View Full Version : Who Does This?!

04-05-2009, 11:03 PM
Ok, big rant ahead. I'm probably going to come across as very selfish and ungrateful, and I really don't care that I do. Just so you're warned.

After my Nana died, all of her furniture and whatnot was to be divided amongst the family members. Me being into all the vintage type of furniture and decor, I leaped on the opportunity to take her loveseat and giant vanity mirror that came with an attached desk looking thing. It just screamed 1970s.

My Nana had Alzheimers, and for the past 10-15 years and until she died, she never went anywhere in her house but her room, her couch, and the bathroom. For years, no one sat on or used that loveseat (it was in the livingroom), and that vanity mirror naturally went unused for longer than that, because it was in a different room.

I assumed that when I got the stuff, it would be a little musty and old smelling, but it was wrong of me to assume that anyone in my family would see to even attempt to clean the stuff or at least make sure it wasn't completely filthy.

They just packed it up and gave it to me. The mirror is covered in more dust than my entire apartment, and I have a bad habbit of not dusting much, so there's a hint of how much dust is on that mirror. I could barely see into it.

That loveseat is filthy. One touch of it and so much dust flies that my allergies flare up. So did my boyfriend's. There is a hide-a-bed in there. I can't even use it until I find the courage to use a vaccuum to suck up all the dust, dirt, and other filth in there. That thing has not been cleaned in YEARS. It's FILTHY.

Part of me right now just wants to call the Hope Gospel Mission tomorrow and have them come take it away, not even giving a shit that it's vintage and probably worth some kind of money, and a family heirloom. The greater part of me right now doesn't care how much it would hurt my family if they found out that I did that.

They didn't even care to TRY to make it somewhat decent. Right now, it's barely over 30 degrees and I have the windows open as I continue to pound on the damn thing trying to get the dust out. I am actually TOO SCARED to vaccuum it. Call me a freak, but I am.

Who the hell does something like this?!

04-05-2009, 11:12 PM
Why would you be scared to vacuum it? I think I'd be more scared to pound on it and send all that dust flying up into the air. But that's just me.

04-05-2009, 11:14 PM
Can you afford to have a professional come and clean it for you?

04-05-2009, 11:16 PM
My bf and I took the cushions off to unravel the bed, and didn't even undo it all the way because of all the filth.

I'm really disappointed because I was looking forward to having something comfortable to sleep on during the summer, as I also got an A/C unit (which, because of what they've pulled, I doubt they even tested to see if it worked) so I could sleep in the livingroom.

That thing is going to be gone. I called my parents just raving at them, and they said "It's not that dirty....it's just been sitting there unused for a while!"

And before anyone asks why I'm being such a spoiled rotten evil little princess who didn't go do it herself......I JUST started getting Sundays off this week and my parents said they'd do this for me, because when they originally planned it, I still worked Sundays.

04-05-2009, 11:23 PM
It sounds like a challenge that I would love to take on.

04-05-2009, 11:24 PM
You can have at it. In fact, you can have it.

It would have been one thing if they'd been honest and said "Blas, it needs to be cleaned." so that way, I could have cleaned it or someone else could have before it got here. Or hell, at least I would have KNOWN it needed to be cleaned! And to make it seem like it isn't that bad..."Oh it isn't that dirty!"....what the fuck ever.

04-06-2009, 12:45 AM
If I had any room, I would lol.

Alas, I have a small bedroom that my queen sized bed takes up most of.

If you drive me there and back home, I'll clean it. :lol:

04-06-2009, 12:55 AM
I'm a little concerned that whoever was your grandma's caregiver during those last years didn't make sure that the entire house was at least livable, if not spotless. Sure, she only used a couple of rooms, but why would they let the rest of the house go untouched?

Good luck with your cleaning efforts Blas - it'll be worth it when you look into that mirror a few years from now and see your nana as well as yourself.

04-06-2009, 01:00 AM
I told the story before, but my great aunt and great uncle (two of Grandma's kids, the two who live the closest!) didn't give two shits about Nana or her house when she was still alive. Part of the reason she got so bad so fast was because she was neglected. When she was in her right mind, her house was spotless. Once the disease took over, Nana couldn't even bathe herself and couldn't even remember to bathe or change clothes. Uncle Pinocchio never did anything about her, claiming he didn't have time. They were too cheap to put her in a nursing home, they did hire a few nurses (the kind that clean house and take care of the person) but they always fired them within weeks just because they didn't like them and swore up and down that the nurses were stealing Nana's antiques and stuff. A few annonymous calls (cough) to social services and Nana's conditions were investigated, and Uncle P and Aunt Alcoholic were told that Nana needed either a full time nurse at her home, or she needed to be in a home if no one was willing to live with her and take care of her, or if better care of her wasn't going to be given. About that time, Nana was hospitalized and was knocking on death's door. Finally, a few days later, God took her away so she could finally be at peace.

Naturally, as soon as she was dead, it was war over her stuff.

I talked to my parents again tonight and they admitted that NO ONE has sat on that couch in years, but "It's not that bad!".......for now, I've taken a blanket and covered it up. I'm thinking I'll just saran wrap the fucking thing. It's making me sick.

And naturally, I am hoping that if this ever happens to Uncle P and Aunt A......I hope they receive the same treatment they bestowed upon their own mother. Sick bastards.

04-06-2009, 01:46 AM
Blas, it sucks that the furniture wasn't in better condition. But...seriously, hon. Just clean it up yourself! When you get done with it, I bet it'll look great and you'll be able to think of your Nana everytime you sit on the loveseat and use the mirror.

When my maternal grandmother died in the 70's, my grandfather SOLD most of her belongings out from under my mom and her sisters. What was left, he kept, and gave to the relatives of his new wives (he married 4 or 5 times, can't remember). Mom only has a couple of things. I have one ring. That's all. I would LOVE to have something of hers, and I certainly wouldn't let something like dirt stop me.

On my father's side, we had to clean up both my great-aunt's and my grandmother's houses after they passed. They were twins, and both were collectors. We were able to kinda keep Grandma's house in check, especially after she got sick and I started cleaning house for her. But Aunt V was a loner, lived in her parents' house, amongst the clippings, newspapers, magazines, clothing...an unbelievable amount of crap. It took us weeks to go through that house. It was hard, dirty work, mostly done by my family, but one of my aunts helped us a lot, too. I think we even brought Grandma in to help us identify whether some things were heirlooms or junk. (Grandma lived nearly 10 years longer than Aunt V, a fact she was rather proud of). But it was so worth it. We came out of that house with quilts, books, more pictures than anybody knew what to do with, yearbooks, old glasses, dishes, etc. Most of the clothing and furniture was ruined (mice will do that). My other aunt then came down to claim her part of the inheritance, after we'd done all the work. If she'd complained about part of it being dirty, I'm pretty sure my awesome aunt would've smacked her.

The way your family treated your Nana is awful. You can help preserve her memory with a tiny bit of minimal effort. Break out the vaccuum and furniture polish and go at it. You may have to get the loveseat re-upholstered eventually, but you know what? It would be completely worth it.

04-06-2009, 04:06 AM
Blas, I have to go with AdminAssistant here. You're getting free vintage furniture. If you actually wanted the stuff but can't be bothered to clean it up, why would anyone else? Heck, if I were you and the stuff came to me clean, I'd actually be suprised.

Last week, I inherited a 1950's bedroom set. Sweet. Also, pretty grimy. Gonna have to hit that bad boy with some Murphy's soap and elbow grease. Of course nobody cleaned it up for me, I feel like I already owe them big for hauling it over to my place and unloading it for me.

I've actually restored and upholstered vintage furniture in the past. It can be dirty work, but it's also very challenging, fun, and rewarding. I think you should give it a shot. You will be very happy you did. You just can't buy furniture like the old stuff anymore, they just don't make it (and in the rare instance that they do, the stuff ain't cheap). So it's usually worth it to restore it when you get your hands on it.

The best thing I ever restored was a 75 to 100 year old ottoman. I peeled back the ruined upholstery and found handmade copper nails, real horsehair, genuine cotton batting. Antique springs that were actually salvagable. And a century worth of dust. It was worth every sneeze, it's my favorite piece. They don't even build furniture like that anymore.

If you want some restoration tips, drop me a line.

04-06-2009, 11:11 AM
The only small saving grace you have going for yourself here, is that apparently the parental units already said they'd clean it for you. Otherwise, I'd be saying "you selfish little prat", and you'd be earning that, you know you would. You opened with it. ;)

Granny was in no state to keep it clean and I can't imagine any of the family taking the time to clean such a manky thing before passing it on to you. You want it - you clean it. Except that apparently you already made the deal with the parents that they would. So yeah, you should feel somewhat justifiably nuts at them.

On the other hand, your situation changed since then, and they (trust me) don't want to clean that *thing* for you any more than you do ... and you actually want to *keep* it. Can you imagine how much less enticing cleaning that is looking to them?

Bottom line - you want it, clean it. And you should. Sounds like good quality retro furniture only in need of cleaning. Heck, you can clean, can't you?

artifical sweetner
04-06-2009, 08:44 PM
i think you're going to have to suck it up and vaccum. maybe use some fabric cleaner and be done with it!

04-07-2009, 03:58 AM
I suppose I was being a little unreasonable and should be more thankful. And I should have known better. These are the same people who invented "re-gifting" at Christmas (no, it did not start with Seinfeld, sorry) and they are also the same people one Christmas who gave me a candleholder that still had a half melted candle in it, as well as a clown puppet, knowing full well that I have been afraid of clowns my entire life.

And part of me will always be angry with my parents for what they did to their house. That house screamed 70s more than anything I've ever seen. It would have given the set of That 70s Show a run for its money. When we moved in, there was still lime green carpet going upstairs. I was in heaven! But my stupid father tore it up and threw it away, along with tearing down the orange flowered wallpaper from the 70s and replacing it with the ugliest redneck looking wallpaper and kitchen decor I've ever seen.

04-07-2009, 05:29 AM
Go to a hardware store, buy or rent a filter dust mask. Even a cheap paper one from a chemist will help considerably.

Put on 'dirty work' clothes, and gloves, and have at it. It will be worth it.

You may need to re-upholster it, but getting the dust off the rest is just a damp-cloth job. Then some serious cleaner to get the grime off.

The house we're living in was like that when we moved in. The whole. damn. house. It's why we got it cheap. And yes, two disabled people and one carer have made it liveable. 'Dirty work' clothes, gloves, and dust masks.

04-07-2009, 11:48 AM
Blas, I like you. I really do. However,

a spoiled rotten evil little princess who didn't go do it herself......

pretty much sounds like the perfect description here.

From what you said, you didn't help at all with the sorting out of Nana's stuff from her house. They actually delivered the stuff you wanted to you. But someone had to go through that house and sort everything out. Did you honestly think they would clean it for you, too, and deliver it in pristine condition for your enjoyment?

However horrible your relatives may be (and they may be pretty horrible, from what you've said), sorting through a loved one's things after they pass is dirty work, and I am not talking about dust here. It is unpleasant and difficult. They did this, and not only that, they delivered the objects you wanted to you. Most people I know would say, "You want it, you come get it." And those are the nice people. And you know what? I wouldn't be offended by that.

So yeah, either clean it yourself and get a little dirty or have a professional come do it. Because while your parents said they'd clean it for you, I really don't see why they should be getting their hands dirty for something you, by your own account, didn't lift a finger to get.

I suppose I was being a little unreasonable and should be more thankful.

Yes, and yes. Your words are very appropros here.

Look, I hate cleaning as much as the next person. Probably more so. My bedroom would attest to that. (Yet another thing I need to take care of. Damn it!) But if I inherited something from my grandparents or father, something I really loved and/or that reminded me of them, a little dust or dirt or whatever wouldn't make me blink. I would happily get down in the muck and fix that damn thing up.

I like you, Blas, I do. I even consider you a friend. But I tell my friends when they are spouting bullshit, and at least in your initial post, you were a fountain. If the items mean that much to you, you should be willing to put some effort into them. Several people wiser than myself have offered what I believe are good cleaning tips. Take your tiara off, put on some gloves, and follow those tips.

Then enjoy the results of your labor, and when you use those items, remember your Nana. And smile.