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View Full Version : Can someone give me some advice?


Eddie The 'Ead
12-19-2011, 08:43 PM
I've recently had my suspicions confirmed that my friend, who has a fiance, likes (and apparently has tried to kiss and gives back rubs to) another friend of mine, who I know doesn't feel the same way about him. What would be the best way to go about this? His fiance is one of my best friends, and I don't like the idea of him doing this behind her back. :confused:

Aethian
12-19-2011, 10:01 PM
Well you could be the bad guy by telling her and maybe destroying the relationship.

OR

You could be the bad guy and do nothing about it since it's not your relationship.

OR

You could be the bad guy and call out the fiancee for their actions.

OR

You could be the bad guy and talk to the other friend of yours who, imo, should be the ONLY one to speak up against the behaviour if they really don't like it.

Kelshir
12-19-2011, 10:35 PM
Stay out of it and know nothing. If you do anything you will be the bad guy.

Chanlin
12-19-2011, 11:19 PM
I agree with the others. There are times when the best course of action is to let people make mistakes. IMO this is one of those times.

Kittish
12-20-2011, 12:23 AM
Well you could be the bad guy by telling her and maybe destroying the relationship.

OR

You could be the bad guy and do nothing about it since it's not your relationship.

OR

You could be the bad guy and call out the fiancee for their actions.

OR

You could be the bad guy and talk to the other friend of yours who, imo, should be the ONLY one to speak up against the behaviour if they really don't like it.

Quoted for Truth. Though if you really feel you absolutely have to do something, that last one is probably the least of the evils.

Redbeard
12-20-2011, 12:28 AM
You could be the bad guy and talk to the other friend of yours who, imo, should be the ONLY one to speak up against the behaviour if they really don't like it.

This option here is the best of a bad situation in my opinion.
As far as what you end up doing, if anything? Follow your conscience. Do what you think is the right thing.

Seshat
12-20-2011, 03:19 AM
If you see him touching the unwilling-third-party, and she looks uncomfortable, support her in her attempts to get him to stop.

If she isn't willing to bluntly tell him to stop, take her aside quietly and encourage her to do so. And you support her when she does.

If he continues to try to behave that way, take HIM aside quietly and tell him he's not winning any friends here.

I would expect that the fiance of the toucher is aware of his actions, even if she isn't 'allowing' herself to be.

Greenday
12-20-2011, 04:13 AM
I'd do what I'd want one of my friends to do: tell me. Personally, I don't give a crap what the cheater thinks since they are a P.O.S. anyway. I care about my friends and none of my friends deserves to be with someone who cheats on them and doesn't think they are good enough.

Though I'd only do it if I actually knew for a fact it was happening.

If I had a friend who knew my fiance was cheating on me and didn't tell me, that friend wouldn't be a friend anymore. Friends watch their friend's back.

Seraph
12-20-2011, 11:59 AM
I have to agree with Greenday. I'd really prefer to be told about something like that.

Jester
12-20-2011, 12:42 PM
There is an important and, as yet, unanswered question here. To wit, which of the couple is your better friend? The would-be cheater, or the one who is blissfully unaware of the would-be cheaters actions?

If the one you hold closest to your heart is the would-be cheater, you should either shut your mouth and let it play out, or pull said would-be cheater aside and confront them with the utter bullshit they are pulling.

If the one you hold closest is the unaware fiance, or they are both as close to you, then once again you must confront the would-be cheater, but with a different tact....ask them what the hell they are thinking, what the hell they are doing, and why the hell they are engaged to their fiance if they have no issue with going after other people.

Or....ignore the whole thing and hope it blows away, or just ignore the results completely.

Greenday
12-20-2011, 12:46 PM
There is an important and, as yet, unanswered question here. To wit, which of the couple is your better friend? The would-be cheater, or the one who is blissfully unaware of the would-be cheaters actions?

The OP described the would-be cheater as a friend and the would be cheater's fiance as a best friend. That's what I based it off of.