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smileyeagle1021
03-30-2009, 11:41 AM
-snip- the Gods themselves

Dear RHPG,
I know it's not what you intended to remind me of, but you just reminded me of a great book you should look into... it's by Isaac Asimove, titled "The Gods Themselves"
It only has three parts, part one "Against stupidity", part two "The Gods Themselves", part three "contend in vain". It's a great parallel to our current dependence on oil, except in the future it's our dependences on a device called the "electron pump" which is supposed to be a Godsend because it produces nearly unlimited power for practically nothing, the downside being that it changes the fundamental properties of matter in the area surrounding it, given enough time it will cause the end of the Earth and no one is willing to give it up because, after all, we're talking about at least a few centuries down the road... we'll surely have come up with a solution by then.

SengaKitty
03-30-2009, 11:59 AM
Dear Smiley,
Hmmm I may have to find that book... Darn you I have a PILE of books to read and no time! What are you doing to me?! Books and movies... Sheesh brother of mine, you're killing me :love:

CaroPhoenix
03-31-2009, 08:49 PM
Dear Child Rum,

Clothing is not optional in the house. Clothing is good. Please put your clothing back on.

Love,
Mommy

SengaKitty
03-31-2009, 08:51 PM
Dear Rummy,

Child Rum will come out of the "clothing optional" stage eventually... Oh wait.. I never did, at least not at home. Ah well maybe she'll learn :D

:hug:
RHPG

Dear Employment Fairies
I need a new job, not more interviews! Please help

Elspeth
03-31-2009, 10:05 PM
Dear Gnome screwing with my life
Would you knock it off? I would like to have a semi normal life. I would like to be able to have fun without having to pay for it at work. Had a great weekend, works sucks. I would like to go to Emerald City Con this weekend. I already know my birthday is going to suck. I hate it when it close to Easter.

Also return the stuff you keep stealing from my house. I want my DSLR back.

You are only doing this because I play the horde side in WoW and take great delight is setting you little bastards on fire.

Els

Dear Mom's Doctors
Again I am asking, FIND WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY MOM AND FIX IT. (sorry for the yelling) Yes I am very glad she doesn't have cancer and her heart looks like a 20 year old heart, but there has to be something causing this. FIX IT.

The driver to the Mommy who you really don't want to see pissed.

Bella_Vixen
04-01-2009, 05:32 AM
Dear MOAO--

That was very sweet of you to say.

:girl puddle:

--YOAO

RootedPhoenix
04-01-2009, 06:59 AM
Dear County Clinic,

Thank you for having the nice people on staff that I saw today.

--me

Dear nice lady who asked me if I was okay,

Thank you for caring. I sincerely hope everything goes well for you.

--the chick who was crying in the bathroom, but felt a lot better because of you.

Dear RHPG,

I hope things do change. I really do. *hugs*

--RP

Dear Zyrtec,

You. are. SO. FIRED! OUT! :mad:

Dear Benadryl,

I suppose I can let you have your old job back. Be good.

--the allergic one

Dear Elspeth,

I hope they figure out what is going on with your mom soon. *offers hugs*

Thinking, wishing, hoping and praying,
RP

Shpepper
04-01-2009, 08:05 AM
Dear Life,

Please stop sucking.

Me

CaroPhoenix
04-01-2009, 01:27 PM
Dear 2 month old glasses,

Why did the nose pads have to fall off you? Now I'm wearing my old glasses and they're making me really headachey. :cry:

I cannot wait for the eye doc's office to open so I can get them fixed.

Rummy

RootedPhoenix
04-02-2009, 02:53 AM
Dear people who mess with my mind,

Quit. Either hate me to my face and get it over with, or like me.
Don't do this thing you do where you dance around it, okay? I'm well aware that it's not proper to hate people, but I'm sick of you dragging this crap out. Tell me how you feel already.

--me

ETA:
Dear SD,

If you pout about how I don't call you, you may want to think about how you don't answer or return any of my calls.

--me

CaroPhoenix
04-02-2009, 10:59 PM
Dear Child Rum,

I love you so much! You make me giggle all the time. Some of the things you can come up with are just ... beyond words.

But, please, if it "quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, and eats like a duck" it's a duck .... How did you come up with it being a fish!? But it did brighten my day.

I love you and your imagination!
Mommy

RootedPhoenix
04-03-2009, 08:59 AM
Dear Posterior Headgear Anonymous,

I'd like you to send some of the people I know information for membership in your fine organization. I'm sure they would benefit.

--RP

Dear body,

You are not giving birth, nor are you in preparation to do so. You're just PMSing. Stop causing me pain like this.

:hairpull:
:burnup: :flame:

--me

smileyeagle1021
04-03-2009, 09:36 AM
Dear Life,

Please stop sucking.

Me

seconded

Dear Karma,
What sin have I committed? Please tell me, what I did and how I can make things right. I know I haven't been the best person, but trapping me in a shitty job, barely making it through school, no end in sight, having not only to deal with there being no hope for the future for myself, but having to see friends and family deal with having almost no hope also. We were all promised a better year this year... now damnit deliver on that fucking promise.

Me

Bella_Vixen
04-04-2009, 05:58 AM
"Dear" (said quite sarcastically) FoH--

Why in hell did you, in effect, cancel my order??

I wanted an *exchange* NOT a refund, just because you are too damn dumb to send me the right size.

This is why you have my email AND phone number! To inform me of things.

You are starting to get on my last nerve, and that is place you do not want to be.

DIAF--

--me

iradney
04-04-2009, 08:39 AM
Dear RHPS

You rocked my socks off! You were awesome! Funny! I have a crush on the whole male cast!

Love
Rads

Dear TTO

So glad you enjoyed it :)
I love you!
Rads

monolayth
04-05-2009, 12:33 AM
dear tailbone,

Please stop hurting. I know i fell on you earlier but this is unfair. You made me go home from work.

Ouch!
mono.

CaroPhoenix
04-05-2009, 02:11 AM
Dear Mono,

I have fallen down the stairs and broken my tailbone. The best thing for you to do is either get a cushion that looks like a donut, or barring that (if you can't find one to buy or you don't want to buy one), then take 2 hard cover books (make sure they're the same height and length) and put them on your chair (not on your car seat 'cos that's too dangerous). I did this - for a year. It was ... "fun".

Understandingly,
Rummy
--------------------------------------------------------
Dear member of the Rum family (including my parents),

:censored: OFF! Right now!

And Child Rum - go to bed! Right now!!!

I'm not feeling too good. I'm yelly and witchy and I don't like the monster I'm turning into right now.

A Sad Penguin,
Rummy

Bella_Vixen
04-05-2009, 05:58 AM
Dear Becks--

What fun shall we plan for next Sunday?

:devil:

--Sunshine

Becks
04-05-2009, 04:36 PM
Dear Lizziebeff,

I'm not sure yet, but I know I want to make meatloaf.

:shrug:

Love,

Becks

monolayth
04-05-2009, 04:56 PM
dear rum,

thanks for the advice. am now going to see if walgreens sells that.

the tinest bit better,
mono

CaroPhoenix
04-05-2009, 11:32 PM
Dear Mono,

I hope Walgreens pans out for you!

Hoping,
Rummy
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Dear" Microwave,

Why did you have to break down!? :cry: I hate appliance shopping. :mad:

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
Rummy
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear (not really) Legs & Back,

Why are you give me shooting pains? Stop that! Right now! I haven't done anything to you!

:cry:
Rummy

Bella_Vixen
04-06-2009, 05:50 AM
Dear Becks--

Meatloaf sounds yummy. Will fried potatoes be included?

--Sunshine

Becks
04-06-2009, 05:51 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,

Only if you help me.

Love,

Becks

Bella_Vixen
04-06-2009, 05:52 AM
Dear Becks--

I'd love to help...as long as it doen't involve actually having to do anything.

:wave:

:lol:

:eek:

--Sunshine

Becks
04-06-2009, 05:54 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,

Remember how T was saying this afternoon that the looks I was giving her were scaring her?

Yeah.

That's how I'm looking at you now.

Love,

Becks

Bella_Vixen
04-06-2009, 05:55 AM
Dear Becks--

:blink:

What would you like me to do?

:blink:

--Sunshine

Becks
04-06-2009, 05:56 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,

First, please don't be afraid.

Second, we'll see how it goes, but helping cut the potatoes would be nice.

Love,

Becky

Bella_Vixen
04-06-2009, 05:57 AM
Dear Graciella--

Cutting potatoes would be OK.

*hugs*

--Sunshine

CaroPhoenix
04-06-2009, 10:31 PM
Dear Brain,

Why did you make me forget the keys in the front door this morning? We had to go back and then Mr. Rum laughed at me. :cry:

Tiredly,
Rummy

Becks
04-07-2009, 03:51 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,

Thank you so much for the earrings!!!!!

You're awesome!!!!!!!!

Love,

Becks

Bella_Vixen
04-07-2009, 04:35 AM
Dear Becks--

I am glad you like them.

You better mean it.

*hugs*

--Sunshine

RootedPhoenix
04-07-2009, 07:03 AM
Dear Brain,

Why did you make me forget the keys in the front door this morning? We had to go back and then Mr. Rum laughed at me. :cry:

Tiredly,
Rummy

Mr. Rum,

:mad: That, sir, was not nice. :( Don't laugh at Rummy.

--RP

Rummy,

*many hugs* I do things like that all the time. One of the reasons I was late to class last week was because I forgot my laptop at home and had to go get it. (Can't take good notes without it.)

Commiseratingly,
RP

Dear hard drives in my possession,

Please keep working. Keepworkingkeepworkingkeepworkingkeepworking. I am going to do backups and reinstalls of the computers, and if you fail during this process, I will be unhappy. Don't do that.

--RP

Dear explosion of "but you don't NEED that do you?!",

Please don't happen when I tell people I'm getting another hard drive for backups. No one ever believes the techie-type....until the hard drive dies. You can't back up stuff off of a dead drive! Or at least I can't....

$100=peace of mind. I can live with that. Even if it means eating ramen and peanut butter sandwiches.

Also please do not be happening when I say the same about shelving units. Not everything can sit on the floor, now can it?

--RP

Shangri-laschild
04-07-2009, 07:31 AM
Dear K,

You make me feel like shit sometimes.



Dear DF,

Before I was just sort of baffled as to what was going on. That was kind of sudden and out of no where. I think I'm more skeptical than anything else. And given who you're friends with, I'm thinking you were just being a dick.

Becks
04-07-2009, 03:22 PM
Dear Lizziebeff,

Of course I mean it.

:D

Love,

Becks

monolayth
04-07-2009, 03:55 PM
Dear CS,

Today is the day! I go in for the ultrasound today. Am looking forward tot his and hoping for a girl.

will write the news tonight!

mono

SengaKitty
04-07-2009, 03:59 PM
Dear Mono,

Not just news! Want PICTURES! And crossing my fingers for you that it's a girl, and a healthy baby at that!

RHPG

monolayth
04-07-2009, 07:07 PM
dear cs.

its a boy. :cry:

mono

Bella_Vixen
04-08-2009, 12:33 AM
Dear Mono--

Just think of all the guys on CS you can name it after. :devil:



On the other hand, when Mom was pregnant with Becks and me, everything said Becks was gonna be a boy. Ultrasound, and some other tests. Tests that are *NEVER* wrong.

They were wrong.

Trying to be helpful--

--Bella

monolayth
04-08-2009, 02:24 AM
dear bella,

Thanks hon.

am more a :( than a :cry::cry::cry: right now

mono

Bella_Vixen
04-08-2009, 03:09 AM
Dear Mono--

*hugs*

--Bella

Becks
04-08-2009, 04:52 PM
Dear Mono,

*hugs*

Love,

Becky

artifical sweetner
04-08-2009, 07:45 PM
Dear Birds in my Backyard,

I understand that spring is here and all, but do all 500 of you have to start chriping and singing at 5 am? I mean, I already get up at 6:30 and losing that extra hour and a half of sleep is quite irritating. I know my dad has set out many houses, feed and baths for you but unforturantely unlike him, I am a light sleeper. Please, please....be quiet until afternoon....(so my weekends i can sleep in) :)

- sweetner

Bardmaiden
04-09-2009, 12:05 AM
Dear Day

You started out sucky, phone calls at 6.30am with bad news for the b/f aren't fun but then why did my cyst have to join in with pain and stuff, later I had to go to the hospital!

