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Lace Neil Singer
09-05-2006, 11:32 AM
This happened to me a couple of days ago when I was in Boots. I'm going to see my boyf Sunday night this week, and I'd run out of a certain rubber product. Anyway, I'm standing in the queue clutching 2 packets of said rubber product (they were on special offer!) and this middle aged woman behind me mutters, "Slut." In my hearing, and obviously meaning me to overhear! I turned round and said to her, "At least I'm a safe slut." She had the decency to look embarrassed and said nothing back, but I couldn't believe she was so rude! What business is it of hers, anyway? :rolleyes:

Sientara
09-05-2006, 12:19 PM
Working at a hospital, some departments have uses for that rubber products that require them to buy in bulk at the last minute. I feel sorry for the girl who usually gets tasked with going to the store and buying all the ones on the shelf.

ArenaBoy
09-05-2006, 12:49 PM
In my hearing, and obviously meaning me to overhear! I turned round and said to her, "At least I'm a safe slut."

I broke Rule #1 when I read that, my screen needs cleaning anyway. She doesn't have the right to make comments when one is buying things like that.

Fera Festiva
09-05-2006, 02:35 PM
Wow Lace - major kudos to you on that comeback. You go! :roll:

And yeah, what a cow. She had no right to comment on what you were buying, and I hope your words made her think about that.

Broomjockey
09-05-2006, 03:32 PM
Also, having fun with your boyfriend doesn't make you a slut. That lady had no idea what was going on. She never would have made that comment to a guy. Also, how does she know the purpose you are gonna put them to? They also make a great poor mans blood pack for amatuer film makers.

Ryu
09-05-2006, 04:16 PM
dont be too sure about that broomjockey
if i was the kind to be vocal enough to say something like that, itd go for both sexes
luckily even if i disapprove of something, as long as it doesnt affect me or others who dont want to be affected, i leave them alone about it

Becks
09-05-2006, 04:23 PM
Good for you, Lace!!!!!!!!!! :salute: :worship:

Wow. Who does that woman think she is?

If it had been me in that situation, and I could think of this quick enough, I'd say something along the lines of "Buying these makes me a slut, so I won't use them, and I'll look forward to YOU helping pay for me to raise the resulting children." :devil: :angel:

technical.angel
09-05-2006, 04:36 PM
In the theatre class that does stage makeup, we needed KY. This is to prevent nose putty from sticking to fingers. Being a class full of young high schoolers, we all pitched in money for a giant tube, then drew straws for the person who'd have to go buy it.

I was the unlucky one.

:: hangs head ::

Jenni, the :angel: who tells totally pointless stories.

LostMyMind
09-05-2006, 04:39 PM
:lol: poor technical.angel. That must have been one wide-eye cashier that day.

technical.angel
09-05-2006, 04:42 PM
I think I was... what, a very young looking 15 at the time...

Jenni :angel:

NightAngel
09-05-2006, 05:07 PM
I used to have a doctor that liked to really load his patients up with the free samples the various companies would send his office. Every patient left his office with a little brown paper bag full of junk.

At the time I was 14 or 15 and still carrying a purse. I had shoved the bag into my purse and mostly forgotten about it until a friend of mine's hand swelled up and his rings were cutting off the circulation to his fingers. We tried ice and putting his hand under cold water but nothing helped.

So, I dug through my bag to see if I had any hand lotion or anything that might help slip the rings off and there in my sample bag was a little sample packet of KY Jelly. Of course it worked like a charm and saved him having to go and have his rings cut off- he was greatful.

I, however, caught Hell from my friends for weeks over having KY readily available in my bag. :lol:

skeptic53
09-05-2006, 06:31 PM
Back when dinosaurs ruled the earth and I was a lad, the baby aspirin and Sudafed were on the shelf; the condoms were behind the counter. Took a bit of nerve to ask for them. Now the condoms are on the shelf, the baby aspirin and Sudafed are locked up.

Two 5-year-olds are hanging out. One says "I found a condom on the veranda!" The other says "What's a veranda?"

repsac
09-05-2006, 06:52 PM
One of my hobbies is model railroading. I found curiously enough that KY jelly works WONDERS for lubricating plastic gears. Also, it helps when you're trying to clean some surfaces. (fake water and such) since it doesn't smear everywhere and doesn't affect the paint.

