View Full Version : There is something strange in the water......

01-24-2009, 01:50 PM
Or something. That is one of the only explanations I can fathom as to what the HELL is going on suddenly in my life.

As many of you know (since I bitched about it enough), my dating life in 2008 was about as exciting and fulfilling as a tv screen filled with static. In other words, a fucking joke. So I made that New Year's Resolution about having a more carefree, less stressed out attitude towards women in 2009.

It seems to be working. Beyond anything I ever could have expected.

Some background. As a single guy, there are often women I am somewhat interested in that I consider "prospects." More often than not, these are simply women that I fancy but nothing ever comes of it.

Lately, there have been three, whom I have taken to referring to as the blonde, the brunette, and the redhead. I have mentioned the blonde before (Flirt), as well as commenting on the redhead (The Cute Little Redheaded Girl). The brunette I shall call Bouncy.

So. Where to start? Well, The Cute Little Redheaded Girl (TCLRG) is an amusing one, a beer-drinking football fan. You know....my kind of chick! Well, we had a little smoochie action going on the other night after the football games, but nothing over the top. Then two nights ago she invited me out to a burlesque show at a local gay bar. It was a BLAST. (And no, I have no problem going to gay bars, as long as they have cold beer.) I kind of figured she was interested in me, for various reasons (including but not limited to the smooching on Sunday), but I am a paranoid idiot, so I had my doubts. Well, she erased many of those doubts Thursday night, as more smooching ensued.....and was very....eye-opening.

Normally in my life, this is where the story would end, with me being rather smiley about the whole thing....which I was. But remember that new attitude I have? Yeah, I am just going with the flow here. So, since I am still single, I had no problem continuing the flirtations with Flirt and Bouncy. Bouncy always seems thrilled to see me in her bar, but I have not managed to get her number or take it beyond that.

Flirt I have been flirting with both in person and via text for several weeks now. Well, last night, she showed up at my bar as I was getting off, and she and I and a friend of hers hit a couple bars, and then he had to go to work.....as a boy go-go dancer at a local gay bar. Flirt suggested we go there. I have no problem with such things, so off we went. (What is it with me and gay bars? I can't figure this out.) And there were boys dancing in very little, right in our faces. This didn't phase me in the slightest, and I continued drinking my beer, politely ignoring said boys. Flirt was rather shocked, as despite her bad-ass act, she really has been a bit sheltered. And then, at one point, out of absolutely nowhere, she reached out, grabbed my head, and decided she needed to taste my tonsils.

Cue my utter shock and disbelief. Especially since I had, mentally, written this girl off. More varieties of smooching ensued, much to my disbelief and great amusement, and once again, I rolled with it. Hey, why not? The beer gods know that I was overly due for such wonderful attention, right? I ended up driving Flirt home, as she was trashed, I was not, and she had to work in the morning. Even if she had been a totally evil wench, I would have driven her home....despite her insistence, she was in no shape to drive even a tricycle! That's just the way I roll. And I got a text from her this morning thanking me for being responsible.

So, two nights, two lovely young ladies are all about The Jester. I was bemused, and frankly quite baffled, but after dropping Flirt off, met up with my friend Photo Dude at one of our local watering holes, where he was with his current female fling (which seems to be slightly more serious than most, as she has lasted more than a couple days). I related my good fortune to them, and some others, and we all rejoiced in the bright and wonderful dawning of a new year, with promise and hope for me.

And then shit got downright weird.

I was talking to an acquaintance, KB, and two women walked into the bar. I turned to KB, full of confidence and bravado, and said "you can have the brunette." The brunette was not exactly Kate Beckinsale, to say the least, but much to my surprise, KB said "Why not? I'll take one for the team. And hell, I'd love to ride your coattails!"

Um, what? Ride my coattails? When did I become Mr. Romeo? :wtf:

The funny thing is, I was pretty much joking. The part where it turns bizarre is that the other girl, a redhead (what the HELL is it with me and redheads??!?!?!), hit it off famously. We'll call her.....Ginger. We exchanged numbers, and I probably could have had yet another smooching session, but was sticking to my guns of taking it casual and easygoing, so didn't press anything. Actually, it could have ended quite differently than it did. At one point, she said it looked to her that her friend and KB were hitting it off rather well, and Ginger assumed they were going to go off and enjoy each other's company, so Ginger went over to say goodbye. Much to both our surprise, the brunette decided it was time to go, without getting any KB love monkey action. Had the two of them hooked up, things might have gotten interesting between Ginger and myself. She did make me promise to come see her at her bar, which if I'm not dead after my 12 hour shift today, I just might do. But anyways, Ginger and her friend left, and KB was standing there, in awe of me, pretty much convinced that yet another lovely young thing was charmed to death by me. And frankly, I think he might have been right.

Which brings me back to my whole initial premise. To wit....what the flying holy monkey batshit is going on here? Seriously? Don't get me wrong, I am NOT complaining, and half expect Bouncy to come bounding into my arms sometimes this weekend, but the phrase "when it rains it pours" has almost never been so well illustrated in my life! Well, at least not recently. Amusing footnote: all four of them (TCLRG, Flirt, Ginger, and Bouncy), despite looking otherwise, are all 30+. This goes against my usual trend of going after the twentysomethings. This was not a conscious choice (none of this was, other than the attitude adjustment), it just happened.

I am not trying to gloat here (no, really, I'm not), I am just left scratching my head and wondering where this all came from all of a sudden. I am, naturally, enjoying the hell out of it (duh!), but am left scratching my head in wonder and disbelief. A few of my friends did sum it up quite nicely, though, by pointing out that a little confidence really can go a long way.

Which means I am now one dangerous bad-ass motherfucker. Happy New Year, kids! :wave:

01-24-2009, 01:58 PM
Obvious answer is obvious.

Women have a confidence radar. Your attitude's changed and become more confident (read: you've finally made the decisive step to stop thinking that you desperately need to be in a commitment with a woman or your life is over - women have a radar for that as well, and I've had that attitude in the past as well, so this isn't a reproach, just an observation), so more women are coming after you. Just bask in the glow of it and enjoy it.

BTW, congrats Jester!

01-24-2009, 02:01 PM
I know this, but knowing it and pulling it off are two totally different things.

It also helps that this week has been freakin' awesome at work! Majorly busy, majorly lucrative. And as I've said before, I fucking love my job!

01-24-2009, 02:06 PM
Jester's becoming a PIMP! You go man!

01-24-2009, 02:13 PM
Hard to argue with you, Sand.

Let's face it. After a year in exile, I'M BACK! With a VENGEANCE! :wave:

And not a clue how or why! :lol:

01-24-2009, 02:17 PM
It also helps that this week has been freakin' awesome at work! Majorly busy, majorly lucrative. And as I've said before, I fucking love my job!

Isn't there some kind of big boat race or something in Key West this week? Being that we're moving that way (not Key West, about half way down the keys or so, but hey -- closer than we are now), I've been kind of keeping an eye on it, seeing what's going on and reading your paper down there online. There were some kind of boat race articles.

What kind, I have no idea. But they were big and looked expensive, so I assumed your little town might be a bit overrun with people that have money to spare.

So glad the week's good at work and good for you about the girls! What everyone else said is right -- confidence is an amazing thing.

01-24-2009, 02:19 PM
There is the annual yacht races in town right now. It has boosted business, but I don't think that that is the only thing that has done it.

As for people with money....no. That is the powerboat racers in November. The joke about the "snotty yachties" as we call them locally is that they each come down with one pair of underwear and one twenty dollar bill....and don't change either one. The boat OWNERS have money, but the crews? Only a few sheckels above being homeless, really.

And where in the Keys are you moving? And when are we getting together for some cold frosty libations, hmmm?

01-24-2009, 02:28 PM
And where in the Keys are you moving? And when are we getting together for some cold frosty libations, hmmm?

