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iradney
10-14-2008, 09:37 AM
Dear Work

Please, for the love of deity, do not send me away from home for 3 straight weeks again! I miss my boyfriend, my dog, my bed, and I'm so horny I can barely think straight!
:cry:
rads

crazylegs
10-14-2008, 07:47 PM
Dear Of Montreal,

I appreciate the spiffy looking (and feeling) cardboard widget that encloses your latest musical creation, but next time would you be so knd as to not use as a spindle for the disk a piece of rubber that would be more suited to gripping delicate porcalain on an extremely slippery, oil covered surface. It is *insanely* difficult to remove the disk from the sleeve without damaging said sleeve.

Yours

Crazylegs.

the_std
10-14-2008, 11:51 PM
Dear City of Chicago,

:yourock: :love:

I am coming back ASAP.

So much love,
Me!

Shangri-laschild
10-15-2008, 06:28 PM
Dear Mom,

Your computer program blocks CS but not my very NSFW comics. Well...I guess that makes sense? Oh well.

Elspeth
10-15-2008, 06:39 PM
Dear Blizzard and WoW:

Give me back my pets!!!! Also could you make the server work tonight so I can level my druid. and I won't have to listen to the hubby go insane (laughing so hard my stomach hurt last night)

Thanks
Your little addicted one


Dear Irkariam admins

BITE ME YOU ()*&%#$ RAT #$)(*%#$(

Yours in hate

To Dell:

Please have that laptop I have my eye on in the outlet tomorrow when I get paid in stock!! It would cheer me up to have a little retail therapy.

The person drooling on the laptop with a bluray drive in it

Dear work

For the love of crap let me and the hubby have the 13 and 14 of November off.

Your slave

And to life in general:

Would you please stop sucking. I would like to come out of this depression and be happy again. I don't like to be this way.


Els

Becks
10-16-2008, 02:27 PM
Dear man of the household™,

You can live without your car for a few days. We're trying to help Mommy and Bella move.

Not one of Patty Moo's cars can't make the trip down there and back. Bear, Paul and Julie need theirs, and Paul and Bear are taking their own vehicles down this weekend to help. Julie needs hers because she has, you know, the children.

Suck it up. You have plenty of soda, milk, food and smokey treats. And God knows that if for some reason you go through all of that while I'm gone you'll end up going through mine, too. You always do.

Not fond of you at the moment,

me

RetailWorkhorse
10-16-2008, 03:02 PM
Dear United States Postal Service,

There are times that I really appreciate you, times I absolutely hate you, and times I ignore you because I don't get mail anyhow.

Right now is Time Number 2, the I HATE LOATHE AND DESPISE YOU!!!!!!! time. Would you like to know why? It's because Sister had dropped an envelope into the mail system that had a micro SD card filled with 30 or so games on it for my Nintendo DSLite and I have yet to receive it. I managed to get my EZ Flash from CHINA faster than this.

So please, come in today so's I can go back to playing Wild World because I've become quickly addicted and I have no computer on which to level up my Guild Wars Character (and I bet she's feeling pretty neglected right now, poor little Serra).

With an aggitated snarl,
Das Mel.

Misanthropical
10-16-2008, 05:07 PM
Dear doctors office,

I have been seeing a pain specialist for almost a year now, so what is with only giving out a one time referral? Did you really think that the pain I have had for over 20 years would suddenly stop and never come back? Please try to think before doing such goofy stuff. I don't like having to call and nag.

Oh, and the one pain specialist? Yeah, you should ignore his hallucinations. His notes are as far from reality as on can get and still be on planet Earth.


Dear BossMan's boss,

Could you please stop monopolizing his time? The people that work under him sometimes need his help and we don't want to interrupt what ever the hell you are talking to him about for hours at a time.


Dear family,

If you all don't start picking up after yourselves I will lose it on all of you and it won't be pretty! If I'm not happy, you won't be either! got it? good!

RetailWorkhorse
10-18-2008, 03:25 PM
Dear Fuzzy Slobbering Dog in the Sky,

The negativity my parents have been spewing forth, I fear, has slgihtly damaged my psyche. I feel that, since they feel like failures and pieces of shit, that I by association am one as well. The Truck hasn't sold yet, the hotdog cart is yet unfinished, and there is talk of staying here through another Winter.

The Move Date has been pushed back to Mid Spring, claiming time enough for Elder Litter Mate to locate and close on a house before the rest of the Pack descend on her (and, really, that will probably look very scary).

I try so hard not to have doubts, but I have great concern that if I make it through this Winter, I will not survive the next.

The Utter Hatred for the place in which I was born has caused me many a heartache and I only wish for the pain to be gone.

I will try, heart and soul, to survive the upcoming Snow Season, but there is much fear in me that I will not survive another year.

These may be the words of a madman, but I have no doubt that should I see Winter '09-'10, the shotgun hanging from the wall will find its way into my hands.

I was not, you see, built to withstand the force of very many Winters.

I keep wishing the quick death of my grandmother, and even quicker distribution of the inheritence and I know that that is not the feeling of someone of Righteous Worth. I recognize the greed fueling such thoughts that money, and a hefty amount of it to be sure, would make all the pain of this year go away. With this Recognition I know that I will never go to be with the Righteous Worth.

It has been such a hard year, for so many people, that I honestly have no idea how they do it.

I suppose they go the AA Route and just take it One Day At A Time. The mentality that I survived Today and will survive the coming morn.

It certainly explains why so many turn to religion. I turned to you, after all, if not for help than only to listen. I do not expect even that, really, though it would be appreciated. I know I'm not the best person in the world, in fact most of the time I'm a selfish person and a sucky cad to boot, but I do try to do right by you.

I know that asking you to give me strength and the energy to complete the tasks ahead of me is quite a bit for one such as myself, so I will not bother to plead. I will continue to let you know of my progress, though. Kind of like the person on your internet journal friend list that you don't talk to all the time, but appreciate general news on their going-ons and such. I haven't kept a daily log of things for years, really, so please excuse the amount of time between writings.

Please know that, even though you are no longer with me on a daily basis, that sometimes I will ignore you or abuse your name, that it's Human Nature, as much as I abhor being human would much rather be a Fuzzy One, that you will always be a vital part of me.

Kind of like the continuous loop of "Together Forever" by the Kingsmen that's always running through the back of my head, or the ticking of mt Mother's clock that's no longer on the wall. Those two are integrated into the fibre of my very being and, like you, will never really disappear.

So please forgive the absences, the mood swings, and abuse, and sometimes dislike that may be directed at you. I have difficulty expressing this jumble of emotions, even idenitying some of them, that it will not come out right every time.

For the heartache I will cause you, I apologize.
For the Sucess in the Future, I await with anticipation.
For today I have Survived and with the hope that I will Survive until the next Morn.
Have a great day. <3
~Melonius of Bladian Clan, Lesser Shinsuke Branch.

AdminAssistant
10-21-2008, 03:29 AM
Dear ex-roomie,

I am SO sorry. I want to tell you how wonderful you are, how the bitch that broke your heart doesn't deserve you, how much better than that you are, how you deserve someone better. But I know that's not what you want to hear. If you ever need me, I'm not far away. Please, please, don't fall into your self-destructive cycle.

*huuugs*

The Monica to your Rachel

Evil Queen
10-21-2008, 03:36 AM
Dear RW,

Did it come in yet?

-EQ

Greenday
10-21-2008, 04:37 AM
Dear Ex-Girlfriend,

I don't care that we are still really good friends. I don't care that I was the one who broke up with you. I broke up with you only a few weeks ago. Already you are dating some other guy, who you were already hesitant to date, and the only reason you are dating him is because you feel like he deserves a chance. And you expect me to give you relationship advice? Despite being a good friend, I'm still your ex-boyfriend. Not only do I not want to hear about anything with your new relationship, giving you relationship advice on your new relationship that's taking place only a few weeks after we broke up is something I will never do. Don't act so surprised at this concept.

Sincerely,

Greenday

RetailWorkhorse
10-21-2008, 03:53 PM
Dear RW,

Did it come in yet?

-EQ

Dear EQ,

Came in on Saturday, and have been playing My Sims like a man on fire. Am currently stuck on one part but I located a walk-through I can use. <3

Much dog slobbers,
Pup

Bella_Vixen
10-21-2008, 04:31 PM
Dear Becks and Mr. Becks--

Thanks for taking care of Rooks for the last few weeks for me. She looks great!

She misses you, though, so you have to come over for a visit.

Thanks again, from the bottom of my heart!

--Me


************************************************** *************

Dear collective family--

I'm sorry for being a bitch this weekend.

Thanks for helping us move.

Much love!

--Me

Becks
10-21-2008, 04:48 PM
Dear Lizziebeff,

You're welcome, and thank YOU for letting us have her for this while.

We miss her. It's quiet here, without her wanting it to be treat time 1-6 hours early. :lol: And my pillows are fur free. :(

Planning on stealing her back,

me and Mr. Becks

Misanthropical
10-21-2008, 05:04 PM
Dear people who use speaker phone and/or push to talk,

Stop with the annoying behavior! Everyone on the call floor doesn't need to hear your bullshit conversations!

If you won't stop at least make your conversations more interesting, something about how one of the higher ups was caught with an inflatable sheep or something.

Thanks


Dear little guy,

Okay, listen little one. I guess you haven't caught on to the fact that I will always win any argument. I'm the mom, I make the rules, mmkay?

You're lucky you're so cute! :kiss:


Dear BossMan,

I know I scare you when I use the "mom" voice, so if you even think of trying to get on me about what I said to Whiner, I will use it! I mean it!


Dear Whiner,

There will be no apology, so don't even think it. I know you were so use to people afraid of confrontation that they would just do what you wanted to get you to go away.

I don't give a mouse a cookie, know what I mean?


Dear political pollsters,

Stop ringing my doorbell! GO AWAY! I'm not going to tell you who I'm voting for, it's none of your business. If you wanted to know so bad you would at least know what my name is and not call me by my neighbor's name.

Oh, and stop putting your flyers in my door.

SorryIsGoodEnough
10-21-2008, 08:16 PM
Dear M.,

You're so generous. Thanks for offering to make my 21st spectacular. We're going to Vegas, mister!

Love,
Me.

Lace Neil Singer
10-22-2008, 10:30 AM
Dear Mid-life Crisis Man,

Thanks for giving me the biggest laugh I've ever had, by coming into the garage sporting a leather jacket, jeans and the worst skullet I have ever seen in my life. No, I wasn't sneezing; I was stifling a giggle. My advice; get a nice short cut which will disguise your receeding hairline far more than your present cut does.

Yours, the girl in the petrol station.

Evil Queen
10-22-2008, 10:40 AM
Dear pillow,

No, I haven't neglected you. I love you dearly and wish I was in your pillowy embrase. Hey, I have an idea. Get the blankets together, we'll have a private party when I get home. :eyewaggle: ;)

Tired because I've been up since 9am with a two hour nap,
-EQ
(it's now 5:40 am I'm ready to crack)

crazylegs
10-22-2008, 07:37 PM
Dear A,

You're struggling; I can see that, the boss can see it, everyone can see it.

The job is HARD but you're on a shift that is running at 1/3 its intended shift, things will get better, it will get easier. I promise

Regards

Crazylegs

Becks
10-23-2008, 03:12 AM
Dear guys working the Verizon kiosk,

Thanks for being so awesome, even after dealing with a partial invasion of the traveling lunatic asylum.

If you guys had a tip jar, I would've put some money in.

Oh, and thanks for not laughing because I got a cheap phone.

Hyper,

me

monolayth
10-23-2008, 03:37 AM
Dear lottery,

When will I win you?

Tired of work,

monolayth

Misanthropical
10-23-2008, 03:46 AM
Yeah, that! ^^^^^

Amethyst Hunter
10-23-2008, 03:57 AM
Dear Unnamed Family Member,

It has come to my attention that you have been 'talking smack' about me, as it were, in recent months. I know why you're doing it. I also don't care. I DO care that it appears as though you are trying to fuck with me. This displeases me. Cut it out, or you're going to find out just how much of a raging flaming psycho bitch I can be. Believe me, there's plenty of things I could find to rip on about you.

Annoyed, Your Relative

monolayth
10-24-2008, 03:30 AM
Dear work,

I have been asking for halloween off since august 2nd at 2:31pm.

I have not been given it off, I asked for a partial the other day but was denied because you have no hours to give that time. I tried asking co workers to work for me. I understand that you want to give me the time off and that my boss is throwing a hissyfit about this all but still. approve me! I am not going to stop till I have it off.

Several people have told me to just to call in sick, seeing as I have excellent attendance. I don't want to and I pretty much refuse to do that. I am trying to work with you on this, please work with me.

Counting down this last hour till im off (59 more mins!)
Monolayth

Misanthropical
10-24-2008, 03:56 AM
After reading monolayth's last post I have to add this one.

Dear BossMan,

Thank you for letting me take Halloween off, even if you think I'm doing it only for my children's sake. The fact is, Halloween is my all time favorite holiday and I like to dress up with the kids.

One year, before I was a mom, I dressed up as Elvira...uhh...wait..nevermind. Don't want the children to know that story...so forget I said anything. :o

Dear BossMan,

My cane is not a toy, stop playing with it or I will beat you with it! Of course, I have joked about beating a lot of people with it, so..uh..nevermind again.

Dear regular pain specialist,

I forgot to tell you how much you rock out loud. I hope you picked up on the fact that I think when I told you we would be driving out to see you every month.

Okay, so I didn't know the place you were going was located in the big town. I am not from here, so it wasn't nice of you and my own husband to laugh at me! :p

Thanks for the cool cane. BossMan is letting my friend park in the closer spots (not the handicap ones, but the ones set aside for medical problems that aren't as sever as full out handicap) so I don't have to walk as far.

Dear husband,

No, I didn't get the cane, so I could look as cool as House. I doubt his would have blue flowers on it! Stop or I will beat you with my cane or at least put on the list. :D

iradney
10-24-2008, 06:18 AM
Dear work

Thanks for not paying me on PAYDAY. My car is running on fumes, and now TTO has to catch a taxi from the airport because I will run out of gas before I get anywhere near it!

Also, I'm taking leave for a month start a week before Christmas. Approve it or else - the last time I took any significant amount of leave was in Jan/Feb of this year. I have 26 days of leave accrued that I have to take, and I don't care if you think you might land a big contract over the festive season. I have spent 3 months away from home so far this year because of you, I'm NOT spending Christmas away from my home and boyfriend.

DIAF
rads

smileyeagle1021
10-24-2008, 10:55 AM
Dear Mom,
Please stop going on the defensive any time I want to have a serious conversation about my life. No matter how bad or good the news may be it's not something that you should worry about. You say you feel that I'm not open enough with you, well maybe if you weren't always closing yourself off I'd be more comfortable with being open with you.