That said, I've also found that "certain rubber products" also work great when trying to put glue in just the right places since most piping bags are too big. Just a tiny pin prick in the end and I can put the glue, paint, or whatever, where I want it.

Still, I've also learned, not to buy them both at the same time in large quanities.

Tria
09-05-2006, 09:06 PM
That said, I've also found that "certain rubber products" also work great when trying to put glue in just the right places since most piping bags are too big. Just a tiny pin prick in the end and I can put the glue, paint, or whatever, where I want it.


Tiny prick, eh? *Ducks*

ladodger34
09-05-2006, 09:38 PM
Back when dinosaurs ruled the earth and I was a lad, the baby aspirin and Sudafed were on the shelf; the condoms were behind the counter. Took a bit of nerve to ask for them. Now the condoms are on the shelf, the baby aspirin and Sudafed are locked up.

This one is from my dad..

Back in his early days in retail, the condoms were behind the counter as well. He said one of the pharmacy techs was especially hot, making it even more nerve wracking for some guys to ask for them.

Customer asks my dad if he can go to the pharmacy tech and get condoms for the customer. My dad told him something along the lines of "If you aren't a big enough boy to go ask for the condoms, maybe you aren't a big enough boy to use them".

Lace Neil Singer
09-05-2006, 09:40 PM
Still, I've also learned, not to buy them both at the same time in large quanities.

So many raised eyebrows if you did. :lol:

XCashier
09-05-2006, 10:19 PM
Anyway, I'm standing in the queue clutching 2 packets of said rubber product (they were on special offer!) and this middle aged woman behind me mutters, "Slut."
"I'll tell your husband you said that." :devil:

Seriously, MYOB, Nosy Nellie! At least she's being responsible!

Slave to the Phone
09-06-2006, 02:28 AM
Two 5-year-olds are hanging out. One says "I found a condom on the veranda!" The other says "What's a veranda?"

Rule #1 violation just happened. Oh, darn. *blows nose and wipes keyboard*

To the OP, I'd have just smiled at the old hag and said "But I'm a married slut with a yeast infection. When's the last time you got any?"

This might be TMI, but even long time faithful couples can need condoms on occasion. My SO came to me with herpes. He was honest and due to condoms I haven't caught anything. Its been almost 18 years.

[Forum geezer] I can remember when condoms were one size fits all and the best ones were made out of sheep guts [/FG]

Not only that, I can remember the short period of time when I could walk into the drugstore and actually be able to brouse through the condoms instead of having to ask a pharmacy clerk to hold each and every package up so I can find the pick the one that suits my needs this time.

I really feel sorry for kids these days.

Lehk
09-06-2006, 04:08 AM
Wow Lace - major kudos to you on that comeback. You go! :roll:

And yeah, what a cow. She had no right to comment on what you were buying, and I hope your words made her think about that.


people like her don't tend to think very much, they just believe what they are told to believe by other stupid people.

unfortunately most people all over the world are like that and that's how we get wonderful things like racism, sexism, and religious hate.

Sunsetsky
09-06-2006, 04:10 AM
Wow, my reaction would've been, "At least I'm getting some." :angel:

RebeccaOTool
09-06-2006, 07:06 PM
Nice one! :lol:

tonydanza
09-07-2006, 02:33 AM
Hell even married people use condoms. Using one doesn't mean anything.

RecoveringKinkoid
09-07-2006, 02:23 PM
People buy condoms for many, many reasons, none of which are this idiots' business. You could be a breastfeeding mom and not wish to pass hormones onto your baby. You could be a married lady on antibiotics (which cause your birth control pills to not work). You could be making raunchy batchelorette party balloons. You could have herpes. You could be unable to take birth control pills for whatever reason. You could be a drug mule (okay, that last was an attempt at a joke, but still.)

I used to sometimes freak people out by offering WAAAY too much info when people would start bugging me about "why dont' I have kids." People do that when you are my age and don't have kids. (I just had one, after a decade of thinking I couldn't, by the way. ) For instance, saying, upon asked this offensive and insensitive question by boorish people, "Well...we've tried for years, and it's just been terrible. We are so heartbroken. I guess something's just wrong with me." I'd say it like I was crushed. I wasn't, we weren't, and this was a load of crap. However, I bet the extremely embarassed victims of my little prank were a little more sesitive next time they went to poke their noses into something that might really cause someone pain.