1) You're talking to someone with two kids, one on the way and NO babysitter, so that means "going out" happens very little.

2) You're talking to someone who does not like alcohol, drunk people or crowds and therefore avoids bars (and, most likely, all of proper "Key West") like the plague.

3) We'll still be at least an hour or two up the keys from you, as we are going to be well above the seven mile bridge (outside of Islamorada) and, if I remember right (I've only been to Key West once and that was years ago), it's still quite a drive from there to Key West proper.


But if Hubby and I do decide to head down for a night after the baby's born or something, I'll be sure to let you know we're coming down.

01-24-2009, 02:31 PM
Islamorada is lovely. My mom's cousin lives there. It is about a two hour drive from there to here. If/when you decide to venture out in that town, check out Lorelei. Yes, it's a bar, but during the day, very casual, not overly "bar-ry," and they are outside, so it's very nice....and they have GREAT food. Their bacon-wrapped shrimp is the best I've ever had!

Also, cold frosty beverages do not have to be alcoholic, nor served in bars. But after the move, the next time you are going to be here, or I there, we should think about meeting up.

You bring your spawn, I'll bring my harem! :lol:

01-24-2009, 04:07 PM
So, there's a drought and then you drown?


Evil Queen
01-24-2009, 04:14 PM
How does the saying go? Don't count your chickens until they hatch? Enjoy the fun while you can Jester, because I have a feeling it won't last.

The Cute Little Redheaded Girl

Thank you Charlie Brown. :lol:

01-25-2009, 01:36 PM
So, there's a drought and then you drown?

So it would seem.

How does the saying go? Don't count your chickens until they hatch? Enjoy the fun while you can Jester, because I have a feeling it won't last.

After last year, I KNOW that things like this should not be taken for granted. And one of my coworkers said "strike while the iron is hot." Because, as I know, such things may not last.

But thanks for your utter confidence in my ability to continue such insanity. I stick my tongue out in your general Texan direction.

Thank you Charlie Brown. :lol:

Well of COURSE that's where I got it from. Amusingly, I ran into a coworker of hers that I know the other night, who was wearing a Peanuts shirt. Cracked me and my friend Little Red right up.

Evil Queen
01-25-2009, 09:32 PM
I'm not Texan. I'm from North Carolina. I just live in Hell Houston temporarily.

Oh Jester, I do believe you'll do fine with these girls. Just don't let there be too many to smooch on because the worst thing in the world is a pissed of Red Head! :lol:

01-25-2009, 10:07 PM
I'm not Texan. I'm from North Carolina. I just live in Hell Houston temporarily.

Yes, but since you live IN Texas, it would be in your Texan direction. If I did it in the North Carolinian direction, I would be facing the wrong way.

Just don't let there be too many to smooch on because the worst thing in the world is a pissed of Red Head!

I know this. You forget, the last four girls I've been involved with were redheads. The Cute Little Redheaded Girl would be #5, and Ginger #6. No, I don't get it either, though my friends are having a hilarious ole time with it.

And none of them would have reason to be pissed off, unless I was proclaiming exclusivity with one of them, which so far has not happened. After all, I don't cheat on a girlfriend (EVER), but none of these women are my girlfriend yet. As a free agent, I can do whatever I want. And I am not lying to anyone about it. Just because I am (intelligently) not advertising it doesn't make me a liar. If any of them ask, I will be very straight with them about it. And on this small island, it is bound to get back to one of them.

But I don't expect that I am necessarily the only guy they are interested in/snogging, either. And if I found out that they were out and about with another dude, well, that's their right, which I do not begrudge them. I might not be thrilled about it, but I have no right to object to it.

And let's face facts. This is, for all intents and purposes, about the only time in my life, and definitely the only time in recent years, where I have had a possibility of "too many women." As I say about beer, there can never be too many. And kids.....I deserve it! :cool:

Evil Queen
01-25-2009, 10:59 PM
Enjoy your fun Jester. You do deserve it. :)

01-25-2009, 11:07 PM
Damn straight I do!

Sooooo.............who's in charge of the betting pool as to when all of this will actually blow up in my face? :lol:

Evil Queen
01-26-2009, 12:28 AM
Not me. I did the last one.

01-26-2009, 02:51 AM
Actually, before the pool has even started, it might all be coming apart. Or perhaps that is just my innate paranoia.

Ginger has not returned either of my texts that I sent her since I drunkenly left her club last night.

Flirt, who was very friendly with me at her bar this evening, was telling part of the story of what happened to a guy we were sitting with after she got off, and kind of claimed that the reason she made out with me was because her friend, the gay go-go dancer, was dancing on the bar in front of her with his crotch in her face. And I am not quite clear on whether we did make out more after that or not, though I clearly remember us holding hands and doing some minor smooching after that. Maybe she was just playing it off with one of her friends or regulars, maybe I am just paranoid, or maybe that was all it was to her....to reaffirm her....sexuality? I don't get that part, since it was a GUY dancing for her. Her lack of interest in her friend, who has claimed to be gay but also claims to be interested in Flirt? Who knows.

In other amusing news, while at her bar this evening, she and I started joking around when I first sat down. It went something like this:

FLIRT: "What are you doing here?" (surprised, not obnoxious)
JESTER: "I thought I'd have a beer, actually."
FLIRT: "Good luck with that. I hear the bartender is terrible." (meaning her, of course)
JESTER: "I've heard that as well."
FLIRT: "Yeah, she has a real attitude."
JESTER: "I heard she's a fucking bitch."

She's amused. I'm amused. The old homeless drunk next to me was, apparently, NOT amused.

TOWN DRUNK: "Don't you call her that."
JESTER: "Excuse me?"
TOWN DRUNK: "Don't you dare call her that name!"
JESTER: "Sir, we were only joking around. Flirt is a friend of mine."
TOWN DRUNK: "I don't give a shit. Don't you dare use that word on that lady."
JESTER: "Look, dude, she's a FRIEND of mine. We were joking around. Period. It's all in good clean fun."
TOWN DRUNK: "That is NOT a word you should use on a lady. *I* would never use that word."
JESTER: (done with this shit) "Then YOU don't use it. But don't YOU tell ME how to talk to MY friends."
TOWN DRUNK: "I don't care. You don't dare talk to her like that!"
JESTER: "I've already told you, we're friends, it was all in fun. I don't give a shit what YOU think, and don't presume to tell me what to do."
TOWN DRUNK: "Fuck you."
JESTER: (patented Jester stare of death)

At this point, the woman to my left left the bar, and I moved a seat over to get away from the soused codger. I felt it was better to let it die than to escalate it further.

Later, of course, when Flirt told him what for, AND told him how I had, in her words, saved her very life a few nights ago by not letting her drive home, he not only apologized, but shook my hand and thanked me for looking out for her....but still kept trying to explain why he reacted the way he did, when he was hearing it out of context (even though I had clearly explained it to him). I get that part, about protecting your friends, but that dude is an old drunk fucker. A homeless man who takes advantage of Flirt's good nature by getting her to buy him both food and beer every day she works, and bumming rides to his "home" (wherever that is) every night. AND grossing her out by talking about him, her, and sex in the same sentence (though she is quick to tell him that THAT is not acceptable).

Fuck you old man. You are lucky I didn't kill you or shove my first empty beer bottle down your sodden piehole. You talk about "looking out" for Flirt, and you take more advantage of her than anyone, you drunken fucktard!

But of course the upshot is she was freely talking to another guy about how we were making out and making her questionably gay friend completely jealous. Dude actually called her to tell her that he saw me last night downtown, and I was drunk. Well.....duh? Like she doesn't know I drink? Hello?

Hitting it off with hot women is a great way to make enemies, I am finding out. :lol:

01-27-2009, 05:04 AM
An update, of sorts. Nothing really new with any of the girls. Just with me.

