View Full Version : The Excuse Game

12-28-2009, 06:28 AM
In this game, the current poster will tell the next poster that s/he can/can't do something. The next poster will give an excuse as to why s/he can/can't do as told.:)

Here is an example.

Current poster: You're not allowed to smoke in the store.

Next poster: My grandma said I could.

Now the game shall begin.

I need you to go to the store and buy the tomatoes that I need for my homemade sauce.

12-28-2009, 09:01 AM
I need you to go to the store and buy the tomatoes that I need for my homemade sauce.

Sorry, I've got 2 feet of snow surrounding the van.

I need you to herd the feral cats out of my basement.

Lace Neil Singer
12-28-2009, 09:42 AM
Sorry, I'm allergic to cats.

I need you to go dig a path thru the snow.

12-28-2009, 10:18 AM
Sorry my gloves aren't snow rated.

I need you to plant that tree.

Irving Patrick Freleigh
12-28-2009, 12:06 PM
Sorry, I have dendrophobia (fear of trees).

Please hand me that box over there.

12-28-2009, 01:25 PM
Sorry, my hernia is acting up.

Please go to the store and get me some Ducolax.

12-29-2009, 12:17 AM
Sorry, I'm broke.

I'm hungry. Make me dinner, please.

12-29-2009, 02:30 AM
I can't...its bedtime and the cat ate it anyway.

I need you to give me a massage.

12-29-2009, 02:43 AM
I do apologize but I can't do much of anything right now, what with two broken arms and all.

Be a dear please and hand me the remote control.

Irving Patrick Freleigh
12-29-2009, 02:45 AM
So sorry, but I have no arms, and aren't very good at picking stuff up with my bare feet yet.

Here's ten bucks. Please buy me some more chocolate-covered cherries.

12-29-2009, 02:56 AM
sorry can't....dun like cherries....

be a dear and get me some egg nog.

12-29-2009, 08:34 AM
Sorry it's duck season.

Please fetch me a stick.

12-29-2009, 09:50 AM
Sorry, but all those sticks are Juuuusssssssstttttt out of my reach

But i'd much appreciate for you to pick up the phone that's been ringing.

12-29-2009, 10:31 AM
Sorry but none of my pickup lines worked.

Could you make me a rum and Coke?

12-29-2009, 12:07 PM
Can't do it. The rum's all gone.

Get me my gun.

12-29-2009, 03:10 PM
Sorry I can't, the safety isn't on and we all know what happens when blondes grab guns...

Please be a sweetheart and rub moisturizer all over my butt.

12-29-2009, 03:15 PM
Sorry not going out in this weather. (Water Butt)
Please scrape the ice off

12-29-2009, 05:58 PM
It's too cold to venture outside.... lost the scraper anyway.

...Be a dear and go fetch me some fire wood.

Retail Associate
12-29-2009, 06:41 PM
Can't get you any firewood. The beavers used it all to build their dam.

Will you please tell that idiot next door to turn down his music?

12-29-2009, 07:10 PM
I can't because I washed the front door and can't get out of the house.

Do be a sweetheart and clean my house for me.

12-29-2009, 07:27 PM
I'm sorry the firmen are telling me to keep back.

Would someone fix the hole in my bucket?

12-29-2009, 09:58 PM
Buckets don't get holes, only pails do. Get it right.

You apologize to that Thomson's gazelle right now, young man!

12-29-2009, 10:10 PM
Not until he apologizes first . . .'cuz he started it.:p

How about, since the cats won't do it, take the throw rug out of the dryer and just leave it on top of the dryer and then take the clothes out of the washer and put into the dryer?

12-29-2009, 10:45 PM
Sorry the cat union says it's aprotected job.

Would someone paint my porch please?

12-30-2009, 01:25 AM
The dog next door ate my paintbrush.

Would you please take out the garbage?

Irving Patrick Freleigh
12-30-2009, 01:42 AM
I can't. I can't get a hold of any billy goats.

Comb your damn hair already. It looks like a rat's nest.

12-30-2009, 02:54 AM
I can't, the rats are refusing to move.

Unpack my bags for me, please.

12-30-2009, 05:28 AM
Sorry but customs just said they need to hold them.

... Please wash my dishes.

12-30-2009, 05:32 AM
I'm allergic to soap.

Brush my teeth, please?

Retail Associate
12-30-2009, 06:53 AM
There's no need for that...you brushed them last week.

I've lost my mind. Can you help me find it?

12-30-2009, 12:41 PM
can't its on vacation with mine.

go clean my parents house for me.

12-30-2009, 08:26 PM
I don't know where they live.

Find homes for all my Christmas presents.

12-31-2009, 01:53 AM
Sorry. I'm too busy finding homes for my Christmas AND birthday presents.

Be a dear and get me a pack of sugarless gum, please.

Ironclad Alibi
12-31-2009, 07:59 PM
Sorry, all I can find is ABC gum.

Please speak louder. I can't hear you.

12-31-2009, 08:41 PM
Sorry, I have laryngitis.

Will you make me some dinner, please?

