PDA

View Full Version : May I whine? (girly body image issues inside!)


GingerBiscuit
03-04-2009, 08:12 PM
I have had an... emotinal couple of days.

In short, I am having body image issues. And it's worse, because I know I am being utterly ridiculous and shallow. So here's the sane bit of my brain going 'your bodies fine, not perfect, but who's is? So you've got a curvy bottom. Plenty of guys like it that way. And anyway, it works, doesn't it? It keeps you upright, does it's job? What are you complaining about?'

And here's the rest of it:
'You're such a grotesque fat bitch. You should just wear a sack, save the world from having to see your nauseating pasty wobbling flesh. If you don't the entire world will drown in vomit. How can he want you? How can anyone! Your arse has it's own gravitational field."

Guess which bit is winning right about now?

crazylegs
03-04-2009, 08:20 PM
So here's the sane bit of my brain going 'your bodies fine, not perfect, but who's is? So you've got a curvy bottom. Plenty of guys like it that way.

Right, print that bit (what you have written) off and tape it over your monitor, tape it over the top of your mirror (where you can read it).

You ARE an attractive woman, and quite frankly you don't need to be listening to the other part of your brain at all! :)

SengaKitty
03-04-2009, 08:25 PM
Honey, we all have those days, but I agree with crazylegs on this one. Print off the GOOD part, and tape it over your mirror and monitor like he said. And tell yourself that every day. Several times a day if you want to. I have to remind myself every day I'm a beautiful woman and that I'm loved by many people.
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

malmalthekiller
03-04-2009, 08:28 PM
I can definitely understand where you're coming from, especially with my winter weight staring back at me from the mirror.

But you have to remember that people love you the way you are, no matter what you look like. What makes most people beautiful isn't what can be seen with the naked eye. :)

JoitheArtist
03-04-2009, 08:32 PM
*hugs* I know how that goes. Why do you think all my avatars are of my hair and not my face? :lol:

Seriously though, you do look fine, and you know it, mostly. :) Just smack that whiny part around with a salmon for a little while. :salmon:

GingerBiscuit
03-04-2009, 08:38 PM
knowing it and feeling it are two different things.

God damn it brain, why are you insisting this! I look fine!

crazylegs
03-04-2009, 08:44 PM
knowing it and feeling it are two different things.

God damn it brain, why are you insisting this! I look fine!

Indeed they are, but a huge amount of feeling it can come from telling yourself it too, so get telling yourself chick! :)

wagegoth
03-05-2009, 12:12 AM
Ask your boyfriend to tell you the same thing at least three times a week. It sounds silly, but even if you know that he's saying it because you asked him to, if he's sincere it still helps a lot.

Besides the only women without a bit of wobble back there are anorexic 16-year-old models or used to be men or have piles of money and a plastic surgeon on speed dial.

Greenday
03-05-2009, 12:38 AM
The night I got home from Spring Break, I weighed myself after dinner. It said 196 lbs., which is the most I've ever weighed. That was last Friday night. Today, Wednesday, I weighed myself and I got my weight back down to 185. I was so happy. Then we were going out to dinner today and I put on the jacket my sister gave me for Christmas. Both my mom and my sister told me I can't wear it anymore because my gut shows. FML

JuniorMintz
03-05-2009, 01:11 AM
If you're like me, you have the bootie and a rack to match.

Which suits me fine, because I always joke that having both keeps me from tipping me over. Cause you know, "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!" :D

BookstoreEscapee
03-05-2009, 01:48 AM
Your second part sounds like me this afternoon when I was getting ready for the gym. So you're not alone. Sucks, though, don't it?

But I've gotten lots of compliments on my hair the last couple days. :)

RecoveringKinkoid
03-05-2009, 05:30 AM
Congratulations, you're lucky.

Part of your brain knows better than to accept the relentless brainwashing we as women are subject to. You're rebelling, going, "I know I look fine!" Even while the other voices are telling you you don't.

So many people never hear that voice. They only hear the brainwashing.

Listen to the first voice, the one telling you it's okay. That voice is the one speaking truthfully.

Check out this site about body image and women. I love this site.

http://www.about-face.org/aau/mission.shtml

Jester
03-05-2009, 12:20 PM
Ginger, listen. The fact is you're body's fine. You've got a curvy bottom, and plenty of guys like it that way. What are you complaining about?

Sound familiar? Right. That is sanity speaking. That is rational thought speaking. That is The Facts speaking loud and fucking clear. Open up your mental ear and listen to that.

And while you're doing that, I am going to take that other half of your brain out back and beat it about the head and shoulders with a rusty tire iron I happen to have laying around. And make sure it understands that not only is it to leave you alone, not bother you, not talk to you, not even look at you funny from the other side of the street, but if it doesn't, it is going to have to have another conversation with me, and the next time won't be nearly as polite. :D

Seriously, this is not just a female issue. This is a HUMAN issue. We all have some kind of self-image issues. Hell, when given the chance, my ego will curl itself into a fetal position with a Bottle of Whine and sob about what a goofy looking dorkazoid I am. And then I'll have a cute redhead flirt with me and make pointed compliments about the quality of my caboose. (This actually happened the other night, thank you very much.) And then that part of my brain that is being such a petulant little shit will get cornholed with a rusty rake and run away screaming, crying and bleeding.

Time to break out your mental rusty rake, kiddo. :lol:

Nyoibo
03-05-2009, 01:10 PM
Yeah, it's really not just a female issue, but you're at least half way there if part of your brain is telling you good stuff, kick the other half, kick it right in the crotch.

Then tell me how you did it. :p

blas
03-05-2009, 02:58 PM
Think of it this way...at least you have padding to cushion the fall :)

I try to find a positive thing about stuff about myself I don't like. Even if it's severe.

For instance I have had very bad adult acne for over a year. But it keeps my skin looking younger.

I also think the same way about my oily skin. It's a pain in the ass and a total detriment, but people with oily skin tend to have younger looking skin for much longer.

I have big boobs and a big ass. But most men like that.

I have a big German nose. But my sense of smell will never fail. I can smell cookies a mile away (ok not literally, but you get my drift).

sms001
03-05-2009, 04:36 PM
One of the most hilarious things I ever saw human beings do involved "looks" issues. In this case, two women who had been best friends since first grade. 'K' had beautiful bouncy tight blond curls, 'L' long straight black hair. Many people would kill to have either head of their hair. I'd go over in the early morning to pick 'K' up and occasionally catch them getting ready. So I would sit and watch in amazement as 'K' applied gels and irons and other such to her hair to straighten it while in the room next to her 'L' would spend the same amount of time with curlers and mousse and a hair dryer curling hers! :roll:

Obviously, perception is the key. We base how attractive we are not just on the reactions of those around us (probably damn favorable for you) or on an objective ideal, or our culture's ideal, but a mix of all of these. So probably the best thing to do when insecurities pop up is to roll with it. "Damn, Rubens would kill to have me draped over a settee right now." or "I'll be beating the butt men off with a stick this week."

Once you trick the over analyzing part of your brain into believing that you are comfortable with the way you perceive yourself both ways (too skinny butt and too big butt, even though it's the same butt) it should slack off.

Then you can focus on your knobby knees.

HorrorFrogPrincess
03-05-2009, 04:52 PM
If you're like me, you have the bootie and a rack to match.

Which suits me fine, because I always joke that having both keeps me from tipping me over. Cause you know, "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!" :D

I've got the booty, but the rack does NOT match. >>

Of course, my friends and several interested males have mentioned how nice the tush is.

I think the key is to not focus on your percieved imperfections, but to focus on your best parts. And listen to other's compliments. Because of all those previously mentioned people, I've come to be damn smug about my large butt.

The Ass that Launched a Thousand Ships.

GingerBiscuit
03-05-2009, 05:14 PM
Well, I hate to admit this, but I'm feeling pretty good today. I did some nude modelling for a photographer a few months ago and saw the finished, proffessional shots a few days ago.

DAMN.

FINE.

So I'm feeling hot today....