We had a guy here in town, in a popular local band, who did the same thing to someone who ridiculed his shaved bald head (This guy used to mess with his hair a lot, and sometimes shaved it off so he could start over with it. ). "Well, thanks. Like the cancer, and the chemo, wasn't bad enough. Now I have to put up with assholes harrassing me. Thanks, man." The girl the asshole was with actuall HIT the asshole.

My point is this: embarrass the jerks making the comments so they never, ever forget it. Stop dead, look like you have to compose yourself, face the asshole and say something like "You know, I'm trying to get by and be okay with this the best I can. My husband and I have had so much trouble. It's freaking us out enough that if I get pregnant again I will probably die, and that I cant' take pills because of all the medication I'm on. I just want to have a normal relationship with my husband and be there for my kid as long as possible. Thanks so much for making my life just that much shittier."

Or whatever. Take some creative licence here. It's your chance to have a little fun.

I gar-on-damn-tee they will never say another thing to another person ever again.:devil:

Lace Neil Singer
09-07-2006, 03:13 PM
:lol: *takes notes* In actual fact, I use them cuz it's just less messy, which is good if you're... well, shall we say, doing it outside the bedroom. :devil: I know what you mean as far as embarrassing people goes; I hardly ever smile outside work and I've had people saying "Cheer up!" to me. My immediate reaction is to say, "How can I after my miscarriage?" I may be twisted, but it sure does work. After all, if I went around grinning like an idiot, people would think I was crazy. I just can't win. :lol:

RecoveringKinkoid
09-07-2006, 04:59 PM
: I've had people saying "Cheer up!" to me. My immediate reaction is to say, "How can I after my miscarriage?" I may be twisted, but it sure does work. After all, if I went around grinning like an idiot, people would think I was crazy. I just can't win. :lol:

MAN, I hate it when people do that to me! I've actually been tempted to say somthing like "I was at a funeral an hour ago. Mind your own damn business." Just what I need....some stranger who knows nothing about me, my day, or my life telling me to plaster a pointless grin on my mug to make him happy.

I really am a very happy person. But I don't walk around grinning like a fool all the time, nor do I need attention brought to it. I might be happy, but I am still prickly.

LostMyMind
09-07-2006, 05:11 PM
My family does that to me. What's worst is they know why I'm not "smiling". Some people just don't get a clue, it might work for some folks. But just beware, you might start a 20 question quiz.

Imogene
05-19-2007, 01:26 PM
One says "I found a condom on the veranda!" The other says "What's a veranda?"
I'd be more inclined to reply, "Who's Veranda? And does he know you have his condom?" But I'm not five, though I do act it a lot of the time.

Brynhild
05-19-2007, 02:10 PM
I hardly ever smile outside work and I've had people saying "Cheer up!" to me. My immediate reaction is to say, "How can I after my miscarriage?" I may be twisted, but it sure does work. After all, if I went around grinning like an idiot, people would think I was crazy. I just can't win. :lol:

OMG! :D That's awesome, I SO have to use that next time! *laughs*

Point in case, I *do* sometimes wander around, grinning and staring at people until they freak out and demand to know why I'm staring and grinning at them. It's fun, but only in short doses.

mariamousie1
05-19-2007, 02:57 PM
Wow, that was totally inappropriate. "Get her thrown out of the store" type of inappropriate. In fact, replace inappropriate with unacceptable. I would have complained. :mad: As you can see, I'm angry just reading this.

Misanthropical
05-19-2007, 03:46 PM
As a married woman I have bought condoms, and in our old neighborhood they were behind the counter at the pharmacy, since 98% of the people who lived there would steal anything not nailed down.

I had the pharmacist snicker at me when asking for the non latex condoms, but never had anyone out and out call me a slut.

I think I would have told them that I would let my husband know that there is someone who thinks his wife is a slut, and then ask them to stay put so they could discuss that with him. :devil:

Giggle Goose
05-19-2007, 09:04 PM
Wow, my reaction would've been, "At least I'm getting some." :angel:

Dammit, I wanted to say it!

