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BethB
02-15-2009, 02:43 AM
Dear Mother nature,
Thanks for being nice on the way up to visit the family, but you are such a cow for the crappy weather we got going back. I am stuck in a city(love this town so it's okay) a ways from home because of your stupid mood swings.

Dear Brother-man,
Thanks for watching the crazy kitteh. I bring presents of thanks and pictures of the niece and nephews.

Dear Sister,
miss you already. It's no fun being the only girl(besides our cat) in a house full of boys.

Dear Self,
You are thirsty. Go get refreshments of the electrolyte type.

crazylegs
02-15-2009, 12:53 PM
To the virus within me.

For a cold you suck horribly, my legs ache, my nose is sore (on the inside bizarrely), my head feels like I'm at 25,000 feet and haven't popped my ears.

Do me a favour and piss off already.

Your host.

Evil Queen
02-15-2009, 06:52 PM
Dear Soup,

Please taste good. I've never made tomato before.

-EQ

Thrifty
02-16-2009, 02:46 AM
Dear little one,

You are only 9 weeks along, and next week mom and dad get to go to the doctor's and hear your heartbeat. Please be in the right position so that we can hear the beat. Mom is a little bit scared after what happened last year, and is really looking forward to being fully excited about this pregnancy. You have lots of love and support waiting for you out here. Two families and a whole range of clients that mom works with.

monolayth
02-16-2009, 05:37 PM
dear thrifty,

YAY!!!!!, join the expecting club here lol.

one of the ones with the protruding stomach,
MONO

the_std
02-16-2009, 07:58 PM
Dear Repairdude,

Thanks for fixing my stove, I'm grateful to be able to cook again, but guh... Burnt wires and melted insulation are the worst smell ever. And thanks for leaving bits of wire and ash all over my floor. I appreciate it.

Happily munching pasta,
Me

smileyeagle1021
02-16-2009, 07:58 PM
Dear Utah Legislature,
Fuck you... you're budget cuts have made one of the classes I need over the summer no longer available over the summer meaning that rather than being finished by december I won't be finished until next may. Believe me, there is nothing I look forward to more than being forced to work in my dead end graveyard shift hellhole of a job for longer than necassary, thank you for giving me that opportunity.
sincerely,
one very disgruntled tax payer

Dear bossman,
Thanks for cutting my hours, as stressful as it will be having less pay, I really did need the extra time for homework.
Sincerely,
one very stressed out employee

Dear Life,
Didn't we already have this conversation about how you were supposed to stop sucking... well, yeah, you can do that anytime now... honest, you can.
sincerely,
oh for the love of God I need a break

SengaKitty
02-16-2009, 08:12 PM
Dear Job Corps Admissions Councilor,

Stop being out of the office, damnit. I swear you are NEVER there.. there's no reason this should be taking this long. I was planning to be out of Kentucky by the middle of this month. Well, the middle of the months here, and so am I. Exactly how long do you plan to make me wait to go? I've done everything you've asked and then some. It's not like I haven't already been through the process, and last time it barely took a month to get me through it all and on the plane to Job Corps. Do your damn job

Frustrated and ready to get out of the cold
Rhpg

CaroPhoenix
02-17-2009, 01:17 AM
Dear Head,

Please do not be hurting me in the morning. Just because I drank an awful lot more than what I normally do, does not mean I'm due for a hangover.

That is all,
Rummy

RetailWorkhorse
02-17-2009, 01:50 AM
Dear half-priced V-Day candy,

You are sitting in my bag for a reason. It's so I can throw you into the freezer. Stop. Mocking. Me.

I will not eat you tonight, I already have 5 of you little Minis, I do NOT need any more!

-Heading to the fridge to get some string-cheese,
Das Mel

Dear Puppies**,

You two little girls were so cute but Mama-Mel said that Grandmother wouldn't let me have you. I'm so sorry, babies.

-Sad now,
Das Mel

Dear Icanhascheesebuger and Icanhashotdog,

<3

-Das Mel

**Twin chow-hound-dog mix, ten weeks old, only 35$ each and they're getting spayed tomorrow. So....very....SOFT.

Evil Queen
02-17-2009, 03:18 AM
Dear Mel,

I want puppies!

Waiting until New Mexico,
-EQ

edible_hat
02-17-2009, 03:21 AM
Dear guy who's replacing the tiles in the car wash:

What the *$%@ did you eat? That smell you left in the bathroom can't be natural.

-The guy who threw up after you shat out whatever it was that crawled up you and died.

morgana
02-17-2009, 04:13 AM
Dear Kansas Republican Legislators,

Quit playing f***ing games with my livelihood! Trying to blackmail the governor into signing your damn budget bill against her will (and ours!) is a bunch of political bullshit!

Hate,

A Kansas State Employee

:rant::soapbox::pissed:

AdminAssistant
02-17-2009, 03:14 PM
Dear Kansas Legislature (again),

DITTO!!!

Believe it or not, some of us may need our tax refunds. I was hoping to use mine on some new eyeglasses. I can only hope that Missouri will be more generous with the half I get from them. And don't you even THINK about cutting University dollars. I barely make a living wage as it is, and many of my professors are in the same boat.

Growingly,

A New Kansas Resident

Dear University,

If you do have to make cuts, why don't you make them in OTHER places? I'm sure there's some overpaid administrators floating around, and there are damn sure a bunch of overpaid athletics employees. No, I don't give a damn about a basketball team - that I have to pay athletic fees to support, yet don't get access to tickets to the game, am not allowed to park on campus during the games, AND have to bend over backwards if I happen to have any of the pituitary cases in my class. This is supposed to be a world-class university, but all I see are vastly underpaid employees and a crumbling infrastructure. You know, buildings without central heat/air, that kind of thing. Taking away the grad student travel fund, because it's more important that the undergrads get a new shiny for the rec center than for grad students to have money to travel to conferences.

You can take your 'Rock Chalk' and SHOVE IT UP YOUR JAYHAWK BLUE ASS!

No Love,

Your overworked, underpaid, Humanities GTA

Animae
02-17-2009, 05:30 PM
Dear R.


Please refrain from attempting to put things in my bottom without my permission. If you do not, I will be forced to take drastic and pain inducing measures to remind you that this is not a situation where it is better to ask forgiveness than permission.

the_std
02-18-2009, 05:11 AM
Dear Animae,

...

...

:devil:
Me

RootedPhoenix
02-18-2009, 05:54 AM
Dear cheese,

Thank you for being tasty. You were quite awesome in my tomato soup.

--RP

iradney
02-18-2009, 05:57 AM
Dear HR Lady

I sent you an email on Monday afternoon asking how much annual leave is currently available to me.

(Yes, I know that the leave is displayed on my payslip, but according to Formerly Awesome Boss, those days are incorrect as APPARENTLY the leave forms I sent in between June and November of LAST YEAR were LOST and therefore those days weren't taken off my annual leave.)
As far as I'm concerned, if you idiots lost the bloody forms, then there's no proof I took those days and they shouldn't be taken off. But I digress...

I STILL haven't had a reply from you. This is not a trick question. In fact, it is your JOB. Bloody well reply, you two-faced harpy!

Rads

dalesys
02-18-2009, 01:35 PM
Dear DreamMachine®:
Please stop casting the ex as a rational being.
Thanks

CaroPhoenix
02-18-2009, 05:09 PM
Dear Nose,

Stop dripping! I do not have the sniffles!

That is all,
And you had better listen to me darn it! :mad:
Rummy

SengaKitty
02-18-2009, 05:17 PM
[Not so] Dear Admissions Councilor,

What is so hard for you to understand that we are readmits? Not only are we readmits, but we were GOOD STUDENTS in our time on job corps. Why are you being such a vile bitch? I mean, really, I spent nine months on a job corps center. Is it really necessary for me to go on the tour? Not only that, but I do not intend to go to a Job Corps center in the state, so please, explain why I would want to tour the piddly whitney young center in Simpsonville tomorrow morning, let alone be at your office at the ungodly hour of 8:45 in the morning for anything othe than my interview telling me when I'm leaving this hell hole?

I was told by your supervisor I would not be required to go on the tour. The woman who TRAINED you. So what is your issue? And seriously? I mean, there are enough army brats out there, you've NEVER seen the birth certificate of one who was born abroad? BS.

Now, excuse me while I go bang my head against the wall repeatedly, so that I might lower my intelligence level to yours in order to understand your obviously fucked up idea of the situation.

A very NOT happy
Rhpg

iradney
02-18-2009, 05:34 PM
Dear Formerly Awesome Boss

You suck. In fact, you suck beach balls through a hosepipe. You'll "fight for me" HAHAFUCKINGHA!!! Like you "fought" for me to get a decent laptop? Or a raise? yeah...shame on me for ever trusting you and thinking you were a great guy. I hope you get bitten by a wallaby in Australia, you bleeding hypocrite!!

DIAF!
Rads

CaroPhoenix
02-18-2009, 10:04 PM
Child Rum,

I cannot take your curiosity(?) much longer. I'm going to go insane again. I do not have eyes in the back of my head (contrary to popular belief, they were not handed out at the hospital when I gave birth to you).

Please, stop touching the scissors. If your hair is bothering your eyes and you can't see. Tell. Me. I cannot do anything if you don't tell me. Cutting a little swatch above your eyes is NOT the way to go.

I think I'm going to go and curl up into a fetal position and cry.

Your Mommy

monolayth
02-19-2009, 02:09 AM
Dear Nurse,

Who trained you to do an IV? the blood is supposed to stay in my body or in the little vials. Not all over the floor the bed and my hospital gown!

glad she did not have to clean up the mess,
mono


Dear Lungs,

Work right dammit!
the rest of the body,
meh

KiaKat
02-19-2009, 02:23 AM
Dear mommy,

Please be ok. This was going to be the first winter you didn't end up in hospital, and I was looking forward to seeing you this weekend. The norovirus can go enjoy someone else's body for a while.

Love,

Eldest Daughter.

Dear Norovirus,

DIAF.

No love,

The One Who Takes Care of Sick Mommies

Dear A,

I'm sorry your sister's doctors suck. I'm sorry they didn't catch the diagnosis. I'm really sorry that you, of all people, have to go through so much. Your family has been through enough already. If I manage to get up there, I'll gladly help.

Love,

Kat

Dear, darling, wonderful friend B,

Life needs to give you a break. Soon. I'll talk to life for you and see if I can do something. In the meantime, please remember you have a lot of friends who want to help in any way we can. And don't forget your kitties - they can help.

Many hugs,

Kia

Dear Life,

FOAD. Seriously. All you're doing right now is causing problems.

No Love,

One Who Will Not Be Your Bitch.

Dreamstalker
02-19-2009, 03:07 AM
Dear Child Rum:

Listen to your mommy, okay? I did the self-haircut thing when I was your age and it never turned out as well as I had hoped (neat as I thought it was to have a square "hole" in my bangs, it looked stupid and I felt like a dork until it grew out). It's much more fun to have someone do it for you.

D

Bardmaiden
02-19-2009, 04:04 AM
Dear Genetics

While you are cool for providing me with an identical twin, did we have to be so identical that I get a cyst too.

Now I have to do the hospital thing too and might have to have an op.

Yours without thanks

Bardie

Not Dear Council who provide my home

It's really nice to write to people when they are in debt and also nice to write and tell me that you need additional information for my benefit claim. But no you ring up my sister and make her feel an inch tall and cry! I Shall have my revenge!

Bardie

Bardmaiden
02-19-2009, 08:28 AM
Dear Life

Thank you! You gave me a lucky break for once. :D

Yours with love

Bardie

smileyeagle1021
02-19-2009, 09:39 AM
Dear Mr. Buttars
Thank you for once again proving that the Utah legislature is filling with idiots. Cowen didn't make you look bad in your interview, you did a good enough job of doing that for yourself.

Glad I didn't vote for you,
Smiley

Dear people who aren't on this board,
So far I've heard quite a few board members tell me that I'm an interesting person... could some of y'all not reading this start to see that also... I'd appreciate having some social contact outside of work and CS.com (nothing against CS.com of course).

hugs and kisses
Smiley

AdminAssistant
02-19-2009, 02:24 PM
Dear Director,

Why did you take my beautifully crafted essay and change it without talking to me first? See, I realize to you this may be just a program essay, but to me, it is the public outlet for all the work I've done. And this is historically based creative writing. I have a distinct 'writing voice' and your changes are distinctly not in 'my voice'. The language choices are weird and the sentence structure does not flow - although it may be more grammatically correct. I made distinct choices that you changed...ripped apart the meaning. It doesn't have the poetic power anymore. And I gave it a title for a reason...and I gave it a byline because I wrote it. That's Dramaturgy 101 - make sure your name is on it. Assuming that the audience will see my name listed and make the connection? Nope.

Although, with the changes you've made - I don't want my name on it. Thank you for ruining what has been so far a wonderful artistic experience.

~ The Dramaturg Who Gets No Respect

CaroPhoenix
02-19-2009, 04:39 PM
Dear Dreamstalker,

Thank you for the words to Child Rum. I don't think she'll appreciate them just yet. Heck, I didn't admit my parents were right about anything until I go married and had Child Rum! Hahaha! And I was in my early 30's by then. :cry: Ah well, I'll have fun wth Child Rum until then.

:roll:
Rummy

----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Child Rum,

I hope tonight is better than last night. Want to help Mommy clean off the table and stuff? I promise you don't have to help with the vacuuming!

Lovinly,
Mommy

crazylegs
02-19-2009, 11:34 PM
Dear M

While I appreciate procuring uniform for me is rather hard work, publishing my measurements in a County wide publication probably isn't high on my list of priorites. Ask first next time please.

Yours, annoyed.

Crazylegs

Bella_Vixen
02-20-2009, 04:43 AM
Dear Becks--

Don't get any ideas:



Dear Genetics

While you are cool for providing me with an identical twin, did we have to be so identical that I get a cyst too.

Now I have to do the hospital thing too and might have to have an op.

Yours without thanks

Bardie

--Sunshine

Becks
02-20-2009, 04:44 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,

You know well enough that ideas and I don't get along.

Love,

Becks

Bella_Vixen
02-20-2009, 04:51 AM
Dear Becks--

It was worth a try.

--Sunshine

RetailWorkhorse
02-20-2009, 05:12 AM
Dear Right Hand,

Guh-WHA'?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! If you just did what I asked of you I could have an entire comic to go along with Give 'Em Hell, Kid by MCR by now. Seriously. that song is perfection for a certain relationship between two of my artistry characters. So why am I having such a hard time getting them on the effing screen?!

GRRR!!!!
-Das Brains o' das Operations

iradney
02-20-2009, 05:53 AM
Dear *company*

How the hell can you expect me to be bound by policies that:
a) are NOT mentioned in my LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT
b) are NOT available on the intranet website
c) Are kept in folders on the file server that I do not have access to?

DIAF
Rads

edible_hat
02-20-2009, 08:21 AM
Dear moderator on another forum:

I wasn't trolling. How is it my fault that people (a) can't take a joke and (b) keep on arguing against the point they thought I was trying to make after the fact that it was a joke was pointed out to them? Ban if you wish, but it will only confirm my opinion of you.

-me


-------------------

Dear five-star hotel,

Thank you for giving us a $500 room for $198 for our wedding night.

-Ed and the future Mrs. Hat

CaroPhoenix
02-20-2009, 12:47 PM
Dear Body,

Who told you to get run down the day before I was going to go to a book signing that had one of my favorite authors there!? :cry: I don't like being sick! And I have to finish getting things done for tonight's gamng session too.

No love,
Rummy

KiaKat
02-20-2009, 06:30 PM
Dear Life,

Didn't we have this conversation already? Didn't I tell you to leave my friends alone, and stop futzing with them?

Seriously. Just FOAD now.

No love, no thanks,

Kia

draftermatt
02-20-2009, 06:33 PM
Dear Doctors,

I hope everything goes ok with this iodiene test you're doing on my sister. You know she's allergic to seafood...

Dear Sister,

I really hope you're ok, and that if you do have a clot it's easily fixed.......

SengaKitty
02-20-2009, 07:49 PM
Dear body,

Why are you looking so old lately? We're only twenty-two, so why did the tour guide at job corps yesterday mistake you for a parent of a potential student? O.o

lupo pazzesco
02-20-2009, 10:04 PM
Dear everyone,

Prayers and happy thoughts for my family? Please?

We found out my grandad is dying. And may only be around for a few months longer.

I'm in a nice state of fuzzy numbness, but I'm worried about my grandma who's losing the man she's had for the last 54 years of her life...and there's nothing anyone can do or say to change it or make it better.

A very upset and numb,
Me.

CaroPhoenix
02-21-2009, 03:40 AM
Dear Self,

If you're awake in the middle of the night, please take down the number of the mack truck that keeps coming into my bedroom to run me over.

Please remember,
Rummy

RetailWorkhorse
02-21-2009, 04:20 AM
Dear everyone,

Prayers and happy thoughts for my family? Please?

We found out my grandad is dying. And may only be around for a few months longer.

I'm in a nice state of fuzzy numbness, but I'm worried about my grandma who's losing the man she's had for the last 54 years of her life...and there's nothing anyone can do or say to change it or make it better.

A very upset and numb,
Me.

Dear Granpapa Lupo,

NO SICK FOR YOUS!

-Das Mel in the Dog Kennel

lupo pazzesco
02-21-2009, 04:24 AM
Dear RW,

I wish I wish I wish it was that easy. really I do.

Cancer that's spread to the lungs and liver though... they've given him 4-6 weeks. If he can manage chemo, it might be longer, anywhere from 6 months to maybe a year.

<sigh> I drowning myself in tea now.

But thank you for the thought, at least.

<Blurbles from the tea mug>,
Me

Elspeth
02-21-2009, 05:19 AM
Dear Lupo

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry you have to go through this. I wish there was a way I could take the pain away. *massive hugs*

Els

RetailWorkhorse
02-21-2009, 05:46 AM
Dear RW,

I wish I wish I wish it was that easy. really I do.

Cancer that's spread to the lungs and liver though... they've given him 4-6 weeks. If he can manage chemo, it might be longer, anywhere from 6 months to maybe a year.

<sigh> I drowning myself in tea now.

But thank you for the thought, at least.

<Blurbles from the tea mug>,
Me

Dear Cancer,

Ain'cha getting enough out of MY Family Tree? Leave Lupo's alone! I KEEL YOU@!

-Das Mel, who's been reading ihasahotdog.com and needs to get a frikken life.

PS: *Hugs and puppy slobberz*

RootedPhoenix
02-21-2009, 07:09 AM
Dear Lupo,

*lots of hugs* That's awful. I'm sorry. :( :cry:

--RP

lupo pazzesco
02-21-2009, 01:48 PM
Dear RW, RP and Els,

Sankyuu for the sympathy. It's tough. I think what makes it worse is he's 800 miles away from me and I have no way of getting out to him. Talking on he phone hurts cuz he's not the cantankerous, grumpy old man I know. he sounds so frail and weak. I want to drop everything and go home, but he and grandma say they don't want me failing my classes or missing work and losing what little money that brings in.

Dilemma much? Nerg

A melancholy,
Me.

CaroPhoenix
02-21-2009, 11:00 PM
Dear Child Rum,

Daddy Rum says you're the one who is driving the mack truck that has been running me over for the past 2 nights. Please, stop it? You're not even old enough to drive, much less drive a mack truck. Can you please stop coming into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom in the wee hours of the morning and waking up Mommy? I'm much too old for this.

:cry:
Mummy Rummy

SorryIsGoodEnough
02-23-2009, 07:37 AM
Dear Everyone,

It's been wonderful meeting you.

<3

Love,
Heather aka SIGE

SengaKitty
02-23-2009, 08:10 AM
Dear SIGE,

huh?

Rhpg

RootedPhoenix
02-23-2009, 10:07 AM
Dear SIGE,

Are you...leaving? :( Because we'll miss you if you are...!

Tell us what's going on? If you can? *offers hugs*

--RP

iradney
02-23-2009, 12:05 PM
Dear SIGE

It's not nice to confuse the masses! :lol:
No, seriously, what's up??

Rads

crazylegs
02-23-2009, 12:12 PM
Dear M,

Publish that information again and I walk. Simple as that, I don't care how much work you've put into this, you've crossed a line; a line that is thick, hairy and cannot be crossed back.

You have been warned.

Crazylegs

PhotoChick
02-23-2009, 05:43 PM
Dear children,
don't climb in the drawer. it will break and your grandma will me mad at me.

dear chips,
can you please taste better? I didn't like you when I opened the pack but I don't want to throw you away.

Setsunaela
02-23-2009, 06:37 PM
Dear Lupo,
Hugs and condolences from me.. May not know you too well but I know how that situation is.. Wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Setsu

Dear mom,
Please stop caring so much. Srsly. I love the fact that you've decided to try and care about my health and well-being, but your brand of care is going to KILL me. Literally. So stop it.
If I cut carbs, natural fruit sugars, salt, fat, red meat, and cholesterol pretty much completely out, I will DIE. My doc said LOWER carb intake, INCREASE salt intake, and my cholesterol was FINE on my diet before, so with the healthier stuff I'll be even more fine. If I cut my salt intake, my blood pressure will continue to tank, and with my naturally low blood pressure, I'll start fainting again and that's really uncool.
I know how to read labels, I know what I'm supposed to be doing, and I don't appreciate you buying all the stuff I need to be eating, and then telling me I can't have any of it because it's all for your packed lunches because you've finally been shocked into eating something other than Wendy's for lunch every day.
Also, maybe if you quit buying six six-packs of coca-cola bottles every two weeks, plus four 12-packs of cans, plus chips and snacks, and you and your husband's pack-a-day apiece smoking.. you wouldn't have to take out a loan to pay your taxes. Don't look at me to give you a loan just because I can save up almost 1600 dollars a MONTH with my fiance's paycheck, because we already pay all of your bills except rent itself, car payment, insurance, and the water bill.
Love you but STFU,
Setsu

draftermatt
02-23-2009, 06:59 PM
Dear Wii Fit,

Please work for me and the Mrs.

the_std
02-23-2009, 07:26 PM
Dear Awesome Movies,

Thank you for making me feel better! It's been a weird couple of nights, but "Earth Girls Are Easy", "Back To The Future", "Robin Williams: Live On Broadway" (yes, technically not a movie but whatever!) and "Futurama: Into The Wild Green Yonder" all rock my little girl socks!

I don't know where I'd be without cheesy, fantastic, painfully hilarious movies. Many many hearts to all of you responsible for these pieces of love!

Gigglingly,
Me

CaroPhoenix
02-23-2009, 07:49 PM
Dear Wegmans(R) Potato Chips - Salt & Vinegar flavor,

Why do you have to taste so good? I can eat the entire bag in one sitting if I wanted to!

:cry: at the thought of my expanding waistline,
and needing some willpower at the moment,
Rummy

SorryIsGoodEnough
02-24-2009, 04:47 AM
Dear GIATZ,

You are the most amazing man I know. You're intelligent, you're handsome, you're charming, you're funny. You can win a political or religious debate based on pure fact without lowering yourself to petty insults. You're talented musically, and you enjoy singing. You have the most wonderful voice I have ever heard speaking, and I'm sure your singing ability is amazing as well.

You treat me as if I'm just as smart as you. You make me feel like I'm equal to you, even though I've put you on that mighty pedestal.

I love you.

I tell you every day, and you think I'm kidding. I know you don't feel the same way about me, so I'll let you think that way. I don't want to push you away. Over the years, I've found a man who does feel that way about me, and he could make me happy. You haven't found that woman who will do it for you, but I'll be rooting for you always.

One day, these feelings will be behind me. Someday, I'll knock on your door and say, "Hello handsome" like I always do. We'll laugh and I'll reveal that I had the hugest crush on you way back when and it'll be like the trance I'm in will break.

For now...

I love you.

Yours,
Heather














Dear CS,

Thanks for having a place for me to put that :o

Love,
Me.

Elspeth
02-24-2009, 05:34 AM
Dear Mom's Doctor
Yay you moved the freaking test up. FINALLY. Now can you bloody find out what the hell is wrong with my Mom. This is getting old. And can you find it with just the camera down the throat. Lets not have to do the one up the leg too. But if you have to then fine. JUST FIX MY MOMMY DANG IT!!!!!!!!!!

Thinking good thoughts on Wednesday
Els

Shangri-laschild
02-24-2009, 01:38 PM
Dear NRK,

Stop it :) Things aren't that bad. Some things have sucked, but overall, not too bad. It gives me a new appreciation though of what others have to deal with when I got into my moods in the past though.


Dear W,

You manage to make me feel beautiful and wanted and all sorts of happy without me getting attached. It's nice since neither of us want that. I wish you didn't have to work as much, but it happens. I'm still going to have you watch Firefly next time!


Dear K,

We need to have more girl time. We don't hang out nearly enough.


Dear Dn,

Before this, it had been maybe two years since we had talked. Get online again so we can talk some more! I miss you and can't wait for you to be here.

SengaKitty
02-24-2009, 03:46 PM
Dear CS,
For those of you who were wondering how my final job corps interview went yesterday (smiley :P) please click here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcgfC-uPqnc).
Love
RHPG

Dear Smiley,
Sorry I wasn't online last night... It'd been a very very VERY long day, with no sleep... I crashed watching Fiddler on the Roof, and have only now woken up.
Your female soulmate :P
RHPG

Dear (yeah OK....) Admissions Councilor,
DIAF
that is all
me

Setsunaela
02-24-2009, 04:04 PM
Dear RHPG,
What a raging bitch! Gah.. I hate when people get all up on their high horse and judge others, especially when they don't know f***-all about them.. >.>
Hugs,
Setsu

Dear stomach,
Please stop craving sweets and chips, and revolting when I eat real food. I cannot live on sugar-free Jelly Belly jellybeans and veggie chips alone. I really didn't enjoy "returning" my delicious turkey and cheese sandwich. I cannot take a zantac because my new meds and zantac fight. Please stop being so mean.
Setsu

Dear Mom,
I know I just wrote a lovely rant about you, but if I have to hear about how good you were on your diet one more time I am going to hit you. Seriously. Congratulations, you ate fruit, yogurt, and granola for breakfast. You ate a salad with tuna, hard-boiled egg, and low-fat ranch dressing for lunch. I know. You eat these every day, and have for two weeks. Congratulations. If only you'd apply all this mystical Wendy's-avoiding willpower to your smoking habit.. maybe then I'd be impressed.. but please stop giving me a million details on exactly what fruit you had with your yogurt, and your technique for building your salad so every bit of disgusting lettuce has something delicious on it so you will continue to eat it. For the record, using 1/4 of the bag of pre-made salad, and a whole can of solid white tuna, and a half-cup of salad dressing and two hard-boiled eggs.. you might as well leave the salad bit out for all the good it does you.
Your annoyed daughter,
Setsu

SengaKitty
02-24-2009, 04:29 PM
Dear CSers,

Apparently that video didn't load up to youtube all the way, so I'll add here the things that happened that it cut off. The admissions councilor had the nerve to tell Sir that he was taking on way too much, should never have tried to bring me up here, and that we aren't engaged, we're just adultering, and that he's breaking up a marriage. She's also said it's not likely we'll be going to the same Job Corps center. Well, we'll see about all that. We're going up there today to talk to her supervisor, who's the one who signs off on who goes where, and we're going to tell her what happened yesterday. We're going to be calm about it, but what that woman did was unprofessional. Once she signed my papers I should have been done, but no it was after she signed my papers that she decided to get "personal" and say "I'm not judging, but as a child who was abandoned by her mother to go to another man for a new life...."

Seriously Pissed off
RHPG

RootedPhoenix
02-24-2009, 04:57 PM
Dear RHPG,
>.< what a hopelessly gigantic snotwaffle she is. GRRR. :punch: *descends into snarling*

*massive hugs* You did NOT need that. I'm glad you've been as together as you have been, because I know I wouldn't be. I'd go to her supervisor too.

--RP

Dear body,

WAKE UP!

--me

SengaKitty
02-24-2009, 05:11 PM
Dear RP,

Thanks, I barely ate yesterday, and despite being exhausted from having stayed up all night the night before and only having slept about thirty minutes that day, i didn't go to sleep last night until round about 1 am. I then slept till 11:30 this morning O.O But yes, we're actually on our way out now, so I will update via video when I get home.

:hug: to all
RHPG

smileyeagle1021
02-24-2009, 05:47 PM
Dear RHPG,
When, notice, I said when, not if, you and Sir go to the Clearfield Job Corp they will fly you into the Salt Lake Airport... it is not possible to get from Salt Lake Airport to Clearfield without passing where I work... you WILL be waving as you go past :p

sincerely,
Smiley

kaetchen
02-25-2009, 09:20 AM
Dear Zeus God of Thunder Thighs T,

You know what? I'm sorry I didn't log anyone off OR onto ARMS when I left. My computer was being buggy and crashed. I forgot to get logged back on after I did my back-up and log people on and off. It wasn't that big of a deal.
It was also a very LONG night with MULTIPLE *crazy* people and weird junk all around and I was tired to boot.

However, if you EVER speak to me like that again, you better bet your grotesquely enormous ass I will complain to Chief about it. I probably will anyways just because it really pissed me off.

It's one thing to say "Hey K, you forgot to log people on/off." That wouldn't have bothered me so much.

However, when you go "Hey K. I didn't know if you knew this, but part of your dispatch job is to log people on and off of ARMS before you leave."

I was really tempted to reply with "Hey T, I didn't know if you knew about this, but there's this thing called soap and deodorant. You should try it out and save people from gagging every time they are in the office with you."


F off,
K

iradney
02-25-2009, 09:47 AM
Dear Soon To Be Ex Company

Your complete lack of organisation, screwing over of employees and procrastination are the main reasons for me getting the hell out. Your HR department is useless.
DIAF

Rads

draftermatt
02-25-2009, 11:27 AM
Dear Work,

Why must you confuse me so?

I'm not happy here, that should be painfully obvious by now, and I've been looking to get out, but there's not much out there. I had one interview, it went well, but I haven't heard anything back from that.

You know that I should be getting more money as I've been doing all the project management, just not the sales.

Telling me that my boss pulled down over $300k last year while working part time (putting more work on me) is just sick and wrong.

But now I wonder if I should leave. What if you do actually give me his job when he retires? How can I pass up that much money?

But then again, would you even give me the same type of bonuses and commissions?

I really have no idea what to do...

smileyeagle1021
02-25-2009, 11:46 AM
Dear life,
I have a new mantra, I want you to consider and act upon. That is: I deserve to be happy, I deserve to have good things happen, I deserve to have someone to love who loves me. I'm willing to do my part, now life, damnit, you have to do yours.

hoping you read this memo,
Smiley

Dear RHPG,
Thank you for helping me come up with that mantra.

The gay brother you never had,
Smiley

Dear group project I should be working on right now
please, just finish yourself... I really don't want to be dealing with you right now

sincerely,
smiley

Dear dream guy,
I know you must be out there... my friends keep telling me they know who you are, and all I have to do is move to a different state/country. Could you do me a huge favor though... think you could exist at the very least in the same metropolitan area, I might get picky and ask for the same county, but I know I can't push my luck and say the same township (or one over) but I can hope, can't I?

hugs and kisses, anxiously waiting for my lonely existence to not be so loney,
smiley.

Shangri-laschild
02-25-2009, 12:31 PM
Dear Kaetchen,

Tell Chief. T's an ass and has been pissing off everyone lately with that shit.



Dear M,

What the fuck. Remember how several weeks ago I told you that I was going to be taking over your job? You told me what all it entailed and I explained that that was less that I thought it was going to be and wasn't worried. So now I find out that all this time, you've been training me just on the key stuff and leaving out everything else, because you're training someone else. Your boss and my boss both said that it would be me getting trained. Not this guy who will probably quit if he doesn't get fulltime and take over the rest of your job. Both our bosses keep telling you that I am the one who will be taking over and I am the one who needs to be trained on it. Now, since you're gone all this month, I have to be trained by the guy who you trained, who's only going to be a backup to me anyway. Thanks. I really didn't appreciate you talking down to me like you did as if it was going to be too hard for my poor brain. I love taking stuff apart and putting it back together. I'm good at learning as I go. Fixing door handles and locks isn't going to be a problem for me. And stop saying you don't really care what happens after you leave and acting like you're training someone else for my own good.

taurinejunkie
02-25-2009, 01:16 PM
Dear young women of the world,

Why oh WHY did you all let yourselves be brainwashed into thinking a blinged-out pimp who likes you for your body and will leave you the second a bigger cleavage or whatever else he finds particularly attractive comes nearby is a good choice for a romantic partner, and a tough studded-up metalhead, who would take a shotgun blast to the face to defend you if the need ever arises, use his studs and army boots to really mess up anyone who messes with you, and would spare no effort in making your life the best it can possibly be, is not such a good choice?

Why must I remain single and watch the superficial morons defile your perfection? Am I just too noble for our time?

There's so many more questions, but it all boils down to: Why am I still single despite doing everything I can, short of changing my style, to not be single?

Love,
411guy

Sorry if anyone gets annoyed at my patheticness.

Rapscallion
02-25-2009, 01:34 PM
Why must I remain single and watch the superficial morons defile your perfection? Am I just too noble for our time?


Dear 411guy,

Try hanging around the nerdy chicks and you may have better luck.

Trust me, they're more likely to have read the Kama Sutra!

Rapscallion

taurinejunkie
02-25-2009, 01:38 PM
Dear Raps,

I once saw a girl in my college with a shirt that said 'talk nerdy to me'. I had no time at that moment and never saw her wearing it again so I didn't get a chance to do it but you can ask Vegeta about my nerdy talking level.

smileyeagle1021
02-25-2009, 02:07 PM
Dear 411,
If you ever figure that out please let me know... most likely it's the same reason that it's impossible to find someone who won't date a chub with rounded face and receeding hairline.

also single,
Smiley

SengaKitty
02-25-2009, 04:29 PM
Dear Smiley,
You're very welcome my brother from another mother ;) It's only the truth, so I DO hope you continue to tell yourself that every day.

The bi sister you never had :P
RHPG

Dear CSers,

Went to speak to the admission councilor's supervisor yesterday. To find out how that went, click here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEFxOAWRIjo). Looking good so far :D

Love ya'll
RHPG

iradney
02-25-2009, 05:46 PM
Dear TTO

I miss you :cry:


Love
Rads

Dear POS, discontinued in 2005, constantly freezing work laptop

TWO MORE WORKING DAYS and I NEVER have to deal with your pathetic hardware AGAIN!
YES!

Rads

KiaKat
02-25-2009, 05:49 PM
Dear self,

Get yourself out of this funk! It's a gorgeous day outside, and the world is a beautiful place. There's no reason to be down, even if you have a lot of shite going on right now.

Snap out of it. You beat this depression thing years ago, and you're not going to fall back into the old patterns.

Love and hugs,

Self

Dark-Star
02-26-2009, 01:51 PM
Dear pudgy old telephone guy,

Will you QUIT regailing me with personal anecdotes, Internet stories and other miscellany every sixty seconds?! Hell on wheels I LIKE those things, but not unsolicited enough I can tell time by them! :pissed:

You're such a nice old guy all-around...it really is painful to have to try this hard not to scream DAVE WILL YOU JUST :censored: SHUDDUP!!! :rant:

Sincerely,

A fellow office worker

CaroPhoenix
02-26-2009, 01:57 PM
My dear beautiful boy cat,

Your tail is too happy to be part of a cat's body. It's wagging all over the place! :lol:

Are you sure you weren't a dog in your past life?

Love,
Rummy

PS Yes I will pet you after I'm done typing. :p

Dreamstalker
02-26-2009, 02:51 PM
Dear McGriff:

I know, you miss mom. She'll be home in a week. Until then, you have me to bother (and I'm even sleeping in The Bed so you get to jump on me at 5 AM). Thank you for being so good about getting your fluids; I'm sorry about the missed try last night but it was hard to see where to go with all your fur (there needs to be some way I can put an ink dot in the right place).

Dear Economy:

Lovely...I'm able to apply for unemployment now (who the hell came up with that minimum-income requirement anyway...doesn't that defeat the purpose?), but there's likely no money. Or maybe there will be from the stimulus. Please let there be incentives for self-employment.

Dear Ex:

You're still a MORON for waiting 3 weeks to get that problem checked out (result was one big clot from ankle to groin as well as clots in the lungs...you had to have known earlier that something was wrong). So you're on warfarin until August, it's not the end of the world. Find out what you can actually eat/use/do, and get yourself a medicalert bracelet so if you are out and something happens people know about it.

KiaKat
02-26-2009, 05:20 PM
Dear rummy,

I have a kitty like that. I'm convinced she's not a cat, she's some sort of furry dog-like squirrel creature.

They're fun, aren't they?

-Kia

(P.S. The kitten in my avatar was her, three and a half years ago. Hard to believe she's all grown up now)

Setsunaela
02-26-2009, 05:32 PM
Dear SO,
I love you, and I truly want to marry you, but DON'T JUMP ME OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE THAT!
Now I'm all happy-crying, and it's really hard to research parts when I'm crying..
Thanks
Setsu

RetailWorkhorse
02-27-2009, 01:42 AM
Am I just too noble for our time?

Dear 411,

Yes, yes you are.

-RW

Dear Milk,

I has luff for chu~! Kees kees! :D

HOWEVER! You are the last in my cup. You suck.

Gonna get more milk on Sunday (bloody Sunday),
-RW

Dear Grocery List,

Don't forget bleach so you can mist the dishes before you rinse them.

-RW

CaroPhoenix
02-27-2009, 01:46 AM
Dear Nose,

Why is it you keep getting runny and sneezy at nighttime so I don't feel like going to bed?

I don't like you!

Miserably,
Rummy

lupo pazzesco
02-27-2009, 02:23 AM
Dear Self:

Congratulations! You successfully dyed your hair without staining the walls and sink this time!! Way to go! Now you don't have to explain that no, it IS indeed reddish brown hair dye rather than dry blood in your bathroom. Rather awkward moment, that...

and now you has hair that looks purpley in the sunlight. Yay. Go me.

Lupo

SengaKitty
02-27-2009, 02:44 AM
Dear Migraine,
Please don't decide to come back.. I can feel the edges of you trying to decide to come back and I really don't want to be flattened again..

Not happy
RHPG

RetailWorkhorse
02-27-2009, 03:34 AM
Dear Candy Bar Sitting On Top of My Computer Tower,

You were given to Bishamon as a sacrifice to make him happy. Because he's not Sai-Chan, I'm not going to offer him blood.

Stop. Staring. At. Me.

-Considering making another sacrifice to my wallet to get you a candy companion so you can stop mocking me,
-Das Mel

Dear Tooth,

YUCK! That's it, I'm sick of you! When I get my cash, I'm paying to have you pulled out!

-The Mouth You Reside In

AdminAssistant
02-27-2009, 04:13 AM
Dear Students,

I do not give three damns about the high school production of whatever crappy musical you were in or saw. 95% of all high school theatre is crap. And claiming you're a "theatre junkie" because you saw High School Musical at Random High School? Yeah. NO. A "theatre junkie" would know that play titles are italicized/underlined. I know people who go to the theatre EVERY week. Once a week. Reads plays every day. Lives and breathes the stuff. You do not qualify.

And learn how to freaking write!! gaaaahhhhhh.....

~ The Frustrated Lady who Stands Before You

Dear Health Clinic,

Please be able to get me an appointment tomorrow? I don't want to pay extra for urgent care, and I want to go while I'm experiencing the migraine. And please just...fix it? The pain and insomnia gets very old.

~Ouchie

Mom,

Yes, I'll go to the doctor. I promise. Really. OKAY, I'M GOING TO GO!

~ The Baby

CSers,

Since last fall, I've been having headaches, mostly above/around my right eye. I haven't been able to figure out a trigger, I don't get an 'aura', and OTC painkillers don't touch it. The pain lasts for days and sometimes keeps me from sleeping. Mom finally fussed at me enough to convince me I needed to get myself to a doctor. Me no likey doctors. And I have massive fear of pain medication addiction (both parents have suffered from medicinal addictions).

~ Needs to Sleep so She Can Read Artaud Over the Weekend

Bella_Vixen
02-27-2009, 04:49 AM
Dear Me--

Stay AWAY from the cookies.

I mean it!

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-angry031.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)

--Me

************************************

Dear hip--

Spontaniously get better, just like you spontaniously decided to hurt like there's no tomorrow.

--Me

*************************************

Dear Becks--

Thanks for not laughing at me about the seafood thing.

:ashamed:

--Sunshine

***************************************

iradney
02-27-2009, 05:20 AM
Dear Self

Enjoy your last day at *Company*. All your work is done, so you can surf the net and play Freecell with a happy heart.

Rads

Dear TTO

I can't wait to see you tomorrow!!

Love
Rads

Dear Not the Midnight Mass

I saw you guys perform twice - once in elementary, and once in high school. I've gotten tickets for your 20 year anniversary show and I CAN'T WAIT!! Looking forward to the funny accapella!

Love
Rads

monolayth
02-27-2009, 05:42 AM
Dear self,

I know it bugs you that that person deleted you from myspace. However it is only bugging you because you can't remember who it was. Get over it.

mono,

Dear people who read this.

I only noticed the above because my number of friends went from 40 to 39.

mono

CaroPhoenix
02-27-2009, 01:46 PM
Dear Body,

Why do you all of a sudden feel run down?

:cry:
Rummy

draftermatt
02-27-2009, 03:54 PM
Dear Nurses Station Catalog,

Mrs Drafter has circled that pendant in every catalog since Christmas so I got it for her birthday next month.

Why does it not look like the picture in the catalog?

I hope she likes it because I'm not too happy about it right now.

Becks
02-27-2009, 04:19 PM
Lizziebeff,

Not a problem.

Love,

Becks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mono,

The same thing happens to be every once in a while.

I have a mental list that I check first, to make sure it's no one that I care about.

If it's not one of them, I shrug, and life moves on.

--Becks

CaroPhoenix
02-27-2009, 09:26 PM
Dear Me,

How did you get sick? I was being careful. Wearing weather appropriate clothing. Washing my hands. Drinking Orange Juice. Trying to stay away from sick people. But I'm sick!

Earlier I felt like I had hit a wall. I took a nap. I'm still tired. My nose is dripping like a faucet. I am coughing up phlegm and I feel like crud. I'd cry, but then my nose would be so clogged, I couldn't breathe!

Please get better by Tuesday.
Rummy

the_std
02-27-2009, 09:35 PM
Dear America's Next Top Model,

STOP BEING SO ADDICTING! It is 4:30 and I still haven't gotten out of bed because I have been watching you. Why do you I love you so much? Talk about vapid entertainment. And yet I can't get enough.

Unproductively,
Me

RootedPhoenix
02-28-2009, 02:32 AM
dear body,

Grr.

--the bored mind who is sick of sleeping.

Dear World,

Stop reminding me of Idiot Ex. :mad: I like not thinking about him. It prevents me from wishing him harm.

--RP

Dear Designer of Many Things,

:headscratch: Those human things you made? Confusing. Very confusing. (At least the subset I know.)

Also, you seem to have made my body such that it has been sick since the winter of 2007 (late 07). I don't get this either. I don't like it. :mad:

Please fix the sickness. Thanks.

Please make the sun shine through the trees more often. It's very pretty, and it makes nice pictures. Clouds in the sky also make good pictures. Ooooh!, and sunsets and sunrises. Those are cool too. I want to take more pictures of your pretty planet. It makes me happy. *does happy dance in celebration of happy stuff* :D

--Your creation.

