put a bunch of blue mini m&m's in a container to simulate viagra (closest thing I could find that was small and blue!). And yes, I also paid for it all - less than $6 for an awesome prank!! I ceremoniously carried all this into his office and told him that life was all downhill from 50 forward, and these things might help him. I also gave him advice - don't eat all of this at one time and don't mix them together! He loved the 'presents' and kept them on his desk all day to show people! At least he has a good sense of humour!

09-12-2006, 06:38 PM
Oh, I've pulled some myself. Simple ones like calling a 1900 sex line and then transfering the call to the manager. That one, backfired. somewhat offensive content coming, censored for young readers.

Me: Dials number, then transfers to SM.
SM: In picking up the line, pushes the wrong button and broadcasts across the store.
Phone: Thank you for calling 1 900, HOT STUD. If you would like a strong hairy man, please press one now. If you would like...
SM (panicing) punching buttons to shut it up.
Phone: You have chosen..(sounds of cursing from SM and buttons being pushed.) Hi there. My name is frank. so what do you want to do to me?

That one got me in a bit of trouble, though he got me back later.

Others I've done, which can be equally as fun are:

Taking red spray paint cans and putting them in the baler under a load of card board. When the thing presses down on them, there's a loud BANG! and a red cloud surrounds the baler.

Standing outside the trash compactor, only to scream bloody murder and bang on the chute when I hear someone cycle it.

Random orange cones scattered about the store. Typically in the middle of aisles. This one can be great fun. Especially if you put an arrow on them pointing up. Leaves people wondering for days what the heck that cone is guarding.

Putting a cone over top of a small remote control car. (doable, but hard) Making sure the car can still roll, then watching a customer or associate near it. When they walk past, driving the cone to follow them and then watching them scratch their head trying to figure out how that cone moved on them.

Filling condoms up with helium and pawning them off on unsuspecting kids as balloons.

Putting a thumb tack in the wheel of a shopping cart. That way it makes an annoying click click click when it's pushed.

Walk behind a customer, and wait till you hear their name. Women are KNOWN for this, since they often call each other by their full names when in conversation. Then, once I know one's name, walking around another aisle, approaching the person and engaging them in conversation. Example: Why if it isn't Janet Cosington. I've not seen you in ages. How are you doing? Very fun watching them trying to figure out just who the heck you are, and how you know them.

One of my favorites though, happened in college.

A very good friend of mine and I had gone to the mall. I forget how many of us were there then, though I know we'd gone for lunch. Nothing else better to do and all. Well, while we're there, wandering around waiting for my girlfriend to get off work, H (the other guy) spots a mutual acquaintence. This other guy was a jock, you know the type, and tended to give H some difficulties because of his accent. H's voice was very high pitched. Looking at me, he grinned and said. "We're going to have some fun. Just stand here and smile." (we were by the women's clothing at the time.)

H strode over to the guy (and his GF) and this is what happened next:

H. (In a very...feminine voice) "J? Is that you? Oh yes. Why didn't you call me?
J. (stares at H)
H. Honey, we had such a good time last night, and then poof I wake up and you're gone. I mean dear, I know you were tired and all, but you coulda just stayed for breakfast. Wham bam thank you ma'am?"
J. (Tries to ignore H) Go away you freak. (His girlfriend, took interest).
G. But, J you said you were out with the guys last night....
H. Oh honey, trust me, he was out, that's for sure. And guys? Oh yes he's quite a guy...so, you going to call me? I mean, I've still got your undies. I'm wearing them now.
J. Turns several shades and then blubbers to his GF. "I didn't. He's lying."
G (Stares at J, tosses something at him and storms off.)

Now, I know it sounds mean, but the fun part was his girlfriend was in on the joke. J never bugged H about his voice after that, though he did send H a male stripper for his birthday. (shudder)

09-13-2006, 04:38 AM
Back at my old job, I would hide around corners or sneak up on coworkers to scare them. The trick was to remain 100% silent. No "BOO!"s or wacky arm flailing. Just stand there and wait. :devil:

09-15-2006, 03:52 AM
That is hilarious stuff Repsac, I'm going to buy some thumb tacks tomorrow.

We do ALOT of the phone sex number transfers.

A favorite is to turn on the page function, and hand it to a coworker and tell them they have a call.

A good one, at the store, if someone is on an opposite aisle you poke them with a tape measure thru the racks.

We put an associate's vest into the Refrigerated Foods Vending machine. He had to pay 2 dollars to get it back. You know the kind with the small sliding doors. Full glass panel on front.

We shrink wrapped the cars of all the people that quit or transfer. At least the ones we like.:D

We filled the locker of a manager with small plumbing pvc fittings. They poured out like marbles. LOL

Got more, but I'm to tired to type.


09-16-2006, 04:36 AM
some more quickies. Some are delayed reactions. I'm not sure if any have been posted.

Pull several cups out of the water cooler. Put a hole in them with a straight pin about halfway up. Cut a tiny bit of the bottom off others. Randomly re insert them in the cup holder.

Place an ice pack on a fellow employee's chair. Let it sit as long as possible and then remove it. When they sit down, the chair will be cold, but they'll think it's wet.

Take a good cedar pencil. Randomly strike it against something hard and then sharpen it. When asked if you have one, offer it. The graphite is in horrible shape now and won't hold a point long before breaking.

Take the inkwell out of several ball point pens. Replace with coffee stirrer straws cut to length. Now it works, but nothing ever comes out.

Alternatively, remove the springs. Lossen them. Now the pen works, but the ballpoint will keep retracting into the pen.

Take a sheet of paper and print in big blocky letters. "SERVICE COPIER SOON" on it. Copy several times and stick randomly into the copier tray. Watch fun when copier spits out a paper with that written on it. See how many times they call for service. For added fun, delicately stick the pages into unopened reams of paper. (Doable, but hard.)

Bathroom pranks:

When in the bathroom, make loud grunting sounds and then drop a softball into the bowl from about waist height. Sigh contentedly afterward.

Gross, but funny:

Put chocolate on a sheet of toilet paper. Head to the Loo. Find someone that's using it and "accidentally" drop the fake paper so it slips under their stall. Ask them to hand it back since you're not done with it yet. (remember, it's chocolate.) IF they give it back, take time to eat the chocolate off the paper. Make sure they see you.

09-16-2006, 02:09 PM
Back at my old job, I would hide around corners or sneak up on coworkers to scare them. The trick was to remain 100% silent. No "BOO!"s or wacky arm flailing. Just stand there and wait. :devil:

I'm NOTORIOUS for this. The strangest thing is, I never even try to do this, it just happens.:angel:

One of my managers did that once. A co worker was telling me something and he came up behind her. I thought he wanted to ask me something so I just waited until she finished. She turns around an then we nearly had to peel her off the ceiling. She SCREAMED too. The manager and I were laughing our asses off on that one.:lol:

09-17-2006, 02:44 AM
Years ago I worked in a grocery store deli. We had the best time with rubber rats, snakes and creepy plastic insects. We'd rig up the snake or rat to come flying out of the freezer when you opened the door, or just set the rat on top of a box in the walk-in cooler....it was so life like.

We'd keep clear plastic glasses in the walk-in cooler with water (wasn't suppose to but we did....got damn thirsty in there!) and every now and then we'd find an insect in our glass.

The random squeals and screams from the deli department would get our co-workers to come running from other departments to see who "found" the creepy critter!!!:lol:

10-22-2006, 03:50 AM
A woman I work with is really narcissistic, self-absorbed and annoying. She's 41 but acts about 14. She has more than a dozen photos of herself posted around her work station. She is the kind of person who loves puppy calendars, "lite" pop music radio stations, Celine Dion, US magazine, etc etc.

We have had issues about music at work, she brought in a boom box during December and started playing Christian music and Christmas carols without asking anyone else if they minded.

One day at work she was humming the intro guitar riff to "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple. She said, in her faux-14-year-old way "Omigawd, I've got this song in my head and I don't even know what it is!!". I thought this was hilarious. I told her it was "Smoke on the Water" and she still had no idea what I was talking about. Printed out the lyrics for her, still no recognition.

