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Antisocial_Worker
12-13-2010, 02:56 PM
For whatever reason, there's been a Christmas Wish List posted on the bulletin board at work next to the time clock. It started out as a blank page and gradually the folks from two shifts so far have filled it in with their wishes.

There's the realistic wishes, which include "new lab coats for everyone," and, possibly, "more thank yous."

There are the unrealistic wishes such as "A BIG CHRISTMAS BONUS!!!" and "the higher ups in the offices should work a full shift on the floor."

Then there are the ludicrous wishes, which include "my self respect back," and, my personal favorite, "diplomatic immunity."

And you? What are your Christmas wishes for work?

Parrothead
12-13-2010, 04:16 PM
I want the big honkin' potholes fixed up. All eight of them.


And the gate fixed. And more hours.


A job to replace the one I just lost

Calvin St.Hobbes
12-13-2010, 04:30 PM
I want...1. The secrets of the universe on 3X5 cards for E-Z indexing (hardcopy) and in Kindle format as well
2. The statute of limitations to expire....

chrislb
12-13-2010, 07:00 PM
A pair of headphones that will fit my mp3 player and some chewing tobacco. If i get these i would be the happiest man alive. I don't need much to be happy.

MoonCat
12-13-2010, 08:08 PM
At work?

- Certain people to retire before a) they turn 96 or b) I go insane from having to deal with them.
- We make a solid, no-exceptions rule: No one can place a death notice except the funeral home/crematory/whatever agency arranged the disposition of remains.
- Management to admit they bought a lousy computer system

BlaqueKatt
12-13-2010, 09:00 PM
-people in my dept:

to be healthy-(we supposedly have a team of 5 for the last three months we've been working with three or less-due to two of them calling out every single day)
to quit bitching about the ones who aren't healthy

-people not in my dept-
dammit you have college degrees! Learn to read! do not use up the media made today while the stuff from a week ago goes bad-it does have a shelf life!

Let us know when you're getting low/take the last of something-nothing we hate more than "oh hey it's 4:20 you leave in 10 minutes, we're out of x and we need it" When x is usually something that takes 2-3 hours to make.

-Management-
Please our reviews were due in june, you promised them in november, it's almost january FFS!

Stop telling clients we can do z without checking to see if we actually can.

and to the sales manager:
I am ok with being your friend, that's fine, but for the love of all that's holy, I'm married, I am not leaving my husband for you, I barely tolerate you as it is, STOP HITTING ON ME!!! Oh and stop "sexting" me when you're drunk while you're at it. You are a creepy douchebag that can't take a damn hint.....

Teskeria
12-13-2010, 09:39 PM
and to the sales manager:
I am ok with being your friend, that's fine, but for the love of all that's holy, I'm married, I am not leaving my husband for you, I barely tolerate you as it is, STOP HITTING ON ME!!! Oh and stop "sexting" me when you're drunk while you're at it. You are a creepy douchebag that can't take a damn hint.....


I'd like to recommend a nice discussion with human resources regarding sexual harassment.

BlaqueKatt
12-14-2010, 12:15 AM
I'd like to recommend a nice discussion with human resources regarding sexual harassment.


ahahahahaha-that's a good one....we don't have a human resources dept, and most of it happens outside of work-so it would be a police matter, and it's not really worth it to take it that far-it's an aggravation only, he has never and would never do more than talk-and we do hang out sometimes and have a great time-he's the only person that can keep up with me cycling.

Irving Patrick Freleigh
12-14-2010, 12:30 AM
A small thermonuclear device, a helicopter, and an alibi.

Aethian
12-14-2010, 12:53 AM
Parcel runners

Mytical
12-14-2010, 06:58 AM
Diplomatic Immunity sounds nice, as well as a Rail Gun. Hmm no better not get those...

I'll settle for peace and quiet....

Can I Help Your A$$?
12-14-2010, 04:52 PM
My wish list?

My one and only request: Health Care.

I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I need basic and cheap medication but can't afford the visits to get the prescription. I'd buy the meds off the street if people bothered to do that. The meds don't get you high. But my company's attitude is that they think if they offer 50% off a gym membership, they've done their job. They want young and perfectly healthy people, new people who get payed the least, and stay around the least. Dream employees who live for the company, and never question any of their numerous, contradictory bosses. Young women who are gorgeous and love nothing more than attending pep meetings and team building exercises, and accumulating company swag.

They should start building Retail Droids then.

Elspeth
12-14-2010, 04:54 PM
For me: for my current job to stay in business

for the hubby: to get the job he is interviewing for this morning.

Rapscallion
12-16-2010, 07:34 PM
A small thermonuclear device, a helicopter, and an alibi.

That seems to be your answer to so many things. I'm not saying you're wrong, just that you're consistent.

Rapscallion

PepperElf
12-17-2010, 12:41 AM
well tomorrow's my last day at work so... um.
give me a good word if i mention you on my resume?

eh. case of beer will be nice tho.
and not bud-crap-er. i want real beer.
maybe middle ages, swallow wit...

RichS
12-17-2010, 02:46 AM
My one and only request: Health Care.

Hear you there - I have a back, hip, and knee that are getting progressively worse, and I can't afford the pain meds or the MRI's/CAT scans to see what can be done to permanently fix all of the problems.

My wish list other than that? At one of my jobs, just consistency between academics and tutoring departments. No, academic department, we don't do make-up tests at the tutoring department, we do them certain days and times that you should know, since the person in charge is in your department! You know that we can't touch them anyway! Stop sending/having students call in to the tutoring department for make-up tests!