ETA:

Dear Annoying People of the World (who want to make me something I'm not),

Why, yes, I AM <x, y, and z>. :sleep: Your ridiculous little opinion has been stuffed into my mental shredder.

Now, do me a favor, and SHUT UP. :mad: You've been missing a golden and gem encrusted opportunity to do that for far too long.

Also, you are hereby invited to GO AWAY and LEAVE ME ALONE. :wave:

:rant:

--RP, who is unamused.

CaroPhoenix
02-28-2009, 05:03 PM
Dear Child Rum,

Mommy's sorry that she got you sick. Please get better soon!

I love you,
Mummy Rummy

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not So Dear Mr. Rum,

When Child Rum throws up all over herself, please be taking the dirty clothing down into the basement and throw them into the washing machine to be washed. Do no leave them on the floor in the bathroom where Child Rum had stripped them before be taken to her own bathroom to be placed into the bathtub for some rest and relaxation. And do not leave me the throw up clothes to be placed into a plastic bag to be cleaned.

:mad: :cry: and still sick,
Mrs. Rum

SengaKitty
02-28-2009, 06:41 PM
Not so dear person who keeps calling me,

I don't know who you are. I know you want my cat. I'm sorry, but by your own admission you are not an adult, and I cannot give the cat to someone who is not an adult. That is my rule. Maybe if I knew you, and knew your parents, it would be a possibility. As is, you calling me several times an hour, after I've already called the police about you harrassing and threatening me is NOT going to get you the cat. I stopped answering the phone after you called last night for the fourth time. You've already called three times today, twice in the last hour.

Please stop, I get the point, I'm scared now. You're still not getting the cat

Not happy
RHPG

Misanthropical
03-01-2009, 04:21 PM
Dear family,

If I don't start getting some help with the housework I will go off on each and everyone of you! I should not have to clean the house after working a 40 hour work week.

I am not the one who messes up the house and I don't appreciate the attitude of "mom will clean it!".

You all will either start helping or try to figure out why you have no clean clothes or lunch money. I will go on strike!

I can not be cleaning everything up with the pain I have, which is made worse by trying to get everything done that needs to be done.

Either help or get use to doing it all on your own, since I'm not doing it anymore.


Dear BossMan,

Wouldn't it have been easier to wait for everyone to get to work and then showing us all at the same time how to use the new program?

You wasted a lot of time and didn't really show us anything. We all had to figure it out on our own. Training on a new program should take more than 5 minutes.

Please tell the other supervisor to blow it out her ass if she can't stand the fact that we still make mistakes on the new program. I'm sick of her emails basically calling us morons for not knowing the new program inside and out.

We don't work for her, so tell her to mind what her people are doing and leave us alone.


Dear BossMan (again)

I'm getting tired of having a slow as dial up computer. I have asked you repeatedly to tell IT I need more memory.

What do I have to do to get you and IT to fix my computer? I see other people getting brand new computers, so what gives?



Dear bill collectors calling my house,

There is no one named "Jessica" here, so stop annoying the shit out of us. It took me less than a minute to find her phone number on my skip site at work, so you all have no excuse to still be calling here.

She hasn't had this number in over 4 years, you morons! So take our number out of your dialer or face my wrath. The wrath of a woman who knows the collection laws inside and out.

I have come close to making collectors cry because they thought they were all bad ass and were going to get me to admit I was really Jessica. I'm not Jessica and have never been Jessica.


Dear Jessica,

If I ever meet you I'm going to go off on you like the Wrath of God! Stop giving out my phone number as your contact number, you stupid bitch!

AdminAssistant
03-01-2009, 04:44 PM
BT,

*snuggles*

Have a good drive today and I'll see you when you get back.

And I'm serious when I say I'm banning you from picking movies. Misery? WTH, man? *sigh* But....seeing you helped my head so much more than the worthless medicine they've given me.

~ GT

RootedPhoenix
03-01-2009, 05:11 PM
Dear crying and tears,

DIAF.
You are giving me a migraine and making me nauseated. I won't say what you've done to my nose.
I'm pretty sure no one else likes you either, so DIAF, as I said.

--RP

Dear Sailor Moon,

You are very addicting. Has anyone ever told you this?
Thank you for existing.

--RP

RetailWorkhorse
03-01-2009, 05:56 PM
Dear ASUS Eee PC 900HA 8.9-Inch Netbook,

I like you. Granted, you're not white so you won't match my NintendoDS, but you'd match Bishamon as soon as I find a nice shiny blue sticker or bumper sticker to put on your case.

You're kinda pretty and you're what I need to take with me on the road for when Bishamon can't be hooked up. You're not even that badly priced (but the, I don't know what's a "good" price and a "bad" price so...yeah).

So maybe, MAYBE, with my next paycheck I'll buy you.

So you better fit into that portable DVD player thingermajig I put in my wishlist!

-Someone who wants to buy you.

Speaking of which....

Dear NintendoDS,

You little rat bastard! WHY HAS NO CONNECTION TO WI-FI?! What the hell is an ASOS connection?

I don't need no stinkin' friend code for Animal Crossing! How's THEM apples?!

-Grr

RetailWorkhorse
03-01-2009, 05:59 PM
Dear Sailor Moon,

You are very addicting. Has anyone ever told you this?
Thank you for existing.

--RP

Dear RP,

Meatball-head knows this. That's why she's ebil and the Negaverse baddies were so cool. :p

-RW

CaroPhoenix
03-01-2009, 07:13 PM
Dear Child Rum,

First, Mommy is sorry that you're still sick. Please no more coughing and then throwing up on me again. I don't like vomit. Especially when Daddy's not home. :cry: Please take your medicine. I don't like your temperature going up to 102.6 degrees Farenheit.

Second, no. more. cutting. of. your. hair. :mad: Nana and I are thinking of shaving your head and letting it all grow out again. If your hair is in your face, let me know and I'll brush your hair out of your face.

:cry:
Mommy Rum

RootedPhoenix
03-01-2009, 11:05 PM
Dear Rummy,

Eep. I hope Child Rum gets better soon. I don't know much, but 102.6 for a little person doesn't sound good. Also there is the throwing up. Boo on throwing up. Boo I say!

I hope you get better too. *send hugs your way, includes some for Child Rum*

--RP

Child Rum,

Brushes are nicer than scissors. Brushes make your hair pretty. :) I hate it when my hair is in my face too! It gets in my nose and makes it itch, boo. But brushes are way better.

I hope you get better soon. Being sick is no fun. :(

--RP (who is always 5 years old at heart. ;))

Misanthropical
03-01-2009, 11:47 PM
Dear shit for brains neighbor,

I don't know how it is in New York but in my neighborhood you don't park your POS car in the middle of the parking lot, making it hard for people trying to pull out or pull in.

I keep calling the police about it, but I suspect you have a police scanner, since you decide to move your car right after I call every single time.

You are really annoying me with that shit.


Dear neighborhood boy,

You do not EVER again tell my husband to "grow a pair" just because he refused to give you our food that you kept begging for. Go have your own family buy you food. It's not our job to pay for food for children that are not ours.

Don't ever come near my house for any reason. You will not be welcomed.


Dear townhouses,

Have you morons not been paying attention? We are in a recession! That means that you don't raise the rent by almost $50 more a month!! Your excuses don't hold water anymore, so save them for someone dumb enough to buy them.

I like living here and I don't want to move, but if you guys keep pulling this bullshit just because we are having an influx of the worst of New York and New Jersey does not mean they can afford it either.

You have never had a problem with my family. You have never had a complaint about my children, so how about a bit of a break here?


Dear body,

Can you please give me one day of no pain? Just one is all I'm asking.


Dear physical therapy receptionist,

I don't know who pissed in your Cheerios, but don't take it out on me. I did not say I can only come in on Saturdays just to piss you off. That is the only time I came in.

Oh, if you are going to try to get pissy about not having any room on Saturdays, you should try to get that story straight with the therapists, because they told me they have plenty of room, so you can kiss my fat ass.

CaroPhoenix
03-02-2009, 12:07 AM
Dear RP,

Thank you for the encouragement. :D

I'm getting over a sickness myself and everything just seems to have me burning the candle at both ends.

Mr. Rum says I had a mini-breakdown over the hair cutting thing. He says it's "just hair" and it will grow back. I know it will. I just ... can't explain it. And for the record, I will not be shaving Child Rum's head (if any out there thought I would). However, I am seriously thinking of shaving my own head and wearing a wig as I hate my hair and don't want to deal with it anymore. :D

Child Rum has an ear infection. She has to take 1 1/2 teaspoons of Amoxicillian every 12 hours. Right now, she's sleeping on the couch. She fell asleep while watching the opening of Dora on Noggin. She's an angel while she sleeps. :) Hopefully the Amoxicillian and the tylenol start to work and she starts to feel better soon. Maybe even eating something other than saltines and actually drinking more liquids.

Feeling a bit better,
Rummy

SengaKitty
03-04-2009, 04:53 AM
Dear SO,

Do you realize that we are engaged and living together, and yet, for some reason, for the past week I've been getting less attention than if I were single? And for that matter, I asked you to do ONE thing while I went to the church tonight, I was gone for, like, three hours, and you didn't do it. It wasn't even a HARD thing.. It was simply you putting the precooked food in the fridge after it cooled down enough to do so.... GRAH! WHY ARE YOU BEING SO STUPID?!

Grumbling in frustration
The woman who would normally be sleeping with you but can't sleep out of frustration

Bella_Vixen
03-04-2009, 05:04 AM
Dear FoH--

Why the fuck is my card being declined? And my other card? And another card? Plus yet ANOTHER card??

I REALLY want to buy your merchandise, but you are making it *extremely* hard to do so.

:rant:

--a (until now) happy customer

RetailWorkhorse
03-04-2009, 07:42 AM
Dear (Blank),

SEED. DAMN. YOU.

-Needs a Margarita.

Dear Self,

Turn off your TF and go the hell to bed. You can finish tomorrow. You got one done, isn't that enough? The other three are small enough you can have them all done in less than an hour. Use them for your next piece of artwork.

Now go to bed, you have work.

-The Awake One

PS: PAY THE FUCKING WAREHOUSE ALREADY! If you miss it THURSDAY I'm gonna rip you a new ASSHOLE! And considering I'm about to do it to MYSELF, I AIN'T HAPPY ABOUT IT GEORGE!

Dear EQ,

How's Brutus?

-RW

teller
03-04-2009, 08:33 AM
Dear self

stop being sick all the time please.

dear doctor

I am unwell all the time this is not good. I may be over weight but i should not be conestly sick. i am not a hypocondroac I am sincerly unwell I need help why will you not help me its your job.

dear kids at the school

when i tell you to get away from an area stay away from it, its for your own saftey truely. also do not go into a area that is fenced off or maked as unsafe. and stop riping up our tiker tape that we use please. my job is to keep you safe so let me do it.

monolayth
03-04-2009, 04:34 PM
Horrible A,

You need to be taken out back and shot. You are a horrible person and what you do to thoes boys could only be criminal. They are so delighted to see you and you could care less. I want to rip them away from you when they wont let you go. You could mean so much more to them than the person who is a myth. that is what you are to them. Visiting four times a year. taking them someplace fun then dissappearing from their lives. What is sad is that you have so many chances to be around them but you would rather party. You come into town all the time since you moved close by. Do you try to see them? no. we run into you and you laugh and say your just in town to hang out with so and so. If they could see you for the real you then they would hate you. the delight i see in their faces when you stop by hurts. I am the one there for them. I am the one who buys them stuff and does all the roles of a mom. yet they could care less for me.

yet you claim you love them and want custody. take them. that is what we have always said to you. we know your lies. we know you dont want them. hell you have not contributed anything to them in the past 4 years. you have not bought their clothing and you only buy an occaisonal meal. and you really dont want to when you do. and furthermore with your constant moving you cant take care of them. seriously last year you lived in flroida, hawaii, alaska and nebraska. and what was that dissappearing act you did from september till christmas eve? yeah they totally would want to spend christmas with you who never buys them presents and asking the night before was totally going to happen.

do you realize the behavior problems you present when you are around then leave? they act out horribly, and forget all rules and things we do everyday. the 6 year old completely shut down last night because i was making him eat a peice of pineapple. started crying and screaming and would not reapond in anyway to anyone. i had to carry him to bed. he would not even turn his head and acted like he went blind. that is not normal. and this happened after you told him that you were moving thursday to florida.

i really wish you would just dissappear completely. it would make their lives better.

tired of cleaning up after you,

Mono.

smileyeagle1021
03-04-2009, 05:03 PM
Dear man pretending to be RHPG's boyfriend,
Seriously dude, WTF. I know that overall you have been a great boyfriend, but you should know that RHPG does not deserve any of the grief you are causing her right now. Straighten up or I will personally beat you on her behalf when you get to Utah.

Sincerely,
RHPG's gay brother that she never had (even though she probably does).

Becks
03-04-2009, 05:39 PM
Dear head,

Please stop with the dull ache.

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Lizziebeff,

Is it Sunday yet?

Love,

Becks

the_std
03-04-2009, 07:09 PM
Dear Blue Menu Oatmeal Double Chocolate Cookies,

You are my new favourite awesomeness. Thank you for being so healthy!

Digging in already,
Me

Dear shower,

Please never do that again. Geysering out of the drain when I'm in you, standing directly over the drain... Not cool. Not cool.

Feeling a little too clean,
Me

Bella_Vixen
03-05-2009, 12:46 AM
Dear Becks--

Almost.

You might want to ask Mom if she'll make bacon. It's not actually her favorite thing to do. Or at least ask her to supervise.

--Sunshine

******************************************

Dear FoH phone rep--

I KNOW my last name!!

I've spent MANY years spelling it to people for forms rather then saying it for just the reason you demonstrated.

Get over yourself.

Oh yeah: Don't EVER fucking try to sign me up for a "special deal" that costs $80. Just fuck no. Ask if I'm interested. DON'T try to charge me for it before I can get a word in edgewise.

--a slightly pissed of customer.

****************************************

Dear FoH--

Thanks for stocking my size in most items.

Your phone reps need some work, though.

--Me

CaroPhoenix
03-05-2009, 01:18 AM
Dear Child Rum,

Please get better soon, okay? I don't like it when all you want to do is sleep (and yes, I know, sleeping is good for you when you're sick). You don't eat much lately and I'm trying hard to get you to drink ginger ale & pedialyte. It seems like I'm fighting a sleeping bed.

Also, calling your piggy bank a "Piggy Tank" is absolutely adorable even if your father was too thick-headed to pay attention.