12-31-2009, 10:17 PM
Sorry but the FDA has deemed me "Unfit to cook"

...Can you itch that spot there on my back... I just cant quite reach

01-01-2010, 03:29 PM
Sorry, my mittens are too thick & soft to be effective scratchers.

Can you take that old fridge out back to the tip for me please?

Ironclad Alibi
01-01-2010, 04:57 PM
Sorry, but my back just went out.

Will you bring me another beer?

01-01-2010, 08:35 PM
Sorry, all we have left is Zima.

Will you wake me up a tad earlier tomorrow morning..?

01-01-2010, 08:42 PM
Sorry, I'm already gonna be at work.

Will you please take my shift for me?

01-01-2010, 11:50 PM
can't...they fired me last week, for back talking to the SCs.

be a dear and finish the last 6 boxes of inventory for me.

01-01-2010, 11:52 PM
No! I don't work here!

Would you bring me back some chocolate?

01-02-2010, 12:00 AM
can't its to cold.

be a dear and do the laundry

01-02-2010, 03:33 AM
Sorry but the washer machine broke and buying a new one will max out the credit cards.

Would you spot me the cash for the new washer?

01-02-2010, 02:58 PM
Can't. I've misplaced my pants.

Will you be a sweetheart and clean the litterboxes for me?

01-02-2010, 06:21 PM
Sorry . . .but the dog is full from cleaning out mine earlier.

Be a dear and help me replace this door boot on my washing machine (it's the round gray rubber ring that goes around the washtub in a front load Maytag Neptune, BTW.)

01-02-2010, 06:24 PM
Oops, sorry, I loaned it to the cat to go swimming with & he left it at the pool!

Can someone dig me out of this 2 foot snowdrift please?

Ironclad Alibi
01-02-2010, 07:49 PM
Sorry, I don't dig snowdrifts under six feet.

Will someone build me a mountain for my train layout?

01-03-2010, 12:43 AM
Sorry I'm using my mountain for my Divine Comedy model.

Hey can you pass me the red paint?

01-03-2010, 05:54 PM
I can't--it's all been used.

Bathe the virgin and bring her to me.

01-03-2010, 06:32 PM
Once I'm done bathing her, she won't be a virgin anymore.

Please sir, can I have another?

01-03-2010, 06:43 PM
I work for a living, don't call me sir.

Could you spit roast the pig please?

01-03-2010, 08:32 PM
Sorry, but I've got a chest cold so I don't think you want me to spit on the pig right now.

Be a dear and go to work for me tomorrow so I don't have to go out in the cold air.

01-03-2010, 08:50 PM
I can't make any promises. There are snow flurries here and I might not be able to drive by then.

Will you put away the Christmas decorations for me?

01-03-2010, 10:23 PM
I'm sorry corporate have told us to leave them in place for next season.

Please shoot corporate for me?

01-03-2010, 10:40 PM
I'm not allowed gun privileges . . . sorry.

Would you finish cleaning up the kitchen for me and then give me a sponge bath?

Lace Neil Singer
01-04-2010, 06:21 PM
Sorry, I'm suffering from "couldn't give a toss" syndrome, so no chance.

Go and get me a sandwich and a coffee, bitch.

01-04-2010, 06:24 PM
Sorry, I can't. got locked in the loo!

Can someone muck out my guineapigs please? They don't bite, honestly :)

01-04-2010, 07:48 PM
Sorry, Court order can't touch animals that are smaller then 15 pounds.

Can you give me a Coffee Enema?

01-05-2010, 12:49 AM
Sorry . . . I drank the last of the coffee this morning before work.

Be a dear and go fix the icemaker in the freezer. . .

01-05-2010, 12:53 AM
Sorry, I lost my hands trying to fix the lawn mower.

Hey, hand me a tissue, would'ya?

01-05-2010, 01:01 AM
I used up all the Kleenex . . .here's a wad of toilet paper.

How about finding something good on tv for me to watch . . .

01-05-2010, 01:04 AM
There's a great show on the Food Network tonight. Unfortunately, the cable company dropped that channel...Sorry.

Would someone escort me to the ball?

01-05-2010, 06:58 AM
Sorry, Snowed in this morning!

Can someone go dig the UPS van out for me please, I want my delivery!

01-05-2010, 10:29 PM
No, I'm boycotting UPS. Fedex only.

Can you get me some milk?

01-05-2010, 11:42 PM
Sorry the Cows, Goats, and yaks are all on strike.

Would you keep an eye on the kids so i can be with the adults?

01-10-2010, 01:31 AM
Sorry . . .I have a headache . . .

Be a dear and go clean up the kitchen for me . . .

01-10-2010, 01:57 AM
I can't, I'm allergic to food.

Can you please turn up the heat?

01-10-2010, 02:20 AM
Sorry, too cheap to turn it up.

Can you mow the lawn for me?

01-10-2010, 02:31 AM
No, I don't do lawn mowing.

(Seriously, I've done it exactly once in my life.)

Can I have a snack?

01-10-2010, 08:21 AM
Sorry, Scooby ate them all.

Can I go back to bed?

01-10-2010, 02:04 PM
NO! I just made the damn thing, and I'm not making it again!
(By the way, we need to talk about what I found under your mattress.)