My other job, I need to have the monitors all replaced. Not a day goes by where I have to reset/adjust 2-3 of them, and the manufacturer support cut me off when they asked me what the business address was, and I asked them what address they needed, the address that the monitors were ordered from and sent to, or the address where they are being used. That, and some other problems with their products, and I know that I'll never buy anything for personal use from them.

pitmonkey
12-17-2010, 07:50 AM
The full time job I just put an app and resume in for.

Gizmo
12-17-2010, 12:22 PM
To get one of the perm roles available in January. About 12 people where hired on seasonal contracts for Christmas and will get called back for Easter and Summer shifts. They are taking on about half of those as perms.

I *really* want one of those. Strangely I seem to be liking retail!

shadowpanda
12-17-2010, 02:31 PM
To have something to do. I have about 5 weeks left here at my office job, and the hours are dragging because I have nothing to do. I know there are people on here who are massively over worked, please don't hate me.

For my boyfriends new job to go smoothly when it starts in February

For me to find new employment in my area of interest quickly after we move for boyfriends new job

cinema guy
12-17-2010, 03:41 PM
Stools. So we no longer have to crouch down at the keyboards for the digital projectors.

Kristev
12-20-2010, 06:31 PM
Stop the stress and recognize that I can't handle being around people very well.

dougiezerts
12-21-2010, 01:09 AM
I wish to be off Christmas Day like 90% of the rest of the population!

amazins20
12-22-2010, 10:18 PM
I wish to be off Christmas Day like 90% of the rest of the population!

Me too! It's just not fair, is it?

Irving Patrick Freleigh
12-22-2010, 11:44 PM
The economy to get better, so that we do better on sales next year than we did the past two years and I can have more hours. We're more vulnerable to economic downturns than Wally World and Target are.

People who will actually take time to train new employees the right way and correct them when they do things wrong, instead of just throwing up their hands and saying "They're trained to do it this way, they're trained to match numbers, nothing I can do."

A new crop of buyers who don't spend our money on stuff nobody seems to want to buy, and as a result it gets marked down early and the lion's share of that merchandise coming in to the DC after that gets sent to my store.

A little investment in our building and our equipment. The bathrooms haven't been remodeled in about 15 years and people complain about them on our surveys all the time. Our scanners don't work worth a shit. Neither do our wireless printers. Getting new batteries to replace the old, dead ones we have is like pulling teeth.

A snow-plowing contractor that won't land us in court when somebody falls and gets injured in the parking lot as a result of their slipshod work.

Fire_on_High
12-24-2010, 08:29 PM
My other job, I need to have the monitors all replaced. Not a day goes by where I have to reset/adjust 2-3 of them, and the manufacturer support cut me off when they asked me what the business address was, and I asked them what address they needed, the address that the monitors were ordered from and sent to, or the address where they are being used. That, and some other problems with their products, and I know that I'll never buy anything for personal use from them.

Mind PM'ing me what brand you're talking about? I might be in the market for a monitor next year to replace an old, very dark Philips CRT for my mother's machine, and I'd like to know who to avoid here.

Ben_Who
12-25-2010, 12:32 AM
What is this "Christmas" of which you speak? All I know is that I'm working 10-hour days on the 24th, 25th, and 26th, alone in the office.

A quick look at the calendar shows that the last time I had Christmas off was 2000. The next time I have Christmas off, assuming that my hours don't change (and they will) will be 2014.

Enjoy your eggnog.

Love, Who?

SuperDan
12-25-2010, 05:11 AM
Holiday pay. Sure, the free upgraded meal is nice. But if I'm going to spend my Christmas day afternoon/night with 3500 of my closest Chinese friends and quite possibly see a 24-hour shift for New Year's Eve/Day, time and a half would be nice.

Kristev
12-25-2010, 06:37 PM
And mandatory reflection of all corporate profits back to the company instead of their pockets.

Meaning, instead of overpaying themselves for not working, and doing nothing of value whatsoever, force them to provide higher wages, hire more workers, and repair the store buildings rather than do quickie patch jobs that don't last and create unhealthy conditions.

strawbabies
12-26-2010, 10:22 PM
I wish Santa would bring me a salary that actually went with my job duties.

Seenoevil
12-29-2010, 09:56 PM
A bit belated but...a boyfriend would be nice.

Can I Help Your A$$?
12-29-2010, 11:46 PM
Affordable health care.

And every time I say it, people at work think I'm joking.

Retail Associate
12-30-2010, 06:40 AM
I'm a bit late for a Christmas wish so this is my New Year's wish...

I wish aliens would abduct the new store director and take her to a planet far, far away!

She's an evil, Nazi bitch.

XCashier
12-30-2010, 07:27 AM
Wishes for my work:

To move to a much newer and better building, one that doesn't have huge cracks in the back room walls and a sloping floor.
A larger cutting counter, maybe like the ones at the superstores.
Cash registers that don't crash every time someone buys a gift card.
A proper-sized refrigerator -- sorry, but a minifridge does not work for twenty employees!

I will be leaving there for my new job in January, but still...I do like my coworkers and would wish a better store for them. :)

geek007
12-30-2010, 09:43 AM
New AGM- the current one's a lying sack of shit 3rd grade flunkie who probably slept her her way to the top. She's got a college degree in hotel management which I'm highly doubting unless they teach managerial incompentency 101. Totally useless. And she's on final warning so we are all just waiting for her to screw up one more time. I can't wait for her to do so.