View Full Version : The Stupid of the Day

08-09-2010, 02:31 AM
I don't always get a Stupid of the Day. Ordinary stupid does not count. Calling me when you really want the Pharmacy Board, or the Dental Board, or the county medical examiner's office, or the Pizza Hut in Waxahachie, does not count. Calling because you haven't checked your application online but want to bug me about whether you're still missing any papers, however annoying, does not count. Calling because you failed to read the (fairly simple!) instructions, answered questions wrong, and now have to jump through a bunch of hoops to get out of trouble.... Well, it makes me wonder how you passed your exams, and whether we can institute a "common sense" requirement before issuing your license... but this is all everyday stupid and does not a Stupid of the Day make.

Yesterday I was blessed enough to encounter not one, but two phone calls that sent me running to my coworker's cube to share the joy.

Stupid Woman: is trying to renew her boss's permit for him (already a no-no) and can't find it online....

Me: Do you have our website up?
SW: Yep
Me: Okay, please look on the left-hand bar for a link that says "Register/Renew your license."
SW: I don't see it.
Me: It's on the blue bar, on the left, third link down.
SW: There's no bar.
Me: Are you on our website? It's abc.stateagency.usa
SW: No, I searched for that, but I don't see any blue bar. It says "Blah, blah, blah, blah" (all titles for pages on our website, but none of them are listed together in the way she's reading)
Me: There's no searching, just go to our website at abc.stateagency.usa and look on the left-hand side.
SW: No, I DID that!
Me: Okay, look for the link that says....

Lather, Rinse, Repeat a few times until I realize that she's typing our website into GOOGLE and hoping by chance that one of the search results will be a direct link to the license registration.

Cue a few more repetitions of me trying to explain the difference between a search engine and a website browser address bar. And when she finally has it....

Me: Okay, NOW click on the left-hand side where it says "Register/Renew your license."
SW: (huffy) I've already done that.
Me: Okay, now click on (type of license).
SW: No, it's purple, I've already DONE all this!
Me: Then you have it.
SW: No, I don't, because there's nothing useful!
Me: Okay, so click on (type of license).
SW: Okay, fine..... *sigh* No, I've already done all this!
Me: Right, so you have the registration site, then.
SW: It's only one page, and there's no form. I've already DONE this!
Me: You have to read everything on the page.... (please don't make it this obvious that you're incompetent...)
SW: There's no form. It just says "Blah blah blah..."
Me: After you've read everything, there's a link at the bottom that says "Read the Guidelines to continue." Do you see it there?
SW: Yeah, but I've already clicked there before, too! There's no form! I've DONE all this already!
Me: So you have to read the information on this page, and then you see at the bottom where it says "Click Continue"?
SW: *huge sigh* All right, so this is it?
Me: Right, just get your boss to go to this page and fill the form out. He'll make payment electronically at the end.

Cue an explanation that it consitutes a violation of the law if she were to submit the registration form for her boss, as one of the checkboxes requires that she swear she is the person to whom the license belongs.

Cue a few more repetitions that, no, it doesn't matter if he's authorized her to submit it, she still isn't him and can't swear to an electronic signature that she is him.

Cue another dash down to my coworker's cube to spread the love and steal some chocolate.

And if that weren't enough for one day....

Stupid Man: "I'm 'enery the 8th, I am!"

SM: So, I just finished renewing my license online, and I got this message at the end that said "Congratulations, your renewed permit will be mailed to you within 10 business days. Please print a copy of this receipt for your records." So....
SM: What does that mean, exactly?

Me: *headdesk - and I'm not coming back up.*