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RetailWorkhorse
11-17-2008, 03:45 AM
Dear Blue jeans,

I only have two of you. WHY did you have to get a hole the size of my palm under the back pocket?? Now I will be forced to turn you into a pair of shorts. You suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Go ahead and ROT, you're certainly old enough (10+ years).

Now I gotta go get a new pair, dammit. You know how hard it is to find a nice slim fitting pair of jeans in my size nowadays?

-Hating you,
RW

the_std
11-17-2008, 04:27 AM
Dear Ninja,

This sounds heavy, but goddamn, you are the only thing keeping me going. Thank you so much for everything. I love how I feel around you.

... Maybe some day soon I will work up the balls to kiss you. It's only been three frickin' weeks now, jeebus.

Adoringly,
Me

RootedPhoenix
11-17-2008, 05:17 AM
Dear folks who hurt Misanthropical's little guy,

I don't know you. I don't know them. But I am a fellow sufferer of ADD and if you make his life harder than it needs to be, I shall not be pleased. :punch:

Signed,
A chick in the same boat.

draftermatt
11-17-2008, 11:42 AM
Dear Bosses,

The reason I keep mentioning that we should hire another drafter is for 2 reasons.

1. A lot of new projects. Yes they are dragging ass getting me information so I spent a good portion of Friday doing nothing, and yes I could work on other things, but then that would be another half finished project sitting on me when something else comes up that's more important.

2. I'm going to quit. I don't know when, I don't know for what job, but I will be. It's obvious to me, my wife, my friends that I need to get the hell out of here so at some point I'll be gone. And I'm not waiting around until you find a replacement. Once I give notice I'm gone at that date.

Misanthropical
11-17-2008, 03:29 PM
Dear RootedPhoenix,

You are sweet. I also have ADD, but have never been diagnosed. Those who know me will vouch for the fact that I exhibit ADD behavior. They will also vouch for the fact that I get scary angry when someone messes with my family.

Where were you when my big guy went through hell from his teachers and principal in grade school for having ADHD? ;)


Dear Property Manager,

I have never heard of owners that came out and wanted to randomly inspect the place I rent from. I'm suppose to be happy that they might come into my home uninvited to look around?

Yes, they own the townhouses, but I pay my rent on time and I expect to have my privacy. I don't like it invaded especially by people I don't even know.

The first time this happened, I told you I did not want them in here and you acted like I kicked your puppy. I don't remember it being in my lease that total strangers could come in and look around as long as they gave notice.

My home is not smelling out the neighbors, we don't make a lot of noise, we keep to ourselves and don't upset our neighbors. The police have never had to knock on our door, so I expect to have my privacy respected. You may think I'm being unreasonable, but I am a private person and I take my right to be seriously.

If a person is not invited in by me or my husband, they have no right to come in our house to snoop, mmkay?


Dear nurse at my family doctor's office,

Why give me a hard time when I call for a refill on my pain medications? I think it's rude to call back and tell me that only my pain specialist can call those in. I, once again, had to explain that I don't have one right now!

So, you explain to me in that voice one reserves for talking to a 2 year old, that you would only call in enough for one month and after that I will have to have a pain specialist do it. I am not stupid, so stop talking to me as if I was. I was not asking for a refill on a narcotic, so drop the attitude, mmkay?

I can just as easily take my family's business to another doctor's office. I would think with all the money that your practice has gotten from my family's business that I would get a bit more respect.



Dear grandma,

Why do you insist on sending me emails that are overly religious and meant to inflame people? I don't share your view of God and/or religion, which if you had asked you would have known. So, please stop.

I also want you to stop sending me emails about how certain political figures are going to turn this country into satanic worshipping, baby sacrificing hell hole, kthnxbi.

AdminAssistant
11-19-2008, 04:04 AM
BoyThing,

Seriously? I know we're not that serious, but I'm already beginning to feel a little taken for granted. I sat aside this night to spend with you. I know a work emergency happened, but after that was taken care of...you couldn't even come over to hang out? Not even for a little while? I mean, I was freakin' EXHAUSTED last Saturday when you called me at 1 am, but I trotted my butt over there.

The rest of my week is full - freakin' full. And then it's time for nature's gift, and then it's home for Thanksgiving. So, whenever you're whining about no sex for 2 weeks, you can blame your own lazy ass.

~Grumpily,
Moi

Misanthropical
11-19-2008, 05:23 AM
Dear body,

Please get use to working full time and wait to try to nod off till I get home. Thanks.


Dear pain specialist office that I am never setting foot in again,

Those records better be faxed over to the nice doctor I'm going to be seeing. His office needs those before they will schedule an appointment.

If you guys give me any trouble on this and/or the doctor tries to once again put his warped version of the truth in my file, I will come down there and go all kinds of Wrath of God on you all. My wrath will make the Old Testament God look down and say "Wow, that was harsh!" Get me? GOOD!


Dear weird chick who sits on one side of me,

Stop throwing shit on my desk. You saw stuff on that desk that shows someone sits there, so if you throw one more thing on my desk before I get in, I will whip it at your head and say "HERE! I THINK THIS IS YOURS!"

Keep your shit on your own desk, got me?

Also, my friend was not amused to come in and find you and your nasty friends using her desk as a picnic table.

We both have work to do and don't have time for your shit.


Dear woman on the other side of me,

I corrected you on how my name is pronounced, it's not complicated and is no reason for you to drag it out to show you said it right, like I'm the idiot. I am not asking for much, just for people to call me by my name and not some variation of it, thanks.

I try to calls others by their correct name, so I expect the same courtesy.

Oh, and please stop telling me that every little thing is God's Will, it's annoying.


Dear BossMan,

One more short joke out of you and I will beat you with my cane. Oh, and while we are on the subject of my cane, stop playing with it when I'm not using it.

iradney
11-19-2008, 05:42 AM
Dear Self

You got up yesterday morning to go workout before work. Go you! Why didn't you do it this morning??
You better get your act together tomorrow morning, or I'm going to withhold coffee!!!
Rads

RetailWorkhorse
11-19-2008, 06:05 AM
Dear People Who Understand the Following,

Hello. Salute, it's me... your Duke.
and I made something that's real to show you how I feel.
Hello, hello, it's me, Picasso.
I will paint my words of love with your name on every wall.



-Numa Numa

Evil Queen
11-19-2008, 08:14 PM
Dear RW,

I think you need less Numa Numa. With that said. Click HERE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxNw1bgH4dQ) and enjoy.

-EQ



Dear stupid body,

You better not be sick by the time this evening rolls around. As a matter of fact, if you're STILL sick or even remotely feeling bad, I will personally kick my own ass. This will be youtube worthy, someone had better be around to film it.

Damn you who made me sick,
-EQ

CaroPhoenix
11-19-2008, 09:02 PM
Dear (not really) knees,

Stop hurting! Right now! :mad: I know every year when the weather gets cold, you get all cranky and stiff and hurty and you're the last part of my body to get warm when I come in from the cold.

However, I can't do much (like chase my daughter around or dance with her in the kitchen or cook her dinner) when you hurt.

*le sigh*
IDaR

RetailWorkhorse
11-20-2008, 04:22 AM
Dear RW,

I think you need less Numa Numa. With that said. Click HERE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxNw1bgH4dQ) and enjoy.

-EQ

Dear EQ,

Watching Lupin and that other guy fight over food has made me hungry. I CHALLENGE YOU TO OUT EAT ME! Where's the nearest Trips?

Also, that said, watch and listen. Hope you like fish. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l1GvDWtccI)

-Baby Brudder

HorrorFrogPrincess
11-20-2008, 06:05 AM
Dear G-ma:

My music isn't loud. You're just a bitch.

Disrespectfully,
Your G-daughter

RootedPhoenix
11-20-2008, 07:44 AM
Dear cramps,

I don't like you, and you not only hurt, but you screw several things up. And you can stop inviting your buddy, the migraine. Both of you can just DIAF.

Signed,
the body you attack.

MannersMakethMan
11-20-2008, 07:46 AM
Dear MRW,

You're hot like you wouldn't believe, but can you please get out of my head? Just until Saturday so as I can concentrate on my essay. I promise you can do whatever you like to me then.

Love, and whatever else needed to make this happen

MMM

Shangri-laschild
11-20-2008, 01:00 PM
Dear IDaR,

Mine knees are sore too :( We need to have a not moving around and drinking rum party.


Dear legs,

Stop itching. I try to make you less irritated and dry. I would appreciate it if you didn't itch quite so much. I don't like this dry cold anymore than you do


Dear lungs,

I'm sorry about the heater in the car. I know it makes things a bit uncomfortable for you breathing wise but I do turn it down every time I notice and otherwise I would be freezing cold.

CaroPhoenix
11-20-2008, 01:37 PM
Dear Shangri-laschild,

The no moving and just lying about drinking rum party sounds like a great idea! We should get right on it. :D

Also, I completely understand about the itchy legs & dry skin during the winter months. I have to keep myself from not scratching as the last time I did that, I got cellulitis (not sure of the spelling, but it's an inflammation of the soft tissue right under the skin) so please be careful as treatment is antibiotics for 10 days and for the first 3 days, complete bed rest. (Try doing that with an active child). Not fun. But at least with the itchy skin, I found out what creams I can and cannot use (I'm allergic to Suave lotion). Eucerin is expensive but very thick & very good. I also like the Johnson & Johnson lotions they have for the adults.

Commiserating with you,
IDaR

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Body,

Why is my temperature 101.4 degress Farenheit? Am I sick or something because I don't feel sick. Sure I've been sneezing all over the place and when that happens my nose drips like a faucet. And sure my nose has been a little stuffed anyways. But really ... I don't have a cough or a sore throat and my ears don't hurt. So, what gives?

Stop it right now!
IDaR

Aethian
11-20-2008, 02:36 PM
Dear self,

Stop feeling sick I should have gotten overtime these past two days. I should be at work now...I want a GOOD pay check, not a normal 80 hour one. *sniffs* Head needs to stop hurting, nose needs to stop running, and ankels need to stop hurting. I like standing straight up and not be hunched over like a little grandma. So back you need to straighten up too.

And no more pb&j's...I'm sick of them. Try egg salad...or tuna salad...just no more pb&j. And no more getting peanutbutter from wally world...aldi's taste better.

Your sick self


Dear Itchy people

Do a paste of baking soda, I find it helps wonder to help gently clean off dead skin and helps lotions work better.

Yours,
-Aethian

Shangri-laschild
11-20-2008, 04:02 PM
Dear Financial Aid,

Stop going away to office wide meetings and transfering your phones to the hold system. If everyone's phone is transfered then people are going to be holding till they get irritated and call me. Also, if you are going to insist on doing so, TELL ME! This way I can stop transfering people to an empty office.

Dear Chief,

Thank you for getting that look on your face and saying "oh hell no" when you heard about what Financial Aid was doing and how this was the 3rd time in the last month or two. Having a boss that doesn't put up with bullshit is awesome.

Elspeth
11-20-2008, 04:18 PM
Dear Uncle/Boss
For the love of crap, grow a dang spine and lay off the people who freaking need to be. Let the hubby and I go to 4 days a week like you want. I would really like to A)Keep the hubby's and my jobs B)a roof over your damm head C) and KEEP this lovely nightmare open. I don't want you living with us or my mom. You are really starting to piss me off.

Also can I get at least some of the info I need to do my projects, please? Is that really so hard to ask. it makes our lives a whole lot *&%(*$ easier

Your fav niece/report monkey
Els

Life in general
Could we please stuff sucking?

iradney
11-20-2008, 06:26 PM
Dear dry and itchy people

Have you considered running a lukewarm bath with some baby oil in it for the dryness? I also reccomend putting cream on after a shower/bath while your skin is slightly damp.

Love
Rads

Dear right middle muscle of my back

OW :cry:

Rads

Dear TTO

*rowr*

:eyewaggle:
Rads

Evil Queen
11-20-2008, 06:28 PM
Dear self,

Get to writing on your NaNoWriMo project! Now! You're so far behind there's no way you can catch up! Hurry up, you lazy thing! It doesn't matter what the hell you write or if it makes sense! Just get it on paper, that's the idea of this exercise! Just do it!

Needing motivation,
-EQ

AdminAssistant
11-20-2008, 06:38 PM
BoyThing,

I'm going to try really hard to get all of my work done tonight - so if your work makes you stay late or tries to give you extra work to do at home, could you just tell them to take a flying leap off a cliff?

Thx,
moi

Dear Students,

Thank you for all the e-mails. It shows that you're actually paying attention, asking questions, and give a damn. But damn are you guys flooding my inbox.

Sheesh.

~ Your cranky, tired, overworked, underpaid TA

CaroPhoenix
11-20-2008, 07:42 PM
Dear EQ,

The story is finished. It's not pretty. It's very rough. And incredibly short (:cry:). Sorry!

But, it rhymes! Not sure why, but it ended up a little poem. Hope you like it.

Sincerely,
IDaR

smileyeagle1021
11-20-2008, 08:10 PM
Dear residents of Murray-Taylorsville,
Please stop trying to kill me with your bad driving every time I enter either of your oh so fine cities.

kthnxbye
smiley

Misanthropical
11-21-2008, 05:02 AM
Dear weird woman who sits next me,

Have you completely lost your mind? No, really, have you? You go to BossMan to tell him I look like I have been punched and he should talk to me about it.

Instead of dragging him into your hallucination, you could have asked me and I would have told you that my husband would rather cut off his own arm than to ever raise it to hurt me.

I would have explained that I suffer from insomnia, which causes huge dark circles under my eyes. So, no, there is no beating to it.

Instead you stared at me like some crazed stalker all day. I was wondering what your problem was, but wasn't really interested in hearing how your staring at me was "God's Will" or something equally as weird, so I didn't ask.

Next time you are interested in my personal life, just ask me and I may or may not answer you, but at least you won't make a complete fool of yourself.


Dear BossMan,

I expect to be making more than Whiner by Feb. I mean it! I do twice the work with a lot less mistakes than her, so I damn well better be paid better than her! I don't annoy the hell out of you like she does, you don't have to look over my shoulder to make sure I'm getting my work done, so why do I get paid less?

If my pay doesn't surpass hers real soon, I will just act like she does and when you question why my work ethic went in the toilet, why am I always complaining and why am I always nagging you, I will explain I am just emulating the person who is worth more than I am to the company. We both know we don't want that, right?

You do not know how truly angry I am about this, since I rarely show anger, but it may just come out.

RetailWorkhorse
11-21-2008, 06:04 AM
Dear Stomach,

In the past two days, that's 48 hours as of 2:15 am, you have processed 8 bowls of cereal, a box of macaroni and cheese mixed with chili powder and two (count them TWO) pounds of ground beef, four single serving pepperoni pizzas, a 1 pound box of prunes, eight bottles of water, two bottles of Seirra mist, a can of Root beer, half a gallon of Orange Juice, and four of those Atkins granola bars with the chocolate chips.

Currently you are wading through a box of sugar free fig bars and you have no intentions of stopping.

