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View Full Version : Overused marketing terms that must DIE!


CrazedClerkthe2nd
03-13-2011, 05:38 AM
New and improved - Physical impossibility. Must be one or the other, not both.

Once in a lifetime - There are true once in a lifetime moments, shopping is never one of them.

Revolutionary/Revolutionized - Used so often they mean squat anymore. Every business out there has revolutionized something or other.

Dare to Compare - Cheesy and just plain lame. There's a radio ad I've heard lately that uses this phrase at least EIGHT times for a 60 second spot. It's enough to make me never want to do business with that company. Ever.

The wait is over. - If I need an ad to tell to me I'd done waiting for something, it obviously wasn't that important to begin with.

It's our greatest sale ever! - And so was the last one, the one before that and the one before and the one...well, you get it.

Feel free to add more, I'm sure I've missed some.

Daemonmonkey
03-13-2011, 12:00 PM
We Price match! - Except that all of our household wares have a *somewhat* different product code, like EH12345-BB for a product that is almost exactly the same but for some decal, and thus has the code EH12345-B

Best in Town! - and so is your competitor, and the next, and the next, and...

Unlimited Broadband Speed! (yes, I've seen that several times) - So, that means that I can DL the whole Internet in the blink of an eye?

Chromatix
03-13-2011, 05:33 PM
Up to... - Actual savings/performance will, 95% of the time, be less.

CrazedClerkthe2nd
03-13-2011, 07:23 PM
Up to... - Actual savings/performance will, 95% of the time, be less.

That reminds of a variation on that... starting at only $X.XX!

There's a clothing store where I used to live that advertised they sold dress shirts starting at 9.99. When you went to the store they had one crappy style of dress shirt for 9.99, everything else was at least TWENTY dollars more, but because of that one cheap shirt, they tried to pass themselves off a discount outlet in their ads.

blondemarmot
03-13-2011, 07:34 PM
Crunchier Taste!
What the hell does crunchy taste like? Is this some flavor my poor taste buds have been missing out on all my life because of some weird genetic flaw?
Why, god, why?! I want to taste the chrunchies!

underemployeed
03-14-2011, 08:07 PM
Large pizza Unlimted toppings, (up to 4 toppings!!!) = clearly limited, I could understand no doubles, but I really want one of everything they offer because they should just say large pizza up to 4 toppings. much clearer

sms001
03-14-2011, 08:18 PM
The more you spend, the more you save.

Always thought this one was hilarious. Was covered by XKCD recently: http://www.xkcd.com/870/

It's me
03-15-2011, 03:21 AM
Free gift!

That one is just dumb... gifts are free by definitions... if you have to pay for it then it isn't a gift

Chromatix
03-15-2011, 07:31 AM
"Free Gift" is a tautology.

telecom_goddess
03-15-2011, 02:51 PM
Ultra anything....gettin' sick of that one.

MadMike
03-17-2011, 12:57 AM
"Free", when they're trying to force something on you that no one would want, i.e. "Click here to download (product you actually want.) This product comes with free (spyware crap) toolbar!"

Sapphire Silk
03-17-2011, 02:01 AM
Going out of Business Sale! Everything must go!. There was a store in DC that was going out of business for nearly 20 years.

CompUSA spent nearly a year going out of business.

What I hate is how stores "going out of business" are run by companies who specialize in unloading crap that won't move . . . by putting it in a store that is "going out of business", and then charging regular prices for it.

*yawn*

Dreamstalker
03-18-2011, 04:37 PM
Unprecedented discounts! Er, no. The only discount that is truly "unprecedented" would be the first one ever in the history of retail.

There's nothing like it! Cereal with raisins isn't new.

mattm04
03-19-2011, 06:02 AM
The more you spend, the more you save.

Always thought this one was hilarious. Was covered by XKCD recently: http://www.xkcd.com/870/

I have seen my company use that several times. Sadly, they use it because it works. Oooh..if i buy 26 of item X that no one in their right mind would buy for some reason, i can save 10 cents on item y that i might need someday!

DGoddessChardonnay
03-19-2011, 06:20 AM
More Ways To Save - This is one the Litter Box has been using for close to a year now and already we cringe just seeing it on the signage throughout the store.

