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View Full Version : So This Is Rather Awkward...


Jester
01-02-2012, 03:53 AM
I recently signed up for an online dating website. This is not the awkward part. I have no problem with this, as the bars clearly aren't working, and let's face it, I'm not Mr. Shy. And hell, why not? I'd love a date or two. Worst case scenario is that I'm still alone and single, which I already am. No biggie, right?

Well, the first serious inquiry I get, I respond to. And I get a response back today. She actually knows who I am. Why? Because, in this small island town, she recognizes me from doing magic at the restaurant, and her child LOVES me.

Great.

How in the flying FUCK do I live up to THAT? I'm trying to DATE women, not entertain their kids. Don't get me wrong, I love kids, and I have no problem entertaining them, or entertaining the kids of women I'm dating. But is this really the way I want things to start out? The potential pit of "Oh, show my kid something else" is huge, not to mention daunting and terrifying. Especially since these are women I am seeking to date. And, to be perfectly blunt, possibly to have sex with as well. I would MUCH prefer to meet these women first and have them find out about my magic job later, or recognize me later, as that way it's JESTER they're meeting, not Jester The Magician That Entertains Their Kids.

It is potentially worse than the Dreaded Friend Zone. It's the My Kids Love You Zone. Tread carefully. Here be monsters.

Right now, I truly understand why some celebrities have trouble getting dates. I get it. I really do.

Victory Sabre
01-02-2012, 04:13 AM
Well, I'm an expert on the "dreaded friend zone" (shoot me now).

I say feel out the situation. Talk to her, and find out if there's more to her interest. It can't hurt to find out more info, even more so if she's hot.

Jester
01-02-2012, 04:36 AM
My response was very diplomatic, making it clear my focus was her and not her daughter, but doing it politely and with humor.

And yes, she's kind of hot. I'll admit that I'm superficial enough where I don't bother responding to or messaging the women on the site who aren't attractive to me.

This one is, in my view, a 7.

wolfie
01-03-2012, 03:34 AM
This one is, in my view, a 7.

How is this possible? Every woman is a 10 - of course, not all of them use the same base.:wave:

Seshat
01-03-2012, 04:38 AM
I'm clearly a 10 - using base 16. :p

Greenday
01-03-2012, 05:08 AM
My response was very diplomatic, making it clear my focus was her and not her daughter, but doing it politely and with humor.

And yes, she's kind of hot. I'll admit that I'm superficial enough where I don't bother responding to or messaging the women on the site who aren't attractive to me.

This one is, in my view, a 7.

Ah, the 1-10 System. How I miss thee.

I'm now on the Yes or No System. Right now it goes something like this: Are you a woman? If yes, then yes.

I've had someone before mention how much their kid loves something I do and that we'd get along great. Clearly they missed the part where I said I can't stand kids.

Jester
01-03-2012, 01:03 PM
I'm now on the Yes or No System. Right now it goes something like this: Are you a woman? If yes, then yes.

On the yes no system, she is a yes, at least physically, which is all I'm judging on right now.

Actually, at times, I've used a modified version of your Yes or No System. It involves four categories, not two. HELL YES! Yes. No. And OH HELL NO!

And I'm worried about you that any woman is an automatic yes in your book. Obviously you're forgetting how many truly scary hosebeasts are out there. *shudder*

Still haven't heard back from Miss 7, so no updates as of yet.

Jester
01-08-2012, 02:38 PM
....and a week later, no reply and no phone call. And I must say, I am not even slightly surprised. :lol:

Mel
01-08-2012, 02:57 PM
....and a week later, no reply and no phone call. And I must say, I am not even slightly surprised. :lol:

Of course, you didn't immediately take to little junior.

:lol:

I remember what it was like trying to find a mate as a single mother, but even I knew to take it easy with the "I have a child" declarations at first!

