View Full Version : Going Out with a Bang...sorta

08-22-2006, 06:00 PM
To remind you, I work guest check-in at my college dorms, three years running.

I've spent the summer living at the dorms in which I work, long story, won't go into details, but it's an experience I will never forget. I moved in on account of Housing needing night desk people; normally I'd work dayshift but they needed night covers, I needed hours, it worked well for everyone.

EGAD if I didn't encounted a whole new breed of WTFness. GodDAMN.

So this is how my next-to-last night went. It was supposed to be my LAST night. You'll see why that didn't work.

There was a guy, M, who is a complete raving asshat. I'm sure I've posted about him either on the forum or in my journal for those on that list. Basically, this asshat thinks that just because he pays money like everyone else, he's somehow exempt from the rules when he'd come in as a guest. So he moved in for the second half of summer. Oh joy. Him and his friend J were the WORST troublemakers I have EVER seen. Completely disregarding policy, coming in drunk, partying all the time and bitching at US for not being open 24-7. Being on till 4 am isn't enough for them.

So, back story over. J comes down to the desk with a girl, attempts to hand me a Xerox of a passport as an ID. No, no can do, we don't accept Xeroxes OR passports (liability for passports is too severe). So she hands me a NYS driver's license.

FAKE. OBVIOUSLY a fake. Wrong font. Wrong colors. And trust me, this girl IS NOT 23. Not to mention I see her put a second ID back into her purse. So I ask to see that.

Color drains from BOTH their faces. J asks why and I point out to him that the ID's a fake. Girl starts to pitch a hissy and I pull out my ID.

I compare them and I say, "Seriously, if you have to have a fake ID, at least have the font done right. Now let me see the other one. If it's real, you go in."

So they STFU and she hands me the second ID. I compare it against mine. Looks real enough, face compares just fine, but something doesn't sit right with me. I don't get it, the ID SHOULD be real. I'm not noticing any signs of fakeness yet. So I sign her in for now but keep turning the ID over.

Then I notice:
1. peeling laminate in the back
2. crease down the middle
3. lack of hologram.


I've been had. TWICE.

I call the supervisory on duty, call over security and the RA and ask them one question: "Does this look real to you?"

All except one said NOT REAL. One said that she wouldn't call it yet.

Security supervisor comes over, looks it over, compares it to his...and promptly goes up to boot out the girl. Yes, the SECOND ID she passed me was a fake.

You have to be KIDDING ME. Mind you, all of this took place in the first HOUR. *headdesk* Thank you murphy, now repeal your law already, this is getting real old.

Okay, shift goes on, putter-putter.....and in comes my coworker. DRUNK. I mean, D-RUNK! I mean, confuses my name for something it's not drunk. And asks me to cover her tomorrow morning double. Uh, how about NO. Well, i ended up covering the nightshift so that the day guy won't have to do triple.

So, down comes my superbly cool coworker S. and since he works only half-shift but does so every night, I usually stay up and talk to him since he's great and as a bonus, since he's new, I supervise his work. The kid's got eyes that notice everything I do not. He's younger than me, relatively new to the school and will likely continue my Legacy of Efficient, Militant Desk People.

So he comes down, punches in, I punch out, and in comes another of my regulars with his girlfriend and asks us to have police detain her.

What. The. HELL?!

No idea, neither would say anything, the girl's not entirely stable...and she leaves. Resident goes after her. S and I are like, "Dude, I have NO idea what that's about." Our security guard is BAFFLED. Girl does end up detained and escorted in by the cops to sign out. That is something NEW. Resident looks thoroughly rattled but I do NOT blame him.

So yes, another few mins creep by and one of our other residents signs in a hooker. No, not joking, and yes, it happens, a lot. I didn't even CATCH it until security pointed out to us that the girl he signed in regularly....services....around this building.

*shakes head* Man oh man.

I've moved back home again and I will seriously miss talking to S in the wee hours.

08-23-2006, 03:04 AM
Wow. Any ONE of those would make for good reading, but all of them together? You should've given a "Needs Popcorn" warning. :lol:

:comforting pats: there, there™®

08-23-2006, 03:40 AM
hehehe, Becky, that's for the stories I will acquire in the fall!

I have to tell ya though...now that I'm back home, i'm starting to miss the dorm!


BTW, the girl who got arrested? She came back!!! Apparently Drunk Coworker signed her in on the account of missing info, again, and she came down looking like she was going to bawl. S and I were there again and we're like, "buh??"