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View Full Version : Holy. Shit. (warning, squick content)


Dreamstalker
11-28-2011, 02:52 PM
Mom works as a household manager for a wealthy family in the next town. They have three boys; her duties are to get the kids to school, shopping, etc.

Both of the parents are research department heads at a local hospital.

All three kids are starved for attention, but the older two seem to behave themselves (the youngest one is the instigator; they treat him like a 'baby' because he insists on acting like one, he lashes out, they respond, repeat until pulpy or someone separates them).

The youngest seems to be a budding sociopath. He has zero empathy for anyone (or anything) else; the kids had been wanting a dog but wisely the parents refused. Not really fair to the older two, but my concern (and hers) was what the youngest would do to the poor thing. Mom refuses to leave him alone for fear that he would hurt himself or damage/set fire to the house (that apparently almost happened before she was hired). One of his ideas of fun is locking everyone else out. He's also a master manipulator, seems to have some signs of bipolar as well.

On Tuesday, they get out of school at noon so mom has to bring them home (they had a nanny, who seems to have quit and then came back; the youngest boy who mom has dubbed 'Damien' is only eight and they've gone through seven nannies).

D: Psychokid
O1: Middle boy

So D and the other two are playing outside, the usual yelling and all that when suddenly it goes dead quiet. Then D comes in crying "O1 punched me!"
Mom: "What did you do to him?"
D: "Nothing!"

Mom doesn't trust D at all, so she calls O1 in to talk to him. O1 is walking oddly.

Unfortunately mom's the only adult in the house so she can't separate them; she doesn't want to send D outside again unsupervised. (she mentioned that she could have used me there to calm O1 down or restrain D; mom can put up with a lot and when she invokes my skills I know it was pretty bad)

What mom determines from 'interviewing' O1 (she no longer trusts D's word on anything) is that D had pulled O1's pants down and was tugging quite hard on his penis :eek:

What D said next shocked me even more than what he did earlier: "I know you liked that when I did it."

She calls the mother immediately and says "You need to come home NOW." It took her (mom) almost an hour to get O1 to understand that it was not his fault at all, he didn't do anything.

I didn't find out whether she had actually discussed this with the parents, but I should find out when mom gets home today. Unfortunately the only evidence is O1's explanation of events and what mom heard D say. The parents really don't believe in any sort of punishment; they rely on negotiation to get D to stop whatever he's doing. They tend to laugh it off also, and blame the older boys for beating on D.

Victory Sabre
11-28-2011, 03:11 PM
That kid reminds me of a neighbor kid I grew up with. He was a hellion who had no empathy for others. He was totally evil, and did things to my sister. I was so happy when the family moved away.

As far as I know he's still in prison for holding his girlfriend's family hostage at the barrel of a shotgun.

Dreamstalker
11-28-2011, 03:36 PM
The father's parents know there's something 'wrong' with D and don't approve of how the parents are handling it. Both mom and I think that kid's going to be in the local news within 2 years and not in a good way (from some of the stories mom has, I would lose my patience very quickly with D, and I can put up with a fair amount of shit).

Mom said that everyone was tiptoeing around today; she says that happens if the weekend has Not Been Good. No idea what happened. The dad said "I don't know what to do about the boys", she said that D was the one who was always out of control and the father got quiet and walked away. The nanny is still there, but I think she's at the end of her rope (she was asking mom if she knew anyone who needed a nanny/sitter)

BlaqueKatt
11-28-2011, 07:09 PM
What mom determines from 'interviewing' O1 (she no longer trusts D's word on anything) is that D had pulled O1's pants down and was tugging quite hard on his penis :eek:

What D said next shocked me even more than what he did earlier: "I know you liked that when I did it."

um it sounds like it's quite possible D has been the victim of sexual abuse, that is not normal behavior, and should be evaluated by professionals. The acting out and lack of empathy, destructive behavior, acting like a "baby" are also signs of sexual abuse, or a possible attachment disorder (http://helpguide.org/mental/parenting_bonding_reactive_attachment_disorder.htm ).

Warning signs of sexual abuse in children (http://www.stopitnow.org/warning_signs_child_behavior)

MoonCat
11-29-2011, 01:46 AM
That kid could also just be running wild because he has never had any limits set, and no consequences for bad behavior. You don't "negotiate" with children. The fact that they won't trust him with an animal speaks volume. That kid's going to be in prison before he's 20.

Dreamstalker
11-30-2011, 02:33 PM
No, you don't. An aunt of mine did that with her boys, and they were hellions of the highest order (my grandfather was the one who kept them in line when they visited).

