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View Full Version : Skankiest of Skanks (Beware of nausea-inducement)


wagegoth
08-17-2006, 08:00 PM
One evening, I'm at the local chain drugstore waiting to check out. Two customers ahead of me is one of the scariest things I've ever seen in my life. (I give thanks today that I didn't have to stand next to her in line.)

A woman in a tight, slutty, bare, red dress is checking out, probably on her way to a bar. She looks like she's pushing forty, but that could be the mileage. She's buying cigarettes, among other things, and has a can of cheap body spray.

As I half watch her, I realize that her skin is really blotchy. I mean, like parts of her skin on legs and arms have peeled off. It's deep pink mixed in with bad tan. This is not vitiligo (I had a friend once who had it, this is definitely not it). My skin is starting to crawl, nausea is arising :puke: and sympathy for the cashier is the only other thing I can feel. I start wondering if it's leprosy or late stage of some STD.

The cashier totals the sale, tells the skank, who then counts her money, and, of course, comes up short. We (everyone in line) then wait as the cashier has to tell her the price of each individual item. Skank asks the cashier for a discount on the body spray, "since it's not full and someone must have used it."

Cashier says, "I'm sorry, I can't do that. If you want the spray, we'll get another can and you can buy that one."

Skank grabs can, shoves it between her legs, and sprays a huge blast.

:eek: We are all in shock.

Skank then puts the can back on the counter and says, "That's okay. I won't be needing it." See above.:eek:

Cashier takes her money without a word, and we hold our breaths as she leaves.

I almost didn't check out. The thought of being near anything that woman had been near scared me, but I needed the stuff I had.

EWWWWWWWWWW, ICK, EWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Think Blue
08-17-2006, 09:19 PM
OMG EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :eek: :eek: :puke:

Lace Neil Singer
08-17-2006, 09:45 PM
:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

Sorry for all the puking smilies, but words can't fully express the extreme nausea I'm now thinking. EWWWness!!!!

MystyGlyttyr
08-17-2006, 09:45 PM
Can I get a "please charge for theft of product"? Damn. That'd be like opening a soda, taking a big gulp of it, and trying to hand it to the cashier...that's theft, sucker!

(OMG, I just realized I really did make a nasty pun. *GAG!*)

Mr. Rude
08-17-2006, 10:04 PM
What a cruddy skank!! *searchs for portable woodchipper & tosses same skank in*

:chipper:

wagegoth
08-17-2006, 10:56 PM
Can I get a "please charge for theft of product"? Damn. That'd be like opening a soda, taking a big gulp of it, and trying to hand it to the cashier...that's theft, sucker!

(OMG, I just realized I really did make a nasty pun. *GAG!*)

I think that the cashier would have given her the stuff for free just to get her to leave without the cashier having to physically touch anything touched by the skank.

Kiwi
08-17-2006, 11:09 PM
the worst part

thats just going to make her you know what smell even worse

serves any guy right for going near a creature like that

thats not theift thats just... revolting

LostMyMind
08-17-2006, 11:18 PM
Am I the only one that thought that maybe the slut's patties didn't start out crotchless?

Irving Patrick Freleigh
08-18-2006, 12:06 AM
:wtf: :puke:

My God. I hope they threw that can away and didn't just put it back on the shelf.

I think I would've chuffed if I had been there to see that. And I don't puke easily.

lordlundar
08-18-2006, 12:40 AM
:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

Oh man... that goodness I haven't eaten yet.

RecoveringKinkoid
08-18-2006, 03:37 AM
Am I the only one that thought that maybe the slut's patties didn't start out crotchless?

:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

Acolyte
08-18-2006, 07:34 AM
Greeeeeaaaat. Now I'm gonna have nightmares.

Plaidman
08-18-2006, 03:29 PM
:eek: :lol: :puke: As gross as it its, its sort of funny. I would have cracked up laughing at the gross lady. "Aint going help ya land a suger daddy woman!"

Severen13
08-18-2006, 05:53 PM
That is just....*gross*

morgana
08-18-2006, 06:13 PM
:puke:

Oh man... that goodness I haven't eaten yet.

I was just getting ready to start. :eek: Thanks for the help on my diet.


Morgana

Tria
08-18-2006, 08:36 PM
:eek: :lol: :puke: As gross as it its, its sort of funny.


Yay! I'm not alone!

LostMyMind
08-18-2006, 09:36 PM
Might be funny to read about, but if I had to actually see that. :puke: might actually be reality

Becks
08-18-2006, 09:36 PM
Am I the only one that thought that maybe the slut's patties didn't start out crotchless?

:spew: That's too funny. :lol: I need Brain Bleach®™© now.

DGoddessChardonnay
08-19-2006, 02:10 AM
She could have passed along the cost to her johns for "maintenance."

That way, she'd have no excuse to not be able to afford to keep herself clean in between appointments. :rimshot:

LadyMage
08-19-2006, 10:06 AM
Dude, please pass the mental floss. I think that image won't come out now. :banghead: :puke:

chainedbarista
08-19-2006, 08:06 PM
mental floss, brain bleach, deep meditation, bashing my head against a wall; i just don't think that image will go away any time soon.

i'm wondering what kind of lighting would be flattering to that, other than PITCH BLACKNESS...? someone's had to have made a grab on it, but not in real lighting, i'd hope. :eek: