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View Full Version : One Question People Never Think to Ask When Making Lodging Reservations, But Should


Dips
09-11-2006, 04:29 PM
And that question is:

"Are there any wedding groups staying on that weekend?"

My husband and I had, in almost all respects, one of the nicest weekend getaways ever. We got to go to the beach, visit Newport, RI, ate some fabulous food and even got to go visit the Fairy Gordmother and the Gordfather,* whom we haven't seen in years.

But wedding guests, while harmless in singles or couples, are an absolute horror when found in flocks. It's like they read a handbook on how to be rude, entitled, loud and monopolizing.

So here it is:

The Handbook of Sucky Wedding Etiquette in Hotels

Chapter 1: Feel Free to Be Rude

There's nothing wrong with leaving scraps of food and spent cigarette butts on the rail of another guest's balcony. After all you're there to celebrate love. There's just no time for common courtesy.

Chapter 2: Yes, You ARE Entitled

A need to dry damp beach towels far outweighs the need for the flowers in the windowboxes not to be crushed.

And theres nothing wrong with storing your six picnic coolers on the common deck so all your friends and relatives can help themselves to beer without waking you up. Let them wake up all the other guests with rooms facing the deck instead.

Chapter 3: Share the Love and the Noise

It's much better to have a party in the hallway outside of another guest's room so you don't wake up your own spouse. After all, a wedding is a celebration worth sharing. The whole world must able to rejoice with you.

Even better, if you find that the hallways too cramped, just camp on the deck all night to catch up with your college friends you haven't seen in two whole months. Be sure to whoop and holler at top volume periodically. Other guests won't want to miss one precious moment of your happiness by falling asleep.

Chapter 4: The Entire Inn Exist for YOU, Monopolize Everything

The other guests, with whom you have been loudly sharing your joy all morning, noon, night and morning again, must not try to share anything else with you like the common areas of the inn.

The woman trying to read her newspaper on the deck is interfering with YOUR enjoyment and you must give her funny looks and glares when she wishes you good morning and tells you she is saving the other chair at her table for her husband. After all, that horrible intrusive bitch just made you walk 5 extra feet to get a chair from an empty table.

It is also very important that no other guests dare try to use the pool; be sure to abandon your screaming children and six of their cousins there to ensure that the pool is unusable by anyone else.

It is also imperative that no non-wedding guests try to sit on their own balconies to enjoy the ocean view while YOU are trying to to have a family reunion on the deck. Be sure to look at them like they are the intruders. It's not as if they paid any money to stay in the inn and enjoy the view.

*Note: The Fairy Gordmother is a dear friend of mine. She is my children's godmother and my daughter once asked her, "Are you my fairy godmother?" Since she and her husband own a gaming/comic/anime/fantasy store, I felt "Fairy Gordmother" was a fitting nickname for her and there's no reason not to call her husband "The Gordfather." Yes, I told them about this site and about the real Gord, to whom they can definitely relate. Hopefully, they check it out. ;)

Misanthropical
09-11-2006, 08:05 PM
Also ask about family reunions going on, for the very same reasons.

RecoveringKinkoid
09-11-2006, 08:22 PM
A hotel here in town a couple years ago...can't remember what chain...once booked a small sci fi con the same weekend it had some local Baptist convention.

Now THERE were two groups that got on each other's nerves a bit. I was running a LARP at that con. Wow. :no:

Rapscallion
09-11-2006, 08:56 PM
Oh - you just reminded me. I invaded a convention where Jennie (our resident cartoonist) was attending, and the convention was mostly gaming, LARPing, and a couple of comic stalls - not a huge event by any stretch of the imagination.

Several people made comments about how they nearly burst into flames going past their banquetting room.

I'll admit that some dirt flaked off...

Actually, I met a couple of the chaps in the gentleman's room, and they were decent sorts, though I was in shirt and trousers at the time and nothing too garish.

Rapscallion

ditchdj
09-12-2006, 12:19 AM
Oh yeah it reminded me of when we got a room at the Holiday Inn here because they have an indoor pool and we like to have all the family kids come over and we swim together. Next to it there was a jerkoff wedding group and some stuck up bitch was coming over and telling my daughter and her cousin how to use the pool. My wife started giving her a major death glare and she quit doing it and turned around and went back to her group and stayed there. I would have said something but I didnt know about it until my wife told me about it later.