Will you prick my boil?


01-10-2010, 02:10 PM
Ah, sorry, can't do that. The last time someone asked that I sort of got the words muddled up & .....

Can you give me a piggy back to the take-away place please?

01-10-2010, 03:20 PM
No, the piggy has a bad back. Sorry.

Will you do my laundry?

01-10-2010, 03:32 PM
Sorry I don't swing that way...

Would you pick my nose please?

01-10-2010, 03:59 PM
I can't, I lost the catalog.

Take me to the river...

01-10-2010, 09:31 PM
Sorry it's frozen and I'm allergic to ice.

Could you please keep me company while I unpacking and organize my room?

01-11-2010, 12:37 AM
Sorry . . . I'm allergic to dust and I'm not organized at all . . .

Would you go to work for me tomorrow?

01-11-2010, 12:50 AM
Sorry I have my Canadian Lit class at that time.

Can you help me figure out what part of my room I should work on next?!

01-11-2010, 09:56 PM
Can't. I don't have the figure for it.

Will you mop my kitchen floor and vacuum the living room and dining room?

01-11-2010, 10:03 PM
Sorry I left my vacuum in another province. (this is sadly true)

Would you take care of me while I'm sick this evening?

01-11-2010, 10:08 PM
Can't. Too far to walk and I've not had my shots yet.

How about changing my clothes for me? I'm too tired to get into my jammies by myself.

01-11-2010, 10:18 PM
You really don't want that. My dolls always had their clothes on backwards.

Bring me a shrubbery!

01-12-2010, 12:07 AM
Sorry, I can't. Some bloody bastard chopped my arms and legs off.

Would you be so kind as to pick me up and move me under that nice big shade tree over there?

01-12-2010, 12:08 AM
can't, I need it for firewood.

do be a dear and finish cleaning my house for me.

01-12-2010, 12:13 AM
Sorry . . . I can't rent a backhoe at the last minute so I can dig it out.:p

How about taking my clothes to the laundromat so I don't have to . . .

01-12-2010, 02:24 AM
Sorry . . . I can't rent a backhoe at the last minute so I can dig it out.:p

gonna steal your line....

be a dear and knock me senseless so I can sleep tonight.

01-12-2010, 05:44 AM
Sorry, last time I did that at someone's request, I ended up in prison for 3 years on an assault charge.

See that duffle bag over there that's about 5 1/2 feet long? Would you take it somewhere about 30 or so miles out of town, and bury it for me?
(Be careful you don't throw your back out when you lift it. It weighs about 150 Lbs.)

01-12-2010, 12:56 PM
Sure, but I have a chip that shocks me when I'm about to unknowingly do something illeg..OW!
..... No can do.

Could you make me some soup. Sick people aren't supposed to go to the kitchen.

01-13-2010, 02:20 PM
Sorry, my can opener broke & I've run out of pans.

Can someone find my cosy slipper booties for me please.. my toes are cold :(

Irving Patrick Freleigh
01-13-2010, 10:23 PM
Have you been drinking again? Your feet were chopped off in that accident with the combine, remember?

Or wait, am I thinking about somebody else? Anyhow, I can't.

Go fetcheth me my bottle of Dr. McGillicuddy's Lemon drop and a can of Coke, mmkay?

01-13-2010, 11:27 PM
No. I want to bring back Prohibition, so I can't in good conscience bring you alcohol.

Fetch my slippers, would you?

Irving Patrick Freleigh
01-14-2010, 02:39 AM
Oh, that's right, you're the one who lost her feet to the combine. So you have no use for slippers, you silly.

Now get off mah lawn.

Andrew B.
01-14-2010, 06:06 AM
I can't. I have to document this new species of beetle.

Could you get my microscope?

01-15-2010, 07:51 AM
Sorry its too small to find.

Get my boots repaired please?

01-16-2010, 10:08 PM
Sorry . . . I only shoe horses.

How about cooking dinner for me . . . I'm too lazy to get off the bed and put the laptop down long enough to do it myself.:p

01-17-2010, 07:51 AM
Sorry, I'm already snuggled in bed & have no intention of getting up yet.

Can someone bring me coffee & breakfast please?

01-17-2010, 01:03 PM
Sorry on the coffee, just ran out.
However, I did fix you up a nice steak and egg sandwich, with melted Swiss on Sourdough, and handed it to the dog, and told him to take to you. He didn't bring it in to you? :confused: :mad:

Can somebody help me look for the dog?

01-17-2010, 04:15 PM
<opens door only enough to poke head out> Sorry, I am allergic to dogs. :blink: <closes door>

Could you pick me up some dog chow? For my, um, neighbor. Yeah.

01-17-2010, 08:32 PM
Computer says no.

Can you make my computer say yes?

01-17-2010, 09:26 PM
oops, sorry.. just accidentally formatted it by mistake :(

Can you get a good nights sleep for me.. its bedtime but I'd rather play games!

01-17-2010, 10:01 PM
oops, sorry.. just accidentally formatted it by mistake :(

Can you get a good nights sleep for me.. its bedtime but I'd rather play games!

Can't . . . I've got to go help with dinner but I'd rather stay online . . .:(

How about taking my place in the kitchen and you can fetch for my Mom . . .