Only perk was I got codeine to take...

Yours with no thanks

Bardie

CaroPhoenix
04-09-2009, 02:27 AM
Dear Alison Sweeney (http://www.soapscafe.com/images/alison_sweeney_sami.jpg),

Why do you have to be so drop dead gorgeous! I want to look like you.

I might have to get on the next Season "Biggest Loser". :lol:

Your Fan (though not in a stalker way),
Rummy

the_std
04-09-2009, 03:22 PM
Dear Holier Than Thou, Elitist, Stuck Up, Pompous Dickheads,

SHUT UP!

That is all,
Me

CaroPhoenix
04-09-2009, 04:07 PM
Dear the_std,

*kerblink*

Please accept my offer of chocolate and lots of it.

Hiding now from your anger,
Rummy

Bella_Vixen
04-09-2009, 07:27 PM
Dear MOAO--

You are so sweet.

That made me cry.

Now I have to try to get some pictures taken in which I look good.

With all my love--

--YOAO

Elspeth
04-09-2009, 08:05 PM
Dear bestest hubby in the world

Thank you so much for making me feel better. And thank you for my early birthday present! *snuggles her new matte black DSi* Now if I didn't have the work the rest of the afternoon

Love the geeky wife that doesn't want jewelry

the_std
04-09-2009, 08:10 PM
Dear IDaR,

Did you actually send me chocolate? Cause I got a mysterious package of Easter chocolate in the mail today, and no one I've talked to knows who did it.

I'm a little freaked out, but it is damn good chocolate!

Creepily munching,
Me

CaroPhoenix
04-09-2009, 08:13 PM
Dear the_std,

No, I'm sorry, I didn't actually send you the chocolate.

However, I'm happy that you're enjoying it.

Now I wish someone sent me some chocolate!

Jealous (:p)
Rummy

RootedPhoenix
04-09-2009, 08:29 PM
Dear CSers,

*hands out chocolate and herb tea* :D
And if you can't have chocolate, *hands you a donut*.

--RP

CaroPhoenix
04-10-2009, 10:02 AM
Dear Child Rum,

Why did you think 4:20 was a good time to get up? I'm exhausted and tonight's a gaming night. :cry:

:yawn:
Mommy
---------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Rum,

Why do you think it's a good idea to let your alarm clock go off at 4:30, 5:00, and 5:30 AM? Especially when you knew I was trying to get Child Rum back to sleep?

AARRGGHH!!!!
Mrs. Rum
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear RP,

Thank you for the chocolate and herbal tea. :D

Sincerely,
Rummy

RootedPhoenix
04-10-2009, 02:45 PM
"Dear" annoying people,

(another mashup of different things to different people)

:mad::rant::flame::hairpull:

It is now 2009, not some other mystical moment in time. OPEN YOUR EYES.

I am 28, not five. Check a calendar. Do some math. Leave me alone.

You annoy me. Your drama needs to go fall off a cliff.

I'm so glad you know what I need to do with my money. I'm so glad you know how one goes about getting a job in my field. I'm so glad you know what I equipment I need, and how much my schooling should cost.
As it turns out, you have no clue. Kindly shut up.

Technology advances. Business models have to change with the times. Stop whining.

--RP

the_std
04-10-2009, 03:23 PM
Dear Stupid City That I Live In,

Okay, I can understand businesses and such being closed today, it is Good Friday... But why are you not running the buses at all? A crippled schedule would be better than NOTHING! Some of us secular people have places to go and shit to do!

You've completely screwed me over, and I am steamed as hell.

Ready to explode with profanity,
Me

monolayth
04-10-2009, 04:27 PM
Dear father,

You wonder why I get mad at you. Why I say you don't care about my brother and I. Why we feel that you care more for your step children than for us. Well this might be the fact that I called you to tell you I am having a boy since tuesday and have not gotten an answer an e-mail or any other form of communication.

I know you have to know by now. My older step sister has sent me an email congratulating me. She and her three children live with you.

I'm done trying. Oh and I'm naming him after my step father.

:p
Mono.

RootedPhoenix
04-10-2009, 06:41 PM
Dear Rummy,

You're welcome. :D

--RP

Dear brother of mine,

I am going to see if I can't make your guitar work. If I make it work, and you smash it because it does not instantly bend to your whims, I may wish to smash you. I won't, though.

Don't smash the guitar. OK?

--Your sister.

Ghel
04-10-2009, 07:20 PM
Dear Cleaning Lady,

No, I'm not going to put my used kleenex in the little paper bag you taped to the side of my garbage can. Put a friggen garbage bag in the garbage can already. I don't appreciate that you leave me annoying little notes whenever I put a bag in my garbage can myself. I know that you think you should go through the garbage and save any paper that might be useful helping us balance if we're off. But anything that might actually help has to get shredded at the end of the day, so it won't be in the garbage can anyway. Anything that I put in the garbage is GARBAGE. Just throw it out!

--Ghel

CaroPhoenix
04-10-2009, 08:21 PM
Dear Self,

Why are you not feeling better?

You took a 2 1/2 hour nap with Pocahontas (aka Child Rum :D) and then you went grocery shopping & had MickeyD's for a late lunch.

Why am I dizzy and not steady?

:cry:
Rummy

Becks
04-11-2009, 12:30 AM
Dear body,

What the hell are you suddenly allergic to?

What's with the rash? I cry everytime I look down at myself or glance at a mirror.

And for the love of...whatever...STOP ITCHING. I can't stand it anymore!!!!!!

Waiting for the steroids to kick in,

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear place of employment,

Yes, I realize today wasn't a good day to call out. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to.

HOWEVER, see what I wrote above. When I called out this morning, I didn't know WHAT was causing the rash.

Now I know.

And I have drugs to help take care of it...hopefully.

I grossed out myself, my mommy, my twin sister, my fiance AND the doctor. Plus other people, too.

Did you really want me to go to work, looking nice and splotchy, scratching myself for 55 seconds out of every minute? Wait, you probably did.

Never fear, though. I'll be in tomorrow. Hopefully looking a bit better, but still blotchy enough to prove I called in for a reason.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,

me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear me,

Stop scratching.

--me

SengaKitty
04-11-2009, 01:40 AM
Dear Maneshewitz wine,

Holy FUCK. I can drink a full bottle (bigger) of semi-dry emerald riesling and not get as fucked up as I am right now, and I only drank 3/4ths of your bottle! Whisky Tango Foxtrot?!

Tipsily yours
RHPG


Dear Passover Seder
You were very yummy, and i'm going to be using that matza in my eggs tomorrow :D :D :D

Bella_Vixen
04-11-2009, 03:37 AM
Dear Becks--

*careful hugs*

You didn't gross me out. I was too worried to be grossed out.

STOP SCRATCHING!

--Sunshine


************************************************** ***

Dear body--

Quit with the damn sympathy itching already.

:rant:
:cry:

--Me

Becks
04-11-2009, 03:40 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,

I'm trying not to scratch. It's hard.

*sniffle*

Love,

Becks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mommy,

I'm glad I got checked out.

When I first called you this morning, you mentioned measles.

When I stopped by to use the computer, you said scarlet fever.

I just *know* that if I had to go to the ER, you would've mentioned the black plague.

I love you, Mommy!!!!!!

Love,

your youngest

Bella_Vixen
04-11-2009, 03:49 AM
Dear Becks--

Mom says she was trying to scare Mike into not dicking around and actually take you somewhere.

She feels awful about scaring you.

:cry:

--Sunshine

Becks
04-11-2009, 02:49 PM
Dear Lizziebeff,

I'll tell Mommy she didn't scare me.

I was amused.

Nevermind the fact that if I had mentioned any of those, she'd roll her eyes at me.

Giggling,

Becks

Bardmaiden
04-11-2009, 08:10 PM
Dear Day

You started out sucky, phone calls at 6.30am with bad news for the b/f aren't fun but then why did my cyst have to join in with pain and stuff, later I had to go to the hospital!

Only perk was I got codeine to take...

Yours with no thanks

Bardie

Dear life

While that day was an unusual and slightly annoy diversion did you have to worry the specialist so much the next day I spent until today in hospital, sick as anything for a while then bored out of my mind the rest. Never mind the fact they didn't work out what was causing it!

At least I got out in time for meeting our friend who is staying with us for a few day *phew*

Again with no thanks

Bardie

smileyeagle1021
04-12-2009, 02:01 PM
Dear friend I haven't seen in like 3 years,
Please don't hate me. I know I'm not what you thought I was, I know I've done terrible things (namely lying on an entrance interview to the church), I know that you have every right to feel betrayed... but I'm still the same person, just now a more honest one... please see that on tuesday when I come out to you, oh God, please I don't think I can afford to lose any more friends over this.

Sincerely,
one very desperate Smiley

crazylegs
04-12-2009, 06:44 PM
Not so dear Dr.

Get your arse to 'T's mothers house. A six hour wait for morphine is unacceptable. Move, and MOVE FASTER! :pissed:

Crazylegs

RootedPhoenix
04-13-2009, 03:34 PM
Dear songs,

If you must be in my head, could you possibly not be in my head all at once? Thanks. :lol::cry:

--RP

monolayth
04-13-2009, 09:58 PM
Dear mom,

I adore you. I love that you and charles are so excited for the baby. It was awesome to give me a credit card with 300 dollars onit to buy for the baby. I got the stroller car seat combo i thought i would never get.

:D:D:D:D:D

Love your daughter.

SengaKitty
04-14-2009, 02:25 PM
Dear person who's supposed to be giving me a ride today,

Where are you? Didn't you say 10? Why is it 10:30 and you're not here??? Please be giving me a ride today, I don't want to have to deal with busses in this rain...

the_std
04-16-2009, 11:02 PM
Dear Landlords' Baby,

I hope you get better soon. I know you had jaundice and some other minor, but majorly uncomfortable, health problems and that you are only now coming home from the hospital, two weeks after being born, so I wish you a speedy recovery..

As I can hear you wailing all hours of the day through my ceiling.

Sympathetic but tired,
Me

Evil Queen
04-17-2009, 04:26 AM
Dear Thread,

What a day it's been.
It's been just like a strange dream.
I woke up at 8; and was so far behind.
It isn't like me, what's happening to me? So nervous, and worried, and excited.

*sighs*

I'm moving away from the hell that is Houston. I hate it so much. The only good things that have ever come out of it was meeting my closest friends here; my two officer buddies and my dearest (and first female!) friend Lupo. I'm going to miss her the most, I think.
There's a lot that I'm not going to miss; the drivers, the pollution, the stupid idiots that I had to wait on to show up for work, the lack of proper mayo (grrr, why must EVERYONE put sugar in it?!). It's been a little while since I made a long distance trip like this. I have 928 miles to drive on Sunday. I have most of my stuff packed, but the last of it seems so difficult... I have to pack my kitchen gear but I keep using the stuff! :cry:
And I don't want to leave my boyfriend behind! Our relationship has done so well in the last couple months, I want the good stuff to continue! But he won't be able to go back out until I get a house (to rent) first. He also needs some minor surgery done which can only be done in Houston, not the small town we'll be going to. I'm going to miss him the most... But it's only for a month... right?

....right? Guys?

Falling apart at the seams with no one to catch me,
-The Evil Queen

iradney
04-17-2009, 05:07 AM
*catches EQ*

Fear not, dear lady :)
Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, you and Lupo will still be able to "hang out", and the SO will be counting the seconds until he can see you again.
Things will be great for you!

Rads

Shpepper
04-17-2009, 06:17 AM
Dear stupid furnace in my wall,

Please come out tomorrow when I take the hacksaw to your exhaust pipe. I really need you gone so I can fix the water leak. I hate not having water all the time.

Me

CaroPhoenix
04-17-2009, 11:05 AM
Dear Coffee,

Please work your magic on me.

*yawning*
Rummy
--------------------------------------------------
Dear Child Rum,

Please eat your breakfast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Lovingly,
Mommy
---------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Rum,

Thank you for declaring the new recipe I made last night "looked weird". If it was so "weird looking", why did you have 3 helpings?