Greenday
01-08-2012, 06:32 PM
And I'm worried about you that any woman is an automatic yes in your book. Obviously you're forgetting how many truly scary hosebeasts are out there. *shudder*

A year in the desert with a bunch of dudes and the rare female will do that to you.

sms001
01-08-2012, 08:47 PM
I'm clearly a 10 - using base 16. :p

So you're a "16!?" Impressive.

42_42_42
01-09-2012, 12:12 AM
She wasn't looking for someone to date, she was looking for a father for her kid.

Jester
01-09-2012, 01:53 AM
Of course, you didn't immediately take to little junior.

:lol:

I remember what it was like trying to find a mate as a single mother, but even I knew to take it easy with the "I have a child" declarations at first!

I had no issue with her telling me she had a child. I did have an issue with her gushing about how awesome I was as a magician and how much her child loved me. That's great, lady, but I didn't sign up on this DATING website to entertain more kids. That's my job, and while I enjoy it, I signed up on this DATING website to, oh, I dunno....DATE.

She wasn't looking for someone to date, she was looking for a father for her kid.

Not even that. She was looking for free entertainment for her child and/or a babysitter.

The fact that I have not heard a peep from her tells me that either this assumption is right or that, somehow, my response to her just was not acceptable to her, for whatever reason. Perhaps I didn't gush enough over her precious angel.

To which I say, whatfuckingever.

Eisa
01-11-2012, 02:36 PM
Lamesauce. Big time. You deserve someone who ain't looking for a magician for her kids (although I'm sure you're a great magician :D ).

Amethyst Hunter
01-13-2012, 05:35 PM
I've had someone before mention how much their kid loves something I do and that we'd get along great. Clearly they missed the part where I said I can't stand kids.

Try being a childfree woman. Not only do you get ignored for date potential, you get raked over the coals because you're either not "fulfilling your purpose" or are "some kind of unnatural freak" because you don't have and don't want any kids.

(Never gotten those responses myself because I don't date - for several reasons - but I've heard friends/acquaintances share their horror stories.)

And I agree with Jester. Desperation isn't only unattractive in anybody, it can land you in some real ugly water.

Jester
01-15-2012, 12:02 AM
Try being a childfree woman.

Yep. Ask my friend Mouse about this. While she and her ex-husband got divorced for a variety of reasons, one of them was the unusual situation that HE wanted children and SHE didn't. Not the usual setup, after all.

And in other news....there is no other news. Still no contact from said woman, nor any other women. Yay me! I am so popular. :rolleyes:

MoonCat
01-15-2012, 12:06 AM
Yep. Ask my friend Mouse about this. While she and her ex-husband got divorced for a variety of reasons, one of them was the unusual situation that HE wanted children and SHE didn't. Not the usual setup, after all.

And in other news....there is no other news. Still no contact from said woman, nor any other women. Yay me! I am so popular. :rolleyes:

Their loss. :p

Becks
01-15-2012, 02:55 PM
Still no contact from said woman, nor any other women. Yay me! I am so popular. :rolleyes:

You could text me, you know.

Sure, I have to go to work on occasion, and every once in a while I actually manage to get some sleep, but eventually I'd text you back.

Jester
01-15-2012, 03:43 PM
Their loss. :p

While this is unquestionably true, it does nothing to alleviate my current single status or dry spell. LOL!

You could text me, you know.

Sure, I have to go to work on occasion, and every once in a while I actually manage to get some sleep, but eventually I'd text you back.

When I said "no contact from any woman" I meant in a romantic sense, on that site or in my life in general. I have plenty of female friends and coworkers and have, of course, had contact with them.

And I do text you from time to time when I have something to say. :wave:

Eisa
01-15-2012, 04:28 PM
:lol: I was about to say you could text me, too! :p

They're missing out on the Awesome that is Jester. -shakes head-

MoonCat
01-15-2012, 07:47 PM
Come on, ladies! Let's rent a bus and drive down to Key West. Some Florida sunshine and a date with Jester...who's with me? :angel:

Greenday
01-15-2012, 09:08 PM
I've been contacted by an 18 year old who seems pretty chill...but she's still in high school and that feels pretty weird to me.

dragon_wings
01-15-2012, 11:31 PM
I'm with you MoonCat! Let's get our drink on!
Jester: you are so full of awesome. ^_^

auntiem
01-15-2012, 11:48 PM
Yep. Ask my friend Mouse about this. While she and her ex-husband got divorced for a variety of reasons, one of them was the unusual situation that HE wanted children and SHE didn't. Not the usual setup, after all.

And in other news....there is no other news. Still no contact from said woman, nor any other women. Yay me! I am so popular. :rolleyes:

How did they manage to get married without having that conversation? Or did she realize she didn't want kids after they got married? I bust out that (potential) dealbreaker by the third date so no one wastes their time. My favorite response was "thank goodness, I was trying to decide when to tell you I'm fixed!"

I wouldn't worry about the lack of contacts, around here it isn't "dating season" yet, meaning people are sticking with their current partner to get thru the holidays, Valentine's Day and winter in general.
I had one friend that all he did was extend the radius of the distance he was willing to travel for a date and that got him a lot more contacts on the site he was using. One really awsome gal that lived just a mile outside of his original radius.

Eisa
01-16-2012, 12:12 AM
Come on, ladies! Let's rent a bus and drive down to Key West. Some Florida sunshine and a date with Jester...who's with me? :angel:

High-five! :D Sounds good to me! :lol:

Becks
01-16-2012, 12:53 AM
When I said "no contact from any woman" I meant in a romantic sense, on that site or in my life in general. I have plenty of female friends and coworkers and have, of course, had contact with them.

I know. I was just having fun.

And I do text you from time to time when I have something to say. :wave:

That is true.

Come on, ladies! Let's rent a bus and drive down to Key West. Some Florida sunshine and a date with Jester...who's with me? :angel:

Keep the sun away from me and I'll ride shotgun.

Jester
01-16-2012, 03:06 AM
How did they manage to get married without having that conversation? Or did she realize she didn't want kids after they got married?

I don't know. She and I never got into the specifics of it. Perhaps he knew that going in, and he hoped she'd change her mind. (That very thing happened with my friend Pilot and his wife...he never wanted kids....and now they have one, and he couldn't be happier.) Or perhaps she didn't really know at the time they got married. Again, I don't know the specifics, so can't really comment on this.

I had one friend that all he did was extend the radius of the distance he was willing to travel for a date and that got him a lot more contacts on the site he was using. One really awsome gal that lived just a mile outside of his original radius.

If I lived back home in Phoenix, I would do this. I don't. I live in Key West. To understand the problem, check googlemaps and see where I am. And understand that I am using a 50 mile radius, which in reality here is a one hour drive each way. Basically making my radius as far out as Marathon. Since I really don't have any interest in dating or starting a relationship with a girl in the Miami/Fort Lauderdale area, a good 3-4 hour drive from here. (Seriously. Check the maps. You'll understand quickly.)

I know. I was just having fun.

I know. Me too. :D

auntiem
01-16-2012, 06:35 PM
A 50 mile radius is about as far as I'd do too. The friend in my example had a very small radius to start with - I think he went with the default one (don't know for sure). We are so close to the border that I think he was trying to make sure he didn't include Canada.

dalesys
01-16-2012, 10:25 PM
Come on, ladies! Let's rent a bus and drive down to Key West. Some Florida sunshine and a date with Jester...who's with me? :angel:
:wave:I can steal borrow my boss/buddy's 40' Prevost, make a swing up into the Northwest (picking up Eisa). RootedPhoenix, you wanna ride? and head east across the frozen zone...

Sheldonrs
01-16-2012, 10:38 PM
Come on, ladies! Let's rent a bus and drive down to Key West. Some Florida sunshine and a date with Jester...who's with me? :angel:

Just the ladies? I feel left out.