It's not Dead Winter yet, get a grip on yourself!

-The Brain of the Operation.

iradney
11-21-2008, 06:30 AM
Dear RW

Apparently adding some oats to mince while cooking it bulks it up a bit...I'm not sure of the oat/mince ratio however....

Love
Rads

RetailWorkhorse
11-21-2008, 07:40 AM
Dear Rads,

Usually when I add oats to Mince, I'm making meatloaf. Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. I'll wash dishes and make up some meatloaf. It's been a long time since I had meatloaf. My only problem with it is....well....I tend to eat it all. :o And that's in the Summer. Just imagine if I made it now.

Wouldn't last 15 minutes.

-RW

iradney
11-21-2008, 12:40 PM
Dear RW

Aww shucks :(

*HUGS*

Rads

PS have you considered adding soy mince to the meat mince? You can't really taste the difference....

Dear Sarlon

OMG LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THE WEB COMIC THANK YOU THANK YOU!
It is truly epic!

Rads

Evil Queen
11-21-2008, 04:23 PM
Dear IDaR,

I'm looking forward to it! :D

Waiting,
-EQ




Dear RW,

Sugar I told you, this is normal. Just overeat at Turkey Day and you should be okay. It's just the changing of the seasons.

-EQ

monolayth
11-21-2008, 05:48 PM
Dear Rads,
What web comic? please?

Curious,
Monolayth

Dear RW
good lord boy. i second your sister's advice hang on till turkey day, then eat the house lol.

amused,
monolayth

iradney
11-21-2008, 06:03 PM
Dear Mono

http://www.dominic-deegan.com
I laughed
I cried
I sat on the edge of my seat
I got NO work done...

Rads :D

Evil Queen
11-21-2008, 06:15 PM
Dear Rads,

Oh boy, I've been looking for this but never could remember the name of the comic.

-EQ

SengaKitty
11-21-2008, 06:19 PM
Dear SO,
I wish I could sleep like you.... It's funny cause you used to wish you could sleep like me. Thanks for stealing my sleep..
The very sleepy
Me

RetailWorkhorse
11-22-2008, 02:01 AM
PS have you considered adding soy mince to the meat mince? You can't really taste the difference....

Dear Rads,

Bad allergy to soy, which makes eating Japanese and Chinese cuisine very hard.

-RW


Dear RW,

Sugar I told you, this is normal. Just overeat at Turkey Day and you should be okay. It's just the changing of the seasons.

-EQ

Dear EQ,

FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

-RW


Dear RW
good lord boy. i second your sister's advice hang on till turkey day, then eat the house lol.

amused,
monolayth

Dear Mono,

Must......eat.......waffles........*NOMNOMNOM*

-RW

Amethyst Hunter
11-22-2008, 03:53 AM
Dear folks who hurt Misanthropical's little guy,

I don't know you. I don't know them. But I am a fellow sufferer of ADD and if you make his life harder than it needs to be, I shall not be pleased. :punch:

Signed,
A chick in the same boat.

I'll help. I like to play with sharp stabbity things... *scary smile*

- Also an ADDer

--

Dear computer repair place/EQ/EQ's SO,

THANK YOU for your combined efforts which are responsible for my computer getting back on its feet, so to speak. :worship:

- AH

--

Dear cold (as in, illness),

You suck. Go away - and STAY gone, dammit. :mad:

--

Dear NyQuil,

YOU ARE GOD.

RetailWorkhorse
11-22-2008, 03:59 AM
Dear Chocolate Lab Sleeping On My Dirty Clothes,

1) You're safe here, so no need for nightmares.

2) What the frick is your name?!

-The One Who Rescued You

Misanthropical
11-22-2008, 04:34 AM
Dear husband,

You have never really disappointed me before. You don't do anything that would even have the appearance of impropriety. We still make each other happy, but with what you are going to do is going to disappoint me more than I have ever been disappointment in you before.

I tried to talk to you in a rational manner, I have cried, I have yelled and you still want to do this. You think I'm over reacting. I am not, but if you walk out that door tomorrow my disappointment will grow. Watch that it doesn't grow to a point that it finally goes away and I don't care what you do anymore.

I tell you this because I love you, because I treasure the time we have together. You are ripping my heart apart with this. DO NO DO THIS! IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WILL NOT DO THIS!

If you walk out that door to go to a weekend job, I will be sad for awhile, but it might grow to indifference, since the road for more money to pay the bills leads away from me and spending time with me and our children.

I took on a full time job which is hard as hell, but I did it because I knew I would be bringing in more money and we would have our weekends together.

That job you are taking does not nearly bring in what I do. My job pays me more than your weekend job. I find it a slap in the face that you are so set on getting the money that you have lost sight of your wife. You know the woman crying in the car? Those were not tears of anger, they were tears of sorrow. I saw me losing the love of my life because he is too busy trying to earn even more money.

I don't care that it's only for a few months, what happens then? What if the bills get behind again? My heart can not take this.

I left a man basically at the alter, because of his pursuit of money. Yes, he loved me and still does, but I don't love him anymore. I LOVE YOU! you gave me three beautiful children, don't take their father away from them.

YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART! STOP IT!

You guys might think I'm over reacting and I probably am, but I rarely see the love of my life as it is and now he wants to take that time away from me. If he walks out the door tomorrow he will disappoint me, more than he realizes.

iradney
11-22-2008, 07:18 AM
Dear Rads,

Bad allergy to soy, which makes eating Japanese and Chinese cuisine very hard.

-RW





Dear RW

:( Come over, I'll feed you lasagne till you pop!

Rads

RetailWorkhorse
11-22-2008, 07:25 AM
Dear RW

:( Come over, I'll feed you lasagne till you pop!

Rads

Dear Rads,

Deal!

-RW



Dear Weather Gods,

Today it snowed. Make it go away. Seriously. I am not kidding. Did it really look like I wanted it to snow? It's not funny. I should not have to suffer through January-type weather until, get this, JANUARY! It is far too cold far too early. If you do not cease and desist, I will be forced to come up there and kick your asses all the way to Mount Olympia.

Don't think I won't do it. I have access to the Occult and have a limited understanding of it. Do you think that makes me more dangerous or less dangerous?

I rather thought that would get your attention and I have no doubt that you are pissed that a lowly Human would even think such things. Well, guess what.

I'm not any kind of Lowly Human. I am a Self-Loathing Human. Somehow, I do believe that makes me much, much, worse.

That is all.
-The Mel

RootedPhoenix
11-22-2008, 11:08 AM
Dear Misanthropical,

You're not overreacting. That sounds perfectly awful. :(

Hoping he changes his mind,
--RootedPhoenix

Dear Bigelow,

Your Orange & Spice tea is awesome.

Slightly warmer now,
collector of herb teas

RootedPhoenix,

Please drink all that herb tea you've collected. Now is a good time, seeing as how it's cold and November-y.

Also, STOP buying all that wonderful Japanese music. You're making me cry.

-your wallet.

Misanthropical
11-22-2008, 01:51 PM
Dear RootedPhoenix,

He didn't change his mind. :cry:

Also, Bigelow tea rocks! I have some Earl Gray and Chai that I keep in my desk. The orange sounds good, so I may have to pick some of that up next time I'm at the store.


Dear friend,

Thank you for trying to cheer me up last night. You knew that nothing was going to really work, but you tried anyway.


Dear BossMan,

Thank you for being concerned if I was being hurt, even though I wasn't. I'm glad to see that you would have cared if I had been.

I didn't react well to what you were trying to do, because it never crosses my mind that people would think my husband would ever think to raise his hand to me.

I do appreciate what you were trying to do even if I wasn't one who needed the help.


Dear people of PA,

Why are all of you so surprised when it gets cold in Nov? It happens almost every year and you all act like you didn't see it coming.

We won't go into how you all lose your collective shit when it snows.

Evil Queen
11-22-2008, 03:30 PM
Dear computer repair place/EQ/EQ's SO,

THANK YOU for your combined efforts which are responsible for my computer getting back on its feet, so to speak. :worship:

- AH


Dear Amethyst,

Oh good. The SO had asked me just yesterday if I'd heard anything about your computer or you. Glad to know everything's working out! I'll see you online! :D

-EQ

AdminAssistant
11-22-2008, 04:56 PM
BoyThing,

Next time you suggest we watch a scary movie and then fall asleep in the middle, I'm pouncing on you. That's not nice. And Videodrome? I mean, I know I like weird stuff, but it was a bit much even for me.

~ Your GirlThing

the_std
11-22-2008, 06:29 PM
Dear Ninja,

... About damn time! But let's try again when I haven't been awake for 23 hours straight.

Hee hee hee,
Me

iradney
11-22-2008, 07:54 PM
Dear TTO

Thanks for not running away screaming when I had my mini-breakdown this afternoon. Thanks for helping me get through it, and then giving me some tough love.
I love you

Rads

Dear Self

This self-loathing needs to stop. You're not a failure. You're not a horrible person. You are not worthless. Keep it together. And by keep it together, I don't mean let everything build up until you can't keep it in and burst into tears while walking the dog.

Rads

Misanthropical
11-22-2008, 08:06 PM
Dear doctor,

You rock out loud! Thank you so much for the Ambien! I slept really well last night. I did write a weird rant after I took it, but I had a point.


Dear idiot neighbor,

Keep revving that motorcycle all the time for no reason and I will feed it to you. I don't need to hear you revving that thing for 30 minutes at a time. Go get the attention you so desperately want somewhere else.


Dear other neighbor,

For all the years we have lived here, I have seen you working on that car every single second you can. Don't you think it's time to tow it to the dump if after 4 years you still can't get it running?

CaroPhoenix
11-22-2008, 09:37 PM
Dear Work,

I'm returning on November 29. Are you ready for me? I'm not sure if I am. I liked having Saturdays off where I can do things with my daughter ('cos interesting stuff is always scheduled for Saturdays).

Would I be selfish if I quit?

Mulling,
IDaR

Misanthropical
11-22-2008, 09:55 PM
Dear IDaR,

I have looked at the pictures on my desk of my children and wanted to quit right then and go home to be with them. :(

Now that I work full time I rarely see them and that makes me a sad panda. I do see the little guy before he goes to school, but he is the only one.


Dear little guy,

I think by all the kisses and hugs I have been getting that you miss me during the week, or are you just trying to get caught up on all the kisses and hugs I missed? either way, I'm not complaining. :kiss: :love:


Dear laundry and house work,

Could you all please get things done while I'm at work, so that I don't spend most of the weekend catching up on it all? Thanks.

Becks
11-23-2008, 04:56 AM
Dear various bra makers,

Would it really kill you to make cute/sassy/whatever bras in 38DD? I'm sick to death of plain, boring colors and I can't afford to hit up FOH all the time.

Almost considering a reduction,

me

SorryIsGoodEnough
11-23-2008, 05:14 AM
Dear Becks,

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I'm a 36F, and most stores don't even sell my cup size in ANY COLOR, even plain beige and black!

I feel your pain.

Becks
11-23-2008, 05:17 AM
Dear SIGE,

That sucks.

We should start a letter writing campaign. Or learn how to make our own bras.

--Becks

Misanthropical
11-23-2008, 05:19 AM
Dear bra makers,

How about making one for just comfort? One where the straps don't slide down. kthnxbi.


Dear husband,

Yes, I am still mad at you and buying me things isn't going to get me to forgive you.

I don't want you to buy me things when I'm mad as hell. I want you to go in tomorrow and tell them you quit, because it isn't worth the wedge it's putting between us.

I wasn't going to play all snuggly on the couch and watch a movie with you, because you would have taken that as a sign I forgive you, that won't happen till you decide that I am more important than some low paying job.

A Dunkin Doughnuts coffee would help a little. Light cream, no sugar, just six Splenda packets.


Dear BossMan,

I'm going to be switching things out on my desk with an empty desk, so I can lock my desk when I'm not there. I could use help doing it though. So, if you help me with this I will try not to be too upset with you that I didn't get an immediate raise.


Dearest daughter,

You school project is costing us more money than it should. A lot more money. We can't afford to have you do all these expensive projects. If your teacher has a problem with this, tell her to call me.

Oh, and it's your turn to do the dishes, stop putting it off.


Dear guy at the bakery,

What was the purpose of taking two huge boxes of all the good cookies. You didn't leave a single one!! I just wanted two cookies, but no, piggy you took them all.

I get real grouchy with out cookies, so don't do it again or I will beat you to death with a roll of hard crust bread and take them from you.

RetailWorkhorse
11-23-2008, 05:59 AM
Dear Brother-Person-That's-Not-Related-To-Me,

I will be in high heels, a short skirt, and a long jacket. Don't make me come over there, it's hard to dance in these things.

-The One And Only Mel-Thing

smileyeagle1021
11-23-2008, 07:02 AM
Dear RW

This thread is useless without pics :D

sincerely
Smiley

AdminAssistant
11-23-2008, 02:28 PM
Another note to bramakers,

How about the cute stuff in 38C? Just because my band size is over 36 doesn't mean I don't want pretty bras. And you 'plus size' bra makers don't go down that far. I needs pretty underthings!!

Dear shopping gods,

I'm starting Christmas shopping today with 3 friends. Help me find cheap things, ok? And don't let me get depressed whenever they're spending time in stores like Express that I can't shop in.

Dear BoyThing,

New rule - don't call me after midnight. It's very sweet that you wanted to see me after you had been out at the bars with your friends, but I was asleep! Next time, send a text. If I'm awake, I'll get it, if I'm asleep, it won't wake me up.

~GirlThing

SorryIsGoodEnough
11-23-2008, 08:10 PM
Dear Self:

Let it begin. You have finally accepted that you aren't a sweet, cuddly woman. You don't really believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men.

You are NOT a good person. But that's okay. You're not a bad person either. Now that you've accepted it, stop pretending. You're only leading people on when they think they've got a sweet deal.

Love,
H.Baby

Dear Bra-Makers,

I would LOVE to not fall out of your bras if I decide to jump up once. I hate adjusting. Please to make fitting bras.

kthxbai,
H.Baby

the_std
11-23-2008, 08:53 PM
Dear Ice Man,

I missed you. Please come to visit me.

Nostalgically,
Me

CaroPhoenix
11-23-2008, 10:29 PM
Dear every female on CS who wants a new bra,

We females should start our own bra making company. :D

What say we?

IDaR

monolayth
11-23-2008, 10:42 PM
Dear IDR,

Sounds great, Cusotmer's suck bras. I can imagine the letter writting about the brand name. But yeah......starting to sound like a good idea. Might have to look into it.

Laughing,
Monolayth

Evil Queen
11-23-2008, 11:03 PM
Dear Brother-Person-That's-Not-Related-To-Me,

I will be in high heels, a short skirt, and a long jacket. Don't make me come over there, it's hard to dance in these things.

-The One And Only Mel-Thing
...Are those my heels? :angel:

Dear RW

This thread is useless without pics :D

sincerely
Smiley

Dear Smiley,
Das Mel is cute in that get up too. Almost girl-like! :D
-I dress up my baby brother in girl clothes.