:confused:
Mrs. Rum

Shangri-laschild
04-17-2009, 01:15 PM
Dear spare bed,

You suck. Now, I admit, part of the weirdness is my fault. I can't stand sleeping with my head towards the door. I can only sleep facing the wall is someone else is there or I'm at home for the most part. It's partly a stratigic sort of thing but it's partly because I'm easily spooked. You're set up horribly though! I can't sleep on you how I like unless I sleep on my left side. And I just got that ear pierced so it's hard to sleep on that side. Sleeping on my back on that bed has never been very comfortable. I'm sorry, but I'm leaving you for the futon.


Dear J's house,

Stop making creepy noises at night. Really. Why the water heater has to sound like someone walking down the hall slowly I don't know.


Dear ADD meds,

Please please work. Not having any help all this time has been wearing me out and making me very frustrated with myself. I'm still working hard to accept that some things come from the ADD and I just can't "get better" by working to fix them no matter how hard I try. It doesn't mean I won't stop trying but it does mean that I'm really hoping you help. I've put a lot of hope and wishes into this.

CaroPhoenix
04-18-2009, 01:52 AM
"Dear" Mr. Rum,

1. Your "sense of humor" needs to change.

2. Do not ever in a million kabillion hatrillion years ever buy fat free cheese again! I told you it was disgusting, but you didn't believe me until I used in my recipe last night.

3. Do not ever criticize my cooking again, or you'll be fending for yourself from now on.

4. I cannot think of any more warnings, but I'm sure there are others added to the list.

Right now, I'm mad and I don't want to look at you,
Mrs. Rum

BookstoreEscapee
04-18-2009, 02:58 AM
Dear Stripes,

Please come home by morning. Your sister is worried about you and will be lonely if you don't come home. :(

And when you do come home, DON'T EVER GO OUTSIDE BY YOURSELF AGAIN!!! You are an indoor kitty and outside is not the place for you. The screenhouse will go up again soon and you can go out there for fresh air when it does.

-me

RootedPhoenix
04-18-2009, 04:27 PM
Mr. Rum,

Grrr.

--RP

Rummy,

*hugs*

--RP

BookstoreEscapee
04-18-2009, 05:38 PM
Dear Stripes,

I hope you had fun with your new little friend last night. You won't be seeing him again, unless it's through the window. Get used to it.

Yes, I'm a mean "mommy"; too bad.

-me

RootedPhoenix
04-18-2009, 05:54 PM
Dear people on the roads yesterday,

Didn't you know I wanted to get home? :cry:
Don't be there next time.

--RP

Dear annoying person X,

AAAAUGHHHH.

--RP

Lace Neil Singer
04-18-2009, 06:20 PM
Dear idiots,

It seems you have forgotten what you learned as children. Remember all that stop, look, listen stuff that your mummy drummed into you? Obviously not, seeing as you decided to cross a road today without doing any of those. I suggest you book yourselves a refresher course of the Green Cross Code at your local primary school with all the tiny tots. Just don't get pissy when they pass it before you, being of superior intellect.

Yours sincerely,

Lace

Becks
04-18-2009, 06:45 PM
Dear world,

I don't like you right now.

I don't even want to have to think about being around anyone, even the people I love. Work should be fun.

Wanting to run away for a while,

--me

Bella_Vixen
04-18-2009, 07:05 PM
Dear Becks--

I've deeply concerned.

:cry:

--Sunshine

BookstoreEscapee
04-18-2009, 07:31 PM
Dear people on the roads yesterday,

Didn't you know I wanted to get home? :cry:
Don't be there next time.

--RP

Dear annoying person X,

AAAAUGHHHH.

--RP

You mean it wasn't just New Jersey? I thought there must have been an accident, or road work, judging by how far backed up the traffic was. But, nope...nothing...grr. (And I don't even take any major commuter highways.)



Dear Becks,

Since you don't want people around, I'm sending a long distance hug from New Jersey. :hug:

-be

crazylegs
04-18-2009, 09:14 PM
Dear T,

This horrible situation will soon be over, then you can start to heal. You know how to get hold of me.

Lots of love

Crazylegs

Evil Queen
04-18-2009, 09:55 PM
Dear Teresa (my car),

Be a good girl because tomorrow we're going to go on a nice long drive! Wouldn't you like that? Yes you would! Nice and long with the windows rolled down and some nice techno blasting. Wouldn't you like that? See? You're already getting lots of nice pampering; you got your oil changed, your fluids topped off, gas treatment put in the tank, a nice rinse from the rain, cleaned out and freshened with Fabreze.
We're going out to the desert! You've never been to the desert, aren't you excited! I can tell you are. Particularly since I just cleaned your headlights and you have the prettiest eyes because of it. :) You're such a good car, yes you are!

Trying not to over-do the love for her car,
-The Evil Queen

CaroPhoenix
04-18-2009, 11:33 PM
Dear RP,

Thank you for the support.

Mr. Rum thought it was funny that I cried on the phone to my mom after he called me up and told me that the egg casserole I had made last night was absolutely disgusting when eaten cold and that I had to throw the rest of it out because he was never going to eat it again.

I heated the rest of it up this morning, and he had to concede that it tasted good when it was heated up.

*le sigh*
Rummy

SengaKitty
04-19-2009, 03:38 PM
Dear Rummy,
Mr. Rum is an idiot. You are awesome. <3
RHPG


Dear Sir
Please don't go. I know you think it's the best thing, but I think you're making a huge mistake. There are opportunities here for you! You're almost done with your 3 years at the (Restuarant), like you said you wanted to do! After that you can get a job anywhere, right? Just a few more months and you'll be able to go anywhere and get higher pay.
Plus, your little faerie will be so sad without you. :cry: Please don't leave me here alone!

Yours sadly
faerie

CaroPhoenix
04-19-2009, 07:36 PM
Dear RHPG,

Thank you for the sentiment. :D

He was okay today. He let me rest some and took Child Rum for an outing.

<3
Rummy
----------------------------------------
Dear I-cy (little penguin that dances to music from your I-pod or MP3 player),

I don't have you hooked up to anything. Why are you dancing and making noises!? I like you (i just adore penguins), but you're driving me insane!

Waiting for the straitjacket,
Rummy
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Body,

If you want to start acting normally, can't you give me more warning? And why do you have to drain my body?

Tiredly and achingly and confusedly,
Rummy

Becks
04-19-2009, 09:24 PM
Dear Lizziebeff,

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to make you concerned.

Thanks (AGAIN) for letting us use your car.

Love,

Becks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear BE,

Thanks for the hugs. :D

Love,

Becks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear world,

I like you a bit more than yesterday.

--me

KiaKat
04-19-2009, 09:38 PM
To the idiot neighbour who hit my car last night IN THE DRIVEWAY,

FOAD. Seriously. I'm not kidding.

--Owner of the silver Honda who did NOT find a note regarding the accident

*-*-*-*

Dear Police,

Next time, when I call you regarding the idiot neighbours who ALWAYS block the driveway and cause problems, SHOW UP SO YOU CAN SEE IT HAPPENING!

--Taxpayer

*-*-*-*

Dear head,

please please please please stop hurting.

--The one who took Aleve and is waiting for it to kick in....an hour later...

*-*-*-*

Dear Other Half

Thank you for the ice cream. It will go very well with the bottle of wine I plan on finishing tonight.

--Love, your Kat

*-*-*-*

Dear kitties,

Thank you for being snuggly and sweet. And chirpy.

--Love, mommy.

*-*-*-*

Dear mommy,

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA why couldn't you have planned to stop here on your road trip down to DC? If you had, you would have been here last night when my poor baby got hit!

--*sniff* your Eldest Daughter

*-*-*-*

Dear Cherry Garcia,

I plan on devouring you. Be prepared.

--The emotional and hormonal one

*-*-*-*

Dear Karma,

DIAF.

--The one with bad luck lately

crazylegs
04-19-2009, 09:43 PM
Dear T

It's over, the worst has gone. There is no more suffering or pain. You're right, there will be ups and downs and I think they will be collosal in size, but it will get better; I promise.

You have my number, ring it if you want to whatever time it is.

Crazylegs

Bella_Vixen
04-20-2009, 08:14 AM
Dear Becks--

You are welcome.

I want a frozen hot choclate.

*batting eyelashes*

--Sunshine

Becks
04-20-2009, 04:47 PM
Dear Lizziebeff,

Next mutual day off.

I promise.

Love,

Becks

Bella_Vixen
04-20-2009, 04:54 PM
Dear Becks--

OK.

Do yall need to borrow my car today?

--Sunshine

Becks
04-20-2009, 04:56 PM
Dear Lizziebeff,

I...don't know yet.

Mike's asleep.

He'll probably take me to work, at least, so if you want to be waiting at about 10 minutes to 3 to harass HIM, I won't stop you.

Love,

Becks

Bella_Vixen
04-20-2009, 04:56 PM
Dear Becks--

Ugh.

I'll try to remember.

--Sunshine

Becks
04-20-2009, 04:58 PM
Dear Lizziebeff,

No biggie, I'm sure.

Love,

Becks

Bella_Vixen
04-20-2009, 04:59 PM
Dear Becks--

I'm going with the theory that if my car is needed, he'll have you call me before you get here.

:wave:

(I can dream, can't I?)

--Sunshine

Becks
04-20-2009, 05:01 PM
Dear Lizziebeff,

Of course you can dream.

You know very well that I'll be the one calling you, if needed.

Blah to him.

Love,

your favoritest younger sister

Bella_Vixen
04-20-2009, 10:28 PM
Dear Becks--

It was fun driving you to work. We should do it again sometime.

--Sunshine

RootedPhoenix
04-21-2009, 06:39 AM
Dear certain face-to-face world friends of mine,

Please decide what it is that you want from me. You ask me to read your mind without letting me know how ESP works. :salmon: DON'T DO THAT. Either accept that you have to communicate with me to let me know what I am doing that bugs you so much, or accept that I am going to ignore you. I am not going to play games with you just to see how much you can hurt me.

AARGH.

--RP

Dear iTunes,

Your Genius service keeps dying in the middle of looking at my library. You may wish to fix that. I'll be waiting. Impatiently.

Also, poke a few folks I have in mind. There's music I'm dying to see on the iTunes store. Guess I better get requesting, eh?

--RP

CaroPhoenix
04-21-2009, 09:33 PM
Dear Child Rum,

Thank you so much for the Dandelions! They are the most beautiful weeds ... er, flowers, I've ever seen! :roll:

Love you,
Mummy Rummy
---------------------------------------------
Dear Child Rum's School,

Thank you for hosting "Muffins with Moms" this morning. It was fun having breakfast with my daughter in the cafeteria and I also got to walk her to her classroom!

Sincerely,
Mrs. Rum

the_std
04-22-2009, 04:35 AM
Dear Life,

I wish I could find the sparkle in you. Everything seems lacklustre and pointless. It's not that it's bad, but I don't find it interesting.

I would like the motivation to do more than just watch TV all the time.

Feeling completely stuck,
Me

RootedPhoenix
04-22-2009, 05:11 AM
Dear iTunes,

Aaaargh.

--RP

Dear homework,

Please create yourself and put the results on my computer and inside my brain. Thanks.

--RP

CaroPhoenix
04-23-2009, 10:54 AM
Dear Mr. Rum,

If you're going down to the laundry room area and you see a pile of clothing on the floor next to the door going to the basement where said laundry room is, why did you not just take down the pile yourself? I threw them down the stair and sure, it wasn't especially an attractive pile, at least it got them down the stairs.

:confused: about how you can't do anything even though you'll be 37 in May,
Mrs. Rum

SengaKitty
04-23-2009, 12:14 PM
Dear Rummy,
Men, huh? That's like having the trash ready for Sir to take out (when he was here) and he'd just walk right past it -shakes head and offers chocolate and coffee-


Dear CSers,
The interview with Charter is today. If I get it, I'll start work May 4th. Wish me luck, it's a really good job!
Nervously
RHPG

KiaKat
04-23-2009, 02:58 PM
Dear coffee,

You are delicious.

Love, Me

Elspeth
04-23-2009, 04:02 PM
Dear RHPG
Sending many good thoughts and vibes your way!! GOOD LUCK!!!

