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View Full Version : I have officially earned my Cranky Senior Citizen badge.


Amethyst Hunter
04-05-2009, 05:44 AM
At the ripe old age of 32, no less. :lol:

My best friend was visiting today and we were headed back through Podunkiaville (where I live) after having hit up the town square (aka the local convenience mart) for some chocolate. Close to my house, we come upon this group of about 4 or 5 kids. They're probably younger than 16, 15, is my guess. Definitely old enough to know better.

They were walking in the middle of the street. You know, that strip of asphalt specifically designated where CARS/other large vehicles travel?

This would not be so noteworthy if it hadn't been for the fact that my friend and I were slowly but surely creeping up on them in my Car. I had slowed my speed (limit's 30 through town, I think I dropped about ten miles below that) waiting for them to GET OUT OF MY WAY, but either these little condom accidents were oblivious to the presence of a MOVING VEHICLE capable of doing severe bodily damage, or they just didn't give a damn. Since none of them was wearing earphones to an electronic device, and it would be too coincidental to assume that all of them were naturally deaf, I chose option B: they knew I was there, they just didn't give a damn.

Well that tripped my switch. I blasted the horn at them and then they moved (doubtless shouting out some obscenity at me which I didn't catch). That's right, kiddies, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE GODDAMN ROAD WHICH I AM TRAVELING ON OR I WILL BE TOO HAPPY TO MOW YOUR STUPID ASS DOWN. (Given the color of my car, blood would show up nicely on it too) There's a perfectly damn good sidewalk on either side of the street; it contains neither booby traps nor wild rabid animals (unless you count those two little nasty snippy things that one neighbor on my street calls dogs), so USE IT.

So I guess this means I am officially one of those Cranky Elders who must now move on to sitting on the porch with a rocker and cane, hollering at the squirrels that run across the grass, "GET OFF MY LAWN YA DAMN KIDS!" :devil:

Oh, and to all you parents out there who DO teach your kids common sense and good manners? THANK YOU. Seriously. :respect: :worship: Because when I run into (no pun intended) idgits like the aforementioned, I have to remind myself that there *are* still good kids in the world and that not all of them are roadkill waiting to happen.

ArcticChicken
04-05-2009, 06:18 AM
My cousin's solution to that is to pop the car into neutral, and rev the engine. They scoot outta' there real fast. :lol:

AdminAssistant
04-05-2009, 03:23 PM
Don't feel bad, AH, I had pretty much the same thing happen to me just a week ago. Except it was two ADULT women. I rolled right behind them for a few minutes, before I just drove around them.

SG15Z
04-06-2009, 01:04 AM
Hey I'm only 20 and I would have done the same thing. In fact I have! :D I guess we're both old then? Well awesome then cause I always wanted a reason to do this...

*drags rocking chair out to his porch* Ah nice and comfy! *sips his ice tea*

Ahem *clears throat* GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMN HOOLIGANS!!!! :devil:

BookstoreEscapee
04-06-2009, 02:25 AM
GIT OFF MAH LAWN!!! (http://ihasahotdog.com/2008/02/10/loldogs-cute-puppy-pictures-git-off-lawn/)


Now the neighbors' kids run rampant on my lawn
I bought a slingshot
But my aim is rarely on
They see me comin'
And they run for their young lives

(anyone know that song?)

Shards
04-07-2009, 07:40 AM
I'm 18, and I have both yelled at someone to get off my lawn and slammed my horn at people walking in the road.

I think it comes with being an old-fashioned person in a college town. I was taught a set of rules and respectful procedures growing up which I follow, and if I'm walking out on the road, I'm alert, not expecting anyone to go out of their way to slow down or avoid me. (They should, they are legally obligated to, but I'm a cynic and believe everyone's an amoral idiot until they can prove otherwise) I have spent my life surrounded by people who are, for the most part, either A) College students who don't think the rules (Here I'm talking laws + self-preservation, not any of the respect stuff I learned growing up) apply to them. B) High school students who don't think the rules apply to them. Or C)High school students whose parents were either A or B, and raised them as such.

I have no issue with teenage parents. Some of the most respectable people I know are the products of teenage parents, what I am against is moron parents, and anyone who thinks that the laws don't apply to them or that they shouldn't have to think about keeping them self alive, because everyone else has to avoid hurting them anyway (Due to those same laws you think you're above, jacka**), is a moron.

Sorry, starting typing a reply and just couldn't stop the quick rant.

El Pollo Guerrera
04-07-2009, 08:02 AM
My cousin's solution to that is to pop the car into neutral, and rev the engine. They scoot outta' there real fast. :lol:

I am so going to try that... :D

protege
04-07-2009, 12:51 PM
They scoot outta' there real fast. :lol:

Yes, they will. I know this from personal experience. On my street, the damn kids will play hockey...all summer long in the middle of the street. Most of the time, they get out of the way, but every now and then...they refuse to move. Trust me, there's nothing like popping the car into neutral (still slowly moving, of course), blipping the throttle...and watching them scatter :lol: It's even better if you have a noisy, exhaust-spewing piece of crap like my now-gone Mazda :p

LibraryLady
04-07-2009, 04:53 PM
Ah, yes. Youth must be served...

..preferably with a bechamel sauce over a bed of rice pilaf with a salad of baby greens and a big, white burgundy on the side.

Salted Grump
04-08-2009, 12:01 AM
It's even better if you have a noisy, exhaust-spewing piece of crap like my now-gone Mazda :p

I have a 1970 Buick Skylark with a 350 Ci V8, and a chopped exhaust. I can make people Clear ten feet.:devil:

Dreamstalker
04-08-2009, 02:33 PM
As of late I've seen old people in scooters/power chairs tooling happily up the middle of a traffic lane...not sure if that's better or worse than them taking up the sidewalk.