02-17-2010, 02:18 AM
Can't, my doctor says I'm allergic to cooking.

Say! How bout you make me food for the rest of eternity!

02-21-2010, 08:40 PM
Sorry, I have a horrible food phobia.

Hey could you get my IV hooked up so I don't die?

02-21-2010, 09:42 PM
Sorry, can't find a vein.

Can you make me some soup?

02-22-2010, 03:58 AM
I'm sorry I blew up the stove last week.

Can you buy us a new one?

02-22-2010, 06:48 PM
Sorry, it should be in the mail.

Hey, mind goin to work for me?

02-28-2010, 03:46 AM
Can't. I have no mind to go to work with.

How about putting a DVD in the player for me so I don't have to get up?

02-28-2010, 03:48 AM
No, cuz then I'd have to get up and that's not happening.

Will you please take my plague?

02-28-2010, 05:13 AM
Ohhhh sorry, that's classified.

Hey, I need you to pay my rent for me.

02-28-2010, 08:09 AM
Sorry,, just frittered the rent money away on little luxuries.

Can you go put that cover on the duvet for me?

02-28-2010, 04:49 PM
Um, I started to, but I fell asleep.

Fetch the paper for me.

03-01-2010, 03:45 PM
I can't. There's wolves after me.

Cover my six hour shift for me, please.

03-01-2010, 07:37 PM
Sorry, I have no voice so I can't talk to customers. (This is actually true.)

Take a nap for me since I can't fall asleep?

03-02-2010, 01:45 AM
No can do right now. I gotta pee . . . :p

How about going to the bathroom and peeing for me and grab me another Banana Pudding donut from the kitchen on the way back?

03-02-2010, 02:07 AM
Oooooh sorry but I hate banana pudding and peeing.

How bout you fix my car for me?

03-02-2010, 02:19 AM
i would...but the penguins took my tools

yeah...so i'm gonna need you to move all of our furniture out of my second floor apartment and into the bed of a truck

03-02-2010, 04:49 AM
Sorry back problems.

Could you please give me a back massage. PLEASE

03-02-2010, 02:09 PM
i would but...leprosy. no hands. so sorry!

farmboy! fetch me that pitcher

03-03-2010, 01:44 AM
Sorry but I'm on a strict jug diet.

Hey go get that remote of the coffee table wouldja?

03-03-2010, 04:40 AM
Sorry But I'm handcuffed to the couch

Could you find me the key?

03-15-2010, 02:15 AM
Sorry . . . one of the dogs accidentally ate it. It might come back after while in the dog lot . . .

How about going to work for me tomorrow and run my backstock and listen to Snoopy whine for an hour and a half about how nobody likes him and we're not doing enough to tell everybody about the new lower prices . . . .

Andrew B.
06-15-2010, 06:43 PM
Sorry, I'd rather keep my sanity.

Could you help me corral a group of cats?

06-15-2010, 07:20 PM
Sorry. I think I have rabies. Wouldn't be a good idea.

Give me a motivational speech, please.

(wow, I forgot all about this game..!)

06-17-2010, 07:35 AM
Ooh...I'd love to, but last time I tried to do that there were six attempted suicides.

Hey, could you help me fix this iPod?

06-17-2010, 06:24 PM
Sorry I only know how to fix the ones that were sold in 2007.

Will you help me pack?

06-17-2010, 06:29 PM
Sure! I'll do it the easy way by just teleporting it. However, it's going to take a few centries to learn the spell. Just hang tight ok?

Help me beat this game of tic tac toe!

06-17-2010, 07:03 PM
Ummm sorry, don't know how to play!

Can you unburn my dinner for me please?

06-17-2010, 09:52 PM
I'd love to, but I broke my aluminum-and-cardboard time machine.
Or do what my mother did, and scrape the burnt toast until you see white again.

Can someone feed my husband? It's such a hassle...

06-18-2010, 01:12 AM
I tried, but he just keeps crying and the airplane game just isn't working.

Sort out all these papers for me, will you?

06-20-2010, 02:56 AM
I'd like to but I lost all my organization objects.

Could you watch my brother's ferret so he can come on vacation too?

06-20-2010, 04:01 AM
No, I'm too busy sorting out papers.

Can you do my grocery shopping tomorrow?

Andrew B.
06-21-2010, 04:55 AM
Sorry, I don't have a car.

Can you get me a new stylus for my DS?

06-21-2010, 08:32 PM
Sure! Let me just make a reminder in my DS....wait....wheres my stylus? I can't use my finger!

Can you make the baby shower desserts for me?

06-21-2010, 10:06 PM
Sure...but this (http://www.cakewrecks.com/2008/07/first-censored-cake-wreck.html) is what it'll look like...still interested?

Can you get me a bigger boat?

Rantsylvania 6-5000
06-22-2010, 10:26 AM
Sorry, we're sold out.

Can you make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

06-22-2010, 08:47 PM
Sorry, I just finished up the last of the peanut butter and jelly.

Will you please clean the peanut butter and jelly off of my keyboard and mouse, while I go wash my hands, and face, and change my shirt?

