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Redbeard
01-22-2012, 11:25 PM
This kid has defintely got my genes.

Now, as I mentioned before, Young Nephew is autistic (which is one of the many reasons Little Sis started the NPO). This combined with a natural deviltry has given me some great giggles over the years.
I'm sad to say that the kids have never met their Uncle Redbeard although we've talked over the phone and Little Sis has made sure to show them pictures of myself and Mrs Redbeard, but these are some of the stories that have been shared:

Story the first, we discover an honest child
One year while waiting in line to see Santa, Young Nephew looks up at Little Sis and tells her "Momma, Santa's not giving me any presents this year."
"Well, why's that, buddy?"
"Cuz I've been NAUGHTY!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Apparently he has a naturaly evil laugh. Mad scientist in the making? You decide!

Story the second, the birth of Mister Peanut
Little sis is getting the kids ready to head to town, she tells Young Nephew to go get his shoes on and leaves the room for about 3 minutes to take care of something. Somehow in that 3 minute time Young Nephew had managed to strip down to his birthday suit, cover himself in peanut butter and wrap himself from head to toe in toilet paper.
His reasoning? He wanted to be a mummy and go "Rawr!" to people.
Henceforth he has been known as Mister Peanut.

The D'awwwwww moment
At a recent fundraiser dinner, an elderly woman in a wheelchair was dressed to the nines, but also obviously not feeling welcomed. It seems that her family brought her and then promptly left her alone to watch the party without knowing anyone.
Mister Peanut and his sister, Sissy, who was 7 at the time, went up to the 80+ year old lady, looked her in the eyes and asked if they could get their picture taken with her because she was so pretty. Apparently you could have cut diamond with the gleam from her eyes at that.

So, share! Silly and/or awesome kid stories!
What other wackiness is out there?

AnaKhouri
01-22-2012, 11:49 PM
Kids are so funny sometimes. Today Khan (2) was dragging a length of yarn down the hall. I asked what he was doing.

Khan: "I'm walking my snake."

Me: "What kind of snake is it?" (expecting him to say, green snake, long snake, etc).

Khan: "An anaconda!"

Me: :eek:

fireheart
01-23-2012, 02:23 AM
Kids are so funny sometimes. Today Khan (2) was dragging a length of yarn down the hall. I asked what he was doing.

Khan: "I'm walking my snake."

Me: "What kind of snake is it?" (expecting him to say, green snake, long snake, etc).

Khan: "An anaconda!"

Me: :eek:

Yikes that kid is smart.

:lol:

Slayer
01-23-2012, 02:36 AM
Just one from work:

A grandma and grandson are buying a card. The grandma comes to the cash to pay. I tell her the amount. Grandma opens wallet and puts the paper bill on the counter (pet peeve *sigh*) so I reach over and slide it towards me. The grandson's eyes get real big and turns to his grandma:

"Why is she taking your money?"

I couldn't help myself, I just laughed. I hold up the coins for the boy to see and hand her the change. Grandma explains buying as they were leaving.

I was in a bad mood at the time, too, so that cheered me up. I got to steal money from a little old lady that day :lol:



Your niece and nephew were incredibly sweet to ask that lady for a picture. I want to squish them.

Lyse
01-23-2012, 03:39 AM
LMAO at Mr. Peanut! But I have to wonder how peanut butter got involved with mummies to begin with?

Mishi
01-23-2012, 06:02 AM
But I have to wonder how peanut butter got involved with mummies to begin with?

I imagine it was to make sure that the toilet paper stuck on properly.:lol:

Lyse
01-23-2012, 06:46 AM
D'oh! You're probably right. That kind of out of the box thinking leads to greatness; well, greatness or a lair under a volcano.

Kal
01-23-2012, 07:12 AM
Back when my eldest was little (technically still little at ten, but even littler then) we were coming out of the library when she saw a man at the bottom of the steps with long hair, heavy stubble and an eyepatch. Being a sensible girl she immediately screamed "It's a pirate!", dived back into the library and wouldn't come out again until he'd left. Luckily he thought it was as funny as I did and didn't get offended. :P
Another time she was walking back from nursery with her mum and stopped under a lamp post, looked up then sighed (big dramatic sigh with drooped shoulders). When asked "What's up?", she said "I can't do anything.", "What do you want to do?", and pointing upwards "Fly up there!".
She's got slightly more sensible with age, but only slightly. :)

Chanlin
01-23-2012, 07:41 AM
One mt sister shared recently. She has 4 kids from age 7 down to 1 and 1/2. She had been out shopping with them and was driving home, tired and had a headache. She scolded them for being noisy in the car and said that she had a headache so she would like it if they could be quiet. The third youngest says, "Know what makes my head stop hurting? McDonald's!"

dendawg
01-23-2012, 01:02 PM
Waaay, way back, about 1993 or so, my mom had agreed to babysit my sister's boy, Z. She was sitting on the porch swing with him on her lap and they were swinging. I came up to play with him by saying hi to him every time he swung near enough. The little turd :angel: decided to start headbutting me, hitting me in the nose a few times, and laughing his little head off when i started saying ouch. :roll: :lol:

fireheart
01-23-2012, 01:33 PM
When I was a kid, I had a boy in my class challenge me to a footrace across the width of the basketball and netball courts (they were side-by-side) and back. I ran the width of the netball court, touched it and ran back, while the boy was already down at the basketball court. My mum happened to be watching this at the time and found it hilarious :roll:.

dalesys
01-23-2012, 01:55 PM
Mom dressed my two oldest sisters (5 & 3) in bare midriff outfits. Loosewheel, the younger, was frantically trying to pull her top down to meet the lower portion.

Marha, the ancient, explained, "Don't worry, it's supposed to have an intersection."

Seraph
01-23-2012, 03:06 PM
Back when my eldest was little (technically still little at ten, but even littler then) we were coming out of the library when she saw a man at the bottom of the steps with long hair, heavy stubble and an eyepatch. Being a sensible girl she immediately screamed "It's a pirate!", dived back into the library and wouldn't come out again until he'd left. Luckily he thought it was as funny as I did and didn't get offended. :P

We had that issue recently while out at a restaurant. Guy walks past, with a huuuuge grey beard, scraggy hair, and this crazy leather eyepatch. Both girls point and scream "Santa's a PIRATE!"

Irving Patrick Freleigh
01-23-2012, 04:10 PM
Years and years ago, my family was getting ready to go out someplace. I don't remember if it was shopping or out to dinner or what.

My parents had to go do something inside the house, so they put my sister and me in the garage and told us not to move until they came back.

In the time they were gone, my sister and I got out the garage door, across the back yard, and into the vegetable garden, which at that time was a mud pit due to heavy rain or snowmelt, and sunk ourselves in the mud up to our knees.

As I recall, mom and dad weren't angry as much as amused and bewildered. As I also recall, the trip we were about to make ended up not happening.

dragon_wings
01-23-2012, 06:53 PM
My niece and nephew got a Harry Potter chest set sometime in the last year or so. And my nephew is *obsessed* with it. He'll take the pieces out and play with them even though a handful have gone missing since.
One day as the family (sis, bro in law, niece and nephew) were out and about nephew (3) screams out 'The black ones are always evil!' Cue *face palm* from my sister and brother in law. :lol:

Mishi
01-24-2012, 04:00 AM
Jazzy and Bubbles know that they are not allowed to draw on the walls.
Their paraphrased excuse: The walls are really very boring and need to be a lot more prettiful, and we know we're not allowed to draw on the walls... so they drew many pretty pictures, cut them out with fancy scissors and proceeded to glue and tape them to as many walls as they could while I was in the bathroom.

Squeaksmyalias
01-24-2012, 04:19 AM
As the story goes, typical of my childhood from what I understand.
I once got myself stuck in a tree while my older cousin was supposed to be keeping me out of trouble (considering how he, his brother and I were, I have no idea why he even tried). I meowed until found, then was lured out of the tree with a cup or can of soda. On the way back into the house he tried to bribe me not to tell, except little Squeaks was just so thrilled with her kitty cat antics that she proceeded to tell all the adults, it was a family party, quite a few heard about it. :lol:
After that he figured out that telling his little barbarian of a cousin that he wouldn't get her an invisible pet dragon was a better bribe....come to think of it he has never gotten me that invisible pet dragon. :cry:

fireheart
01-24-2012, 04:24 AM
Jazzy and Bubbles know that they are not allowed to draw on the walls.
Their paraphrased excuse: The walls are really very boring and need to be a lot more prettiful, and we know we're not allowed to draw on the walls... so they drew many pretty pictures, cut them out with fancy scissors and proceeded to glue and tape them to as many walls as they could while I was in the bathroom.

OK THAT I can see happening. Although it might be worth introducing them to Blu-Tack :lol:

When I was a kid we had this bucket in the backyard that was used for the sandpit toys (said sandpit is LONG gone). I discovered when I was a kid that I could sit in it butt-first with my hands and legs poking out the other end. Dad took a photo, then we had to tilt the bucket over so I could get out :roll:

Mishi
01-24-2012, 04:48 AM
I meowed until found.

First it was the Aircraft ADD, now it's cats. We really need to meet up one day because Bubbles is somehow taking after you! :lol:
Lately, she's been climbing up as high as possible and then meowing for rescue OR throwing down one end of a skipping rope and yelling out "Yee-hah! I caught you 'cuz I'm a cowboy!". Bubbles is randomly running up to me, licking my arm or leg, barking and then running away laughing.

@Fireheart: My two wouldn't trash the house with flour, but they have made some interesting sandwiches and breakfasts* when I'm otherwise occupied. They're clever enough to time things so that they have a lower chance of interruption. No Blu-tack, they keep trying to feed it to the dogs.

*I was woken up one morning by Jazzy who was dressed in an interesting conglomeration of clothes and announcing "I've already had breakfast. It was Weet-Bix with milk, sugar and rainbow sprinkles. I'm all dressed and I woke up Bubbles for you, she's on the potty." The sandwiches were created while I was hanging a load of washing, they were: margarine, peanut butter, marshmallows and raw sugar on wholegrain bread. I caught Jazzy just as she was adding jellybeans and choc-chips, and talking to Bubbles about adding sliced banana.

fireheart
01-24-2012, 06:12 AM
No Blu-tack, they keep trying to feed it to the dogs.



Ah. I think my mum set up a massive blackboard in the family room to stop me from drawing on the wall as a kid :lol:. Nowadays they have blackboard paint and somewhere I've heard of magnetic paint (don't know if it still exists though). (for the record, the magnetic paint is designed for the vinyl magnets)

A friend of mine has a 3-year-old daughter who has a tendency to call every woman she meets "mum" and every man she meets "dad". I think the next Medieval Fair is going to be VERY interesting...

Pure Caitred
01-24-2012, 08:24 AM
When I was about 3 I wandered off from my family during a trip to the city. I ended up in a police station, at some nice officer's desk, drawing pictures. Unfortunately for him, he'd left his lunch on the desk. He came back to find his desk covered in paper and mandarin scraps.
Truly I was the most daring criminal they'd ever encountered, committing my heist in the middle of the police station! Fortunately I was cute enough to get away with it. :angel:

FormerCallingCardRep
01-24-2012, 03:27 PM
somewhere I've heard of magnetic paint (don't know if it still exists though). (for the record, the magnetic paint is designed for the vinyl magnets)

We just bid a job that called for Magnetic Paint to be used in a room

AnaKhouri
01-24-2012, 07:38 PM
Me, Khan and my Dad were at the zoo, looking at the orangutans. Some woman was standing there in her cell phone. She said to the other person, "I'm just here at the zoo looking at some..I guess they're monkeys, some kind of chimp or something."

Khan piped up helpfully., "They're orangutans!"

The woman glared at Dad because he was snickering. But as he said later, if you're going to display your shocking ignorance in public, you deserve to be corrected by a toddler (and really, orangutans? Only the most distinctive-looking of the large apes? Seriously?).

dragon_wings
01-24-2012, 07:39 PM
:respect: to Khan for the pwnage. That's awesome.

XCashier
01-24-2012, 07:59 PM
Henceforth he has been known as Mister Peanut.
I think he needs this costume (http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-make-a-Mr-Peanut-Costume/) for Halloween. ;)
At a recent fundraiser dinner, an elderly woman in a wheelchair was dressed to the nines, but also obviously not feeling welcomed....Mister Peanut and his sister, Sissy, who was 7 at the time, went up to the 80+ year old lady, looked her in the eyes and asked if they could get their picture taken with her because she was so pretty. Apparently you could have cut diamond with the gleam from her eyes at that.
Awww. :) That was so sweet of your kids. Definitely a trait to be encouraged.
The woman glared at Dad because he was snickering. But as he said later, if you're going to display your shocking ignorance in public, you deserve to be corrected by a toddler.
Indeed. Not to mention, there was probably a sign in front of the cage stating what the animals were, so not only shocking ignorance, but aliterate (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/aliteracy) to boot!

dalesys
01-24-2012, 08:43 PM
"I'm just here at the zoo looking at some..I guess they're monkeys, some kind of chimp or something."
Soon to be former Idiot, may we introduce The Librarian? He will cure your ignorance.:angel:

Mytical
01-24-2012, 08:50 PM
I have one of myself, but am a bit worried it would be a bit much. Has a racist comment in it. It turned out funny, and a nice moment..but not sure if it is ok to post it because of the comment...

Anyhow..Kids do say and do the oddest things.

fireheart
01-25-2012, 04:55 AM
Khan piped up helpfully., "They're orangutans!"


OK, damn your kid is smart :lol: My sister wasn't even able to say that at age 2! :eek: (the word "woodchip" to her would often come out as "woofchip")

AnaKhouri
01-25-2012, 07:24 PM
I honestly don't know how smart he is, I am not around kids very often other than him. If he is above average it's my husband's genes, he's very intelligent and quick to learn. Unlike me.

The other day Khan was playing with some Star Wars toys my brother-in-law got him. There was Mommy Storm Trooper, Baby Storm Trooper, and Daddy Storm Trooper. They made a birthday cake for Darth Vader (who has a 'light sword') and went to the park to play on the slides.

fireheart
01-26-2012, 09:43 AM
The other day Khan was playing with some Star Wars toys my brother-in-law got him. There was Mommy Storm Trooper, Baby Storm Trooper, and Daddy Storm Trooper. They made a birthday cake for Darth Vader (who has a 'light sword') and went to the park to play on the slides.

Real homemakers they are :lol:

AnaKhouri
01-26-2012, 08:20 PM
God, you should see all the baked goods Doctor Doom churns out. Brownies, pudding, birthday cakes, cookies. He's like a sorcerous Paula Deen.

fireheart
02-01-2012, 02:33 AM
God, you should see all the baked goods Doctor Doom churns out. Brownies, pudding, birthday cakes, cookies. He's like a sorcerous Paula Deen.

That Dr. Doom must have a real sweet tooth :lol:.

And mine from today.

I was waiting for my interview at the swimming centre I applied for. While that was happening, the kids were going in and out for their swimming classes. One of the little kids had just finished her class and was watching the fishtank by the door.
Her mum asks her if she's ready to go and do the grocery shopping. Little girl nods. Her mum tells her to say bye to everybody and the girl goes:

"Sorry you can't come with us"

:lol:

Seraph
02-01-2012, 02:35 PM
I'm in trouble for this one, LOL.

We've been trying to get back into church a bit more, and the first step was to get the kids into Sunday school. Well, Grandma brought them to her church's sunday school last weekend. She was proudly getting them registered, when the teacher turns to my oldest and asks her if she has a Bible.

Kidling looks at her, and in all seriousness says "What's a Bible? Is that a book from Skyrim?"


...I've been hearing about it ever since.

gremcint
02-01-2012, 09:30 PM
my cousin has three kids two girls and a boy in that order. I believe the ages are 6 4 3. All three are wonderful kids and beautiful children. The oldest is a little spoiled and attention hungry sometimes but I think she'll grow out of it just fine.

Here's a quote from my cousin's facebook (A is the older one):

A made a bet with E, whoever cries first loses (not specifying any rules) E punches A in the mouth (A cries) E declares "I win" (funny yet sad)

Sakka
02-03-2012, 10:02 AM
More years ago then I care to admit, I had a paper route. Only fifty papers or so, but I covered a good chunk of my town. There were a lot of dogs on that route, and I got into the habit of carrying a bag of dog biscuits with me to distract the dogs with. :D

One day, my brother and one of his friends were over, either for lunch or after school. Mom had just got in with the shopping and was putting stuff away. On the table was a small box of dog biscuits.

Brother and his friend were either seven or eight at the time.

Brothers Friend: *looking at the box with a confused look* ... Why do you have dog treats when you don't have a dog? *hopeful pause* Do you?
Mom: Nope, they're for Sakka.
BF: *eyes get VERY big before loudly exclaiming* You mean Sakka EATS them!? (Narrator's note: What are you trying to say there kid? :salmon::roll:)
Mom, after getting her laughter under control: No, they're for any dogs on the paper route.

Kanalah
02-03-2012, 02:04 PM
My 4 year old son "Seige" homeschools with me in the mornings and afternoons we work on quilts.

He pulled out a basket from my sewing table that has assorted tools in it. He grabbed the screwdriver and started waving it around. Knowing how clumsy he can be, I told him he can either give it to me or put it away himself.

His response was "But mom, I want to screw something!"

AnaKhouri
02-05-2012, 12:42 AM
:lol:

Khan's little friend >handing him an action figure<: "Let's play Iron Man!"

Khan >rolls his eyes at action figure< : "That's Warmachine."

(it was)

fireheart
02-05-2012, 04:22 AM
:lol:

Khan's little friend >handing him an action figure<: "Let's play Iron Man!"

Khan >rolls his eyes at action figure< : "That's Warmachine."

(it was)

:eek: What have you been feeding that kid?! :lol:

Kogarashi
02-08-2012, 04:27 AM
These are fun. Here are three from my kids.

We were visiting some friends, and the girls got into some games to entertain themselves. Daddy joined them, and Wiggles (our oldest) had him playing a game she'd made up with Uno cards and a travel chess board. The card you drew determined how you moved the pieces, kind of like Sorry. Daddy drew a 9 and moved a piece around. Then Wiggles drew a Wild, pointed to it, and started laughing triumphantly. Daddy asked what the card meant, to which she replied, "I don't know."

Another time, our oldest two were playing a game where Wiggles was a shark, and Nudge (our second child, also a girl) was feeding her stuffed animals. This resulted in Nudge exclaiming "I want to feed Wiggles a baby!"

This last is from looking at Christmas lights. It was late, and the girls were quiet. Wiggles suddenly asked, "Nudge, are you awake?" Cue soft voice from Nudge's carseat: "No, I'm asleep."

boringscreenname
02-08-2012, 10:46 AM
My son is 3 and has a speech delay, so he doesn't talk much yet. I have a tablet that I let him play with occasionally and I bought him some toddler and preschool apps.He could care less about those his favorite games are Wheel of Fortune and Angry Birds. His newest expression is "Die Pigs!" and he does surprisingly well at spinning the wheel and picking out letters on Wheel of Fortune.

His little sister is 1.5. Last week DH and I went grocery shopping. I bought a box of donuts that were on sale. We get home and Dh is unloading the trunk while I'm in the kitchen, unloading the bags, putting things in the cupboard. He finishes up, comes inside and notices a partially eaten donut sitting outside the box, asks me what it is doing out, then notices the toddler with glaze covered hands and mouth. I didn't even know that she knew how to get the box of donuts open, let alone pull one out and start eating it while my back was turned.

AnaKhouri
02-08-2012, 07:21 PM
LOL, I realized Khan knew how to open the fridge AND put a straw in a juice box when he nonchalantly sauntered past drinking one that I definitely hadn't gotten him. :lol:

Another time, our oldest two were playing a game where Wiggles was a shark, and Nudge (our second child, also a girl) was feeding her stuffed animals. This resulted in Nudge exclaiming "I want to feed Wiggles a baby!"


>looks at avatar< Well, it seems she has a chance now.

Background: When we play superheroes with Khan, the bad guys are generally trying to take over the city with some non-specified plot, or robbing banks and stealing stuff. We think maybe telling him about Doctor Doom's interest in attempted genocide probably wasn't quite appropriate yet.

Today at the library, Khan got a lollipop as a Valentine's treat at story time. When we came out of the conference room into the general library, this kid who was older, 5 or 6 at least, marched up and demanded, "GIVE ME THAT!"

I said, "No, it's his."

So he tried, "Let me look at it. I just want to see it a second."

Me: "No, and if you try to take it I'm going to find the adult you came with and tell them how you're acting."

Khan: "He's a naughty guy who steals things!"

I thought maybe I should try to explain the difference to him, then I realized there isn't one. That kid WAS a naughty guy who wanted to steal something. :rolleyes:

Kogarashi
02-10-2012, 03:12 AM
...and demanded, "GIVE ME THAT!"
So he tried, "Let me look at it. I just want to see it a second."

What a brat! And a manipulative one at that, too.

Khan: "He's a naughty guy who steals things!"

Love it!

NotAlBundy
02-25-2012, 01:54 AM
I honestly don't know how smart he is, I am not around kids very often other than him. If he is above average it's my husband's genes, he's very intelligent and quick to learn. Unlike me.


Um, hi. Long time lurker, first time poster.

As someone that knows both AnaKhouri and Khan, I have to publicly state the following:
a) Khan is super smart. I think my sister's kids are smart, but Khan blows them out of the water.
b) AnaKhouri, you are smart! And creative... a deadly combination. Adding in your husband's science smarts, Khan will one day take over the world, I'm sure of it.

And now for a silly kid story.

My sister was having a birthday dinner for her oldest son (her kids have an age range of 22 years - 3 years). I wasn't present, but my brother told me about the following exchange:

My mom: See, I'm wearing a shirt that says "someone special calls me Grandma, that means you're all special"

My brother: Don't listen to her, that just means that ONE of you is special.

One of my sister's 7 year old twins confidently points at himself with his thumb.

Mishi
02-26-2012, 12:03 AM
I walked in on my two girls mooning the passing cars last night. It was so very hard to keep a straight face while telling them off, explaining why they shouldn't do it and then tucking them into bed and saying good night. I lost it when I was safely downstairs. Tears were running down my face because I was laughing so hard.

AnaKhouri
02-26-2012, 02:34 PM
One of my sister's 7 year old twins confidently points at himself with his thumb.

:lol:

Khan's superheroes have been going to the library a lot.

Hulk: Hulk wants book about cats!

Abomination: Here's your book. And three baby kittens!

Me: I hope Hulk doesn't try to cuddle the kittens...

(Abomination is apparently a librarian at heart)

fireheart
02-26-2012, 07:19 PM
:lol:

Khan's superheroes have been going to the library a lot.


I'm guessing Doctor Doom has been looking for cookbooks?

AnaKhouri
02-26-2012, 10:32 PM
Yup, Better Homes and Gardens. :lol:

This just happened:

I am standing in the hall.

Khan: "Excuse me Mommy, Move out of the way. I have to get where I'm going."

I would have been impressed with his politeness if he hadn't been shoving me the entire time.

Misanthropical
02-26-2012, 10:41 PM
When my little guy was in kindergarten, I had made cookies and the next day when I went downstairs a bunch of cookies were missing while the little guy was standing there trying to not look like he had eaten them. I asked him what happened to the cookies?

He told me that we have invisible gophers in the back yard that sneak in and they ate the cookies. I asked him why they didn't touch the store bought cookies. He told me that they don't like the store bought ones, just mine since they are the best cookies in the world. I told him if he sees them to tell them to have their own mom bake cookies for them. He told me that gopher moms don't know how to cook.

He is 13 years old now and we still joke when something disappears that maybe the invisible gophers ate it.

When my little guy was about 8 years old I came home crying because a medical student made me feel that bad about myself. My little guy got so mad that someone made his mom cry that he wanted to go down there and punch the guy. When I told him he couldn't do that he wanted to call the police. I told him there is no law against making someone cry. He stormed out the room yelling "IT SHOULD BE AGAINST THE LAW TO MAKE YOU CRY!" :o

When my big guy was in middle school he came downstairs and saw his little brother (who was in kindergarten) sitting in my lap. When they both started walking off I over heard my big guy telling his little brother that he is lucky to be small enough to still sit in my lap.

I walked outside one day to check on the kidlets (little guy and daughter were still in grade school) and I see my daughter ripping some kid a new one and threatening to kick this much bigger boy's ass. I walked over to find out what is going on. She tells me that boy was messing with the little guy. I told her she has done the same thing to her little brother. She looks at me and says only she can mess with her little brother.

She told me last year (she was 15) that she won't stand for anyone making me cry. I gave her a :confused: look since I hadn't been crying, just sitting on the couch reading a book. She just walked off. I was left sitting there wondering what just happened.

Right after the little guy was born, I was in the kitchen making dinner when my daughter (who was about 3 at the time) walked in, looked right at me and said "He is my baby not yours!" and walks back out. Yeah, I didn't know what just happened either.

AnaKhouri
02-26-2012, 11:19 PM
Haha, he just ran by with my headband over his eyes, saying, "I'll get you with my ray beams!"

Now I just have to teach him to say, "But Jean, I'm way cooler than Logan!"

fireheart
02-26-2012, 11:45 PM
Yup, Better Homes and Gardens. :lol:


There's actually a TV show down here based on that magazine :eek: It's like any other lifestyle show, although the presenters down here are more well-known in Australia. They also had a section on there from Harry's Practice for some time (vet Dr. Harry Cooper would make house calls for various behavioural reasons and would also take visits in the vet clinic for medical reasons). I used to love the Harry's Practice theme song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CP15BNnc3qM) :lol: (Number Six in that list, Better Homes and Gardens theme is Number Three)

Now I can't wait for my field placement later on this year, I will probably have some gems from the class I'll be taking. (Primary school level)

ETA: I have a gem from the lecture I just came out of. Very intimate lecture (about 40 students all up).

The lecturer was talking to us about perspectives from student and teacher view. A 5-year-old dropping his pants for instance, may not think of it as being sexual, however the teacher/parent may view it as being sexual. The point was trying to explain how something was inappropriate without sexualising it.

His favourite story involved him talking to a 5-year-old kid who'd "whipped it out" in class and was playing with it. Nothing sexual about it. During their little talk, the kid was blubbering non-stop, so thinking that the kid might be blubbering for some reason, my lecturer asked the kid "what was wrong?"
The kid responds, "But it's my favourite thing to do!" without any sexual connotation whatsoever.

Needless to say, we all started laughing.

NotAlBundy
02-27-2012, 02:58 AM
When my little guy was about 8 years old I came home crying because a medical student made me feel that bad about myself. My little guy got so mad that someone made his mom cry that he wanted to go down there and punch the guy. When I told him he couldn't do that he wanted to call the police. I told him there is no law against making someone cry. He stormed out the room yelling "IT SHOULD BE AGAINST THE LAW TO MAKE YOU CRY!" :o



That's sweet!

A couple Christmases ago, I suspected my boyfriend at the time was cheating on me. I told my oldest nephew (who was 20 at the time) my suspicions, and how I came to think that he was a philandering jerk. My nephew says, "If I find out he did cheat on you, I'm going to run over him with my car!!!!"

Umm, thanks?

AnaKhouri
03-01-2012, 12:15 AM
http://patriciacorrell.blogspot.com/

I made some paper bag puppets for my boy (see above link with photo).

I originally only made one, but when I informed him that Pai Mei was a naughty guy, he demanded a good guy so they could fight.

He can now say, "I am a kung fu master!" and "Tiger style!" And he makes kung fu noises worthy of Bruce Lee. Ahhhhhh-ha!

fireheart
03-06-2012, 12:22 PM
http://patriciacorrell.blogspot.com/

I made some paper bag puppets for my boy (see above link with photo).

I originally only made one, but when I informed him that Pai Mei was a naughty guy, he demanded a good guy so they could fight.

He can now say, "I am a kung fu master!" and "Tiger style!" And he makes kung fu noises worthy of Bruce Lee. Ahhhhhh-ha!

:lol:

I suspect that whoever ends up teaching him will be singing his praises.

I have a cousin with 2 boys, oldest is nearly 3 and the youngest is around 9-10 months old (crawling). Older cousin adores his younger brother and even proceeded to tell his mummy off for not putting a blanket on his baby brother (then went and got it himself :lol:) when he was younger.

I also have a friend with an 18 month old daughter who is insanely adorable. The daughter has also received her first doll and has been playing 'pretend' with it (even "wiping" its nose :lol:). Friend herself is pregnant with her ex-boyfriend's child and has not had a good pregnancy so far (really really bad morning sickness). The other night when my friend was lying on the couch still feeling ill, her daughter started tucking a blanket over her and patting her back. Very cute :D

Another friend of mine has a 4-year-old daughter (she was a teen mother). A quote from her verbatim:

Friend: <daughter>, you need to come jump in the shower cos the doctor won't see stinky kids
<daughter>: he will see me cos I'm beautiful :)

:lol:

AnaKhouri
03-06-2012, 09:39 PM
Awww the sibling stuff is so sweet. It almost makes me want to have another one. No wait, it doesn't. But it's still cute. ;)

mlmama
03-06-2012, 10:32 PM
Ok, I have to tell on my 15 (14 at the time) year old. Last year we are talking about random life stuff, and she starts complaining about something hurting on her leg or something. I tease her, "oh, you're just a hypochondriac, it's growing pains!" She got a really pouty look on her face and said like a 4 year old, " YOU'RE a hyper-condri-at!" With that look and the hurt tone in her voice, I KNEW she thought it was something really bad! I was laughing for about 2 minutes before I could tell her what it meant! Now it's a joke if anyone says anything real or fake about being in (very little) pain, "You're a hyper-condri-at!"

AnaKhouri
03-12-2012, 08:25 PM
My son found a plaster St. Francis statue in the backyard. It must have been placed in the garden by the previous homeowners.

He brought it inside. Since then St. Francis has, perhaps unsurprisingly, joined the Superhero Squad.