Sincerely,
your son

crazylegs
10-24-2008, 10:59 AM
Dear S

If you're flirting, or just being friendly let me know either way.

Ta Muchly

Crazylegs.

iradney
10-24-2008, 12:16 PM
Dear S (see above post)

If you have any sense, you would go for it!

Meddlingly yours,

Rads

smileyeagle1021
10-24-2008, 12:24 PM
Dear S,
listen to iradney, she knows what she's talking about

evesdroppingly yours,
smiley

SengaKitty
10-24-2008, 12:55 PM
Dear body,
Please decide what you want to do... I know I had a little rod stuck in you that makes all my hormones go whacky, but that doesn't mean you have to flip out.... If I'm pregnant let me know.. If I'm not, let me know... But please, if I am, don't get rid of the little miracle..... That's happened too many times and I don't think I could stand it again... I know the little rod was put there to prevent little miracles from happening... But if one does happen, I'd like it to stay... K?

Beggingly yours
RHPG

Evil Queen
10-24-2008, 01:34 PM
Dear M,

If I don't find out what the password is for the back computer, I will be very very pissed off.
You just wait until I figure it out and change the password on YOU. You big jerk.

Your worst computer nightmare,
-EQ



Dear Accountant,

Monies? No Monies?! Why no Monies?! Monies day today. Where Monies?!

Misanthropical
10-24-2008, 02:10 PM
Dear little guy,

Where's the love? How come I don't get goodbye kisses anymore? Do you think you are too old for that now? You're older brother still gives them. You not giving me goodbye kisses makes me a sad panda. :(

Dear weather,

Please don't be as cold as you have been the last few days on Halloween.


Dear husband,

You say some weird stuff in your sleep. What the heck was up with "you know I love you" last night? You better have been dreaming of me or I will give you a boot to the head.


Again, dear husband,

Have we not discussed why there are certain things that the name brand must be bought? So, what is up with getting the cheap toilet paper? I told you, it has to be the one with the bears on the package and to not accept any substitutes. Don't make have to wrap all that cheap toilet paper around you.


Dear people who call during the day,

Stop calling! I don't like to talk on the phone unless I'm at work. Oh, and if you call before 10 AM, I will give you a boot to the head over the phone! Do you hear that my daughter's best friend?


Dear lawn guys,

It was 30 degrees yesterday, so why on earth would be out there mowing the lawn? It was weird.


Dear coworkers,

Yes, I have a cane, stop making a huge deal about it. No, I don't really want to give all the details about why I have to use one now. It's not like a grew another head, so stop staring and asking a bunch of questions. Weirdoes.


Again dear coworkers,

Do you guys sniff all the Splenda up your nose? I mean seriously, the break room near us will have a large amount put out and it will be gone by the time the night shift comes in. Stop hogging all the Splenda!


Dear coworker I share the desk with,

You are one strange dude! In a good way. It always makes me laugh when I come in and find what weird things you have done with the toys I put on our desk.

draftermatt
10-24-2008, 03:41 PM
Dear knees,

Stop hurting so much. You were fine up until Wednesday.

Dear Cody,

You are a good dog, but what's with the chewing? I have to put you in the basement because everytime you are left to run free you chew up something. 2 remote controls, 2 teddy bears (that you thankfully didn't destroy) a toy tractor, a Swiffer duster, a coaster and lord only knows how many kleenex.

And please stop with the tearing insulation off the walls in the basement.

Imogene
10-24-2008, 04:20 PM
Dear Ex Roommate:
You leaving me in the lurch with the townhouse made my life that much worse, particularly now that I'm getting called every three days or so to be reminded, hey, I have to pay the rest of our contract for that townhouse, since they can't seem to get hold of you to update you on how you owe half of that nearly $7,000 debt. As if my credit score wasn't suffering enough from moving in with you? In the words of Achmed, "I Keel you!"


Dear debt collection agency:
I've as much as told you that the MOST I could conceivably pay monthly toward my debt would be $50. I have NOT yet gotten my first paycheck. I had no way of actually setting up a budget, particularly for a job that my schedule is extremely short. Telling me that wouldn't even be possible to put into the computer will NOT get me to up my estimate. I was guessing on the generous side since I HAD no basis to compare it to. Jobs are short here in Texas. Asking if I'd asked my parents for help? Pissed me off to no end. I knew the answer to that question before you even suggested it. A hint, when I told you the answer would be 'No.' Don't push harder for me to ask anyway. It's a waste of my time and yours. The answer's NO, F*ckhead! Don't call me two days after I got your info, thinking I'll have a solution already to paying off my debt. TWO WEEKS, minimum, for me to get my first paycheck, so I could set up a budget of some sort, would've been proper. Also, leaving messages on the answering machine that I NEED to call back by 6 PM, when I've given you all the possible options I've come up with already? What do I need to call you for? I want no more abuse from you about how I HAVE to pay off this debt. Yes, I know. But, my situation isn't one where I have much of an option there. And your pushy tactics are pushing you down on my list of 'Debtors I Owe first'. I had two credit cards, and a student loan payment that have been ignored since I moved to Fort Worth, and I WAS expecting to have a job when I moved down, which got blocked AFTER I moved!

Dear parents:
You told me all my little young life that I could grow up however I wanted, and you'd love me. So, when I admitted my big three secrets, and you reacted with incredulity, you shoved a huge ass wedge between us. THAT is why I moved to Fort Worth. Rocky Horror being near was just a perk. Your reasons for not wanting me to express myself ring terribly hollow. Worried your co-workers will ask weird questions...? What the hell? Tell them to man up and ask me their questions to my face. You KNOW I'm not one to skirt around answering direct questions. I don't give a shit what people think of me, and you know that, too.

Dear Dad:
Calling my sexual preference a case of, "You don't know what you're doing" was extremely crass. And referring to the period of my life where I went Lacto Ova Vegetarian, and then claiming I wasn't vegetarian, because I ate things most vegetarians wouldn't? Such as? Milk? Eggs? I refer to the first part of that 'vegetarian' subgroup I was living, 'Lacto ova'. Milk AND eggs!

Dear Dolly Parton:
Keep up the wonderful music. It's the only country music I'll listen to, excepting one CD by the Dixie Chicks. Your music keeps the peace between the sister in law (who ONLY listens to country) and I.

CaroPhoenix
10-24-2008, 05:05 PM
Dear Juwl,

I know this isn't much, but here: :hug:

Sincerely,
IDaR

smileyeagle1021
10-24-2008, 07:13 PM
Dear Juwl
:hug: and *hands out some cookies I stole from shuttle driver T*

and if it's any comfort I feel a lot of your pain, especially the roommate moving out part (though in fairness, TSO did have a fairly good reason).

Sincerely
Smiley

crazylegs
10-24-2008, 07:16 PM
Dear Rads,

Muchos Thanks for the compliment! :D

Crazylegs

monolayth
10-25-2008, 12:56 AM
Dear work,
Thank you for giving me the time off I want, even though it is tenative. I am happy to work the first half of my shift then leave. I know this all depends on call volume, but my super awesome manager just told me that the new trainee class will be out there taking calls that night. Which means call volume should be dropping!

Doing a happy dance,
Monolayth

BookstoreEscapee
10-25-2008, 01:20 AM
Dear lawn guys,

It was 30 degrees yesterday, so why on earth would be out there mowing the lawn? It was weird.

Dear Mis,

This morning my car was frosted over, and I passed a house on my way to work that had their lawn sprinkler going.
At 7:30 in the morning.

Equally puzzled,
BE

the_std
10-25-2008, 01:27 AM
Dear The Boy,

I still love you very much. I'm sorry that I had to hurt you. I'm sorry that we're over. But I couldn't do it anymore. There was too much bad and not enough good. This isn't a forever thing, I want you in my life. But it is permanent for now... Please don't bet on anything happening again. I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have.

I'm crying too... Don't think that I don't care.

Love,
Me

BookstoreEscapee
10-25-2008, 02:02 AM
Dear the_std,

:hug:

-be

the_std
10-25-2008, 02:21 AM
Dear BSE,

Thanks. It's been a hard month for me (parents split up, shitty job, had to move back home) and this on top of it really sucks. But I know I can always count on the awesome people here to help.

I love you guys! :D
Me.

Imogene
10-25-2008, 04:25 AM
Dear IDaR and SmileyEagle1021:
Thanks for the hugs and general well wishing. Glad to see that someone understands my pain.

SengaKitty
10-25-2008, 08:53 AM
Dear Body,

I hate you... How could you do this to me again?! Please stop hurting and let me try to forget......

Sad
RHPG

~~~~~~

Dear Deities
Why didn't you stop this? What did I do to deserve this? I know we weren't trying, and didn't want a baby until after we were married, but that didn't mean I wanted you to give me one and make me watch when you took it away..... Do you know how much that hurts? WHY? Why won't you let us live in peace?

Very very sad panda
me

~~~~~~

Dear whoever seems to have a vendetta,

Please stop sending negative energies my way. We can feel them, they are affecting our lives, and we've got enough sh*t going on, we don't need yours too. I'm pretty sure I know who you are. You've caused me enough hell, just go away! Just give me what I want and leave me the hell alone.... I really really never want to see you again, nor do I care any longer what happens to you.
Let us live our lives, let me try to rebuild what left I have of my spirit and my confidence... Let me get on without you, and let me GO already. I'm not your property, I didn't betray you. You betrayed me... Leave us alone...

No love
Me

Fenrus
10-25-2008, 09:07 AM
Dear...

This hurts more than I imagined it would. I know I gave you permission, but it hurts... I was hoping you wouldn't be like the rest, that you'd stay with me...

But I was wrong. I know you're upset, but I can't be there right now to help you... You broke my trust, you broke my heart. I don't know if things will be the same after this, or if I'll have to keep guessing who you'll be with when I'm at work. It hurts, it's terrible...

I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you, I'm sorry you had to go somewhere else for what you needed. You deserve better, I suppose...

~Broken

SengaKitty
10-25-2008, 09:14 AM
Dear Fenrus

:hug: Been there, it hurts.... know we're here for you.....

It does get better
Many hugs

RHPG

smileyeagle1021
10-25-2008, 09:23 AM
Dear Fenrus
I think I speak for all of CS (I can at least speak for myself) when I say we are all here for you if you need us. You know that I never sleep and can be called (almost) any time... I'm sure there are others on the thread who'd be willing to too.

Sincerely
Smiley

Becks
10-25-2008, 03:58 PM
Dear everyone,

*Ooooodles of hugs as needed (and cookies I got from EQ)*

Love,

me

crazylegs
10-26-2008, 01:09 PM
Dear self.

Next time grow a pair and ask her. What the worse that'll happen? (She'll say no, other than that...)

Yours annoyed

Crazylegs.

crazylegs
10-26-2008, 10:05 PM
Dear Rads (and smiley)

She was just being friendly, she's in a LDR.

Oh well.

Crazylegs.

smileyeagle1021
10-26-2008, 10:10 PM
Dear crazylegs,
I must be tired... can you fill me in on what I'm missing?

Dear co-irker,
please don't make me explain why I was grimacing on friday night every time you started talking about your views on homosexuals... if you can't figure it out on your own I don't think me explaining anything is actually going to help.

crazylegs
10-26-2008, 10:15 PM
Smiley,

Please note your input to this thread on 10-24-2008, 10:55 AM (BST)

Crazylegs

Evil Queen
10-26-2008, 10:19 PM
Dear self,

Bake more cookies. The ones in your Super Duper Secret Awesome Sprinkles and Rainbows Private Stash are quickly disappearing.


Dear <working hotel> Manager,

I will be a very angry Evil Entity if you change the schedule so that I'm working on both thursday AND friday. I can't do it. I won't do it. Since you scheduled me to work for my birthday I am having to wait until my next day off to have a party. That is Thursday. I am NOT changing these plans.
Since you were inconsiderate enough to plan me working Grave on Halloween Night... AFTER working a 10 hour shift at <broken hotel>. I'm sorry, but I made plans since it was originally my other day off as well. And there's no way in hell I'm going to work 10 hours there, drive an hour to Baytown and work an additional 8 hours just so I can be home AFTER midnight, NO LONGER HALLOWEEN during one of my favourite holidays.
No.

Still muchly pissed,
EQ

AdminAssistant
10-27-2008, 12:01 AM
Dear Dad,

You are seriously too old to be doing this. I know that you feel your 'obligation' is up, but dammit you still have two kids and now you have two grandkids and one day you'll have MORE grandkids, and dammit I want my kids to have the grandparents I didn't get to have.

I know that you think you're entitled to get randomly drunk all the time and yell and curse and get in your truck and drive around. You're not. I know you haven't had the best life. I know you didn't want to get married. I know you don't want to still be married. But Jesus H. Christ pull yourself together if for nobody else then ME. I would like to have some semblance of a family to go home to. And worrying about what stupid selfish thing you're going to do next isn't all that good for me up here.

And please, PLEASE, if you do decide to take off, wait until after Christmas. I'm finally excited about the holidays again. Mom, Sis, and me - it's the favorite time of year for all of us. If you're bound and determined to say 'F*CK You!' and ride off with a hooker and bottle of Jack, then fine. Just wait. Please.

~ Your Youngest

Mom,

Can you not see this? I hope for all of our sakes you have some kind of contingency plan. Big Sis doesn't have any extra room and I don't have any extra money. I hope you've been talking to your sisters. Please be careful. Honestly, I love him, but I don't know how you've tolerated this shit for 30 years.

~ Your very worried daughter

Sis,

Um, you're there. I'm not. Are you at least keeping an eye on these two? Oh, and asking for my address, making me think I was gonna get fun goodies in the mail and then realizing you gave MY address to a STRANGER so that I could help her kid with his Flat Stanley or whatever. Seriously? I don't have time to walk around with a paper man taking pictures, buying postcards, and all that crap.

For that matter, this goes to all of my family. I know I'm out of state, but the next Flat Stanley/elementary school project sent to me without my permission is going on an adventure through Mr. Paper Shredder. Mmkay?

Oh, and you know how I said I wouldn't get Niece glitter for Christmas? Yeah. And you don't even want to KNOW what I'm planning for Monster. I shall exact my revenge. Mwahaha! :devil:

crazylegs
10-28-2008, 08:48 PM
Dear S.

You're still being very friendly/flirty, especially to someone you've only known for 3 weeks..., facebook messages, texts and chat. Does your chap know you chat to other chaps his much?

Yours confused

Crazylegs.

iradney
10-29-2008, 10:20 AM
Dear Pooks

Maybe S is just naturally very friendly? Heaven knows I've been accused of flirting when I'm actually just friendly...

I still love ya though *squishies*

B

smileyeagle1021
10-29-2008, 11:53 AM
Dear managers
Why the hell did you tell me that you ask me what hours I'd like to work if you were planning on just ignoring it and working around Pizza Boy's schedule anyway?