Love,
Mommy Rum

taurinejunkie
03-05-2009, 06:02 AM
Dear Rum Runner *notices post above* :eek:

I don't think I've ever gone through a bottle this size so fast. Please, tomorrow morning don't come out of the same orifice you went in.

RetailWorkhorse
03-05-2009, 08:10 AM
Dear Ex-Girlfriend that Faved my latest piece,

I will not contact you. In fact, I deleted the notice. When I saw it, I nearly had a fit. My head swam and my heart nearly stopped beating in my chest, you have impacted me that much. Hell, I'm petrified of half-Asian girls because of you.

So leave me alone. Don't contact me. Never ever. I'd rather you dropped off the face of the earth.

Don't. Hurt. Me. AGAIN.

You are not my friend. You are not in my life for a reason. You fucked me up. I won't let you do that again.

No Love,
The Psychopath Holding A Grudge The Size of The Milky Way

SengaKitty
03-05-2009, 09:39 AM
Dear RW,

I'm sorry to hear someone you don't want to hear from is contacting you. I'm glad to see you come vent here, it's healthy. Sending you many virtual hugs and cookies
:hug: wanna borrow my clue by four?

RHPG

CaroPhoenix
03-05-2009, 07:13 PM
Dear Hulu.com,

Thank you for having episodes of both Perry Mason & Dragnet! Those shows are awesome!

Much love,
Rummy

-------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Jack Webb and Harry Morgan,

You two rawk my sox when I watch Dragnet 1967 and y'all portray Sergeant Joe Friday and Officer Bill Gannon.

Rawking,
Rummy
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Raymond Burr,

You are the best TV lawyer ever to be on TV. Sexy and manly all rolled into one.

Admiringly,
Rummy
---------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Fellow CSers and the rest of the world,

Yes, I'm most definitely a dork. I love "old" TV shows. :p

Happily,
Rummy

KiaKat
03-05-2009, 08:56 PM
Dear Knee.

I hate you. You cause me more problems than any other part of my decaying, arthritis-riddled body. I lost 35lbs because of you. I'm probably going to have to lose another 15, and still end up having surgery to fix you. You can DIAF now, and stop causing me pain because I tried to move a stupid couch. Correctly. With my legs instead of my back.

No love, much hate, in fact,

The One Who Owns You.

Dear painkillers,

I don't like you. You make me woozy and not able to think. But you also make the pain go away, so I can at least function a little bit. So you may stay.

Appreciation,

The One in Pain.

Setsunaela
03-05-2009, 09:11 PM
Dear Body,
Please quit with the dizziness already. I KNOW I'm now taking two medications that cause slight dizziness. You don't have to make it all obvious. Please.
Also, lungs of mine, I get it. I took a bronchiodilator and then took a nice deep breath of cold, dry air. I know you didn't like it, because you shut up faster than that time I decided river water was a nice substitute for air. Please stop making my daily activities hell by making me cough every time I do anything vaguely strenuous.
Thanks
Setsu

Dear family,
I'm getting marred soon. Hopefully we can put aside differences and all be nice for my i-got-married party, please. I do not wish to watch Godmother and her ex-husband argue. I do not wish to be lectured by Aunt R. I do not wish to watch Cousin R be lectured by ANYBODY. I also do not wish to hear a lecture. I'm getting my BB&B bridal registry all in order, with some wishful-thinking items and a lot of realistic, I actually need these items, so it'd be nice if people made some purchases from there. Please don't embarrass me in front of the few members of new family that will be visiting to wish us well..
Your loving niece/(god/grand/step)daughter

AdminAssistant
03-05-2009, 09:26 PM
Dear Toyota Place,

Thank you for taking care of my baby and getting her back to me in the same day. Yeah, it costs more to go to the dealer, but it is sooooo worth it.

You guys totally rock!!

~ The One with the Camry

the_std
03-05-2009, 10:10 PM
Dear Candi and Boy,

I am coming to see you in three weeks! Be ready for me when I get there, cause it is going to be intense. The partying will be legendary! We will be ridiculous! You'd better warn Calgary, cause dis shiz is gonna get hev-AY!

Dancing on the inside,
Me!

smileyeagle1021
03-06-2009, 10:49 AM
Dear Corporate,
Thank you for not taking the central network down like you were threatening to... it made my shift much easier

Sincerely,
your dedicated employee

Dear payroll company
:censored: you... because you guys screwed up and didn't get the checks to the hotel by thursday night my choices are transfer money out of savings for my checks to clear tomorrow or make an extra trip to the hotel after school cutting into my time to sleep... neither of which do I really want to do.

Sincerely,
one very PO'd employee

Dear former coworker,
You're joking right? You actually think you're getting a paycheck? You took a loan from the owner and signed an agreement that if you hadn't paid him back by the time you left employment at the hotel you were going to allow him to take the money out of your check. He has been incredibly generous to not collect interest, but you owe him more than what you get paid every paycheck... consider yourself lucky if all he does is take your paycheck and call it even instead of sending you to collections.

Sincerely,
the guy who actually has shown workplace loyalty.

Dear Idiot calling at 2am,
What made you think that someone in charge of hiring would be here at 2am? And for the record, no, we don't have an opening for night audit... both of us are quite happy with the job and probably won't be leaving... however, if you want day shift, turnover is high enough on day shift that if you turn in an application now you'll probably have a job by the end of the month.
sincerely,
the guy who's time you just wasted

Dear guy who sounds like a former coworker,
haha, very funny, calling in random shuttle pickups that you know we'll have no choice to send out because even though we're pretty sure it's a prank we can't take the risk. Nothing more amusing than wasting my time, the shuttle driver's time, and oh so precious fuel.

sincerely,
a very unamused Smiley

Dear Life,
thank you for not sucking as much recently... better, but still a lot of room for improvement.

sincerely,
the guy still waiting to be given a good reason to get out of bed other than the need of money.

CaroPhoenix
03-06-2009, 08:08 PM
Dear EQ,

Why were you in my dream last night? I was trying to get back to the Dallas airport so I could fly to Houston, and you kept calling me on my cell phone. :confused: We were going to find a mansion to live in. If I were going to live in Texas, I'd be living in San Angelo and that's the only city I'd live in. :p

Confused,
Rummy
-----------------------------------------------
Dear self,

What is with the superhero/X-men type dream I had? First it was superhero then it met D&D!? Such weirdness.

Very Confused,
Rummy

kaetchen
03-07-2009, 02:00 AM
Dear car,

Really? :( Why do you have to be considered unsafe to drive? What's up with that?
I need to get to work sometimes, and I need you. I don't like taking the bus because my weirdo stalkers are usually on there, and I don't want to get kidnapped and/or killed. They are taking karate and Japanese classes and I'm convinced it's so they can be convincing ninjas and then they will kill me.

Seriously, wtf? :(
Me

(It's a 15 year old Toyota Avalon. The engine is shot and might throw a rod at any time, it also has elevenitybazillion miles on it (175,000 etc etc). The electrical system is a fire hazard because it shorted through most of the wiring and now has no grounding and idk there were a few other things that I don't get, but they said it's terminal and would not be worth fixing. *sigh*)

CaroPhoenix
03-08-2009, 07:14 PM
Dear Mom,

Thank you for all the "here's how to pack a shopping buggy properly" lessons. It came in handy today. :D

Your Daughter,
Rummy

Becks
03-09-2009, 04:00 AM
"Dear" snow,

I'm so glad you FINALLY stopped.

It just fucking sucks that it's now way too late for me to do the fun stuff that Bella and I had planned for today.

Fuck you.

Wishing I was in NJ for the winter,

me

Bella_Vixen
03-09-2009, 04:39 AM
Dear Becks--

Thanks for making me buy the shoes. I LOVE them!! If I ever get a 3 hour shift at work again (yeah right) I just might wear them then. :lol:

--Sunshine

************************************

Dear Mom--

Thanks for making me feel guilty that I don't *like* armaretto (sp?). You should be thrilled because it meant more for you.

--Brat

************************************

Dear work--

Don't be pissed that I didn't want to come in on my day off. It's not my fault that people are "sick"...especially when it just so happens to be their birthday.

--Me

***************************************

Becks
03-09-2009, 04:43 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,

You're welcome about the shoes.

...And don't you have a three hour shift on Friday or something?

And thanks for finding those boots for me. I hope they're comfy for work.

Love,

Becks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

Dear Man of the Household,

Honestly, I don't need a play-by-play of your new computer game.

Really.

I don't give a flying fuck.

And I can read quite well, thank you--as a matter of fact, I'm sure I read BETTER than YOU--so please stop reading wikipedia pages to me.

Especially about people/places/things I don't give a damn about.

Love,

me

PS--Do the damn dishes.

kaetchen
03-09-2009, 04:44 PM
Dear Toyota dealership that we keep coming back to for repairs,

...So, after taking our almost 14 year old car (thought it was 15, it's a '95 apparently) back into you for the 4th time in a year...3rd time actually for 2009, and after giving it a good oil change and inspection.........you first tell us that yeah, our headlight wiring is f-ed beyond and that oh wow, the power steering rack/column thing is f-ed and we need to replace that NOW NOW NOW. We bring it in Friday to have this $700 job done for the steering, and go to pick the car up at 4:30 and suddenly you have a laundry list of things "wrong" with the car. What? Your mechanic on Monday was a trainee and should have caught these things? You think?? I'm glad you refunded the money for the steering since it wasn't the most pressing matter at hand.

However: I'm not a mechanic, but the clicking noise that my engine has been making for the past, I don't know how long? The one that every time we bring it in, we ask you and you ALWAYS say "Oh, it's just something wrong with *whatever* part but it's nothing that we can really fix without replace the whole thing. You can keep driving it with no problem." ? You know, that one? Yeah. Monday this wasn't an issue, but suddenly you tell us that "OMG IF YOU DONT REPLACE THIS NOW NOW NOW NOW IT'S PRETTY MUCH GOING TO BLOW THE HELL UP!" (Threw or can potentially throw a rod...and if it already DID, like I'm understanding...it shouldn't be running AT ALL.) It wasn't an issue when I brought it in for whatever belt we needed replaced either! That was in January! And you tell us that the transmission needs to be replaced? WE JUST FIXED THAT IN JULY (or around then, it was summer)!! The transmission seals are leaking too? Really? I haven't seen any kind of fluid on the ground from it...that's strange. Oh, and the electrical system? I've had in it in there before and told you that the right side headlamp doesn't stay on all the time and sometimes the whole damn car has electrical seizures ( doors lock/unlock, lights go on and off, makes that dinging noise when you have the door open with the keys in it, WHILE I"M DRIVING) you told us that it was something we could wait to do and we did...so that's our fault but you're telling us now that the electrical wiring in the WHOLE car needs to be replaced for $2,500??? Also the power steering and rack, and some other bit for $2,000? Plus the new engine for $3,500 and the transmission for $950?? (all with the labor included in the price...idk)

My (not quite) mother-in-law is rather peeved by this (it was her car, still in her name but she helps pay for things with it when it's really bad.) and was talking with someone who's either a mechanic or is married to him (not sure, she's really bad at explaining these things) and according to whoever this was...the car shouldn't even be able to run, and that makes sense.

I know the economy is bad and all, but really? Are these things really THAT bad? I can't help but think you're trying to milk her for all the money she has right now. That really got solidified in my mind when you started to push a new car on her as we were leaving. WTF.


F- you, and we're getting a second opinion.
No love.

iradney
03-09-2009, 06:04 PM
Dear new job

:love:

That is all

Rads

RootedPhoenix
03-09-2009, 10:35 PM
Dear Rads,

YAY for good jobs! *happydance*

--RP

Dear buisness textbook,

I know I ignored you. Please don't be hard and dry and annoying when I have to read 9 chapters of you in a week. Thanks!

--RP, who is allergic-sneezy.

Dear people who make other people cry,

:mad:

--RP

calulu
03-09-2009, 10:41 PM
Dear House,

I know you are dirty and messy and the wallpaper in the hallway needs replacing and I haven't loaded/unloaded the dishwasher in days. But you can wait, the mess will pile higher. The spring weather and sunshine cannot.

CaroPhoenix
03-09-2009, 10:59 PM
Dear calulu,

I completely understand what you have to say. I feel the same way. :D

Rummy

RetailWorkhorse
03-10-2009, 02:24 AM
Dear Calulu and Rummy,

AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMEN!

Looking for his Banana Boat sun-block,
RW

smileyeagle1021
03-10-2009, 04:02 AM
dear people where it is already spring,
you guys suck... there is snow falling here... and I hate it.

not amused
smiley

:p

the_std
03-10-2009, 04:04 AM
Dear Spring People,

I agree with Smiley. Grr. It was -37 Celsius here today! I want springtime. :cry:

Brr-ingly,
Me

RetailWorkhorse
03-10-2009, 04:19 AM
Dear Weather Gods,

Rain in the forecast from Thursday all the way into next Tuesday. STOP THAT! We need the HD cart selling hotdogs so I can LEAVE this miserable plane of existence! GET THE FRACK OUT OF THE FORECAST!

Or at the very least make it at night so the days can be sunny.

AND RAISE THAT TEMPERATURE, DAMMIT!

Getting PISSED,
RW, the Dog's Beloved.

Ree
03-10-2009, 11:23 AM
Dear God...

Please send my lost kitty back to me. :cry:

iradney
03-10-2009, 12:26 PM
Dear Ree's Kitty

Go home to your Fur Mom. She loves you and misses you.

Love
Rads

PhotoChick
03-10-2009, 06:13 PM
Dear Ree's Kitty,
Go Home.

Dear Weather,
What happened, it was so nice out? And now its cold. :(

Dear Pretty Princess,
If you don't nap, I can't nap, so please nap cause Mama is very tired.

crazylegs
03-10-2009, 10:46 PM
Dear T

While not exactly unexpected your news is awful; you have my number, use it. I won't mind, I won't think you're being silly, if you need to talk you need to talk.

Yours, worried

Crazylegs

CaroPhoenix
03-10-2009, 11:41 PM
Dear Back,

All I did just now was to replace the dirty sheets on Child Rum's bed with clean ones. Why are you bothering me now? Especially in one spot on my lower back on my left side? It feels like a hug lump there.

:cry:
Rummy

SengaKitty
03-11-2009, 03:16 AM
Dear News,

Next time you decide to report on a shooting rampage in lower Alabama that kills 12, including one child, PLEASE say what city. I just had a minor heart attack, because I didn't know where in lower Alabama the shooting was, and my SON is in lower Alabama. It took me five minutes to find a news report online with city names, and then look to see how close that was to my son. I'm breathing now, but my heart rate is still trying to get back to normal....