He misunderstood when I told him St. Francis gave all his money away to poor people, so the first order of business was for the squad the catch the naughty poor people who took all St. Francis' money.

I have yet to correct him on this because it is hilarious.

fireheart
03-12-2012, 11:58 PM
My son found a plaster St. Francis statue in the backyard. It must have been placed in the garden by the previous homeowners.

He brought it inside. Since then St. Francis has, perhaps unsurprisingly, joined the Superhero Squad.

He misunderstood when I told him St. Francis gave all his money away to poor people, so the first order of business was for the squad the catch the naughty poor people who took all St. Francis' money.

I have yet to correct him on this because it is hilarious.

That is hilarious. At least he has a good imagination. :D

Also, I can see a saint joining the superhero squad. :D

fireheart
03-15-2012, 07:59 AM
Another one from my English tutor. Short background: said tutor is very tall (around six foot three).

He is/was a primary school teacher, mainly focused on the lower years, but he also was capable of teaching Spanish. When was out in the yard talking with parents, he'd sometimes get little kids trying to get his attention the way little kids do-tug on the pants or a pat on the leg. Unfortunately because of the height issue, sometimes he'd get little kids patting him on the crotch to get attention....right in front of the parents! :eek::lol::eek:

AnaKhouri
03-15-2012, 07:23 PM
:eek::lol:

On height, my mom is a teacher and is about 5"2 and turns 60 next week. She said kids equate height with age (which makes sense I guess) so they always think she is younger than the taller teachers, some of whom are 30-35 years younger than her, She says she doesn't mind. :p

fireheart
03-15-2012, 07:58 PM
:eek::lol:

On height, my mom is a teacher and is about 5"2 and turns 60 next week. She said kids equate height with age (which makes sense I guess) so they always think she is younger than the taller teachers, some of whom are 30-35 years younger than her, She says she doesn't mind. :p

I thoroughly expect to be called old when I go to my placement in around six months (I'm only 21).

FuzzyKitten99
03-15-2012, 09:10 PM
I had to post a video since describing this whole thing isn't as funny as watching it. These are my two boys. Nathan is 8 and Ben is 5.

Ben is the one yelling at Nathan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhiwoOfRWsQ

Redbeard
04-01-2012, 11:07 PM
"You better run away!"
Priceless!

AnaKhouri
04-02-2012, 12:50 AM
Background: We went to Mom's for her birthday. We had cake and ice cream. We brought cake back to eat at home the next day. I gave Khan his piece.

Khan: Want ice cream with my cake.

Me: We don't have ice cream.

Khan: Grandma Jane has ice cream.

Me: She does at her house, but we don't have any here.

Khan: Want to go to Grandma Jane's house.

Mishi
04-03-2012, 11:00 PM
Bubbles: "Oh yes, I do like to eat grass."
Me: "Lettuce darling"
Bubbles: "Nuh-uh, is grass. Om nom nom!"

(Rugz used to call spinach 'grass' when he was little, and is known for asking "Can I please sleep over at your place tonight Nanny? But, we're not eating grass again, are we?")

Jazzy is currently singing "Old MacDonald had a toilet" at the top of her lungs and bellylaughing about all of the poo.

fireheart
04-03-2012, 11:43 PM
Jazzy is currently singing "Old MacDonald had a toilet" at the top of her lungs and bellylaughing about all of the poo.

How does that go again? :p

Mishi
04-03-2012, 11:46 PM
:lol: She sung a verse about the toilet (going flush! flush!) then moved onto the animals. Apparently, they have the abilities usually demonstrated by SC's in a public restroom. Both girls have now moved onto a 'Trololol' mashup. It's mixed with The Smurfs theme, The Simpsons theme and a bit of Alestorm's "You Are A Pirate".

fireheart
04-04-2012, 01:01 AM
:lol: She sung a verse about the toilet (going flush! flush!) then moved onto the animals. Apparently, they have the abilities usually demonstrated by SC's in a public restroom. Both girls have now moved onto a 'Trololol' mashup. It's mixed with The Smurfs theme, The Simpsons theme and a bit of Alestorm's "You Are A Pirate".

:roll:

La la la la la Smurf along with me
Trolol lol lol lol lol, You are a pirate?

evilfarmer
04-04-2012, 01:27 AM
Way back when my oldest sister P was little my mom left her with my granddad Poppo and when she came home he was laughing his head off and almost couldnt tell mom what happened.

After she left P had a banana and poppo asked for a bite so being a good girl offers him some. He took a big bite and completely dead paned P said "Son of a Bitch he ate the whole thing"

fireheart
04-08-2012, 02:19 PM
A friend of mine's 3yo girl said that one of her pets was having Miffy for dinner (as in the bunny-it was Easter Sunday today). I didn't know whether to :lol: or :eek:

AnaKhouri
04-08-2012, 11:59 PM
I hate Miffy. I used to daydream about an army of mouthless cloned rabbits coming to kill us all. >shudder< (Yet I love Hello Kitty, weird, huh?).

I bought a new metal CD and was listening to it in the car. Part of the song was done in a death growl. As soon as the death growling started, Khan sat up in his seat and said wonderingly, "A giant is singing!"

MnR
04-09-2012, 04:50 AM
I have one from my niece and one from me as a curious child.

When my niece was little, we'd sit her in a high chair at the table when all of us would play poker. None of us are angels when it comes to our mouths and frequently would string a few curses together when we'd lose. Well she wanted a few cards to play with too, so we gave her the two joker cards. As we all laid down our cards, she threw hers down onto the table and uttered her first word. "Shit!" :roll:

As for me, when I was a toddler I became very curious about what was on the inside of the wall. So.. I began to dig a hole in the wall next to my bed with a metal nail file my mom had dropped. I wasn't caught until the hole was softball sized and the wall was full of any toy I could fit behind it. When questioned about it, I sighed and said, "Well DAD, I wanted to know what was on the other side!" As far as I know, the toys are still in the wall. LOL

Redbeard
04-27-2012, 07:14 PM
My niece Sissy has gotten her first big modeling gig, so instead of being paid goods or services, Little Sis is recieving a decent amount of money (which is being sent straight to the account for Sissy when she's old enough to understand money).
While on the way back from meeting with the agent, Little sis tells Sissy "don't forget to remember me when you're all big and famous, Sissy!"
Sissy's response "Oh, I've already forgetten you" and goes back playing her hand held with a the biggest shit eating grin you've ever seen on a 7 year old.

The snark is strong in this one.

AnaKhouri
04-29-2012, 04:39 AM
Khan has been thrilled lately because with the new Avengers movie coming out, there is superhero merchandise EVERYWHERE. So I tried to show him the movie trailer on Youtube, saying, "Look! Here's the REAL Avengers!" (I'm kind of twisted).

He shook his head. "No, I want to watch the REAL superheroes on Superhero Squad!" (an animated series)

His concept of the universe seems backward from everyone else (animation = real, real people = not real). I can only conclude this is somehow my fault.

fireheart
04-30-2012, 03:20 AM
:lol: Probably because there's no Doctor Doom in the Avengers movie. :p

aaaaaand next chance I get with my little cousins, I am going to geek them out as much as I can. :p

AnaKhouri
04-30-2012, 08:12 PM
Oh, his allegiances change constantly. He dropped Doctor Doom for Thor, and has now kicked Thor to the curb for Iron Man and Beta Ray Bill.

Today:

Khan (2 years old): "Mommy, do you have a penis?"

Me: "No, only boys have penises. Girls don't have them."