So when she went on break I downloaded a .wav file of the guitar riff to her computer, swapped it for the Windows log-on tune, and turned the volume all the way up. When she came back and logged on, her computer started playing "Smoke on the Water". The look on her face was priceless.

She knew immediately it was me, of course. I swapped the file back right away for her (she does not know how to tweak Windows settings) but she is still threatening to learn how and set my computer to play awful Christmas Carols like "Little Drummer Boy" and "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer".

10-22-2006, 06:40 AM
She is still threatening to learn how and set my computer to play awful Christmas Carols like "Little Drummer Boy" and "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer".

I like those songs. I think "Little Drummer Boy" is really interesting and "Granda Got Run Over By a Reindeer" is hilarious.:D :roll: :lol:

10-22-2006, 03:14 PM
I swapped the file back right away for her (she does not know how to tweak Windows settings) but she is still threatening to learn how and set my computer to play awful Christmas Carols like "Little Drummer Boy" and "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer".

How could people NOT like "Little Drummer Boy"? :confused:

You want annoying Christmas music, try hearing 15 different versions of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" in a 7 1/2 hour shift.

10-22-2006, 03:44 PM
How could people NOT like "Little Drummer Boy"?I don't like really repetitive songs. That one's OK, but definitely not on my top 10 list. The one I absolutely hate most of all is "The 12 Days of Christmas". :runaway:

10-22-2006, 03:47 PM
You want annoying Christmas music, try hearing 15 different versions of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" in a 7 1/2 hour shift.

ANY christmas son played that many times is enough to drive me crazy.

And yet I'm not allowed to put in Trans-Siberian Orchestra albums.:cry:

10-22-2006, 03:57 PM
And yet I'm not allowed to put in Trans-Siberian Orchestra albums.While I love my TSO albums, I can sort of understand the reason behind that.

Businesses love to play that traditional and pop stuff that people are more familair with.

Some of the more "Christmasey" TSO songs have started to become more popular and better known as Chsristmas music, but there are still quite a few cuts on the albums that aren't actually Christmas sounding or even Christmas themed.

10-22-2006, 04:45 PM
I once wrote "DONKEYBOY" on a sticky label and stuck it to a co-worker's shirt. He wore the same shirt later that night to the movies. :D

10-22-2006, 04:57 PM
I LOVE the Trans-Siberian Orchestra!!!!!

My family starts playing Xmas music November 16 - a tradition we 'adopted' from my best friend's family. Her dad has all the music (and the CLASSICS) on tapes...and still has a tape deck. He drives everyone INSANE with it because he refuses to buy new speakers (they can afford them) and the tapes are sooo old... We think he's tone deaf haha.

10-23-2006, 02:41 AM
The one I absolutely hate most of all is "The 12 Days of Christmas". :runaway:

Try hearing the Muppets version. Not bad, but Miss Piggy's grating voice on "five golden rings" makes me want to punch the wall.

10-23-2006, 05:27 AM
I like all Christmas songs. I can't think of one I don't like.:D

10-23-2006, 04:03 PM
Try hearing the Muppets version. Not bad, but Miss Piggy's grating voice on "five golden rings" makes me want to punch the wall.

I was glad to send it to you, Becks.

10-23-2006, 06:25 PM
And yet I'm not allowed to put in Trans-Siberian Orchestra albums.:cry:

I wonder how they'd react if you put in something like King Diamond's "No Presents for Christmas." :devil:

10-23-2006, 06:54 PM
How could people NOT like "Little Drummer Boy"? :confused: What can I say, I hate "Kumbaya" and any other over-used, emotionally syrupy song. Somebody's got to be the curmudgeon.

10-23-2006, 08:19 PM
I wonder how they'd react if you put in something like King Diamond's "No Presents for Christmas." :devil:

Or a certain song by John Denver....

10-23-2006, 10:57 PM
My favorite is Father Christmas by The Kinks.

