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View Full Version : Why would a guy do this?


snugglegirl05
11-24-2011, 08:18 PM
I met a musician on the bus several weeks ago when I was working the 2nd shift at the university I work at as a contract parking attendant for Visitor parking. Now I am working the first shift. We started talking. He did not ride the same bus I took home every Monday through Friday. Only when needed. I am currently in a relationship with another guy, which I told him. I did not mind being his friend, but I cannot be more than that.

He wanted to invite me to one of his concerts, & so he gave me his business card. He asked me to call him, but since I saw his e-mail, I chose to e-mail him instead. He responded several weeks later that he currently does not have a computer & that he had to use a computer that one of his band mates has. He asked me to call him, that he misses me & that he wants to see me soon. I sent the e-mail to my boyfriend so he knows what is going on. He told me it is ok with him that I go to the concert, & that the 2 of us can be friends. So I texted the musician. He called me to say hi.

Recently the musician saw me on the bus, & he suggested that we go to Starbucks one day. I said ok.

I do not text the musician that much. He texts me more than I text him.

Then this Wednesday he sent me a text at 12:04 asking me if I wanted to come to his place to listen to him play music. I did not get the text until Thanksgiving. I was at my boyfriend's place this Wednesday. I let my boyfriend know what he texted to me. He suggested that I let him know that I have a boyfriend. So I responded to his text stating that I am in a relationship with another guy.

What I do not get is why did it go from going to Starbucks to having me go to his place after midnight to listen to him play music?

taurinejunkie
11-24-2011, 10:48 PM
I'm guessing it never was about the music.

Sandman
11-25-2011, 12:08 AM
I'm guessing it never was about the music.

Or maybe music with heavy sax

MoonCat
11-25-2011, 01:16 AM
I know you were just being nice, and you'd be fine having him for a friend, but he clearly is hoping for more. You could try inviting the guy to meet you AND your boyfriend for coffee, and see what happens.

Jester
11-25-2011, 02:12 PM
Why? Because he is a guy that can't believe any girl would find him less desirable than any old boyfriend she happens to have.

In other words, he's a douchebag. Personally, I wouldn't bother with him anymore, as he's made it real clear that he is interested in one thing with you, and it's clearly not music.

snugglegirl05
11-25-2011, 03:21 PM
What irritates me about him is that he sent me a text this past Wednesday stating Happy Thanksgiving. I was at my boyfriends place when this happened, & he heard the noise my cell phone makes when it receives a text. I showed him the text. He said "you might want to reply to that." So I replied back stating Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Then his response was the text that he sent me at 12:04 a.m. asking me if I wanted to come over to his place to listen to music. To me that is not your normal response to someone replying back happy Thanksgiving to you too. Not even close.

Irving Patrick Freleigh
11-25-2011, 11:26 PM
The only music this guy wants you to listen to is the music made by him banging his guitar pick against your buttcheeks. You're welcome.

Redbeard
11-26-2011, 12:25 AM
Or maybe music with heavy sax

He wanted to practice his mouth techniques?

RecoveringKinkoid
11-26-2011, 01:09 AM
You should not cultivate a friendship with someone who does not respect your relationships or your boyfrien or boundaries.

TheSHAD0W
11-26-2011, 03:15 AM
It's called the "rope-a-dope", trying to wear you down to the point where he can get what he wants. It's also apparently an effective tactic. I recommend you back away.

blas
11-26-2011, 04:53 AM
Ya know, I've been the victim of a guy who was adament that I should break up with my bf (at the time) just because I found out that he had something going for me. At least, that's what I think he was insinuating, in his own backwards way of thinking.

But he never tried to manipulate the situation, or anything. Just guilted me, which hurt just as bad, but at least he didn't try to force himself into the picture.

snugglegirl05
12-01-2011, 12:32 AM
Oh crap

I gave him my cell phone number several weeks ago. He has called me a couple of times, but I never called him to talk. Today he called me. I did not know what to say, & so I disconnected the call. Guess I will have to let the call go to voice mail & see what he wants.

Redbeard
12-01-2011, 01:33 AM
All joking aside, the guy is, indeed a grade a douchebag.
Your best bet is just to stop returning his calls, don't responds to emails or texts, delete voicemails.
He's proven that he can't be trusted to treat you and your relationship with your b/f with respect, you need to cut him out or he won't give up.

bhskittykatt
12-01-2011, 10:10 PM
Echo everyone's sentiments that this guy is a dbag. Just ignore him. Don't return his calls or texts. Hopefully, he'll move on and stop bugging you.