06-22-2010, 11:35 PM
No, I'm peanut-phobic.

What can I eat instead?

Andrew B.
06-29-2010, 11:02 AM
Sorry, I don't feel like cooking right now.

Can you get me some pie tins?

06-29-2010, 11:45 PM
Here you go...lotsa tie pins (http://www.google.com/products?q=tie+pins&rls=com.microsoft:en-us&oe=UTF-8&rlz=1I7ADRA_en&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=NoUqTPv0FcGqlAfzoemUAw&sa=X&oi=product_result_group&ct=title&resnum=3&ved=0CEwQrQQwAg)!

Why do birds suddenly appear?

Andrew B.
06-30-2010, 06:14 AM
Sorry, but you're in the wrong thread for this.

Could someone guide Bookstore Escapee to the correct thread?

06-30-2010, 07:55 PM
Sorry I was just in that thread and don't like to back track.

Would you drive me home from work?

06-30-2010, 10:44 PM
Sorry. Apparently I'm lost.

Can you go down to FL and beat my money out of Ex? I'll give you a percentage...

07-01-2010, 02:35 AM
Love to but can't . . . gotta work all weekend.

Swap places with me? I've got to get an order sent off to the warehouse before 3 pm Sunday so I can get it on Tuesday and we have Inventory on Wednesday, so you'll have to fill in for me all week dealing with vendor deliveries, trying to ready the security room for the high theft backstock, and stocking out health/beauty aids/specialty merchandise before the Inventory crew gets here and then on Wednesday while they're counting, help out Ma with the price changes for the ad?

07-01-2010, 08:01 AM
Sorry, just remembered I have to err.... ummm... ah, count my toes today.

Can someone pack my gym bag for me please?

07-02-2010, 01:20 AM
No. I don't like the gym.

Fix me some dessert?

Irving Patrick Freleigh
07-02-2010, 02:02 AM
Nekkid ninjas don't make desserts for other people. They do...nekkid ninja things.

Gimme the name of that comely young lass over there. :waggle:

07-03-2010, 05:23 AM
Sorry I'm horrible with names

Will you help me organize my comic collection?

Andrew B.
07-03-2010, 12:33 PM
No, I'd rather read them.

Could you loan me $20 for a new game?

07-03-2010, 07:08 PM
Sorry, I spent my last $20.00 on (losing :cry: ) lottery tickets.

Would you loan me $20.00 for more lottery tickets?
(If I win the big jackpot on Mega-Millions, I'll pay you back the $20.00 right away, plus another $20.00 as a thank you!)

07-03-2010, 07:36 PM
Sorry, Ex has all my money.

Go get my money.

07-03-2010, 09:28 PM
sorry can't, have to go to work in half an hour.

someone go to work for me?

07-04-2010, 01:52 AM
Sorry. I'm still trying to find someone to go to work for me all week . . .

How about in the meantime hauling out these two old desktop computers and the old laptop so I don't have ask the obnoxious ex?

Andrew B.
07-09-2010, 06:32 PM
Sorry, I have to... polish my dog.

He's a terrier, you understand.

Could you get me the polish?

07-09-2010, 11:06 PM
Sorry, all out of polish.

Have TONS of bratwurst though, will that do?


Would you wait on that sucky customer over there for me?

07-10-2010, 01:12 AM
Sure, I'll wait right here while you help them. (Bad foot, you see...can't walk over there.)

Will you get me some ice cream?

07-10-2010, 03:29 AM
sorry dear I'm off the clock, I only serve ice cream during work.

Can someone grab me my brand new sexy boots?

07-11-2010, 12:40 AM
Sorry my hands are covered in paint from painting my room.

Can someone give some soap?

07-11-2010, 04:06 AM
Sorry. I handed it to Irv, but he dropped it.:p

How about helping me out with writer's block?

07-11-2010, 07:51 PM
Sorry, I just had a brain fart, and forgot what my reply to you was going to be.

Speaking of brains, could you hand me the Brain Bleach, so I can get the image out of my mind, as to what happened to poor Irv when he dropped the soap? :runaway:

07-11-2010, 10:08 PM
Sorry . . . I . . .uh . . . used all the brain bleach in the laundry.:p

How about tearing my bed apart and swapping out dust ruffles?

07-11-2010, 10:27 PM
Sorry...I'm allergic to ruffles.

Can you get me a glass of water?

07-11-2010, 11:01 PM
Can't. I has no glasses to see with.:p

Who wants to go clean up the kitchen from where Mom cooked dinner earlier?

Andrew B.
07-13-2010, 12:21 PM
I can't. My toaster escaped and I have to go catch it.

Could someone loan me some rope I can use? Or maybe some steel cable instead?

07-13-2010, 10:50 PM
Sorry, no time to right now. I found this toaster wandering around, looking rather emaciated, as if it had hoofed across half the U.S. No collar and tags. Took it in and had it scanned, no chip. So, I'm gonna keep it and pop some bread into it and toast me up some tasty toast and slather it in Nut........Awwwww CRAP! All out!


Do you have a jar of Nutella you could lend me until, I get to the store the next time?