I used to grab the free ones by the handful at the student health center. *shrug* No one should feel ashamed of protecting themselves.

Irving Patrick Freleigh
05-19-2007, 09:19 PM
I used to grab the free ones by the handful at the student health center. *shrug* No one should feel ashamed of protecting themselves.

*take up position by bin of condoms
glance around furtively....doo doo doo, dum de dooo.....
snatch a handful, jam them in your pocket and dash off

That would be so funny to do. :lol:

Lace Neil Singer
05-19-2007, 10:04 PM
The free ones tho are boring. XD

And :lol: @ Irving. XD

Seshat
05-19-2007, 11:34 PM
People buy condoms for many, many reasons, none of which are this idiots' business. You could be ....
<snip>
You could be a drug mule (okay, that last was an attempt at a joke, but still.)

I used to sometimes freak people out by offering WAAAY too much info when people would start bugging me about "why dont' I have kids."

PCOS is common, as is endometriosis. Either of them are very good reasons for not wanting to use hormonal birth control (having /just/ the right hormones might help the condition, but having enough to prevent pregnancy might screw you over. Or not. See a doctor - preferably an endocrinologist of some sort. Where was I? Oh yes...)

Either of them are very good reasons for not wanting to use hormonal birth control, and also make you subfertile.

Just in case anyone wants ammunition against a person who both complains of you using condoms AND bugs you about why you don't have kids yet. :)

AFpheonix
05-19-2007, 11:56 PM
The free ones tho are boring. XD

And :lol: @ Irving. XD

Gee, our free condoms from PP come in the flavored and colored varieties....

I've had yet to get any with the lil' vibrating rings, though.

Reyneth
05-19-2007, 11:59 PM
PCOS is common, as is endometriosis. Either of them are very good reasons for not wanting to use hormonal birth control (having /just/ the right hormones might help the condition, but having enough to prevent pregnancy might screw you over. Or not. See a doctor - preferably an endocrinologist of some sort. Where was I? Oh yes...)


I've suspected I have PCOS for a while. When I finally had health insurance again, I talked to my girly-doctor, and he said he "treats" it with BCPs. I've read enough to know that they don't actually treat it, just masks some of the symptoms. So - see a GOOD doctor. Not one who thinks it's only worth treating if you're planning on getting pregnant soon.

Worst thing a customer ever said to me was when I was late opening the store one morning (for the first time ever, I think).
"Out late partying, huh?"
I ignored her, but many a time I've thought back and wished I had replied "No, up late crying and missing my dad so much I couldn't sleep at all because it's only been a month since he died, you heartless bitch."
Entirely the truth, too.
What really pissed me off? I'm not the type at all to go out partying or drinking or whatever - so for her to automatically make that assumption just because I looked absolutely exhasted and was in my mid-20s? That was insulting. :wtf:

MystyGlyttyr
05-20-2007, 06:13 AM
If I weren't sure it'd be just my luck that there was an undercover cop nearby, I'd turn to her and say "Lord, no, lady! Sex is disgusting! These are for my cocaine balloons! The ones the clown gives me keep popping before I can even get the horse through customs!"

Or something else equally borderline insane just to scare her into possibly fleeing.

blas
05-20-2007, 07:02 AM
Hahaha Mysty you always know the right thing to say!

I would have just came up with something simple like "Jealous because you can't get anyone?"

Or showed her my ID and said "I'm an adult who will do whatever the fuck I want. Go play in traffic you meddling old witch."

ThePhoneGoddess
05-20-2007, 08:04 AM
Wow, what a witch.

My grandmother is a crafting fiend. She gets into a new craft every once in a while and goes hog wild with it. A few years back someone taught her how to make these adorable little flower pots with fake flowers in them. The flowers were made with rolled up condoms. You aint seen nothing until you've had this experience:

My Uncle and I took her to a big fancy sex shop downtown, so she could get fancy colored ones. My 75 yo grandma is not paying attention to the other people staring at her while my uncle and I are trying very hard not to dissolve into hilarity on the spot. She bends over into this big barrel and is going through them enthusiastically with both hands, saying things like

Oooh! A silver one! And gold ones! I've never seen gold ones before!