Treasure
12-01-2011, 10:28 PM
I just had a friend tell me a similar "I'm married, and dude is texting inappropriate things" type situation - i'll tell you the same thing I told her...

block/delete his number and Ignore him; when he asks "What's up with that" as he will, you tell him, "You can't respect my relationship, i have nothing further to say to you"

leave it at that.... he gets no further chances....

the ONLY "music" made at a guy's apt after midnight is "Sheet" music.....

[internet cookies for the reference]

snugglegirl05
12-05-2011, 10:33 PM
Well...

Musician guy gave me his business card several weeks ago before he sent me that crazy text. He wanted me to call him. I noticed that his e-mail address was on his business card. So I e-mailed him instead.

He sent me an e-mail a couple of weeks later.

Then I get an e-mail with this link in my inbox...

Random Spam Site

The first thing I noticed were the other e-mail addresses he sent this e-mail to plus the cost of Viagra and Cealis.

What the crap is he up to?

Jester
12-07-2011, 11:00 PM
Okay, let me make this really clear, and leave no room for misinterpretation....

What he is up to, without any question, is that he is trying to get in your pants. To sleep with you. To park his car in your garage. To land his plane in your hangar. To engage in sexual intercourse with you. In short, to fuck the living shit out of you.

And, it would seem, any other girl who will give him the time of day. Or at least an email. So, unless you feel like riding cowgirl on him, stop calling him, stop emailing him, and ignore his dumb (and very not subtle) ass. Since continued communication from you will only be taken by him as you being interested in his schlong.

Seraph
12-08-2011, 12:02 AM
The first thing I noticed were the other e-mail addresses he sent this e-mail to plus the cost of Viagra and Cealis.

What the crap is he up to?

I still think this guy is a scumbag, but this isn't his fault.

What you see there, is a bona fide virus that he's got on his computer, and it's going into his email, and sending out spam to all his contacts.

snugglegirl05
12-08-2011, 12:13 AM
So, unless you feel like riding cowgirl on him, stop calling him, stop emailing him, and ignore his dumb (and very not subtle) ass. Since continued communication from you will only be taken by him as you being interested in his schlong.

Oh I have not called him, texted him or e-mailed him since the last text he sent me, which was at 12:04 a.m., stating "Would you like to come over to my place and listen to me play music."

The last time he called me on my cell phone, after he sent that text, I hung up on him.

dalesys
12-08-2011, 12:14 AM
What you see there, is a bona fide virus that he's got on his computer, and it's going into his email, and sending out spam to all his contacts.
So even his computer doesn't practice safe...:lol:

Jester
12-08-2011, 12:39 AM
Oh I have not called him, texted him or e-mailed him since the last text he sent me...

Sorry. Your last post made it seem like you had emailed him SINCE that last text.

My mistake.

Although I still stand by my assessment of his underlying intentions.

Sapphire Silk
12-10-2011, 01:55 PM
The email could have been innocent. I've been getting a LOT Of them from former anc current students of mine who've picked up viruses that turned their address books into spam bots.

If the viagra site was in the CC field, then Jester's thoughts might be more on target though.

snugglegirl, have you blocked his cell number from your cell phone? That would seem a prudent step.

I do think Jester's assessment is right in that since he wasn't given a direct no, that means the door is still open. Sex is all he wants, or he'd have been a bit more consistent with the communication IMHO.

It's like that line from Dumb and Dumber, "So there's still a chaannnce . . ."

If he contacts you again give him a literal, "Get lost, loser." If he contacts you again after that, call the cops and file a stalking complaint.

emt_cookies
12-11-2011, 12:29 AM
My friend's AOL account sends out spam for Viagra, easy home jobs, and a few other things about twice a year. He usually starts swearing up a storm when that happens because his mom will usually click on the links wondering what her son is sending her.

Depending on the hours he runs, he may have been innocent. I know I used to keep hours like that and a lot of my friends still do. It wasn't that odd for one of them to invite me over to play a video game at 11 pm or later at night. Plus he may have been alone on Thanksgiving. Or he could have been trying to get into your pants. I would have told him that you didn't think inviting you over that late at night would be appropriate and if you went, you would have been disrespectful to your boyfriend.

Misanthropical
12-12-2011, 03:39 AM
I agree with everyone else, he is just trying to get into your pants. The guy is a player and you should stop all contact with him.