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View Full Version : When it rains, it pours. LONG!


Primer
01-17-2009, 03:50 PM
I had great hopes for 2009, but alas, it's not to be.

Dec 30, my 83 yo dad fell and broke his arm. After surgery to repair it, we placed him in a skilled nursing facility for a few weeks rehab, so he could get strong enough to get himself around the house. Mom is 78 herself, and does not have the strength or wherewithal to take care of him at home.

Jan 12, at Dad's recheck appt with the surgeon, x-rays showed the rods were bent, and screws displaced, and surgery would be needed again, so Dad was readmitted to the hospital. Surgery had to be delayed because Dad turned up severely anemic, and needed 3 units whole blood.

Jan 14, as Mom was leaving the hospital, she had a possible heart attack and crashed the car into a light pole, totaling the car, and landing her in the ER. All the scans and tests show nothing broken and nothing ruptured, thank goodness, but she is extremely sore, and got her knees cut up when she hit the dash (no airbags).

I make arrangements to get my truck fixed up enough that I feel safe with her driving it. The speedometer head that I've had on order since Aug 2005 is finally available! The plan is to get it inspected Sat morning, then take it to the dealership (50 miles one way) and drop it off to have the head installed on Monday, and pick it up, hopefully, Monday afternoon.

Jan 16, the doctors think Mom's abdominal pain is from the gallstones they found, rather than from the seat belt. Ther were/are to talk to her today about gall bladder surgery.

Today, Jan 17, as we get ready to take the truck in, the dachshund mix comes up painful and tender in his abdomen, so plans for anything but the inspection sticker are scrapped till Monday. Goex is at the vet right now. I dropped him off, then got the inspection sticker and an oil change. That garage is right next door to the vet clinic.

Throughout the past 3 weeks, my older brother, JA, who lives closer to the parents than I do, has been claiming that it's easier for me to go into Austin every day, than it is for him to drive "across town" from work or home. *coughbullshitcough*

Oldest brother, JO, is in Alabama, but is quite able, if not willing, to take off work and come help out. I have been keeping them informed of all information I gather.

In Dec, JO wanted to fly in, but I said that was not necessary just yet. Jan 15, I informed him that NOW would be a good time to fly in. Dad has been deteriorating rapidly, and I really do not expect him to survive/recover from the 2nd surgery. He's acting like he does not *want* to live.

Now, JO is waffleing about flying in, claiming there is nothing he would be able to do here. He could damn well help ME out! I know Mom and Dad would both like to see him.

I am the youngest, but it seems that I have always been the responsible one. Ya know what? I can NOT do it all! I don't care what everyone else thinks/expects. I CAN'T DO IT ALL!

Thanks for letting me vent.

The vet office just called, they want to run some tests on Goex. The tech said it could be something in the stomach, intestine, or liver, but they don't know just yet. They know, and I just re-affirmed, that they have permission to do whatever they think they need to do. Mastercard loves me.

Keep your fingers crossed for everybody, and as my sig says:

persephone
01-17-2009, 04:08 PM
I'm sorry sweetie. I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry and we're here if you need to vent or if there's anything we can help you with. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I wish I could help you more! :(

*hugs*

BookstoreEscapee
01-17-2009, 04:12 PM
Sending hugs. I hope your brothers get their heads on straight and start helping out...

Evil Queen
01-17-2009, 05:29 PM
Cute. Your sig line is something I used to say a lot as a teenager.

JO better show up because if he doesn't, he may wind up regreting it for the rest of his life.

Shards
01-17-2009, 05:45 PM
I hope everything works out in the end for you. Don't be too rough on your brothers, though. They may have their reasons that they aren't telling you about, I know a lot of people who would never breathe a word about their problems to their families, it's just the way some people are. Also, they may be underestimating what's going wrong with your parents, or they may feel you have a history of making mountains out of molehills (I don't know you, or them, I'm just saying these are trains of logic I've seen used by family and friends).

I hope the lot of you have a chance to spend some time together before your dad goes, be that now or years from now. Trust me when I say that you're lucky to at least be able to be there for him now.

Primer
01-17-2009, 06:40 PM
Thanks everybody.

I'm still waiting on word about the dog.

JI called about an hour ago, and seems to be a little bit more amenable to helping out a bit. Dad's surgery has been postponed till Tuesday, and nothing is known yet about Mom's. JI and I both think that if it has to be done, that this would be the best time for it. Doing it now would also save her an additional $1000 copay to Medicare.

Shards, I understand where you're coming from, but I can guarantee you that I don't even make molehills out of mountains. I have been told by co-workers that (I am) "the most laid-back person (they) have ever met."

Mom just called, she is refusing the surgery at this time, and she says the doctors will let her go home whenever she is ready. I just hope that she decides to recuperate for another day, but knowing her, I doubt she will. Hopefully, she will get to feeling better, and the gall stones will settle down for a while.

Primer
01-17-2009, 08:05 PM
3pm

I just got a call from the vet. He thinks it's superficial, i.e. just sore muscles. I can pick up Goex about 3:30, and he will be coming home with a prescription for Tramedol for pain, and R&R for a few days. Nothing in the x-rays or bloodwork indicates any kind of blockage, liver or pancreas problems, or any broken or cracked bones anywhere.

One down, two to go...