Ringtail Z28
10-24-2006, 12:27 AM
I've always liked the Night Santa Went Crazy by Weird Al. It kinda sums up my feelings on the holidays.

10-24-2006, 06:00 AM


10-25-2006, 01:43 AM
Or a certain song by John Denver....

Thank God I'm A Country Boy?

10-25-2006, 02:57 AM
I've always liked the Night Santa Went Crazy by Weird Al.

Oh, I would LOVE if they played that at work!!!!!!!

Although last year, they added a certain holiday song by Adam Sandler to the mix. :D

10-25-2006, 04:18 PM
Thank God I'm A Country Boy?

Please Daddy Don't Get Drunk This Christmas.

10-25-2006, 04:26 PM
I've always liked the Night Santa Went Crazy by Weird Al. It kinda sums up my feelings on the holidays.

No Christmas At Ground Zero? One of my friends, who was a dj at the college station, would actually play that the day before Christmas break started.

10-25-2006, 04:42 PM
Where I work we have a little mini-feud going with the next closest store in our chain. One of my buddies called up the other store and asked if they had "The Bible Game 2" in stock and the poor sucker over there spent like 10 minutes trying to find it (The Bible Game, does in fact exist, but there is no sequel), he was pissed and vowed to get back at us for it.

Another time they called us up and had me do a lookup on some item that turned out to be some kind of erotica game (don't ask me why we had this game in our database I have no clue).

So last week I called their store pretending to be a dumb customer who wanted to put a PS3 on layaway. I'm just waiting for the revenge prank. :)

10-26-2006, 05:26 AM
Oh! good retaliation on this CC! Phone them, tell them the release date for Burning Crusade is Nov 28 and demand to do a pre-order!:devil:

Note: best estimate for it from Blizzard is January 07.

10-26-2006, 04:34 PM
Oh! good retaliation on this CC! Phone them, tell them the release date for Burning Crusade is Nov 28 and demand to do a pre-order!:devil:

Note: best estimate for it from Blizzard is January 07.

Awww son of a bitch! It's in our system for Dec. 15, I think a lot of people were hoping on it for Xmas. Boy I'm going to have fun breaking that news to them.

10-27-2006, 02:37 PM
Personally, I think Blizzard push the date so that people will spend the money on their new trading card game.

That and they don't want to work the holidays fixing everything that dies after server loads go through the roof.

10-27-2006, 03:11 PM
When I worked a electronics store the different departments called each other asking ridiculous questions. The music and movies dept would call home audio asking for a dvd rewinder and home audio would call them back asking for erotic dvds. Once I called the Car Audio department asking when the car lot was open so I could look at some cars to buy. I managed to argue with the CA associate for about 5-10 minutes. Also one of my coworkers would pretend he was an associate from the competitor checking a price match each time he called for his work schedule.

Now at the restaurant I work at our POS is really simple to use. We have a button that you can indicate quantity with. One slow night a bunch of my coworkers were placing 100 of a certain item on hold, transfering the entire check to someone, then going into that person's account and accepting the transfer. I was lucky enough to evade the order for 100 shots of hennesy [sp?]. They also like to spike each other's drinks with tabasco and table salt.

10-27-2006, 03:40 PM
They never did push the date. They labelled it as Q4 06 before. For the game market, it usually means anywhere from November to January. Besides, better a quality product that's later than a piece of Junk immediately.

10-27-2006, 03:43 PM
it will come out in 3 weeks
(inside joke, dunno if anyone will get it )
most of their games come out in june if i remember right, including expansions
like almost all their games have come out the same month, its kinda weird

10-27-2006, 06:40 PM
The music and movies dept would call home audio asking for a dvd rewinder

I did that to my wife shortly after I bought our first DVD player. We had just finished watching our first movie on it, and I asked her to eject it, and "Don't forget to rewind it." I saw her moving her finger along the row of buttons, trying to find the nonexistent "rewind." And then, "Oh, you jerk!" once she realized she'd been had. :lol:

10-27-2006, 08:17 PM
Aye, but this (http://www.gizmodo.com/archives/dvd-rewinder-016644.php) is commercially available.