07-14-2010, 02:56 AM
Sorry I actually finished all the Nutella this afternoon.

Could lend me some gas money?

Irving Patrick Freleigh
07-14-2010, 03:03 AM
Sorry. No money. Here's some gas. *farts*

Would somebody please make Mel Gibson stop yelling at me? :cry:

07-17-2010, 11:40 PM
Sorry . . . I'm having to chase down Ducky before he starts another autopsy . . .:p

Can somebody plug my cell phone in to charge so I don't have to get off the bed?

Andrew B.
07-18-2010, 06:08 PM
Sorry, I have to get my toaster back from JustACashier.

Could someone loan me some bus fare?

07-19-2010, 01:47 AM

Nice try!! I wire you the dough, and you trace it back to find out where I live!


Could somebody loan me some money, to get myself and my new found toaster into the Toaster and Owner Relocation and Identity Protection Program? :beam: :help:

07-19-2010, 06:25 AM
Sorry, the TORIPP will not allow me contact because they are hiding a toaster from me.

Could you take my MagaSafe adapter to an Apple Store so I could get a free replacement?

07-19-2010, 11:03 PM
No, my fan died and I have to go get another.

Will you go get me a new fan?

07-20-2010, 06:41 AM
Sorry I'm busy trying to fix my computer.

Will you help BSE and I get all our computer parts?

07-21-2010, 12:17 AM
Sorry I'm busy trying to fix my computer.

Will you help BSE and I get all our computer parts?

*not computer fan, fan fan. too hot in the room. :D*

07-21-2010, 03:15 AM
I'm sorry but i'm collecting all the fans and AC so that I may be cool.

Could you sign for my package so I can get some sleep?

07-21-2010, 07:06 AM
Sorry I've forgotten my name.

Can you go & stand on the scales for me at slimming class today please, I don't wanna go coz I've been eating bad stuff this week :(

07-21-2010, 07:48 AM
Sorry I've forgotten my name.

Can you go & stand on the scales for me at slimming class today please, I don't wanna go coz I've been eating bad stuff this week :(

Sorry but I when I work I only eat candy so I probably weigh more than you right now.

Will you help me put up new posters?

07-22-2010, 02:48 PM
Sorry, as much as I welcome new members to CS, with a one bedroom apartment, I just don't have the room to put any of them up.

A Hostel, perhaps?


Would you go over to my incontinent Grandmother's house and do her laundry for her?

(She'll probably bake you some bacon wrapped cookies!)

Andrew B.
07-22-2010, 08:07 PM
Would you go over to my incontinent Grandmother's house and do her laundry for her?

(She'll probably bake you some bacon wrapped cookies!)

Sorry, I need to adopt a new toaster.

Could someone help me with housetraining it?

07-25-2010, 01:31 AM
Sorry. I'm still trying to house train the microwave and the cell phone.

Will you bring me a glass of wine please?

07-25-2010, 03:17 AM
Sorry. *hic* We're, um, all outta glasses.

Will someone come and fan me while I sleep?

07-25-2010, 02:13 PM
s.....o.....r.....r.....y b.....o.....t.....h a.....r.....m.....s b.....r.....o.....k.....e.....n. [.....t.....y.....p.....i.....n.....g w.....i.....t.....h p.....e.....n.....c.....i.....l i.....n m.....o.....u.....t.....h.....]

s.....c.....r.....a.....t.....c.....h m.....y b.....a.....c.....k.... p.....l.....s...../...../...../...../ :headdesk:

07-25-2010, 05:43 PM
Can't. I broke a nail. :(

Someone turn down the heat outside, please?

07-26-2010, 07:17 AM
Sadly I am not God.

Could you make sure my coworkers sign out of the computer so there aren't any hiccups in my work?

07-26-2010, 09:52 PM
Someone turn down the heat outside, please?

Hey! Somebody did it! It went from 90s to 70 in about 20 minutes yesterday after a good rain! :D

Could you make sure my coworkers sign out of the computer so there aren't any hiccups in my work?

Sorry but I don't know how to sign out.

Can someone go to the gym and do my workout for me?

07-26-2010, 10:00 PM
Sorry, I was hoping you'd go & do mine!

Can you go find my motivation & send it home please? Its been AWOL for weeks.

07-26-2010, 11:58 PM
Can't. Mine ran off and eloped with yours. Last I heard they were expecting . . .something.:p

Would anyone like to volunteer to go to work in my place tomorrow so I can stay home and catch up on my fanfic writing?

07-27-2010, 12:23 AM
Sorry, but SCII is coming out tonight and I'll be busy.

Can you bring me a box of Hot Pockets and 2 2 liters of Diet Coke?

07-27-2010, 06:54 AM
Sorry, already spent my grocery money this week.

Can you come and stop my boy from pacing the floor waiting for Starcraft II to be delivered?

07-28-2010, 11:24 AM
Sorry, I'm playing SCII right now :P

Can you get my cat to stop running around the room?

07-30-2010, 07:37 AM
I'm out of catnip. Otherwise, I would.

Can someone tell me why I didn't refresh the page before posting?

07-30-2010, 07:45 AM
I wish I could but my brain left home coz I made it read about to many stupid SCs :cry:

Can someone please go find my brain & ask it to come back to me? Pretty please???