Dear Lovely Ladies in Dire Need of Over-The-Shoulder-Boulder-Holders,
It's called Torrid.com. Google it. Love it.

-Smalls.


Dear Back,
Please stop hurting.

Dear Dishes,
I spent 4 hours cleaning all of you. Stay clean this week or heads will ROLL!

-Achy, Pruney, Evil Queen

RetailWorkhorse
11-24-2008, 02:08 AM
...Are those my heels? :angel:

Dear EQ,

Yes. Yes, they are. You can have them back now. I need a new pair of hightops, my heels are killing me.

-Daz Mel

RetailWorkhorse
11-24-2008, 03:11 AM
Dear Fuzzy Dog In The Sky,

Remember that Silver Lining thing we were talking about? My Silver Lining is Spring of '08. That's an awfully long time from now. Can you show me a Silver Lining in the Here And Now?

-Your Devoted

draftermatt
11-24-2008, 11:41 AM
Dear Mrs. Drafter,

Congratulations! You passed, and you're now an RN!

Woo!

smileyeagle1021
11-24-2008, 12:27 PM
Dear Smiley,
Das Mel is cute in that get up too. Almost girl-like! :D
-I dress up my baby brother in girl clothes.



Dear EQ
is that implying that he's not cute without that get up :p

because with the few pics I've seen of Das Mel he seems cute in normal get up too ;)

sincerely
Smileyeagle

Dear roommate,
yesterday you were telling me about your gay brother... why must you tease me like this... there is yet another person who I probably would like and HE"S NOT SINGLE!!!!!

Sincerely,
I've been single for way to :censored: long aka Smiley

CaroPhoenix
11-24-2008, 12:28 PM
Dear mono,

I love the brand name ... however, you might be right. We might have to change the name to get people to buy it. Let me know if you find out anything on how to make bras!

Hopefully,
IDaR

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear me,

Please stop sneezing.

That is all.

me

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Rum,

It's great you want to completely change our eating habits now that you're home from the New Age-y, Touchy-Feely Leadership Training school. However, can't we do it gradually? I don't want to have to spend $200+ every 2-3 weeks so we can have everything you want us to eat all the time. I don't think our bank account will like us very much.

And besides, I sometimes like things that are bad for me. (I married you, didn't I? :p)

Lovingly,
Mrs. Rum

Becks
11-24-2008, 11:08 PM
Dear IDAR,

That's a damn snazzy idea. :D

--Becks

CaroPhoenix
11-25-2008, 12:31 AM
Dear Becks,

I try to have snazzy ideas. How about this one: The bras we all make can be named the "The Satinsts". :ashamed: Okay ... so maybe that wasn't a great idea.

:roll:
IDaR

RootedPhoenix
11-25-2008, 12:43 AM
Dear IDR and Becks,

I have a slogan (like "We Will Rock You"). "We won't, we won't poke you."

... >.>
....<.<
:ashamed:

Dear cat,

Please warn me when you've had enough snuggling. It's no fun to have you climbing over my shoulder and down my back. Wiggle or squirm or something.

--your auntie-like human

Evil Queen
11-25-2008, 01:32 AM
Dear CS.com

Today is not only XXDarrianX's birthday, but The DataJagers' (my SO) birthday as well.

Today I baked "birthday" cake here by dubbed The Oreo Cake. Enjoy a slice or two.

http://i478.photobucket.com/albums/rr150/evilqueennow/CAKE/Ryan_Cake_Slice.jpg

http://i478.photobucket.com/albums/rr150/evilqueennow/CAKE/WholeCake.jpg

Don't you wish you lived near me so I could make you cakes for your birthday? :D

Much love,
-EQ

RetailWorkhorse
11-25-2008, 03:18 AM
Dear EQ
is that implying that he's not cute without that get up :p

because with the few pics I've seen of Das Mel he seems cute in normal get up too ;)

sincerely
Smileyeagle

Boy, my ears sure are burning.


Don't you wish you lived near me so I could make you cakes for your birthday? :D

Much love,
-EQ


Dear EQ,

You. And your sugary cakes. SUCK. :cry:

-Wants cake, too.

Amethyst Hunter
11-25-2008, 05:46 AM
Don't you wish you lived near me so I could make you cakes for your birthday? :D

Yes. Yes, I do. (Move to Illinois. You know you want to.)

And happy birthday to DataJager! :)

--

Dear Miserable Migraine,

GO AWAY GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!

Sick of being sick of something, be it colds or migraines, all this FREAKING MONTH,

Me

--

Dear bitch who is trying to fuck with my brother's family's rent,

FUCK YOU. (And quit it.)

Me

--

crazylegs
11-26-2008, 09:49 AM
Dear Self,

Don't you dare blow this, no pressure or anything but she is the *only* young lady to show any interest in 16 months.

Like I said, no pressure...

Crazylegs

iradney
11-26-2008, 11:01 AM
Dear Self,

Don't you dare blow this, no pressure or anything but she is the *only* young lady to show any interest in 16 months.

Like I said, no pressure...

Crazylegs

Dear Pooks

Worry not, she wouldn't show interest if she weren't...ya know...interested? Just be your charming, funny self and if she has any taste, she'll be putty in your hands!

*squishies*
Love
B

RootedPhoenix
11-26-2008, 01:34 PM
Dear crazylegs,

Good wishes sent your way. Dating is both fun and worrysome stuff.

-- Me.

Dear (not really) migraines,

DIAF. Really. For everyone.

-- Me.

Dear digestive tract,

ARGH. Just ARGH.

--Me.

smileyeagle1021
11-26-2008, 02:55 PM
Dear Azen,
Look, this weekend I have to make another attempt to be honest to my mother about my sexuality, I have been trying to do this sense I was 15, to avoid doing so I even at one time joined a church in an attempt to "cure" myself, and this time I've promised to actually go through with it... so no matter what this weekend is not going to be fun, either I'll be coming out to her or coming back feeling like crap that I didn't. Does that answer your question about why I'm not so enthused to be going to Reno over the weekend.
Sincerely,
Smiley.

CaroPhoenix
11-26-2008, 04:18 PM
Dear MIL,

Don't give me death glares when I waltz into your house tomorrow with 4 coloring books 2 things of crayons and a puzzle for my daughter to play with. You have absolutely NOTHING by way of play things for my child (and your other 2 grandchildren) to play with. Yes, my daughter does like TV, but only as background noise (unless it's a show she actually likes to watch, then she'll watch, but otherwise, it's background noise - like a radio).

And also, yes I'm bringing a six pack of White Grape Juice by Welch's for my daughter to drink. You know she can't drink your well water and you keep "forgetting" to change the filter in the Brita filter system (which helps her to drink the well water), so what choice do I have left but to buy & bring stuff with me?

Cee you on Thursday,
IDaR

persephone
11-26-2008, 05:56 PM
Dear IDaR,

Good luck with the MIL. If she gives you problems, let us know and we'll kick her for you. You're just being a good mother taking care of Little Rum and making sure she has everything she'll need. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise or make you feel back for doing so.

Persephone



Dear Son and Daughter,

I want to thank you both for being extremely well behaved this week when you are both home all day. I know there are times you don't get along, but I want to thank you for not having any major fights and for sharing very well.

Please remain this well behaved tonight when Daddy gets home and we get to drive for six hours. Please remain this well behaved when we get to Grammy's and you get to see all your cousins. I really love it when you are the most well behaved children there (and you usually are at these big family things).

And Daughter, don't worry. It'll be just like last year and every year before -- you will have your Christmas music on Saturday on the drive home.

So yeah, thank you for being good kids. Your Mommy and Daddy really do realize it and love you very very much for it!

Love,

Mommy



Dear Kitty,

I'm sorry we're leaving you for a couple of days. We love you very much and you will get all kinds of cuddles when we get home. Please be nice to Neighbor Lady and at least make an appearance when she comes to feed you and change your water. You know she worries when you just hide! We'll see you on Saturday night.

Love,

your human Momma

lastofthesummerwine
11-26-2008, 06:15 PM
Dear CS Folksies:

This is a bona fide "thank you" for all the laughs-- and, yes, tears (some followed the laughter, others did not) for so many years.

If there is a happy hereafter, every last one of you will make the cut because you've saved so many lives.

--Wine

CaroPhoenix
11-26-2008, 09:56 PM
Dear Persephone,

Thank you for the words I need to arm myself with for my Thanksgiving showdown ... er ... visit to my in-laws' house. :D

Sincerely,
IDaR

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear lastofthesummerwine,

Thank you also for the kind words.

Needed that too,
IDaR

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Husband,

There is no crying over food.

:mad:
IDaR

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Sister Rum,

No more being sick! I no like to hear about flu, pink eye, bronchitis, sinusitis, possibility of hurty & sore ears & sore throats. Get better soon or I go and kick your sick butt.

Lovingly,
Your Sister :D

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For the husband again,

"Thank you" for throwing me under the bus. :mad:

And for your information, Little Rum doesn't like anything with pumpkin in it. So what are we going to do for dessert if not brownies?

No love,
Mrs. Rum

Evil Queen
11-27-2008, 12:28 AM
Dear Husband,

There is no crying over food.

:mad:
IDaR


Dear IDaR,

I think I know how the hubby feels. If Thanksgiving was canceled on you the way it was on me, you'd cry too.

Can I have a tissue?
-EQ

PS. What the hell do I do with all this food?! :cry:

CaroPhoenix
11-27-2008, 12:51 AM
Dear EQ,

*hands over mucho bourbon, rum and lots of chocolate*

I'm sorry that Thanksgiving was cancelled for you. :( The food can be ... um ... I don't know ... I'm sorry ... brain is tired. I'll think of something later. However, if you have cable, watch the Food Network - lots of good ideas there! :)

:hug:
IDaR

P.S. Hubs was crying over food 'cos I decided to just make a salad instead of sweet potatoes because I'm not feeling good.

Evil Queen
11-27-2008, 01:16 AM
That's okay, I made fudge.

*shares Depressed Fudge*

the_std
11-27-2008, 03:26 AM
Dear Ninja,
You rock way too hard. I haven't had this much fun in a while! You're becoming addicting. You've kept me sane through the most difficult part of my life and for that fact alone, major squishies!

Oh, and you better be bringing me something from the NIN concert because fuck you, I want to go! :cry:
Nuzzlingly,
Me

Dear New Place,
I now have keys to you. You'd better be prepared for me to live there! I'm a-comin' this weekend, and we shall make an awesome team. I'm excited! Let's dance!
Doin' a lil' dance,
Me

Dear Life,
If you can work on the "getting me an awesome job" thing, you will be complete! I'm pretty much in love with you right now.
<3,
Me

Dear Crazylegs,
You will woo her, brave knight. You're pure of heart and sweet of talking. I have faith in you!
Good-luckingly,
Me

AdminAssistant
11-27-2008, 03:48 AM
Dear Parents,

I go back to my refuge of sanity on Saturday. Could you at least pretend to be somewhat normal til then? For me? Puh-leeeze??

~ Your Youngest

PS. Dad. You are not fooling me. Mountain Dew is not brownish-green. If you're going to disguise the bourbon I'd suggest a darker cola. And Mountain Dew with bourbon? ewewewieew

BoyThing,

I am pouncing on you Saturday. If your work tries to be a douche, if you say you're tired, I don't care. Pouncing. You have been forewarned.

I know you aren't excited about taking in a cat, but I am! Yay, kitty to play with!

If you stick around for a little longer I'll come up with a better nickname. Promise. Je t'aime.

~GirlThing

Students,

Quit your damn whining. I'm not going to tell you what grade you have to make on your final to pass or pull a C, B, or A. Not. Going. To. Do. It. QUIT ASKING!! Because I will continue to tell you the same thing - turn in a thorough well-researched project paper and study for the final. That's the secret. That's the key.

Now stop bothering me. Go away. SHOO!!!

~ Your annoyed GTA

Misanthropical
11-28-2008, 05:21 AM
Dear husband,

Once again, I'm typing out an Ambien filled rant. You are going in at 5 AM for work on Black Friday. If you do not quit on that day I will not be a happy panda and if I'm not a happy panda you won't be either, get what I'm saying?

You still haven't figured out very angry I am about this, every time you leave here to go there you break another piece of my heart. How many pieces before there are none left for you break?


Dear Ambien,

How come everyone else get's the cool side effects and I don't? I don't see any hallucinations nor has God been preaching to the butter in the fridge.

I want some cool side effects other than writing rants.


Dear body,

What is with the overwhelming tiredness when I go into work. It can't be Ambien, since I take that AFTER work. I swear it's so hard to stay away at work and that is even with all the coffee I drink.


Dear little guy,

I left work hours early, because I knew you were sick and crying for me. No, I can't explain it, but I sensed it. I got home and you had a fever, so my coming home was unexpected, but needed.

I did tell work you called and wanted me home, but I didn't tell them it wasn't on the telephone. It was through the connection we have. They wouldn't have understood.

It's a link most mothers have with their children. I can tell when one of you desperately wants me to be with you to make you feel better.

No, it's not a spider sense that gets my mom senses tingling. No, it's not even the force. Well, I guess it is kind of like a force.

I was just glad to be here with you to help you feel better. :kiss:


Dear BossMan,

Yes, my little guy was sick and I rushed out and forgot my medication on my desk and since I didn't want it to disappear or have to deal with pain till I could get back to work, I had to come in for a few minutes.

Don't get all weirded out that I take medications at work. If I didn't I would be in too much pain to do my job.


Dear new pain specialist,

Thank you for giving me an appointment in a timely manner and with a doctor who does the injections. I still have to wait till Dec 9th, but I'm hoping you guys do that magic you do to keep the pain away, without judging me.

I have no problem walking out if the doctor acts like a total butthead and has no problem with me suffering. Just remember, I will fight any bill tooth and nail if I am refused treatment, since the only reason I am there is for treatment, not to be treated like I'm an idiot.

You may think I'm an idiot, but it's a facade and quickly falls when someone thinks they can do and say what they want, because I'm too stupid to know any different. I'm not, don't make the mistake of assuming I'm idiot.


Dear Lifetime movie channel,

Thank you guys so much for showing The Thornbirds! I LOVE that mini serious almost as much as I like The Godfather.

RetailWorkhorse
11-28-2008, 05:34 AM
Dear Guild Wars,

Just 4887 more files to go! I'M COMING FOR YOU, SERRA! JUST HOLD ON!

Spazzingly as I want to kick some Big Scary BAD GUY ASS,
Daz Mel

iradney
11-28-2008, 06:11 AM
Dear *company* and Boss Formerly Of Awesome

What The Fucking Fuckedy Fuck?

Confused, Pissed Off and Down Right NOT HAPPY

Rads

RootedPhoenix
11-28-2008, 06:14 AM
Dear Misanthropical,

I hope they give you your medication. You need it; it's not like it's for fun or something. You're in pain.