O1 has been having meltdowns this week. He threw a framed picture of his on the floor and stomped on it--the father acted like that was normal for O1 (which it is not; he's a sweet kid but overly sensitive to the crap that goes on). O1 and O2 tend to get blamed for what D does.

What happened before holiday break has never been discussed that mom knows of and we both think O1's meltdowns have a lot to do with it.

The parents seem just clueless/oblivious/both.

Seraph
11-30-2011, 04:00 PM
:O Holy...

I just....

Wow. This hits me harder than I'd like to admit. That poor kid (O1). D's parents just about need to be taken out back and shot for that "parenting". I swear to god, some people do not deserve to have children, because they cannot raise them with a modicum of morals. :fume:

Dreamstalker
11-30-2011, 05:20 PM
Indeed. O1 reminds me a bit of me at that age: creative, smart, a bit shy, and wants to please people. He tagged along with mom one weekend when she had to run me to work (I was petsitting a few towns over and the subway had decided to shut down for construction starting the day before); we spent the car ride discussing Weird Al and which song was 'best'.

That parenting style infuriates mom as well; yes they're busy, but 'parent' means parent. Far as I can figure their only free time with the kids is late at night (when the kids have to be in bed). Hell, mom was a single parent who worked most of the day yet we always found time to do stuff. Might not have been exotic outings, but it didn't have to be.

tropicsgoddess
11-30-2011, 05:26 PM
Oh...My....God. That kid (Damien) seriously needs some help...or an ass whooping. :jawdrop: :eek:

Redbeard
11-30-2011, 07:21 PM
I'm thinking it's time to involve child protective services, to be honest.

MoonCat
12-01-2011, 02:01 AM
Anyone else think those parents need a good dose of John Rosemond?

XCashier
12-01-2011, 06:41 AM
um it sounds like it's quite possible D has been the victim of sexual abuse, that is not normal behavior, and should be evaluated by professionals. The acting out and lack of empathy, destructive behavior, acting like a "baby" are also signs of sexual abuse, or a possible attachment disorder (http://helpguide.org/mental/parenting_bonding_reactive_attachment_disorder.htm ).

Warning signs of sexual abuse in children (http://www.stopitnow.org/warning_signs_child_behavior)
I'm thinking it's time to involve child protective services, to be honest.
I have to agree with both posters. This has gone beyond. It needs to be corrected, pronto, if the professionals need to step in to help this family, so be it.

42_42_42
12-01-2011, 08:27 PM
Agreeing with BlaqueKatt, RedBeard and XCashier. Those poor kids!

BeenThereDoneThat
12-02-2011, 07:18 AM
Definitely thinking it's time for professional help for that kid immediately. My stepdaughter was a lot like that kid - she came to live with us when she was 10 after living with her mother following her parents' divorce about 6 years earlier, and she'd been severely neglected and mind-fucked. She also accused her stepfather at the time (she's had 3 total) of molesting her, and while we did not know what to think at the time because she was a pathological liar and had also claimed the same thing about her own father around the time of the divorce (then recanted - and she lived with us for years and there is NO WAY my husband was doing anything like that, trust me, I wouldn't defend him!) - we also had her physically examined and counseled but there was no evidence unfortunately - she maintains her story to this day, and she's now 23. In any event, she was a mess, and no punishment or reward system did anything to change her behavior over the long term. She also went back to counseling and saw a couple of different counselors over the years. In her case, she ended up running away at 16, and then living a rather hard-knock life for the next few years until she wised up and begged her dad for help. Fortunately she is not a psychopath, just has issues, and has learned to own up to a lot of them...but without the intervention we sought for her who knows how things might have gone. (My brother has a stepson, now 22, who had similar issues - he's not a psychopath either but I think he's still floundering some.)

When I was growing up I always thought tough love could fix just about any problems with a kid...we were no angels but our dad could always keep us in line with "that look", or a spanking if we pushed him way too far. It blew me away that my stepdaughter just didn't seem to care what we said or did, and eventually I realized it was something we couldn't handle on our own. I sure hope D gets the help he needs...even if that means he has to be separated from society for his own good and everyone else's. :(

Dreamstalker
12-02-2011, 02:28 PM
I'm not sure what mom wants to do; she did mention CPS but she needs this job and given the parents' standing at the local hospital... (D is a master manipulator, so the only way CPS could find out about it is through her, unless it's plausible that O1 would tell someone at his school or a doctor). Mom's keeping her ears to the ground; I think she's trying to gauge how the story could get out and not involve her.

She can and has told the parents that D could use professional help, now if only the clueful grandparents would weigh in...

Chromatix
12-02-2011, 03:09 PM
Isn't there a way of making an anonymous tip?