I had fun yesterday in prankland. I was in customer services, where we are often the people who set up accounts. Along came a member of the IT department to ask us to set up staff shopping accounts for a couple of our casual staff, as they were about to get their IT training (this includes basics stuch as how to email and how to shop at our place). I followed the sheet he gave me with the differences and he went on his merry way.

Now, when we sign up a new account, we have to ask if there are any delivery restrictions, such as low bridges or narrow lanes nearby. We record these on the standing delivery note fields.

During the training, one chap had to put in his account number in front of others to show what happens. He did so, then looked down.

"'Crap taste in music'?" he read out. "Where did that come from?"

I was grinning for the rest of the day.


10-27-2006, 09:11 PM
I wasn't part of these, but they happened at work.

BACKSTORY: There's this guy at work who is probably 60-ish. He's been at the store for about 10 years, and is a staple in the store. He's one of the nicest people, and the most insane (even here...) He's hilarious to work with...never a dull moment. We pick on him for fun, and he loves every second. He's been around so long that he's been in almost every department. These are pranks played on and by him (since most of them in the store involve him).

1 - When he was in the bakery, he had these thick cokebottle glasses he wore (he's since had eye surgery to correct his vision). One of the cake decorators took a pie plate and filled it with buttercream frosting. We use real butter with ours, so it's nice and light and fluffy....and sticky. He was washing dishes, and she held it next to his face, and called his name. When he looked, she took and smashed the pie plate of frosting in his face. It took him WEEKS to get it out of his glasses.

2- there was also the morning they put a 5-gallon bucket of water in the freezer for a few hours. When he got there, they gave him a 'shower'. He had to change...

3 - This one was played by him. One of the baggers he's friends with was at the service desk doing...something, and there was a phone right next to his head. P (the prankster) took the phone in the front of the store (about 50 feet from each other) and used the speaker function to turn the other phone's speaker phone on. He says "you're a bad bad person, you have to go kill yourself" (no insensitivity to suicidal thoughts - this is simply their sense of humor). It was HILARIOUS because D (the bagger) jumped several feet in the air, then GLARED at P. The store was dead, so it was REALLY REALLY funny.

I've been involved in these:

1 - one of our managers was TERRIFIED of lizards. Being in florida, we find them everywhere. We were blocking ice cream toppings, and we found a little lizard hanging out on a bottle of chocolate syrup. The other cashier and I look at each other, and take it to D (the manager, not the bagger...lol). We said we were 'giving her a present', and showed it to her. She was behind the front counter. She hit the back wall (of the front counter) because she jumped back so hard.

2 - When I was in the bakery, I was closing one night with K. I was on the phone with a customer taking a cake order, and K was cleaning out the donut glazer. All of a sudden, I felt a warm, wet, sticky finger in my ear. I looked at K and mouthed 'i hate you'. I started laughing, and had to explain to the customer what had just happened so she didn't think I was laughing at her. She was a great sport about it, and was laughing also. I had to clean my ear out after I got off the phone. I payed him back by 'decorating' the back of his neck with black piping gel. That stuff stains :devil:

3 - Another night, I was closing in the bakery with K and M. We were cleaning up the baking pans, and throwing away the pan liners. M balled one up and chucked it at me, so I threw it back. It evolved into a full-fledged wadded-up-liner fight that eventually led to the hose. Surprisingly, we got everything done that night. The manager didn't let us close together again though lol (we were like the 3 musketeers).

That's all I can think of right now. I'm sure I'll think of some more.

10-27-2006, 09:34 PM
My boss played an email one on me today.

Backstory - this guy is a pretty serious guy. Doesn't joke about, is strict when it comes to using work email for non work related stuff, so it was totally unexpected. I read the first paragraph and was :eek:

And then I read on. I phoned him and told him not to do that to me again.

Here's the email:

Subject: New HR Policy
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called YOUR DAYs Off - If your are Lucky.

Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon or early morning We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently start one hour later or leave one hour early.

Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.!!!!!!