Dear Life
DIAF! I am glad Mommy doesn't have too much wrong with her. At least they bloody found something wrong. But can we just improve a little please? I am sick to death of wanting to cry all the time. This isn't fun and I believe it is scaring the geek.


Dear Pollen
You can just go to the ninth circle of hell. I know you make pretty flowers and food and keep the area nice and green but I HATE YOU.

Dear coworks
How do you people make it through a day without hurting yourselves? I have never met a more self centered stupid bunch of people in my life. I would love to hurt you all with the "Stick" and to the one coworker that can't seem to produce any business, I will hurt you a lot if you fuck up this company.

The person who just wants a nap

CaroPhoenix
04-23-2009, 04:42 PM
Dear RHPG,

Good Luck! Knock them dead!

Hoping,
Rummy
------------------------------------------------
Dear KiaKat,

You are a person after my own heart. :D

I love me coffee too!

Rummy

artifical sweetner
04-23-2009, 05:19 PM
dear stinky coworker,

im sorry you are horribly addicted to the nastiest smelling cigarettes i have ever wiffed but could you please get a grip on your smokers cough? all day long for 5 months straight you have drove me and fellow coworkers INSANE. its loud and constant and gross.

f*** u,
sweetner

SengaKitty
04-23-2009, 09:57 PM
Dear CSers,
Thanks for your prayers they worked! The guy offered me the job on the spot! Did the drug test and set my schedule and everything :) This makes me very happy. This made me so happy, in fact, I almost cried. He was like "I think you'd be a great fit. I'd love to offer you the position of broadband specialist", and I said "And I would absolutely love to accept it :D" So I did! -squeals happily and sips coffee with the rest of her coffee theology followers-

RHPG

Bella_Vixen
04-23-2009, 10:01 PM
Dear RHPG--

Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!

*happy dance*

--Bella

the_std
04-23-2009, 11:29 PM
Dear Fuckhead/Boything,

A full immobilizer for your entire left arm for six weeks, plus myriad MRIs and EKGs and blood tests and drug trials and all that fun stuff, plus the possibility of major surgery including bone grafts, pins and plates?

I love you. I love you with all of my tiny little heart. But you're such a fucking idiot. This is what the doctors gave you medication for. This is why you are supposed to take the medication.

I will come out and take care of you if I need to, because you need it and it's not fair to your darling brother to have to do it, but you're breaking my heart. Every time this happens, every time you throw away your health... A little piece of me dies.

Judging by how I feel today, most of me died last night when this all started again.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I will not do it to take care of you. I will do it for you to be my willing partner, my lover, my friend and my equal.

Get your shit together before I have to come play nurse.

Hating this whole damn world,
Me

RootedPhoenix
04-24-2009, 01:42 AM
Dear the-std,

*offers hugs, comfort, and herb tea* :(

--RP

SengaKitty
04-24-2009, 02:04 AM
Dear the_std,

-offers hugs- Men... I'm tellin ya....


Dear Sir,
Get your shit straight. If you tell me you're going to call me in five minutes, I should not have to wait an hour and a half for your call. This is bullshit. And why are you not answering your phone? Don't fucking give me the excuse of you were cleaning again. We had this discussion last night. And you better NOT have lost your damn phone, lest I have to find a way to Maryland and kick your ass.

FREAKING CALL ME ALREADY.... i miss you

Your Faerie

Shpepper
04-24-2009, 05:18 AM
Dear Ex New Hire,

The next time you accept one job and then decide to take another one instead, call more than 1 1/2 hours before you are supposed to show up for your first shift of training. I worked too hard to get everything together for you. At least now it is ready if I can convince the boss that we need to hire one or two more people.


Irately,

Me

monolayth
04-24-2009, 05:52 AM
Dear fried rice and Hot dogs,

Im surprised you do go well together.


The one with the pregnancy cravings,



Dear co workers,

Dont go ew. it was yummy!

:wave:

CaroPhoenix
04-25-2009, 02:11 AM
Dear Child Rum,

No more eating Dandelions! I don't think they're that good for you!

<3,
Mummy Rummy
---------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Rum,

You better be incredibly nice to me for at least this weekend! How many wives do we know make dinner for their husband's D&D group? Hmmm .... ? That's right! No other wives we know of!

So no being mean to me when I can't clean up the bedrooms as quickly as you'd like.

Grrrr,
Mrs. Rum

the_std
04-25-2009, 04:36 AM
Dear Life,

I quit.

Consider this my formal resignation.

Me

KiaKat
04-25-2009, 09:39 AM
Dear Rummy,

Actually dandelions are perfectly fine. I use them in salads often. As long as they're not all seed-covered, that is...

Love, KiaKat (Know-it-all-Kat)

Evil Neighbours Of Doom,

Don't piss me off. Seriously. And you had better be willing to pay for my car. Because I am NOT above taking you to court. And I have video evidence.

So DIAF.

--The Nasty Bitch Neighbour.

SengaKitty
04-25-2009, 04:55 PM
Dear CS,

What is the best way of planning a wedding you don't have an exact date for, where there are going to be about 150 people, in approximately 6 months? 0.o

A very frazzled Bride-to-be

crazylegs
04-25-2009, 09:18 PM
Dear S,

Quite frankly you're screwing with my head.

Cease & Desist.

Crazylegs

Elspeth
04-25-2009, 09:29 PM
Dear CS,

What is the best way of planning a wedding you don't have an exact date for, where there are going to be about 150 people, in approximately 6 months? 0.o

A very frazzled Bride-to-be

Vegas? Something at someone's house. And possibly a potluck

Good Luck

Bella_Vixen
04-26-2009, 05:59 AM
Dear life--

I am very upset at you right now.

--me

*************************************

Dear Tequila Rose--

I've missed your yumminess.

Feel free to bring me some oblivion.

--Me

Becks
04-26-2009, 05:02 PM
Dear Lizziebeff,

:comforting pats: there, there™®

Love,

Becks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear arm,

Why does one of my bones ache?

Knock it off. I have to work tonight.

Grrrrrrrrrr,

--me

Bella_Vixen
04-26-2009, 05:53 PM
Dear Becks--

Thanks kindly.

*hugs*

--Sunshine

***************************************

Dear Becks' arm--

Stop hurting.

*shaking fist*


CaroPhoenix
04-26-2009, 11:43 PM
Dear Child Rum,

Not being able to watch Noggin all day is not the end of the world. You damaged Mommy's sleep mask, and therefore you had to be punished. This was the best one. Now, please, listen to music and play the kabilliontrillionzillion toys you have in practically every room of the house!

:mad:
Mommy

Bella_Vixen
04-27-2009, 08:06 PM
Dear MOAO®--

You have got to be the best looking grandfather I know...for your young age.

:lol:

--YOAO

CaroPhoenix
04-28-2009, 09:23 PM
Dear Dining Room Table,

How can you get messy again in less that 48 hours!? How!? We cleaned you and now it looks like we haven't cleaned you in a month! :cry:

Not liking my table,
Rummy
-------------------------------------------
Dear Self,

Why are you so mad about Mr. Rum wanting to get gastric bypass surgery? Why does it leave you so mad and cold and sad inside?

:confused:
Self

Becks
04-28-2009, 10:06 PM
Dear Hetfield,

Please don't lick your naughty bits. You just got neutered, I know, and you want to, but you can't.

You look adorably hilarious with your foldable head cone, though.

Pityingly,

your Mommy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Y,

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Not in the mood for your bs,

--Minik kedi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Nella,

Stop taunting your brother, Hetfield.

It's not nice.

Love,

your Mommy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear MOTH™,

I wonder if you had me take Hetfield in to the vet's myself so he'd feel safer with you, especially after you decided to go in with me to pick him up.

Mildly suspicious,

me

CaroPhoenix
04-30-2009, 10:44 PM
Dear Veins,

Why did you have to hide from the phlembotimists 2 times in 2 days??? Now I've been poked and prodded and am hurty in both of my arms. And for nothing. No blood came out of any of the "veins" they tried to use. :cry: I'm going to have to go to Qwest or LabCorp. *le sigh* I hate getting poked and prodded with needles.

A frustrated, grumpy, and hurty,
Rummy
----------------------------------------------------
Dear Insurance Provider,

It would be so much easier if you would just list Speech Therapist, Developmental Pediatricians, and Occupational Therapists it would make my entire life easier.

*le sigh*
Rummy

Dreamstalker
04-30-2009, 11:26 PM
Dear Becks:

The dog I sat for last week now has one of those soft headcones...she looks pitiful and hilarious at the same time. At least it's not the rigid plastic cones they used back when we had to get McGriff neutered.

Dear Suki's Owner:

Of course you can recommend me to friends who have pets. Please do!

Dear Employment Counselor:

It is possible to work part-time and attend schooling part-time. I did it before, please don't tell me it's not possible until you hear me out. Said schooling IS relevant to my job seeking, and it's not really the change of plan that you think it is.

I don't think my resume needs to be quite as detailed as you have it (re: job descriptions). As you have it now, it's onto a second page and I don't know if that's necessary or even desired.

Dear Store That Just Called Me:

Please, please, please let me meet your current hiring needs. I live close by, have a flexible schedule and I'm eager to work there.

crazylegs
05-02-2009, 10:41 AM
Dear M,

If I had the power to do so I would sentence you to the most unimaginable painful cystitis for the rest of your life. What you have done to T, yesterday of all days, was unforgivable, selfish, immoral, self centred, hurtful thing you could do. You turned a day that should have been about T (and her Ma) into a day about you, and for that I will more than likely never forgive you.

Go piss napalm.

Crazylegs

iradney
05-02-2009, 10:51 AM
Dear M

I will happily endorse whatever CL says should happen to you. Bitch.

Rads

Dear CL

Please give T the biggest ribcracking hug ever from me, k?

Love
Rads

crazylegs
05-02-2009, 11:09 AM
Dear Rads,

Consider it done (well, I will be a little more gentle than that, she is only 5'1! :D )

Crazylegs

XCashier
05-03-2009, 03:18 AM
Dear Dreamstalker,

I truly, sincerely hope you get the job. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and saying a prayer for you.

Regards,
XCashier :)

Bella_Vixen
05-05-2009, 03:25 AM
Dear MOAO®--

I am hurting for you. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I never met him, but I feel for you and his family all the same.

:cry:

--Hun

Shpepper
05-05-2009, 04:32 AM
Dear cold weather,

GO AWAY ! ! ! ! I am tired of hurting!

Me




Dear stupid healing ankle with lots of metal in it,

STOP hurting. I can't help the cold and I need you to not hurt all the time. I want the bolts out soon but we have to wait for the doc to give the ok to get it done and then hope that we can schedule the time in June for it to happen.


Me again

CaroPhoenix
05-05-2009, 11:41 AM
Dear Child Rum,

Why did you cut your hair!? Now I'm going to have to get it evened out. And I don't know how to do that. It's either Nana do it where I'll have to endure a lecture or I'll have to take you to a hair cutting place & endure you screaming and weaving and being scared.

:cry:
Mommy

crazylegs
05-05-2009, 02:43 PM
Dear T

Thank you for the lovely compliment, even though you didn't mean it as such it was still quite nice. :)

Love

Crazylegs

Becks
05-05-2009, 03:24 PM
Dear cell phone battery,

You suck, and not in a good way.

:wtf:

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,

--me

CaroPhoenix
05-07-2009, 11:24 AM
Dear Mr. Rum,

Today is your birthday so Happy Birthday to you! :D

I love you, even though you do drive me crazy sometimes.

I'm either getting you Pizza Hut lasagna or Pondfah Thai food.


Love,
Always & Forever,
Mrs. Rum
------------------------------------------------------
Dear Child Rum,

I know you don't like sleeping, but Mommy and Daddy do.

Please learn how to play nicely in your room so we can get some extra sleep.

Love,
Your Mommy who is hyped on coffee & still needs a nap :cry:

Pure Caitred
05-10-2009, 02:09 PM
Dear zombies

Either exist or don't, I'm tired of lying awake at night with the katana.

Dear top hat,

please stop being on my head whenever my parents try to talk to me. It seems to distract them quite a bit

Dear Holly,

Thank you for putting up with me over the years, including the times I forget to preface my rants with a greeting after calling you. Thank you for taking care of me when I'm immature. Thank you for acting like a child when I'm acting motherly.