07-30-2010, 03:35 PM
Sorry! *....pant....pant...* Can't catch *....wheeze....* it! Too far *....pant....pant....* ahead, running too *....wheeze....* fast! Can hear it ....*pant....pant....* it screaming "too damn many S.C's!" *....wheeze....*


*....wheeeze......* Albuterol *.....wheeze....* Please! *....wheeze....*

07-30-2010, 03:40 PM
*....wheeeze......* Albuterol *.....wheeze....* Please! *....wheeze....*

Actually, I still have my inhaler from when I had borderline pneumonia. You're welcome to it...but, uh, you'll have to come get it.

While you're here, will you vacuum my apartment for me?

08-01-2010, 09:23 PM
Sorry. I have a fear of vacuum cleaners. They suck.

How about helping me to decide which story I want to finish up this coming week?

Andrew B.
08-09-2010, 07:06 AM
Sorry, but I have no idea what you're reading/writing.

Could you get me a preorder the new Valkyria Chronicles game?

08-09-2010, 07:32 AM
Er, i totally would, but i'm in the middle of reading a thread.

Can someone tell me what that game is?

08-09-2010, 07:35 AM
I would, but the Men In Black said I am not allowed to.

Somebody, anybody buy the company I work for..as long as you have at least two brain cells to rub together.

08-09-2010, 05:24 PM
I would, but the Men In Black said I am not allowed to.

Somebody, anybody buy the company I work for..as long as you have at least two brain cells to rub together.

Unfortunately, I only have 1 and a half brain cells to rub together...my cat ate the other half of brain cell.

Can someone go give my hairy beer-bellied drunken grandfather a spongebath? Remember to get into those little nooks n' crannies, and he really likes it when you get between his toes with your fingers. :devil:

08-14-2010, 09:50 PM
No, just... no.

Would someone shut off the Sun for me?

08-14-2010, 09:56 PM
I would, but its dark here already.

Can someone take these very nice mints away before I eat them all please?

08-14-2010, 11:00 PM

No...I don't see any mints...

Can you pick me up some dinner..

08-15-2010, 01:02 AM
Sorry, can't do. I ate it already.:p


Can someone bring me some dessert, please?

08-15-2010, 01:13 AM
*licks bottom of pudding cup*

Sorry, none left.

Can someone replace my radiator please?

08-15-2010, 09:26 AM
I would, but I am having my hair dyed neon green.

Somebody find out that thing about that thing? You know that thing?

08-15-2010, 03:58 PM
No, I hate that thing.

Get me some Advil for my head please?

Andrew B.
08-16-2010, 02:02 PM
Sorry, I took the last two earlier.

Could you give me a ride so I can get some more?

08-16-2010, 03:02 PM
Sorry, no car. Wouldn't have time to anyway. Too busy making toast.


Could somebody towel all the sweat off of me? We've been in the 90's F. the last few days.

(Oh, and I'd bet Bunnyboy would appreciate the same, he can't be much more than 20-30 minutes from me. So, bring two towels please!)

08-21-2010, 03:14 AM
Sorry. All the towels are in the wash.

How about cleaning up the kitchen for me?

08-21-2010, 03:17 AM
Sorry. Too overwhelming. Wouldn't know where to start.

Bring me a shrubbery!

08-21-2010, 03:27 AM
I'm sorry, I just Ni'd the Shrubber in the face. (Hoping I got the reference right)

With the day I've had, I'm going to need a bottle of liquor and a pretty girl. Please?

08-22-2010, 02:35 AM
Sorry *burp* all the liquor's gone and so are all the pretty girls.

How about going to work for me all next week?

Andrew B.
10-02-2010, 07:11 PM
Sadly, I've been very sick.

Could you get me some 7-up and some saltines?

10-04-2010, 11:10 PM
Sorry. I used up all the 7-up to make Slow Gin Fizzes . . . and the saltines we needed afterwards to help with the queasies.:p

How would you like a day of fun and adventure at my store helping to work down a pallet and a half of health/beauty aids/specialty merchandise?:wave:

10-08-2010, 05:42 AM
Sorry, I have a bad back and can't lift more than 5lbs.

Would you possibly be willing to help me move my cast-iron furniture tomorrow?

10-10-2010, 01:02 AM
Sorry, no can do. Three doctors, two MRI's, two bone spurs in my neck and a slipped cervical disc all say NO.

How about cleaning up the kitchen for me so I don't have to do it tonight?

10-16-2010, 05:38 AM
sorry have a furchild that is taking up my entire lap, and being to cute to make me want to move him.

come make some chicken soup for me so I can feel better?

10-16-2010, 02:03 PM
Sorry. I fried up all the chicken last night and had it for dinner. It was pretty good, too.:p

How about making me a pot of coffee?

10-16-2010, 06:35 PM
Nah, I don't like coffee.

Take my cold away, please.

10-17-2010, 01:03 AM
Can't. I'm already constipated and don't need to be stopped up at both ends.:(

How about cleaning out the big building for me tomorrow afternoon? I've got 3 vintage stereos, 2 pairs of speakers, an old handmade cabinet and a old refrigerator to set out on the side of the road that I don't need anymore.