>pause<

Khan: "That's okay Mommy, it's not your fault." >pats my arm comfortingly<

Me: :roll:

fireheart
04-30-2012, 10:35 PM
:lol: I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that.

fireheart
05-09-2012, 01:43 PM
A friend of mine has a roughly 4-5 month old son.

Apparently according to him, watching his daddy hiccup is the funniest thing on earth. It makes a good time for his daddy to put food in his mouth though :lol:

AnaKhouri
05-09-2012, 07:26 PM
Kids think the weirdest things are funny. I thought it was just Khan inheriting our collected senses of humor until I saw more kids and realized they are ALL weird.

Mishi
05-09-2012, 11:26 PM
Fake sneezing as well!

I love Jazzy's honesty: "Mama, the other day I dropped Silver on the ground when I was trying to take her for a walk. It's okay, I put her back in the tank before Danny could eat her and she didn't die. I just wanted to tell you because it was probably naughty."

The other incident which she has explained in great detail: "I thought that the fishies might like to go for a boat ride, because they're pets and they won't ever have a chance to go for a ride on a real fishing boat because they're not for eating. I got soaked while I was trying to help them stay on my toy boats, Goldy and Silver really liked it. Oh don't worry, I tipped the boats over every now and then so that they could breathe! Cup of Tea kept hiding, I don't think that he wanted to go on the boat but I tried really hard to catch him and that's why the floor is wet.

fireheart
05-10-2012, 02:40 PM
Well, I start my swim teacher training next week.

I suspect that I will have some silly kid stories by the end of it.

One from when I was waiting for my short face-to-face intensive to start, involved a little girl (roughly 2) who was loving the water, then threw a huge fit when mummy tried to get her out of her bathers and into a nappy (diaper). Little girl screamed, started crying and then when mummy FINALLY managed to get her swimsuit off, she decided to go streaking down the viewing area towards the front of the swimming school. :lol:
Thankfully it was just them, me and the staff!

AnaKhouri
05-10-2012, 08:27 PM
Khan found a 'marvel' (marble) on the playground. Last night he wanted to sleep with it. Daddy said no, because it would fall out of bed and get lost. Khan protested vigorously. I finally got the idea to put the marvel in a playing card box, which was large enough that it wouldn't be easily lost.

I checked on him last night to find him sleeping with Tawky Tawny (his tiger) in one arm and the box clutched securely to his chest. :lol:

Anglesmith
05-12-2012, 02:13 AM
This last Christmas, as all of my family gathered at my Aunt's, we were waiting to open gifts till everyone had arrived. So as the youngest, my six year old cousin, Roselynn was really anxious to open her presents. She kept going back to the tree, looking at the fits, and running back to her mom.
At one point she goes to look at the gifts again, and comes back in to all of us and asks her mom, "Mom, there's presents under the tree for K***a. Who's K***a?" Her mom and I looked at her and said "Roselynn, K***a, is K.K.'s real name." Que Roselynn's expression :jawdrop::jawdrop:

She's always called me K.K., which has been a family nickname for me since I was born. I blew her mind.

fireheart
05-13-2012, 08:27 AM
I spent a little bit of today with my distant relatives. One of them has two children: a 3-year-old and a six month old.

Today I got to meet the six-month-old for the first time.

So I'm going "Hello there, aren't you a little cutie?" He looks at me with a "huh?" expression on his face, then looks at his mum like "Am I meant to do something here...?"

:lol:

ETA: A friend of mine has a 3-year-old daughter. She's the kid who calls every female she meets "mum" and the men "dad". :p

Apparently the other night she was cuddled up with her cat, singing "Soft Kitty" from Big Bang Theory to him.
On top of that, she knows the words to the theme song from Big Bang Theory.

:p

AnaKhouri
05-14-2012, 02:28 AM
Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur...:p

Khan: "I need to go to the hospital."

Daddy: "Why?"

Khan: "My head hurts, my foot hurts, my toes hurt, and my tummy hurts."

Daddy: "Wow, what happened?"

Khan: "I made too much power." >lies down<

(they'd been playing superheroes, so Khan had been 'making powers' all afternoon)

fireheart
05-14-2012, 02:33 AM
Got another one involving my two distant cousins (the ones I mentioned in my previous post).

The older one (the 3 year old) was wriggling around with his daddy and enjoying time with him. Just as I'm getting ready to say goodbye to everyone, I suddenly hear this massive CRASH and I turned around, thinking that someone had broken a plate or something.

Nope, turns out that 3-year-old cousin had crawled under the table and banged his head coming up. He cuddled into daddy for a moment, then once I'd retrieved my boyfriend from his "man time" and was about to head out the door, he was quite happily reaching for the shortbread cookies on hte table :p

Redbeard
05-22-2012, 06:20 PM
So, we're in Salt Lake over the weekend, we go out to dinner. While we're there, my 10 year old nephew holds up the drinks menu and goes “This one, uncle Redbeard!”. I see that it’s the adult drinks menu, and I tell him “That’s for grown ups, buddy, not for kids”. “No, it’s for YOU”
His answer when I asked why that drink?
“Because it’s got RUM, of course!”
I shed a tear of joy, it was such a wonderful moment.

Mishi
06-13-2012, 10:18 AM
Bubbles ran up to me the other day and said: "Excuse me, mummy? I want to be naughty!"

AnaKhouri
06-13-2012, 12:46 PM
"Welll darling....no." :lol:

Last night Khan got out of bed, climbed over his gate (which became useless once he hit 40 inches in height) and came into our room. As he climbed into bed with us, he said, "I'm sorry Mommy, I didn't see you there. I bumped into you."

God, even when he's aggravating he's still cute.

smfrazier
06-14-2012, 03:09 AM
When I was about 3 or 4 I use to play with the pots and pans under the counter. One day I asked my mother "What's this?" She said it was a flour sifter. But I heard it as "flower" sifter.

Later that day my mother pulled out the flour sifter and found it full of crushed up dandelions that I had picked up form the back yard. She said "Did you do this?" I said yes. "Why?" I said "Well you said it was a "flower" sifter. :lol:

Thankfully she didn't get mad. She thought it was hilarious.

AnaKhouri
06-14-2012, 08:01 PM
Son: "Mommy, I'm Green Lantern!"

Me: "That's cool."

Son: "And you're Kilowog!"

Me: "I thought we were past making Mommy be the big ugly guy."

Son: "No. You're Kilowog."

>sigh<

fireheart
06-23-2012, 03:59 AM
This morning I had training with the Level 1 kids. Most of them are age 4.

At the end of the lesson we take the kids out to do some jumps into the deep end. One important factor is that they MUST get out of the pool by themselves if they can. We'll help them and encourage them, but they need to get out by themselves eventually.

Today I was helping with one kid and as I'm helping him up, I'm going "Use your muscles big boy" and he goes "I lost one muscle" followed shortly by "I lost all my muscles" :roll:

AnaKhouri
06-23-2012, 03:44 PM
This evening when my son finally sat down to look at a book by himself (for the first time all day), I lay on the floor beside him.

Boy: "Mommy, are you sick?"
Me: "No, I have a bad sunburn and I'm tired, but I'm not sick."
Boy: "Why are you tired?"
Me: >snort<

Redbeard
06-23-2012, 11:02 PM
A classic Mister Peanut story.
Peanut is austistic, and like many kids with his type of autism, it took longer to potty train him than average.
When he was a bit past 3 Little Sis has taken him and the other kids to the Childrens Museum, when Peanut starts pulling on her sleeve. About the same time she smells a STENCH...
"Mama! Mama!"
"Yes, Peanut?"
"Did you put poopy in my pants?!"
Keep in mind this was said with the most best "I'm going to destroy the world" little kid smile you've ever seen.

fireheart
06-24-2012, 02:59 AM
Another gem I just thought of from training.