Just remember, Jester, a gay man will still blow you even AFTER you are married. lol

dalesys
01-16-2012, 10:57 PM
Just the ladies? I feel left out.
The second 'd' is invisible, but there.;)

protege
01-16-2012, 11:38 PM
After reading this thread...I can come to only one conclusion. Jester is a lucky bastard :p

Jester
01-17-2012, 03:41 AM
Just remember, Jester, a gay man will still blow you even AFTER you are married. lol

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Right island. Wrong dude!

Sorry, boys. The ladies may be neglecting me lately, but it's still not enough for me to switch teams. Thank you, but no.

After reading this thread...I can come to only one conclusion. Jester is a lucky bastard :p

And you draw this conclusion based on....what, exactly? :headscratch:

Eisa
01-17-2012, 05:35 AM
^I'm presuming because a great deal of CS, male and female, is ready to go on a road trip for you. :lol:

Treasure
01-17-2012, 03:54 PM
Come on, ladies! Let's rent a bus and drive down to Key West. Some Florida sunshine and a date with Jester...who's with me? :angel:

As long as I don't have to drive!!

Jester - you cook for me, I'll bake for you!!!

Sheldonrs
01-17-2012, 04:27 PM
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Right island. Wrong dude!

Sorry, boys. The ladies may be neglecting me lately, but it's still not enough for me to switch teams. Thank you, but no... :headscratch:

You don't have to switch teams. You just have to try my recipe for a rufi-colada.

:devil:

Jester
01-17-2012, 11:30 PM
Jester - you cook for me, I'll bake for you!!!

Now that's one of the best offers I've had in a long time!

You don't have to switch teams. You just have to try my recipe for a rufi-colada.

Thanks but not thanks...I don't do frozen drinks. :lol:

Sakka
01-21-2012, 10:55 AM
I wouldn't worry about the lack of contacts, around here it isn't "dating season" yet, meaning people are sticking with their current partner to get thru the holidays, Valentine's Day and winter in general.


Really? I guess my ex missed that memo.
Dumped me during christmas time.

Dasota
01-21-2012, 03:43 PM
New Years Day here. But also, single folk are missing the memo here. Had 2 dates in as many days this week

houdini
01-21-2012, 04:23 PM
Come on, ladies! Let's rent a bus and drive down to Key West. Some Florida sunshine and a date with Jester...who's with me? :angel:

I'd fly over for the chance of some sunshine, good company and a drink of some decent alcohol! It's horribly stormy here and Key West sounds perfect. Especially if there's baking thrown in...

MoonCat
01-21-2012, 07:54 PM
I'd fly over for the chance of some sunshine, good company and a drink of some decent alcohol! It's horribly stormy here and Key West sounds perfect. Especially if there's baking thrown in...

Yeah, Key West is looking pretty good to me right now, too, now that we've had some snow. I shouldn't really complain. We got almost a full month into winter with almost no snow, and in fact it's supposed to be in the 40's by Monday. Still, I'd rather have the temp in the 70's.

protege
01-21-2012, 11:31 PM
And you draw this conclusion based on....what, exactly? :headscratch:

Uh, the ladies wanting to rent a bus and head down your way? :D

Eisa
01-22-2012, 01:22 AM
Uh, the ladies wanting to rent a bus and head down your way? :D

All the single ladies, all the single ladies... :lol:

Becks
01-22-2012, 08:15 PM
Especially if there's baking thrown in...

Jester doesn't bake.

He cooks, but he's often mentioned that baking isn't a skill of his.

Jester
01-23-2012, 09:42 AM
I actually probably COULD bake. I just DON'T bake. I have neither the patience nor the precision required for such activity.

houdini
01-24-2012, 07:21 PM
Jester - you cook for me, I'll bake for you!!!

I was planning on eating whatever Jester couldn't :D