Antisocial_Worker
09-12-2006, 01:27 AM
The two groups I dearly wish we could ban from my hotel are baseball teams and wedding groups. It's nothing but misery any time one or the other, or God forbid, both, make an appearance.

lordlundar
09-12-2006, 04:25 AM
A hotel here in town a couple years ago...once booked a small sci fi con the same weekend it had some local Baptist convention. ..
...I was running a LARP at that con.

:eek: Did you get bonus points for starting a holy war?:angel:

My cousin actually had his wedding last Saturday. I tell you, the wedding party was feeling NO pain when they came into the reception hall.:lol:

draftermatt
09-12-2006, 11:46 AM
I can understand being upset, but it goes both ways.

My wedding was at a country club. And the "members" who were in the pool got upset and complained about the stuff written on the cars. You know like, Just Married, and Have Fun Tonight.

Granted, my groomsmen's cars got "racier" stuff but nothing bad. No cussing, no real inappropriatness.

It just made me mad, because the cars were in the parking lot. We never once went around the pool or other areas. Just the yard where the wedding was and the dining hall for the reception.

Gurndigarn
09-12-2006, 12:10 PM
A hotel here in town a couple years ago...once booked a small sci fi con the same weekend it had some local Baptist convention.

My wife volunteers at a filk convention. If you're not familiar with the term, it's a music convention. For the science fiction and fantasy community. And this one just happens to be the world's biggest one.

Part of their contract states that guests will get a block of rooms together. Blocked over all the rooms that see public concerts. And it's not uncommon for, after the public events die down around 1-2 AM, for the private parties to start.

Somehow, this elderly couple ended up with a room over one of the public rooms. Oh, they were upset, to say the least. Did I mention that it's not unusual to see full drum kits, or electric guitars, or bagpipes at one of these things? Or some even weirder instruments, as some of the people going to these also are part of the SCA? Anyway, the convention was kicked out of the rooms directly below them, despite their contract. So, they took that particular event to the main lobby. Hey, nobody was going to miss sleep there. Except the hotel staff, who had to worry when a bunch of guys and girls in variations on Robin Hood/Maid Marion outfits, plus the odd klingon, goth, dorsai raider, faerie, and so forth outfits, showed up with a LOT of instruments right by the front desk. With loud songs, often about death and destruction.

Police got called on a Disturbing the Peace issue. Police arrived, just in time to hear a rousing chorus of "How many of them can we MAKE DIE?" Police took one look at the signed contract between the hotel and convention, said "This is your problem", and left.

Dips
09-12-2006, 05:35 PM
And the "members" who were in the pool got upset and complained about the stuff written on the cars. You know like, Just Married, and Have Fun Tonight.

Did the CC actually take their complaints seriously enough to force you to move your cars? If having wedding guests park in the lot is so bothersome to the members, perhaps the CC could stop having wedding receptions. Members can vote on these things, you know. Of course, they'll have to give up the event income and pay higher member fees as a result. Can't have it both ways.

Somehow, this elderly couple ended up with a room over one of the public rooms. Oh, they were upset, to say the least. Did I mention that it's not unusual to see full drum kits, or electric guitars, or bagpipes at one of these things?

<snip>


:lol:

What? No fifes? [I'm a fife player, btw.] ;)

I'm cracking up laughing trying to picture that scene in the lobby.

draftermatt
09-12-2006, 06:21 PM
Did the CC actually take their complaints seriously enough to force you to move your cars?

Nothing was ever said to us by anyone that matters in the place. (I would have told them off if it had been). I was informed after the honeymoon that many people overheard the members complaining to themselves, etc.

They've been doing weddings/receptions for a long long time, I can't imagine they are going to stop.

Gurndigarn
09-12-2006, 10:55 PM
Did I mention that it's not unusual to see full drum kits, or electric guitars, or bagpipes at one of these things? Or some even weirder instruments, as some of the people going to these also are part of the SCA?
What? No fifes? [I'm a fife player, btw.] ;)

I'm cracking up laughing trying to picture that scene in the lobby.

I'm not personally familiar with any fife players... but filking being what it is, I'm sure there are one or two in the world.

