PDA

View Full Version : Real men of genius


Irving Patrick Freleigh
07-20-2006, 12:33 PM
I. P. Freliegh presents...Real Men of Genius

(voiceover: real men of genius!)

Today, we salute you, Mr. Distribution Center truck loader guy

(vo: Mr Distribution Center truck loader guy!)

Loading trucks is a tough job, but you know how to get it done. Just put the heavy furniture on top of the boxes of detergent. At least the guy unloading it won't have to add any detergent when he washed his shirt

(vo: Five kinds of freshness!)

And you know that the truck unloader loves nothing more than dodging the small, heavy boxes you put out of sight on the top of everything else. It's a wonderful aerobic exercise. If he gets hit on the head, it's because he didn;t run fast enough.

(vo: Seeing lots of stars now!)

Just think of your job as a big game of Jenga, you against the unloader, and there's no way you can lose

(vo: TIMBER!)

And while throwing boxes all day leaves you exhausted, you can rest secure in the knowledge that you don't have to unload that pallet of bottled water you set on top of the pallet of paper towels

(vo: Sucks to be you!)

So we salute you, manhandler of merchandise. Because you work as hard as an ox, and you're almost as smart as one.

(vo: Mr. Distribution Center Truck Loader guy!)

Irving Patrick Freleigh
07-20-2006, 01:07 PM
And now, the backstory that prompted the above post...

I came in at quarter to ten for my overnight shift. On the way in, I ran into one of the guys on the truck crew. He was literally covered head to toe in detergent. It had soaked into his clothes.

He told me that the guys at the DC who loaded the truck put a bunch of heavy pieces of furniture on top of a row of boxes of laundry detergent, crushing at least three of the boxes and leaving a detergent slick running from the back of the truck to the front. He could hardly walk around in the trailer. He could only take one box at a time and slip and slide around in the muck and mire. There wasn't any kitty litter that could be used to sop up the mess, so he tried laying down sheets of cardboard so he'd have a dry surface to walk on. That didn't work well at all. As a result, it took them almost the entire night to unload all of the loose boxes and they didn't take any bulk merchandise off the trailer. They are supposed to stay until they get this done, but I can't blame them for leaving early this time. Plus, he told me he was feeling rather sick; after a while that chemical fresh smell gets to you.

The detergent got into just about everything and ruined a lot of stuff. We had a lot of food items that we had to defect and throw away because the detergent had contaminated them, and nobody likes Tide with their pop tarts. Plus there were some clothes and linens that we aren't sure are going to be salvagable.

The sad thing is, all that defective merchandise will count against us as shrink, and affect our bottom line, even though we did nothing to cause it. When the next shrink report comes in corporate is probably going to grill us good, and they probably won't believe us when we tell them the guys at the DC loaded the truck craptacularly, and caused a bunch of detergent to leak all over the merchandise.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. To work at our DC, you need brain damage and/or a drinking problem.

digilight
07-20-2006, 03:40 PM
Just an idea, since this counts against your stores shrink and this would affect budget and more importantly the managers bonuses why can't they take pictures of situations like this. Then at least there is proof that this wasn't caused on the store end. Unfortunatly I know the answer to this, if it makes sense it won't happen.

Becks
07-20-2006, 03:43 PM
I LOVE the "Real Men of Genius" commercials!!!!! I would PAY to have a CD of them all. Could there be a way of obtaining such an item???

And I agree with Digilight. Have pictures taken. Have management write statements. Whatever it takes!!!!!!!!!!!!

Irving Patrick Freleigh
07-20-2006, 07:53 PM
I suggested taking pictures but nobody had a camera.

I'm not even sure the overnight supervisor told the opening manager about the mess. She usually tells the opening manager what went on during the night before she leaves for home, but I never saw any manager in the store when we left.

I pity the poor schmuck who's responsible for backstocking all the bulk that didn't get taken off.

nicegirl
07-20-2006, 07:57 PM
I LOVE the "Real Men of Genius" commercials!!!!! I would PAY to have a CD of them all. Could there be a way of obtaining such an item???

And I agree with Digilight. Have pictures taken. Have management write statements. Whatever it takes!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love those commercials too!

my favorite is the boneless buffalo wings inventor:

" hope i'm not eating rear-end!"
"hands off my drummies!"

wagegoth
07-20-2006, 08:44 PM
Plus, he told me he was feeling rather sick; after a while that chemical fresh smell gets to you.


He probably actually was getting sick. You are not supposed to be in contact with cleaning products, even the products that clean your clothes, in the amount for any time.

I think I would have paid (although your salary is probably depressingly low) for a throw-away camera with a flash.

Antisocial_Worker
07-20-2006, 10:45 PM
This is one of the most screamingly funny posts I've ever read on here. :roll:

Let's all be honest here... Who else could hear -- and hear perfectly -- the voiceovers as sung by charter members of the Back-up Singers Local #304?

XCashier
07-20-2006, 11:27 PM
This is one of the most screamingly funny posts I've ever read on here. :roll:

Let's all be honest here... Who else could hear -- and hear perfectly -- the voiceovers as sung by charter members of the Back-up Singers Local #304?
I agree, that was brilliant! Irving, you've found your calling; as an ad-writer! :D

But seriously, that sounds like a horrific mess, and I hope your store doesn't get too much hassle over it. More to the point, I hope they find out which schmuck loaded that truck and make him mop up the mess and pay for the damage.

Ringtail Z28
07-20-2006, 11:55 PM
Damn, your store shouldn't any responsibilty at all for that mess. It should all go straight to the DC.

Moirae
07-21-2006, 12:01 AM
And the loader should be fired.

Byronthebanker
07-22-2006, 02:29 AM
As to the person that wanted the CD - Budweiser did produce actually 2 volumes that I saw last time I was at their Jacksonville brewery tour. It was available at the logo shop, and probably their website (been 2 years though) .

When I worked in a grocery store, we always had a Polaroid camera to take picutres of toppled over pallets and truck messes . .however, except for a stack of pictures, the store got nothing.

At the very least, a well worded letter back to the DC with the details would be in order to both document the incident and clarify the store's dissappointment with the DC behavior.

HYHYBT
08-17-2006, 12:31 PM
So why does it count against the recieving store instead of the DC?

(I guess it's a good thing our supplier is a separate company. Anything damaged before it gets in the store is on them)

lordlundar
08-17-2006, 04:30 PM
So why does it count against the recieving store instead of the DC?

(I guess it's a good thing our supplier is a separate company. Anything damaged before it gets in the store is on them)

If it's signed for, it's interpreted that it was fine on arrival and it was damaged in store.

Which begs the question as to why it was signed for? The managers I've had would simply say "nope! take it back. I'm not accepting damaged goods."

Irving Patrick Freleigh
08-17-2006, 07:03 PM
If it's signed for, it's interpreted that it was fine on arrival and it was damaged in store.

Which begs the question as to why it was signed for? The managers I've had would simply say "nope! take it back. I'm not accepting damaged goods."


When this happened, we were still on our old system of unloading trucks. The trucks would be acknowledged in the morning after they arrived and before they were unloaded, so we had no way to know if anything was damaged until after we opened it up and started unloading.

Now, the trucks don't get acknowledged until after they have been unloaded, because otherwise it screws up our scanning. Even so, that wouldn't make any difference. I don't think we can just toss damaged stuff back on the truck and send it back.

Crazyredhead
08-17-2006, 10:10 PM
"I always wanted to know what boiling oil sounded like up close. -- Crazyredhead "

I'm honored hauntedheadnc, I didn't know that you used one of my lines as your sig. I feel special.