View Full Version : So NOT my lucky day!! (good for a sympathetic giggle, I hope!)

lupo pazzesco
04-17-2009, 08:40 PM
Ok, I know the title might indicate my whining again, but I promise, I'm not. It's actually rather comical, now that the situation has passed, but at the time...

anyways, moving on!

so, I get out of class today, and hop a bus, with every intention of hitting a grocery store on my way home. I'm fighting a mild sinus headache, because there's been a pressure shift, it's windy, and we're expecting rain here in H-Town. No big deal, I'll grab sudafed while I'm out, and add it to my list.

I get off the bus at the appropriate stop, and am thankful. I'd recently started a lifestyle change, wanting to get healthier, and in shape and whatnot, and as a result, started drinking a lot more water and herbal tea. Upon exiting the bus, I realized I needed the little Lupo's room. Quite badly.

So, I cross the street, manage not to get hit by a vehicle, and make my way to the doors of the grocery store. As soon as I hit the threshold...the power goes out.

:wtf: Damnit!!

Door greeter tells me not to worry, they have a backup generator, and all's going to be well. Woot! I thank him and make my way inside, intent on getting to the bathrooms. Not ten steps inside aaaaaand....the backup generator fails. The entire store is pitch black.

At that point, security and all personnel are herding everyone outside because it's not safe to be in a pitch black store. Perfectly understandable.

But cripes, I still REALLY have to go!

So, I pause, orient myself, and look around, thinking I'll just hit another shop in the center and do my business. The ENTIRE shopping center is dark.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. This is getting worrisome and my bladder has started to do the hustle within me, indicating that I'd best find a bathroom and quickly. Ok, no big deal. Take a deep breath, think about where I am.

I pull out my cell phone to call EQ, because at this point, I needed a moment to rant about how the universe was mocking me. Again. As I start walking towards another shopping center that I think is just down the road, I pass it by bus all the time. I've never been to that grocery store before, but hey, it's an adventure! A new place to try! Oh glory, I may just find a new favorite store! Think positive, etc, etc.

Of course, by this point, my mild sinus headache is starting to feel like my eyeballs are swelling out of their sockets and there's a rhythmic pounding not unlike a sweaty viking-like man beating out a rhythm in time for some poor underworked employees to sew faux gucci wallets to.

I set off walking. And walking. And walking. And walking some more. Yes, that shopping center "just down the street"? Actually, a bit closer to a mile. Seems a lot closer by bus. So it takes me about 30 minutes to walk there, bladder protesting every step of the way. I near it and come close to weeping with joy. Finally! Salvation is nigh!

I get closer...

THIS shopping center is dark, too!! They've lost their power as well! I come close to weeping again, but alas, not with joy!!

At this point, I'm realizing everything in this direction is turning residential/medical district, with not one public restroom in sight. I must go back the way I came. I've been keeping my eye out for a bus at this point, hoping, yet fearful one will show up. Hoping so I don't have to walk, yet fearful because have you ever experienced a ride on a bus while you REALLY have to go to the bathroom?

It's torture. Stop hitting the bumps, I'll tell you everything! Everything I know! Everything I don't know! It's my fault, mine! I shot JFK! I shot the Sheriff! I shot the fucking deputy, just make it stop!!!

<Ahem> Of course, with the way my luck has been turning today, no bus was in sight.

I walk back the way I came. I passed the first shopping center. Still dark. I keep walking. Still, dark windows everywhere I look. This is not boding well, and my bladder has gone from silently protesting to beating on the bars of it's prison, attempting to incite a riotous mutiny. It's not a pleasant feeling. I end up walking at least another 30 minutes in the opposite direction until I spot a starbucks. And it looks like the lights are on! Could salvation really be this close? Finally? Is there an oasis in the desert? One that comes with a toilet?!?

Yes! Success! They have power and they're open!! I go to the register, and ask where the restrooms are. Only to have two baristas (One male, one female) inform me that the ladies room is out of order.


I throw all dignity to the wind. I beg. I plead. I recite my tale of woe and state that I'm willing to straddle a urinal and clean up any mess that may result but please, by all the gods, let me use your bathroom!!!

They agree to let me use the men's room, and the female barista even comes with me as lookout, to make sure there aren't anymore embarrassing moments involving me in their coffee shop.

And finally, I found nirvana! I found release! Thank the dogs!!

I exit, feeling MUCH better, having calmed the aforementioned riotous mutiny within. I go to the counter. Order tea and a sandwich, (which, incidentally, was SO tasty, I must find a way to re-create it in a lower calorie version, if possible!)

Upon re-fueling, I looked at the time. I'd wasted almost two HOURS for this debacle. And the weather had gotten progressively worse! I was seriously waiting to be rained on, just to have the cherry on that sundae of suck. I decided fuck shopping, I'm going to just go home! Managed to catch a bus heading in the right direction.

Upon exiting the bus to walk home, it starts raining and I do indeed, get soaked. My day was complete. Hallelujah. Nothing like the feel of sticky wet denim and squishy socks.

And my sinus headache is STILL attempting to eject my eyeballs from their sockets.

I love my life.



Evil Queen
04-17-2009, 08:50 PM
Wow... I didn't think it was THAT bad until now. I'm sorry Lupo.

I should have unloaded the car and went and got you. :(

lupo pazzesco
04-17-2009, 09:01 PM
Wow... I didn't think it was THAT bad until now. I'm sorry Lupo.

I should have unloaded the car and went and got you. :(

<Hugs> Don't feel guilty! You were all migrainey and stuff. It worked out in the end even if I didn't get to go grocery shopping. I'll squeeze in in later sometime.

S'ok!! really!!

04-17-2009, 09:21 PM
Ouch. I hate to say it, but a couple times, I giggled. I've been in similar situations, but I don't think I've ever had to hold it quite that long before. o_O

lupo pazzesco
04-17-2009, 09:22 PM
Ouch. I hate to say it, but a couple times, I giggled. I've been in similar situations, but I don't think I've ever had to hold it quite that long before. o_O

Ah, but as a male, you can, if necessary and in dire straits, duck behind a bunch of trees or bushes. Bit harder for me. Add to it my extreme lack of balance and grace, and holding was the safest, sanest option... :o

04-17-2009, 09:31 PM
Ah, but as a male, you can, if necessary and in dire straits, duck behind a bunch of trees or bushes.

You know, it's one thing to say it, but it's another to do it. I'm incredibly pee-shy. The idea that someone might stumble upon me means I've certainly held it for an hour or so when the bushes were an option. Glad your comedy of errors is done now though. Hope the headache passes with minimal issues :)

04-17-2009, 10:01 PM
*snugs Lupo* I've had a day like that...well no power outages but the quest to finding a bathroom and not going more then a mile off the route.

04-17-2009, 10:16 PM
Pee-shy is good.

At a recent bike event the competitors moved off down the farm track to the start line. Of course a few had to do that last minute release and moved behind some of the nearby bushes.

One, however, simply walked up to the nearest bush, back to all the spectators, and let rip.


Go the pee-shy!

lupo pazzesco
04-17-2009, 11:02 PM
I suppose I could look at this as a blessing in disguise. All that frantic walking, looking for a restroom resulted in my walking about 2 miles at a fairly steady pace! There's my exercise for the day. I'm so not breaking out the workout DVDs tonight. Tired, and my legs hurt from my hurried stride. Still burned a decent amount of calories, though, so I'm ahead of the curve! Squee!