RecoveringKinkoid
09-13-2006, 01:51 AM
Yeah, the hotels used to really annoy me when they would book a con at their place and then act all suprised when a con actually took place. At this point, I feel like "hey you're a hotel, you know what a con is. If you don't want that kind of mayhem going on, don't book the con!"

Yes, I know all sort of crap happens during cons. But then, so do the hotels. Either suck it up, or don't book the con in the first place! Sheesh!

I realize noisy stuff doesn't need to be happening in common areas open to people's doors (in the case of indoor balconies) or in halls in front of people's rooms. But that's what the ballrooms and party floors are for. Don't book the Lawrence Welk crowd on the party floors.

Dips
09-13-2006, 03:39 PM
I was informed after the honeymoon that many people overheard the members complaining to themselves, etc.

That's good that the club didn't try to do anthing to you, because you weren't causing trouble. Sounds like the poor complaining dears need to either pay more to join a club which doesn't book weddings or shut up. :rolleyes:

I'm not personally familiar with any fife players... but filking being what it is, I'm sure there are one or two in the world.

Fife-playing is a lonely art. People tend to run far, far away whenever we play. Unless we've been hired to play at an event. In that case, we make the client pay us an extra fee to stop playing. ;)

ForestDragon
09-24-2006, 05:55 AM
Police arrived, just in time to hear a rousing chorus of "How many of them can we MAKE DIE?"


Oooh, I just LURV that song! :devil: Was Heather Alexander her ownself there, or was it just the con-goers?

In honor of this particular post, I just have to post the lyrics of an old filksong on this very subject. Apparently the problem you mentioned is not a new one, and definitely not the first time this has happened, since the song dates back to 1982 or possibly earlier.


MARCON BALLROOM
by Anne Passovoy
Tune: Plastic Jesus

Here in these air-conditioned breezes
Here I sit while my ass freezes
In the ballroom of this big hotel.
Now they know damn well our cons are raucous
Why in God's name can't they block us
Where we won't freak out their clientele?!

Marcon Ballroom, Marcon Ballroom
Sitting on my chilly plastic seat.
The hotel must have said "The train's in!
Here's our chance to pack mundanes in
Every room around the Dorsai suite!"

'Bout midnight when we're gettin' noisy
They move in some guy from Boise
Soon he's hearin' music in the halls.
Then thirty voices hit the chorus
Whoops, the plywood must be porous
The little guy next door is climbing walls.

Marcon Ballroom, Marcon Ballroom
Here we sit in exile on the floor.
Will the fans forevermore sigh
"Nothing human stops the Dorsai!
('Cept three tourists banging on the door.)"

Well, it's one little guy and two old ladies
Jumpin' up and down and raising Hades
Hearing all the music from our room.
The final splatter from the pigeon
Must've been Old Time Religion
They understood enough to drop the boom!

Marcon Ballroom, Marcon Ballroom
Sitting here we're risking frozen feet.
The only place we can sing next is
In the lobby where the desk is
Always heard it said revenge is sweet.

Marcon Ballroom, Marcon Ballroom
Years and cons and fans may come and go (and come and go)
One trick hotels will always favor is
Making sure your next door neighbor is
Someone guaranteed to close the show.

Gurndigarn
09-24-2006, 12:56 PM
MARCON BALLROOM
by Anne Passovoy
Tune: Plastic Jesus

This may be an old story. My wife has been on the Marcon concom committie* for several years, and it's a story she related to me, so I'm not sure of it's age. I don't do much filking myself; I'm more into boardgaming myself.

* Try saying that one five times fast.

Antisocial_Worker
09-24-2006, 08:33 PM
Marcon Ballroom, Marcon Ballroom
Sitting here we're risking frozen feet.
The only place we can sing next is
In the lobby where the desk is
Always heard it said revenge is sweet.

You don't know the meaning of revenge until you're thinking of where to bury the bodies of the clogging team practicing their routine in your lobby. They've moved the furniture, rolled up the rugs, and are doing their thing on ceramic tile -- and clogging, for those of you in the cheap seats, is a lot like tap dancing, only much louder.

Primer
09-24-2006, 10:49 PM
... the clogging team practicing their routine in your lobby. They've moved the furniture, rolled up the rugs, and are doing their thing on ceramic tile
erm...did they have permission fom the management to move the furniture and roll up the rugs?? much less to be clogging on the ceramic tile??? Explain to them how slippery said tiles can be, and how much they cost to replace when (not if) damaged. :eek: Do they have enough personal insurance to cover that? Be sure to emphasize that the hotel takes no responsibility for the group's actions!

Antisocial_Worker
09-25-2006, 01:36 AM
erm...did they have permission fom the management to move the furniture and roll up the rugs?? much less to be clogging on the ceramic tile???


As I recall, what basically transpired was that the clogging team was told they would be given a place to practice. Said place was not specified and the spokes-harpy of this group was a scary lady who more or less demanded the lobby. We thought they could have practiced in a room or a larger suite or something, or at the very least outside in the parking lot, but she wanted the lobby, and by God, she got the lobby.

As for injuries, the beautiful thing about our registrations is that each one amounts to a contract, and when you sign it you're agreeing that the Blah Inn is not responsible in any way for anything unfortunate that might happen to you or your belongings. You slipped in the tub or fell down the stairs? A stray cat got in and ate your treasured heirloom topaz? (It should pass through its system in a day or two -- feel free to retrieve it then) A miniature black hole opened up in your room and swallowed your children into its terrible, gaping maw?

We'll promise to feign sincere sympathy but that's all we're legally required to do. On the flip side though, we do not sign contracts presented by guests that hold them blameless for any damage that comes to the hotel. If, as a guest, you cause major damage, we have no trouble whatsoever suing you until you bleed -- and we've had to once or twice.

Edit: If the above comes off sounding too harsh, rest assured that if someone actually does come to harm at our property, we kiss ass, bow, scrape, and mince with the best of them. We do everything in our power to make things right, and our first concern is that the guest is not seriously injured, and to make sure they receive the proper care as quickly as possible if they are. However, when someone is trying to sue us (ie -- Whoo! Free Money!) because they fell down the stairs or whatever, when it clearly says on the registration that we're not responsible, that's when the gloves come off and we stop being nice.

XCashier
09-25-2006, 03:39 AM
A hotel here in town a couple years ago...can't remember what chain...once booked a small sci fi con the same weekend it had some local Baptist convention.
Heh. If I was staying at a hotel where there was a sci fi con or LARP going on, I'd probably ask to join in! :D

But yeah, the mundanes have a cow if they see so many people in costumes, and sometimes for very good reason. One memorable local con I heard about had one woman dressed as a harpy (including naked breasts), wearing bunny ears and carrying a basket of eggs. She was handing them out to everyone, con-goer or mundane and saying "Harpy Easter!" I saw the video tape showing her giving eggs to an elderly couple who looked like they were about to have heart attacks. :eek: :eek:

Becks
09-25-2006, 04:16 PM
Makes me want to look up the nearest amateur bagpiper's convention. :devil:

Slave to the Phone
09-25-2006, 11:12 PM
If you aren't bikers, don't have a formal wedding at the final stop of a large poker run. (If you are bikers, have the wedding but remember to stock lots of beer.)

If you aren't bikers and you still choose to have a formal wedding at the final stop of a large, well-known, annual poker run, don't complain about the noise or our attire.

If you do complain about the noise, don't be alarmed when the noise level goes up. Its just the bikers talking about and laughing at you.

If you complain about people's attire, don't be surprised when people start removing their leathers and black t-shirts so as to not offend you. Yes, most people over 30 do look better with their clothes on. That's why they were wearing clothes before you complained about their fashion sense.

I blame the casino more than anything. Formal weddings should not be booked at the same time as a biker event. Greedy casino owners were just out for the money.

The wedding party was partly to blame as well. If they had quietly asked us to hold it down for the ceremony, we would have gone elsewhere for an hour. (heck, I've gone on Patriot Guard Rider missions with these guys. I've seen them push bikes a block down the street before starting them so as to not disturb ceremonies.)

LdyJedi
09-29-2006, 11:16 AM
I've been to cons that have shared space with: cheerleaders (we're talking SCARY), the Salvation Army, Baptists and, my personal favorite: a flyfishing group. I'm waiting for the day one gets up the nerve to tell me, to my face, what I've heard them muttering softly. Though now that my daughter's as tall as I am, they no longer seem as concerned for her eternal soul :angel:

At one, I did have a mundane turn and look at us - at the time, we were dressed head to toe in Jedi and Sith garb and ask, "Do you people all travel together or something? What is this?"