Irving Patrick Freleigh
10-28-2006, 04:57 AM
One time at work a couple of co-workers were having a little bit of argument over something. I guess one of them wanted to know where some lamp was was, and the other gave a vague description. So they were going back and forth for a few minutes over the walkie-talkies.

When this happened, we had an electronic toy with buttons you could push to hear a quote from The Simpsons. For example, pushing one button made Bart say "Aye Carumba!", another would play Homer saying "D'oh!, and another would cause Apu to say "Thank you, come again!"

One of the buttons would play Nelson Muntz saying "Shut up or I'll pound all of you!" I grabbed the toy, pushed the talk button on the walkie-talkie and had Nelson say his bit.

None of the managers heard this, fortunately, Everybody else thought it was hilarious.

10-28-2006, 07:00 AM
Remembered a few more:

The store had this huge bumper sticker sized stickers that we used when an item was too large to fit in a plastic bag. Someone from the Home Audio department would go around to various departments sticking them to the backs of coworkers. He was so sneaky about it too. One guy had it on him for a good hour. He helped many customers during that time and each of them noticed but noone said anything.

Another prank the HA guys would do required a team effort. While the cohort was distracting the victim, preferably on the second floor of the store and on the way to lunch or home, the prankster would place a security sensor sticky upside down on the ground. Little does the victim know that after he or she steps on it they are subject to setting off not one, but THREE secuirty gates. Sometimes the prankster would stick it on wallets, cell phones, or other belongings which were left in the terminal's drawers.

Irving Patrick Freleigh
10-28-2006, 05:53 PM
Another prank the HA guys would do required a team effort. While the cohort was distracting the victim, preferably on the second floor of the store and on the way to lunch or home, the prankster would place a security sensor sticky upside down on the ground. Little does the victim know that after he or she steps on it they are subject to setting off not one, but THREE secuirty gates. Sometimes the prankster would stick it on wallets, cell phones, or other belongings which were left in the terminal's drawers.

At my store, pranks with the security stickers are highly frowned upon. They are expensive and hard to get sometimes.

06-06-2007, 07:41 PM
I thought I remembered there being a "Pranks at work" thread, and for some reason, I just remembered this one.

This is another one from the supermarket. The store manager used to carry a ring on his belt that held many keys, which rattled every time he took a step. You could hear him approach from several aisles over, so if you were goofing off, you knew to start looking busy.

One night, he left early, and one of my coworkers decided to go into the back room and take a nap in one of the bays. So I waited a few minutes for him to get settled, walked back there myself, got out my keys, and rattled them while I went thru.

I never saw that guy move so fast in my life. :devil: :lol:

Andara Bledin
06-06-2007, 10:31 PM
The thread you're thinking of, Mike, is the Hazings, etc one. I forget where it was, though.


06-07-2007, 03:58 PM
The past two summers I worked in a park, both as campground staff, and as a camp counsellor.
The camp was the best for pranks. For one, we had the kids believing so many stories! Like that there was a crazed axe murderer loose in the woods who would hack you to death if he caught you leaving your campfire unattended. (Gee, guess why we started that one?) The story is so scary kids have wet themselves, thrown up...yeah. This story has been going for at least 50 of the 93 years this camp has been running. The owner has a scar on his neck from back surgery that he tells the kids is from "where the axe murderer almost got him." On canoe trips, the counsellors will get up at ungodly hours of the night to chop wood near the kids tents, and since the axe murderer has a blue canoe...they take blue pastels and smear it on the rocks when they get to a portage.
In fact, on year my BF who also worked at the camp took a portable radio and he and his boss ran around the island "chasing the axe murder" while all the while the kids who were at campfire could hear it over the owner's radio. We had eigth graders in hysterics.
Also, sent one of the kitchen assistants all over the island looking for a swiss cheese hole punch. She DID NOT GET that it was a joke. She spent HOURS looking for this thing cause she thought she would be fired if she didn't find it!
At the park office, we also had walkie talkies which caused a lot of pranks. I hid one in the mainteneace workers truck and then told them a story about how some campers lost their cat (True). So when they went to the truck, I meowed through the walkie talkie. :D
They got me back though. We would always call each other dumb names over the radio, so later that day when I needed them at the office, I called something like "chocolate fudge to chunky monkey" over the radio.
A *very* annoyed voice came on and asked who was on the radio. They said to get off the ranger frequencey and gave the call number that belonged to the head warden. I thought our walkie talkies had somehow gotten on to the CB radio frequency the rangers used, and I was in shit!
Later that day they fessed up and we had a great laugh