10-22-2010, 08:41 AM
I can't, but I can think of an easy solution for you in the meantime... *leans his head out the window* Hey! Free stuff at the big building! Door's wide open!

Speaking of easy solutions, anyone out there got a quick one for hydrochloric acid? The neighbor got on my nerves again and he could use a missing finger.

10-24-2010, 01:32 AM
I can't, but I can think of an easy solution for you in the meantime... *leans his head out the window* Hey! Free stuff at the big building! Door's wide open!

All that stuff made it out to the side of the road and was all cleared out by nightfall. That's one thing I can always count on my neighbors for.:lol:

Speaking of easy solutions, anyone out there got a quick one for hydrochloric acid? The neighbor got on my nerves again and he could use a missing finger.

Sorry . . . I've heard it's been stockpiled just in case our store manager makes it back from vacation tomorrow. . .

And if for some reason he "disappears", I know nothing. :whistle:

How about hauling out some furniture from the office for me? I need to store the tv, a vintage stereo system and 4 speakers out in the building as well as a box of books. Everything else can go to the side of the road on the little hill for the neighbors to help themselves to.:p

12-22-2010, 08:21 AM
No can do, the termites are in winter hibernation.

Speaking of winter, anybody willing to help me get rid of all the snow on the sidewalks?

12-22-2010, 06:34 PM
Hell no!

Why should I do that when I already wrecked my back shoveling the snow from the street to the sidewalk?


Anybody got a couple of Doan's Backache Pills they can spare?

I'm fresh out and my back's killin' me!

12-23-2010, 02:20 PM
Sorry, I used all mine as some [] shoveled a lot of snow into my sidewalk!


Can somebody be Santa for all kids in my town?

12-23-2010, 02:32 PM
Sorry, shaved my long white beard off yesterday, it kept tickling my nose.

Can someone come and find my sofa under all the assorted crap that seems to have been dumped on it please?

01-07-2011, 08:29 PM
Sorry, the sofa is no longer there as it melted due to all crap that was on it.

Can somebody tell the cable network to stop transmitting all that crap?

01-09-2011, 08:20 PM
Sorry . . .I'm dealing with cold temps and more snow on the way right now.:p

How about asking Mother Nature for me to please divert the snow system elsewhere so we don't get any more tomorrow and also to make the temperature warmer outside? 33 degrees is simply too chilly to deal with for a high temp.

03-21-2011, 11:52 PM
Sorry, no. It's Spring so you're not supposed to have snow anymore.


This thread hasn't been posted on in over two months. Would you kindly post something here in order to bump it up?

03-22-2011, 08:35 AM
Sorry, I can't, i'm away this week.

Can someone please come and help me pack all these boxes I got volunteered to do? ;)

03-26-2011, 10:52 AM
Sorry, can't do. I haven't volunteered.

Is anybody willing to share my happiness?

03-26-2011, 02:09 PM
I am sorry I can't I am a dis-gruntled hotel employee.

Would someone please help me trace all the wiring for the computers?

03-28-2011, 02:03 AM
Sorry, no can do. . .I'm all out of tracing paper.:p

Could someone please get the last load of laundry out of the dryer and fold them for me?

03-28-2011, 08:23 AM
Ah, sorry, no can do, haven't had breakfast yet.

Can someone nip into the kitchen & get me a big bowl of choc stars cereal please? :love:

Andrew B.
03-28-2011, 08:58 AM
Sadly, I just finished off the last portion.

Could you run out and get some more?

HappyFun Ball
03-31-2011, 08:44 PM
Sorry, my car is all out of gas

Can you give my dog a bath?

04-10-2011, 01:20 AM
Sorry, my car is all out of gas

Can you give my dog a bath?

Sorry, my bath ran out of dog last time I tried to . . .

Can someone turn off the water outside? It sounds just like it's still raining. . .

04-10-2011, 08:08 AM
:devil: nope! my clothes ain't done.

Can someone strangle my upstairs neighbors for me?

04-10-2011, 08:10 AM
Sorry my license to kill only covers disembowelment.

Can somebody give me more energy?

04-10-2011, 08:13 AM
sorry, you're a diesel model, and now everything's electric or nuclear.

Can someone defragment my harddrive?

04-10-2011, 08:16 AM
I would but people have told me that breaking them into little fragments is not considered defragmenting.

Eww it smells like a skunk in here, somebody come get the smell out of here!

04-10-2011, 08:19 AM
okay! *tosses complainer out of the room*

arg, I need these boxes and boxes of files put away in the next half hour, by second-letter alphabetizing on the men, fourth on the women. Can someone help?

04-11-2011, 01:37 AM
Sorry . . . I'm all out of Alpha-Bits.:p

Could somebody clean up the kitchen for me and set up my coffee pot for in the morning? I use the carafe on the right (it's a dual carafe maker, BTW.)

06-03-2011, 09:48 PM
sorry dear, the smell off coffee makes me sick to my belly. I'm rather sure that I would just make the mess in your kitchen worse.

Could someone help me get my university to speed up their acceptance policy?