Please stop walking into the road without looking.

By the way, you're never allowed to grow any older

Caity

crazylegs
05-10-2009, 03:18 PM
Dear T

I'm confused, what's going on here?

Love
Crazylegs

monolayth
05-12-2009, 04:57 PM
Dear idiot,

Did you really think I would back down? Your the one being immature and stupid. Your the one who got all bent out of shape about me requesting politly not to be sent any text forwards.

Calling me names is not going to endear yourself to me and I hope your daughter never hears what you called her.

It is not my fault your teenage daughter made you cry. I am not the one who puts a huge empahasis on mother's day. I'm not the one who mistook sending a forwarded spam text to someone as a way of starting a conversation.

I am not the one who runs off all friends so the only person she had to turn to about this was somoene you have not seen in a year and only text when you want something.

Sorry honey, I don't need people like you in my life. If this upsets you too bad. I don't care about you or your lying manapitlive ways.

Go bother someone else.

monolayth

Sarlon
05-12-2009, 06:38 PM
Dear parents of 4 preteens that sat behind me in the movie the other night,

....THANK YOU!!!!!

No, seriously, I had my doubts when they sat behind me in the movie and were talking to each other the entire time up to and including the previews...

They however redeemed themselves by as soon as the movie started not only did they NOT talk, the laughed at the right times, and used a stage whisper when they DID say something to someone sitting beside them!

my most heartfelt and sincerest thanks in bringing your children up the right way,

Sarlon

crazylegs
05-13-2009, 07:02 PM
Dear self.

I'm proud of you, you've realised that you've been attempting something that at best would be considered foolish by many people. Just don't do it again y'hear!

Self.

CaroPhoenix
05-13-2009, 07:53 PM
Dear Child Rum,

When Mommy sends you to school in a dress, it's not because she wants you to pull it up and show off your nice watermelon-picture decorated underwear. I put you in the dress because I thought you would look adorable in it. Please try to be not so show-offy next time.

Remember: Our underwear is private,
Mommy

persephone
05-13-2009, 09:26 PM
Dear Child Rum:

I know your underwear is pretty. But it's pretty for YOU to look at and YOU to know about, not everyone else. Listen to your Mommy, okay?

Another mommy


Dear Rummy:

You know, she has a point. Why do they make underwear so pretty when it's not meant to be shared? :p

Mommy of a little girl who also used to show off her "pretties"

CaroPhoenix
05-13-2009, 10:06 PM
Dear persephone,

You know, I never thought about that before. :D

I'm still trying to figure out how to get her to 1. stop pulling down her pants/underwear before getting into the bathroom (which she does both at school & home, but never anywhere else), and 2. that running around the house naked might be a nice thing to do, but not to go out the front door like that.

I think I know where I've been getting all this grey hair I have.

Glad to have another mommy who understands,
Rummy

iradney
05-14-2009, 05:39 AM
Dear Rummy

I agree, why make undies pretty if only you can see them? Maybe try and make it a secret that only you and her share...
I actually can't remember if I was in the habit of flashing my undies as a kidlet...probably coz I only had the plain white ones, which aren't terribly interesting.

Love,
Rads

CaroPhoenix
05-14-2009, 12:39 PM
Dear Rads,

I just can't help but think that Karma is getting back at me from when I was younger. Between the ages of about 4 1/2 and 6, I was the "Hand Stand Queen of my level".(Quick Note: My dad was in the American Air Force, but was stationed in England and we ended up living in Banbury and I went to the local English school instead of the school on the Air Base). We didn't have uniforms per se, but girls wore dresses all the time. And I was really good at doing handstands. And I do remember having lots of "boyfriends" at that time.

Rummy
The Mummy of a free-spirited little girl
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Phlebotomist at Quest Diagnostics,

You rawk! After 10 glasses of water, you were able to find my vein in just one poke! Three tubes later and I was out like a flash. From now on, if I need blood work, I'll just tell my doc to write me an order so I can see y'all.

No longer a pin cushion,
Rummy

MannersMakethMan
05-16-2009, 05:51 PM
Dear K,

Just a small irritation. I can understand why you needed it, and how you couldn't make it happen yourself. I also understand the fact that the 13th is just another day to you, and given the above, I also understand why some things were not forthcoming. I can even understand about the other people and why I'm disposable at the moment.

What I don't understand is why you couldn't even do the one small thing I asked, just for my peace of mind. Sure, perhaps I didn't ought to attach conditions - a good deed should be its own reward, but I only wanted to know when it turned up. It's not exactly asking you to stage another great train robbery, when literally two words on Facebook would have done the job.

And not so much as a thank you is a little irksome, but I'll forgive you given what you're working on right now.

Yours,
A

Dear people of CS,

Please accept some hugs, positive vibes, cups of tea and chocolate. I seem to have an abundance of them.

Yours,
A

Becks
05-16-2009, 06:13 PM
Dear cell phone battery,

You suck long and hard. And NOT in a good way.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear future in-laws,

Why the hell can't you give something close to a solid date as to when you're coming out here? I have plans to make, you know. And I want to go back to NJ for a visit, and it would suck for you if you came out here while I was out there.

And for the love of...whatever...don't just tell the man of the household things. He has a slight memory problem, remember? If he didn't let slip a few weeks ago that you were planning for July, I wouldn't know that. If I wasn't in the same room as him when he's talking to you today, I wouldn't know that you're now thinking of August.

I need to know these things too, you know.

Not best pleased,

your WI "daughter"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear MOTH™,

Don't put words into my mouth. Especially when talking to your parents...and when I'm right next to you.

:wtf:

You think I'm not listening to you misrepresenting what I'm saying to try to help you and them?

Being driven to drink,

me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear S,

I know you're in a bad mood for whatever reason. However, I ask that you don't take it out on me.

Staying out of firing range,

Becky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Lizziebeff,

Today will be fun.

:bounce:

Love,

Becks

Peppergirl
05-16-2009, 07:58 PM
Dear Ex-husband whom I was just RECENTLY getting civil with again, (but am no longer):

DIAF. I recently heard you're moving two blocks away from me. I feel sorry for your new GF. I met her and liked her, and she deserves better than you. She'll find out soon enough, I suppose.


Dear Ex-fiance, who was my best friend in the ENTIRE world (until recently):

You can also DIAF. SIX years of this back-and-forth bullshit is ENOUGH. I'm done. I've blocked you via text, phone and email - yet you still persist in finding ways of reaching me. You had your chance. You should have made things right with me YEARS ago. Must be exhausting to lose at your own game.


Dear Grace-of-Higher Power:

Thank you for the recent enlightening and eye-opening you've provided me with regarding certain people in my life. Particularly the ones above. It's been a LONG time coming!!


Dear fellow CS'ers:

Thanks for listening to me ramble. I rarely talk about personal stuff on here, but I figured I'd give it a shot. It's very theraputic, so THANKS!

Bella_Vixen
05-16-2009, 10:54 PM
Dear Becks--

The first part of today was fun. :wave:

--Sunshine

Bella_Vixen
05-17-2009, 05:49 AM
Dear Becks--

The second part rocked, too.

:wave:

--Sunshine

Becks
05-17-2009, 05:53 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,

I'm glad you had fun. :D

Love,

Becks

RootedPhoenix
05-18-2009, 07:00 AM
Dear spider kind,

The food is better outside. I have relocated two of you outside in the past few days. Please stay outside.

--me

Dear ants,

Do stay away. I have peppermint to convince you to do so. :devil:

(fun fact: certain ant kinds do not like the smell of peppermint oil. But it's bad for cats too.)

--me

draftermatt
05-18-2009, 12:34 PM
'Dear' Cleaning Company,

I know it's dusty in here, which is why we hire you guys to come in and clean up once a week (incidentally, thanks for doing my desk, I didn't realize how bad it had gotten). But we bought that vacuum for you guys to keep down on the dust. Do you have to insist on sweeping everything kicking up so much dust I can literally taste it?

Other than that, good job.

Signed,

The guy who always seems to be in your way.

smileyeagle1021
05-18-2009, 02:34 PM
Dear so-called friend,
I'm hurt, I really am. I found out that you were in Salt Lake hanging out this weekend not by you calling, or texting, or emailing, or even writing on my fucking facebook wall to let me know you were going to be in town, but by seeing the pictures you posted on your facebook page... one even with a note mentioning that you'd have loved for more friends to have been there. Well fuck you, all you had to do to get at least one more person was pick up the phone, you were 15 minutes away from my house. It seems odd that every other week or so you ask when the next time I'll be in Logan will be, but don't think it would be appropriate to let me know when you are coming to Salt Lake. The last person who did that to me was my father's mother... congratulations, you are now as considerate as a registered member of the nazi party.

sincerely,
obviously someone who cares more for you than you care for me

Dear real friends.
thank you for always being there. you'll never know just how much you mean to me.

sincerely,
someone who doesn't treat you nearly as well as you deserve

Shpepper
05-19-2009, 03:14 AM
Dear Rain,

Why the hell can't you show up on the days that I work??? For the last month, every day off that I have had it has rained and I can't go outside and I can't get things that I need to do done. I can't take it anymore. Rain on my damn work days please???


Soggily,

Meow


Dear Sun,


Come back Please.


Missing you,

Meow

RootedPhoenix
05-19-2009, 11:17 AM
Dear Shpepper,

I'll trade you. It is too hot here. Sunshine is great, but I am melting. Bah.

--RP

Shpepper
05-19-2009, 09:14 PM
Dear RP,

You may most certainly have my rain. But I honestly don't want the heat in return. I have been where you live in the spring and summer. Just some sunshine so I can put things outside my storage as I sort them.


Meow

RootedPhoenix
05-19-2009, 11:29 PM
Dear Shpepper,

Ummm... *ponders* .....we'll send you the sunshine, and my friend in New York can have the heat. We'll all be happy. :D

--RP (who wishes this sort of thing were really possible. I love rain. :) )

Lace Neil Singer
05-20-2009, 12:26 AM
Dear spiders,

I wuv you. Really I do. Just please stay out of my bathtub; I find it very annoying to have to remove you and your kind from the tub before I can run my bath. How about you go and catch flies or something instead of venturing into a place from where you can not escape without my help?

From Lace.

Shpepper
05-20-2009, 07:38 AM
Dear Shpepper,

Ummm... *ponders* .....we'll send you the sunshine, and my friend in New York can have the heat. We'll all be happy. :D

--RP (who wishes this sort of thing were really possible. I love rain. :) )

Dear RP,

Sounds just luverly. Do you think you could include an In-N-Out Double Double with double cheese and extra grilled onions, an order of fried and a chocolate shake with the sunshine? I am so craving that right now and have not had it for 15 years.

Meow
Pepper (It would be wonderful)

The_Dane
05-20-2009, 08:43 AM
Dear F,

Back in Vejle, you were my friend, my compatriot, and my only ally. But you know what?

Fuck you. Just because you're a visitor, does not give you the rights to say all that you have said. Off color remarks when my wife's not present are one thing(though I hate those, too), but to say such things blatently in her presence? You're an asshole. There are ways to approach the subject, but what you did isn't one of them. Asking my wife if "things" are not used while making rude hand gestures? What the fuck?

But to answer your question, or rather bragging that you and your wife make the beast with two backs six times a week? Twice a day, and that's with my brain tumor, her paralysis, and her relatives coming in and out of our tiny apartment all day.

So please, go back to Vejle. Your attitude isn't welcome.

DIAF,
Me

------

Dear Banshee Harpy Bitches,

At first, I thought it was just you, but apparently something must be in the goddamn water. Still not forgiving you, though.

Your nonexistant son/brother

-----

Dear Goldaries,

Thank you for putting up with all the idiots in my past. That being said, put the gun back in your purse, they're gone.

Love,
Your husband/pussywhipped slave

crazylegs
05-20-2009, 09:27 PM
Dear S

Is it so hard to think you're not the centre of the known universe for perhaps just one moment?

No?

Oh well. Have fun!

No Love

Crazylegs

monolayth
05-21-2009, 12:55 AM
Dear universe,

It needs to be made that you cannot get sick while pregnant. It is not fair. :cry:

meh!,
Monolayth

Dear Body,

Quit with this sickness. It is not cool to have an upper respatory infections. You have asthma and are pregnant. Totally not cool. And the stomach pains you were having earlier totally freaked me out. Am glad the dr told me that it was because i have been coughing so much.