Tonight, after work, I was talking to my mom on the phone, giving her the lowdown on what has been going on (edited for Mom ears, of course). Mom surprised me somewhat by saying as long as I was being careful (and she meant emotionally as well) and not being a deceptive shit, she so no problem with it, though of course a lot of it was confusing for her....but then she is used to my life being confusing.

Shortly thereafter, I ran into an old friend/ex-girlfriend, Diver, who I have not seen much of lately. We decided to catch up over drinks at a local pub we like. She is doing much better in her life than when I dated her, as she has been Not Drinking for some time now, and that is working very well for her, in many ways. (She drank a soda at the pub.) She told me about the latest in her life, and I told her about the latest in mine....and she pretty much said the same thing Mom did, which was kind of very freakin' cool. Here we have two women with vastly different perspectives, both of whom know me pretty well, agreeing that I not only deserve this, but there is nothing wrong with how I am going about it.

The validation was very nice. It helped ease whatever guilt I might have about having a good time, and it seemed to say that someone or something truly wanted to see me enjoy myself. It eased much of my unease about this whole thing.

01-27-2009, 06:50 PM
(what the HELL is it with me and redheads??!?!?!)

*checks hair*

Well, if I weren't saving my virginity for Matt Hardy...

01-28-2009, 11:03 AM

Well, it seems that I have managed to somehow eliminate Redhead #2 (Ginger), or rather eliminate myself from her consideration, since she has never returned my texts after I showed up rather inebriated at her bar Saturday night.

The good news, though, is that I finally got Bouncy's number tonight while hanging out at her bar, so I can now conceivably flirt with three different women via text while I am allegedly working at The Bar.

I am sure the Boss Man would be thrilled to know this!

01-28-2009, 10:19 PM
I am sure the Boss Man would be thrilled to know this!

Actually, from what you've said about your boss (full of awesome), he probably would! :)

And text-flirting is one of my favorite things to do.

Until, of course, any of the poor saps take me seriously and try to make it something it's not. Then I run-for-the-hills.

*sigh* I'm getting too old for this shit.

Anyway, good riddance to Ginger (she's clearly not worthy :)) and keep us posted on the rest of your little harem! :highfive:

01-28-2009, 11:20 PM
Actually, from what you've said about your boss (full of awesome), he probably would!

Well, yes and no. My Boss is a very cool guy, and would be thrilled to know that I am having so much damn fun, but the idea of my flirting via text when I am behind the bar and should be working, and could be cleaning? No, he would not be in favor of that. Hell, today when I walked in, he was scrubbing things behind the bar, and basically gave me the job of wiping the shelves under EVERY bottle, and then scrubbing down EVERY piece of glassware thoroughly. Yes, it was a fun day.

Anyway, good riddance to Ginger (she's clearly not worthy :)) and keep us posted on the rest of your little harem!

Eh, it's okay. She's a lovely girl, but for whatever reason she didn't get back to me. Maybe she lost interest, maybe there's something else going on, I don't know. I haven't necessarily given up on her, but let's face it....for a guy who's never had to juggle even two girls at once, my attempt at three is very amusing, confusing, and impressive. To try to make it four borders on greedy.

Of course, that doesn't mean I WON'T try to make it four...... :lol:

02-11-2009, 02:50 AM
Good lord. It is vaguely possible I may have a date with the brunette (Bouncy, for those following along at home) on Thursday night.

What the Sam Houston is going on around here?!?!?!?!

02-11-2009, 03:35 AM
Seems to me the good kind Jester is having a Grand Time! ! !

02-11-2009, 04:38 AM
Rock on, Jest!!!

02-11-2009, 11:00 AM
It is only a possibility. Without going into details, it may or may not actually happen, and she may or may not actually even think of it as a date. I am kind of in the dark about that second part.

Who am I kidding? I am making all of this shit up as I go along. I am very GOOD at making it up, but I am, in fact, improvising every step of the way. :lol:

02-11-2009, 11:13 AM
It is only a possibility.

Bwah? Jester is posting at 7 AM? He must still be awake from last night.

Seriously though, good luck with it all. Must be nice getting actual attention from the ladies instead of in e-form.

02-11-2009, 11:22 AM
Jester is posting at 7 AM? He must still be awake from last night.

You are INCORRECT, sir.

While I have been trying to wake up earlier to go bicycling before work (actually about to get going to do just that), I woke up at 4:30 am, quite unintentionally. For some reason I got home last night at dozed off by about 11, rather early even for me. I don't know why. But then, after my body got its needed 5 hours of sleep or so, I popped awake. And here I am.

Must be nice getting actual attention from the ladies instead of in e-form.

Hell yes! :cool:

02-11-2009, 11:23 AM
Who cares what it's called. Just go out and have a grand time.

02-11-2009, 01:03 PM
Oh, I'm not concerned about what it's called.

I'm not even concerned about what it IS. My vow this year was to have a good time no matter what happens, and that is just what I am going to do, whether it be a date, a snogfest, or just a couple of friends goofing around.

That does not, however, mean that I can't HOPE. :eyewaggle:

02-12-2009, 03:50 AM
I knew the Fates were laying in wait to ambush me.

So it seems like tomorrow night will not be a date. Or anything at all. While Bouncy still seems interested in going, a friend/coworker of hers had an accident and is laid up, and Bouncy is going to use the next two days, which she has off, to help said injured party out.

Now, even if you are an asshole, how in the flying flaming fetid feral flippin' FUCK do you argue against THAT?


You can't. :lol:

So I suggested that we still go to the Event we were going to go to, wheeling her Injured Friend in a wheelchair into it with us. This did get a laugh. (I am a funny dude, what can I say?)

Okay, so that's not going to happen, but she said if anything changes, she'll call me. We'll see. But even if I have no Event to invite her to, I AM going to go out with her at some point, damn it!

Meanwhile, I am still trying to schedule a night out with The Cute Little Redhead Girl (Friday, perhaps) and Flirt (I'm thinking Sunday.)

"But Jester, what about Saturday? It's Valentine's Day!"

Anyone who's been paying attention knows my feelings about that false and fabricated "holiday." But my opinion is moot, as I'll be working at both the Waterfront Bar during the day and at The Bar at night, so really won't have any time for anyone other than my customers.

"Why Jester, that is utterly diabolical and devious!"

Why yes....so it is. So it is indeed. http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/4024/570737-mr__20burns_small.jpg

02-17-2009, 11:54 AM
So, got your end away yet?


02-17-2009, 12:08 PM
So, got your end away yet?

Translation from British to American please?

02-17-2009, 12:11 PM
I figured that one would be obvious. Had sex with any yet? Been about five days since you last posted in this thread (barring your request for translation).


02-17-2009, 12:18 PM
There has been no posting because there has been nothing to report. Not only have I not, as you so eloquently put it, got my end away yet, I have not even seen any of them in several days--though the flirting via text and game of phone tag in an attempt to make plans continue.

03-17-2009, 06:22 AM
For those of you that actually are interested in my social life, two things.

First of all, get a life. Seriously. Even Barney Miller re-runs in black and white have got to be more interesting than THIS shit.

But secondly, if you don't have a life, don't want a life, or for some bizarre reason really are interested in what some dude you have never met is doing on some remote tropical island you've never been to nowhere near you, here, my friends, is an update on The Harem, such as it is:

The Cute Little Red Headed Girl: Has not called or texted me in a while, nor has she returned my voicemails. For whatever reason, she has appears to have written me off. Ah, well, c'est la vie.

Bouncy: I still have at thing for her. I still drink at her bar periodically. I am without question one of her favorite customers. But beyond that, I would say that nothing seems to be progressing, at least not in the sense of romantically or sexually.

Flirt: We continue to flirt via text. Occasionally in person, but between my being sick and her being sick, most of it was text. Both of us were almost put out of commission by a BAD bug that's been going around the island. Naturally she blamed me for her getting it, but unless germs are now textable, that would be impossible, as I did not go see her while I was sick. But there is still some possibility there.

Ginger: "Wait, what? Jester, didn't Ginger blew you off, and haven't you not heard from her in forever?" Not entirely true. See, a little while back, I wandered into the Waterfront Bar, and who should be working there but Ginger! Looking even cuter than I remembered her to be. And she definitely seemed to still be interested in me. And we resumed our flirting immediately. And not only did friends of mine tell me she was obviously interested in me, complete and total strangers said the same thing. However, for some reason I can't fathom, nothing seems to have developed, and every time I attempt to make plans with the girl, she flakes out. We have gone drinking a couple times, but the one time when it seemed anything might happen, when I went to kiss her, she did the Pull Back (men will recognize this dreaded maneuver), and I was bummed...until her texts the next day seemed to indicate that she had no memory beyond a certain point in the evening.

So Ginger and I have basically been dancing the Yo Yo Dance, where things are going back and forth. I was getting bummed for a bit, until that OTHER part of my brain smacked me upside the head and reminded me of my New Year's Resolution, that I was just going to flirt, have fun, and whatever happened, happened, and whatever didn't happen, didn't, and either way I wouldn't get all bent out of shape about it. It is not always easy to stick to this, but it's not that tough either, sometimes. Most times.

Mermaid: "Wait, WHAT? Who the fuck is Mermaid? You've never mentioned her before!" Well, I DID say this was an update, didn't I? :lol:

So I am bartending on the roof deck of The Bar tonight, my usual Monday night shift, and a regular, PF, comes in with a lovely young lady. I am cracking jokes with the bar patrons, slinging drinks for them and the servers, and generally tearing it up. But PF has brought Mermaid up there to see card tricks. And for those two and the four Canadians on that side of the bar, I eventually (as in when I get the damn time between slinging drinks!) oblige.

And blow them all out of the water. (Naturally.) Including Mermaid. Who, I must admit, I am flirting with mercilessly. Even when I initially thought she was WITH PF. (I can flirt with women in a way that seems harmless, especially while bartending or doing magic, so that their boyfriends/husbands/sex slaves don't feel the need to kick the living shit out of me.) But after a while, PF subtly indicates that they are not a couple. His subtle method of doing this is by announcing for all to hear, "Jester, we aren't actually together. This is my friend, Mermaid." Yeah, PF is about as subtle as I am.

Long story short, Mermaid seemed intrigued by me (and who could blame her, short of any competent psychologist, psychiatrist, or person with working vision?), and allegedly PF and Mermaid are coming in again this week (perhaps tomorrow) to see me at The Bar. Of course, since they may not get out of work (working together at a day job) until I am done, I felt it my obligation to make sure that PF had my number. And oh yeah, Mermaid too. (PF thought that was rather "savvy" on my part.) And of course I now have both of theirs.

We shall see if it was Jester the Magician she was intrigued by or simply Jester himself.

And thus the Harem grows, even as it shrinks. And proves the merit of my original Resolution. :D

03-30-2009, 07:04 PM
Seriously, I have no idea what's going on in Valhalla, but Loki is totally trying to mess with my head with all the unbelievably strange shit that's been happening lately.

A while back I met Gemini Girl, who immediately became my new drinking buddy. She is hilariously funny, very witty, and occasionally violent. All traits I respect. And she was absolutely not interested in me romantically, which is fine, as she became my new Wingman, since most of my friends suck in this capacity. Unlike my buddy Little Red, she immediately thought Bouncy was cuter than hell. (Sadly, nothing is going on with me and Bouncy, but that is another story.)

Anyway, let's backtrack a bit.....last Tuesday, after I got off work and had a few beers at The Bar, I went to Bouncy's bar as I do every Tuesday to see her, flirt with her, and have a couple of beers, then go home. That was the plan. Plans in my life, however, have a habit of taking a flying leap out the window.

On my way into said bar, I noticed a young girl who looked about 16 or so heading into the same bar. "Oh no she is NOT going to try to get in there!" I thought to myself. But lo and behold, not only did she try, she whipped out her ID and presented it to the bouncer immediately. Apparently she really was of age! Go figger.

So I settled into the bar, got my usual beer, and was minding my own business when the guys playing beer pong (a normal event at this bar) announced that they needed one more member. Well, far be it from me to turn down a competitive athletic endeavor like that! So I and one large dude teamed up to take on another dude and, of all people, the Pretty Young Thang. As luck would have it, PYT happened to be the best of the four of us at beer pong. Meaning my team lost three straight games. Much drinking ensued.

Next thing I know, the group of us are barhopping, drinking more, and suddenly we are dancing at Major Tourist Bar and I am doing magic tricks for PYT and getting her phone number. Yes, thank you, I know....I do, in fact, rock. Naturally, this being my life, nothing more than dancing happened with PYT, but whatever. No pressure, right? That's my new attitude, and it seems to be working for me.

Of course, this being my life, things had to take a sharp right turn into Bizarr-O World.

So two nights ago, I am hanging out drinking after working my Saturday day shift, which is my Friday, as I don't work again until Monday night....so I am tearing it up. Gemini came along to tear it up with me, and then we went to another bar to meet up with PYT and her friend (though I didn't know the friend would be coming along). So Gemini is there to be my Wingman.

And yet Gemini is the one who was in my bed the next morning. :headscratch:

The truly bizarre part is I was sitting there at a bar, with Gemini on one side and PYT on the other, and somehow PYT got into a conversation with people to her other side, and Gemini and I started kissing. Which was.....weird. NICE...but weird. About the last girl I expected to kiss me, to be honest.

Now, despite some of my friends thinking I am doing something wrong because I still haven't gotten laid (I'm looking at YOU, Saydrah!), I am having a hell of a fun time and enjoying my life immensely. I am still flirting with PYT, who may or may not have seen me macking on Gemini, and ya know what? It's all good. I have not lied to any of these women, I have no plans of doing so, and until one of them steps up and looks for something more, I plan on having fun.

Update on the others: Bouncy continues to be my favorite bartender, but nothing else is going on there. Ginger is apparently seeing some other guy, which sucks, but whatever. TCLRG has not called or texted me in some time. I have not really seen Mermaid at all in the last week. And I continue to flirt with Flirt.

I really think I am going to need a scorecard at some point.

03-30-2009, 07:15 PM
I'm looking at YOU, Saydrah!

I know you are, so get those eyeballs outta my cleavage (or do sumpin' bout it!)

03-30-2009, 07:22 PM
Darlin', if anyone's cleavage was made to be eyeballed, it's yours. Now deal with it, you sexy ho you.

04-01-2009, 07:41 AM
Brief update.....

PYT has not contacted me since Monday morning when I sent an apologetic text to her regarding some of my more obnoxious texts Sunday night when I was schnockered.

Gemini Girl continues to confuse and confound. After work today (for both of us separately), she seemed rather intent on getting me to one of our favorite bars, and was physically flirting, but then out of the blue said, "You're not into me, are you?" Basically she was telling me that after her last relationship, she was not into dating anyone at the moment.

Sure, no problem. And if you follow this to its illogical conclusion, you will find Gemini and Jester outside of the bar later kissing before she heads off towards home on her bicycle. More proof that both women and booze create much illogic.

I actually feel good about this, but not about the outcome per se, so much as my dealing with it. Back in high school, a girl telling me this would have created panic in me and an urge to fight such feelings in the girl, though rarely would I have actually done anything. Ten years ago, I would have told the girl she was wrong, and I would prove it. Last year, I would have cursed my luck at yet another one slipping through my fingers. Tonight? I grinned internally and just went with it, and was actually not surprised at the later kissing.

What can I say? Either I am irresistible or booze is my best friend.

My bets are on both.