You may have a flamethrower if they don't give it to you, though. :devil:

--Me

(I'd never REALLY, but I hate it when they get all stupid about the meds you need.)

Dear friend,

Thank you for sharing your Thanksgiving with me. I got to eat a ton of food, play piano, laugh a lot, and just generally have a good time. It was awesome.

Much better than staring at the wall. Also, your granddaughter? (was she your granddaughter?) Total riot. And your family is gigantic. But fun. Thanks a ton.

--Me.

Dear herbal teas,

Thanks for existing.

--Me.

Dear iradney

*offers chocolate* I hate when things go wrong. :(
And right around the holidays too. But we still love you.

--Me.

RetailWorkhorse
11-28-2008, 06:20 AM
Dear Guild Wars and ArenaNet,

For the love of my pretty little Priestess, please have a "pause" option, because my cell phone, which is my modem, isn't going to hold out for much longer and I still have 3321 files to download.

Starting to TWITCH,
Daz Mel

RetailWorkhorse
11-28-2008, 07:07 AM
Dear Guild Wars adn ArenaNet,

My battery's dead. You offically suck.

-Serra's Logger

smileyeagle1021
11-28-2008, 12:20 PM
Dear RW,
Do you need to borrow my phone charger :)

hugs and kisses
Smiley

crazylegs
11-28-2008, 06:01 PM
Dear Rads,

You know how to get hold of me if you want to talk...

P

Akasa
11-28-2008, 06:57 PM
Dear mouse,
I have never seen what you have done to the mouse trap done before. You even left the ham that was bait. I now know you are playing with me. (As if our battle in the kitchen as I was preparing to cook the Thanksgiving meal weren't evidence enough)
It is now obvious that you are on steroids and just for you I may have to get the even more powerful rat trap.

It is on!

Akasa

iradney
11-28-2008, 07:50 PM
Dear Pooks

I'll PM you tomorrow when my grey matter is functioning a bit better
*squishies*
Rads

RetailWorkhorse
11-29-2008, 04:58 AM
Dear RW,
Do you need to borrow my phone charger :)

hugs and kisses
Smiley

Dear Smiles,

Nah, that's okay. I think I just need a new battery. But thanks for the offer.

-Daz Mel

Dear Guild Wars and ArenaNet,

You have two hours. Do it to it, because I WILL be playing GW after work tomorrow.

-Serra's Logger

Dear Bad Guys,

Prepare for War, Bitches!

-Serra Ruso

RetailWorkhorse
11-29-2008, 06:04 AM
"Dear" Guild Wars and ArenaNet,

15,707 files to download? On dial-up? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE????

Look, jerks, I'm SORRY that I got addicted to this game.
I'm SORRY I haven't able to play for six fucking months.
I'm SORRY I dumped Tea on the one machine that had all my data on it.
I'm SORRY that I haven't been able to buy any of the expansion packs that I've wanted so desperately.
I'm SORRY I'm on Dial-up, but when EQ bought this game in the first place she said it was fine on a dial-up connection.
I'm SORRY I don't have Broadband.
I'm SORRY I can only use my cell phone as a modem.
I'm SORRY that my battery is shit.
I'm SORRY that I live someplace that has shit reception, which makes my battery work even harder, making it lose power faster.

I'M FUCKING SORRY I EVER PLAYED THIS FUCKING GAME.

Fuck. You. Fucking. Sideways.

I'm uninstalling you and giving you back to EQ, because SHE is lucky enough to have a connection that will suit you.

Serra Ruso, I'm sorry you ever had a piece of shit gamer like me to create you.

Why the royal FUUUUUUCK is EQ NEVER FUCKING ON LINE WHEN I NEED HER?????

:cry:

Fuck you, ArenaNet. You fucking fucker.

I want my fucking laptop to work again. At least with him I could take him down to The House and download all this shit on a broadband connection. You're fucking heavy, Bishamon.

:cry:

Pissed off,
The German Shaman.

Evil Queen
11-29-2008, 07:03 AM
Dear Forumites,

Do you think RW is mad? o.O

-EQ


Dear RW,
I know you hate the game. I'm sorry. Can you understand now why I hated it? That's why I gave it to YOU.
And another thing, your new desktop weighs the same as the Sagar did, you just don't want to take it down to the house.

-EQ
I hate MMORPGs.

Misanthropical
11-29-2008, 12:56 PM
Dear body,

What the heck is up with waking up with only 4 hours of sleep? I need more sleep than that! Stop it!

Also, what is up with all the nausea this morning? You know I'm not pregnant, so stop it.


Dear daughter,

I wanted to spend time with you, not have you texting your friends the whole time. Don't make me have to take your cell phone away. :mad:

Yes, I'm going to have a problem with you going to a friend's house when they throw knifes around. I don't want you to get hurt or worse. You are the only daughter I have you know.


Dear big guy,

I know you didn't really want to watch that show. You just wanted my attention. I was more than glad to give it to you. You're too sweet. :love:


Dear little guy,

Please get better soon. I don't want to have to take you to the doctor, but if you don't start feeling better soon I will have to. :(


Dear husband,

Do not let that little bitch ring up your sales. You know she is putting it down as her sale. If I find out she does it again I will go down and kick her ass.

You do look hot in black casual wear, but I'm not going to tell you that, because you will take it that I approve of the second job.

I'm glad you are coming with me to my appointment with the new pain specialist. I can handle myself, but I still want you with me. Yes, you can do a "Godfather" type thing if they upset me, don't feel you have to hold back, besides I think it's cute.


Dear children,

I really don't like to talk about my childhood, so just trust me when I tell you that your grandmother is no grandmother, but is just plain evil. I am trying to protect you from the hurt she can cause.

I am sorry you don't have loving caring grandparents, if I could change that I would.

She is the reason I have done my very best to make sure you all have nice happy childhoods and won't need therapy for it.


Dear mother in law,

Don't think for one minute I have forgotten you telling me that you don't like boys and how much better girls are. You said it in front of your own son! I saw the hurt in his eyes and you are lucky I didn't go off on you. :rant:

So, no, I will not be sending my children out to see you. Why? so you can dote on my daughter in front of my sons? That is not happing. If you can't treat them equally then you won't be seeing any of them.

It's my job as their mother to do what I can to keep from them being hurt either physically or emotionally, even if that means keeping them away from you.

Stop trying to tell us you want to come visit, but only if you are allowed to stay in our house. First off, we don't have the room and second, you try to take over when you visit and I will not have some other woman try to take over my household, got it?


Dear Microsoft,

I hate Internet Explorer beta version 8, it sucks monkey balls! I can't get it off my computer so I can get Internet Explorer 7 back.

You should have a patch by now to fix all the screw ups in the beta version.


Dear obnoxious woman in CVS last night,

It's rude to scream at the top of your lungs for any reason, unless you are on fire or someone is coming at you with a knife.

A singing dancing stuffed elf doll that you thought was just soooooo cccuuuuttttttee is not for any reason a reason to scream.

Did your mother not teach you any manners? Grow up!


Dear check out guy,

You acted all weirded out by having to scan maxi pads. I hate to tell you this, but women do need those and they will have to go through a check out to get them.

So, you need to stop acting like you are as embarrassed as hell to ring them up. I realize you are a teenager, but I assume you have a mother who might have told you that women need those and they don't buy them just to embarrass you.


Dear CVS employees at the pharmacy,

You all acted like I performed some miracle when I tested the stuffed singing dog and shut him off after 2 seconds. It was weird how you all thanked me for actually shutting him off.

Do you want me to hang around and smack people upside the head with my cane if they make the dog sing and leave him running? I can you know, I don't have anything to do today, so just let me know.

Also, will you please switch my phone number to actually bring up my CVS card? I had it that way for awhile, but you guys switched my phone number, so that it now comes up as someone else, so if I forget my card I have no way of pulling it up.

One other thing, why on earth do you guys have two profiles for me in the pharmacy? The one that causes problems is the one you all created with the wrong birth date.

I don't know why you guys can't fix it, so that the wrong profile doesn't come up and screw up my prescription coverage with my insurance company. It's frustrating that there is a problem every other time I come in for medicine refills because you guys have two profiles for me.

Please fix it, kthnxbi.

iradney
11-29-2008, 01:42 PM
Dear TTO's sister

I'm sorry it had to come to this for you to leave him. I'm sorry you're hurting.
But I am glad that it happened NOW rather than later. The bruises will fade, but he'll still be an asshole, and I'm so glad you're out of it, for once and for all. I love you to bits, but it broke my heart to see how you were blind to the fact that he was a crazy fuckwad who would abuse you one day.

*HUGS* welcome back to humanity, sis
Love you very much
Rads

Becks
11-29-2008, 08:07 PM
Dear Lizziebeff and Mommy,

Thank you for the kittens!!!! :bounce:

Much love,

Becks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dear" assholes,

You had better hope that me, my sister, my brother and/or my fiance don't find out who egged my fiance's car last night.

If we find you, you'll be laying eggs for a very long time.

Not amused,

me

persephone
11-29-2008, 08:19 PM
Dear IDaR's MIL,

Please learn that grandchildren are a joy to have and should not be any kind of burden. You should happily help watch after them and do anything needed (within reason, of course) to accomodate them. Please do not ever give IDaR any problems again about trying to take care of and be a wonderful mother to Child Rum. She knows what Child Rum needs and does not expect you to have it -- she brings it with her. Do NOT give her trouble about this.

Or you will find someone driving up to your place from Tennessee next holiday to put a boot in your a$$.

No love,
IDaR's laptop friend Persephone




Dear Rads' TTO's Sister,

You are doing the right thing. Please take care of yourself and do not let him convince you that you need to come back. Rads and your brother love you very much. They are willing to help you. Please let them.

Regards,
One of Rads' laptop friends



Dear kids,

Thank you. Thank you for being such wonderful and well behaved children. I'm sure your grandparents appreciate you being so good in their houses this holiday and your Mommy and Daddy appreciate it. Thank you for not breaking anything, even accidentally.

We love you both very very much. Never forget that.

Now please, continue to be good through the six hour drive home tomorrow. And yes, I promise we will get Zaxby's for dinner on the way home (it is tradition after all!)

Love,
your Mommy



Dear Kitty,

We'll be home tomorrow. Neighbor Lady says you came out for cuddles. Thank you for being nice to her. And I promise lots of hugs, kisses and cuddles tomorrow.

Love,

your human Momma

Bella_Vixen
11-29-2008, 08:32 PM
Dear Becks--

You are most sincerely welcome.

I am sooooooooo glad we got 2.

Just don't let Mike name either/both anything stupid.

--Me

************************************************
Dear Mr. Becks--

Get that car to a car wash!!

--Me

************************************************
Dear nice kitten lady--

Thanks for giving up the kitten you held back for yourself.

You do not know how happy it made me to be able to make Becks happy.

--The lady who wanted two kittens when you only had one left.

CaroPhoenix
11-29-2008, 08:39 PM
Dear persephone,

Thank you for the words to my MIL. I just wish she were here to read them. :D She really does need an attitude adjustment. I was feeling all nice and comfy in my outfit that I wore to her house for Thanksgiving. And she implied I was a humongous! :eek: Yeah ... I was not happy. Grrrr .... I'm about the same size as she is ... if not just a little bit smaller! :mad:

Ahem ... But otherwise, than that ... I can stand her.

:roll:
IDaR

persephone
11-29-2008, 09:02 PM
Dear IDaR,

Just remember that she is like most other women in the world -- I have noticed that many women, when saying something to put down another woman, are saying it because they are uncomfortable with themselves.

Know you're a wonderful woman and as long as you are happy and comfortable, who cares what she thinks? I'm sure you're a beautiful woman. I know you're a wonderful mother. And if she feels threatened or can't accept that? Well, screw her. :p

We're always here if you need to complain. You can always PM me. :D

Hugs,

Persephone

Bella_Vixen
11-29-2008, 10:52 PM
"Dear" cow at WalMart--

You didn't really have to hit my cart.

If you actually said "Excuse me," which I doubt, you should have said it a bit louder...like you were able to do AFTER you hit my cart.

Bitch.

--me

RetailWorkhorse
11-30-2008, 07:30 AM
Dear Fuzzy Slobbering Dog in The Sky,

It's 3:30 in the morning. I'm tired but I cannot sleep. It's cold outside, my Fuzzy One, and the weather has turned wet. I do not work well under wet days. Or wet nights.

It's so dark and quite outside, my Fuzzy One. I think I'll take a Walkabout.

-Your Devoted

*Laces up sneakers and goes outside*

smileyeagle1021
11-30-2008, 02:13 PM
Dear self,
You fucking coward. You had three days to say three fucking words and you couldn't gather the courage to say them. "mother, I'm gay"... three fucking words and I couldn't say them. That was part of the reason for spending $275 to put myself on a fucking flying sardine can to come to Reno for the weekend. Now I either have to feel like shit for chickening out at the last minute until next May when either of us will be able to travel again or do it the truly cowardly way either over the phone or through email... I'm not sure which would make me more of a pussy, but after spending $275 to fly to Reno to say it in person (well, OK also for a Thanksgiving visit) and not being able to say it either may be an improvement over my current shitty state.

God Damn me to Hell,
Smiley

AdminAssistant
11-30-2008, 02:22 PM
Smiley,

*hugs* Don't be too down on yourself. You'll tell her when the time is right.


BoyThing,

:cry:

Seriously? You couldn't even be bothered to leave town in time to see me? You're on call today, which means you'll be working at home all day. I'm busy ALL next week. I'm not going to have any spare time until Saturday, and even then I don't have much. I want this to work, I really do. I like you. I like spending time with you. But you gotta meet me halfway.

~ :(

Dear electric company,

Thank you for getting my power back on in 45 minutes. I now know that I have an electric thermostat. No power = no heat. It was getting a bit chilly in here.

iradney
11-30-2008, 04:15 PM
Dear Smiley

DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP!!! It will happen when it's meant to happen.
*HUGS*
Rads

Evil Queen
11-30-2008, 05:37 PM
Dear self,
You fucking coward. Ranty ranty ranty (editing for space) Ranty Rant Rant.
God Damn me to Hell,
Smiley
Dear Smiley

DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP!!! It will happen when it's meant to happen.
*HUGS*
Rads

Dear Rads,
That's okay because I'll do it for him.
The mean,
-Evil Queen

Dear Smiley,
Welcome to Hell. I'll be your torturer Tour Guide.
http://smilies.vidahost.com/ups/bounty_hunter_monkey/biggrin.gif
-Evil Queen

RetailWorkhorse
11-30-2008, 06:01 PM
Dear self,
You fucking coward.
God Damn me to Hell,
Smiley

Dear Smiley's Self,

Pass the phone, I'll do it.

Masquerading as a Good Person but just wants to hear Smiley's Mom have a fit,
Daz Mel


Dear Smiley,
Welcome to Hell. I'll be your torturer Tour Guide.
http://smilies.vidahost.com/ups/bounty_hunter_monkey/biggrin.gif
-Evil Queen
Dear Evil One,
Start the Tour over there, there's a downed angel in the hot tub and she doesn't want to come out even though she's being paged from the Heaven Ward.