I'm trying to only listen to the sensible bit, but I always used to be the super skinny girl because I was a late developer, and I'm finding it hard to adjust to this shape.

katie kaboom
03-05-2009, 05:18 PM
I've got the booty, but the rack does NOT match. >>


Well i've got the rack, but i don't have any junk in my trunk.:p

HorrorFrogPrincess
03-05-2009, 05:28 PM
Well i've got the rack, but i don't have any junk in my trunk.:p

Ah, well. Just means we're each someone's fetish. ^^

... well, it motivates ME.

RecoveringKinkoid
03-05-2009, 05:36 PM
Ah, well. Just means we're each someone's fetish. ^^

... well, it motivates ME.


Quoted for truth. ;)

Gerrinson
03-05-2009, 07:07 PM
I did some nude modelling for a photographer a few months ago and saw the finished, proffessional shots a few days ago.

DAMN.

FINE

In that case, might I say TTIWWP.

1504 :p

Der Cute
03-05-2009, 08:17 PM
And see, Ginger, I'm heavier than I've ever been.
My old Fat Pants are now Too Small!

But my boyfriend - who admits to liking cute women who are medium skinny - not bones but not BIG GIRLS - he thinks I'm hot. Because I have a brain, intelligence, humor, and all that plus my boobs and buns help. He likes me for me. He loves my curves.
(and he's the one whining that he's got a pooch. Buster, I can see that pooch and raise it by 3.)

I think I'm decent looking. But - look at pictures taken of you when you're happy - you glow. And glowing is half the battle.

Cutenoob

draggar
03-05-2009, 08:19 PM
First, a response to your initial post. I'll tel you what I tell my wife when she gets like this:

Shut up and quit sulking. If you think badly about yourself then you're going to only feel bad about it.

Other than your avatar pic, I don't know what you look like but from what I've seen here you seem to be intelligent, level headed, and on the right track. This will stick with you for your entire life. Good looks go. the best looking people now WILL AGE and chances are they will not age well (without spending a lot of money).

So what if you're curvy, yes, many guys like that. Sorry, but if I'm with someone I can't stand bones stabbing me. You don't look like a toothpick - so what. People like that are very unhealthy and usually end up being sick. You have your health - be glad of that.

Well, I hate to admit this, but I'm feeling pretty good today. I did some nude modelling for a photographer a few months ago and saw the finished, proffessional shots a few days ago.

DAMN.

FINE.

So I'm feeling hot today....

I'm trying to only listen to the sensible bit, but I always used to be the super skinny girl because I was a late developer, and I'm finding it hard to adjust to this shape.

In that case, might I say TTIWWP.

1504 :p

I fully agree. :angel::devil::angel:

BTW - my wife complains that she doesn't like her rear end, she thinks it's too big. I like it because it's the right size to grab onto. :D

JoitheArtist
03-05-2009, 08:32 PM
Check out this site about body image and women. I love this site.

http://www.about-face.org/aau/mission.shtml

oooh, link! *clicky* You're right, that's a great site!

Honestly, I'm a big fan of Dove because of their Campaign for Real Beauty. www.dove.com, there should be a tab at the top of the page. They've got some great vids (particularly the one Onslaught: http://www.dove.us/#/features/videos/default.aspx[cp-documentid=8354359]/ and Evolution, though Amy is great as well)

GingerBiscuit
03-05-2009, 10:06 PM
First, a response to your initial post. I'll tel you what I tell my wife when she gets like this:

Shut up and quit sulking. If you think badly about yourself then you're going to only feel bad about it.

Other than your avatar pic, I don't know what you look like but from what I've seen here you seem to be intelligent, level headed, and on the right track. This will stick with you for your entire life. Good looks go. the best looking people now WILL AGE and chances are they will not age well (without spending a lot of money).

So what if you're curvy, yes, many guys like that. Sorry, but if I'm with someone I can't stand bones stabbing me. You don't look like a toothpick - so what. People like that are very unhealthy and usually end up being sick. You have your health - be glad of that.






I fully agree. :angel::devil::angel:

BTW - my wife complains that she doesn't like her rear end, she thinks it's too big. I like it because it's the right size to grab onto. :D
They are really, really, REALLY likely to get me banned. I'm not sure anyone else would appreciate nude bondage photos, even if they are really well p0hotographed and look fantastic.

sms001
03-05-2009, 11:37 PM
I did some nude modelling for a

See? (See previous post, Ruben et al.)

