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View Full Version : Charity worker told my mother to "get f*****"...


Special Patrol Group
11-06-2006, 08:47 AM
In Australia a lot of charities have started paying people to convince people to sign up for monthly donations direct debited out of their accounts. Some are nice and don't push it if you FIRMLY say no, but others are just plain jerks.

I was caught by a nice, but horribly persistent one the other day and ending up signing up, even though I don't want to give out my credit card number to someone on the street, and was about to sign up through workplace giving instead (direct debited by my employer out of my pay - has the advantage of immediately lowering the tax I pay and I don't have to pay any transaction fees). I tried to explain that yes I did think his charity was a good cause and did want to sign up, just not with him on the street. I eventually caved because I just wanted to go to lunch and was actually going to sign up anyway. That was really annoying, but I COULD have said no and he wasn't being rude or anything, his persistence just was really irritating.

My mother on the other hand keeps getting harassed by some total jerks in the shopping centre she frequents. It happens every day after work when she goes in; she's tired, hungry and often upset because of her sucky job. She already has signed up for monthly donations to 3 different charities and gives about $1000 AUD every year, which is incredible seeing as she only earns about $30,000 AUD.

Anyway, she's had two really bad experiences with them in the last month. 1st, one day when she went to the shopping centre after work, she was approached by a guy and she just faintly smiled, and shook her head at him to indicate she wasn't interested (they are really hard to stop once you let them start their spiel!). As she passed him he did the sarcastic "I fine, thanks for asking. How are you today?" Which was totally rude and uncalled for. I mean sure she was trying to ignore him, but she's just trying to freakin get home! She has no obligation to say hello to every random charity employee on the street, and besides that, they KNOW that once they have you for a second, they just won't let you go. If you don't want to sign up you have no choice but to say "no" firmly and as soon as possible!

2nd time the same thing happened except this time the guy told her to "get f*****" :eek:

Employees like that give charities a bad name.

I really hate this new tactic of hiring people to get people to join. It sucks because they aren't just nice volunteers, they are people doing it for money, who are very willing to try and guilt you into some you can't afford/aren't interested in.

I want to be polite to them because they are just doing a job, but I'm so tired of trying to explain to them, when they just don't seem to care or listen to you.

This topic is probably controversial and I do respect charities, their good volunteers and employees and the important work they go in the community. I just hate this new method, and I think they really need better quality control on their employees before they cheese off people so much they won't give anymore.

Lace Neil Singer
11-06-2006, 10:57 AM
I've had that problem... cept if a charity person won't take no for an answer, I then have no qualms about telling them to bugger off. I guess that's rude, but I go to town for a reason; ie to shop, and not to spend ages talking to people soliciting for charity. Look, I give money to charities, however I don't want to have charities on my card. I'll drop some spare change into a collecting box, but I refuse to put anything on my debit. What I try before getting rude, is telling them "Sorry I already have a charity on my card". If that doesn't work, then I get rude.

Barefootgirl
11-06-2006, 11:03 AM
2nd time the same thing happened except this time the guy told her to "get f*****" :eek:.

If that ever happens again, find out which charity they are soliciting for, and write to their head office and complain. Also, write to the manager of the shopping centre (assuming its in a shopping centre, rather than out on the street) and complain. No way is that acceptable.

Linda
11-06-2006, 11:24 AM
I hate the guys that stop you in the street, mainly because the people who stop you don't work for that particular charity but rather work for an agency who represent several unrelated charities. I see the same guys day in day out in town, and each day they have a different bib on for a different charity so I really don't buy their commitment to a particular charity. And they get very aggressive when you say no to them.

I give to The Salvation Army, Diabetes UK and Dogs Trust already. Not stopping in the street to commit to a regular donation to a random stranger who is yelling at me does not make me a bad person.

scruff
11-06-2006, 12:14 PM
So far I've found saying "Sorry, I'm late for work" and not stopping works.

protege
11-06-2006, 12:29 PM
Ugh. That sucks. My grandmother no longer gives to any charities. Why? Well, for years, she gave out a bit of cash to a few. Now, many similarly-named charities are constantly bugging her for cash. Keep in mind that these same charities usually send out a *huge* amount of address labels (not cheap!) multiple times per year, and then whine about how they're not meeting their budgets. That's not the main reason though--the last time she gave to one, they got pissy because she refused to give more. She got upset, and I took the phone from her. I went *apeshit* on the person, and hung up. I don't take kindly to those who give her a hard time :devil:

blas
11-06-2006, 01:13 PM
Now I feel bad. Every time I go to the mall and someone with a clipboard comes up to me and asks for a moment of my time, I either bark at them or tell them to "get bent". Maybe I need an attitude adjustment.