Oh and the contant feeling like i have to trow up can go too.

nausiated,:puke:
monolayth

RootedPhoenix
05-21-2009, 05:35 AM
Dear RP,

Sounds just luverly. Do you think you could include an In-N-Out Double Double with double cheese and extra grilled onions, an order of fried and a chocolate shake with the sunshine? I am so craving that right now and have not had it for 15 years.

Meow
Pepper (It would be wonderful)

Shpepper,

I can do that! *sends* :D

--RP

monolayth,

Boo on sickness. Boo I say. :( *offers 7up and crackers* I agree that being pregnant should be quite enough. Bleh. *offers gentle hugs also*

--RP

Shpepper
05-21-2009, 06:16 AM
Dear RP,

*opens package, takes a bite....... swoons* HEAVEN ! ! ! !

needing to travel south desperately,

Meow

SengaKitty
05-21-2009, 06:21 AM
Dear The_Dane and Goldenaries,
Ya'll rock :D And go The_Dane for sticking up for your wifey :)

Much love,
RHPG

----------------

Dear Sir,
I'm sorry you're sick, and you're so far away I can't take care of you :( I worry a lot, but you worried me more when you said you were coughing up blood. At least you went to the wellness center like I told you to. Thank you for doing that, I have no way to get to Maryland to kick your butt for not taking care of yourself. Only 36 more days til summer break! WOOOOO!

I love you with all my heart, and miss you and am counting the days and hours and minutes til I can see you again, and I hope to have a bed in the house this week :D

Your faerie

goldaries13
05-21-2009, 09:31 AM
<snip>

Dear Goldaries,

Thank you for putting up with all the idiots in my past. That being said, put the gun back in your purse, they're gone.

Love,
Your husband/pussywhipped slave

Dear Dane,

Honestly, who cares about those idiots? That being said, any future offspring are never to be left with them unsupervised. They may end up doing some weird baby switch thing.

Love,
Me

---

Dear RHPG,

Us? Awesome? Surely you jest. We're just an ordinary couple with a taste for the bizarre.

GoldAries

---

Dear Mummy,

Please find a hobby while you're here. It's really cramping my sex life to having you over all the time. I mean, the walls are paper thin and it's just really weird, okay? There's only so many times The Dane can use the excuse he's checking for skin ulcers.

Lots of love anyway,
Me

smileyeagle1021
05-21-2009, 11:28 AM
Dear J,
Why must you live in Texas and I live in Utah. I think I've fallen for you. Scratch that, I know I've fallen for you. I wish I knew whether or not you felt the same way. Maybe I don't, that might make the distance even more painful. I know you've mentioned before that you wanted to get out of Texas and that you liked the snow. I know exactly where you can find plenty of snow and where, come august, there will be an open room. If you are even half the person I think you are, I would gladly make any sacrifice for you.

Smiley

Dear Irony,
you do enjoy tormenting me don't you. 2.1 million people living within an hour of me, so of course it only makes sense that you'd make me start to fall for someone over 1000 miles away.
not greatly amused
Smiley

RootedPhoenix
05-23-2009, 09:35 AM
Dear back,

You stink. It was just potting soil. :mad:

Dear life,

That thing that happened today? I really would have liked it if that did not happen to her. Also, OW. It hurt ME too. But it hurt her more. Grrr.

Dear painkillers,

I hope you rock. Infact, I hope your rocking-ness covers up the fact that my back IS SO VERY UNAWESOME.

Thank you for existing.

--RP

iradney
05-23-2009, 10:27 AM
Dear body

Enough with the broodiness. Cut it out.

Rads

CaroPhoenix
05-23-2009, 11:27 AM
Dear Mother Rum,

My daughter is NOT fat! How dare you tell me that! She's in the 95th precentile+ for height and weight. She is height & weight proportionate!

You want to see fat? Look at Sister Rum when she just a few years older than Child Rum. And how about you? I know I can find fat pictures of you when you were a child.

Stop it. One day you're telling me I'm not feeding her enough and now she's FAT!?

Grrrr,
Your Daughter
-------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Rum,

I'm thisclose to forbidding D&D games at our house. Start behaving and helping out with the cleaning of the table.

Grrr to you too,
Your Wife

Peppergirl
05-23-2009, 01:28 PM
[COLOR="Purple"]Dear Mother Rum,

My daughter is NOT fat! How dare you tell me that! She's in the 95th precentile+ for height and weight. She is height & weight proportionate!

You want to see fat? Look at Sister Rum when she just a few years older than Child Rum. And how about you? I know I can find fat pictures of you when you were a child.

Stop it. One day you're telling me I'm not feeding her enough and now she's FAT!?

Grrrr,
Your Daughter


Dear IDAR,

Can I help you smack your mom around? That got MY blood boiling for you and childrum so I can only imagine how YOU felt.

No love for mama Rum,

Pepper

CaroPhoenix
05-23-2009, 02:36 PM
Dear Pepper,

Thank you! I was just too shocked at what my mom had to say. I just told her to "hush" and then I said she wasn't fat.

Yes, I know I'm heavy. And Mr. Rum is heavy too, but I'm working on it, and Mr. Rum is sorta working on it (he wants to go the surgery way and I want to go the change diet/exercise way).

After she left, I was spitting nails at Mr. Rum about it. It hurt my feelings. If Child Rum wasn't so intent on visiting Papa Rum in the car, she might have actually heard what my mom said about her.

*le sigh*
Rummy

persephone
05-23-2009, 03:36 PM
Dear Mother Rum and Mr. Rummy,

I don't like you. Stop bothering Rummy and Child Rum and stop being mean to them. Rummy is a good mommy -- LET HER TAKE CARE OF HER KID!

No love,

Persephone


Dear CSers,

Thanks for the prayers, thoughts, virtual hugs and everything else you are and have been sending to my family. I appreciate it.

Sorry I've been MIA for so long but, you know, it's been a long few months. But I'm doing a little better. I'm having some good days.

So I'm around a bit.

Thanks for caring.

Persephone

Peppergirl
05-23-2009, 10:53 PM
Dear mom of my ex-fiance,

The card you sent me yesterday had the desired effect, even though I know the check in it, drawn on YOUR account, was really from your son.

I cried at first, then I was mad, then I cried again, then I let it go.

It's unfortunate that your son apparently felt it necessary to share with you the dirty-details of my decision to no longer be his friend, therefore cutting him out of my life completely.

I am proud to say that I have never, to this day, trashed your son to MY parents - nor will I ever.

The last day I spoke to your son I stated "The hardest part for me will be your mom and your (19 year old) son. I love them and will miss them dearly"

In fact, why is it that your NINETEEN year old grandson is capable of handling this entire situation with dignity and tact, but you (age 70) and your son (age 40) are just attempting to find ways to rile me.

Granted, I could see the hurt leaping off the page of the card. I'm hurt too. I miss you too...but you're only hearing ONE side of things, because I have too much CLASS and DIGNITY to drag your son's and my dirty laundry out for public family consumption.

I'm cashing the check. I know it's not from you. And he KNOWS DAMNED WELL he doesn't owe me anything, nor have I asked for anything. If anything, I owe HIM for the work he did on Danny's PC.

I thought long and hard about writing back and/or leaving you a voicemail when I know you're at work, but I'm resolved to quit feeding this situation.

Six years of this is enough. I'm finally done, and your son is FINALLY realizing that...because I've never stood my ground before. It's finally time for us ALL to let go.

Regardless, I was closer to you than I EVER was to my mother in law of 15 years, and I'll miss you more than words can say. I just wish you still loved me enough to realize that there's two sides to every story, and your son's history should be enough to know that maybe his side isn't the CORRECT one.

Love,
~Pepper

smileyeagle1021
05-24-2009, 02:51 AM
Dear delta,

FUCK YOU!

that is all

Smiley

Dear J,
two days now you haven't signed on to messenger... I'm starting to get a little concerned.

please sign on so we can talk again,
smiley

CaroPhoenix
05-24-2009, 01:22 PM
Dear persephone,

I'm glad to see you back!

Mother Rum & Mr. Rum are really getting on my nerves. I don't know if I can take it much more, but I cannot quit either of them. (Child Rum loves her Nana and she even likes having her Daddy around).

I think I'm going to have to take Tai Chi or Yoga or something where I can just relax and think of pleasant things. :D

:hug:
Rummy

monolayth
05-24-2009, 05:35 PM
Dear A,

There are moments where i really dispise you for not being here. Today is one of them. I am so tired and so sick. but I have to take care of your children. I hope you are enjoying your time in florida or whereever it is that you have run off to.

I hope you enjoy your un interrupted sleep. I hope you enjoy your showers without being scalded because they were thristy. I hope you enjoy not haveing to make sure their laundry is done. I hope you enjoy not having to cook for them. I hope you enjoy being able to go whereever you please whenever you please. i hope you enjoy being able to stay home when your sick, and not go in just to be able to afford to feed them. I hope you enjoy being able to rest. I hope you enjoy the quiet.

I hope you enjoy the love of these children who see you as awesome. I hope you enjoy your life carefree. I hope you enjoy constantly posting about how you want your children and you miss them. I hope that someday you actually call to talk to them, or come to see them. you may have them whenever you wish. that has always been true. though whoring your way through tropical climates is more appealing.

I hope you are enjoying the life you chose for yourself.

exausted and sick, and still taking care of them,
Mono.

BookstoreEscapee
05-24-2009, 09:07 PM
Dear Rummy,

Tell Mr. Rum that surgery is supposed to be a last resort, and most reputable doctors would probably tell you to make a real effort at the lifestyle changing first. Besides, after surgery, you have to change the way you eat permanently if you want it to work in the long run.

-me-

CaroPhoenix
05-25-2009, 12:48 AM
Dear BSE,

Thank you for the advice. You might have to deliver it to him as he doesn't want to listen to me. Since our health insurance doesn't require the 6-month-diet thing (especially for patients as large as him - 462 pounds), he's excited about the surgery. However, he hasn't changed his way of eating. I'm struggling with changing the way I eat (adding more veggies, eating smaller meals, etc.), it's not helping anything.

Any suggestions on how to get him to listen to me?

Sincerely,
Rummy

BookstoreEscapee
05-25-2009, 01:29 AM
Dear Rummy,

Has he actually spoken to a doctor about it yet? He might need more of a "voice of authority" to get it to sink in...

-be

Irving Patrick Freleigh
05-25-2009, 02:08 AM
Dear ESPN:

I beg you, oh pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease, PLEASE do not put the Brewers on anymore this season? Or any other season?

Pretty please with hot fudge and mashed-up Oreos on top?

Every time you do, the Brewers completely suck ass. I think it's in the Constitution somewhere that they have to play like crap when they're on ESPN. Put on the Red Sox or the Yankees or the Mets as you do 99% of the baseball season anyway.

PLEASE?!

Irv

P.S.--Speaking of things that must be in the Constitution, why is it the Milwaukee Brewers always make crappy pitchers look like Cy Young? They're facing a guy with an ERA near 7 tonight and they can't work a single walk off him? Srsly, what's up with that?

CaroPhoenix
05-25-2009, 11:43 AM
Dear BSE,

We've been talking to one of the better weight loss surgery groups in the area. The doctor is thrilled that my husband doesn't have to do the 6-mont-diet and is encouraging him to do the surgery A.S.A.P. (Though we did learn through the nutritionist that after being green lighted for the surgery, he has a year to do it).

I'm just nervous. They're playing with his innards. They'll have him under sedation. He'll have to stay home for at least 2 weeks and then I'd have to take care of him and a special needs child.

I'm not up to it. And he's still eating badly.

:cry:
Rummy

Shpepper
05-26-2009, 01:43 AM
Dear Idrinkarum,

If that is how you feel and you don't think you will be able to handle it all, Tell his doctor. You should not be put under the additional stresses if you are not at a point where you can take it. You have to think of your health as well as his and also what's best for Child Rum as well. Perhaps the docs can get you some extra help or something so that you are not trying to take total care of both of them at once. Child rum seems to be enough on her charming little own self.