Dear self
Stop torturing yourself.

sincerely
smiley

AdminAssistant
10-29-2008, 10:59 PM
Dear student,

The funny thing about movie adaptations of plays is that they sometimes change the characters' names. Ain't that odd? You idiot, did you not think I'd figure it out? At this point, you should just drop the class because I really REALLY don't want to deal with a student like you who obviously has no respect for the material or the instructor. By the way, Intro to Film is offered. You should totally check that out.

~ One angry GTA

Dear Former Insurance Agent,

Besides putting my parents on MY insurance policy, you're now requiring a signature to cancel it - because I found a MUCH cheaper rate through the same company but a different agent? And don't act all huffy because I don't have access to a fax machine. Seriously, I should not have to ask my parents to handle this. But I do. You suck.

~ Moi

Dreamstalker
10-30-2008, 10:16 PM
Dear Asstastic Woman on the T:

I have no idea how someone as smartly dressed as you can smell like a dumpster in July. I really don't.

This train isn't even near half full, and there are many other seats. Why do you see the burning need to stand right next to me? I don't do well with drastic temperature changes to start with, now I get your presence. Don't even start glaring at me when I try to make my point by coughing...seriously, how can you not smell yourself? The fact that before the train emptied out, nobody else would stand near you should be a clue.

Go die kthx,

D

draftermatt
10-31-2008, 11:39 AM
Dear Boss,

I brought my camera on Wednesday, and you told me only to take pictures of certain things for the people requesting them, and not e-mail them until Friday (today). So I did.

Then yesterday you told me to come downstairs and take pictures? I didn't have my camera. You never asked me to bring it today, and since I'm not pshyic, and had a very busy night last night, I didn't think to bring it today. So of course now you are irritated that I didn't bring it.

Hey! If you want to take pictures why don't you buy a camera for the company use? Why do you always rely on me to bring in my camera? Why should I have to bring in my camera and get it covered in dust and grimed from that shit hole you call a plant?

Evil Queen
10-31-2008, 01:23 PM
Dear Locals,

Someone please buy my car! :cry: I'm tired of trying to sell it! I just want a little extra cash! Come on!

-EQ

Shangri-laschild
10-31-2008, 01:58 PM
Dear Knee,

The pain thing? Yeah, that's not allowed. It needs to be going away now. Between work now and working the overnight tonight I would appreciate it if you would go away.


Dear guy at the car rental place,

Thank you for not laughing at me when we realized that I had gone to the completely wrong company when trying to pick up my rental car. Also, thanks for chatting with me while I waited to get picked up. I'm definitely going to have to look at those books you suggested, though I wish I had had time to get your number :( oh well. Maybe we'll run into each other again sometime.

Lace Neil Singer
10-31-2008, 08:21 PM
Dear Twitard,

Guess what? Harrassing me thru PM is not going to change my mind about how crappy the books are. However, it will get you a ban from the forums for get this, harrassment. I suggest you go read the rules; well, they're better written than the dross you like.

(Note: This person does NOT POST HERE. Thank goodness.)

Evil Queen
10-31-2008, 09:52 PM
Dear Lace,

Sounds like something similar that happened to me. Pick your favourite mod and forward the messages to him/her/it. That'll take care of it for ya.

Been there, done that,
-EQ



Dear Mommy,

I feel :cry:. I can has :hug: please? The SO hates me and LoML wants to move in but I'm afraid The SO would leave me if he did.
I know I'm not the type that tends to need anyone. But The SO makes me much happier then if I was by myself.
I miss you and Dad. But I has no monies to see you guys again. I wish 2008 didn't such as hardcore as it does.

Hoping 2009 is a lot better,
-AMS

Eric the Grey
11-01-2008, 09:29 AM
Dear D;

They say that "good things come to those who wait." I've waited 45 years to find you, and now that I have nothing is going to make me let you go. Regardless of how much of a "bother" you feel you are being, I'm helping you because I love you.

The bad times are almost over, and things will only get better after this. Be patient a little longer. One of these days I WILL marry you.

With all my love.


John

iradney
11-01-2008, 12:29 PM
Dear Eric the Grey


Awwww! That is so romantic and thoughtful!!!
Sending you and D many happy thoughts

Rads

smileyeagle1021
11-01-2008, 01:42 PM
Dear John,
for some reason I thought your name was Eric (i'm not sure what would have given me that idea :rolleyes: :lol: ) and I'll agree with Rads, very romantic.

Dear Mom,
We need to talk, please let me know when you are feeling well enough.

Sincerely

Smiley

monolayth
11-01-2008, 03:00 PM
Dear lungs,

WTF??? you were fine till I left the party. You made sleeping hard to do. Well in an hour I can go pick up thast script to make you happier, but seriously. I want more sleep!

Annoyed,
the person your supposed to give air to.



Dear self,
just now when I look down at my hands I have come to realize that while sleeping I switched which had wears the garnet ring. Why?and furthermore, how?

Confused,
Monolayth

Misanthropical
11-01-2008, 03:46 PM
Dear husband,

I do not like it one tiny bit that you are looking for a second job. I understand why, but I barely see you as it is and that makes me a sad panda.


Dear "kids" that are 17 years old,

Don't you think you are a little too old to be trick or treating? My big guy is 15 and stayed home, because he knew he is too old for that.

Yes, you guys got the crappy candy. The good stuff was for the little kids, deal.


Dear woman who gave my little guy candy last night,

Yup, we thought it was the height of hilarity that you called us both gimps. My little guy hurt his toe pretty good the other day, so he limps a bit because it still hurts. I use a cane and limp a bit too, so yes, you are observant.

You were the only one who mentioned it, I guess the other neighbors have more class.


Dear Amityville 4,

My big guy and I watched this so called "horror movie" last night, thinking it would be scary. Instead, we goofed on it the whole time we were watching it. There was nothing scary about it at all.

We thought that Patty Duke (one of the actresses in the movie) should have thrown the youngest kid over the cliff and called it a day.

RetailWorkhorse
11-01-2008, 03:59 PM
Dear Mommy,

I feel :cry:. I can has :hug: please? The SO hates me and LoML wants to move in but I'm afraid The SO would leave me if he did.
I know I'm not the type that tends to need anyone. But The SO makes me much happier then if I was by myself.
I miss you and Dad. But I has no monies to see you guys again. I wish 2008 didn't such as hardcore as it does.

Hoping 2009 is a lot better,
-AMS

Dear EQ,

Does "LoML" stand for "Love of My Life" because that's what I read that as. :p

-Daz Mel


Dear Body,

WAKE UP SO YOU CAN GO TO WORK! Stop getting migraines in the morning! Stop going thorugh Puberty! There is a REASON I'm a Late Bloomer and that is to AVOID all these.....icky things.

-Daz Mel again


Dear Pup I don't have yet,

Just a little longer, bambino. Just a little longer. I'm cleaning up the cabin so you can have someplace to play and not chew on anything for the days I can't drag you to work. You will be trained, hopefully, to be my therapy pup and keep a close eye on my diabetes. Please just hold on for me a little longer.

-Your big brother with the two legs.


Dear Boardsmembers,

Uh....don't freeze your English muffins and thaw them out in the microwave. they get really.......chewy.

-Ar-Dubya


Dear Computer that should be in the mail because EQ's SO called me about my address,

Please please PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE FUZZY DOG IN THE SKY DO NOT COME TO ME BROKEN.

-Your Slave in waiting

Evil Queen
11-01-2008, 04:03 PM
Dear EQ,

Does "LoML" stand for "Love of My Life" because that's what I read that as. :p

-Daz Mel


Dear Mel,
Yes.
-Your big sis.

Dear Mel again,
The SO called you? When? (I'm at work now)
Curious,
-EQ

RetailWorkhorse
11-01-2008, 04:05 PM
Dear Mel,
Yes.
-Your big sis.

I KNEW IT! And I know who it is, too! :roll:

Dear Mel again,
The SO called you? When? (I'm at work now)
Curious,
-EQ

Around 11am Thursday morning. He called for my address to send the computer. I assumed he was at the UPS Store. In my stupidity, I didn't ask, though.

Evil Queen
11-01-2008, 04:07 PM
Das Mel,
He may have been getting shipping quotes.
WE're going out today so I'm going to make sure it gets shipped today (coz it's still in the living room)
Irritated because it's taking so long,
-EQ

RetailWorkhorse
11-01-2008, 04:08 PM
Das Mel,
He may have been getting shipping quotes.
WE're going out today so I'm going to make sure it gets shipped today (coz it's still in the living room)
Irritated because it's taking so long,
-EQ

It's....*blinks* Still in your living room?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :cry:

monolayth
11-01-2008, 04:10 PM
Dear lungs,

Yay! your working again! although it took appeasing you with albuterol.

happily breathing,
your albuterol supplyer.

smileyeagle1021
11-01-2008, 05:22 PM
Dear fast acting tylnol,
I took you 15 minutes ago... WHY THE HELL IS MY HEADACHE JUST AS BAD AS BEFORE?!?!?!?!

Sincerely
Oh God, just kill me now

Lace Neil Singer
11-01-2008, 07:01 PM
Dear Lace,

Sounds like something similar that happened to me. Pick your favourite mod and forward the messages to him/her/it. That'll take care of it for ya.

Been there, done that,
-EQ


Dear EQ,

Done and done. There is going to be one seriously butthurt Twitard soon. XD

XD


Dear RetailWorkhorse,

You stretched the screen! O.o You monster!

XD

Misanthropical
11-01-2008, 09:34 PM
Dear lungs,

Yay! your working again! although it took appeasing you with albuterol.

happily breathing,
your albuterol supplyer.

Dear monolayth,

Yes, albuterol and symbicort work wonders to help the lung work better.


Dear people who I have no idea where you live,

What is the purpose of drivng your children all the way over to my neighborhood for trick or treating? Is your neighborhood that bad? If it is I would suggest trying to change it.

We have neighbors who refuse to hand out candy anymore, because it's not the neighborhood kids coming by, it's kids from two towns over that no one knows.

Yes, we have seen you all come in on a bus, that you must have hired yourself, since the bus doesn't stop in our neighborhood.

You come to the door with your kids, who are rude and try to grab the candy away from me without a word. That's not happening. No, I won't give the parents candy, go buy your own or do what I do, ask my children for some of theirs.

AdminAssistant
11-01-2008, 10:46 PM
Dear neighbors,

Parties until 2 am last night, and now parties all afternoon? Halloween I get, but I'm assuming this has something to do with the beating we just dealt KState? Well, that's fine, but your music is freakin' annoying and if ANY of you f*ckers take one of my parking spaces again I'm calling my landlord.

~ Cranky Neighbor Who Has Homework on the Weekends

Dear Guy I met on Internets,

Holy Crap! I was expecting us to just meet for quick drinks - but you got reservations at one of the nicest and most expensive restaurants in town. :eek: Seriously - does this place have a dress code? Um...color me...shocked?

*deep breath*

~ Moi

crazylegs
11-01-2008, 11:04 PM
Dear RW

What have you done to the screen...?

crazylegs
11-01-2008, 11:29 PM
Dear E

You've had quite possibly the most horrific day at work I can imagine, make sure you talk to someone. Please.

Crazylegs

SorryIsGoodEnough
11-02-2008, 01:25 AM
Dear M.,

I'm sorry I'm psychotic, and emotionally fucked up to the point where an adult relationship isn't possible.

You're too good for me. I've said it since the day I met you.

And now, I think you realize it too. When you break up with me, and you will, I know it, I hope you know how much I'll miss you.

Love,
H.Baby.

BookstoreEscapee
11-02-2008, 01:30 AM
Dear EQ,

Is "AMS" your initials? They're my initials, too.

:D
~be

CaroPhoenix
11-02-2008, 01:33 AM
Dear Child,

Your room smelling like a Permanent Marker Factory is not a good thing. Why did you grab the marker when I wasn't looking? I already smacked your hand and talked to you about not touching it earlier.

And do not shut your bedroom door in my face! You'll be in that much more trouble beacause of it!

Plus, you're 5 years old ... No sassin' your Momma! :p

Where's the Rum?
Your Mommy

------------------------------------
Husband,

It's obvious you want to spend time with your parents. Why should Kelly & I interfere with that? You even want to go to church!

You know how hard it is driving to your parents' house with you & me handling Kelly. I'd be by myself driving down there.

Besides, you have to do laundry and you have a class at 2 PM. There's too much on your plate.

No whining,
I know you don't really miss me ... yet,
Your Wife

Evil Queen
11-02-2008, 04:42 AM
Dear EQ,

Is "AMS" your initials? They're my initials, too.

:D
~be

Dear BSE,

Yep! I made the same comment some time ago when you told us what your screen name on PlanetFeedBack was but I guess you missed it. No biggie! :)

-EQ
Secretly known as AMS.

RetailWorkhorse
11-02-2008, 02:50 PM
Dear RetailWorkhorse,

You stretched the screen! O.o You monster!

XD Dear Lace,

I AM MONSTER PONY! GRR!!!

:roll:

-RW

Dear RW

What have you done to the screen...?

Dear Craze,

I admit to nothing. Nothing.

-RW

Evil Queen
11-02-2008, 03:23 PM
Dear RW,

Thursday.

Much love,
-EQ

RetailWorkhorse
11-02-2008, 03:56 PM
Dear EQ,

Thursday? This Thursday? Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure? Because I ordered this computer way back in July and the first one flopped. Can you get a tracking number?

Or is this about the care package of cookies?

Feeling F.I.N.E (fucked up, insecure, neurotic, emotional),
RW

Evil Queen
11-02-2008, 04:12 PM
Yes. Thursday. Very important for computer goodness. I am absolutely sure. But I'm at work and don't have the tracking number with me. :ashamed:

Much love,
-EQ

Misanthropical
11-02-2008, 04:31 PM
Dear husband,

I told you about the apointments three months ago, so don't be yelling at me now for it that you can't take two days off from work.

I told you then they couldn't make both appointments on the same day. Next time the boys need appointments, you make them! If I do it, I'm going to do it in such a way as to piss you off, that way you will have a reason to yell at me for it.


Dear leg,

Please, for the love of God, stop hurting all the time. I can only take Motrin for you during the day, unless I want to sleep the day away by taking the stronger medication.

I would at some point like to be able to walk without the cane, so please heal up for me.


Dear daughter,

I'm not a big meanie face for telling you to do the dishes before going outside to run around with your friends. It was your turn and I make the same demand on the boys when it's their turn.

Also, I told you not to take your cell phone to school and you went behind my back and asked your dad (since he is the push over) and he said it was fine. So, I don't feel all that the bad that you lost it. Yes, you will be paying for the replacement out of your own money.