-The Cerberus on Duty

crazylegs
11-30-2008, 06:31 PM
Dear Smiley.

Please, don't be so hard on yourself. You're not being a coward, what you're trying to tell her can be incredibly difficult. The right time will come and all will be revealed.

Yours,

Crazylegs

protege
11-30-2008, 06:35 PM
Dear MG,

Was it really necessary to stall at the traffic light on Friday? I mean, it's not my fault that it's cold out and I don't get to drive you as much as I'd like. Still, at least you behaved yourself the rest of the trip...and were rewarded with a blast along River Road. Still I'm sure you can't wait for the car show in the spring, and summer cruising.

--Pro

Dear Sally & Baxter,

Are you two really that cold at night? You guys have thick fur, yet you come into my bedroom (and usually pounce on me) to sleep. What's the deal?

--Pro

Evil Queen
11-30-2008, 06:37 PM
Dear Pro,

Yes, they're that cold. Give the kitties their own heating pads!
Always cold,
-EQ

RootedPhoenix
11-30-2008, 08:52 PM
Dear Smiley,

*hugs* These things are really hard to say. Don't beat yourself up. *offers chocolate*

--Me

Amethyst Hunter
12-01-2008, 04:13 AM
Dear Mom and Dad,

I love you, but you know what? You're idiots. For real.

- Your irritated/anxious daughter

--

Dear Smiley,

Take a good long look at Gay History 101. Think of all the people whose family and friends dumped on or just plain dumped them because they couldn't or wouldn't accept that their family member/friend was gay. It takes incredible courage for someone to come out and risk that kind of misery (even if one's fears are totally unwarranted). Don't condemn yourself for holding back. It's not cowardice or character fault, it's self-preservation. Nothing wrong with that. The right time will come sooner or later, and hopefully, it will go well for you. Hang in there. We at CS.com got your back. :salute: :hug:

- Me

--

Dear disgusting rodent raider invader that we heard noisily crawling around in the downstairs ceiling tonight,

Dude, your days are numbered. Either you're going to be stupid enough to make the acquaintance of Mr. Snappy Trap, or my cats are gonna waste you. Do the smart thing and take your parasite-infested ass elsewhere to some other house in this dump town.

- Not expecting that you have any common sense whatsoever, Me

Becks
12-01-2008, 04:15 AM
Dear as yet nameless kittens,

You two are so adorable, and more so when you come crawling out from under/behind the radiator.

Love,

Mommy Becks

Misanthropical
12-01-2008, 04:49 AM
Dear husband,

Do you know why I don't remember "us" talking about you taking the second job? It's because "we" didn't! You did! I told you not to do it and how it would interfere with our time together, but you did it anyway.

So, don't you dare tell me that "we" discussed it! I said not no, but hell no! and you disregarded what I said. There was no "we" involved in it, so stop trying to change how it happened.

You're damn right I'm still madder than a wet hen! You totally disregarded my feelings on the matter, like they didn't matter anyway. So, no, I haven't been acting like a supportive wife, for the first time in our marriage, that is what happens when my opinion is not given a second thought.

You do what ever the hell you want, but don't expect to come home and have me act like there is nothing wrong. I also hope you remember this when it's my turn to disregard your feelings on something I want to do. Yes, I know I have never done that before, but you set the precedence, so live with what comes.

Trust me, I love you. I have always loved you, but you broke my heart without a second though and that hurt the most. The money was more important to you then how I felt about it.

I do have to thank you for getting me 7-UP and crackers yesterday when I couldn't keep anything down.


Dear big guy,

Thank you for helping out with most of the housework yesterday, when you saw how sick I was. I really did appreciate you helping out, while I kept falling asleep in midsentence. :love:


Dear little guy,

It was sweet that you kept checking on me to make sure I was still breathing. I promise I will do my best to not die on you. :kiss:

RootedPhoenix
12-01-2008, 07:52 AM
Dear Mis,

*hugs and offers Sprite/7up* I'm sorry. I wish I had some other comforting thing to say. :(

--Me

Becks,

*does the happy dance in your honor* Yay for new kittens!

--Me

Dear self,

Stop forgetting to take your meds. Do your homework. Sleep enough. Eat well. Drink water.

--Me

Dear Fry's Electronics,

I <3 you for selling me a 1TB external hard drive for $120. I can now carry everything around that I wanted to. :D

--A Happy Geek

Shangri-laschild
12-01-2008, 11:25 AM
Dear E,

You are adorable. I would have loved you on the simple fact that you are ok with me being his friend. You went several steps above that by telling him you thought I was awesome. I have to say, the feeling is mutual. You are fun to hang out with and I appreciate the whole not trying to get rid of me thing more than you may every fully know.

The best friend of your boyfriend

iradney
12-01-2008, 12:27 PM
Dear Asshole and Asshole's parents

You idiots are going to shit your pants now. You've crossed a line. You're toast.

Dying in a fire is too good for the likes of you

Rads

SengaKitty
12-01-2008, 02:35 PM
Dear CS.com Folks,

I am currently sitting at my sister's house in Georgia, knowing that in about half an hour, in a courtroom in Luverne, Alabama, a judge is going to be awarding my MIL custody of my son. I am dying a little bit inside with each passing minute, but also know that me going there would only hurt worse. If I'd have gone last night, I would have been arrested because the tags on my car, that is in Idiot's name, are expired, and MIL had the police waiting for me. If I HAD made it to the court, they would have torn me to shreds, airing every bit of dirty laundry and then some. Yes, they would have resorted to lying, and without anyway to disprove them, I would have been screwed. With me not shoing up in court, the judge can only rule on what's in the papers. If I'd have shown up, the judge could rule on more, up to and including revoking my rights. At least, with me having made the decision I made (and don't think it wasn't with many tears and pain so bad it nearly made me vomit many a time), I will be able to go back anytime until my angel baby is 19, and request custody again.

Today I will be going out to my grandparents' graves for the first time in four and a half years. I might take a side trip to see my father, I'm not sure on that yet, same with a possible trip to see my uncle. I will be returning to Louisville sometime tomorrow or Wednesday, with a broken heart, and without my son.

However, another decision was made between the time I got here Saturday night, and right now. SO and I will be saving money and moving down here to North Georgia. I will be close to my sister (as in possibly walking distance), my father (about a 2 - 3 hour drive), my uncle (about a half hour drive) and many other family members. I will also be close to many friends. I will be in a safer neighbourhood (saturday night the neice and nephew were out playing well past dark, without worries, and in the summer, I've been on the phone with my sister at two and three in the morning and the kids were outside playing), and be close to Atlanta, should I end up getting a job there... Perhaps this move will be good for me.. We will see.

I want to thank you all for your continued support. If it weren't for my "laptop friends" as Persephone's daughter likes to put it, and the wonderful people in my life, I doubt I'd survive this trial without being, in the very least, committed to an insane asylum for life. So thank you, and know I'm here for each and every one of you, if only as a shoulder to cry on.

Broken heartedly
RHPG

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Idiot
I hate you. 'Nuff said.
Me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear MIL
As much as I want to hate you for all the pain you are putting me through, I cannot. I know that you are taking care of my angel for me, and that he wants for nothing. For that, I can never hate you. Please understand I do love my son, and after all the proceedings are over, I hope you'll let me see him...

Me.

Amethyst Hunter
12-01-2008, 04:25 PM
Dear Redhead's Idiot,

Hope you burn in hell - and that's AFTER you shit solid nail-studded bricks the size of a small dinosaur-wasting meteor and ingest a metric ton of fire ants in places you'd really rather not remember you had.

- Sincerely, Me

--

Dear Redhead,

I'm sorry. :hug:

- Me

Evil Queen
12-01-2008, 06:03 PM
Dear RHPG,

I'll be waiting for your Idiot-ex-Husband in Hell. He will not have... a pleasant... time there. :devil:

I, too, have friends and family in Georgia. All over Georgia actually. Maybe if you're close enough, RW (who is in a town close to the NC/GA state line) can meet you or something?

Much hope,
-EQ

aqutalion
12-01-2008, 06:07 PM
Dear boss and HR,

You're not fooling me. I wasn't born yesterday, no matter what your review says. You're not "concerned" about what I wrote, you're "concerned" about the fact that people saw what I wrote. If you were concerned about the issue itself, you would have done something by now. It's been going on for a year. Furthermore, since I took the message off my whiteboard, it seems to have been swept under the carpet again. I'm not surprised.

RootedPhoenix
12-01-2008, 11:08 PM
Dear RHPG,

*mountains of hugs* I'm sorry. I have prayers and good thoughts coming your way.

--Me.

Becks
12-02-2008, 05:06 AM
Dear RHPG,

Oodles of hugs.

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Lizziebeff and Mommy,

Thank you again!!!!!

Much love,

Becks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear still unnamed kittens,

I love you both, but as soon as you're old enough you're getting declawed.

And my ears are NOT chew toys.

Love,

me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear MOTHİ,

I'm glad you're enjoying the new laptop. I can't wait to play with it. Maybe tomorrow night or Wednesday...or something.

However, I didn't really like Arrested Development when it was on the air. I can't imagine spending what free time I have watching it on YouTube. Please stop asking me to watch it, and quit with the damn summaries.

Love,

me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dear" bills,

You suck. I hate you. I'm next to broke.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,

me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear T,

I still miss you. I should call one of these days.

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear whoever's in charge of snowplowing in Green Bay,

On the busy roads, you seem to rock. On the side streets you suck. And NOT in a good way.

*hiss*,

me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear self,

Don't be so angry at yourself. I'm sure that someone did the same thing at least once.

And nobody seemed upset.

--me

SengaKitty
12-02-2008, 05:43 AM
Dear SO,

I love you, I miss you, I wish you were here. I can't wait to get home so you can take away the hurt, that is, as much as is possible. I can't wait to see you and curl up with you on the couch. And I really can't wait to see what you think of my hair :D

And thank you for agreeing to move to Georgia! I know you don't want to come back south, but I also know you understand what it means to me to be closer to both our families, and how important it is to me for us to live in a safe place for our kids, where we're more likely to be able to raise a family and stay in the same place for a long time.

I love you love you love you love you love you!
Lovingly forever yours
RHPG

NimrodJess
12-02-2008, 06:07 AM
Dear Becks,

For the sake of your little unnamed balls of love, please don't declaw them. Declawed cats can't defend themselves, clean themselves properly, stretch their back and legs properly, walk properly, and you are essentially cutting off parts of their little kitty fingers. There are lots of alternatives out there to declawing. I implore you to research it a bit before you make your final decision.

-Foster mom to more than 30 strays and feral cats in the last 2 years who have all kept their claws

iradney
12-02-2008, 09:45 AM
Dear 2008

The last half of you has sucked donkey balls. 2009 had better be a bumper year, or else!

Rads

crazylegs
12-02-2008, 09:52 AM
Dear B,

I shouldn't laugh, but that *is* quite an amusing image! *snerk*

P

iradney
12-02-2008, 10:45 AM
Dear P

OMG you're right!! *snerk*
*HUGS*

B

Evil Queen
12-02-2008, 08:21 PM
Dear self,

You have a job interview at 9am and 10am at two vastly different hotels. You better make it to both or I'm going to cry.
-EQ

Dear CS buddies,
Wish me LUCK! :wave:
-EQ

PizzaDrone
12-02-2008, 08:49 PM
Good luck, EQ!

and for mine,

Dear Uncle,

I cannot believe you have been such a heartless and stupid prick. Just don't bother anymore. At all.

From the entire family.

SengaKitty
12-02-2008, 08:50 PM
Dear EQ,

Good luck! Oh, and do your friends/family in Georgia know of any houses for rent?? Help?

Love
RHPG


Dear Hair,
Please stop being fluffy!

Dear Car

FUNCTION.

Dear SO,
One more day until I see you and I can't. Freaking. Wait! I miss you :(

Love
Me

Evil Queen
12-02-2008, 09:11 PM
Dear RHPG,

Craigslist.org helped me found the townhouse I currently live in. Try it. Just click on Georgia> Atlanta and area and you'll do great!

*hugs*
-EQ

monolayth
12-02-2008, 09:47 PM
Dear self,

Quit being so down. I know tommrrow is your birthday, I know you miss your mother. Deal with it. Dissappointment in your birthday happens every year. Also you need to go finish your cakes for tonight.

hopeful,
Yourself.

Dear friends,

you better like my cupcakes tonight.

cake batter splattered,
jess

Evil Queen
12-02-2008, 09:52 PM
Dear Mono,

Can I he'p?
*frosts cupcakes*

-EQ

monolayth
12-02-2008, 09:59 PM
dear EQ

sure, have made carrot cake, german chocolate and red velvet.

keeping busy,

mono.

Evil Queen
12-02-2008, 11:10 PM
Dear Mono,

I like red velvet.

Incase of leftovers,
-EQ

monolayth
12-02-2008, 11:23 PM
Dear EQ,

I colored the cream cheese frosting on the red velvet green. it's christmasy now.

has too much cake,
monolayth

Evil Queen
12-02-2008, 11:30 PM
Dear Mono,

Rainbow Nonpareils for "ornaments"? :D

-EQ

CaroPhoenix
12-02-2008, 11:41 PM
Dear Body,

I got my flu shot last Tuesday! Why am I running a 101 - 102 temperature??? Why? I've not been feeling sick. :confused: I've had a few sneezes and a couple of runny noses, but no hurty ears and throat. Why am I running cold and then hot? I had my house up to 80 degrees today 'cos I was FREEZING.

:cry:
IDaR

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Child Rum,

No crying over "Chick Away" or the darn toothbrush. Crying will get you nowhere. Your father can tell you that.

Love,
Mommy

Evil Queen
12-02-2008, 11:49 PM
Dear Mommy Rum,

This is why I never get a flu shot anymore; they tend to guarantee illness in a lot of cases.
Have some of my Special Chicken Noodle Soup (guaranteed to make you better).

Feel better soon,
-EQ

CaroPhoenix
12-03-2008, 01:48 AM
Dear EQ,

Thank you for the Chicken Soup! I love me some chicken soup! :)

I don't normally get a flu shot either, but my parents have been after me to get it and after my sister got really sick, I figured I did most definitely need one. :cry: Now, I'm not so sure I'll be getting one next year.

:hug:
IDaR

Cat
12-03-2008, 01:53 AM
Dear Neptune and Pluto:

Sorry I have been a bad hermie mommy....esp sorry you died Neptune. Pluto, I will take very good care of you and get you new hermie friends soon. You will have a lovely tank and new things to climb one. Just stay healthy.

Bandit
12-03-2008, 02:30 AM
Dear Neighbours across the way:

Friday is garbage day. That's when you put out the trash in the morning, and take the empty garbage cans and recycling bins IN after the sun goes down.

The key thing here is not to let your cans and bins blow all around all weekend long, even though you are at home.

Next time I find one wedged under my car, or wake up early on the weekend because of them rattling around, I'm either keeping it, or shredding them to fine little bits and put them in your mailbox.

Thanks a million and have a nice day.

Your fiendly friendly neighbour across the way.

B

Amethyst Hunter
12-03-2008, 04:26 AM
Dear Rum and EQ,

My mom has never gotten a flu shot. She refuses to because she believes it makes you sick. I've never gotten one either, and for much the same reason (that, and I just HATE shots of any kind). So don't worry, you're not the only ones not keen on getting poked with the sharpie. ;)

- Your fellow comrade in anti-shots,
AH

--

Dear Body,

YOU SUCK. YOU FAIL. I HATE YOU. You fucking better get that goddamn ultrasound right next time, or I'm gonna grab the nearest spork and do a little pre-emptive surgical removal of my own so I never have to deal with this bullshit again.

And a special hate-out goes to ultrasounding in general - I CAN'T BLOODY HOLD MY BLADDER THAT @#%!#%#!@$^#!$^ING LONG!! So get it right next time, because if this next try fucks up, I am NOT coming back for a third round, and I don't give a flying fuck if I have a damn grapefruit in there! I hate that damned organ anyway so it can rot for all I care. :pissed:

- Sulkingly yours,
Your pissed-off owner

Misanthropical
12-03-2008, 04:32 AM
Dear husband,

I'm feeling very neglected lately. If you don't find some time to spend with me, I will spend it with your brother! Oh wait, your brother makes me want to puke, nevermind. Just spend some time with me!


Dear little guy,

You really are silly on your new medication. You seem so much happier and have more energy. That makes mommy happy, because I want you to be happy. Plus, I get more kisses out the deal, but we'll keep that between us, mmkay? :kiss:


Dear big guy,

You have no idea how much you are helping me out with all you do around the house for me. I really appreciate that you go and get your little brother, because I'm not there to do it. :love:

I'm glad to see you two being the best of buds and hope you two keep that when you are grown men.


Dear daughter,

Leaving your father a voice mail to say you are coming home late does not count, because for one, I don't hear it, so all I know is the boys haven't seen you, which makes me worry and I don't like to worry. Second, your father hadn't heard it yet, so he didn't have any clue where you were either. :rant:

Yes, I did say only to call me at work in case of emergency, but me worrying is a HUGE ASS EMERGENCY, got it? Pull something like that again and I will ground you till you are 50! :mad:

I love you, so I worry. It's a mom thing.


Dear BossMan,

Have you seen that I do at least ten times the work Whiner does? Do you see that I don't spend all my time updating my personal web page, like Whiner does?

Did you notice she tried twice tonight to act like she was working by bugging the shit out of me?

Do I have to be a total fuckup before I get more money than her? She doesn't have a single bill to pay, no rent, no car payment and she pays nothing for her food. So, why does she get more pay? Doesn't she get enough out of my taxes? How about sharing the wealth!

If you would pay me more (a lot more) than her I would actually do more work, but I'm not motivated to do that right now. Plus, if I were given a raise, my husband would quit his pissy job and would have more time to spend with me.

So, right now, I'm seeing you as the person who is responsible for my husband not having any time to spend with me. You don't want to be seen as that person, so go beg, borrow or steal and get me a damn raise! Stop being a fuck head!

Oh yeah, my friend is really pissed about it too. Trust me, dude, you don't want to see her pissed off. She is from New York and I think she has to kill who ever she is pissed at, something to do with the rules of being from New York, which is why I'm always nice to her, well that and she is my ride to work. :p

Bella_Vixen
12-03-2008, 05:26 AM
Dear Becks--

You are more then welcome.

I'd do it again.

--Sunshine

************************************

Dear Mom--

I am soooooooooooo very sorry.

I know you know I didn't mean for it to happen.

It's still my fault. I should have kept better track of things.

:cry::cry::cry:

**************************************

Dear bank--

You suck.

I better "only" get one overdraft fee.

Jerks.

--a very pissed off me

*************************************

Dear D--

Where are you? I hope you aren't/ haven't been in the hospital again.

:cry:

--Hun

***************************************

Dear Rooks--

For the love of God, QUIT throwing up!

I know you aren't sick, so what's the deal?!?

--"Mom"

*****************************************

RetailWorkhorse
12-03-2008, 05:51 AM
Dear C and EQ,

STOP VOLUNTEERING ME TO DO STUFF!

-Poutingly Yours,
Daz Mel

Becks
12-03-2008, 06:02 AM
Dear Rooks,

Please be a happy and healthy kitty. I love you to pieces.

"Auntie" Becks.

iradney
12-03-2008, 09:43 AM
Dear Mis

I think you and I should go spend some "girl"* time and let our SO's see what they're missing out on.



*heads out of gutters guys! I mean gabbing and stuff!

Rads

Dear TTO

I know the last half of this year sucked. I know we're both struggling at the moment. I know we love each other. That's why I'm really hoping you'll man up and propose NEXT year, even though we talked about it happening THIS year. Life happens, I know, and it gets in the way, but if we keep waiting for "the right time" "when we have enough money" we'll NEVER get engaged let alone married.

I don't want to leave you, but if you can't show you're willing to make a legal, concrete committment to me, I might very well have to.

Love you, but wish you'd make a move already
Rads

crazylegs
12-03-2008, 09:57 AM
Dear Rads TTO,

Uh, you haven't asked yet? Are you completely bonkers? Without being too rude, ask her; I'm sure she'll say yes so what's the problem here...?

Confusedly

Crazylegs

Dear Self.

You might want to get up a bit earlier tomorrow, 11:00hrs doesn't really leave you with a lot of time to get everything done (remember you've still got that bloody tux to sort out!)

Annoyed

Self.

Evil Queen
12-03-2008, 05:58 PM
Dear... who-will-read,

At the beginning of today, I had two interviews to go to. Both went great and both companies want me. While I was waiting for the second interview, I got a call from another company and THEY want to interview me.
So this morning I had 3 great interviews. Now that I'm at home and just sitting down to lunch, I get another call.
I have yet ANOTHER interview today. So the breakdown goes:
9am Hotel Choice 1 (unknown hours at this point, will find out tomorrow)
10am Hotel Choice 2 (18-20 hours a week)
11am Hotel Choice 3 (32-40 hours a week)
3.30 pm Hotel Choice 4 (not interviewed yet)

Choices,
-EQ

Dear C and EQ,

STOP VOLUNTEERING ME TO DO STUFF!

-Poutingly Yours,
Daz Mel

Dear RW,
What'd I volunteer you for? :confused:
-EQ

crazylegs
12-03-2008, 07:43 PM
Dear S.

What's going on? I don't know where I am from one minute to the next, sometimes you're acting like I'm the greates invention since sliced bread, then the other you're acting like I'm a mere nuisance.

I'm getting a little tired already, and am wondering how the hell this has gone belly up before it's even got off the ground!

Yours, puzzled

Crazylegs.

AdminAssistant
12-03-2008, 08:08 PM
Dear BoyThing,

Smoker (strike one!)
Refuse to come to my place, I must go to yours (strike two!)
Obvious loss of interest (Steeeriiiike Three!)

Also, I regret to inform you that you have failed the 'friends' inspection. I suggest we now go our seperate ways.

~ Your former GirlThing

Random friend,

so..that guy you were telling me about??

:angel:

crazylegs
12-03-2008, 09:30 PM
Dear Self.

How'd you do it? You always go from 'pre relationship euphoria' to 'post relationship awkwardness' without any of the fun stuff inbetween? How the fuck do you do it...?

Yours (resigned to be single)

Crazylegs.

Evil Queen
12-03-2008, 10:42 PM
Dear Self,

I'm so proud of you; you got a job after looking for ONE DAY. And it pays really well for your field! And they want to give you full time hours! You're so special! <3

Maybe this year will end on a high note to welcome the new year,
-EQ

SengaKitty
12-04-2008, 01:23 AM
Dear EQ,

Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :hug:


Dear Self

You WILL sleep tonight, AND get up by 4am damnit! We WILL be leaving here at 5am. I want to see my honey DAMNIT. SO BEHAVE and wake up on time!


Dear SO

I LOVE YOU and can't wait to freaking see you!

Dear Roommates,

Be prepared. Pay rent or get out, and the first bit of attitude, guess what? Your shit's goin out the window, and ya'll are goin out the door. Unless you really piss me off, then you'll be followin your shit out the window. I'm done doing for everyone else and not doin for me. I'm sick of it! Not Doing It Any More. 'Nuff said.

RetailWorkhorse
12-04-2008, 02:54 AM
Dear RW,
What'd I volunteer you for? :confused:
-EQ

Dear EQ,

...Meh, nevermind. I'm over it now.

And congo-rats on your job! Ish proud of yooooouuuuuuuuu.

Can i borrow some cash? :D (I kid, I kid).

-Daz Mel

Bella_Vixen
12-04-2008, 04:26 AM
Dear me--

This depressed feeling needs to stop.

I knew better.

Yes, he's the one I still have feelings for, but I knew, even with the best of his intentions, it wasn't going to happen.

Go out. Meet people. Have fun.

:cry:

Don't beat yourself up over it.

--me

RootedPhoenix
12-04-2008, 04:29 AM
EQ,

Yay! Congrats on your new job! :D

--Me

Bella,

:( I'm sorry. *hugs*

--Me.

iradney
12-04-2008, 05:43 AM
Dear P

Aww? WTF? S obviously doesn't know a good thing when she sees it.
For what it's worth, I love ya!

*squishies*
B

Shangri-laschild
12-04-2008, 03:57 PM
Dear Doctor,

I know we haven't met yet and tomorrow will be the first time but I have a bit of a favor to ask. Please please believe me. When I tell you that the breathing problems aren't anxiety please believe me. I'm getting really really tired of this and the only reason it hasn't been getting me down as much is that I've had a lot of hope for you listening to me. Mom said you were a really good doctor and I'm hoping so. Not only would I like to have less problem with the breathing I'd like to be able to get back on the ADD meds so that I can focus on all this data entry stuff that I have to do. It gets a bit hard when I have little to no attention span for menial repetitive stuff like that.

Your new patient.

crazylegs
12-04-2008, 06:01 PM
Dear S

It would appear I owe you a vast apology. Things can't be easy right now what with your work from Uni, your duties that you do with <Other Organisation> and now with the news that your father may be made redundant at the age of 61.

I'm sorry.

I know you're snowed under, especially as you're now not going to be attending Divisional nights until after Christmas, I know that it has to be *dire* for you not to attend those.

I guess I'll see you this Saturday at <Duty> and next Saturday at <Duty> then at the Christmas bash! :)

Crazylegs

Dear Self

Next time something like this happens don't think that it's all down to you, you'll turn into a psycho if you keep doing it, and that's just not attractive!

Crazylegs

Amethyst Hunter
12-05-2008, 04:37 AM
Dear Bladder,

THANK YOU for cooperating today so that the docs could get their ultrasound picture and I don't have to go back there again. *breathes huge sigh of relief*

- Hating water today, Me

the_std
12-05-2008, 11:04 AM
Dear Everything,

...

Signed, Me

crazylegs
12-05-2008, 11:47 AM
Dear the_std

*hugs*

Crazylegs

ps, I rather hope it all works out in Feburary! :)

SengaKitty
12-05-2008, 04:22 PM
Dear CS'ers,

Thought u all might like to know that I made it home safe and sound around three thirt pm esterda afternoon. woke up around seven thirt -urk- and got out about eight thirt or nine... so good times good times :D I'm home, I'm safe, and I'm with m love so I'm feeling a little better.... operative word here is a little...

Me

RootedPhoenix
12-05-2008, 04:42 PM
Dear snuggly kitty,

Thank you for being snuggly and purring at me.

--Me

Dear Fry's Electronics,

<3

--Me

RHPG,

*hugs* Glad you got home safe.

--Me

smileyeagle1021
12-05-2008, 05:21 PM
Dear RHPG,
I notice your "y"s are missing... I've got a spare keyboard if you want to take one :)

SengaKitty
12-05-2008, 05:23 PM
Dear Smile,

hehe second keboard offered... I'd cop and paste the other missing letter, but h's are hard enough.... stupid keboard.... an usb keboard is appreciated lol

RootedPhoenix
12-05-2008, 06:34 PM
Dear migraine,

Please DIAF. Or let the Imitrex kill you. Either way. :mad:

--Me.

crazylegs
12-05-2008, 08:08 PM
Dear S.

You're hurting, I can see that, any fool could. I'm here if you want to talk, but if you don't the that's fine.

You've got my number, and email, and PM. The choice is yours.

Yours, concerned

Crazylegs.

CaroPhoenix
12-05-2008, 11:02 PM
Dear Mr. Rum,

Child has low-grade temperature and vomitted. Doesn't matter that she ate Ovaltine over an hour before she vomitted. She's still sick.

I'm sick. My left ear hurts & so does my head.

Where are you?

Oh, right, I forgot. Friday night gaming. :rolleyes:

Hope you like the bed nicely ice cold.

:mad:
Mrs. Rum

Evil Queen
12-06-2008, 12:36 AM
Dear Mr Rum,

If I was Mrs Rum, you'd be sleeping on the stupid couch. :pissed: Be nice to her or I'll have to pay you a visit, Mister!

-EQ

RootedPhoenix
12-06-2008, 06:46 AM
Dear LAX (Los Angeles International),

I really don't know why I picked you for my Christmas trip to my family this year. I know how crowded you are. I know that I hate crowds and lines. However, I know where everything is, and that is monumental.

Please don't eat me.

--RP

iradney
12-06-2008, 07:55 AM
Dear Mr Rum

The couch is too good for you. If I were Mrs Rum, you'd be sleeping outside!

Rads

Dear IDR

*SQUISHIES* sending you loads of happy thoughts!

Rads

Dear P

I'm glad to see you're there for S. Here's hoping she'll take the offer!

Love
B

RootedPhoenix
12-06-2008, 08:22 AM
Dear IDaR,

*hugs and offers warm things*

--RP

Mr. Rum,

Grr.

--RP

CaroPhoenix
12-06-2008, 01:46 PM
Dear EQ, Rads, and RP,

Thank you for the solidarity! :)

I think Mr. Rum got the message when he came into Child Rum's room and saw me sleeping with Child Rum & I had my CPAP machine (I have sleep apnea) plugged in and I was actually using it.

I also had to call out sick today. Darkness was disappointed. But I've still got a temperature, my ears hurt, and I've been sneezing all morning. Child Rum has a low grade temp still.

We're not happy.

:hug:
IDaR

Evil Queen
12-06-2008, 04:19 PM
Dear Rummy,

Make Mr Rum get you cold and cough syrup (it's great for low grade fevers) and one of those Eucalyptus thingys. You'll feel better.
That or a tub of Vicks VapoRub. :)

-EQ

Becks
12-06-2008, 07:17 PM
Dear BIL Ken,

Thank you sooooooooo much for fixing the Jerseymobile!!!! I'm just sorry that we had to keep you in the cold off and on for a few days.