The brain is tricksey. Tell it to go away and come back next week when it's not so judgmental.

Jester
03-06-2009, 12:33 AM
Obviously, perception is the key.

Absofreakinglutely. I have naturally curly hair. And when I was a kid, old women used to always come up and RAVE about how awesome my curls were.

Naturally, I hated them. "The curls or the women?" Yes.

It wasn't until I was in my early thirties that I really started getting comfortable with the whole curly-haired thing. The amusing thing about that is that I have never been one of those people that keeps their hair really short, and for years in my early twenties, I actually had hair down my back. Made for an interesting combination, let me tell you.

I've got the booty, but the rack does NOT match.

I almost got a t-shirt for a friend of mine while on vacation that would work just as well for you. On the front it read "Who needs big boobs?" And on the back, with an arrow pointing down, it read "...when you've got an ass like THIS?" :lol:

I did some nude modelling for a photographer a few months ago and saw the finished, proffessional shots a few days ago.

I have to chime in with "This thread is usless without pictures!"

They are really, really, REALLY likely to get me banned. I'm not sure anyone else would appreciate nude bondage photos, even if they are really well p0hotographed and look fantastic.

Naturally, being the helpful sort I am, I have a solution to this dilemma for you, if you are interested in showing said pics to interested parties.

1. Post a link only. Those who want to see can go see, those who don't, won't.
2. PM said pics to said interested parties upon request. And if we're pulling numbers for that, I'd like to claim 1, please. :eyewaggle:

draggar
03-06-2009, 12:51 AM
I almost got a t-shirt for a friend of mine while on vacation that would work just as well for you. On the front it read "Who needs big boobs?" And on the back, with an arrow pointing down, it read "...when you've got an ass like THIS?" :lol:

Where was it? I should get that for my wife. :D

Nurian
03-06-2009, 12:53 AM
1. Post a link only. Those who want to see can go see, those who don't, won't.


And make certain it's labeled with the infamous (NSFW).

Nyoibo
03-06-2009, 01:14 AM
I'm not sure anyone else would appreciate nude bondage photos, even if they are really well p0hotographed and look fantastic.

Says who? :p


2. PM said pics to said interested parties upon request. And if we're pulling numbers for that, I'd like to claim 1, please. :eyewaggle:

I'd like to claim 2, please. :)

RetailWorkhorse
03-06-2009, 03:59 AM
They are really, really, REALLY likely to get me banned. I'm not sure anyone else would appreciate nude bondage photos, even if they are really well p0hotographed and look fantastic.

Bondage Makes Everything Better. :D

PM said pics to said interested parties upon request. And if we're pulling numbers for that, I'd like to claim 1, please. :eyewaggle:

Claiming 3 on my end.

Jester
03-06-2009, 06:16 AM
By the way, I should point out that I am not in any way a bondage fan, but if the subject is right (say, GB), I can make exceptions.

As I say this, I notice that my PM box is sadly, like my dating life, disturbingly quiet. Why am I not surprised?

Where was it? I should get that for my wife. :D

I saw it in Ft. Myers Beach, FL, but I am sure you can find said t-shirts online.

JuniorMintz
03-06-2009, 06:17 AM
I've got the booty, but the rack does NOT match. >>


LOL! If it means anything, my rack has actually been shrinking as of late. In fact, I should tell the truth and change my tag to "C Cups Full of Justice (if that!)".

Stupid female body-lose 5 pounds, and 4 come from your tits. :( :o

The Ass that Launched a Thousand Ships.


And this?!? Genius! I'm seriously tempted to steal it... I won't, but I'm damn tempted... :lol:

Rapscallion
03-06-2009, 06:51 AM
1. Post a link only. Those who want to see can go see, those who don't, won't.
2. PM said pics to said interested parties upon request. And if we're pulling numbers for that, I'd like to claim 1, please. :eyewaggle:

Links out in the open are against established site rules. PMs are fine, but I suspect a professional photographer won't have them up on a website to see.