RetailWorkhorse
11-02-2008, 04:35 PM
Yes. Thursday. Very important for computer goodness. I am absolutely sure. But I'm at work and don't have the tracking number with me. :ashamed:

Much love,
-EQ

Dear EQ,

I love ya, Sis, I love ya!

Waiting with antisi-PATION,
RW

Misanthropical
11-02-2008, 05:26 PM
Dear big guy,

If you don't stop nagging me to make French Toast I will rip your lips off.

Love,
Mom

RetailWorkhorse
11-02-2008, 05:55 PM
Dear Mis,

Why don't Big Guy just make the French Toast himself?

-RW

Misanthropical
11-02-2008, 06:10 PM
Dear RW,

I told him that I would make it some time today, so he didn't have to worry about cooking it.

He has been bugging me for it since 15 minutes after I woke up. I finally made it, so he has calmed down and I won't have to rip his lips off.

RetailWorkhorse
11-02-2008, 06:17 PM
Dear Mis,

You're a better Mum than i'd have been. After 20 minutes of nagging I'd have told him to fix it himself or not have any.

But then I don't like many kids, teens or otherwise.

-RW

Misanthropical
11-02-2008, 06:38 PM
Dear RW,

I think my kids are pretty cool, it's other people's kids that I don't like. :p

Misanthropical
11-02-2008, 07:59 PM
Dear grandma,

You have a lot of fucking nerve writing me to tell me that you feel deserted by me sometimes. Let's go to our way back machine and see who deserted who, shall we?

Every year when I was a little girl, my grandmother who loved me more than life itself, would never turn her back on me for any reason, would send off for me to spend the summer with her.

Every year, she would call you to see if you wanted to see me, you never did, you were much too busy with your husband/fuck buddy of the month.

When I called you because I had no money for food, had nothing to eat and was going to be short on my rent, you told the operator (I called collect) that you do not take calls from me. All because my mother could do no wrong in your eyes, so you believed the lie she told you about me stealing her money. I wasn't even in the same state as her! Guess who sent me money, even though I was a monster to her at times? Yes, my other grandmother. There was nothing I could do so bad that she would have ever turned her back on me and she would not have taken someone else's word for it either.

When I called to tell you my other grandmother died, I almost slammed the phone down and cut you out of my life, because all you did was run her down. I got news for you, she had more class in her little finger than you do in your whole body.

When I told you I was no longer speaking to my mother for reasons different than the above one, you tried to get me to make up with her, even though you knew how very evil and nasty she had been to me. It wasn't till she made up stuff about you and your husband that suddenly no one should talk to her.

You are the one who always deserted me, not the other way around, honey.

Me not responding to your racist and/or debunked emails does not equal deserting you. It would take years for me to catch up to you on the deserting front.

Oh, and your sugar daddy is not my grandfather, so stop calling him that, mmkay? My one and only grandfather died 3 years ago.

smileyeagle1021
11-02-2008, 08:42 PM
Dear Mom,
Damn you, damn you... if only you knew how much those words hurt me, and if only I had the courage to tell you why they hurt me. And damn myself for still caring enough about you to not tell you because I know how much it will upset you. And damn you God for making both of us the way we are so we are in this situation to begin with. Damn it all. :cry:

signed,
(not so) Smiley

Evil Queen
11-02-2008, 09:09 PM
Dear Smiley,

Do you want me to hold your hand while you talk to your Mom? I can if you want me to.

Much appreciation,
-EQ



Dear RW,

Thanks for spending hours on end talking to me today via AIM! :D I missed talking to you and I'm sorry I work so much that I just can't find the time to talk to you on the phone.

Love ya much,
-Big Sis

smileyeagle1021
11-02-2008, 09:13 PM
Dear EQ
Thank you... I may have to take you up on that offer.

Smiley

Evil Queen
11-02-2008, 09:15 PM
Dear Smiley,

You're welcome dear. I'm here anytime.

-EQ

BookstoreEscapee
11-02-2008, 10:50 PM
Dear EQ,

I don't remember. :D

~be

iradney
11-03-2008, 05:47 AM
Dear Smiley

*HUGS*

Love,
Rads

smileyeagle1021
11-03-2008, 06:18 AM
Dear Rads,
Thank you, I needed that

Sincerely,
Smiley

PS- RW was quoting Scott Adams.

RootedPhoenix
11-03-2008, 08:39 AM
Dear Smiley,

I'm sorry your mom's being so maddening. :( (I have that problem with my grandparents all the time.) :hug: <--you can have as many of these as you need.

Here's a plate of gyoza (fried dumpling thingies) for you.

Shangri-laschild
11-03-2008, 12:56 PM
Dear J,

Thank you for not getting shot on your first outting as a SWAT officer. Also, I should probably thank you for not shooting anyone, even if they were being dumb by carrying around toy guns when there had been a shooting threat. Also thanks for letting me use the computer the other day and ramble on about red hair this morning when you were too sleepy to really be actually awake.

Bectar

RetailWorkhorse
11-03-2008, 03:09 PM
Dear Mom,
Damn you, damn you... if only you knew how much those words hurt me, and if only I had the courage to tell you why they hurt me. And damn myself for still caring enough about you to not tell you because I know how much it will upset you. And damn you God for making both of us the way we are so we are in this situation to begin with. Damn it all. :cry:

signed,
(not so) Smiley

Dear Smiles,

......I'll make you the same offer I give to Flea-Bit alla time. I have a boat and a shotgun and I know where to dump the bodies.

Feel better? :D
-RW


Dear RW,

Thanks for spending hours on end talking to me today via AIM! :D I missed talking to you and I'm sorry I work so much that I just can't find the time to talk to you on the phone.

Love ya much,
-Big Sis

Dear Big Sis,

No problem, the only thing that suffered was my tummy got grumbly and I didn't unbury the couch. :p

Sooooo....got any idea how to make oven-french-toast like Alton did? Because I tried with what I could remember and it didn't come out right.

-Your Baby Bro


PS- RW was quoting Scott Adams.

Dear Smiles,

I was? I thought I was quoting Opus. And Dr. Frankenfurter (GUESS WHAT I HAVE ON DVD!!!!!).

-RW

smileyeagle1021
11-03-2008, 04:11 PM
Dear Smiles,

......I'll make you the same offer I give to Flea-Bit alla time. I have a boat and a shotgun and I know where to dump the bodies.

Feel better? :D
-RW

slightly better... I'll send a PM with details on what's going on... if for no other reason than to get EQ off my back ;)

RetailWorkhorse
11-03-2008, 04:29 PM
slightly better... I'll send a PM with details on what's going on... if for no other reason than to get EQ off my back ;)

Anything to make people laugh, my friend.

-Daz Mel

CaroPhoenix
11-03-2008, 05:19 PM
My beautiful darling child:

Yes, I'm sure Mommy would be even more huggable if she were even rounder than she is now, but please for the love of Satin ... eat your pizza slices & don't leave them for me! I order pepperoni pizza for you so you can eat the pepperoni on the pizza, thereby eating the entire slice. No more removing the pepperoni and then handing me the naked, cheese covered slice!

Yours,
Growingly,
Mommy

-----------------------------------------
Dear Vocelli Pizza,

Chicken Florentine Panini. Yummy! It's delicious! OMG!!! I'm in love with food again!

Your biggest fan,
IDaR

Elspeth
11-03-2008, 06:34 PM
Dear Body

Please for the love of gord stop hurting! I am sorry I sit a lot but I have to work and when I get home, I need to beat up pixels so I don't kill my co workers

Thanks in advance.

Dear next Thursday and Friday

Would you get here already? I am looking forward to having days off. I don't get many days with my mommy and we are going to a scrapebooking show, I have Christmas cards and gifts I really need to do. Plus I will have one whole day of gaming planned.

Tired and grumpy gamer who misses time with my mommy

Lace Neil Singer
11-03-2008, 07:21 PM
Dear liver,

I am giving you five days notice of the massive, pay day celebratory drink fest I'm planning on Friday. Don't let me down.

Lyger
11-03-2008, 08:31 PM
Dear Senator Obama,

Please please please PLEASE win the presidential election tomorrow. It's not just that I support you and your policies, but I cannot take any more of this racist crap from some members of the general public about how you are a terrorist and secret Muslim and Kenyan radical Nazi baby-eater. Please, PLEASE, show me that running all these evil, nasty, baseless attack ads and being a bully and doing nothing but talking a big game and smearing your opponent while doing next to nothing... please show me that it's not the way to win. I'm trying to get some hope back here.

Love,
Lyger

Evil Queen
11-03-2008, 08:48 PM
slightly better... I'll send a PM with details on what's going on... if for no other reason than to get EQ off my back ;)

You're mean. :cry: I offer up my help and this is the thanks I get?? See if I ever crank call YOU at work again. :cry:

-EQ

SengaKitty
11-04-2008, 12:34 AM
Dear Mac,

Please start working again... I use you alot to keep in contact with friends and family, and to destress, before AND after work... Why did your keyboard just stop functioning?? WHY??? And why only the number, "h" "y" and +/= keys?? Please start working again!!!

Beggingly Yours
RHPG

Familytradition
11-04-2008, 12:56 AM
Dear stoners in drive through.

Yes I went to school with you, yes I now work here. I left you behind years ago when I moved cities, I don’t need your shit and anymore please place your order and fuck off now.

smileyeagle1021
11-04-2008, 05:49 AM
You're mean. :cry: I offer up my help and this is the thanks I get?? See if I ever crank call YOU at work again. :cry:

-EQ

Oh no... I do appreciate your help... besides... you know if I worded that different it would give way too much away to the board in general...

Besides, I know how much you love harassing me at work... you should harass my trainee as well.

PhotoChick
11-04-2008, 02:46 PM
Sooooo....got any idea how to make oven-french-toast like Alton did? Because I tried with what I could remember and it didn't come out right.


Dear RW,
Here's the receipe. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/french-toast-recipe/index.html It's very, very, very yummy.

RetailWorkhorse
11-04-2008, 03:12 PM
Dear PhotoChick,

I love ya, PC, I love ya!

-RW

Evil Queen
11-05-2008, 12:43 AM
Dear Forumites,

Who else is happy the stupid American Election is over? :bounce:

-EQ

Cat
11-05-2008, 01:24 AM
Dear mate,


It's been 1.5 years. Please tell your parental units we are dating.


Thank you

Evil Queen
11-05-2008, 03:02 AM
Dear Cat,

A year and a half and the mate's parents still don't know? Time to reconsider your dating options.

-EQ

smileyeagle1021
11-05-2008, 03:03 AM
Dear EQ... Hawaii hasn't turned in it's results yet... so technically not over yet...

-edit- after looking at CNN... yup... it's pretty much over... but you know what I meant.

Evil Queen
11-05-2008, 03:05 AM
Dear Smiley,

But Texas, where I currently reside, has. So :p

-EQ

Edit: Smiley, Hawaii voted for Obama.

Source here: http://www.npr.org/news/specials/election2008/2008-election-map.html#/president?view=race08

smileyeagle1021
11-05-2008, 03:44 AM
Edit: Smiley, Hawaii voted for Obama.

Source here: http://www.npr.org/news/specials/election2008/2008-election-map.html#/president?view=race08

dear EQ,

did you notice the 0% reporting... that's the projected winner :p (even though we can probably trust those projections... NPR has been pretty accurate).

Evil Queen
11-05-2008, 04:05 AM
Yes, NPR is rather accurate. Hawaii is so voting Obama.

Now, who's ready to start the EQ for Supreme Ruler vote? :D

smileyeagle1021
11-05-2008, 07:41 AM
Dear Self,
What the HELL were you thinking.

Smiley

iradney
11-05-2008, 08:53 AM
Dear Smiley

Eh?

Rads

Dear TTO

I adore you so much, and you know it. I adore your mother too, so please keep me up to date on what's happening with her ok? I miss you, and hope you and your sis enjoy your family time.

Love you very much
Your HeartMate

Bella_Vixen
11-05-2008, 04:44 PM
Sweetie--

I can't believe you did this to me.

:cry:

smileyeagle1021
11-05-2008, 04:48 PM
Dear Rads,

I'm asking myself why the hell I posted that Prop 8 thread in fratching...

cheers,
smiley

Evil Queen
11-05-2008, 05:44 PM
Dear Life,

Okay, No, I'm sorry. I can't take it anymore. You thoroughly suck. Like RW I've had a very very hard time getting over the death of my dog. It's been a year and a half and I'm still hurting. I hate you.
But what really hurts the most is the shelters want $300 for a dog! Yes, I understand it's to cover costs of getting them fixed and microchipped but come on! It's just a dog and NO! I don't want something small and yippy, I want a BIG dog because those dogs tend to not get adopted. Yet you want me to shell out an additional wad for the larger animals you just can't get rid of?
I was always told life was unfair but Life. You just plain suck. I hope you DIAF.

NOT sincerely you big meanie,
-EQ

Shangri-laschild
11-05-2008, 07:01 PM
Dear key cutting machine,

M taught me how to use you. Admitably it was months ago, but I found your manual and managed to figure out how you work. So why the hell won't you work?? The only time you started to work is when I accidently switched keys, so my original somehow got screwed up (how I don't know since the blank should have meant no cutting was done at all). M's not back till Monday. JS was there and he couldn't make you work despite doing what's worked in the past. Damn you.

SengaKitty
11-05-2008, 08:10 PM
Dear EQ,

If it were in Louisville, one could get a big dog for lots less :D

and I am ecstatic election time is over

Me

CaroPhoenix
11-05-2008, 09:00 PM
Dear Child,

We just ate food from Burger King for dinner! We are NOT getting McDonald's food now for dinner.

I really don't want to be any larger than I am now. :cry:

Now stop getting growth spurts and fill up those hollow legs of yours so you're not hungry all the time! :angel:

Yours lovingly,
Mommy

----------------------------------
Hubs,

Sorry I missed your phone call. Please call me tonight. I do miss you. :cry:

Love you,
Mrs. Rum

monolayth
11-05-2008, 10:49 PM
Dear people who call me at work,

Could you please try to not piss me off?

Annoyed,
Monolayth

Cat
11-05-2008, 10:52 PM
Dear One Eyed Cat,

Please stop eating yr food so fast, this is why you vomit. And why I need hardwood floors.

CaroPhoenix
11-05-2008, 11:49 PM
Dear Cat,

I completely understand your letter to your cat as both of mine (but mainly my boy) is guilty of this too. And yes, as soon as I have the $$, I'm getting hardwood floors. :D

Commiserating,
IDaR

AdminAssistant
11-06-2008, 04:49 AM
Dear BoyThing,

Wait...I have a boything? Yay, BoyThing! *snuggle*

Sorry if I can't spend a lot of time with you...but my life is just...and this is just...and, well. Yeah. Thanks for understanding.