I hope the $100 I gave you makes up for it.

--Becks (and Mr. Becks)

PS--I wish I could see your face when you see the amount on the check.

Bella_Vixen
12-07-2008, 12:25 AM
Dear MOAO-

I'm so glad I finally heard from you again. You have no idea how worried I've been.

I sincerely hope you are feeling better. *crossing fingers*

Please come for a visit.

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/love001.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)

RetailWorkhorse
12-07-2008, 05:11 AM
Dear Fuzzy Slobbering Dog in the Sky,

It's cold out. Temperatures are dropping below freezing like a brick in water.

And suddenly, I am feeling very old.

-Your Devoted

Amethyst Hunter
12-07-2008, 05:16 AM
It's cold out.

Dear RW,

Well, I guess that means you ain't visiting Illinois anytime soon... :lol:

- Playing with posts for fun because I'm bored,
AH

Bella_Vixen
12-07-2008, 05:25 AM
Dear MOAO--

I guess I spoke too soon.

I do hope you are doing better.

I wish you'd just come out and tell me about it, rather then just a sentence here and there.

Like I said, I honestly don't know what to say.

:cry:

RetailWorkhorse
12-07-2008, 05:25 AM
Well, I guess that means you ain't visiting Illinois anytime soon... :lol:


Dear Ame,

H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks NO.

-Freezingly,
RW

Amethyst Hunter
12-07-2008, 05:37 AM
H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks NO.

But we have meat. And cookies. Come to the dark side... :D

- Contemplating throwing on another blanket,
AH

Becks
12-07-2008, 06:35 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,

Thanks for lending us your car for a few days.

You are beyond awesome.

Love,

Becks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mommy,

Thanks for bumming me a few smokey treats.

Love,

Becks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear pizza that fell on the floor,

You suck. Luckily I had just enough time to make another one, eat, change and get to work on time.

Grrrrrrrrrrr,

Me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear me,


GO TO BED!!!!!!!

Gotta see The Toys tomorrow.

Tired,

me

SorryIsGoodEnough
12-07-2008, 07:22 AM
Dear Brother:

I don't care if True Blood is vampire porn. I've expanded my Benjamin Linus fanclub into being a Ben Linus/Bill Compton fanclub. You can't change that. Don't judge me!

Power is sexy. Learn it, and maybe you won't be a virgin for the rest of your life.

Lovingly,
Your Eldest Sister

RetailWorkhorse
12-07-2008, 07:29 AM
But we have meat. And cookies. Come to the dark side... :D

- Contemplating throwing on another blanket,
AH

Dear Ame,

Meat...............meeeeeeaaaaatbaaaaaalllllzzzzzz zz.

Tempting, oh so tempting.....I can't! It's too cold!

-Hiding under the warm covers,
RW


I don't care if True Blood is vampire porn.

Dear SIGE,

True Blood? .....Tanya Huff?

PASS IT!

-RW-who-wants-more-vampire-porn-dammit

SorryIsGoodEnough
12-07-2008, 07:30 AM
Dear RW,

The HBO adaptation of True Blood.

<3

RetailWorkhorse
12-07-2008, 07:37 AM
Dear SIGE,

YES!

-RW

Dear EQ,

I HAVE SOMETHING I WANT YOU TO DOWNLOAD!

(Please see the above letter)

FETCH GIRL!

-Giddy now dammit I'll never get to sleep,
RW

Evil Queen
12-07-2008, 04:34 PM
Dear RW,

Have you seen the show? Oh hell no. I'm not going to contaminate my Linux Box with poor writing/acting/boringness.

-EQ


Dear Broomy,
Your people are weird.
The Weird American,
-EQ

iradney
12-07-2008, 05:20 PM
Dear RW,

Have you seen the show? Oh hell no. I'm not going to contaminate my Linux Box with poor writing/acting/boringness.

-EQ



Dear EQ

ARE YOU HIGH??? OK, granted, they buy into a lot of stereotypes, but I ADORE Lafayette and Sam...*swoooooooon*

Please don't hurt me
Rads

RetailWorkhorse
12-07-2008, 06:40 PM
Dear RW,

Have you seen the show? Oh hell no. I'm not going to contaminate my Linux Box with poor writing/acting/boringness.

-EQ

Dear EQ,

Have you read the books?

Don't tell me they fucked up Huff's series. Please. It's such a good series.....okay, so they're a lot of gratuitous hot gay man sex.

Think of it as Written Panty Shots.

-RW

Evil Queen
12-07-2008, 07:51 PM
Dear Rads and RW,

Just No.
-Evil Queen.

RetailWorkhorse
12-07-2008, 08:08 PM
Dear EQ

ARE YOU HIGH??? OK, granted, they buy into a lot of stereotypes, but I ADORE Lafayette and Sam...*swoooooooon*

Please don't hurt me
Rads

...wait, who the heck is Lafayette and Sam?

Dear Rads and RW,

Just No.
-Evil Queen.

They really DID mess it all up, didn't they? :cry:

Evil Queen
12-07-2008, 08:09 PM
Dear RW,

From what I've heard (and the one episode I saw) it's crap. But I didn't see much of it to begin with.

-EQ

RetailWorkhorse
12-07-2008, 08:16 PM
Dear EQ,

....That is NOT Tanya's writing.

Uh, you get the feeling we both just screwed up?

Oops,
RW

Evil Queen
12-07-2008, 08:18 PM
Dear RW,

Yeah.... :ashamed:

-EQ

Evil Queen
12-07-2008, 08:31 PM
Dear RW,

It seems the series you're wanting info on is Blood Ties, which old roommate J was obsessed with. I know first hand (nearly an entire season) that it sucks hardcore. Blech.

-EQ

Dear Rads,

I'm sorry. Please no hateing me?

-EQ

Lady Legira
12-07-2008, 08:45 PM
Dear Cyst on my Ovary

Don't be what I think you might be. Please!

Me

Dear Council,

Get your act together and send the right person out before I have to go to work and get my heating fixed!

Kthksbai.

GingerBiscuit
12-07-2008, 11:19 PM
Dear Bastards who abandoned a gorgeous little kitty in a strangers garden.

If I ever find you I will smash every bone in your hand with a hammer. We didn't check that shitty little box for two days. When we finally did, your cat was skinny and shaking and terrified.

I am sure will not care that he has a nice home where he is being fed and loved. I am sure you will not care that he was so hungry he ate a can of food and so starved for affection he wouldn't leave me alone for two hours.

Can you explain why you dumped that gorgeous little boy out there? Would getting him done have cost too much? Could you just not be arsed to find another home for him? You hadn't fed him for at least two days before you put him in that shitty little box (did you think that blanket would keep him warm?) and it showed.

Can you at least tell me what you called him? Not that me or my parents want to saddle him with that name forever, we're going to rename him, but it would be nice to know what to shout for him.

By the way, everyone I've said this to thinks you are EVIL.

Not Love- the girl whose garden you chucked that cat away in like it was a piece of trash.

Becks
12-08-2008, 02:44 AM
"Dear" snow,

Be damned to you.

That is all.

Misanthropical
12-08-2008, 03:51 AM
Dear idiot guy at work,

Your first words to a perfect stranger should not be to ask them what happened to cause them to use a cane. Have some class! MORON!!


Dear body,

We are going to see a new pain specialist on Friday, so could you hold off on the pain till he sees us? Please?


Dear pain specialist,

You should have those injections ready to go when I get there, even if it is the first time I have seen you. Trust me, it will be much easier on both of us that way.


Dear husband,

It is a very good thing you are taking next Sunday off, because if you had gone to work on my birthday I would be even more pissed off than I already am.

You better give the correct response if they try to call you in that day.


Dear BossMan,

I realize you will be back at work tomorrow, but from now on if you do have to leave on a trip, could you leave us with a supervisor who actually knows their head from their ass? kthxbi


Dear ghost in my house,

You better bring those pants back before I get really pissed off. I don't know where you are hiding them, but I'm getting sick of looking for them. Those belong to the little guy and I was going to lay them out for him, but they are gone!

Give them back and I won't have to yell at you. You know you don't like it when I have to yell at you.


Dear children,

I miss you guys so much when I'm at work! If I'm home and you are all doing your own thing, I'm still here with you. I hate being away from you all. :(


Dear friend,

I think the Dunkin Donuts place we stop at should know our order the minute we walk in. I mean we go in every day before work and our orders are always the same. :D

Oh, and yes, that guy is so hitting on you! I know you don't think he is, but that is what he is doing. His face lights up when he sees you. I know you don't think he is, but just spare the poor boy and mention your husband. If he still tries I will throw him out the drive thru window, okay?


Dear guy behind me in line at Wawa,

There is a new rage going on, it's called personal space! There is no reason for you to be that close to me for any reason. SO BACK THE FUCK OFF! I wanted to smack you in nads with my purse.

Bella_Vixen
12-08-2008, 03:58 AM
Dear Becks--

Today was fun. We'll have to do it again sometime.

Preferably when it is warmer. Or at least inside.

--Sunshine

*******************************************

Dear Mr. Becks--

Thanks for driving.

--me

*******************************************

Dear Toys--

Awesome show.

Cold but awesome.

--stalker in the front row

*******************************************

Dear Bar/Toys website--

Next time, for the love of Jamesons, MENTION that the concert will be outside in a tent.

I cannot believe that. 9 f'ing degrees.

Crabbily,

--me

************************************************

Dear slutty cows (and I use that term loosely)--

I'm all for having a good time, but when you decide to involve me in your personal mosh pit, you WILL get shoved. At least 3 people away from where you were originally standing. Keep in mind that I held out for over 2 hours at that point.

Thanks for getting the point and getting as far away from me as possible after that.

--The bitch who gave you a taste of your own medicine then ignored you.

************************************************** ******

Dear Rusty--

Thanks (?) for the hug (?). :lol:

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

--fan you know by sight but not by name

iradney
12-08-2008, 05:57 AM
Dear Rads and RW,

Just No.
-Evil Queen.

Dear EQ

Granted, I haven't read the books. I'm too scared to now :P

Rads

Dear RW,

It seems the series you're wanting info on is Blood Ties, which old roommate J was obsessed with. I know first hand (nearly an entire season) that it sucks hardcore. Blech.

-EQ

Dear Rads,

I'm sorry. Please no hateing me?

-EQ

Dear EQ

Aaaah, ok, THOSE books I'll be reading then :) How could I ever hate you????
*squishies*
Rads

Evil Queen
12-08-2008, 01:37 PM
Dear me,

Nice white button downshirt.
Nice black pants.
Nice black shoes.
Nice hair.
Nice make up.
Notebook for work notes.
Smile...
I think I'm ready for me first day of my new job. What do you think? :)

-EQ

smileyeagle1021
12-08-2008, 03:40 PM
Dear EQ,
Remember, the button marked reservations is to be used for reservations only... I have friends who work at that call center still and they will ask me to hunt you down if you make that mistake :p

-former reservations slave

Dear snow,
Happen already... enough with this two or three flakes here or there, just dump on us and get it over with so we can start selling ski packages and I don't have to worry where my next paycheck is coming from.

-Me

eta-
Dear Snow,
you could have waited until after I got off the 215 to make conditions near white out...

thank you

Lioness Blackfire
12-08-2008, 08:29 PM
Dear Tree People,

Well, it's been more than the "sometime in the next two weeks" you quoted! Where the heck are you? Get over here and fix my tree before it snows again, damnit!!

Crankily,
Lioness

---

Dear Celtic Music,

You are awesome! Thank you for being awesome. :)

Dancingly,
Lioness

AdminAssistant
12-08-2008, 08:52 PM
Dear Migraine,

Okay, prospectus is turned in. You can go away now. Go. SHOO. And take your friend Nausea with you. The worst part of my semester is over and I'm ready to enjoy it, so go 'way.

Dear Body,

Okay, so, I know that you are not cool with running on 2 hours of sleep. This I know. I also know I dumped way too many differing OTC meds on you in too short of a period. I'm sorry. Apparently you're taking out your aggravation by preventing my much needed nap. Fine. I can manage for the rest of the day. But, please, please, for the love of all that is holy let me sleep tonight.


:cry:

CaroPhoenix
12-08-2008, 08:59 PM
Dear Local McDonald's Drive Thru,

When did "5 creamers, no sugar" mean "5 creamers AND 5 sugars"??? :cry: I couldn't drink my coffee when I got to my daughter's elementary school to do some volunteer work.

No love,
IDaR who really needed the caffeine

Becks
12-09-2008, 12:21 AM
"Dear" snow (again),

I guess you missed the post I made above.

:censored:,

me

RootedPhoenix
12-09-2008, 03:17 AM
Dear Person I Shall Not Name,

You have made December 8th unhappy. I'd like to get in a time machine, tie your infernal gun in a knot and cram it up your nose, thus preventing you from using it on SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T DESERVE IT.

(I don't like violence. I don't like how this makes me feel. I'm just trying to vent before I explode or break down in tears in front of unsympathetic folks.)

You fail. Indescribably. The universe may not even be big enough to hold your fail. Go away. No one is impressed with you.

Grr.

--Me.

Dear John,

We miss you here. :cry:

--Me.

RetailWorkhorse
12-09-2008, 03:28 AM
Dear Fuzzy Dog In The Sky,

*Ah-COO!*

*Sniffles*

*Coughs*

If this is the cold, I'm hunting you down.

-Your (annoyed) Devoted.


Dear Pretzel,

Warm salty doughy goodness only outweighed by the Alan-ness. Oh gods yum.

-RW

iradney
12-09-2008, 05:33 AM
Dear Fuzzy Dog In The Sky,

*Ah-COO!*

*Sniffles*

*Coughs*

If this is the cold, I'm hunting you down.

-Your (annoyed) Devoted.




Dear RW

:( *wraps in warm fleecy blanket and gives chicken soup and ginger tea*

Rads

Dear Boss

I can understand that you need me to try and finish the project that I am on before I go on leave next week.

HOWEVER. Please remember that that I need to create EIGHT chapters per *product*. For EACH chapter, I have to create a Manual, a Powerpoint presentation, an Exercise book, an Assessment and a Trainer's manual. Plus I need to capture the screenshots MYSELF and do the research MYSELF.
So in total, for each product, I need to create 40 seperate documents. FORTY. PER PRODUCT. I have completed TWO products so far. I am busy with the third. Last week it took me 3.5 days JUST to do a 103 page manual. Two days for a 38 page manual. IF you're lucky, I'll be done with the manuals for this particular product (Product C.1 if you will) before I go on leave.

However, I still need the equipment for Products B.1, B.2, A.1 and C.2. That is *Company*'s responsibility to get for me, and you and I have discussed what I need many, many, MANY times. It is simply not going to happen. I am good, but I am not that good. Even if I were to take work home with me, it will not happen. I would have to not sleep for it to happen, and I would have to have the missing products YESTERDAY.