Sure . . . more like more ways to screw you over and hope you enjoy it enough to keep coming back for more. :rolleyes:

New Lower Prices - ie, we've jacked up the regular price and brought it back down to the old one.

ShadowBall
03-20-2011, 03:41 PM
Free of charge - Usually this means, "You can try this for free now, but you'll get billed for it later." Most people just see FREE and assume it actually means free, no charge ever! A present for me because I'm special!

Daemonmonkey
03-20-2011, 04:36 PM
[Area/county/country]'s cheapest grocery bag! Well if the total of the bag is 1 cheaper compared to [competitor's] bag, then it's true....


(Note: grocery bag is a way to compare prices between different stores. Basically you buy a set of equivalent products)

Kristev
03-24-2011, 02:42 AM
Save money - live better: You can both save money and live better by not shopping here. :angel:

Mytical
03-27-2011, 07:31 AM
Another "Free" complaint

FREE - Just pay shipping and handling. Then it isn't free now is it?

Daemonmonkey
03-27-2011, 11:02 AM
Your first order is absolutely Free!! - but you must buy 5 of those which ends you paying 3 times it's original value

Irving Patrick Freleigh
03-27-2011, 04:22 PM
Furniture store quality for less!--You mean like the ugly-ass sofa we have that looks and feels like it's upholstered in burlap? Or all the other stuff that always comes back defective because it's scratched, pieces are missing, or it's ripped? Y'know, there's a reason I've taken to telling people not to buy furniture from us unless you don't care what happens to it.

Lowest prices of the season--It's coming up again. Shudder. And the prices aren't that much lower--maybe $1.11 per item. But it sure brings in the people.

Naaman
03-27-2011, 10:47 PM
Strongest formula available! - Because that's the strongest we're allowed to sell it over the counter, just like all our competitors do.

Traditional formula - Probably doesn't work, but hey it's cheap

underemployeed
03-30-2011, 06:20 AM
Another "Free" complaint

FREE - Just pay shipping and handling. Then it isn't free now is it?

Better Yet, It is 19.95 for shipping, plus 6.95 for handling. I enjoy infomercials for this reason, sure they giving you all those free gifts but you pay plenty for them because with the volume they do I really doubt they need to spend that much on shipping. and then the handling fee covers the workers wages and warehouse space.

Mytical
04-03-2011, 05:23 AM
Call within the next X minutes This one really needs to die. Usually it comes along with the 'Free', 'Limited Offer', certain number, etc. Supposedly it is a miraculous deal but only if you call within a certain time frame. Only the commercial could be airing for Days/Months/years. Do people really fall for this?

Flying Grype
04-05-2011, 02:40 PM
Customer experience. Is that a marketing term? I see it at the stores of the company I used to work for. I've also heard it used internally on company documents, but it can also be used on things like comment cards and customer surveys. It isn't mountain climbing or skydiving or backpacking around Europe. It's not an 'experience'. I go in, I buy a book, I go out. It's not even a theme park. It's a fucking bookstore!

Ghel
04-05-2011, 03:04 PM
Hometown or local - I can understand wanting people to support the local economy, but the way my bank's going about this screams spin. Our main branch is out of state. Upper management live out of state. The board members live out of state. The suggestion that our "hometown" products have anything to do with the town where our branch is located is ridiculous.

Dreamstalker
04-06-2011, 03:04 AM
Customer experience. Is that a marketing term?
I've heard it used in ads for toothpaste. I don't need a 'dental experience', I just want my teeth clean.

ThirdGenRetail
04-07-2011, 05:48 AM
No purchase neccessary! - You know, I always baffle at this one on receipt surveys and various contest things on candy/soda packages, because you obviously had to buy SOMETHING to get that code. Especially the candy/soda. You have to buy those both to get that code, because the codes are hidden IN the packaging(Inside of an M&Ms bag, or in the cap of a bottle).

SuperDan
04-08-2011, 02:09 AM
No purchase neccessary! - You know, I always baffle at this one on receipt surveys and various contest things on candy/soda packages, because you obviously had to buy SOMETHING to get that code. Especially the candy/soda. You have to buy those both to get that code, because the codes are hidden IN the packaging(Inside of an M&Ms bag, or in the cap of a bottle).

But, legally, they need to allow you to get at least one chance to win the contest without making a purchase. Normally, this is done by sending a postcard or something to the company running the contest.