View Full Version : Just some late night thoughts

03-03-2009, 03:08 AM
Ever since Freshman year, I have had nights where I was plagued by thoughts of graduation. I could hear the music in my head, see the crowd,feel the tears running down my face, hear my name being called for my diploma.

And it scares me.

I know I'm supposed to be excited for it. It means another chapter of my life is done and a new one begins. It means going into adulthood and becoming my own person.

Now, I think back to the past few years and wish that it would never end. Yeah,sure, there's drama and people acting stupid, but really, I have had the time of my life. In the past four years, I have experienced so much more than I have ever experienced before.

In the past four years,I have:
smoked my first cigarette
gotten drunk
had my first love
gave my virginity to my first love
gotten high
made new friends
had some life changing experiences
changed how I dress
changed how I perceived the world
become more vocal about my feelings
realized who I am
became more of a social butterfly
grown out of my awkwardness and became a "stunning woman" (not my words)
figured out what I want to do as a career

I'm going to miss Homecoming,Prom, Future Business Leaders of America,Scholastic Bowl,Track, the classes, the people, the teachers, the closeness we all have because we are such a small town,the sports games.

BTW, my school won basketball regionals. Sectionals are tomorrow and I will be there to watch us win. I am so proud of us. We haven't won regionals in 31 years and it is in my senior year that we win it. My class put our school on thmap academic wise with our PSAE and ACT scores. I am so blessed to be a part of that. There has never been a class in the history of my school that did well in a sport and in academics. We are truly a one of a kind class. 2009!!!

03-03-2009, 03:46 AM
I can understand your fears and concerns.

I just graduated college in December, and the last four years of my life have certainly changed the way I see the world. Things are complicated and amazing all at the same time.

It's an ending, but a new beginning in your life. Hopefully whatever you decide to do in the future will be as rewarding for you as high school was.

03-03-2009, 04:23 AM
The big scary world really isn't as scary as it seems once you're in it.

Keep a sense on innocence in one hand and a set of knuckle dusters in the other. :p

03-03-2009, 04:42 AM
Wow, McGoddess! You've done more in the past four years than I have!

...boy, that says something about me, now doesn't it? :o

03-03-2009, 05:29 AM
Darlin', I know how you feel. I do. I went to three high schools (we moved a lot) and never expected to live to graduate. No, seriously, I didn't expect to live past 17.

And yet I graduated from my third high school, to which I only went for one year, but which was unquestionably my best and most memorable year of high school, for innumerable reasons.

And my life got even better in college. And even better after that. And continues to get better, almost 21 years after I walked down that aisle on that football field in that desert. No, not everyone will have their lives do that. I won't lie. It won't happen to everyone. But the fact that it can, the fact that it does, the fact that it did to me....well, darlin', that tells me that, if you allow it to, if you make it happen, then yes, life can and will get better, even better than the last four years you have experienced. It won't all be wine, honey, roses, and naked chocolate orgies. (Don't ask.) But life, as much as it will suck, will rock as well. It's really all up to you.

03-03-2009, 01:47 PM
Wow, McGoddess! You've done more in the past four years than I have!

...boy, that says something about me, now doesn't it? :o

Hell, I've only done 4 of the things on that list in the last 8 years.

03-03-2009, 03:01 PM
My experience is similar to Jester's: my life has gotten progressively better since high school.

But I understand how you're feeling--I felt that way after graduating from college. College was the first time I'd really had friends, and SO many formative moments had happened there. I was afraid that that was the end of all the fun times.

But it wasn't. Sure, I have to put a little more effort into making the fun times happen now--have to plan around my friends' schedules, drive farther to see them, etc. But it's worth it. Life has gotten objectively better, even after college.

It's ok to be sad about graduating. You are leaving a special time behind. But don't be afraid to look ahead, either!