Butting in but concerned,

Meow
Pepper

McGoddess09
05-26-2009, 02:20 AM
Dear ovaries,

I'm sick of these games you play. You pain me and pain me, only to show nothing. I'm doubled over at work during the busiest shift, but you don't show mercy. Only when I'm sitting down,relaxing do you let up. When I decide to go out, then you attack me mercilessly.

You're lucky I want kids, otherwise I would have to break up with you and kick you out.

Screw you,
McGoddess

The_Dane
05-27-2009, 01:07 PM
Dear Dane,

Honestly, who cares about those idiots? That being said, any future offspring are never to be left with them unsupervised. They may end up doing some weird baby switch thing.

Love,
Me

Dear GA13,
Agreed.
-Me


Dear Mummy,

Please find a hobby while you're here. It's really cramping my sex life to having you over all the time. I mean, the walls are paper thin and it's just really weird, okay? There's only so many times The Dane can use the excuse he's checking for skin ulcers.

Lots of love anyway,
Me

Dear GA13 again,

It's good to see you're still under the delusion that we're fooling people.

-Me

CaroPhoenix
05-27-2009, 01:32 PM
Dear The_Dane,

You made me giggle with your letters to GA13. :D

Lots of hugs and good thoughts/prayers to you and your wife.

:hug:
Rummy
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Body,

What is up with you at this moment? What is up with all the cramping and PMSing? There's been nothing to show for it except for more cramping and whatnot. If my kitty is going to get a nosebleed, please have the nosebleed show up quickly or quit it with the cravings, the PMSing and the cramps!

Especially the cramps! Make them go away!

:cry:
Me

McGoddess09
05-28-2009, 01:31 AM
Dear Rummy,
I know how you feel. I was curled up in a ball on bed bed,whimpering and near tears. Ibuprofen cannot work fast enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Fuzzy Butt,
I know you are used to me waking up early. Now, I don't need to all the time.

You are a smart cat and I love it, but please, stop doing your newest trick to wake me up. Quit putting your mouth near my ear and meowing as loud as you can. Mommy needs her sleep. :cry:

goldaries13
05-28-2009, 04:50 AM
Dear GA13 again,

It's good to see you're still under the delusion that we're fooling people.

-Me

Dear Dane,

Well, with the frequency, I suppose not.

Love,
Me

Dear The_Dane,

You made me giggle with your letters to GA13. :D

Lots of hugs and good thoughts/prayers to you and your wife.

:hug:
Rummy


Dear Rummy,

Thank you for the prayers. Also, he's so cute when he thinks he's being witty. That's another week in the basement for him!

-GA13

CaroPhoenix
05-28-2009, 10:13 AM
Dear Shpepper,

Thank you for the suggestions. I never thought to talk to Mr. Rum's doctor about it. Maybe it's because I feel I'm being selfish about him getting the surgery? I'm not sure. All I know is that I worry every time I think about it.

I'd send him to his mother's house if she wasn't 2 hours away from our house.

Child Rum is getting more and more wild. I'm going to have to get my ducks in a row and get all the information I need to get an appointment with a behavioral pediatrician.

Going insane,
Rummy
----------------------------------------------
Dear GA13,

You're more than welcome to the prayers!

Yeah, though I complain about Mr. Rum sometimes (okay, more like 9 times out of 10 :o), he can be cute sometimes ... And I understand. :lol: But if I put him our basement, he'd be more than happy to stay there as it's got all his Dungeons & Dragons stuff down there along with our desktop computer.

:roll:
Rummy

Shpepper
05-28-2009, 05:13 PM
Dear Rummy,

You love him. That's why you worry. Do be sure to find out about what extra help you can get be it for Mr. Rum or for Child Rum. I think it will probably be easier to find help for the Mr.

Good luck getting everything you need together for Child Rum. You are an amazing mom from what I can tell and you will get her what she needs.

Pepper

CaroPhoenix
05-30-2009, 12:03 AM
Dear Shpepper,

Thank you for the luck and the advice. :) May I borrow you in the future to help me think?

:lol:
Rummy
------------------------------------------
Dear McGoddess,

Hope you're having fun!

The cramps, for me, is getting worse. :cry:

:hug:
Rummy
------------------------------------------------
"Dear" Mr. Rum,

You might think you're funny when you say "I'll get on that train" when "that train" is the "Hate Rummy Train".

You're not funny and you hurt my feelers.

:cry: :cry:
Mrs. Rum

Shpepper
05-30-2009, 05:31 AM
Dear Rummy,

But of course you may use me to think. I am rather good at suggestions for other peoples lives. :lol:

Pepper




Dear Mr Rum,


:salmon:

That is all.

Pepper

CaroPhoenix
05-30-2009, 10:48 PM
Dear Shpepper,

Yay! I don't have to think anymore! :lol:

I am with you on the Mr. Rum + frozen salmon thing.

I think I need more rum,
Rummy
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mother Rum,

Please don't start telling me that Child Rum is going to die because she touched a table with fresh spray paint on it. Mr. Rum took Joy dishwashing liquid and a sponge and got all the stuff off her hands. Don't imply that I'm a bad mother because I let my daughter go out onto the back porch (with Mr. Rum and myself) and she was dancing around on the deck and was therefore watching her daddy spray paint the little table and chairs we bought her for $1 at a yard sale today.

I really need more rum,
Your Daughter

MannersMakethMan
05-31-2009, 10:33 PM
Dear self,

Please don't waste tomorrow. Follow the list and all will be well.

Yours,
Self.


Dear Mistress o' Rum,

Some people need to learn how and when to speak. You should trust yourself - you know fine well what you're doing, and you're doing it amazingly.

Sending rum and a couple of frozen salmon for use as you wish,
MMM

BookstoreEscapee
05-31-2009, 11:08 PM
Dear centipedes, spiders, and other many-legged creatures,

STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY APARTMENT!!!!!

With no love,
Me

CaroPhoenix
05-31-2009, 11:20 PM
Dear Triple M,

Thank you for the kind words, the rum and the frozen salmon! :roll:

All of them have been greatly needed and in much demand for the past several days.

:hug:
Rummy
------------------------------------------------
Dear BSE,

Don't worry! I'm here! I'm really good at spraying raid, screaming and jumping backwards all at the same time! :D

Yes, I know .... no need to thank me for coming to your rescue.

:hug: :hug:
Rummy

fireheart
06-01-2009, 12:18 AM
Dear CSers,

Thank you for all the hugs and thoughts when I opened up about the two assholes that had hurt me. I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that it was sexual assault and part of me still wants to hurt them.

Love Fireheart.

Dear Cute Nightfiller,

Who said that you're adorable? To me you're a cute metal-loving geek :lol:

Love Fireheart.

monolayth
06-01-2009, 05:50 PM
Dear CS.

Apple butter. MUST have apple butter..........

craving,
prego mono



Dear whoever reads this.

well im 27 weeks along now, having weird cravings and mood swings. not just normal mood swings, but going from must kill you to i love you in hours.

everyone wants to be around me, oh yeah.

rawr,
mono

iradney
06-01-2009, 07:02 PM
Dear germs

BUGGER OFF!!

That is all
Rads

BookstoreEscapee
06-02-2009, 12:20 AM
Dear Ex,

You told my father you wouldn't let me down. I haven't heard from you in over two months. You know what you need to do.

With only so much patience,
me

CaroPhoenix
06-02-2009, 12:30 PM
To all those who have responded to this thread (http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showthread.php?t=48610),

Thank you for all the kind words. I know I'll still get up tight for a while to come with people glaring at me because of Child Rum's behavior. However, now I have some mantras to repeat and I'll definitely be handing out the business cards I had printed up (they explain that Child Rum has autism and it gives what the official definition of autism is).

Thank y'all again!
Rummy

iradney
06-02-2009, 12:48 PM
Dear not so new job

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :D :love:

Love
Rads

Irving Patrick Freleigh
06-03-2009, 01:31 AM
Dear Ken Macha:

Thank you so much for flushing that turd Jorge Julio and not doing the Ned Yost thing and continuing to pitch him when it's clear he fails at pitching.

Now please send Manny Parra along with him. Our chances to win tonight would've been much better with Stan the Baseball-Throwing Chicken starting.

Irv

goldaries13
06-03-2009, 08:24 PM
Dear Dumb Bitch,

You applied to one of my RPGs. I'd try and remember which one, but that requires effort I'm not willing to expend. I rejected your audition, saying your character was too narrow in scope and needed to be expanded. You then proceeded to stalk me across every. single. one of my RPGs and harass me via your auditions.

Fuck you. Fuck you with an ice pick. Stop listening to your 14 year old friends who tell you u r liek, omg, an awesom writur, and also stop trolling the RPGs and applying to the romance ones in hopes the game masters will be your boyfriends. Just because I'm playing the male lead, doesn't mean I'm a dude, or that I'd want to date you.

Oh, and threatening to sic the website owner on me does no good. I own the website owner, I even have a piece of paper from the state of New York saying so. :p

In closing, enjoy your three week ban. You really should have checked my profile and saw that shiny banner proclaiming me the admin before you harassed me.

No love,
Me

BookstoreEscapee
06-04-2009, 12:46 AM
Dear me,

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. STOP IT!!!

Love,
me

aurelemsrealm
06-04-2009, 01:50 AM
Dear Co-Workers Who Decide to be Drama Queens,

First of all, this only applies to those certain coworkers who are acting like bratty little drama queens.

Have you ever wondered why I often go to the coolers or to do other chores, and leave you at the front by yourself? I can't stand to hear your whining about how bad you hate customers, or how unfairly you think the manager is treating you.

In regards to how much you hate customers..... I can relate as I hate some customers, too. There are some customers who are difficult. All of us have those certain difficult customers we just want to choke. I'd prefer not to think about them when they are not here. I certainly won't tell if you decide to lash out at the worst ones as I've lashed out at some horrid ones in my time working here. However, I've worked here longer than any of you, including the manager, so I pretty well know the temperaments of the regulars. Some of the regulars have even told me about the reasons why they dislike you when they see me. Even so, I really don't want to hear it all the time. It just gets old after a while.

In regards to how unfairly you think the manager treats you.... You'll really have to talk to her about that. Yes, she tells me a lot of things because she needs to vent to someone without fear of it being spread around the rumor mill. Yes, she does sometimes ask for my opinion about things because I have been in management before, and so I know the ropes. There are many special tasks that I can do that the rest of you can't because I have been in management, and I know how it works. I have probably even already heard her side of the story you are now whining to me about. Yes, she even unofficially leaves me in charge of the store when she and the assistant are not present because I know how to do things and get things done. Even so, I'm not a part of the chain of command, and I stepped away from it voluntarily because I don't want the stress. All that being said, I may know the issue, but I'm not going to let on as such because it's not my business to know. You'll really just have to take it up with her. If you want to whine about it, that's your choice. Just do yourself a favor, and keep it behind the counter. Don't whine to customers because they don't want to hear it. Most of them are just going to run back to me or management later. I won't tell on you if they inform me, so consider yourselves lucky there. However, there's a good chance they may tell management, then you're going to get it again all because you don't know how to keep your mouth shut.

Sarlon
06-04-2009, 03:19 AM
Dear left shoulder,

Thank you for being patient with me these past 12 years...I know I did a HORRIBLE thing by ripping you twice...in 6 months....doing the same thing. I've been working you patiently and understandingly...someday we may get you back to orginal shape but for now....be patient...

Much love,
Me

------------------

Dear RIGHT shoulder and elbow...

WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?!!?!?! ALL I DID WAS WORK OUT!!! NOW YOU HURT WORSE THEN WHEN I FIRST TORE YOUR COUNTERPART!!!!

much hate...
me

iradney
06-04-2009, 05:19 AM
Dear TTO

Happy birthday my love :) And happy 5 year anniversary! I love you with all my heart!

Rads

Bella_Vixen
06-06-2009, 05:36 AM
Dear Becks and Mr. Becks--

Thanks for everything today! I owe you!!

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy093.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)

--Sunshine

CaroPhoenix
06-06-2009, 01:48 PM
Dear Body & Stomach,

For the past 2 days, I've woken up starving. Yesterday I was starving all day, no matter what I ate/drank to keep me filled up.

Looks like it's going to happen again. What is wrong with me?

:cry:
Rummy

Jack T. Chance
06-06-2009, 02:25 PM
Dear Brain;

Please to be shutting down now, so I can get some damn sleep!

Insomnia is annoying as shit and is no longer welcome in my home! :headdesk:

K? Thnxbye

------------------------------------

Dear Single, Attractive, Geeky Women, Aged 21-36 in the Mid-Atlantic Region;

Please to be pulling your heads out of your asses and realizing what a great catch I am!

This guy has had it with being a bachelor and would very much appreciate some female companionship immediately, if not sooner!

K? Thnxbye

ArenaBoy
06-06-2009, 03:03 PM
Dear Garth,

I'll miss ya buddy. You were my best friend and a great dog. I'll miss your lazy ways. :cry:

Becks
06-06-2009, 03:38 PM
Dear Lizziebeff,

You're very welcome.

Did you hook up your new speaker system yet?

Love,

Becks

monolayth
06-06-2009, 04:53 PM
Dear everybody,

I have FINALLY hit the third trimester.

so SOON ill get this parasite out of me and likely not sleep again lol.

hugely,
mono.

BookstoreEscapee
06-06-2009, 06:40 PM
Dear Brain;

Please to be shutting down now, so I can get some damn sleep!

Dear Jack,

Would this help? :punch:



Dear Single, Attractive, Geeky Women, Aged 21-36 in the Mid-Atlantic Region;

Please to be pulling your heads out of your asses and realizing what a great catch I am!

This guy has had it with being a bachelor and would very much appreciate some female companionship immediately, if not sooner!

K? Thnxbye

Dear Jack,
And what makes you such a great catch?

Dear Garth,

I'll miss ya buddy. You were my best friend and a great dog. I'll miss your lazy ways. :cry:

Dear ArenaBoy,

:hug:

Dear everybody,

I have FINALLY hit the third trimester.

so SOON ill get this parasite out of me and likely not sleep again lol.

hugely,
mono.

Dear mono,

Good luck! :)

iradney
06-06-2009, 10:52 PM
Dear hair

It's been fun, but tomorrow, you're coming off - yay!
Love
Rads

Jack T. Chance
06-06-2009, 11:44 PM
Dear Jack,

Would this help? :punch:
It just might! ;)Dear Jack,

And what makes you such a great catch?
Well, let's see here: I don't do drugs
I don't smoke
I don't drink
I'm not a misogynistic bastard! You know the type... Blast their gangsta rap WAY too loud in their cars, wear clothes 5 sizes too big, have never discovered the concept of a belt, love referring to women as "hoes", and love to beat their "hoes". :rolleyes:
I don't believe in cheating on anything other than video games. ;) And I'm just a really nice guy! :)But you know how it is... Nice guys finish last. :(

Which reminds me...

Dear God Lord Almighty Asshole;

Listen here, you sonuvabitch! I turned my back on you for very good reasons, so stop meddling in my life and making it suck so much! If you want to fuck with someone so badly, go bother a politician!

With disgust and loathing...

Jack

persephone
06-07-2009, 01:43 AM
Dear Mono,

It gets better. It does. You're doing great and it'll all be over soon!

Good thoughts heading your way,

Persephone

monolayth
06-07-2009, 05:37 AM
dear everyone,

thanks for your good thoughts!

tired after work,
mono

Irving Patrick Freleigh
06-07-2009, 06:59 PM
Dear Al Gore:

Please be honest with me--you're just kidding about this global warming thing, right? Someday soon you're going to be all "HA HA, PSYCH!", correct?

It is currently 52 degrees in my neck of the woods. In June. My winter coat ought to be in storage now instead of on my body. I would love some global warming right about now.

Now go make yourself useful and find Manbearpig, K? I'm super cereal.

Teeth-chatteringly,
Irv.

Dear Fireworks Which Came From The Airport, I Think,

No thanks for waking me up last night, but thanks for being easily viewable from my bedroom window. You were pretty.

Irv

Dear Clearance Swamp Marketing Minions:

Would you please quit fucking lying about your furniture being "furniture store quality"? That's only truth-y if the furniture store you're referring to sells nightstands with holes punched in the sides, beds with veneers peeling off like sunburned skin, items missing hardware and assembly instructions, and couches with torn and dirty upholstery because they're packaged in the flimsiest cardboard boxes known to man.

It may surprise you to learn that people don't consider it a good value when they plunk down $800 for one of our bedroom sets, get everything home, and have to exchange half the pieces because of defects. And I'm getting tired of schlepping this shit back to the backroom to be defected out.

Seriously, if the vendors aren't going to produce a quality product, get out of the business already.

Backachingly,
Irv

Dear Havaianas,

Congratulations on producing the only flip-flop I can wear comfortably. The straps aren't so stiff that they rub between my toes and cause blisters, and the sole is so soft my foot sinks right into it.

This is coming from somebody who swore he wouldn't wear flip flops because he couldn't find any that weren't painful.

Irv

crazylegs
06-07-2009, 07:10 PM
Dear new style work jacket.

You're nice and warm, comfy and waterproof; but how do you get so so grubby? Is there a magic elfin type creature that lives in an as yet unfound pocket with a vast supply of dirt to rub onto said jacket?

I wash you and wash you and wash you and still you manage to attract previously unseen levels of dirt on pockets, seams and edges.

Baffled

Crazylegs

BookstoreEscapee
06-07-2009, 07:11 PM
Dear Rads,

Chopped mine off yesterday! Woohoo!! :D

With a lighter head,
BE

CaroPhoenix
06-08-2009, 12:27 AM
Dear Lady in the Carraba's restaurant rest room,

Thank you for thinking Child Rum was gorgeous! I think so too, but since I'm her Mommy, I'm prejudice. :p At least I now have an unbiased opinion.

Happy,
Rummy

Shpepper
06-08-2009, 05:03 AM
Dear new style work jacket.

You're nice and warm, comfy and waterproof; but how do you get so so grubby? Is there a magic elfin type creature that lives in an as yet unfound pocket with a vast supply of dirt to rub onto said jacket?

I wash you and wash you and wash you and still you manage to attract previously unseen levels of dirt on pockets, seams and edges.

Baffled

Crazylegs


Dear Crazylegs,

Try washing your wonderful new jacket with a little liquid starch in the rinse cycle. When you wash it again, the dirt lifts right off when the starch washes out. You have to repeat it every time but it tends to work for me.

Meow,

Pepper

iradney
06-08-2009, 05:14 AM
Dear Rads,

Chopped mine off yesterday! Woohoo!! :D

With a lighter head,
BE

Dear BSE

EEEH :D isn't it AWESOME?? I'll take piccies sometime today and post them :D

Love
Rads

RootedPhoenix
06-08-2009, 05:37 AM
Dear aloe babies,

YAY!! Keep growing!

Dear headache,

BOO! Also, GO AWAY! :mad:

Dear J-pop,

YAY! You're awesome!

Dear plants,

YAY! I love how awesome you are.

Dear blooming flower of mine,

You are very pretty. Please keep opening up and being pretty.

Dear life,

YAY!

--RP

persephone
06-08-2009, 04:29 PM
Dear Rads and BSE,

Chopped my hair this week too -- it's the shortest it's been since I was in elementary school. Doesn't even touch my shoulders. :eek:

It's a bit crazy!

A fellow short hair-er


Dear Rummy,

Don't you love it when people confirm what you know about your kids? I love it when people tell me Daughter is beautiful and Son is handsome, or when someone comments on them being well behaved. Makes me feel like I'm doing something right.

And I'm sure Child Rum is gorgeous. I would say so definitively, but I've never seen a pic.

A fellow Mommy

Peppergirl
06-08-2009, 04:35 PM
Dear Recently-shorn cs'ers,

Congrats on the new do's!!! :)

I am getting a much needed highlight and cut tomorrow.

The past several months I have been attempting to grow my layers out. The problem with this is that I have EXTREMELY thick hair. So much so that I have instructions to tell the receptionist to 'block extra time' when I call for an appointment! :lol:

I'm about at the end of my rope. I really wanna grow it out, but I just don't think I can take it anymore and I'll probably tell her to whack it all off tomorrow! :(

Elspeth
06-08-2009, 05:06 PM
Dear WaveBroadband

DIAMF!!!!!! Thank you for making where the hubby and I had to leave raiding last night because you couldn't work. I just love paying for a 6mb connection and getting 128k!!! Stop throttling us. We don't torrent. We might watch movie through Netflix but that is pretty much it. We would just like to be able to play Warcraft. We missed a Mimiron kill because of you bastards!!!!!!

Praying they up the speeds of DSL in our area soon


Dear life
Could we just be good for a bit, please?


Dear mailer sitting in my office that has to be done by Friday (only 1000)
Could you be a dear and fold, stuff and seal yourself? Thanks

Jack T. Chance
06-08-2009, 05:44 PM
Dear Elspeth;

May I humbly suggest that you and your hubby try switching to the wonderful world of OFFLINE RPGs that you can play over a LAN with each other?

I recommend the Neverwinter Nights games! I know MMORPGs give you constantly updated content, but the NWN community is one of the most active RPG communities there is! You will CONSTANTLY have new adventures that you can download and play... many for FREE, I might add... and you won't have to worry about your ISP ruining the experience for you! :D

Just a suggestion, For What It's Worth. :)

--A fellow RPG player

Elspeth
06-08-2009, 05:53 PM
Dear Jack T Chance,

Thank you for the suggestion. We are currently waiting for Diablo III to come out and I am getting interested in AION. This isn't a normal occurance. Wave sucks. They have oversold their bandwidth so with the children being released from school, they are throttling people, at least that is what we think is happening. It isn't just us this is happening too. This happened over Christmas break. Also we aren't giving up WoW anytime soon. We just might not be raiding a lot.

Plus we might be getting Sims3.

Thanks again for the suggestion. Will keep it in mind

Jack T. Chance
06-08-2009, 05:58 PM
Dear Elspeth;

My personal prediction: We will all be playing Diablo III sometime around 2012... probably in the latter half of the year. We will also have to upgrade our computers, or buy new ones, in order to run it. :rolleyes:

As for me... I really need to get back into playing NWN 2, as there's a newish expansion pack I haven't even installed, much less played! My Wood Elf Ranger has sat idle for far too long. :ashamed:

--Me

Becks
06-08-2009, 06:31 PM
Dear Irv,

I agree with you on the weather.

Holy biscuit.

Is it March or June?

And this will just offer more proof to the man of the household's father that WI is winter-like all year round.

Almost wishing she'd stayed in NJ,

Becks

crazylegs
06-08-2009, 06:31 PM
Dear Crazylegs,

Try washing your wonderful new jacket with a little liquid starch in the rinse cycle. When you wash it again, the dirt lifts right off when the starch washes out. You have to repeat it every time but it tends to work for me.

Meow,

Pepper

Dear Shpepper,

I would love to, but I don't know if it would affect either
a) The reflective properties adversly
b) The high viz properties adversely
c) The water proofing adversely

Regards

Crazylegs.

CaroPhoenix
06-08-2009, 08:11 PM
Dear Chuck E. Cheese,

Why do you have to show up at my daughter's school with stickers that read "10 Tokens" and now Child Rum wants to go there for dinner!?

It's a zoo and I'm not comfortable with her running all over the place while Mr. Rum sits there and looks bored.

:cry:
Rummy

BookstoreEscapee
06-08-2009, 11:13 PM
Dear Becks,

It's nice and breezy here...:D

They're predicting rain for later, though, and storms later in the week.

rubbing it in,
:p me

Shpepper
06-09-2009, 06:27 AM
Dear Shpepper,

I would love to, but I don't know if it would affect either
a) The reflective properties adversly
b) The high viz properties adversely
c) The water proofing adversely

Regards

Crazylegs.

Dear Crazylegs,

I didn't think of the waterproofing part. The rest it should not affect. But I don't know about the waterproofing.

Twas but an idea.

Meow,

Shpepper

Becks
06-09-2009, 05:07 PM
Dear BE,

You're evil.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil.

Part of your charm.

:love:,

Becks

BookstoreEscapee
06-10-2009, 12:01 AM
Dear Becks,

I learned from the Becks ... I mean, best!

:devil:
-be

Becks
06-10-2009, 04:05 AM
Dear BE,

:lol:

You're awesome!!

:D,

Becks