PLEASE don't do that again!

-a very scared mommy


Dear families of the shooting victims,
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Trayol
03-11-2009, 03:17 AM
Dear Self,
Did you really spend twenty minutes downloading 51 Disney songs? I'm not sure if I should be appalled or applaud your choice. I will say, the moment you start singing; I'm leaving you to fend for yourself.
Love/Hate,
Trayol

Shpepper
03-11-2009, 03:52 AM
Dear family and friends,

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop whining about having to drive me places when you can't be bothered to take a few hours to help me get the tools I need to the Jeep and get me to the parts store to get the parts I need. In case you haven't realized, if I can get MY car fixed, I won't need rides in yours.

GRRRRRRRRRRR,
Pepper

iradney
03-11-2009, 05:26 AM
Dear Trayol

DISNEYS SONGS??? OMG!!! :love:

Love
Rads (Currently listening to Poor Unfortunate Souls)

teller
03-11-2009, 10:52 AM
dear kid in news
shade clothsare only cloth they will rip when theres a dozen people on it. i have nominated you a dawin award.

thank you
me

Evil Queen
03-11-2009, 03:56 PM
Dear Monies,

Come back! I need you to move!

-EQ

CaroPhoenix
03-11-2009, 04:35 PM
Dear EQ,

Have you checked under your sofa cushions? I find a lot of my monies usually end up there for some reason.

Also, will please get out of my dreams? This is the second time, I've dreamt that I have to get a hold of you on my cell phone! What is up with that?

:hug:
Rummy

SengaKitty
03-11-2009, 07:13 PM
Dear CSers,
Does anyone know anything about Woodland Maryland? Anyone near there? It looks like that's where Job Corps may be sending us. The admissions councilor called me today asking if we would like to go to the Woodland Maryland center and told us to call her tomorrow with an answer, which leads me to believe they have openings NOW, and that if we say yes we'll be leaving SOON. Any info would be helpful!

Thanks
RHPG

Setsunaela
03-12-2009, 07:04 PM
dear RHPG,
I don't know much about Woodland personally, other than that it's a sort of tiny little town nearish Cumberland, and pretty far off from the bigger cities of MD and VA.

not very helpfully,
Setsu

Dear Toki,
Thank you!! hugs for paying for my birthday party so I can still have it. I no longer request you bake me a cake, I can handle my own cake since you're paying for my party!

Love love love,
Setsu!

CaroPhoenix
03-12-2009, 08:32 PM
Dear Setsunaela,

Birthday parties are wonderful! Yay for parties.

Happily,
Rummy

-------------------------------------------------------
Dear Child Rum,

4 AM is not a good time to wake up on a school day. However, I did get 5 hours of sleep after putting you on the school bus so I suppose everything worked out okay. :D

Also, thank you for giving a whole bunch of kisses. Maybe Mommy should cook green beans and chicken more often, huh?

Lovingly,
Mommy
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Intuition,

When you give me the feeling that someone I know has been in an accident, please also let me know who it was who was in an accident!

Rummy whose Mom got rear-ended in the Dollar Store parking lot

Bella_Vixen
03-13-2009, 02:36 AM
"Dear" work--

I, for the life of me, canNOT figure out why it took someone until almost 9 fucking o'clock to call me to ask if I would come in 5 fucking hours early tomorrow.

No phone calls made to my cell...unless they fell into that dead zone that encompassed Becks, which I doubt.

No phone calls to my house phone, either.

Oh yeah. NO ONE mentioned it when I had stopped in at 4 this afternoon. The AM saw me. Twice. The AAM saw me. The girl at the SD saw me.

Yeah.

Don't expect me to be all puppies and sunshine, especially if my knee is still hurting.

--me

RootedPhoenix
03-13-2009, 02:53 AM
Dear Bella's work,

:mad: You saw her and said nothing? Grrrr.

--RP

"Dear" smoke of varying sorts,

I HATE YOU. Stop existing.

--RP

SengaKitty
03-13-2009, 03:11 AM
Dear Setsu,
Thanks for the response, and I should probably say that I made a mistake and am face palming. I meant Laurel, MD, which happens to be where the Woodland Job Corps Center is located. The Woodland JCC is not, in fact, located in Woodland Maryland... go figure...

Any info you might have would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks :D
RHPG

RetailWorkhorse
03-13-2009, 05:54 AM
Dear Weather Gods,

WHYYYYYYYYY do you torture me so?!

And if you answer "why not" I swear I'm coming up there and beating you with a rusty spoon!!

-The Sunworshiper Growling At You

Becks
03-13-2009, 04:01 PM
"Dear" MOTH™,

:censored: you.

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dear" PMS,

:censored: you, too.

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear body,

:wtf: is going on?

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear cellphone,

:wtf: to you, along with :censored: you.

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear CSers,

I like you.

:D

--me

CaroPhoenix
03-13-2009, 04:25 PM
Dear Becks,

Remind me to never get on your bad side. :lol:

I like you too.

:hug:
Rummy

Becks
03-13-2009, 04:58 PM
Dear Rummy,

:D

You'll never be on my bad side.

*hugs*,

Becks

Shangri-laschild
03-13-2009, 05:19 PM
Dear new ear piercing,

Please please stop itching. It's taking all my self control not to scratch.

Bella_Vixen
03-14-2009, 01:36 AM
Dear Rooted Pheonix--

Thanks for hating work for me.

:lol:

--Bella

************************************

Dear Mr. Becks--

Don't make me come over there.

*shaking fist.*

Haven't you learned to NOT piss Becks off?!?

--me

************************************

Dear Becks--

I'm dying of jealousy that you got St. Pantie's Day and the day after off.

You must come over and have a bit of Baileys for me.

--Sunshine

RetailWorkhorse
03-14-2009, 04:40 AM
Dear Weather Gods,

I'm WARNING YOU.

-Sunworshiper

Dear Back,

Guu-wha'? Why do you hurt suddenly??

-The thing holding you up

Dear Music,

<3

-Listener

Becks
03-14-2009, 04:49 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,


Thanks for the smokey treat cases. You are AWESOME.

...St. PANTIE'S Day? That's a new one. And as you know, I only requested off for the 18th because I HATE having to work when the MOTH™ has an appointment. Drunk day was just an unexpected bonus...and I'll come to your place for the drinkables. :D

I forgot to tell you. The other day, I made M drool. She even said so. :shrug:

Doodle.

Love,

Becks

Wingates_Hellsing
03-14-2009, 05:26 AM
Dear wannabe gangstas

You do not own a firearm, and never will. I would not be afraid of you if you did, especialy if you were aiming at me and not 30 or 40 feet to the side of me. I don't even know how to use a firearm that well, and I could still kill all of you given the chance. You are going a long way towards giving me that chance.

Stop using the 'plight of the black man' as an excuse to dick around and try to make people like me to give you what you want. Fuck you, your parents, and anyone else responsible for creating you. The only reason MLK's zombie hasn't returned from the fucking grave to kill you is because he can't decide which one of you to horribly mutilate first.

with an equal hatred as that I have for skinheads,
Wingates

Dear politicians,

USE YOUR BRAIN! OR DIE TRYING!

With love,
Wingates

Dear clerk at the [book store]

I heard you, at least I did look for the book in the section it belongs in. I'm not psychic, and whoever decided to put the entire stock of crime and punishment on a display rack in an obscure corner of the store is not my fault. I am not a 'wigger', I am not a 'retard' and if anyone should fuck off, it's you.

I feel sorry for the people you work with, so fuck off and die... bitch...

with pity for your co-workers, and your manager,
Wingates

Bella_Vixen
03-14-2009, 05:45 AM
Dear Becks--

How on earth did you make M drool?

--Sunshine

Becks
03-14-2009, 05:48 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,

I'm not sure, and I don't think I want to know.

Love,

Becks

Bella_Vixen
03-14-2009, 05:50 AM
Dear Becks--

On second thought, I don't think I want to know, either.

:blink:

:blink:

:blink:

--Sunshine




P.S. How are Nella and Hetfield?

Bella_Vixen
03-16-2009, 12:51 AM
Dear Becks--

Thanks for the yummy yummy cheesecake.

Did I mention that it is yummy?

It's yummy.

--Sunshine

Becks
03-16-2009, 04:31 PM
Dear Lizziebeff,

I'm glad you like the cheesecake.

I hope you and Mommy saved me some.

Love,

Becks

PS--Nella and Hetfield are sassy, as always.

CaroPhoenix
03-16-2009, 06:03 PM
Dear Self,

Why oh why does my throat hurt? Why do my ears hurt? I do not have time to be sick! I'd :cry: but I'm too sick. Go away sickness. Leave my ears alone. Leave my throat alone. Leave my head alone (I have a dull headache like someone has stuffed my head with lots and lots of cotton and then they're beating a plastic hammer against the cotton). I wanted to see Ted Neely in "Jesus Christ Superstar" at the Warner Theater this weekend, but I suppose now I can't! Now I'm really gonna :cry:

No Love,
Myself

iradney
03-16-2009, 07:10 PM
Dear IDR's germs

*shakes stick* go AWAY!!! You're not wanted here! You don't pay rent, you don't cook and you don't even do dishes! Bugger off!!

Rads

Dear IDR
*gentle hugs*

Love
Rads

CaroPhoenix
03-16-2009, 07:51 PM
Dear Rads,

2 out of 3 sound like Mr. Rum. Does that mean he has to move out too? :roll:

Ahem. I took a nap. I made myself some strawberry tea. As long as I keep warm liquids going down my throat, my throat doesn't hurt so bad. I've even taken some Aleve - to help with the aches and pains and head. Tomorrow is open house for my daughter's school from 9 AM until 1 PM and I can have pizza for lunch! I don't want to miss it for the world.

Love,
Rummy

RootedPhoenix
03-16-2009, 11:19 PM
Dear business class,

:cry: Eight chapters of you in a week. *dies* Why are you not music theory? I would like you far more if you were music theory.

Ah well, I have eight more weeks and about nine...more...chapters...! *rantwheezecoughdeath!*

-- RP

JapanesePod101.com/SpanishPod101.com,

Thank you for existing. You fill many of my geeky language learning needs. Your only flaw is that you do not offer me Mandarin Chinese.

--RP

Dear internet,

Somewhere in your many files and folders of awesome, there is a someone/several someones who would love to guide me in Mandarin Chinese. Tell me where this person/people are?

This also goes for Japanese, and even more so. I want to learn Japanese like I want to breathe every day.

*goes to pester Google and things like it*

-- RP

Rummy's germs,

Beat it germs! :mad: *shakes fist!*

--RP

Rummy,

*hugs gently* *offers lemony herb tea and ricola* I also have honey in a honey bear. I love honey bears. :D *offers*

--RP

CaroPhoenix
03-17-2009, 12:21 AM
Dear RP,

Thank you too for the support of getting rid of my germs. :D

Right now, I feel great and wonderful and I can take on the world. (I think it's the cold medicine I'm on). But by golly, come heck or high water, I'm going to my daughter's school & I'm going to enjoy the Open House!

I just hope this cold doesn't beat my butt. :(

Rummy

the_std
03-17-2009, 12:57 AM
Dear Plague Monkey,

You're just lucky I have lots of night-time NeoCitran to combat you, or else, when I recover, I would go berserker on your ass. Seriously, joints should not ache like this!

On the other hand, I'm glad you're happening now and not a week and a half from now. If you try to ruin my trip... Grr... I'm too hopped up on funtime meds to come up with some appropriately elaborate torture plans right now, but the sentiment is there!

Dying,
Me

RootedPhoenix
03-17-2009, 01:52 AM
Dear electric guitar,

Your awesomeness is infinite. That being said, how did you go sharp while I was not playing you for those months I was too sick to care? Did little gnomes tighten your strings or something?

Also I need to play you more often and get my callouses back.

Loving you anyway,
RP

Dear the_std's Plague Monkey,

*throws large, heavy objects at you* Leave her alone. Also do not be ruining her trip, or I shall find more large objects to hurl at you. Beastie.

--RP

Dear the_std,

*offers chocolate* Joint pain is awful. :( I'm sorry.

--RP

SengaKitty
03-17-2009, 02:30 AM
Not so dear Plague monkies,

Why are you running around knocking over good people? First Sir, then me, and Rummy and the_std... please stop, we don't feel good, and all of us have plans..

Can someone pass the happy fun medicines that i don't have?

Dying
Rhpg

Becks
03-17-2009, 03:28 AM
Dear RP,

I can't offer guarantees, but I can say this: phrasebase.com

Love,

Becks

the_std
03-17-2009, 03:33 AM
Dear Everyone Dealing With Plague Monkeys,

I have two words to cure you: Looney Tunes.

Seriously. Watching cartoons getting mercilessly beaten up in hilarious ways takes the edge off not being able to function, I promise.

Be careful, though. This stuff is like cocaine. You've been warned.

Edited to add: If nothing else, watch the episode "Dough For The Do-Do". It might make you feel normal again!

Slap-stickingly,
Me

Wingates_Hellsing
03-17-2009, 03:36 AM
Dear Plague Monkeys

Take this!!!
Bwahahahaha!

Lethally yours,
Wingates

Dear people who may have been burnt in attempt to immolate Plague Monkeys with a flamethrower.

Sorry about that, would you like some ice cream? I'll buy anything you want :)

Apologetically yours,
Wingates

Elspeth
03-17-2009, 04:51 AM
Dear Plaguemonkeys

STAY AWAY FROM ME!!! I own 7 swords, or was it 9. I will hurt you. I have an opening night soccer game to go to this Thursday and I don't want to get sick.

Dear Nickelback
Thank you for making such a rocking ablum!!!!!!

Dear weather
Grab and ()*&%(*#&%(*#$&(*&%(*&*( clue and please make up your mind. I am tired of the snow and the cold and the wind. K? Also I am not allowed to say the word Snow, because it does when i say it.

Dear Hubby
thank you for the trip to the zoo. It was fun. If if you did get weird pictures of monkeys. I question buying you the nice Canon 40D somedays

Dear Seattle sports teams
Can we not suck this year? Please. I have partial season tickets to the Sounders FC and I would like it to go well. Also Mariners, Seahawks, and Husky football, Grab a clue and remember how to play. Go Husky Men's Basketball (our one glimmer of hope)

Yours
Els

CaroPhoenix
03-17-2009, 11:23 AM
Not So Dear Germs Plaguing Me,

GO AWAY! Several people now have demanded you leave my body and attack someone else. But you didn't listen to them, did you? NO! You had to stay around last night and now ... now .. :cry: I can barely talk above a whisper and even that hurts! Both of my ears hurt too. I'm not a happy penguin! I want my voice back. I want my ears back. I was supposed to go out and hang with my daughter at her school and then I was supposed to hang out with friends afterwards.

Sick of being sick,
Rummy

SengaKitty
03-17-2009, 05:07 PM
Dear Body,

I am NOT happy with you right now. First you allow the plague monkey to invade and take over, and then, without even a break, while I continue to try to fight the plague monkey, you allow Aunt Flow to come visit? WTF is up with that?! I have toooo much to do this week to fight both a plague monkey and aunt flow. So I demand they go away. RIGHT NOW!

Upset
RHPG

Not so dear Plague monkey
LEAVE US ALL ALONE!! We want our lives back :cry:
RHPG

CaroPhoenix
03-17-2009, 06:33 PM
Dear Fellow CSers,

I have the plague monkeys known as both Strep Throat and/or Tonsilitis. :cry:

I am contagious for the next 24 hours until the Amoxicillian I'm on takes a hold of my plague(s) and makes me to feel better.

Sincerely and very tired, run over, sick,
Rummy

kaetchen
03-17-2009, 06:51 PM
Dear self:

Your hair is almost grown all the way in...yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now don't pull at it at all! I know it's tempting, but don't do it okay... I know it was looking better, and it seems to be at a plateau of filling it, but it's been 12 years and I'm sure there's hella damage. It will probably take a lot longer than you thought, maybe even a few more months just for that one area.

<33333

p.s.
Don't do the midnight shift again unless you prepare better for it. I know you tried, but maybe you should have tried a little harder.

Dear Boy,
Remember that I worked until 7am after being up since 11am the day before? Please don't jump on the bed to wake me up at 10 am. :(

Dear Sgt.
Sorry I scared you when I didn't come into work! Thanks for making sure I wasn't dead/hurt though...



Dear Mom...
Please don't just walk into my apartment without knocking again. I know I asked you to pick me up to take me to my photography class since I was too tired to drive, but knock first? Also, when I said 5:40, I meant 5:40...not 5:15. I was just getting out of the shower and the roomy left the door to the apt unlocked when he came home...

You annoyed the hell out of my roommate (and me) and I don't know how you didn't notice him SITTING at his desk when you were standing right in front of his door while I was in the bathroom getting ready in a hurry. You were speaking very loud, and I was getting annoyed.

P.S.
I know you were talking to me about a friend of your's daughter who I used to babysit back in the day. I sympathize that she's having a hard time at the middle school that I went to when I was that age. I was bullied and had some MAJOR issues with other students and a lot of the staff (for not doing anything about it.). I get that it sucks, HOWEVER... I never PROVOKED any of it. S is deaf and wears hearing aids...but she is just completely off her rocker and I'm sure that she's the type to do stuff on purpose to push people's buttons... just please stop asking me to e-mail or talk to her... I don't know what you want me to do.

P.s.s Thanks for telling me that my facebook was public, I'm not sure HOW that happened, but I think I might know. I'm just slightly irritated that you went through the whole thing to be nosy. Also... I wish you wouldn't tell your 2 friends EVERYTHING about me. I ran into one of them at the store with the boy...and she just kept going on and on. Some of these things weren't true, and I'm not sure why you told her that at all..but the other things were kind of personal and none of her business.

CaroPhoenix
03-17-2009, 08:11 PM
Dear Mr. Rum,

Please come home. Please!? I'm about to fall asleep at any minute. It's taking all my will power to keep from just closing my eyes and sleeping. Someone has to watch Child Rum. Or she'll run away or hurt herself.

Can't hold out much longer ...
Mrs. Rum

smileyeagle1021
03-18-2009, 02:20 PM
Dear plague victims,
I have no plague... I think it is worth mentioning :p

ok, I'm probably going to die now as a huge mob of plague victims hunt me down.
if I don't post again it's because a mob tore me limb from limb
looking forward to meeting y'all though, please do be kind enough to introduce yourselves before killing me :wave:

Wingates_Hellsing
03-18-2009, 03:09 PM
Dear Plague Monkeys,

I would be shouting at you right now if it weren't for the fact that I can't speak!
And would you tell your Plague Monkey freinds besieging rummy to stop for like 5 seconds? If you don't I'll RAID you!!!

*points RAID can into open mouth, thinks better of it, goes back on the cough drops.... and pouts in anger at missing my german class*

I'm blaming you for ambushing me at school yesterday, at the least mix it up a bit. I'm also blaming you for my bad german grade...

damning you even now,
Wingates

taurinejunkie
03-18-2009, 03:51 PM
'Dear' self-confidence issues,

You've sort of disappeared for a while now. There's this girl at work I like, and will be hanging out with Friday night. Please stay the fuck away. And never come back.

Shangri-laschild
03-18-2009, 04:17 PM
Dear Kaetchen,

Yeah, I told J since he was covering for D. Not only that, but I told Chief. I'm not sure why there was so much confusion....

fireheart
03-19-2009, 04:12 AM
Dear Cellulite,

Please go away.

Love Fireheart.

Dear brain,

Yes I am trying to learn French and make something of myself at uni. So kindly help me to stop procrastinating and I'll give you a lovely treat of some Sudoku puzzles k?

fireheart.

Dear assholes who made 6 months of my life a nightmare,

OK, I told you guys specifically to stop calling me schnookums and various other pet names. Those pet names have now left me with a hate for pet names in all forms. You did not stop calling me schnookums when I told you to, because you thought it was fun and a joke. Well I didn't. You are so lucky that I did not charge you with harassment and I can no longer press charges because I wound up wiping the MSN conversations that we'd had. Also, sex is not to be used as blackmail. Ever. No, I know we did not have sex (thank you morals) but performing other sexual favours is NOT a way to gain favour with you or to be used as blackmail ever. If I hear that you've been doing the same to my friend that you have now befriended, then I don't care if you're an SES member or whatever, it does not make you immune to breaking laws across the state, so I will not hesitate to help her press charges against you.
Also, leave me alone. I'm surviving through uni quite well without you, so please don't try and bait me using a friend.

Love fireheart.

Dear asshole of a coworker,

Stop harassing my teammates. Please. Or I swear to God, you'll be sorry.

fireheart.

CaroPhoenix
03-19-2009, 12:03 PM
Dear Child Rum,

Using utensils is a good thing. Trust me. Hands get less dirty.

Love,
Mommy

monolayth
03-19-2009, 05:14 PM
Dear sister-in-law,

You are not my friend on myspace for a reason. I don't approve of your lifestyle. I also think your a stupid bi%#^. You are rude to me and embody every trait of stupid customers that I hate. The only reason I talk to you or see you is because you married my brother. And even then I limit it because I don't always get along with him.

I like that we have maintained seprate lives. It's nice. I don't do illegal drugs. You glorify it's use. I don't want to be associate with people who are like that. Even the friends I have who might do it are discrete about it. Your myspace page is all about it.

You have pictures on your PUBLIC myspace page showing you doing illegal drugs. Regardless what country you might have been it's not smart to post it. Ya see there is no proof in the pictures of your location.


Oh dear lord.

You have called now. You are having an argument with my step sister. How lovely. I have not spoken to my step sister since my father married her mother. Probably because she is a spoiled stupid cow like you.

Oh lord your trying to get ahold of my father to settle this dispute. He probably alredy knows and is not answering your calls for a reason. He quit being any shape or form on a father figure when I move out when I was 14. You must remember this is the man who chose to disregard his children for the sake of his step children. Its not like his step children needed him any more, they are the same age as my brother and I.

Come on D, this is the man who travlled from north carolina to illinois to visit K who lives 6 houses down from you. And yet could not make it to stop by and say hi to his grandkids.

D, you need to get a clue.

the_std
03-19-2009, 06:34 PM
Dear Plague Monkey,

Mwahahaha! I seem to have defeated you! Victory is sweet! I... Oh... Wait... What is this cough? You've retreated into my lungs? Nooo! My Fortress of Solitude!

... You shall rue the day you began this fight, evil Monkey. You shall rue it!

Plottingly,
Me

CaroPhoenix
03-19-2009, 11:49 PM
Dear Man I Married,

Just because I have been taking my antibiotics since Tuesday afternoon, doesn't mean I've miraculously been healed of my strep throat. Please be coming home to take care of me. :cry:

The Woman You Married
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Child Rum,

If you pull my hair one more time, I'm taking Daddy's beard trimmer and/or shaver and shaving my head! Pulling my hair hurts!

:cry:
Your Mommy

Becks
03-20-2009, 04:43 AM
Dear McD's fries,

I miss you.

:cry:

--me

Wingates_Hellsing
03-20-2009, 04:52 AM
Dear Rummy

Don't shave your hair!

Instead, consider pulling on child Rum's hair every time (he/she?) pulls on yours... if that doesn't teach her... nothing will.

Random forum member,
Wingates

Dear Republican Friend

I DO own a rifle... shocking as it may be...
I'm not the kind of liberal that throws in with everything every democrat has ever said. I resent the assumption, just as you resent my supposed assumption that guns are the ultimate evil.

Broodingly,
Wingates

Dear people in my neighborhood

Hoodies do not = ultimate evil. It's annoying how you actively avoid coming near me to the point where you leave the sidewalk even though I am well out of your way.

Disapprovingly,
Wingates

iradney
03-20-2009, 05:23 AM
Dear Rummy's husband

Dude, I swear, Imma get your address and Have A Little Talk with you. It will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy it.

Rads

Dear Rummy

NOOOOOOOOOO Don't shave your hair! No shaving of the hair!!!
Love
Rads

CaroPhoenix
03-20-2009, 11:50 AM
Dear Rads & W_H,

I'll probably not shave my head. I might just go to the local hair cutting place & get all the colored stuff cut out, leaving about an inch or 2 of my real hair. I am tired of having 2 toned hair.

Soothingly,
Rummy
------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Rads,

Yes, please come to the States and have a talk with my husband. He needs a couple of clueX4's to the head I think. :D

Love,
Rummy

kaetchen
03-21-2009, 02:32 AM
Dear Jake,
Thanks for getting me OJ and taking me home in the squad from work since I was all super dizzy and junk. You didn't havvee to, but thanks.


Dear D,
I'm serious when I said I needed to upgrade to a robot body. (One with bigger arms too...the BP cuff in the med room is far too big for my little arms.)

Bella_Vixen
03-21-2009, 02:56 AM
Dear Frederick's Of Hollywood--

Why do you charge me $12 for shipping and yourself only $7.95 when returning, well, a return? :rant:

Shady.

Oh yeah...feel free to send an order confirmation email BEFORE you ship items. The only thing about my body that is a size 6 are my ring fingers.

Frustrated--

Me

************************************************** **

Dear Ben and Jerry's--

Why is Dublin Mudslide so addicting?!?!

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

Blissfully--

Me

Elspeth
03-21-2009, 04:33 AM
Dear Bella_Vixen
Dublin Mudslide?!?!?! Crap, why do I now feel the need to find this evil

Els

Dear Seattle Sounders
Thank you for a wonderful opening night!!!! I haven't cheered that loud and long since high school. I can't wait to go to more games! Especially the Chelsea match in July!! I may not understand what is going on all the time but I know I like you.

Though I would like my voice back by next Saturday's game so I can lose it again :roll:

The new soccer fan
Els

Bella_Vixen
03-21-2009, 05:32 AM
Dear Elspeth--

I moved heaven and earth to get the FF manager at my work to order it for me. Luckily, one of our secondary suppliers had it. 8 pints, and they're all MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *evil laugh*

Seriously, the only other way for me to get it was to special order it from B&J, for overnight delivery, with a minimum order of 6 pints, with an average price working out to $9/pint. I consider myself lucky that I "only" had to pay regular retail for mine.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Bailey's flavored ice cream with chocolate chocolate chip cookies and a mocha fudge.

Ask around at your favorite grocery store. Miracles can happen.

:wave:

--Bella

RootedPhoenix
03-22-2009, 03:35 AM
Dear laptop,

I don't know how you managed to become such a crazy hunk of plastic, silicon, and binary confusion, but really, STOP IT.

If this is the thanks I get for installing XP SP3 and the 40 bajillion updates afterwards(go procrastination?), I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE. *whimper* *sob!*

--RP

Dear wireless USB adapter,

Your days are numbered, since you lose your physical USB connection all the time. :mad: Be ready.

--RP

Dear iMac,

Thank you for not being insane. *hugs!*

--RP

edit:
"Dear" costochondritis (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/costochondritis/DS00626), allergies, and migraines.

I HATE YOU.
You make my chest hurt. You keep me from breathing properly. You clog my nose. You make sunshine painful.

DIE.
Because I'm not willing to even feel like I am. :punch:

Sincerely,
--me.

Dear medical science,

Never go away, okay? *fangirl squeal!* :lol:
But, seriously, you are awesome.
If you'd just stop charging so much, you'd be perfect.

--RP

Bella_Vixen
03-23-2009, 04:31 AM
Dear Mr. Becks--

Thanks for helping me buy my new computer!

*happy dance*

--me

********************************************

Dear new computer--

You rock!!!!!!

*happy dance*

--me

********************************************

Dear 2nd oldest nephew--

I realize you had a shitty day, but you could have at least called.

--Your understanding but still slightly pissed off aunt


PS *slap upside the head for being inattentive while driving.* *hugs for being glad to you are OK.*
*********************************************

RootedPhoenix
03-23-2009, 06:56 AM
Dear Bella,

May I join you in your new-computer happy dance?
I love new computer joy. Makes my geeky self all warm and fuzzy.

--RP

SengaKitty
03-23-2009, 09:23 AM
Dear Job Corps councelor,
Please have some news for us this week! Something more than "We're still waiting to hear back from the school" It'd be greatly appreciated.

Anxiously Waiting,
RHPG

±±±±±±±±±±±±

Not so dear owner of the building,
That place was NOT rented out til only midnight, it had been rented for all of Saturday night and Sunday. You, Sir, are an ass. You had no right to come barging in and break up a party for which that room had been reserved simply because you were drunk. Because of the way in which you did, my Sir now has a badly scraped up knee, and a sprained wrist, and is stuck in a wrist splint for two days. And of course it's his left hand and he's left handed. I know for a fact your sisters (who own the building with you) are pissed at you, as is your lawyer, who happens to be my friend, and my friends dom.
Please DIAF.
No love
River's faerie (RHPG)

Megg
03-23-2009, 06:50 PM
Dear Bella,

I love my new computer too! Can I dance with you? :)

Love,

Megg

Becks
03-23-2009, 11:12 PM
Dear Lizziebeff,

I love your new computer, too.

Thanks for letting me take it over today.

...Sorry for hogging it...

And I'm also sorry for waking you up this morning.

Love,

Becks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear kittens,

Stop it with the claws.

Please.

I'm starting to look like I escaped from a stabber.

Love,

your mommy

crazylegs
03-23-2009, 11:35 PM
Not so Dear Mast Cells

WTF, why have you decided that after 25 years I should now be allergic to something!?!

Regards,

Your host.

Dear Loratadine,

You can kick in any time you want now...

Regards

Your taker.

Bella_Vixen
03-24-2009, 04:05 AM
Dear Megg and Rooted Pheonix--

Of course you can join in on my new computer happy dance. The more the merrier.

--Bella

************************************************** ************

Dear Becks--

Thanks for breaking my computer in for me.

--Sunshine

************************************************** ************

Dear Becks (again)--

Of course I forgive you for waking me up this morning. Just please never do it like that again.

Not hungover (that's for amatures!)

--Sunshine

************************************************** ***********

Dear Becks' kittens--

Don't make me bring Cousin Rooks over to vist.

Menacingly--

--Auntie

************************************************** **********

Dear 2nd oldest nephew--

Thanks for setting up the wireless on my new computer.

*hugs*

Now get yourself to the DMV and get your new DL.

--your favorite aunt

************************************************** ************

Dear 2nd youngest nephew--

*hug*

*smack upside the head*

*hug*

Don't EVER do that again!

--YOUR favorite aunt

************************************************** **************

CaroPhoenix
03-24-2009, 12:42 PM
Dear CS.com,

Today I take the last of my antibiotics to combat the plague monkey known as Strep Throat. So far, so good. *knocks on wood* I'm feeling a heck of a lot better.

Happily,
Rummy

monolayth
03-24-2009, 07:25 PM
Dear CS,

Just scheduled my ultrasound appt. April 7th. I am very excited. let's all hope for a Girl!

Counting the days.....(14)

mono....

CaroPhoenix
03-24-2009, 07:56 PM
Dear Mom,

Why is that when I talk to you on the phone, 99.99% of the time, I get a really bad tension headache?

Wonderingly & Achingly,
Your Daughter

SengaKitty
03-24-2009, 08:45 PM
Dear Mono,

WOOOOO!!!! Come onnnn Baby Girl


Dear Rummy
I hope you stay feelin better honey, and don't worry, I get those when I talk to my mom on the phone too..

Dear Job Corps,
So glad you didn't want me. DIAF.

RootedPhoenix
03-25-2009, 07:50 AM
Dear Bella,

*happydancedancedance!* YAY COMPUTERS! :D :D :D

--RP

"Dear" JobCorps,

:flame:

--RP

Dear RHPG,

*hugs and chocolate and comfort* I'm sorry. :( And they'd made you think they were gonna take you. Dingbats. :mad:

--RP

Rummy,

*offers herb tea and honey* I hope you get rid of your strep throat quick! I haaaate that stuff. *hugs gently*

--RP

Dear mono,

*hopeshopeshopes* Also I hope that all goes well. :)

--RP

SengaKitty
03-25-2009, 03:51 PM
Dear RP,
Thanks for the support. Apparently the admissions councilor was trying to get me in, but the schools weren't going to accept me because of the way I left last time (resigned after I completed the course, instead of going through transition/graduation etc). But I only found that out after all decisions had been made (Re: And so RHPG's life takes another turn in Off Topic).
Hugs
RHPG

CaroPhoenix
03-25-2009, 10:31 PM
Dear Mr. Rum,

Where are you? Why haven't you called?

Worriedly,
Mrs. Rum
----------------------------------------------------------------
To my bottle of Sailor Jerry's Rum,

You and I are going to get really cozy tonight. :eyewaggle:

:devil:
Rummy

the_std
03-25-2009, 10:40 PM
Dear Calgary,

GET READY! Momma's a-comin'!

Cacklingly,
Me

SengaKitty
03-25-2009, 11:38 PM
Dear places I gave/sent my resume to,
Please call me soon! I'm a really hard worker and a fast learner, so if I don't know it already, I promise I'll learn it in a week :)

------------

Dear Future place to live
Help me find you!

-----------

Dear Sir
I love you, I'm going to miss you, you are my world, and I know this is going to be hard, but don't ever ever forget I love you and am going to be here waiting for you when you get out of the Hell Hole, er Job Corps. Also remember, if a girl hits on you, tell me, and I'll cut a ho... :angel:
Yours forever
Your faerie

ETA:
Dear R and M,
Thank you for being such awesome friends, I love you guys and can't wait to see you saturday! We're gonna have a blast :) Don't forget, I'm bringing the Sir, AND the vodka ;)

crazylegs
03-26-2009, 02:52 PM
Dear Medical Science

You've developed a drain that can be changed at home (and reasonably easily too) so why can't you develop a drugs driver that can have the drug changed half way through without having to take the whole damn thing out at once?

Yours, challengingly.

Crazylegs

Evil Queen
03-26-2009, 04:16 PM
Dear Stuff,

Please let me get rid of some of you so I can move to New Mexico without having to rent a u-haul. :cry:

I'm a pack rat,
-EQ

SengaKitty
03-26-2009, 07:17 PM
Dear Employers,
Please call me? And pretty please stop calling if you're commission only, or a scam. I really can't do that (again). -sigh-

Dear RW's Slobbering Dog in the Sky,
Please help a decent employer to find me. I promise I'm a really hard worker, and a fast learner. I won't let you down if you help me!

RW's online friend

Dear Ford dealership employees,
You laughed in my face yesterday when I came in looking for a job. And not figuratively. No, you actually had the nerve to look at me, dressed more professionaly than you, and laugh in my face. So guess what? You can go DIAF. I will buy your place of employment one day, and kick your ass out to the pavement, while laughing at you.
No, I'm not vendictive at all, why do you ask?

Dear place to live,
Why haven't you helped me find you yet?

Bella_Vixen
03-27-2009, 01:32 AM
Dear Becks--

Sorry for feeling carsick.

:cry:

--Sunshine

**************************************************

Dear Mr. Becks--

See above.

--me

************************************************** **

Dear Becks (again)--

I had fun today.

:wave:

--Sunshine

************************************************** *****

Dear Mr. Becks (again)--

Thanks for driving.

--me

************************************************** *********

Becks
03-27-2009, 04:00 AM
Dear Lizziebeff,

I had fun today, too.

I wish I could've done something for you when you were carsick. :(

Love,

Becks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear MOTH™.

I kinda really want that ring I linked you to.

Please?

Batting eyelashes,

--me

Bella_Vixen
03-27-2009, 04:01 AM
Dear Becks--

There was nothing you could have done.

Although, maybe keeping some Advil in your purse in case of an emergency....




I'm sorry you want that ring. So do I.

--Sunshine

fireheart
03-27-2009, 05:19 AM
Dear brain,

Yes I was feeding you antidepressants for several months. You liked it. Now I'm coming off of them and you are giving me dizzy spells. please, please, please, stop giving me dizzy spells.

SengaKitty
03-27-2009, 09:44 AM
Dear Gods above whoever you are,

You seem to have been very displeased with me for a while now. I'm not sure why, but such is the case. This week, this seems to be turning around. I've found an EXCELLENT price for an airline ticket to Atlanta for a weekend to see my son just a few days before his birthday. I would very much appreciate it if you would please please please assist me in turning my mother in law and sister's hearts and heads to forming a meeting so that I might see my son, if only for a few hours. I am going to email the MIL right now. Please let her read said email. Please let my sister answer the phone tomorrow when I call her, and be agreeable. Please let my MIL be agreeable. Please let it all work

Right now I'm feeling like I'm not allowed to be this lucky. I won't believe any of it until I have my son in my arms the weekend of 4/11-4/12.

Please help me with this
RHPG

SengaKitty
03-28-2009, 03:00 PM
Not so Dear MIL,
Don't you ever Ever EVER call MY son your son again. He is NOT your son. You did not conceive him and carry him. YOU did not nearly die giving birth to him. YOU did not pump and cry and do your best to give him milk. YOU did not do everything to protect him from the "man" who really IS your son when he tried to kill both me and MY son while I was pregnant. Yes, you take care of him. Yes you have custody of him (though I have ways of battling that). But you are not, nor will you EVER BE his mother.

The true mother of your GRAND son
RHPG

RootedPhoenix
03-28-2009, 08:23 PM
Dear RHPG,

I'm sorry she's doing this to you. :( How horrible of her. *lots of hugs and offers chocolate*

--RP

CaroPhoenix
03-29-2009, 12:11 AM
Dear fellow CSers,

I have finished watching the entire 4 seaons of Dragnet on hulu.com!

Let's all do a celebratory dance!

Dancing,
Rummy
---------------------------------------------------------------
Dear legs & ankles,

Why are you so swollen I can barely bend my knees or ankles while walking up the stairs? Do you know how hard it is to get around? :cry: I know I at more salt than usual, but please, don't do this to me again!

Worriedly,
Rummy

RootedPhoenix
03-29-2009, 05:25 PM
Dear various people,

(this is all mashed up, just venting)

Stop petulantly asking "If you could just....". I don't ask for your help for my own entertainment, okay?

(Problem x) is real. I don't really care if you can't see it. It's real. It makes things problematic. You figure I'm just lazy, and that if I just did (simple thing) all my troubles would vanish into a puff of smoke. You'd be funny with your naivete if you didn't make me so angry. (Simple thing) does nothing to change what (Problem x) is. It's there, and that's it. Stop asking me to do what amounts to giving birth to a refridgerator, okay? Just believe what I am telling you.

Your understanding of the world doesn't encompass all facets of everything, so do stop acting like it does.

If I hear it one more time, I'm going to melt it down/smash it and turn it into something decorative. Quit.

Lastly, don't ever share whatever it is that you're evidently smoking/whatever it is that you're evidently on with me. (Not that you do.) It makes you petulant, cranky, and makes you seem less intelligent than you evidently are.

--RP

Dear allergies,

Please vanish without a trace.

--RP

Dear skin,

Don't crack. Don't crackdon'tcrackdon'tcrack.

--the human you're on

Dear Rummy's legs and ankles,

Stop hurting her. :(

--RP

Dear Rummy,

*hugs gently* *offers herb tea, ice pads and heating pads*

--RP

CaroPhoenix
03-29-2009, 07:09 PM
Dear RP,

Thank you! I need to just lie down and keep my feet up for a while. :cry: That means Mr. Rum needs to watch Child Rum and not just yell at her while he's on the couch. :mad:

As for the idiots who think they're helping you: They can DIAF. :mad: I'll bop them alongside the head if you need me to. :D

Love,
Rummy

SengaKitty
03-29-2009, 07:22 PM
Dear RP,

-offers giant hugs- I'm here for you anytime you need to talk sweety. I've got Skype, Yahoo, and AIM, and i'm always on at least 2 out of the three.

RHPG

the_std
03-29-2009, 10:19 PM
Dear Fucktar- er, Friends,

There are various rules of etiquette that accompany sharing a hotel room with other people, especially when the two beds are a mere two feet apart. I shall now share a few of these with you.

1. There is no way to suck dick quietly. I don't care how horny you are, I don't care how stealthy you think you're being, it just cannot happen. I find it hard to sleep with the slurp and giggle routine going on four feet away from my head, but it is especially bad when you wake me up from a blissful slumber to do this at three in the farking morning.

2. I know that, when you're asleep, it is nearly impossible to control your bodily eructations, but for the love of god, take some Beano or something before you go to sleep. On the night when you didn't wake me up with your little fantasy fest, you managed to do so with a combination of the nastiest farts I've ever been witness to, and the most unholy snoring my poor ears have ever had to hear. And it wasn't just one of you! Both of you kept up with the terrifying body noises long enough to make attempting sleep nearly impossible.

3. Hiding your dirty, smelly underwear and socks in my bed before I get into it so that, when I turn over, I get a face full of your daily sweat and other secretions, was the most juvenile thing I have ever been witness to. You are so lucky that I was nearly comatose from lack of sleep (caused by you numbskulls) that, even though I wanted to, I hadn't the energy to brutally destroy you.

I am never, ever taking a trip with the two of you again. Consider yourselves blessed that you survived this one intact.

Glad to be home and away from you,
Me

RootedPhoenix
03-29-2009, 10:37 PM
Dear the_std,

I agree. I wouldn't take another trip with those two either. I'm sorry. :(

I have chocolate, though. *offers*

--RP

Dear Benadryl,

You're fired.

--RP

crazylegs
03-30-2009, 09:15 AM
Dear the_std,

Uh, yer, they don't sound like the easiest of couples to get along with. You have my sympathies on having to deal with their lack of manners.

On a lighter note I very nearly cleansed my sinuses with coke upon reading the first paragraph, I really should know better by now!

Regards,

Crazylegs

++++++++++++++++++++

Dear LR,

My word, you really are one lucky bastard, you know that right? Get with sending me the visitors times so I can admonish you for letching at the nurses!

Crazylegs

SengaKitty
03-30-2009, 10:04 AM
Dear Smiley's hotel
Get your damn internet working again so I can keep my Smiley brother smiling!

smileyeagle1021
03-30-2009, 10:21 AM
Dear Smiley's hotel
Get your damn internet working again so I can keep my Smiley brother smiling!

translated-
Dear Telecom,
Stop sucking like you are well known to do. Please restore internet to Smiley's hotel so RHPG can talk to the gay brother that she never had (even though she probably does).

while we're at it
Dear Telecom,
This is why I'm now with Comcast instead of you at home... good day.

Dear Bossman,
Seriously, the building is falling apart... your external lights are running off of standard grade 20 Amp circuit which is going on 40 years old... the pipes are starting to make noise... light outlets are starting to flicker and need to be replaced... and now the network is starting to have problems... can you please get the hint that what the hotel needs is a complete overhaul.

Dear RHPG,
Thanks for being the sister that I never had... you have kept me sane, and for that I thank you.

SengaKitty
03-30-2009, 11:24 AM
Dear Smiley,
You now have me in tears, as you too have kept ME sane. You are the brother who cares about me, and I love you for it. Thank you for spending my sleepless nights with me. By the way, come to Louisville, the sun's making it's first appearance in FOUR DAYS! I told you this weeks gonna change!


Dear Gods,
This is it. Get ready. It's time for a take down scene, cause this faerie's DONE. I am not letting you hold that magnifying glass over me any more. I will not be the ant. This week things will change. This week things will get better. I REFUSE (yes that was necessary) to allow things to get any worse than they already are. The only place they're allowed to go from here is up. So get ready, cause I may be submissive, but submissive does NOT equal doormat!
Come here you mean kid and gimme that magnifier -goes after the Gods themselves-