Because there isn't always a Level 1 class on, I've been sitting in on Level 2 and 3 classes. At Level 3, the kids are introduced to backstroke arms.

One of the kids the other day asked us when we were going to do some REAL backstroke while we were in the middle of doing said stroke. O.o

Cue the instructor and me going "This IS real backstroke!" :lol:

Mishi
06-24-2012, 03:22 AM
"I can has cold toast with seeds and fairies for lunch, please?" :lol:
(Fairy bread, made with still-frozen grainy wholemeal bread)

Jazzy, defiantly: "Mum, I'm wearing my pajamas all day and when it's time for my shower, I'll put new ones on and then I'll read a book and go to bed!" Should have seen her face when I told her that IS what school holidays are for. :p

cashierbex
06-24-2012, 03:46 PM
I have one of myself-short n sweet:

Apparently when I was little, I would say pancakes made me angry. Dunno why, but it always pissed off my dad :roll:.


Now for my 5 year old nephew:

His grandma: Hey *nephew* do you like me in this skirt
Nephew: Its looks weird, but a good kind of weird.

My roomie: What does a platypus say
Nephew: A platypus doesn't exist cause it is a bitch :eek: (he only curse around us :lol:)

Me: Say Percy (when Clash of the Titans came out I was explaining the story to my roomie. Yes I know the name is not Percy, thats all my nephew heard)
Nephew: *Says Percy in a way that sounds like another term for a lady part. Use your imagination*

Now we get him to say random phrases with the word Percy. We are so bad :roll:.

Mishi
06-25-2012, 11:57 AM
Now we get him to say random phrases with the word Percy. We are so bad :roll:.

*Smirks* You're not alone, I have trouble not giggling when Bubbles accidentally mispronounces 'Fat Controller' because it ends up sounding like 'Fat C*** Roller' or 'F***ed Troller'.

Redbeard
07-20-2012, 11:30 PM
Mister Peanut, as with many autistic kids, has an innate dislike of clothing.
Apparently he's taken to stripping in the middle of shopping trips....

wolfie
07-21-2012, 02:55 AM
When I was about 3 or 4 I use to play with the pots and pans under the counter. One day I asked my mother "What's this?" She said it was a flour sifter. But I heard it as "flower" sifter.

Later that day my mother pulled out the flour sifter and found it full of crushed up dandelions that I had picked up form the back yard. She said "Did you do this?" I said yes. "Why?" I said "Well you said it was a "flower" sifter. :lol:

Thankfully she didn't get mad. She thought it was hilarious.


Sounds like the one about the very angry European explorer "tearing a new one" for his native bearer with a speech impediment.

Native bearer: But you thaid it wath a pith helmet.:eek:

fireheart
07-21-2012, 05:53 AM
I have one gem from swimming training today:

At the start of the lesson, the kids go jumping up to the end of the lane, to get used to the fact that their feet will leave the floor of the pool and they won't sink. Then we get them to turn around and hop back on one leg.

Cue one of my kids today, "I'm hopping on two feet!" :lol:

AnaKhouri
07-22-2012, 10:56 PM
At the zoo we pass a water mister, which sprays out clouds of droplets onto the path.

Khan: "It's shooting sleeping gas!"

(remember one of his favorite Spider-man villains is Mysterio)

It probably didn't help that every time we saw one after that I ran to it then pretended to collapse on the ground, snoring.

fireheart
07-23-2012, 12:51 PM
One of my kids today (started my prac officially today):

Kid: Can we call you <Dr. Who character who I share my first name with>?

I got this about five times today. >.>

fireheart
07-26-2012, 09:47 AM
This one made me laugh today. Basically, at the school I'm at, the kids stay in the same class with the same teacher from Classes One through Seven.

WAYYYYYYY back in Class Two, the teacher explained to the class that she couldn't take them out on a short unscheduled excursion due to the ratio needing to be 1 adult for every 10 children. So she made a rule, that if there were 10 people or less in the class one particular day, she would take them down to the local shop to get a milkshake. That of course, never happened because there were always more than 10 kids.

She never got asked about the question, until today for some weird reason, when one of the boys knocked on the window and asked us that during pre-class preparation for her and me.
Then once IN the classroom (with a near-full class, we were down one), the same kid asks "Since <fireheart> is here, can we go and get a milkshake?" :lol:

While theoretically we COULD have, the teacher had to decline because she'd promised it to them with just her and not me included. :p

Mishi
07-26-2012, 10:29 AM
(Background: Our girls know the names of certain body parts but we use the word 'bits' as an inoffensive and non-gender specific term.)

On our way home from school, I saw a flock of galahs and pointed them out to the girls. Bubbles saw them but Jazzy wasn't quick enough and asked me to describe them so that she could look out for more. I said "They're medium sized grey birds with pink bits on them" and the girls dissolved into giggles. I had a laugh too, and then rephrased it as "They're medium sized grey birds with a pink head, chest and belly. As with most other birds, we can't easily see their bits as they're hidden."

Yes, they're been giggling all afternoon about it. :p

fireheart
08-01-2012, 08:12 AM
A friend of mine is off on HER placement, however she has a lower primary class.

One of her kids today wore her nightie under her school jumper. When asked why she said "it'll be easier to change when I get home later". :lol:

She also had a kid trying to sell her "raffle tickets" for $2, then when she suggested to the kid that he go and ask his classmates, he looks at her and says "They don't have that kind of money!" :roll:

rose_metal_nz
08-02-2012, 12:28 AM
OK, I'll share one (from when MiniMe was still a toddler):

We were going thru the game of "what sound does a [animal] make?"
Cows go moo, ducks quack, etc.
Then "What sound does a frog make?"
Her: "Ribbit ribbit"
Me: (deliberately looking confused) "Then what sound does a rabbit make?"
She stops, confused. "They don't make a sound!"
Me: (teasing) "Yes they do! What sound does a rabbit make?
Her: "Rabbit! Rabbit!"
Me: (laughing) "So what sound does a frog make?"
Her: "F-frog! F-Frog!" and started hopping around, frog-style.

To this day we still use "f-frog!" as a giggle :lol:

AnaKhouri
08-02-2012, 12:51 AM
Khan (who turned 3 today!) is playing with his new superhero toys. He is putting Catwoman to bed.

Me: "Did she brush her teeth?"

Him: "No, she's a naughty lady."

Me: "Then I guess she doesn't get a bedtime story."

Him: "Superman will read Catwoman a bedtime story. He's our go-to guy."

fireheart
08-02-2012, 09:05 AM
Happy Birthday Khan! Also :lol:

AnaKhouri
08-06-2012, 03:30 AM
Held Khan's birthday party at the in-law's house. They have a farm.

The kids were playing 'farmer' (which involved throwing rocks at the side of the barn) when 3-year-old 'Ellie's' mom came to tell her it was time to go home.

Ellie: "But I'm a farmer and farmer's don't go home!"

MadMike
08-08-2012, 01:11 AM
My son is 18 now, but I have plenty of stories from when he was little. This is one of my favorites, because someone else got involved, and I think it made his day.

My son was 5, and my wife and I were living together, but not yet married or even engaged. The three of us were having lunch at Arby's one weekend. My son, just getting to know about body parts, and being somewhat obsessed over who had which ones and who didn't, turned to my wife, and blurted out, "You're just jealous because you don't have a pee-pee!" As he said it, a guy was walking past on his way to the men's room. He looked at my son, shot him a smile, and went inside.

My wife was horrified. She told him, "I can't believe you said that! And that guy heard you!" And then, in an attempt to lighten the mood, added, "I don't know how you guys walk with those things!"