Kitten in the box
06-08-2007, 04:31 AM
One time when it was raining outside a few years ago some co-workers decided to buy a crap load of flour at my work and take it outside and pour it ALL OVER a fellow co-worker's car as a joke. When I went outside to get something I saw flour all over his car and I came in laughing. The co-worker whose car got floured (he didn't know it yet) asked me what was so funny and I said "Some dude got his car antiqued (had flour all over it) so I feel for that guy." My buddy laughed with me and went out to see how bad it was...he came in REALLY PISSED and demanded that the guilty party remove the flour from his car. (they didn't only because he started the prank wars by covering one of the guys' cars with shrink wrap)

06-08-2007, 09:25 PM
I used to be a deputy sheriff, and our district sergeant was usually referred to as Sgt. Schultz (as from Hogan's Heroes.) We had a party once for his birthday, and one of the guys found a ball cap that seemed to have been designed just for the sergeant. It had two bills set at a 45 degree angle, and the cap itself said, "I'm their boss, which way did they go?" He never even tipped to the fact that the cap was making fun of him, and wore it often on his days off.

06-09-2007, 06:43 PM
This was done to our LT and our Craftmaster at my unit.

Back in the day, when I was in the Navy, I was a mechanic on a Navy hovercraft (see pic). One of the normal maintenance tasks on these hovercraft was to give them a real good bath in order to wash off all the salt that built up on them from the sea spray they generated. This bathing was generally done with firehoses.

Hovercraft (http://picasaweb.google.com/sngillis/Misc/photo#5068536264304323042)

One of the features of a hovercraft is a bow thruster, which is a big air nozzle that sits above the lift fans and uses some of the air from the lift fans to push to front of the craft around (if you look at the pic, the front of the craft is on the right; right behind the part that has the writing LCAC-33 is the lift fans, on top of that you can see a curved grey nozzle pointing foward, this is a bow thruster). Bow thrusters can turn a full circle so they can point forward or backward. Of course, if you are off cushion, all the air from the lift fans goes out the bow thrusters and can reach speeds of 250 MPH.

Now during a cleaning, you need to clean off the props and the lift fans and this is best done by starting the main engines and getting the lift fans and props turning. The you just spray the firehoses at them and give them a good rinsing.

So one day we are cleaning the boat, and our LT comes out to talk to our Craftmaster. The engines on the boat are running, so it is noisy and the LT and the Chief step off the boat and walk some distance away from the front of the boat to talk while we cleaned. I'm, of course, running a firehose across the boat getting it clean when my boatswain told me over the headphones to start cleaning the lift fans. I start doing this and after a few seconds I hear the boatswain and the craft engineer laughing their asses off over the coms system.

Seems while I was spraying water into the lift fans, the engineer had reached over and started rotating the bow thrusters to point forward, and the laughter was due to our chief and the LT running hell bent for leather to get away from the sudden monsoon of water spraying out of the bow thruster at them. And what was worse was the engineer aiming as they ran.

Kept us smiling for days (and the chief and LT were good sports about it).

06-10-2007, 08:27 AM
I think my favorite prank was one my uncle pulled at his school. He'd been teaching there for years, and was going to shave his beard off. But he's from a family of smartasses, and decided to do it a little differently. I believe the principal was in on it, and he knew it'd never fool his students... but when he shaved, he dyed his hair a bit and wore a nicer shirt than usual... and went as his own substitute teacher. Since he'd done decent ventriloquism in his misspent youth, I have no difficulty believing he could keep up a voice and mannerisms not quite like himself, for one day.

Keeping a straight face for that day... that would be the real challenge.