The whole charity workers cussing doesn't surprise me though. I'm not sure if it was here or another site where I told the story about the young teenagers working the Salvation Army bucket and bell ringers outside of a Wal-Mart last Christmas, and they were chanting and begging people for money, and if they didn't give any, it was "Fuck you!" and "Greedy fuck!" and the like. I didn't stick around, but I'm sure they were fired/kicked out pretty quickly.

RecoveringKinkoid
11-06-2006, 02:09 PM
If she is being constantly harrassed inside a place she frequents, she needs to complain to the manager.

kzc
11-06-2006, 02:26 PM
(they are really hard to stop once you let them start their spiel!).

they KNOW that once they have you for a second, they just won't let you go. If you don't want to sign up you have no choice but to say "no" firmly and as soon as possible!

I don't understand this at all. What's hard about walking away from someone who's getting too persistent? Surely you don't feel any kind of obligation to be polite to someone who ignores you when you say "no", do you?

My policy on people soliciting me for donations in public places is very simple: the first time you get a polite "no thanks". If you are rude enough to ignore that, you've abdicated the right to any politeness from me; I'll simply walk away, with an optional salty valediction over my shoulder. No means no, motherhumper.

If you reward something, you just get more of it.

Barefootgirl
11-06-2006, 03:28 PM
The charity solicitors aren't employed by the charities (or aren't volunteers for them) but are normally employed by a third-party specialist firm. I stand by my suggestion to find out which charity they are soliciting for and then complain to that charity - believe me, the charity does NOT want its name to be associated with people who behave like that.

CrazedClerk
11-06-2006, 04:13 PM
I have a simple answer to these people: "I only give to three charities and yours isn't one of them. sorry."

RecoveringKinkoid
11-07-2006, 01:21 PM
KZC is dead, 100 percent right.

People like this know they can do what they do because 90% of everyone else is too polite to call them on it. They know that most of us are uncomfortable being rude. It's why pushy salesmen and pandhandlers know they can ignore your polite "no." It's why people are victimized by unwanted romantic or sexual interest. It's why jerks talk on cell phones in movie theaters.

It's not that rudeness is rampant. It's that most people dont' know where they can and should STOP being polite!;)

MystyGlyttyr
11-07-2006, 02:50 PM
I've never had this problem before, heh. Usually by the time I'm in a store, I'm doing my best impression of River Tam and even the pushiest charity workers veer clear of me.

Once, I growled at Boy Scouts, although in my defense, the adults were telling the kids to "swarm" people...I overheard them say it and watched them do it...the adults would say something, and then all five of the kids would stampede over and form a circle around a person and start chattering until the person coughed up some money. So when I started to go in and the little suckers came at me, I bared my teeth and gave them a snarl that a rottweiler would be proud of. They ran screaming and their parents didn't even bother to yell at me like they normally do.

Must try this again someday with some Alka-Seltzer in my mouth. THAT should run them clear off. :lol:

Yeah, I am that mean, but I'll at least wait till they attack me again before I do it.

DesignFox
11-07-2006, 06:06 PM
That's awesome Mysty! I hate when people are rude. I hate it even more when parents encourage their children to be rude. :(

Pagan
11-08-2006, 08:34 PM
I had one once that wasn't so much sucky as funny. I was walking through one of the malls and there were some University of New Mexcio students doing some fund-raising for the Lobos. Well, this one guy (tries) to stop me and keeps hammering, "Don't you want to support your UNM Lobos?" I finally stopped looked at him, looked down at the t-shirt I was wearing, looked back up at him and said, "Do you really think I would want to?" I was wearing a New Mexico State University shirt. (It's an in-state blood rivalry, we hate each other!) The look on his face was hilarious, "No....I guess you wouldn't." :p

csdrone
11-09-2006, 12:44 AM
I ignore the yelling and DH has a really cold stare he uses if he is present. Works quite nicely.

Banrion
11-09-2006, 02:02 PM
I refuse to make eye contact or acknowledge strangers on the street. Around here there is a very fine line between a panhandler and the charity workers. I do not give money to random strangers on the street for any reason. Maybe it's rude, but where I come from you are taught not to talk to strangers, and it's a policy that has worked for me so far.

Imogene
11-09-2006, 03:47 PM
Now I feel bad. Every time I go to the mall and someone with a clipboard comes up to me and asks for a moment of my time, I either bark at them or tell them to "get bent". Maybe I need an attitude adjustment.

Look at them really cheerfully, and as soon as they start spieling, "Moment's up..." and move on.

New attitude for blas!

dizzy_starshine
11-10-2006, 09:37 PM
Just recently I had the most amazing amount of fun with street charity sellers. I purchased a pull along suitcase in the sales and as I don't have a car I put all my other shopping inside it and pulled it to the bus stop, like I was going to the airport.
I saw the worker heading for me but he stopped and said

oh sorry, you're on holiday here

Well I heard a fanfare and spent a fun filled half an hour baiting them close enough before whipping the case round in front of me and grinning while chattering away in Japanese \(^_^)/. I could have spent all day seeing them totally baffled lol.

My mum has the prize for best street seller though. A man for a gas company approached her in the supermarket

MAN: Ma'am how do you pay your gas bill?
MUM: I don't

ROFL she means I don't my husband does but his face was a total winner.

Mighty Girl
11-11-2006, 04:20 AM
Oh man- do I feel your pain!!!

One of the malls near me is like that. Except this one time- this guy actually approached me as I was getting out of my car which completely freaked me out. I was getting ready to mace his ass, I didn't know if he was taking a survey or trying to carjack me with my daughter in the car.

There is this one old guy who stands around outside Macy's- and he has to be told "NO" every stinkin time I pass him. Very annoying. You would think that he would understand that if I'm pushing a stroller there's no way I'm going to stop and talk to him for an eternity, but noooooooo, he tries the first time, then when I'm exiting the store he tries again but with a surly look on his face like he's getting ready to whack me with his clipboard. Totally uncalled for. :(

Mighty Girl
11-11-2006, 04:21 AM
I ignore the yelling and DH has a really cold stare he uses if he is present. Works quite nicely.


No one ever approaches me if I'm with DH. He looks mean without even trying and he's a big guy.

Dreamstalker
11-12-2006, 03:51 PM
I refuse to make eye contact or acknowledge strangers on the street. Around here there is a very fine line between a panhandler and the charity workers. I do not give money to random strangers on the street for any reason.
Ditto. I have too little money to be giving it away at random. Go target the people who look like they have huge amounts of disposable income, kthx :rolleyes:

In my city, there are some panhandlers who will have clipboards with fake pledge sheets (someone pounding the pavement for the AIDS Ride in the middle of November is a bit of a giveaway)...poor photocopies of real pledge sheets and all the "signatures" are in the same writing.

My mom says that making eye contact is a way to avoid them, but from my experience if they even think you're looking at them, they'll race over and start their spiel.

Although last year when I was on my way back from a LARP session in full Ghostbusters gear (proton pack with full LED wiring), I never got bothered once :D

Banrion
11-13-2006, 12:27 PM
In my city, there are some panhandlers who will have clipboards with fake pledge sheets (someone pounding the pavement for the AIDS Ride in the middle of November is a bit of a giveaway)...poor photocopies of real pledge sheets and all the "signatures" are in the same writing.

We are talking about the same city! LOL good ol' Boston. My b/f and I had someone try the AIDS ride thing on us, the problem is we participate in the real one ourselves, and told them so, they still didn't back off!

Dreamstalker
11-13-2006, 08:50 PM
They seem to congregate in little packs at the bus stops on Mass Ave. or so I've noticed.

I was within a millisecond of calling the cops on one guy who was accosting people outside the Harvard Square 7-11 for awhile...he vanished, I thought he had been arrested, then he relocated to Newbury Street right outside the T station so there was no avoiding him. He wasn't around there for very long though, I think because cops showed up during the tearing-up of the street.

I don't think I could carry my proton pack replica on the subway anymore....knowing my luck I'd get arrested when some yahoo thinks it's a bomb :eek:

Banrion
11-14-2006, 01:45 PM
I encounter them most frequently at Downtown Crossing. OxFam has been there for 2 weeks straight recently. I once had one chase me on foot from North Station all the way to South Station. I give him credit for the effort, but seriously!

RecoveringKinkoid
11-14-2006, 02:06 PM
A friend of mine got chased from the Pantry behind the Kinko's to the back door of the store by either a really unmotivated mugger or a really persistant panhandler. To this day we are not sure which. As my friend was loping along, he called back over his shoulder, "Dude? You suck as a predator."

Priceless.

Banrion
11-14-2006, 04:51 PM
I was actively avoiding this guy, he was alot bigger than me and scary. Total distance from North to South stations 1.48 miles according to mapquest. Probably slightly shorter on foot. He didn't stop following me until I actually walked to the security desk in the building I work in.

Dreamstalker
11-15-2006, 12:26 AM
:eek: The guy didn't turn away until he saw the security guard?

I've never actually been followed, but the aforementioned creepazoid in Harvard Square did prevent me from crossing (actually forced me to walk into the street to avoid him) and tried to grab my shoulder--that was when I yelled and he backed off upon seeing he was drawing attention.

Luna
11-15-2006, 03:18 AM
Whoa. People ask for your debit card for donations? ARRRGGGGHHHHHH!

*That sound was my brain imploding in my skull.*

There is NO farking way I'd ever give my debit card to anyone claiming to come from a charity. I don't care if they gave me their driver's ID, social security card, vehicle registration and home phone number - I still wouldn't do it.

Is that just something common overseas? I've never heard of such a thing anywhere. :eek:

Dreamstalker
11-15-2006, 02:15 PM
I've noticed around here it's usually Oxfam and MASSPIRG that do the credit-card request (those are the only two I've noticed, anyway).

Hell no. If I want to make any donation anywhere via credit card, I will call the organization directly and do so. I get the oddest looks when I say I refuse to give out my credit card number...and usually they get pushier. I'm unemployed right now and don't particularly have the money to give away randomly, kthxbye.

The numbers are written right next to your name on a pledge sheet with about 10 areas to a page. Anyone could see that number, and after collecting numbers all day a dishonest person could do whatever they pleased.

Becks
11-15-2006, 04:10 PM
As my friend was loping along, he called back over his shoulder, "Dude? You suck as a predator."


:spew: Oh, that's funny!!!!! I would so totally say that myself!!!!!!!

Tria
11-15-2006, 08:23 PM
KZC is dead, 100 percent right.

People like this know they can do what they do because 90% of everyone else is too polite to call them on it. They know that most of us are uncomfortable being rude.

Now see, I am one of the lovely 10% that calls people on their chosen flaw du jur.

RecoveringKinkoid
11-15-2006, 08:43 PM
Yeah, me too. I figure it often falls to me to be the prick. Someone's got to do it.

Which brings me to a point I try to live by: If someone's got to be pissed off, it might as well be the OTHER guy.

I would rather nobody be pissed off. But if someone's jerkiness causing a problem for me, I'll serve that right on back. Then I don't go home feeling like "I wish I'd said something to that jerk." The jerk is pissed at being called out, but...so? ;)

Jade Pheonix
11-17-2006, 03:00 AM
(Sorry if this is kinda long)

I never give money to these "charity workers" simply because I know how they work. There was one time I almost became one of them. It was one of those " Help the poor children" charities that offered between $300 and $900 a week.

I was interested because of the good pay and they were interested in my special talent of making sales, the result of working in retail for four years. But then I asked where my paycheck would come from in a "non-profit" organization.

"You get 30% out of what you gather in pledges." the recruiter told me. Basically, my paycheck would be 30% of the money people pledged to help the "poor children"

"And, when you get promoted to being my assistant, you'll get 80%"

At first, this sounded fine to me, more money in my pocket. But then I slipped and fell on a patch of ice, hitting my head. It was then that my concience kicked in, told me it was wrong and I could do better. I limped up back to the recruiter and said I changed my mind, and then called the organization a phoney.


Long story short and some advice: When confronted with panhandlers, especially in the holiday season with all the "It's for the children!" charities, offer non-money donations like clothes, books, and toys. Chances are, they'll say they only accept money. Your donation is, after all, their paycheck.

protege
11-17-2006, 04:14 AM
How about this? One of my grandmother's friends would always donate to a certain Midwestern college (with the same name as a large cathedral in France). For years, she'd make the same amount. About 5 years ago, the school actually got pissy with her because she didn't want to increase the amount. Not surprisingly, she told them to "get bent" and hasn't sent them another dime.

BTW, can you imagine a lady in her early-to-mid-80s saying "Get bent?" That just made my day when she told me :spew:

Dreamstalker
11-17-2006, 03:14 PM
BTW, can you imagine a lady in her early-to-mid-80s saying "Get bent?" That just made my day when she told me :spew:
:roll: That sounds like something my step-grandmother would do.

SongsOfDragons
11-24-2006, 06:25 PM
About two people this semester have tried to get me to sign up for something I can in no way afford. Both times I've told them I'm on student budget and have to spend my money on food, toiletries and uni supplies. The first ignored that, the second tried for the guilt trip about people starving in Africa. That pissed me off, so I just went 'me starving myself is not going to help Africa in the slightest'.

The only charity I give to is the one I'm a member of, Epilepsy Action, and that is it.

MystyGlyttyr
11-24-2006, 06:55 PM
HA! I got some today! This couldn't have been scripted better. Booya, heh heh.

I was headed into Wal-Mart today and the usual bell ringers were there, but there were some other freaks lurking around, too. One of them approached me.

Lady: "Hi, we're with Cure Autism Now-,"
Me: "No."
Lady: "Uhh...um, we're collecting for-,"
Me: "No."
Lady: "Look, we-,"
Me: "I know who you are and I know what you're doing. The answer is no."
Lady: *miffed* "Don't you care about curing this disease??"
Me: "I'm an anti-cure Aspie."
Lady: *obviously not catching the whole statement* "How can you be against a cure for autism?!"
Me: "I AM autistic, and I LIKE being this way."
Lady: *incredulous* "You can't be autistic!"
Me: "Oh, I can't, huh? Don't you know what Asperger's Syndrome is? Do you know how wide the autistic spectrum goes? You ever been to aspiesforfreedom.com? Do you know anything about the 'disease' you're campaigning against other than what's in your crappy little brochure?"
Lady: *stammers* "We...wuh...you're..."
Me: "Again. No." *enters store*

Whether or not you agree with the politics I leveled her with (and I'm cool if you don't, just don't scream at me please :D ), you have to agree that if you're going to be collecting money for something, you should have at least SOME working knowledge of your subject...

RecoveringKinkoid
11-25-2006, 04:03 AM
Having a buddy who is pretty much a functioning autistic, what you said is probably right on.

And as for Aspergers, I bet the guys and gals making billions of dollars in Silicon Valley aren't busting their butts to be cured of their "afflictions." ;)

Casino Jockey
11-25-2006, 10:44 PM
Whether or not you agree with the politics I leveled her with (and I'm cool if you don't, just don't scream at me please :D ), you have to agree that if you're going to be collecting money for something, you should have at least SOME working knowledge of your subject...

Awesome!!! as an aspie i totaly agree with what you said. I did a few units of psych at uni and even they had not much clue about AS!

i wouldn't trade my AS for anything.

JustADude
11-28-2006, 06:15 AM
Okay... woah... you know, I did some reading on Asperger's Syndrome since I realised I didn't know jack about the subject, and I have an odd feeling I might just qualify. I'm torn between being depressed at having finally been stuck with a lable and proud that there may be other people whose heads work like mine.

Dreamstalker
11-30-2006, 09:51 PM
Awesome!!! as an aspie i totaly agree with what you said. I did a few units of psych at uni and even they had not much clue about AS!

i wouldn't trade my AS for anything.
Me neither. Yes, I have my bizarre (and at some times incomprehensible) quirks, but that's what makes me me. BTW, cool site, Mysty! I hadn't seen that one.

Have either of you read The Speed of Dark?

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