RootedPhoenix
01-17-2009, 10:21 PM
:( I haven't got any words of wisdom, but I've got good thoughts. :)

Sliceanddice
01-18-2009, 07:06 AM
i know you dont want to pressure your brother so heres what i suggest.
Tell him that you really honestly and truely belive that is he isnt there before the surgery he will regret it, because you feel that your fathers condition is critical and that it might be his last chance to see his father. Then tell him you understand if he doesnt feel its necessary, and you arent going to force him, but you simple believe he should be there.
Then end the call.
He will make his decision form there and will hopefully make the right one.
As for your mother...
I hope shes ok.

prb
01-18-2009, 02:59 PM
I just got a call from the vet. He thinks it's superficial, i.e. just sore muscles. I can pick up Goex about 3:30, and he will be coming home with a prescription for Tramedol for pain, and R&R for a few days. Nothing in the x-rays or bloodwork indicates any kind of blockage, liver or pancreas problems, or any broken or cracked bones anywhere.Thats what they said about one of my dogs. Then they did a urine test and there were crystals in the urine. He now eats Royal Canin Urinary SO, 1/2 can daily with some of the Urinary SO kibble mixed in.

Ree
01-18-2009, 03:05 PM
I am so sorry you are going through this.

It does seem sometimes that, when it rains it pours, and it's raining down crap on us, doesn't it?

My thoughts are with your family.
Broken bones can be very hard on elderly people, especially when combined with 2 surgeries.
Your poor Mom must have felt so stressed with worry. No wonder she had health issues that caused her to crash. Poor thing.

Take care of yourself. We are here for you if you need to get things off your chest. :hug:

Primer
01-18-2009, 05:10 PM
Thats what they said about one of my dogs. Then they did a urine test and there were crystals in the urine. He now eats Royal Canin Urinary SO, 1/2 can daily with some of the Urinary SO kibble mixed in.
Good point. I re-checked the receipt, and while they did extensive blood and fecal workups, I don't see a urine work up on there. When I go in tomorrow to pay the bill, I'll take in a clean catch sample and ask them to check for crystals. I highly doubt it's crystals, as he pees quite freely. He's a submissive pee-er, and he pees when he's in pain, also. I would think if it hurt to pee, he'd try to hold it. Also, the vet seemed to think most of the pain was up towards the ribs, rather than back towards the bladder, but it is worth looking into.

Slice, I've made my point with JO. I'm not going to press the issue. They (both brothers) know me well enough to know that I don't say something unless I mean it. From here, it's up to him. I will do what I can, but with school starting up, that won't be a whole heck of a lot.

I have to take care of my animals, and as of this afternoon, I will have 3 disabled adults at my house, also: DH, his sister who lives with us, and my step-daughter who just had knee-replacement surgery.

It's time for JI and JO to step up and pick up some of the slack.

Primer
02-25-2009, 08:41 PM
Updates.

Mom and Dad both came home on Monday Feb 16. Mom is getting better. Dad seemed to be getting a bit better, but took a turn for the worse over the weekend. He is now under hospice care, and is in what they call the "actively dying" stage. All we can do is try to keep him comfortable, and wait for him to go.

JO finally did fly in last night...after spending 2 weeks in Taiwan on vacation. He felt it important to tell me that he had wanted to attend a seminar on "the use of hypnosis in the proper training of slaves" and that the next one he wants to go to is a $100,000 course for obtaining a commercial jet airline pilot's license. And he KNOWS he doesn't stand a showball's chance in hell for even passing the entrance physical. Heck, the Army didn't want him 35 years ago when he was a LOT healthier! He says he doesn't want a license; he just wants to take the course. I told him I had better things I could do with that kind of money--like help Mom pay some of her bills. But he's dead serious about taking the course.

I had to walk out before I tore him a new one--about the course and about the seminar. He also tried to shove a bunch of "stuff" at me about how if you go around acting like you're in charge, people will treat you like you're in charge. More of that master-slave mindset. I almost told him, "Fine, you want to be in charge? You're in charge. I quit."

JI has been stepping up a little bit more, but I think it's his GF making him.

Guys, don't ever try to start a pissing match with your kid sister. You will NOT win. You trained us well. At least I have the sense these days to walk away when I can.

As for the dog, he's doing ok. He's not better, but he's not worse. I think he has been getting sore tummy muscles from roughousing with his "big sister" too much. He seems to be just fine while he's playing, and the vet cannot find anything wrong via x-rays or labwork.

wagegoth
02-25-2009, 09:45 PM
I had to walk out before I tore him a new one--about the course and about the seminar. He also tried to shove a bunch of "stuff" at me about how if you go around acting like you're in charge, people will treat you like you're in charge. More of that master-slave mindset. I almost told him, "Fine, you want to be in charge? You're in charge. I quit."

Next time, do it. Don't walk away. Tell him exactly what you're thinking and what you think of him. Then walk away and leave him in charge.

Primer
03-01-2009, 01:11 PM
Dad passed away this morning at 7:10.

JI has really stepped up to help out.

Ree
03-01-2009, 01:26 PM
Oh, Primer. Again, I am so sorry. :hug:

BookstoreEscapee
03-01-2009, 02:51 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug:

sportsmom
03-01-2009, 03:10 PM
I'm soo sorry. I know words don't mean a whole lot at a time like this, but just know we're thinking about you.

Reyneth
03-01-2009, 03:41 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. :(

Bella_Vixen
03-03-2009, 05:44 AM
*many hugs*

RootedPhoenix
03-03-2009, 11:09 AM
*hugs* :( I'll be thinking of you and your family.

morgana
03-03-2009, 06:10 PM
Oh, dear, I'm so sorry! Glad you're at least getting *some* help. Poor dear. :(

tropicsgoddess
03-05-2009, 05:52 PM
Primer, I'm so sorry! :hug: :cry: