View Full Version : Ah, awkward young teenagers....

09-15-2006, 09:20 PM
Granted it wasn't that long ago for me either, but still.

(Note: I work in a library.) Kid comes walking up to my desk, trips over his backpack and nearly faceplants on the carpet, then places his hand on the tape dispenser and asks if he can borrow the stapler.

When the days are sometimes boring, it helps to have people like Awkward Teenage boy (giant backpack and ruined spine not sold separately). Go young freshman, go.

:: waves tiny flag::

09-16-2006, 01:20 AM
you woulda got a laugh riot out of me. I could trip over nothing, regularly run into corners, all kinda fun stuff.

09-16-2006, 03:45 AM
then places his hand on the tape dispenser and asks if he can borrow the stapler.

"Is it really a good idea for you to play with sharp objects?"

Sadly, I have to ask this of my sister almost consistantly.:roll:

Retail's Bitch
09-16-2006, 04:04 AM
hehe... klutzes... I have people cock their heads and look at me. "What do you mean you got two concussions in one day?" or "What do you mean you fell UP the stairs and broke your finger?"

I'm special that way... I also had my box cutter taken away from me during my first week of training at the discount store. Something about my eyes glazing over and murmuring "Oooh shiny pointy thing!" when one of the managers handed it to me. It disappeared suddenly after that.

09-16-2006, 04:27 AM
Let's see here. My awkard stage came in college.

From what I can remember,

I caused a printer to print for two days straight.
Got stuck in an elevator with the door open.
Walked into a plate glass window with enough force to concuss myself.
Have a gorgeous girl threaten to rape me. (can you rape the willing? :devil: )
Get locked in the computer room for the night.
Fall asleep typing and keep typing. (Came out as gobbledy gook)
Played So much Duke Nukem that the server lagged.
Played as a girl on a text based game and flirted with my best friend as a prank.
Got thrown down the hill in the quad by the same friend.
Had to go to the hospital after sparring with the friend.
Accidentally told a professor I thought she was a hot mamma.
Fainted in class.
Burned my hand by grabbing a hot beaker.
Burned it again trying to show the professor what I did.
Cut a finger off (it was re attached) with a chisel.

And the kicker: (look in High Times Magazine, circa 1995-96 for this)

Took part in a police sanctioned experiment where five students and myself made LSD and tested it on lab rats. Furthermore, two of the students (not me) were watched by doctors and the police and actually tested the drug on humans to see it's effect.

Mr. Rager!
09-16-2006, 05:25 AM

He was probably thinking, "girl... what do I do?" Then did everything you're not supposed to do in front of a girl. He's a teenager after all.

09-16-2006, 06:00 AM
I'm still a kluzt, and a very lucky one as I should be dead or near so after the following:

Glass square lamp shade falling and crashing on my head squarely
Being hit by a vehicle so hard my bike was twisted under it (I was fortunately thrown off)
Running into a building (I had my left hand on the right handle of my bike, and vice versa)
Riding into a truck
Riding into a tree
Riding down a steep hill, hitting a ditch at the bottom just small enough the wheel stopped and I flipped
Riding into a road barrier (It was yellow, and the angle lined it up perfectly with the street across the road so I didnt see it. IT was one of those wooden ones with thin dark brown metal feet)
Licking Sulfur
Slicing my hand open multiple times over the years
Slicing the tip of my thumb off (Just a peice a quarter the size of a dime's diameter. Enough to put me in shock)
stepping on various nails/peices of glass
Walk into doors
Touch a hot Oven element.
Nearly slicing myself a few times with dull knives (Fortunately, It never broke skin, but i hated slicing onions. )
Bit by a rat snake
Bit by an Argentine red tegu
Stung by a bee (seized my entire upper body. I think I have an allergy. luckily it was a grazing stinger.)
stung by horseflies on two occasions
Bit by ants twice
Slam my head into car roofs/doors/the lower bottom of my bunk bed as a child.

I have a streak of white hair now, which I think is from slamming my head into things all the time. Its very curious and unique as I have no other white hair ANYWhere but that one spot. Its cool though.

09-16-2006, 08:07 AM
If I did hald that stuff, I'd either be dead or locked up.

09-16-2006, 08:09 AM
If I did hald that stuff, I'd either be dead or locked up.

If you mean my stuff, then yeahn. I'm surprised I'm alive/not incapacitated *knock on wood*

I imagine someday when I do die, it will be incredibly dramatic front-page news that involves a car, lacy panties, a chunk of phosphorous, a bull moose and chocolate milk.

Either that or I'll die on the can, or choke to death on a lemon tart in a very unnoble way.

09-16-2006, 08:14 AM
Yeah, can't spell late at night. I never proofread my posts.

09-17-2006, 06:49 AM
I've done the rat snake one.

We've got one here that lives under our out building. She's just about tame, and has this thing for meandering out to sun on my lawnmower when I'm trying to cut the grass. Of course it's not moving at the time.

I can't tell you how many times I've come to find her curled up in the black seat hissing contentedly at the warmth. Further, I can't tell you how many time's I've reached to pick her up, only to have the old girl get pissy and gnaw on my arm. Those sharp little teeth HURT and are a pain to get to disengage. Still, she looks so innocent after she does it (can snakes look innocent?) that I kinda feel bad about picking her off the warm seat. One of these days I'm getting a huge aquarium and a good heat rock and keeping her as a pet. Somehow, I think she'd like that.

09-18-2006, 04:19 AM
I got my foot ran over by a car. Shoe was a total write-off. Tripped over a seat in a theatre, fell, and cut my thumb -still got a scar. Tripped going through a doorway and bent my trombone on the doorframe. That hurt on an emotional level. Sprained my ankle coming out of the back of concession and hit a tiny puddle on the tiles. Took a header on a sheet of ice while delivering newspaper. Then proceeded to fall the very next step I took after I got up.

And this one I'm especially ashamed of.
I was in the car, bored. Pushed the car lighter in for 3 seconds and pulled it out. I tell ya, I still say the thing looked alright, but I'm still glad for my finger than there was a snowbank outside the car.

09-18-2006, 05:33 AM
lamest injury i ever got was a 4 inch long scar on my knee from a little button that broke on my mattress, revealing a two sided hook monstrosoty that was used to hold it on.

that sucker is now covered with duct tape, a nickel, and more duct tape

09-18-2006, 05:48 AM
Working in the kitchen of a restaurant in Denver years ago, I was trying to use a sharpening steel and cut my finger badly. Spent most of Friday night and the wee hours of Saturday AM in Denver General ER. Three of us on gurneys in one room, separated by curtains. Drunk lady in the next gurney had a stab wound; she kept calling for her equally drunk boyfriend who was slumped on the floor in the hall:

"Lloyd!" "Lloyd!" "Lloyd!" for several minutes, then he would slur "Ahhhhm heeeere Mabel". Then she would mutter to herself "Ish a nyesh bar, I don' know wha ennybody'd wanna shtab me...." Then back to "Lloyd!" "Lloyd!" "Lloyd!" from about 10:30 PM to 3:30 AM or so.

I was a lot more careful with knives from then on.

09-20-2006, 02:09 PM
you woulda got a laugh riot out of me. I could trip over nothing, regularly run into corners, all kinda fun stuff.

Same here. I trip over nothing at least once a day. I have bruises all over my hands and arms from banging myself on everything all the time.

09-20-2006, 05:27 PM
I'm 27 and I still have times where I don't have depth perception. It's now no longer fun walking into walls, doorways, other people, etc., etc., etc.

09-20-2006, 05:47 PM
Mine would have been concussing myself setting up a Christmas tree.

Me and my mother were putting the tree up not long after Thanksgiving, and we were stringing the lights. Since I'm the smallest person in my family, I would go around the back of the tree (it's in a corner in the living room) and fix them back there while my mother hung them on the front.

Now, neither of us thought anything about the fact that we have two cupboards on the wall behind the tree. Or that these cupboards have tiny sharp knobs hanging off the bottom of them. Or that they're only about four feet above the ground while I am 5'6".

I was crouched down, untangling lights, and handed them around to my mother, and since my back was hurting, I straightened to stand back up until she handed them back around to me. Now, this is all second-hand information because I don't remember a thing about it, but my mother tells me I stood up, directly into the knob, and that the thud was quite impressive. Apparently, I stood there a moment, with my head still against the knob, then I stepped out from under it, out from behind the tree, walked to a chair, sat down, and then proceeded to pass out for about thirty seconds.

If we can blame youth, my personal favorite (and thankfully one I also can't remember) would have been when I was four and liked the smell of Tide detergent powder. I was sitting in the floor, smelling the box, and decided that since the powder smelled so good, if I put my nose REALLY REALLY close to it, it would smell even better. ...unfortunately, being four, REALLY REALLY close changed to "into" and of course we all know that if you want to get a good smell of something, you have to really take a DEEEEEP breath...

To this day, I hate the smell of the laundry aisle in the store. :lol:

09-20-2006, 05:54 PM
I managed to put a *dent* in my head at camp...

I bent over to pick up something on the floor...and forgot about the protruding handle on the soda cooler. Let's just say that when I came back up, I saw stars and nearly blacked out :eek: I was a bit loopy the rest of the day :p

09-20-2006, 06:50 PM
I used to have this habit of running off the porch of my dad's house, and then jumping the two steps instead of walking down them. Unfortunately, when I was about 15, I guess I had hit a growth spurt and didn't realize. I cracked my head on a crossbeam and fell straight down on my ass. I think I was knocked out for a split second, because I remember hitting my head, and I remember finding myself on the ground, but I don't remember going down.

Needless to say, I broke that habit pretty quick. :o

Spiffy McMoron
09-20-2006, 07:20 PM
When the days are sometimes boring, it helps to have people like Awkward Teenage boy (giant backpack and ruined spine not sold separately).

Collect the entire line of Awkward Teenage Toys, including Awkward Teenage Girl, Awkward Teenage Stolen Liquor, Awkward Teenage Parents Van, and Awkward Teenage Morning After!