Wondering what drugs you're on,
Rads

RootedPhoenix
12-09-2008, 06:29 AM
Dear Rads,

O.o I'm wondering too. Wow.

--RP

Dear meds,

Thank you for knocking out my migraines. Now stop making me feel like crap in a new way (even if I am glad because I can be stubborn and live through your kind). kthxbai.

--Me.

Misanthropical
12-09-2008, 12:37 PM
Dear RootedPhoenix,

I read that as "Roids" instead of "Rads". I really need more sleep.


Dear husband,

Thank you for insisting I go to the doctor. I did feel much better after seeing him. I sometimes forget they have the good medication.

Also, thank you for going with me and holding my hand through it all. You have made up a lot of the bonus points that you had lost for getting a second job.

I would make the joke that it's amazing the lengths I go through just to spend time with you, but I wasn't really in a joking mood yesterday. ;)

CaroPhoenix
12-09-2008, 10:27 PM
Dear Mr. Rum,

You haven't been home a month and you've already gone back on all the promises you made me. :cry: Why?

I'm going back on a cooking strike. If you can't come home at a decent hour, then I'm making whatever Child Rum & I want to have for dinner & you can wing it.

Despairingly,
Mrs. Rum

Evil Queen
12-09-2008, 10:35 PM
Dear RW,

Poor puppy.
Chicken soup. Hot showers. DayQuil.

Get well soon,
-EQ

Dear Rummy,

I'll help make dinner!

-EQ

CaroPhoenix
12-10-2008, 12:19 AM
Dear EQ,

Thank you for the help! :) Child Rum loves Mac & Cheese and chicken nuggets. I just need a new recipe for each of them so I don't get tired of cooking them. :lol:

Happily,
Rummy

--------------------------------------------------------
Dear Headache,

Go away. I don't need you right now.

Hurty,
Rummy

-------------------------------------------------------
Dear Self,

Are we back to the manic days again? The yelling and the screaming? The feeling that the walls are closing in on you? That nothing you do is ever right and always wrong? Do I need to kick you in the you-know-what to get you to care again? Why is this happening? You're on medication! Stop it!

:mad:
Rum

RetailWorkhorse
12-10-2008, 05:13 AM
Dear Fuzzy Dog in-ah, fuck it!

Dear Personal God,

Do you remember when we were sitting on that beach and talking about whether or not whales could get sunburns?

Remember when we were sitting on the park bench eating orange Popsicles and talking about the perception of the clouds making shapes?

Remember when we were standing in the rain wonder why the hell I smell like wet dog when I got wet (clean wet dog, but still wet dog)?

Remember when I was staring at all the snow from last year, and you were laughing at me for giving such nasty looks, and then you melted the snow a few days later?

Were you a hallucination or were you really there?

Because I think I'm cracking again.

-Melonius

PS: Why do I keep pronouncing "room" as "rhoom"?

RootedPhoenix
12-10-2008, 05:38 AM
Dear RW,

Sometimes I feel like I'm cracking too. You're not alone. :(
I think that God's there. For what it's worth. *hugs*

--RP

snackbandit
12-10-2008, 05:46 AM
Dear Crush
I've loved you ever since you caught me so that I wouldn't fall in a mud puddle in the third grade. I always rooted for you, even though you were shy and you almost never said anything. Nearly a decade later, you're a star soccer player in college, and in your senior year you were voted most attractive guy in the class. I'm sorry I turned every conversation you tried to have with me into awkward smalltalk which ended with me running away. I regret not telling you how awesome I thought you were. Chances are, I'll never see you again.
I love you.
Bandit

PhotoChick
12-10-2008, 01:10 PM
Dear Rum,
Voila! The Mac & Cheese Cookbook One (http://www.amazon.com/Macaroni-Cheese-Recipes-Simple-Sublime/dp/0375757007), two (http://www.amazon.com/Macaroni-Cheese-Marlena-Spieler/dp/0811849627/ref=pd_sim_b_1) and three (http://www.amazon.com/101-Things-Do-Mac-Cheese/dp/1423601785/ref=pd_sim_b_11).

Your library may have them. Or if thats all she eats it might be worth it to buy it.

Also the menu (http://www.smacnyc.com/what.html) for the mac and cheese place in NY, just adapt the receipt you already use.

Love,
PC

SengaKitty
12-10-2008, 02:06 PM
Dear Idiot,

If u do not send me the farking title to the car, signed over to me, so that i can get the tags updated, u will be receiving the fine in the mail for christmas....

fuck u
Me

persephone
12-10-2008, 03:30 PM
Dear RHPG,

I'm sorry he's still being a jerk and trying to mess with your life. That is not fair. Is there any kind of court order you can get or something?

Here if you need to talk,

Persephone



Dear Baby,

Mommy doesn't like it when you move a lot and Daddy isn't home to calm you down. Please stop kicking for Mommy can clean and do laundry and all the other things she needs to do today! Mommy doesn't like feeling sick!

Can't wait for April.

Love,

Mommy

SengaKitty
12-10-2008, 03:44 PM
Dear Persephone,

I wish.... I can't even just get the title and update my tags cause it's in his name..... ugh such an idiot... And sorry to hear about so much baby movement... I remember that all too well -hugs-

Me

CaroPhoenix
12-10-2008, 04:20 PM
Dear PhotoChick,

Thank you for the links! I'm going to be looking at them in more detail and seeing what I can do. It might inspire me to start eating mac & cheese again. :D

Yay!
Rummy

persephone
12-10-2008, 04:45 PM
Dear IDaR,

Does Child Rum like different cheeses other than cheddar? I know when I'm doing mac and cheese for Daughter and Son and I know I'll be eating it, I mix it up with different kinds and mixtures of cheeses. Maybe that would be something to make it more interesting for you?

Also, does she only like "chicken nuggets" (read: prepackaged, premade) or could you do boneless chicken strips cut up and fried? Cause then you can control what's in the coating batter and often can make it taste better. :p

I'll look through my recipes and see what I might be able to find that Child Rum might like. I'll PM some things to you when I get a chance to type them up!

Good luck!

Persephone (mother of the pickiest eater (Daughter) you will ever meet)

CaroPhoenix
12-10-2008, 08:57 PM
persephone,

Child Rum loves all sorts of cheeses in her mac & cheese. Right now, I've got at least 5 boxes of the blue Kraft stuff, and I'll add some shredded cheese and she gobbles it down.

As for the chicken nuggets. She doesn't care where they come from. They're nuggets, they're edible. :D I can make them, Nana can make them, the fast food places can make them, they're frozen ... nom nom for Child Rum! :lol:

Please PM me any and all recipes you can find. Usually, I try to incorporate what Child Rum will eat into the evening meal to be enjoyed by me & Mr. Rum too.

Sincerely,
IDaR

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear PhotoChick,

I have placed the books on my Wish List. Hopefully I'll get them! :)

I've also bookmarked the restaurant link. I didn't know there was a restaurant that did mac & cheese as their main food stuff!

Thanks!
IDaR

Misanthropical
12-11-2008, 05:45 AM
Dear BossMan,

:wtf: is with having us come to work two hours on Christmas eve and two hours on New Year's eve? What brain dead boss of your came up with that? We want to know so we can apply flame thrower justice on his ass. Yes, we get paid for the whole day, but damn it, I want to be with my family. My family always comes first and if the bosses don't like it they can kiss my big fat Irish ASS!


Dear friends on CS,

I'm going to see my new pain specialist on Friday. Wish me well and hope with me that he isn't a slimeball.


Dear who ever is readoing this,

This rant was brought to you by Ambien, which can make me ramble in person and on the boards. :p

RetailWorkhorse
12-11-2008, 06:16 AM
Dear Red clothed Phantom (Legend of Zelda, Phantom Hourglass) in the Temple of the Ocean King,

Fuck. You. STOP TAKING MY CRYSTALS! Those are MINE so that I may get through this dungeon AGAIN so THAT I MAY DESTROY YOUR BLOODY ASSES!

I swear to Dog, I will find CHEAT CODES to beat you with if you don't stop! I'm having to redo this a 3rd time! I GIVE UP FOR THE NIGHT!

-Hating you but wanting to molest the elf-boy,
RW

AdminAssistant
12-11-2008, 12:11 PM
Dear Students,

E-mailing me asking, essentially, "What do I have to make on the final to pass?" is like saying, "How can I get by in this class with doing as little work as possible?". And it's insulting. And you, who are not even my student, who asked "Is the final hard?" got a smartass response. Because it was a smartass question. And you can kiss my smartass, because I'm tired of dealing with lazyass undergrads!

And, you guys took your dear sweet time getting your papers to me, and I'm going to take my dear sweet time grading them. SUCK IT. Because, believe it or not, I have stuff to do, too! I have finals and final projects and all of that.

~ Grumpily yours,
The TA

iradney
12-11-2008, 05:18 PM
Dear self

Keep it up with the gymming and eating properly. Give it three months - you'll see it's totally worth it.

Rads

KiaKat
12-11-2008, 05:21 PM
Dear illness,

Please please please please please be just a cold, and not strep. I can't deal with strep right now. And please don't turn into bronchitis. I've had to deal with that far too often the last few years.

With no love at all,

Your incubator.

Dear non-customers,

NO SOLICITATION! And why the hell can't you read the sign that says 'PLEASE RING BELL?' If you break my door, or my lock, by pulling on it with all your Napoleon-like strength, I will hunt you down and make you feel the same way you make my door feel. Stop it.

Insincerely,

The Manager.

Lioness Blackfire
12-11-2008, 05:54 PM
Dear Dad and Lil' Bro,

You two suck. You suck for interrupting me during the last minute and a half of my show, you suck for getting mad at me when I stuttered out a "Bwuh, yuh, hold on a second,", and you suck for leaving and not replying when I called down the stairs for you not two minutes later, then ordering pizza without me!

But Dad, you suck MAJOR FAT-ASS ORC BALLS for then LYING to Mom and saying that I was "very rude", snapped at you, and yelled at you!

Fuck you!
Your totally pissed off Daughter / Sister

Shangri-laschild
12-11-2008, 06:34 PM
T,

Not that it's any of your damn business but I'm doing great. I adore E. She's nothing like you and has no problem with me what so ever. I'm content knowing that you aren't really as happy as you try to make it seem like. Oh yeah. And I won. He's still my friend and you're gone.

Sometimes irritated but mostly amused,
Becca

Rapscallion
12-11-2008, 06:48 PM
if the bosses don't like it they can kiss my big fat Irish ASS!


Dear Misanthropical

Do I get first dibs?

PS, thanks for the straight line.

Rapscallion

smileyeagle1021
12-11-2008, 06:59 PM
Dear Azen,
Dear God... what do I have to do for you to figure it out... do a broadway style song and dance... I'm GAY, so no, I don't think the girl from Idaho is attractive... I can tell you that she is good looking, but not attraction.

Dear cute guy who sat across from me in the tax class,
too bad I'm pretty sure your straight, but it was nice looking at you :eyewaggle:

Dear cute guy who sat 2 rows up in economics,
ditto :eyewaggle:

Dear Alan Tudyk,
I think you are now officially one of my most favorite actors... though I must say, it is creepy how good of a job you did playing a pedophile in CSI...

kaetchen
12-11-2008, 11:48 PM
Dear Co-worker,

Yeah. I know it's a wig. Yeah, I change it sometimes, but for crying out loud. Why do you have to make such a big deal about it and then go "Ooops. I probably shouldn't have said that out loud."? It happened more than once today when people asked, you just jumped in and said what was up.


...
Me

Amethyst Hunter
12-12-2008, 02:45 AM
Dear turdburglar who bought the doujinshis I'd been trying to save for,

You suck. I hate and envy you. :burnup:

- Me

--

Dear Dad,

STFU. You're getting on my last few nerves. :burnup:

- Me

--

Dear Nose,

I HATE YOU.

- Me

--

Dear Life,

Ditto.

- Me

draftermatt
12-12-2008, 04:49 PM
Dear Mark Texiera,

Please come to play for the Orioles, we all want you here so badly.

Just imagine a line up Brian Roberts, Adam Jones, Nick Markakis, You, Aubrey Huff, Luke Scott, Matt Wieters (till he's ready to bat 5th), Melvin Mora & Cesar Izturis, if our pitching is just a little better than last year (and it has to be) we're liable to win 85 games, and then more into the next years.

But if you don't want to come to Bmore, please don't go to Washington. Their fans suck, they boo during the national anthem when we say "O" in our own ball park! Not to mention most of their fans are non existent. When the O's play the Nats in DC it's 66% O's fans.

And please for all that is good and holy don't go to Boston or New York. I couldn't stand having to watch you 19 times a year in those uniforms. Or listen to their fans when they swarm Camden.

Know why O's fans stay away when the Yankees/Red Sox come to town? Because the "fans" that come are mostly bandwagon people that would get ran out of New York or Boston. I respect real fans of those teams, not these idiots who show up and destroy Camden Yards.

Please stay in Anaheim if you aren't coming to Baltimore, I could stomach that.

Sincerely,

All Orioles Fans.

Tanasi
12-12-2008, 08:21 PM
Dear So-called future SIL,
To call you a man would be an insult to the male of the species, you are a pussy and will only stand up to someone if they're not in the room. So the next time I hear you call me a damned fool don't be suprised if I toss you out of the house. Yes I'm a red-neck but even if I wasn't I won't be talked to in such a manner in my own home. You do not live here, I'm only somewhat polite to you for my daughters sake but she also doesn't live here so watch yourself.

Your PO'd future FIL

Dear Middle-daughter,
You can do somemuch better than this guy, your little sister is more of a man than this clown. He's wrecked your car twice and both times it was his fault and both time you had to use your saving to fix your car. You also know even with his so-called law-degree he'll never earn a living cause the boy has a whole lot of quit in him. You should know by now that you'll have to make the living for both of you, please dump this clown before it's too late.

Your disappointed Father

Dear Oldest Daughter,
Smack some sense into your sister, you dislike that goon worse than I.

Your Dad

Dear Oldest Son,
When you come home for Christmas you're gonna have to turn down the Hoo-rah gungho stuff a lot. I still out rank you and everyother jar-head and deck-ape cadet you school with. You've been warned as I don't give our demerits.

Your Dad

Dear Youngest Son,
You're a great boy and son. Keep on being just like you are.

Your Dad

Dear Youngest Daugther,
You're Daddy's Fairy Princess but don't push me too far you'll not like the results. Other than that you're also a great girl and I've very proud of you.

Daddy

Evil Queen
12-12-2008, 09:00 PM
Dear Tanasi,

I'd like to beat up that future Dud-in-law if you'll give me a go. :)

A fellow redneck (from North Carolina!),
-The Evil Queen.



Dear New Job,

I hated you yesterday but today was a good day and I'm starting to like you again. See you on Monday!

-AMS

crazylegs
12-13-2008, 11:55 AM
Dear A,

I do rather hope the drugs *do* work, I think things will be so much easier for you if your hormones do indeed settle down a little.

Yours, hopefully

Crazylegs