Rick, honey, see if you can find any yellow ones, I promised your sister I'd make some yellow ones for her.

TPG, look at this baby blue! Isn't it pretty! Do you think your Mom would like this?

and so on.

The hot gay guy behind the counter is just staring at her in shock, and the other customers have all stopped their shopping, flirting, checking each other out and conversations to stare at her, open mouthed. My uncle and I are leaning on each other for support and trying our damnedest to keep straight faces. She eventually assembled a collection of about 30 of them, all brightly colored, purchased them very cheerfully, and thanked the guy profusely (she's very sweet and polite).

This has got to be my favorite memory of her. And people wonder where I got my eccentricities from!

Anyway, here's a pic of what she was making, so you can see what I'm talking about. look at the pic on the left, top row:

http://www.toxiccustard.com/cards/

April
05-20-2007, 08:41 AM
hey! My mom used to make condom flowers!

She had some displayed and my MIL came over and asked what they were. I still refuse to believe she had no idea what a condom was

Lace Neil Singer
05-20-2007, 01:11 PM
Condom flowers!

:lol:

Brynhild
05-21-2007, 03:45 AM
Oooh! A silver one! And gold ones! I've never seen gold ones before!

Rick, honey, see if you can find any yellow ones, I promised your sister I'd make some yellow ones for her.

TPG, look at this baby blue! Isn't it pretty! Do you think your Mom would like this?

Oh dear goddess... That would've been awesome. I wish my grandmother was like that.

Never heard of condom flowers before... will have to check it out.

Killer Bees
05-21-2007, 04:46 AM
But your boyfriend actually wears the product. Wouldn't that make him the slut and not you? :D

It sounds like a severe case of envy to me. Good on you for speaking up. It certainly isn't any of her business.:wave:

Sliceanddice
05-21-2007, 07:20 AM
This one is so embarrassing for me to say......

After my sister was born it was to dangerous for my mother to have anymore children so my parents did everything possible to not have anymore. My mother even had her tubes tied. My mother also got alot of yeast infections. They used condoms until i was 10 which was when i found their stash.... I knew what they where, and thought that if i hide them they wouldn't um.... well lets jsut say this ended badly for me and has scarred my pysche forever.

Andara Bledin
05-21-2007, 07:04 PM
OT: It was probably the spermicide that was giving her the infections.

I happen to have a mild allergy to nonoxynol-9, which is what they use with condoms. It took me rather a while to figure out what was doing it, since I have never outside of that period of time have ever had any problems.

^-.-^

draftermatt
05-21-2007, 07:19 PM
I had the pharmacist snicker at me when asking for the non latex condoms, but never had anyone out and out call me a slut.


Grr, people still do that huh? There are a grand total of 2 non latex options.

Sorry, but my fatal allergy to latex kind of makes it hard for me to need anything but one of those 2.

Shironu-Akaineko
05-22-2007, 02:32 AM
Actually, some free condoms are very entertaining, and you don't even need a guy.

I went for my tri-monthly prick in the ass (Depo-Provera, people, think clean now!) with my mom because we had a shopping day planned.

So I go there, get my needle, come out and mom notices the basket of free rubbers on the coffee table.

"Oh look Shiro, lollipops! Oh wait, there's no stick...":o

"Right mom, you have to provide the stick, here, lemme grab some for you."

What's really funny here is that I'm the product of mom doing the nasty for the very first time.:D

yay, innocent lil mommy...:lol:

tollbaby
05-22-2007, 06:49 PM
Also, having fun with your boyfriend doesn't make you a slut.

Yeah.... only fooling around with everybody ELSE's boyfriend does that ;)

rerant
05-23-2007, 12:07 AM
Knowing my smartass self, I would have turned and asked, "Got any kids? Yeah? SLUT!"

Noelegy
05-23-2007, 09:27 PM
My grandmother is a crafting fiend. . . . A few years back someone taught her how to make these adorable little flower pots with fake flowers in them. The flowers were made with rolled up condoms.

My late grandmother saved EVERYTHING: rubber bands, scraps of foil, twist ties, etc., and had a place for each of these things. She called rubber bands "rubbers" and it would never fail to crack me and my little brother right up when she'd ask one of us to "reach behind you and get me a rubber out of that drawer." :lol: