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View Full Version : The Sign we all Wish we Could Have


gbm85
07-07-2006, 05:32 PM
Seen at the local can-rebuy shop. Couldn't help but snicker ;)

Luna
07-07-2006, 05:35 PM
That's awesome! But then they ones the sign is meant for would never read it anyways.... :rolleyes:

Think Blue
07-07-2006, 06:03 PM
That is the best sign I've ever seen.

DGoddessChardonnay
07-07-2006, 08:07 PM
I saw the same sign posted at the beauty shop my stepmom frequents.

It's awesome.:D

Kelly Lynne
07-07-2006, 08:32 PM
Ooh, I *love* that. But shouldn't there be an apostrophe there?

karma_gypsy
07-07-2006, 11:14 PM
That's awesome! But then they ones the sign is meant for would never read it anyways.... :rolleyes:


My thoughts exactly. Considering that most people can't even read the closed signs in front of their noses.

MadMike
07-08-2006, 06:20 AM
When I was little, I saw one at a restaurant that said, "Complaints to the cook may be hazardous to your health."

Another one I saw was in a used CD place, that had a drawing of a mean looking guy, with the caption, "Keep your kids in line, or I will!"

Lace Neil Singer
07-08-2006, 01:34 PM
Another one I saw was in a used CD place, that had a drawing of a mean looking guy, with the caption, "Keep your kids in line, or I will!"Oh, I want one of those! :D

chantal
07-08-2006, 02:58 PM
At a candy shop in Port Dalhousie, there's a sign saying "Children left unattended will be sold to the circus" Oh, how I wish it were true!:devil:

Lace Neil Singer
07-08-2006, 06:20 PM
The best sign I ever saw was on a warehouse; "Guard Dogs patrol this area. Remains of trespassers will be prosecuted."

Rapscallion
07-08-2006, 06:23 PM
'Shoplifters will be taxed'. That's the best I've seen, though it was at a wholesaler.

Rapscallion

Kiwi
07-08-2006, 06:35 PM
Ive seen

"We reseve the right to include a $10 RUDE tax if you are a rude bastard"

It was in a funky beatnick cafe called the Melting Pot

still makes me smile to this day

Yossarian
07-08-2006, 08:48 PM
The sign doesn't actually show up if you aren't logged in, apparently. For all the guests, the sign reads:

"Notice: prices subject to change according to customer's attitude"

My favorite is the one at a consignment store in Seattle:

"Warning: unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy."

Argabarga
07-09-2006, 02:53 AM
The best sign I ever saw was on a warehouse; "Guard Dogs patrol this area. Remains of trespassers will be prosecuted."

In a similar vein, I once saw a sign that said "Shoplifters will be shot, survivors prosecuted"

Sacknahalf05
07-09-2006, 01:41 PM
"Unattended children will be given an espresso and a puppy"

I giggle every time I see that sign!

MystyGlyttyr
07-09-2006, 06:28 PM
I put one up in the candy store once...

"Anything you leave here becomes mine. Yay, free child labor!"

...boss made me take it down before anyone saw it, though. *sulks*

Lace Neil Singer
07-09-2006, 08:22 PM
The sign I had up in the pet section was "The Pet Section Is Not A Creche"; the sign I wanted to put up but which was vetoed by the IM was "If You Treat Me Like A Babysitter You Can Pay Me The Standard Rate." Well, I thought it was funny. *joins Mysty in sulks*

rdp78
07-10-2006, 01:54 AM
At my old job (shipping clerk) they actually charged extra to people who were bit@hing about their stuff and the boss was the one who did it. :) Anyway I've haven't seen cool signs like those.

Crosshair
07-10-2006, 03:05 AM
A few good ones.

"Never mind the dog. Beware of owner."
"These premisies protected by Smith & Wesson."
"Anyone found here at night will be found here in the morning."

Saw this one on "Americas Funniest home videos"
"No Trespassing, Unless you can cross this field in 9 seconds. The bull can do it in 10."

purplecat41877
08-19-2006, 04:40 AM
I saw a sign at the card shop I used to work at (1 of the 3 stores I worked at when I was at my 1st retail job). The sign said that there would be a $5 charge for whining.:D

Becks
08-19-2006, 03:50 PM
At a candy shop in Port Dalhousie, there's a sign saying "Children left unattended will be sold to the circus" Oh, how I wish it were true!:devil:

Nah, the circus would be too much fun for the kids. Sell them to the Amish. They'll have to WORK. :devil:

CaroPhoenix
08-19-2006, 08:38 PM
At one of the merchandise booths at the Maryland Renn Faire (I think it's the one that sells instruments) they have a sign that says:

Unattended children will be sold as slaves.

At a used bookstore I sometimes frequent they have a sign that basically says there will be an additional charge if you are whiny and/or rude. Or something like that. (I haven't been to that particular used book store in a while).

Imogene
08-19-2006, 10:10 PM
At one of the merchandise booths at the Maryland Renn Faire (I think it's the one that sells instruments) they have a sign that says:

Unattended children will be sold as slaves.



Ooh! Isn't that the sign in the store Jennie Breeden works at in Devil's Panties?
Heck, there was a strip about it. A soccer mom leaves her two kids in the comic store while Jennie's on the phone. She finds the kids. The last panel, they're in bird cages on the counter.

powerboy
08-20-2006, 12:44 AM
I think I will try to put up one that says

"If you not buying anything, then we will charge you $3.50"

Rapscallion
09-01-2006, 06:52 PM
Someone sent some through the email at work today. I liked this one.

http://www.customerssuck.com/media/plainandsimple.jpg

Not sure why I like it, but I do.

Rapscallion

DigitalEngine
09-01-2006, 06:59 PM
Here's one from an internet cafe where I hang out:

"Shoplifters will be beaten to a pulp. Survivors will be prosecuted."

And another one I saw in a bar somewhere:

"Don't drink and drive. You'll spill your drink."

ForestDragon
09-02-2006, 05:18 AM
One of my favorites that I saw in a comic shop read "Shoplifters will be merrily beaten to a bloody pulp." :devil: Made for some amusing mental images. Idrinkarum, I think I've seen the sign you mentioned. It goes something like "If you are nasty, whiny or just plain rude there will be a $10 surcharge for having to put up with you."

RecoveringKinkoid
09-02-2006, 06:23 AM
Rapscallion::spew: :lol: GEEEZ, that's hilarious!!!!!:roll:

Okay. There was an ex-marine here in town named Pappy that ran a fried chicken joint on campus. Chicken, fries, beer, soda. That was pretty much the menu. The sign on the counter said:

"This ain't McDonalds. You don't get it your way. You get it my way, or you don't GET the son of a bitch."

repsac
09-04-2006, 04:40 AM
A coffee house I go to has one that says. "Unattended children will be given a cup of espresso and a kitten."

repsac
09-04-2006, 04:42 AM
Saw this one on "Americas Funniest home videos"
"No Trespassing, Unless you can cross this field in 9 seconds. The bull can do it in 10."


Funny, but true. I've walked up on a bull while coon hunting and I can say, they do not like being woken up. However, when all else fails, throwing the shot gun at them will trip them up enough so you can scale the fence.

Lulu
09-04-2006, 11:40 AM
There's a cycle shop down the road from my bookshop that has some brilliant signs taped up in the window:

"Unattended children will be used as free manual labour in our cycle repair sweat shop."

"We do part exchange! Not applicable when paying with first born, limbs or internal organs."

And my favourite...all their opening times read like this :

9.00am-ish to 5.00pm-ish

:D

I've BEGGED my manager to let me have our opening hours like that, she won't lemme *sulks with everyone else*

WhiteSeaStar
09-10-2006, 10:48 PM
I like "Shoplifters will be prostituted".

Irving Patrick Freleigh
09-10-2006, 11:12 PM
I just thought this one up...

Shoplifters will be executed by firing squad three days per week. You guess which three.

CrazedClerk
09-11-2006, 04:21 AM
Seen in a Pawn Shop: "In God we Trust, all others pay cash."

At a bar I've been to a few times they have a huge sign that simply says "FREE BEER - Tomorrow!" (see the sign ALWAYS says that so there is no free beer).

At a Hooters once I saw one whcih read: "This sign is in Spanish when you're not looking." Bet that confused a lot of people.

And the classic: "No Trespassing. Violators will be shot. Surivors will be shot again."

Mike Taylor
09-11-2006, 09:53 AM
Ooh! Isn't that the sign in the store Jennie Breeden works at in Devil's Panties?
Heck, there was a strip about it. A soccer mom leaves her two kids in the comic store while Jennie's on the phone. She finds the kids. The last panel, they're in bird cages on the counter.

I remember that strip. :D

I haven't been over to Jennie's board in weeks. I really need to update myself.

Dips
09-11-2006, 05:15 PM
At the Gordparents store:

"Refunds cheerfully refused. Store credit only."

And it's true. They are quite cheerful when they refuse refunds. :D

Rapscallion
09-11-2006, 08:13 PM
I remember that strip. :D

I haven't been over to Jennie's board in weeks. I really need to update myself.

We're still going strong. (Hint: I run that forum as well - different site entirely).

Rapscallion

Argabarga
09-16-2006, 04:46 PM
Saw this one awhile back : "Free ride in police car for all shoplifters"

Though you'd have to be pretty ballsy to try it, they were accross the street from the police station.

Rapscallion
09-16-2006, 05:45 PM
Wouldn't be much of a ride, then. Not worth it.

Rapscallion, pouting

KaeZoo
09-16-2006, 07:12 PM
In a convenience store:

" No Smoking. If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. "

In an automotive repair shop:

"Hourly labor: $40
If you watch: $60
If you help: $80"

ArenaBoy
09-16-2006, 08:29 PM
There was a great one at this nursing home I visited: "Be nice to your kids, they pick your nursing homes."

Crosshair
09-17-2006, 05:00 AM
..."Be nice to your kids, they pick your nursing homes."
I keep telling my mom that.:lol:

purplecat41877
09-17-2006, 07:19 AM
Saw this one awhile back : "Free ride in police car for all shoplifters"


The retail job I used to work at had a sign very similar to that. Some of the customers thought it was hilarious.:lol:

El Barto
09-17-2006, 03:35 PM
My Boss put this one up in the office:

"Answers: $1.00
Answers that require thought: $2.00
Correct Answers: $4.00
Dumb looks are still free."

And one our photo lab supervisor made this one and posted it in the lab:

"Photo Lab Motto:
I dont want to and I dont have to"

Our DM found it and we dont have that sign anymore.

Seanette
09-17-2006, 05:59 PM
Sighted at a hobby shop we visited yesterday:
"Shoplifters will be killed and eaten."

Kitten in the box
09-27-2006, 04:04 AM
Our revieving clerk has this sign posted by his office:

I can only be nice to one person a day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow don't look so good either.

This one is a guard dog sign posted at a wreking yard:

I can make it to the front of the yard and back in 10 seconds...can you?

My all time favorite I saw once....a "friendly" way of telling parents to watch their kids by putting the kids in "charge"

Kids please keep your parents with you at all times....
Lost parents please wait for your kids in the lost parent zone.

ZumZum
09-27-2006, 04:52 AM
A coffee house I go to has one that says. "Unattended children will be given a cup of espresso and a kitten."
A shop I go to in New Hope, PA has the child being given a puppy. Love that one.
DS begged me to leave him alone in the store.

Kogarashi
11-09-2006, 10:18 PM
Saw a fun one today at the place where we went to get new tires for our Jeep.

"If you are grouchy, irritable, or just plain mean, there will be a $10.00 charge for putting up with you."

Misty
11-09-2006, 11:47 PM
Sign seen inside a jewelry store on Nantucket:

"Your husband called. He said you can buy whatever you want."

Gravekeeper
11-10-2006, 12:24 AM
The elevator in our office is currently a bit out of whack. The thresholds are uneven, so when you get on or off, the elevator is always a bit lower then the floor. The maintanence guy posted a sign:

"Warning: Uneven Threshold"

and someone from one of the offices ( Not me for once ) added:

"Story of my life"

:D