Rapscallion

Seshat
03-06-2009, 11:55 AM
Ginger,

As you (might) know, I have serious health issues. I've come up with a line of self-talk that helps me feel better about my appearance. It goes kind of like this:


My genotype is a human female genotype, therefore my body's natural shape and structure and colouring is a human female shape and structure and colouring.

Starting from when I searched for a good doctor, I have been looking after my body to the best of my ability given the information I had and the condition I was in.

Therefore my body is a human female shape etc that has been being looked after to the best of my ability for more than ten years.

Ergo: as long as I'm clean, my nails are trimmed, my hair is unknotted, and I have clothing that fits and is in good condition, I look just fine. Maybe even hot.



PS: clothing is really important for helping you look good.

Find a neutral that suits your colouring, and a set of colours that suit your colouring (and each other). Get swatches of those colours: raid your local hardware store's paint-sample counter.

Find a style that suits your body, lifestyle and personality.

Get a set of classic basics in the neutrals.
Always buy your 'fancy' or 'personal flair' clothes and your accessories in the colours (or the neutrals, just sometimes).

Make sure the clothes *fit* properly. Get to know a dressmaker or an alterations place, and get them to tell you what fitting problems are cheap/easy, and which are hard. Or learn to alter clothes yourself.
If there's a garment you like but the alterations would be expensive or really hard, don't buy it! Only buy things that fit you properly, or can be cheaply/easily altered to fit properly.
The wardrobe manager for Seinfeld got George's clothes one size too small to make him look dorky. One size too big is better than one size too small! The right size is even better.

Keep your clothes in good condition.

Review the colours and styles every few years. Not every year, just when you've made a significant change to your general appearance, or every five years (cause age changes you).

Do this, and you'll be able to blindly reach for any of your clothes and make a great outfit you'll look fantastic in!

Of course, it will take time to get to the stage where your whole wardrobe is like this. But it will happen!

draggar
03-06-2009, 01:32 PM
By the way, I should point out that I am not in any way a bondage fan, but if the subject is right (say, GB), I can make exceptions.

As I say this, I notice that my PM box is sadly, like my dating life, disturbingly quiet. Why am I not surprised?

I saw it in Ft. Myers Beach, FL, but I am sure you can find said t-shirts online.

She's a tease. :angel::roll::lol: (j/k)

TY for the T-shirt information, I'll look it up when I get home.

Links out in the open are against established site rules. PMs are fine, but I suspect a professional photographer won't have them up on a website to see.

Rapscallion

If she has the pictures, she can scan them and post them online. Even in a password protected directory (note to OP: disable right clicking if you do this).

I'll put down $20 that Raps PM'ed her for the link. :roll::lol:

Rapscallion
03-06-2009, 02:00 PM
I'll put down $20 that Raps PM'ed her for the link. :roll::lol:

Then you've lost. I accept payment in cookies.

Zero calorie cookies.

Rapscallion

protege
03-06-2009, 02:54 PM
$20-worth of cookies then :D

I've gone on about my appearance before. Let's just say that it hasn't done me any favors. Still, I haven't aged like some people I know ;)

HorrorFrogPrincess
03-06-2009, 04:13 PM
I almost got a t-shirt for a friend of mine while on vacation that would work just as well for you. On the front it read "Who needs big boobs?" And on the back, with an arrow pointing down, it read "...when you've got an ass like THIS?" :lol:


Oh, wow. I SO need to get that! :eek:


LOL! If it means anything, my rack has actually been shrinking as of late. In fact, I should tell the truth and change my tag to "C Cups Full of Justice (if that!)".

Stupid female body-lose 5 pounds, and 4 come from your tits. :( :o



And this?!? Genius! I'm seriously tempted to steal it... I won't, but I'm damn tempted... :lol:

Yeah, you never lose it where you want to lose it.

And I may have to put that on a different T-shirt. With a Jolly Roger attached. Butt-love and Pirates. Together at last.

Becks
03-06-2009, 05:22 PM
Where was it?

Oh, wow. I SO need to get that!

I've seen it on tshirthell.com

:shrug:

HorrorFrogPrincess
03-06-2009, 05:36 PM
I've seen it on tshirthell.com

:shrug:

Thank you. I'll check there. ^^

GingerBiscuit
03-06-2009, 06:21 PM
Ok, I've found his website. He is a famous photorgrapher- people pay for his prints and apparently a few of mine have been quite popular, including the one we've ordered a copy of- so I can pm people his website, so you can see his style- but I'm not on there. I do have a few unfinished, unedited photos he sent me, but the finished ones are better.

Edit- Jos just said I am whats wrong with the modern world. I have a pretty face, amazing hair, and a body that screams sex and fertility- and myshape is unfashionable, my face is old-fashioned, my hair is 'untameable' All words used to describe me in the past.

And all I can see is that I'm short, pale, with big arse and a little waist and-yes, the rack to match- but I'm not all tall and lean and long limbed and tanned and oval faced.

Seshat
I don;t wear netrals, at all, I'm too much of a goth for neutrals other than black, but I have a real problem with fit. I am teaching myself to sew, because of it. A picture of my body- no head- is on 'shape of the nation' on the channel four website, if it's still up.

No modern clothes are designed to fit me, and I can't afford custom. Goddamn it, if I ever win the lottery that's the first expenditure.

AdminAssistant
03-06-2009, 08:00 PM
I totally feel you, GB. I'm just....*sigh* dumpy and overweight. Nice rack, fairly nice rear, but I carry a lot of weight in my belly and its. just. so. hard. Hard to find clothing, hard to find sexy underthings, hard to look in the mirror sans clothing, and hard to be comfortable nude with BT.

Blah.

Bella_Vixen
03-07-2009, 05:14 AM
find sexy underthings

Frederick's of Hollywood.

Pricey but worth it. Remember, quality over quantity.

Becks
03-07-2009, 06:01 AM
I'm just....*sigh* dumpy and overweight. Nice rack, fairly nice rear, but I carry a lot of weight in my belly and its. just. so. hard. Hard to find clothing, hard to find sexy underthings, hard to look in the mirror sans clothing, and hard to be comfortable nude

I'm with you on every point.

A lot of times it helps that I have a male harem.

Other times, even they can't help me.

RetailWorkhorse
03-07-2009, 06:38 AM
And all I can see is that I'm short, pale, with big arse and a little waist and-yes, the rack to match-

You were built for the Victorian Era, if that helps any (I don't think it does, because my help is never worth the paper it's written on, but at least I can say SOMETHING on the subject).

Jester
03-07-2009, 12:25 PM
I have a pretty face, amazing hair, and a body that screams sex and fertility- and myshape is unfashionable, my face is old-fashioned, my hair is 'untameable' All words used to describe me in the past.

And all I can see is that I'm short, pale, with big arse and a little waist and-yes, the rack to match- but I'm not all tall and lean and long limbed and tanned and oval faced.

I fail to see where the problem lies. :lol:

Ree
03-08-2009, 01:01 AM
I fail to see where the problem lies. :lol:Ditto.

I wish I had these problems. :lol:

Seshat
03-08-2009, 12:49 PM
Seshat
I don;t wear netrals, at all, I'm too much of a goth for neutrals other than black, but I have a real problem with fit. I am teaching myself to sew, because of it. A picture of my body- no head- is on 'shape of the nation' on the channel four website, if it's still up.

No modern clothes are designed to fit me, and I can't afford custom. Goddamn it, if I ever win the lottery that's the first expenditure.

Try adding charcoal grey to the black.

I sew, for much the same reason. Hourglass figure, G cup, apparently a 'great ass'. Good child-bearing hips, and PCOS-created belly.

Shangri-laschild
03-09-2009, 06:15 PM
After a while of hating how I looked I finally came up with a game plan. While I might not always feel pretty, I could at least usually grudgingly admit to adorable. So whenever I felt ugly, I'd text my best friend and tell him I was adorable. After a while, I started doing it when I was in a really good mood too. I built from there. I'm currently to a point where I can usually almost at least consider myself pretty and if I ever feel more than that, I say so. But the main point is, I keep telling myself good things about me, and eventually, I believe them :) Start with the good things that you can always see and then work up to the things that you might not always like at first till you can see them for their good parts :) Since I started doing this, I have found myself amazingly more cute or adorable or even pretty then I ever used to and my self image, despite there being a lot of things I'd like to change, has soared.