The fact that you may be getting a cat soon is very awesome. So...I get a boy and a kitty to play with? All at once? Really?

:D

~ Moi

protege
11-06-2008, 12:49 PM
Dear Kitties,

Was it really necessary to drop all of your fuzzy toys in the water dish? I mean, as playful as that is, I really don't want to listen to you two whine when I have to put the toys up to dry out...

--Pro

RetailWorkhorse
11-06-2008, 02:47 PM
Dear Humane Society,

Thank you for running the last panel of Opus like you did. It was greatly appreciated. However, in the search for your address (I supplied .com rather the proper .org) I have found a whole lot of idiots rather upset about not finding the last panel on the Canada site. Just OI right there. People. Holy Mother of Pearl.

-RW
One of your Supporters and soon Fund Raisers


Dear Local Adoption People (....and Fuzzy Dog In The Sky),

For the love of all that is holy, please, one of you get your hands on a Borzoi. That's the best dog breed for me, according to the Animal Planet test. So, please. She doesn't even have to be a purebreed (I could do without the health problems), but as I loved, adored, and basically worshiped a half-bred, please get me someone to love so I have reason to get up out of bed in the morning. Winter is coming and I get S.A.D every year, and I could do without the suicidal tendecies (sp?) that come with it.

Truly Appreciative,
Das Mel

Evil Queen
11-06-2008, 03:47 PM
Dear Melonious,

Animal Planet doggie test? Might there be a linky for the petless sister to click?

-EQ

monolayth
11-06-2008, 06:18 PM
dear, RW
I want the link too!

love, monolayth

Evil Queen
11-06-2008, 06:21 PM
Dear Mono,

I think this is it. I'm about to take the test now.

*shares (http://animal.discovery.com/breedselector/dogselector.do)*

-EQ

monolayth
11-06-2008, 06:23 PM
dear EQ,

Yay, now i have something to do when i get to work. I need to run off and pack my lunch then go to work.

Happy,
Monolayth

CaroPhoenix
11-06-2008, 09:09 PM
Dear Living/Dining Room,

Please clean yourself!

That is all.

Rum

SorryIsGoodEnough
11-06-2008, 09:26 PM
Dear Ex.,

I don't like you. I don't like that you think you can call some Australian slut on the cell phone that is under MY name. I don't like that you think I'm a slut because I don't want to be with you.

I'm not having a fuck, fuck fuckity fuckastic fuckfest, thank you very much. Obviously, I left you because I learned to RESPECT myself, not because I don't respect myself.

Plz grow up. kthx.

Baby's Momma,
H.

Dear Current Dude,

You're normal. I like that.

I can't see us lasting forever, but for a long time. You're not the one, but you're good to me, and I do love you for it. Thanks for helping me gain some of my confidence back.

Too bad I'm bat shit crazy and we won't work out, in the end.

Love,
H.

Dear Self,

Stop being an emofucktard.

Thanks.

Sincerely,
Me.

the_std
11-06-2008, 11:28 PM
Dear crazylegs,

It has now been about twelve hours. Picked your jaw up off the ground yet? :D

Misanthropical
11-07-2008, 05:11 AM
Dear doctor,

You charge for last minute cancellations, so I expect to get paid for your last minute cancellations. You didn't just do it once, you did it twice.

I considered taking my sons to a different doctor, since last minute cancellations do not make a good first impression.

Also, you mocked my little guy not once, but twice. He hurt himself when he smacked into the sharp corner of the counter when he walked into the room. You asking him if he needed glasses was out of line for a woman who is suppose to help children with ADHD and ADD.

When you weighed him, he had his face close to the back of the scale, it was really out of line of you to tell him he didn't have to kiss it.

You are lucky I didn't take him out right then and go back home. We were there to see you, so you could start helping him with his ADD, not mock his behavior.

Do it again and that will be your third strike and I will go all "momma bear" on your ass and trust me when I say, it not the side of me you want to see, mmkay? You only think I'm quiet and soft spoken, that can and has changed in less than a minute, especially when it comes to my children.


Dear StinkyCow,

BossMan sent out and email about having a party for our beloved coworker who was leaving. He told us to check to see if people wanted in on it.

You sent out a second email about it, so I assumed that you were doing what you usually do and go on a power trip. I was staying out of it and letting you have your way.

You then came over to my desk with your gallon of perfume on, which your dumb ass knows bothers me and tried to get on me for not doing your bidding. I told you in more polite terms to fuck off.

You got all bitchy about it and stomped away. I emailed BossMan my side of the story and found out the first thing you did was to whine to BossMan about how I wasn't doing what you said, when you said it. He also told you in much nicer terms to get over yourself. You lose, bitch.

Do not ever sit near me again for any reason. I swear next time the nausea hits me from your skank smell I will throw up all over you and I won't apologize. My friend thinks if I do puke on you that you would smell better.

I don't give two shits that you are insulted that I cover my nose with a thick napkin when you come around. That is the price you have to pay for smelling like perfumed death. Go tell BossMan, I know he will take my side, since he can't stand the smell of you either, but can't or won't tell you to get help for your gallon of perfume a day habit.

Your stupidity showed me and my friend that you would vote for the anti-Christ, if he had the right party next to his name. Hell, he could have a speech where he tells everyone that if he is elected he will kill babies and your dumb ass would vote for him, because he is the right party for your empty little head.


Dear BossMan,

Why on earth would you try to put StinkyCow and I together for planning anything? You know we hate each other.

I'm not buying the excuse that we should work well together because we are coworkers.

You know the effect of her perfumed death has on me, so never do it again or I will get medieval on your ass. I'm so not kidding.


Dear way too thin coworker,

We know what you do after you eat. Stop it, you are grossing the rest of us out, either get help or stop purging at work.


Dear morons who park in the wrong spots just to pick up your baby mama or baby daddy or fuck buddy,

Stop parking in the medical reasons parking spots. There are huge ass signs that state those spots are reserved for employees who have a disability that isn't sever enough to get a handicap tag. Are you illiterate or just plain stupid? I vote that you are both.

I swear the next time we pull in and can't use those spots because of your inconsiderate ass, I will beat the shit out of you with my cane, so that you know a bit about the pain I have to endure every day, especially when I have to walk too far.

You want to park there? I will give you the reason you need. Oh, and if you park next to us one more time just to blast your shitty music I will put a complaint in with security and make sure you have to pick up who ever the hell you pick up all the way up the hill. Don't test me.

Dear cab driver,

You rock out loud, which is why I always ask for you when I have to use a taxi. You cracked my little guy up on the way to see the doctor and you always crack me up, too.

Don't ever retire, at least not until we get a second car.

gunsage
11-07-2008, 07:34 PM
Dear Bethesda,

You should start paying me to play your latest and finest creation, Fallout 3. Why for? Quite simply I don't have anymore time to call off.



Your Most Recent Addict,

Gun Sage.

********************

Dear Lionhead Studios,

You've made leaps and bounds in gaming innovations. You've created great games like The Movies, Black & White 1 and 2, and even Fable. Why is it, much like the original, that in the time it took me to type this message, I could've just beaten Fable 2?



I'm Just Sayin',

Gun Sage.

********************

Dear Cisco,

I hate you and your stupid test. You're a big meanie, poo poo, stupidhead. Your test made my brain hurt despite studying for literal months and now continuing to after failing your trial of death aka CCNA.



Sunshine and Unicorns,

Gun Sage

P.S. Is there some special way I can pass next time? ;)

crazylegs
11-07-2008, 07:58 PM
Dear the_std

Aye, pretty much! :p

Regards

Crazylegs

Evil Queen
11-08-2008, 12:48 AM
Dear The SO,

Please can we go? Please? Please? Please? Please?!? I promise to be a good girl the rest of the *mumbles*, please?!!?

Still wanting a doggie,
-the sad queen

Bella_Vixen
11-08-2008, 01:22 AM
Dear Becks--

CONGRATS!!!

::happy dance::

--Sunshine

Becks
11-08-2008, 01:27 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,

Congrats to you, too.

Especially since you got interviewed AND offered a job first. :p

Love,

Becks

Bella_Vixen
11-08-2008, 01:30 AM
Becks--

Only because they didn't realize how much awesomer you are.

:wave:

Becks
11-08-2008, 01:32 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,

Brat. :p

Thanks, too, for spending YOUR money on getting me some new stuff.

I owe you.

Love,

Your favoritist sister

Bella_Vixen
11-08-2008, 01:34 AM
Dear Becks--

3 words for you:

FROZEN HOT CHOCOLATE.

:wave:

CaroPhoenix
11-08-2008, 01:55 AM
Dear Bella,

You have me intrigued. Now I want frozen hot chocolate! :cry:

IDaR

Bella_Vixen
11-08-2008, 02:22 AM
Dear Rummy--

Come visit. Becks lives above a coffee shop, and that is one of their specialties. Once I dig out my blender, I'm going to see if I can make it.

I'll share.

:wave:

RetailWorkhorse
11-08-2008, 02:39 AM
Dear The SO,

Please can we go? Please? Please? Please? Please?!? I promise to be a good girl the rest of the *mumbles*, please?!!?

Still wanting a doggie,
-the sad queen

Dear EQ,

TAKE ME TOO!

-Daz Mel

AdminAssistant
11-08-2008, 06:38 AM
Dear BoyThing,

I really really hope this works out. I'm feeling a little twitterpated.

:D

~Moi

SengaKitty
11-08-2008, 01:18 PM
Dear Judge in Alabama,

Please understand that I am a good mother, that I love my son with all my heart, and that the best best best Christmas present you could ever Ever EVER give anyone, you'd give this year by giving me custody of my little prince when I come down there in December. Please know I would have brought him with me, if only I'd known that I could. Please know I think about him non stop, and the only thing I want in the world is to have him back!

Thank you for understanding all this, and, hopefully, thank you for giving him back!

Sincerely
RHPG

PS Please don't be biased because I'm not from/do not live in Alabama....

Maximillion
11-08-2008, 01:31 PM
Dear Idiot By The Pump,

I asked you to turn your motor off for a reason. I promise I'm not out to annoy you, I can do it without trying. You could get us all killed. It's not rocket science. Either turn it off or I stop your pump. If you don't like it then come back inside for your refund.

~That Bitch At The Register

Misanthropical
11-08-2008, 01:54 PM
Dear morons doing yard work,

I'm so not a morning person and you waking me up at 8:30 AM to do what ever the hell you guys are doing out there with the loudest machines you could find, is really starting to piss me the hell off.

When you first woke me up I had very evil thoughts about you guys and a wood chipper.

I know my neighbors can't be happy either, do you really want to piss off a large number of people who are not morning people?


Dear husband,

I'm not trying to nag you about not taking a second job in retail. I'm trying to warn you! I love you and don't want to see you have to put up with the dumb shit that goes along with working with the public.

You have never worked with the general public and have no idea just how evil they can be. You will see that I was right when I told you that you will end up hating mankind worse than I do, if you work with the general public.

I know I can never go to where they have hired you on, because I would go medieval on the first person I saw that insulted you or tried to throw something at you.

Please reconsider! I worry!


Dear big guy,

Thank you for not getting upset when I borrow your shirts. They are big and roomy. Perfect for bumming around or sleeping in.

Also, thank you for taking over most of the cooking. I hate cooking and it helps when you want you to do it.


Dear computer monitor,

Stop freaking out! I can't afford to replace you right now! GRR!

CaroPhoenix
11-08-2008, 04:41 PM
Dear Mis,

I think I'll definitely start stalking (your threads) now.

:)
IDaR

---------------------------------------
Dear Darwin (my boy cat),

For the love of all fluffiness, stop being so darn cute, and lovable and pettable! I can't get no housework done!

Procrastinating,
Your Human Mommy

Dreamstalker
11-08-2008, 04:55 PM
Dear RPHG:

Hugs, positive thoughts and kitty-purrs still coming your way.

Dreamstalker

-----------------------

Dear Job Market/Economy:

Get better, please? I really want to get a job by New Years and be paid what I'm actually worth as a tech.

-------------------------

Dear MBTA:

Please get a better lost-and-found system. Having it located in a brick building in the C Line train yard is a bit dangerous (drivers are not watching for non-safety-vest-clad foot traffic as they have no reason to), also by your own rules non-employees aren't even supposed to be in there.

lastofthesummerwine
11-08-2008, 05:19 PM
Dear Shit-Stirrer:

You have your own apartment so stay in it. No matter how puffed up you are with your own sense of self-worth, you're still nothing more than a fucking tenant.

Don't think I don't know why I bother you. I won't come to your fang and claw kaffee klatsches to spread dirt. Gossip is toxic and YOU are the chief poisoner.

Every narc has to be perfectly circumspect in their own behavior. It isn't within your nature to follow the same rules as everyone else does and it certainly isn't characteristic of you to avoid situations that might suck you into a vortex of trouble. You've just been very lucky thus far because you certainly don't have the intellect to figure out the logistics of it all.

Stay the fuck away from me.

Crow The Robot
11-08-2008, 05:45 PM
Dear Drunken dipshit:
Yes, putting your goddamn Huffy in the middle of the stoe's doorway is going to trip someone, don't aregue about move you POS bike before I throw it in the river., and don't pay for booze with seven dollars worth of pennies
regards
CTR

Dear WM2041:
Bite me you bastards. Wanna wonder why you have no stockmen, you treated us with NO RESPECT. You wanna let customers nearly hit us and then admonish us because the cell-phone talking, subway sandwich eating, child seat belt fastening twit, said she never shop here again. She'll be back, i however will never set foot in your store again.
Much Love-
CTR

Dear Crazy Black Friday Loving Aunt:
No I don't care about the goddamn retail sales wherein you can get a years supply of socks, I am NOT going to get up at 5AM to deal with the nutjobs who want to get a knock-off DVD player for $20, it was bad enough when i got paid to deal with that idiocy, if I ain't gettin' paid , honey, i ain't goin'. Oh, and stop b-tching about how fat you have to drive to get to our house, stop trying to endanger our house because you want a pretty fire in our fireplace. Know what? I don't care how much better it is at R's house, and how i should stop cooking because it makes me "look gay" and no woman would want me, you certainly don't complain when you eat my cakes. And you are not my godmother.
Your nephew,
CTR

Dear overanalyzing political people on TV:
THE ELECTION IS OVER SHUT UP!!!
Thank you
CTR

Dear alma mater:
I am not giving you a dime, you want to employ 'teachers" who said they laughed when white people died, and kick any dissenting voices out of their class then you can do without my money. My parents already gave you $100,000 when I was enrolled at your shitty school, so f-ck off. And don't tell me who to vote for, it ain't none of your damn business.
Aggrevated alumnus
CTR

Wow that felt good.

To my peeps at CS:
I hope you all have a great holiday, if you need positive thoughts I'll send them your way. I'm sorry if i act like an asshole sometimes, so thanks for being there and making thi site one of the beat on the internet.
Your in CS-dom
CTR

smileyeagle1021
11-08-2008, 07:00 PM
dear CTR,

tell your aunt that cooking ability has nothing to do with sexuality... one of the best cooks I know is straight and one of the worst is gay.

sincerely
smiley

dear EQ
Fenrus says you are corrupting me

sincerely
smiley

dear Mom,
you have redeemed yourself from last week. Thank you. Even if you did vote for the wrong candidate :p

dear coworkers
Please stop being sick... I do appreciate being able to sleep once in a while which is really hard to do when I am always having to cover your shifts. And yes the new guy needs hours too... but he too enjoys sleep.

dear managers
please hire another person so we aren't so short staffed and overworked to the point where there quite literally is no one to cover a shift when someone gets sick (if I were to get sick right now likely the hotel would have to close until either I or one of my sick coworkers were to get better).

sincerely
really tired smiley

Dear Fenrus,
You suck. You know why. :cry:

sincerely
:D

Cat
11-08-2008, 09:53 PM
Dear Holiday Shopping Crowds:

I will not be sad to miss you this year, as I just finished my shopping. Enjoy the chaos, and much love and respect to Black Friday workers

Dear Fat Tabby Cat,
Grow a pair and beat of the One eyed one.


Dear One eyed one,
Be nice to Fat Tabby CAt

Evil Queen
11-09-2008, 12:02 AM
Dear Alabama Judge,

Yes, RHPG is a wonderfully Mommy and her SO would make a wonderful Daddy. Now give her back her kid before I get all cranky on my blog about you~!

Pffffthhh!

-THE Evil Queen
I give you nightmares, ya know.



dear EQ
Fenrus says you are corrupting me

sincerely
smiley

Dear Smiley,

I agree with Fenrus. <3

Crow The Robot
11-09-2008, 01:42 AM
Dear Smiley eagle: I know, my aunt just jealous because her cooking skills are limited to cooking microwave pasta, and then forcing her guests to rave about what a good cook she is, I just wanted to vent i pay no attention to her, anyone who willingly goes out into Black Friday Sales is a little nutty IMHO. Thanks for the support-
CTR

Dear Idiot who runs our small town=
Read the damn contracts when you sign a sewerage deal. i can't believe rhe reelected you. You'll pull this town further into debt.-
Pays WAY too much in property taxes
CTR

To next door neighbor:
Stop using our driveway, you have your own, plus an area of parking in front of your house. And I am not mowing your damn lawn either.-
Regards
CTR

monolayth
11-09-2008, 02:27 AM
Dear regina L,

I was nothing but nice to you. You however were rude and abusive the second I said hello. I tried to be nice to you, you were and evil abusive b&%ch. My frist thought was to wish you death.

but no. I wish you life.

I wish you a life where you have no joy in everyday things beacuse no one wants to be around so foul a person. I wish you a long and solitary life. I wish you all the aches and pains that happen to good wholesome people that don't deserve it. I wish you all their sufferings. I wish your life filled with horrible raining days when you want sunshine. I wish you to have hives in places you cant scratch. I wish you happy joyful bluebirds to serinade you every moment of your life. I wish you rocks in your shoes, and that your undergarments shrink.

And worst of all I wish you, your own company.

Vindicated,
the person being paied to answer the phone.

Dreamstalker
11-09-2008, 03:37 AM
Dear Atari:

Thank you thank you for taking on the Ghostbusters game. Please for the love of Cthulhu don't let Sony screw it up. Activision are fools..."no money in it" my ass.

Dear Sony:

Don't you DARE try that copy-protection rootkit on the aforementioned game.

Dear Master Replicas:

Don't screw the props up either (although the consensus seems to be that it will happen anyway).

Evil Queen
11-09-2008, 04:17 AM
Dear Crow,

You're a guy and you cook? I Love You. Tell your Aunt to f*ck off.

A very straight, very female,
-Evil Queen

P.S. I did Black Friday once. Never-a-fucking-gain. I am scared for life. Big time.


Dear SO,
Yes, I made CINNAMON ROLLS. You can have one IF you pay the toll; two kisses please!

Your snuggly one,
-EQ

monolayth
11-09-2008, 05:56 AM
dear bunny

dont make me hamhock you!

giggling,
lt.

SorryIsGoodEnough
11-09-2008, 06:12 AM
Dear Self:

Learn to enjoy being lonely. Better yet, don't resent yourself or your daughter or your ex for your solitude. It's nobody's fault. It's just how it is right now, and face it, you could use the time to think and re-evaluate yourself.

Sure, you could use some friends. It sucks having no one to call when the world once again hoists its weight up on your shoulders. But don't worry. Someday, you'll have a whole bunch of people who call YOU because they want to hear your voice and value what you have to say.

Sincerely,
You.

Dear Ex. (again),

Please leave me alone. Don't call me drunk. Don't call me when you're with your new girlfriend. Don't call me and then hang up just to check if I'm home.

Yes, you had sex with me. The evidence is in our daughter. That doesn't mean that I want to fuck every guy I see. Even if I'm not home, I'm probably not doing what you think I'm doing. Besides, it's none of your business.

The sad thing is...I'm typing this here because 1) You won't let me say it out loud, you always interrupt and 2) You'd bitch and moan about it if I emailed it to you or sent it on MySpace.

Your maturity level is horrifyingly low.

Ihateyou,
H.

Dear Daughter,

I love you, even if I cry when you do. Even if I put you down to sleep and have to let you cry yourself to sleep. A bed time is good for you. You'll thank me some day when you have a good routine and the stability to succeed. I don't like hearing you cry, and I don't like sitting in the dark waiting for you to finally slip into slumber.

I'm sorry I let you get to be 11 months without a routine. Things haven't been easy for Mommy, but I'll do better. I can be a good mom, even if I'm not right now.

I love you.

Forever,
Mommy.

iradney
11-09-2008, 06:14 AM
Dear RHPG

Sending you loads of positive energy

Love
Rads

Dear stomach

Enough now!

Rads

smileyeagle1021
11-09-2008, 09:23 AM
Dear EQ,
What would I have to pay for the Cinomman Rolls :D

sincerely
Smiley

PS I wish there was someone closer who made cinomman rolls who would share... *glares in the direction of West Jordan* :lol:

SengaKitty
11-09-2008, 01:02 PM
Dear Sorry is good enough,

I'm here if you need a shoulder, just let me know.

RHPG

Dear Brain
Shut off so I can sleep... Please? It's been nearly 36 hours... I can't take it much more!

Me

Dear Idiot and MIL

You both suck..... I will fight tooth and nail for my little prince, don't make me go mama bear on your ass... Even if I have to come down there alone, and fight without a lawyer, I will fight til my last breath. Don't doubt it.

I hate you
RHPG

CaroPhoenix
11-09-2008, 03:02 PM
Dear Backside Beret of a Husband,

Get the :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored: out of the house. Go back to Charlottesville. You do not need to be here any longer than you have to. I actually enjoyed not having you around.

Crying on the inside 'cos I can't say this out loud to you,
Rum

SorryIsGoodEnough
11-09-2008, 09:33 PM
Dear LOST,

I'm counting down the days until you return...until JANUARY 21st, 2009.

I can't wait to see you. I've missed you.

Love,
Your Biggest Fan.

Dear Ben,

I think you're hot. You make being a heartless, manipulative bastard look good.

Love,
Me.

Evil Queen
11-09-2008, 11:49 PM
Dear EQ,
What would I have to pay for the Cinomman Rolls :D

sincerely
Smiley

PS I wish there was someone closer who made cinomman rolls who would share... *glares in the direction of West Jordan* :lol:

Dear Smiley,

They're so tasty and warm! :angel:

-EQ

Cat
11-10-2008, 12:01 AM
Dear S.A.D

Go away.


-Cat


(I mean seasonal affective disorder, I hope its not anyone's initials here, ha)

Misanthropical
11-10-2008, 03:31 AM
Dear little guy's teacher,

Stop ignoring my emails! I need that paperwork filled out for the little guy, so he can get the proper help for his ADD. Don't make me have to come down there!


Dear two idiots in different cars,

Did you morons not notice us in the other lane? You both almost hit us because you were playing who has the bigger dick with each other.

I would have been seriously pissed off if either of you idiots had hit us, which you both almost did. Trust me, it wouldn't have been pretty!


Dear husband,

Good job in avoiding those two idiots. If you didn't swerve in time, we would have been toast.


Dear morons,

I would appreciate it if you all would stop trying to push me out of the way or cut me off when I'm walking.

I'm going to start sweeping people off their feet with the cane, if they keep annoying me.

crazylegs
11-10-2008, 08:15 AM
Dear Mis,

Please see the slightly edited letter, it's probably a little closer to the truth... ;)

Yours

Crazylegs

Dear two idiots in different cars,

Did you morons not notice us in the other lane? You both almost hit us because you were playing who has the smaller dick with each other.

I would have been seriously pissed off if either of you idiots had hit us, which you both almost did. Trust me, it wouldn't have been pretty!

Shangri-laschild
11-10-2008, 01:02 PM
Dear M,

Thank you for coming back to work. I can't trouble shoot your key machine for crap. Also, thank you for making me keys. Also, thank you for explaining some on the nonexistant doors in the library that I have keys to. You were missed.


Dear J,

Happy birthday!! I'm glad you were working last night so that my 12:01am phone call didn't wake you. Also, can we hurry the fuck up on putting that fence up? If we don't do it this week we may be shit out of luck. I want a puppy come next spring and to do so, Jenna needs to feel like it's her place first.


Dear Snow,

I hate you. I hate the cold. But maybe just maybe you could hurry up and get here soon anyway? I'm really really craving that snowmobile

Misanthropical
11-10-2008, 01:28 PM
Dear Crazylegs,

You are correct, thank you! We just got the car fixed from the deer and I didn't want to have to have it fixed again.


Dear Idiot that locked his girlfriend out the car at the Wawa,

You deserved her walking off and leaving you there. She didn't look like she was in the mood for your shit.

We knew you wouldn't be getting any loving for awhile. Yes, we laughed at you as you pulled out and tried to figure out which way she went.


Dear children,

You guys have your own chocolate! Stay out of my chocolate stash or I will sell you all to the monkey house!

Smooches!


Dear husband,

That goes for you too!

SengaKitty
11-10-2008, 01:53 PM
Dear Mis,

Can I have some chocolate? Pretty please?

<3

Dear brain,

Please shut off... It's been too long since I've had a decent, uninterrupted sleep... gah

Dear Lawyer in alabama,

I wonder if its even worth asking if you would take payments on the $2000 you want me to pay you to come argue my case.... I've heard courts don't appoint lawyers in custody hearing, and I really really would rather have a lawyer on my side than have to fight this alone. Though I have had many people tell me that I sound like a lawyer, I am not, and I would rather not fight this alone..

Dear SO's chef
You suck. You know how important this case is and you won't let him come with me?! Do you not realize how much better it would look for me if he showed up at the court with me, and showed his support, and his want to help me get custody? I really f*&$ing hate you!

Misanthropical
11-10-2008, 02:49 PM
Dear RedHeadPhoneGirl,

Yes, but only because you are having a tough time right now. :D


Dear little guy and daughter,

If you two do not start getting along I will go crazy and I will take the two of you with me! Got it! Good!


Dear mother at the party last night,

You do not know my son as well as you think. I am his mother and I know him the best. I do know he is not perfect, but he didn't do anything that would require you to be a bitch. I do know that you think your daughter can walk on water, when in fact she can't behave for more than 2 seconds without you have to buy her something for it. So, stop trying to pass judgement.

Tell you what, you stop trying to judge my son and I will stop thinking you spend ungodly amounts of money to get your daughter to behave, when it actually teaches her that misbehaving will get things bought for her, mmkay?

PhotoChick
11-10-2008, 02:59 PM
Dear new man,
I know I suck at this whole being a girlfriend thing. I'm working on it. Telling me that I suck isn't helping, it makes me feel like bad. I don't wanna feel bad.

Dear B,
I know you like manhandleing me. I don't mind it either. But can you give a girl some warning? Oh and you ended up giving me a wedgy, don't do it again.

draftermatt
11-10-2008, 05:47 PM
Dear Wife,

I wasn't trying to hide anything when I said I was depressed on Myspace. That was how I felt this morning, just down in the dumps. You know how much I hate this job, and it doesn't do anyone any good when I complain. And all this stuff with my grandmother is starting to take a toll, even though I never thought it would.

I love you, and thinking of coming home to you is all that gets me through the day some days. You are still the best thing that's ever happened in my life, and the best thing in it.

draftermatt
11-10-2008, 06:23 PM
Dear Engineering Company that I applied to last week,

I would love to work for you. Tis why I applied. If you could just send me an e-mail or call me it'd be great.

Even if it's to tell me you don't want me.

Your website still says you're hiring for the position I applied for, and I meet or exceed all your requirements.

I want out of this hell hole, please.

crazylegs
11-10-2008, 11:01 PM
Dear A,

You're brilliant at your job, you care and that is more than can be said for an awful lot of people. Please, look after yourself.

Crazylegs.

CaroPhoenix
11-10-2008, 11:16 PM
Dear Child Rum,

Please don't come down with a cold! I hate it when you are sick. :cry:

Lovingly,
Mommy

-------------------------------
Dear Tummy,

Stop rumbling! I had lots of pizza for dinner so I know I shouldn't be hungry no more!

Trying not to eat anything else,
Rum

Evil Queen
11-10-2008, 11:33 PM
Dear Forumites,

I put brandy in my Rice Crispy treats I just made. Who wants to try some?

Feels like sharing,
-EQ

Saydrah
11-10-2008, 11:34 PM
Dear EQ,

Bring them by the pervfest thread.

We're out of muffins.

-Sayds

Evil Queen
11-10-2008, 11:36 PM
Dear Sayds,

On my way! :D

-EQ

Kagato
11-11-2008, 11:10 AM
Dear ignorant driver:

Please do not flash your high-beam headlights at me and blind me while I am driving in my bus, (you) assuming I have my high-beams on when in fact my lights are DIPPED, 1. I am in a 7 tonne vehicle while you are in a 1 tonne vehicle, and 2. My headlights are vastly more powerful than yours. Either way you will LOSE.

No Love,
Me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear considerate passenger:

Thank you for taking the time to have a chat with me during one of the more boring periods of my shift, it is customers like you that make my job worthwhile, not to mention keeping my sanity intact.

Thanks

Me.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Miserable, Stranded passenger:

I gave you a lift free of charge because I am a good guy and wanted to do a good deed, and no one deserves to be stuck at a deserted bus stop on a horrid, rainy night. I did not expect anything in return, but it is appreciated at the thank-you note that you left at the depot for me the following day, kinda gives you the typical "warm fuzzy feeling" inside.

Many thanks

Me.

And lastly...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear special someone...

Know that you will always hold a special place in my heart, I may lose my cool from time to time with you, but I will NEVER stop loving you. I will most certainly admit that I am not a perfect guy, all I can do is do my best to try to improve myself and fix my personal flaws, and I simply hope we can repair the past damage between us when I can finally be with you *wishes that the big cheese would finally bestow a decent chunk of good luck on me and let me win the lottery*

Love always

Me.

smileyeagle1021
11-11-2008, 11:20 AM
Dear Saydrah,
We're still waiting for the missionaries in the pervfest thread :D

love,
Smiley

Dear EQ,
out of all the people on the board how did I get labeled "The Gay One"

hugs and kisses
Smiley

Shangri-laschild
11-11-2008, 01:05 PM
Dear JR

What the fuck is your problem? First off, coming home "just a little buzzed" to go to your brother's birthday dinner was wonderful enough of you. When you got home, J was trying to talk to your mom about what happened and calm her down. She can't sleep if there's not someone else home right now. He's trying to calm her down and keep her prepared. You constantly inturupting him because you're too damn chatty (from the drinking) and then telling your mom how easy it would be to kick in the front door was the wrong fucking move. Also, when I stay at your mom's house and sleep on the couch, I'm already jumpy enough as it is. When you come home from work at 2am, don't stand there and try to chat with me. I'm trying to sleep. Also, yeah I get that you can't sleep with the lights on. So close your door a bit and put that sleeping mask over your eyes. That's why you got it. Your mom wants the front light on and you leaning on her about it makes her feel guilty about doing what she feels is inconveniencing people. Back the fuck off. You didn't even go to sleep before she woke up so what was the big fucking deal? Also, stop going on about what kind of security system she needs. You don't know shit. I get that the guy you think of as a father is a lock smith. He might be a great guy. You personally don't know shit. Stop scaring your mom and stop making the situation worse. I know J already chewed you out but since you still kept saying shit you shouldn't have I'm going to guess your dumb ass was too damn drunk to understand. Oh yeah, and you were not "less buzzed than you thought you were going too be" unless you had been thinking you were going to be smashed.

SengaKitty
11-11-2008, 02:51 PM
Dear fate

Please let me either get custody here in Kentucky, or find a decent apartment in one of the states surrounding alabama so I can be closer to my son when they give me visitation! It would be greatly appreciated!

Me...

PS Please I really need this... I need my baby... my sanity is going very quickly out the door!

Elspeth
11-11-2008, 03:21 PM
Dear Body

Didn't we have this dicussion?!?!?! STOP IT WITH THE HURTING!!!!


Dear Thursday,

GET HERE!! I want my days off. Plus there is a little game coming out that I want to play A LOT.

Dear Boss (also my Uncle)

Your are my fav uncle, but the 1500 person mailer right before I get time off is not fun. Stop with the projects, I would like to get caught the hell up. I actually love what I do, but you are about to get a beating with the Stick!

Els

Evil Queen
11-11-2008, 03:39 PM
Dear Smiley,

it's because I haven't seen the offical Gay One (SheldonRS) in a while and I miss him. Sheldon come back!

-EQ


Dear Doctor I have to see in 3 hours,
Please be good. Please make my test results happy ones. Or I'll be a very sad panda.
-EQ

monolayth
11-11-2008, 08:14 PM
Dear land lady,

You are a bitch. last month you came by to discuss the new lease you wanted us to sign. in the corse of that time, N told you that we had seen a mouse. you fliped out. you went searching all over the house looking at every basebord and freaked out beacuse there were spiders in the basement. you also noted there were fruit flys in the house. did you not notice the fresh fromt he garden produce in the house?

So, i took care of all these problems. today you drop off the lease to be signed. you added a clause.

"Landlords retain the right to do a monthly walk through & inspection of the up keep of the house"

That was exactly how you worded it spaces and all.

So, yeah occasionally the dishes and laundry piles up. It all gets taken care of every monday and tuesday. I do much cleaning on the work week. My house is not dirty. I do not have vermin infesting it. Granted i had some mice, but they managed to slip in somehow and are completely gone. I know I check the 20 traps every day.

Did you know i have an anexiety over people coming over to my house?

want to know why?

My parents house was inspected every week when we lived on the milatary base. and my father would beat the crap out of me everytime it did not pass inspection. and yeah my parents kept a discusting house. thats why it was inspected every week.

So, now you want to bring this up for me again? I will do some thinking the next two or so days. If I can figure it out I WILL be moving before the old lease is up on Dec. 1st. If I had known that you would have put this clase up back in october I would not have wasted this past month thinking I had a secure place to live.

nas it stands now i would have to find a place to live find the money for deposits and move everything while working a full time job in a little over 15 days.

Your tenant,
the pissed off one.

SengaKitty
11-11-2008, 09:31 PM
Dear Monolayth:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: :hug:

Just thought you could use that

Much much loves
RHPG


Dear Fiance,
You are amazing and wonderful and everything i could have ever dreamed. You cannot possibly know what it means to me that you are willing to uproot your life here to move to Alabama if the judge says it's move or no custody. What did I do that was so good to deserve you?! Please don't ever ever ever leave.

Yours in body heart and soul
Me

CaroPhoenix
11-11-2008, 10:00 PM
Mommie Dearest,

I hate you more than words can describe.

That is all.

Wishing to divorce my family,
Rum

PS You not talking to me doesn't hurt me. It does, however, hurt the grandchild you claim to "love so much". Have you ever thought about that? Or do you not care?

AdminAssistant
11-12-2008, 05:22 AM
BoyThing,

I like you. I really do. But dammit, I'm drowning in this prospectus due tomorrow, and as much as I would like a little break, I don't have time to go to your house. You could come over here, y'know.

You can't always get delivery, sometimes you have to actually go to the restaurant.

And it's really too bad, because I would so pay you back this weekend for a neck rub tonight.

~Moi

Elspeth
11-12-2008, 05:59 AM
Dear Blizzard,
I love your games, but for all the is holy could you please not screw up Lich King's release. Today suck and all you did for do something to the mail. Stop it!! I took time off for my mental health and that involves beating up pixels in WoW.

Please Please Please work on Thursday

Elspeth

PS and no I am now addicted or anything why do you ask?:devil:

SorryIsGoodEnough
11-12-2008, 06:06 AM
Dear Self:

Guys like women with confidence. Wanting to give Baby to your ex and offing yourself soon after is NOT a sign of CONFIDENCE.

Get a fucking clue and grow up. Nobody loves you except your daughter, fine. Why prove them all right, about how worthless you are? Show a little of that old stubborn attitude. Don't overdose again. All you do is hallucinate anyway. And while watching the ceiling turn into sea anemone is fun as heck, it's not really productive. kthxbai

Scared,
Me.

Shangri-laschild
11-12-2008, 12:39 PM
Dear Kaetchen,

Last night was fun :) I hope you had a good birthday.

Dear J,

Thanks for tollerating my sudden urge to move all the furniture in your living room around for no apparent reason.

Dear J2,

Thanks for the drink. Me being a cheep drunk meant I was just barely slightly buzzed from it which was fun. Also, your girlfriend kicks serious ass.

Cat
11-12-2008, 01:51 PM
Dear Car

Be good at the dealership, you'll be getting your brakes checked and the timing belt replaced. Sorry I didn't get you a check up sooner, but thanks for running great these past 85K miles.

Misanthropical
11-12-2008, 03:22 PM
Dear little guy's teacher,

Why did it take my husband calling to get you to fill out the paperwork? I sent you TWO emails about it and you chose to ignore me, but the minute my husband calls, you can't do it fast enough?

You are lucky he took over, because I was getting ready to rip into you and sprinkle it on my "Bitch-O-Flakes" that I have every morning.

Now, you are telling my little guy that only his father can sign the little guy's work? Honey, you do not want to go there. I am that boy's mother and it will be my signature on his work. If you don't like it, you can call me and we will discuss it, in that "Kill Bill" sort of way, where the woman "discusses" her heritage with a board member. Only I do it figuratively and not literally.

You can ask my little guy's old teachers and you will find out that we are close, so do not try to stand between me and my son. I do what mama bears do, when someone tries to stand between them and their cub, get the picture?


Dear back,

Please for the love of all that is holy, stop hurting! I know that we haven't had the injections, but could you please stop hurting me. Please?

I know I should have taken the medicine when you first starting hurting, but I couldn't. So, give me a break, mmkay?


Dear idiots in management,

Could you please hire IT people who are actually in the same country as us, so that if the systems go down, we can have the person actually in the building?

Do not make me have to slap the stupid out of you!


Dear people who keep asking why I'm using a cane,

Your answer from now on will be "because I am going for the House look" Since it's not really any of your business, especially when you are a total stranger!


Dear security guy,

Thank you for not having me stay seated on the curb when I was waiting for my husband to pick me up from work.

You saw that I couldn't stand anymore and brought out a chair and put it inside the doors, so I could still look out to see if he was coming without being out in the cold.

That was really nice of you. You rock!

protege
11-13-2008, 12:13 PM
Dear people who keep asking why I'm using a cane,

Your answer from now on will be "because I am going for the House look" Since it's not really any of your business, especially when you are a total stranger!

Dear Mis,

The proper answer is either "So I can beat the crap out of you when you piss me off" or "so I don't fall on my ass when using the flamethrower" :devil:

--Pro

Shangri-laschild
11-13-2008, 01:12 PM
Dear C,

Amused though I am being invited to the party in Leeds (what with me living in the US), I'm just a bit confused seeing as how you live less than ten minutes away from me.


Dear Mom,

Thank you so much for lending me that cot with the air mattress. That was some amazing sleep. Trying to sleep on that couch was killing my hips.

Misanthropical
11-13-2008, 01:42 PM
Dear Pro,

~You are too funny. I did make the joke that I hurt myself kicking people in the head for asking me stupid questions, to a friend who knows I have a weird sense of humor.


Dear BossMan,

~I realized I looked fine last night and was joking around like normal, but only because if I'm in pain I try not to show it. It comes from hiding pain, so my children don't freak, not because I'm not in pain.

~Yes, I was really nauseated too and didn't know if it would get worse, so I really did have to leave. I wasn't trying to play hooky.

~I went to work thinking I could tough it out, but things didn't work that way.

~I do have to thank you for letting me leave without a problem, but I was worried that you would think I was just cutting out on you. I really did go straight to the doctor. I have the note in my purse to give you tonight.

~Also, thank you for giving me the extra hours, knowing I really needed them right now.


Dear Doctor,

~I was a bit shocked that you remembered me, when you see so many people a day. I have only seen you once before and you fixed me right up then, too.

~So, thank you for helping me out last night and answering my stupid questions.


Dear nausea,

~GO AWAY! I MEAN IT!


Dear Husband,

~I have to thank you too, for telling them how much pain I was in, since I have a tendency to down play it.

~Also, thank you for not leaving the room till you were sure the doctor was going to help me out and not upset me, like the specialist did.

~I did joke that you should find the warranty on me and trade me in. :D


Dear Little Guy,

~Stop spreading my books around and making a mess trying to find one to read. When you find one to read, put the others back.

~If I trip over the books again on my way to bed, I will wake your behind up to put them back.

~Yes, I was joking when I told you the doctor said I wasn't feeling well because I don't get enough kisses and hugs. :kiss:


Dear Daughter,

~We got you a cell phone for a reason and it wasn't so you could text everyone in the free world.

It's so you can check in if your going to be late. You know the rule. If I have to worry and you are not hurt, you will be grounded. That has always been the rule and I'm not a big meanie face for grounding you for not checking in.


Dear Big Guy,

~When I came in and joked "Who missed the mommy?" I did hear you whisper that you did. You are so sweet, even if I wasn't suppose to hear it. :love:

Trayol
11-13-2008, 07:27 PM
Dear Body,

Why do you hate me? Did we not deal with the "wandering migraine" for three days last week. And now here you are, being nauseus. Why is this nausea giving me a headache? WHY?!?!? And you know I can't get off from work. You Suck.

Queasily, Trayol

SengaKitty
11-13-2008, 11:07 PM
Dear SO,
I love you dearly, but if you don't start sticking up for me wen our roommates decide to attack me, wen we're bot supposed to be pissed at tem, i'm going to walk out. I cannot take any more of being te "bad guy" I just can't. I've got enoug on my plate as is, I wis you all would just STOP adding more already. Seriously, I can't take it anymore. Period. And sould I try to say tis to you, you simply say you are sticking up for me, wen you were joining in teir attacks. I'm DONE. Eiter back me up for once wen you say you will, or leave me te fuck alone.

Pained
Me

AdminAssistant
11-14-2008, 02:12 AM
Dear Opera People,

You fucking suck. Production takes preference over classwork, fine, I get it. But if having that room was so fucking important then why the fuck did you not RESERVE it through the office. And when I pointed out that simple fact to you, I did not 'yell'. I was forceful with tones of anger. You don't appreciate being 'yelled' at? Well, I don't appreciate being booted out of the rehearsal room I SIGNED UP FOR IN ADVANCE just because the pweshus soprano needs to warm up. It's 15 minutes to curtain sweetcheeks, you should of warmed up a LONG time ago. If another room hadn't been available, then, I would have yelled.

Honestly, I realize that we were two stressed out people in a shitty situation, BUT that does not excuse the lack of preparation.

I really hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass.

~ The overworked graduate director....

Misanthropical
11-14-2008, 02:33 AM
Dear RedHeadPhoneGirl SO,

A real man sticks up for his girl, so grow up, put on the big boy pants and start acting like a real man or I will take the flame thrower to your ass, kthnxbye.


Dear TV stations,

Stop with the annoying pop ups! I will not watch any show that is advertised by being a pop up on the show I'm trying to watch.

I hope you all get a shit load of pop ups on your computers that won't stop.

CaroPhoenix
11-14-2008, 11:33 AM
Dear Mis,

I really admire you.

Please give updates on how your little guy's teacher reacts the first time you sign his homework instead of your husband.

:popcorn:
IDaR

iradney
11-14-2008, 12:04 PM
Dear Mis

Would you like me to visit the teacher and beat him with my Shoe of Clues?

Love
Rads

SengaKitty
11-14-2008, 12:47 PM
Dear Mis,

Thanks, he did end up sticking up for me, and the roommates started acting sweet again.... I think they realize I'm about ready to go off on all of them, cause I simply cannot take much more stress.... Surprised I'm not bald, or balding, yet with all the shedding and hair pulling i've been doing! But thanks for sticking up for me :D


Dear work,
Thanks for all the hours, but for the love of DEITY understand that while, yes, I said I'd take L's shifts for tuesday, thursday, and friday, I didn't realize that I would end up having to work tuesday all the way through til NEXT tuesday! And it would have been LAST wednesday all the way up til NEXT tuesday had I had gas on Monday!
Yes, I'll be at work tonight, but know I'm not happy about it. I'm tired, and I'm only doing it for the overtime *sigh*

draftermatt
11-14-2008, 02:19 PM
Dear DC,

I'm trying to draw your job, it's really the only thing I wanted to do today because I don't want to get into yet another project and have to stop to go back to yours.

Please send me the information I need, and do it quickly. I'm starting to feel bad for not working all day. Not really, but there is a part of me. Especially when I came in prepared to work.

Misanthropical
11-14-2008, 02:34 PM
Dear idrinkarum,

The little guy said she didn't do or say anything when she saw that I was the one who signed it.


Dear Rads,

Thank you for the offer, but I think she realized trying to get between me and the little guy was a bad idea.


Dear RedHeadPhoneGirl,

You're welcome. If he needs another beating letting me know. :D


Dear body,

What the heck was up with falling out of bed last night? I can't bend one of my toes now and my arm and head hurt from hitting the night stand.

Don't do that again. It was embarrassing to have my husband help me back into bed.


Dear BossMan,

Earlier this week you said it wouldn't be a problem for me to come in later when my little guy gets out of school early.

So, what was up last night when you acted like I punched your mother in the face when I asked you about it?

Now, I have to talk to you about when he gets out early and how I'm going to make up the time I missed?

What the hell?


Dear StinkyCow,

HAHAHA! You got moved to the very back of the call floor and have to sit at a tiny desk, instead of the big one you had.

You know why that happened? The people sitting near you complained about having to smell you. GET A CLUE!

I should tell those ladies you sit next to now that you referred to sitting next to them as "ghetto" I'm sure those Black Ladies would rip you into pieces, which I would pay good money to see.

AdminAssistant
11-14-2008, 02:51 PM
Dear Opera SM,

Yes, I got your name to apologize. Perhaps I should've let it slide, but I did snap at you, and I am sorry. I've been there, I hope you accept my apology and we all move on with our lives.

Dear Opera Diva,

You, however, can die in a fire. Sincerely. You sing, that's all. And not particularly well. That does not entitle you to barging around acting like Miss Thang. The world owes you nothing.

Dear Office Lady,

You are awesome. Thanks for backing me up on this and giving me the SM's name so I could apologize for being a cranky bitch.

Dear Boything,

We're both ridiculously busy, I know. You work long hours, I know. But my neck is a stack of knots and I need some cuddles. So...please have some time this weekend. I need to get away from school shtuff for a while.

Evil Queen
11-14-2008, 04:03 PM
Dear self,

I'm happy my doctor's appointment went well and there were no problems!

Love,
-Myself


Dear Macon County Health Department in North Carolina,

Thanks to you and your need to give me a scare about cervical cancer, I will NEVER USE YOUR FUCKING SERVICES AGAIN! You can freaking ROT you STUPID agency! You ALL SUCK mold!

Still pissed at you,
-The EVIL Queen

RetailWorkhorse
11-14-2008, 04:20 PM
Dear self,

I'm happy my doctor's appointment went well and there were no problems!

Love,
-Myself


Dear Macon County Health Department in North Carolina,

Thanks to you and your need to give me a scare about cervical cancer, I will NEVER USE YOUR FUCKING SERVICES AGAIN! You can freaking ROT you STUPID agency! You ALL SUCK mold!

Still pissed at you,
-The EVIL Queen

Dear EQ,

Glad everything's okay. :D

-Daz Mel

Shangri-laschild
11-14-2008, 04:37 PM
Dear Jenna,

Thank you for being calm about your vet appointment. You're not going to like what the result is though. I'm sorry, but no playing in the yard for a bit. You need to let your knee heal so it doesn't fully rupture. Leash only for now. I'm sorry you and Mara won't be able to play in the yard right now but you'll like the results.

The one who takes care of you

RetailWorkhorse
11-15-2008, 01:22 AM
Dear Fuzzy Dog in The Sky,

My life, such as it is, is dictated by Others. Mostly as I am unable to take care of myself without accidentally poisoning myself, I must have a Keeper of sorts to keep me from doing something stupid and going off the deep end.

It has been decided, quite quickly after a rather nasty fight with my Blood-Littermate, that I will not be moving in with her. I will, however, have to stay with her until the day I can get my hands on a RV (no more than 3 weeks to a month). I will be in the temporary care of my Parents, as they feel it is for the best (and my Mother keeps saying that there is a chance I would just absolutely hate the Desert States anyways).

In this year I have gotten dreadfully materialistic and that needs to come to an abrupt end. It is the only way I can learn, apparently.

My stationary lifestyle, which has been disgustingly stagnant, will be returned to its former Gypsy ways and The Road Virus will ride again in the company of a Fuzzy One and hotdog cart.

"The upcoming year will be a big one for you," my mother said to me, "and there will be a lot of changes along the way."
"And when you get to be our age," my father shook his finger at me, "You'll be better off!"

Better off than what? Better off than them. They have no savings, nothing to fall back on, and Dad hasn't worked since March, when his Bitch-Boss flaked on him and he quit. Mom is now working, after a 22 year hiatus, and she's happy to be doing it, but they're still not saving a whole lot. Dad's going on 54 years old and he feels he's been a failure to drag us down to the bottom.

The thing is, the Bottom's pretty much all I've ever known. It's very strange to actually have money, I keep forgetting that I'm not (technically) broke. I don't have the money to buy a house back home, nor do I have bills to suck away all my hard work, but I can live comfortable so long as I keep my brain from going haywire (which it has been, so now I have two bags of Ricola™ cough drops and I'm not even sick).

I have my Retirement fund sitting at just under a grand, and my emergency fund needs some help, but as it stands I'm fine. I'm still in the habit of counting down the days to my next paycheck, but living paycheck to paycheck will do that to a person.

As of late I've been waking up exceedingly late, even if I go to bed relatively early. I have decided, of course, that the recent cold/dreary/cloudy weather is to blame. I have zero energy and I'm working twice as hard now than at this time last year (last year I was lucky to get 28 hours, now I'm currently running 35-37 a week). It's not really that much harder, but the weather has greatly affected me this year for some reason. I'm run down, and I may be catching a bug in the coming weeks. My lungs and back are already trying to kill me. This weather has made me crave sugar as well, and we all know that can be Death for me.

Days like this, I miss my Brother.

-Daz Mel

Evil Queen
11-15-2008, 02:55 AM
dear mel,

iz sorry. forgive?

-eq

RetailWorkhorse
11-15-2008, 03:05 AM
Dear Big Sister,

It had nothing to do with you, it was spawned from a conversation with the Parents.

There's nothing to forgive.

-Baby Bro

Buglady
11-15-2008, 03:21 AM
Dear Migraine,
I did not know it was actually possible for you to stick around for a week and a half. While it has been interesting getting to know you, I'm going to have to ask you to move along now, so I can write 2 term papers in a semi-coherent manner, and pull my marks up from the 3 midterms you "helped" me write last week.

Love,
stressed out student currently attempting to mainline "tranquillity" tea

Evil Queen
11-15-2008, 03:38 AM
dear tummy

please stop being all hurty! it makes me cry!

owie.
-eq

Aethian
11-15-2008, 04:32 PM
Dear CS.com

After reading 90 of the 126 pages I feel I know a lot of you a whole lot better. And for the most part your silly and I luffs you all.

-Me

Dear Kusanagi,
I'm a couple months late but I want to happily fall into the leagion of women who think your a very sexy cosplayer. Yummy!

Adoringly Yours
-Me

Dear Mom,

I love you. I really appreciate all that you have done for me, keeping me alive when I was hopelessly sick. Learning CPR and managing to save my life over 50 times when I stopped breathing. Saving my life from the person who held it in their hands... As well as being there when I cracked and went into debt to the tune of 10 grand.

I know right now I have a good paying job but while that original 10 grand was paid off I do have a new 15 grand that needs to be paid. As well as I live in my own (rented) home with it's own bills. Therefore I would love to give you more a paycheck then I already do but when telling me that I need to help you, pay my bills, buy food, and then yell because I haven't had my insulin for a month is confusing. Eventually the money from my check is gone and when it's gone I can't do anymore. And please don't make noise about not knowing that last hundred I gave you was supposed to go to my meds...I told you to your face that I would have to wait till next month before I put in for my meds.

That being said...your driving me up the wall lately. Please don't be offended if I do much ignoring so that I don't go off on you with yelling and hitting of walls. My temper is too short when my sugar gets too high, you know this. So do NOT bait me. PLEASE.

Your hurting Daughter

Dear Ex,
I know you need space and I am trying but I still love you and you sometimes put that you love me. So please don't say 'love you sorry' That makes me feel more then a little bit horrible. I hope you find what your looking for soon...this round of depression is scaring me. I know you said you wouldn't do 'it' but sometimes...I worry.

Your (still) Loving
Kitten

Dear Boss,
Thank you for being understanding about me not having my meds and being a little off some days. I'm trying and with that talk we had you have said you know I'm trying. Sorry for spontaneously crying at my case a couple days ago...I'll be back to somewhat normal soon...in another two weeks I promise.

Your hard working (and hurting) Carrier

iradney
11-15-2008, 08:08 PM
Dear RW

*HUGS* Sending you happy thoughts, and Hopper sends you licks and wags.

Love
rads

Dear TTO

I can't wait to see you again - the past 6 weeks have been hectic, what with me buggering off for work and you having to fly to HomeTown for family.

Much love
your HeartMate

Dear Mom and Dad

God, I miss you guys so much.

Love
Froot

Dear BossOfAwesome

You're not so awesome at the moment. And it's mostly because I need to make a life changing decision and I SUCK at those. GRRRRRRRRRR

Rads

protege
11-16-2008, 02:02 AM
Dear local hobby shop,

Are you trying to drive me insane? Every time I go in there, it seems you find some new way of increasing my kit stash. Yes, I do want the Lotus Europa, VW Karmann Ghia, Alfa Guilietta, and Morgan +4, but I still haven't finished the *last* kits I bought in your fine establishment. Until I get those done, the four I just listed will have to wait. Sorry!

--Pro

SengaKitty
11-16-2008, 05:55 PM
Dear AssMan who doesn't even work with me,

Yeah, I know I've called in about once a week for a while. I've also been taking over someone else's shifts and working 6 days a week, which would be seven if I didn't call in. Yeah, I chose to miscarry, just so I could miss work. I chose to be out of gas, when the only places I was driving was to and from work. I chose to be so sick from working so much that when I stood up to get ready for work, my roommate had to catch me so I wouldn't hit the floor. Yep, I do all of that just so I don't have to come in and straighten shelves, and deal with customers. I realize saturday is not the best day in the world for me to call in, but you know what? If I can't walk the 15 feet from living room to bedroom, how the fuck do you expect me to drive the 30 minutes it take to get from my house to work?

Piss off
Me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Church,
Thank you for all your help and support. I know I've only been going there since June, but you guys have really taken me in like family from the minute I walked through your doors. You've been like a rock for me, any time I need help. Now, once again, you're stepping up to help me in the fight for my son, and you don't know what that means. Thank you.

Lovingly
Me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Fiance,
Thanks for sharing your cold. I know you didn't mean to, but it really fucked with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear life,

Can we stop pissing on me now? I'd appreciate it!

Evil Queen
11-16-2008, 06:05 PM
Dear Ree or Sarlon,

Thank you for inviting me to the Cake Decorators group! Thank you thank you thank you!!

Much love,
-EQ

Shangri-laschild
11-16-2008, 08:12 PM
Dear Lady,

You are having one fucked up horrible week. Between the break in and your youngest pulling the shit he's been pulling, you have every right to be stressed as fuck. I also know that you're going to snap quicker. Considering everything you're dealing with right now, I'm trying really hard not to mention any of it. Please do realize that sometimes I'm going to need a bit of a break to de-stress. Yes I will be back tonight, but for today, I'm going to be hiding at J's while he's at the shooting range.


Dear J,

I know I came over and spent half an hour or more bitching about your very traumatized mother. Thank you so much for letting me just freak out for a bit so that I could get it out of my system. I really needed that so that I can deal with going back tonight. Thanks for letting me just cry a bit before you teased and made fun of me. Also, thanks for lunch and listening. Your dishes will be pretty by the time you get home from the range.


Dear Lady's youngest,

I've kept my mouth shut so far and that's honestly been a lot of work because you're like a brother to me. Honestly though, what the fuck is your problem?

crazylegs
11-16-2008, 08:31 PM
Dear Self.

You need to find someone with a big pair of steel toecapped boots so they can give you a *very* hefty kick up the arse, stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself, pull your big boy pants and deal with it.

Yours (annoyed at yourself)

Crazylegs

the_std
11-16-2008, 08:33 PM
Dear Crazylegs,

I have a good pair of workboots and decent aim. Can I help? It's the least I can do.

Lots of lovings,
Me

Evil Queen
11-16-2008, 08:33 PM
Dear Crazylegs,

The SO recently bought a pair of steel toed boots for his job. I can send him to your house. :D

Hope you're okay,
-EQ

RetailWorkhorse
11-16-2008, 08:43 PM
Dear Stomach,

It is the fourth time I'm eating a load of protein today. What is the matter with you that you can't keep me full today? It's because it's Winter now, isn't it? Well, I can't help that! It's not my fault you need to eat four times as much meat in the Winter than you do in the Summer months! Do you really think it would bother me so much if I wasn't broke?

Get it through your Lining! I'm broke until Friday! I'll buy you a whole lot of cheeseburgers then, okay?! Yes, with chili. Yes, I'll even make the trip to Hardee's so it will be the thickburger with chili if they can still do that for me.

-Eating AGAIN because I'm hungry AGAIN,
RW

Amethyst Hunter
11-16-2008, 10:40 PM
Dear RW,

Come to Illinois and together we will dine on FRESH BLOODY MEAT. PROTEIN, BABY! PROOOOOTEEEEEIIIIN!!!!

Also a meat-lover,

AH :D

RetailWorkhorse
11-16-2008, 11:05 PM
Dear AH,

Packing up Claudia-Jeep now! :D

-RW

CaroPhoenix
11-17-2008, 12:46 AM
Dear Body,

Please decide whether or not I'm going to be sick. I can't stand this not knowing. I've been in a state of "am I or am I not" sick? :cry: Tell me either way! Now!

:mad:
IDaR

Bella_Vixen
11-17-2008, 02:17 AM
Dear Fave Ex®--

Please don't do this to me again.

Becks
11-17-2008, 03:39 AM
Dear #1 best at work boyfriend,

Happy birthday. Sorry I didn't mention it before now. Maybe I'll make a phone call tomorrow.

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear PMS,

Just END already.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr,

--me