Just as she said that, the same guy emerged from the men's room again. As he walked past us, he looked at my son and told him, "Tell her it gives us balance!" It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything at that moment.

=====================================

Another one I thought of from about 30 years or so ago. This takes place in the early 80s, when the movie E.T. was still in theaters. I was 13, and my brother Jason would have been 9 going on 10. One of my dad's friend's stopped by with his oldest daughter, who is a year younger than my brother, so she would have been about 8.

They had just come back from seeing E.T., and the little girl was going on and on about the part where Elliot called his older brother "Penis breath", like it was the funniest thing in the world. OK, my brother and I laughed too when we saw it, but she just would not shut up about it. Finally, her father had enough and asked her, "Do you even know what a penis is?"

She looked at him and asked, "What?"

"It's what Mike and Jason have and you don't!"

She got this horrified look on her face and said, "Oh..." She never mentioned it again after that.

fireheart
08-10-2012, 07:15 AM
Another one from my friend today (quote from Facebook):

I was on yard duty today and came across one of my 5-year-olds who, at his own request, had been buried up to his head in the sandpit. And the older kids were trying to charge everyone $1 to see him, the "marvelous spectacle"!

:lol:

ETA: She had a talk with the class afterwards about why the idea was dangerous. The best response was: "He can't power up through the sand because he's not superman!" :roll:

AnaKhouri
08-10-2012, 08:39 PM
My husband has conspired to turn my son into a raging Queen fan. So today in the car he asked to hear Freddie. I didn't have any Queen CDs, and when I informed of this he shouted, "Radio Gaga Radio Googoo Radio Blahblah! I wanna hear Radio Gaga!"

I thought of showing him our DVD of the famous Wembley Stadium concert, but just in time remembered that Freddie had quite the sailor mouth on him. :rolleyes: So I showed him a Youtube video of the Wembley performance of the above-mentioned song.

Khan: "Freddie took his shirt off!"

Me: "It, um, gets hot under all those lights. He was too hot."

Khan: "Freddie is hot!"

Me: "Lots of people thought the same thing, love."

agirlfromnowhere
08-13-2012, 01:19 PM
Kids are so funny :lol:

Anyways, I took my little sister (13 years younger) to kindergarten one day (this was about 9 years ago. She's 14 now.) and there was this 5 or 6 year old kid singing "It's Getting Hot in Here" by Nelly. That just cracked me up.

Now for some things my sister did. This wasn't funny at the time but now its hilarious to me. She was 3 or 4 and she took a pair of scissors to one of my favorite skirts that was relatively expensive (for a 15 year old anyways) that I had bought at the Gap and they didn't carry it any more. The funny part though is she said in the cutest voice "Sissy do you like it? Isn't it cute?" :rolleyes:

And when she was 2 or so my stepdad's brother brought her a boston terrier puppy (best dog we ever had, but that's a different story.) And she promptly said "I don't want it!" and threw it in the trash can. :lol:

And when she was 6 I was about to move 40 miles away because I had got a job in that town. I was trying to explain to her that it was a good job and I had to go. She said "But sissy, can't you just get a job at Kroger?" with tears in her little eyes. I actually thought about it for a few minutes :o

Mishi
08-21-2012, 09:21 AM
Over dinner tonight.
Bubbles: "It's not fair!"
Rugz: *rolls eyes and sighs* "Nothing is ever fair with you two." (Meaning that he's tired of the 'Its unfair!' stage)
Jazzy: "Well you should have thought of that BEFORE you had kids!"

fireheart
08-21-2012, 11:16 AM
We were going thru the game of "what sound does a [animal] make?"


Thank you for reminding me of a funny story I remember from WAY back when I was in Year 10 and doing Work Experience (at least in my state, every public school kid does a week of Work Experience in Year 10, then can arrange to do more in Years 11 and 12). I did mine at a daycare (along with about 50% of the girls in my year). I mostly floated with the toddlers and kindy kids. (so 2-4.5 year olds)

We have no idea WHERE this one came from, but apparently this particular kid was raised on a farm and had seen a rabbit being skinned. She was also 2.

So whenever you played the "What sound does the animal make" game, we'd get to

"What sound does a rabbit make?" or alternately "What does the rabbit do?"
She would ALWAYS, and I mean always go "kreeeeek" and mime a rabbit being skinned :eek: Even when I was reading her a story and she saw rabbits appear, she'd do the exact same thing.

The staff were in hysterics.

The kid is around 8-10 years old now. I wonder what happened when she went to school :p

AnaKhouri
09-20-2012, 09:48 PM
One day Khan called me a 'dirty rascal' (it's from a Robert Munsch book we read). I told him it was not kind to call people names.

From then on he takes fiendish delight in pointing at me and saying, "Mommy, you're NAMES!" :rolleyes:

fireheart
09-20-2012, 10:38 PM
:lol:

A friend of mine has a 2-year-old girl who is about to also have a baby brother (she's going in for a planned C-section on Monday since her previous birth was way overdue and her doctor didn't want to run the risk of inducing her or a VBAC). At the moment, she's been having some very cute moments, such as:

-The other night my friend put her to bed, then five minutes later, kid comes out with a blanket over her head since she believes that mummy can't "see" her. :p
-Kid eats an ant (:eek:) and it bit her. When she finally managed to get the ant off of her, she walked over to the ants, pointed at them and said "Naughty", then ran away. :lol:
-She accidentally rode her (powered) quad bike into the bushes and keeps asking when the bushes are gone. :lol:
-Kidlet also received a baby born for her birthday. She announced on the day she got it that it was her baby brother.

Mishi
09-26-2012, 12:26 AM
@Fireheart: What a cutie! :love:

Last night, the girls were playing school:

Jazzy - "Dad, I was using my scissors and as you can see, I made a 2-D shape. Can you tell me what it is?"

Rugz - "Wait...you know the difference between 2D and 3D shapes!?"

Jazzy - "Yeah, we learnt about them in maths groups. Now, can you identify this shape please?"

Rugz - "It's a square. Now, what makes a 3D shape different to a 2D shape?"

Jazzy - "Well, they're fat..."

fireheart
09-26-2012, 09:36 AM
@Fireheart: What a cutie! :love:


Apparently when mummy DID go in for her C-Section, shortly afterwards, when she came to visit mummy and her new brother, she played with the bed control and caused her mummy's pain rating to shoot from a 0 to an 8. :lol:

But bubs is safe and sound and very adorable.

Oh and the first reaction to her new brother was apparently to steal his dummy. (pacifier) :roll:

As for my moment, I had one today. I'm starting a new unit and I was NERVOUS as hell. I'd just finished telling one of the kids to not do "chicken arms" (where they bend their arms while they're doing their strokes), then the instructor takes over to send the kids off.

Instructor: now where are we going this time?
Kid: the chicken rope!
Me: :roll: :o

AnaKhouri
09-27-2012, 08:45 PM
Daddy: "Almost bedtime. Why don't you go potty now?"

Khan: "But I wanna shoot laser beams!"

Me: "You can shoot laser beams while you're on the potty. It's called multi-tasking."

++++++++

Khan (seeing me put change in my wallet): "Money!"

He reaches for it.

Me: "No way dude, you already take all my money. What would you buy with it anyway?"

Khan: "Rabbits."

++++++++

Khan, seeing a daddy-long-legs: 'Look at that thing! I think it loves me."

Me: "O....kay."

Khan: "Hi, thing. I love you, thing."

Anglesmith
09-28-2012, 06:16 AM
When my younger niece was three, she took my hand, made me sit down and said "You sit there. I'm going to find something to shoot you with like daddy does in the desert." (Her dad works for Border Patrol)

Der Cute
09-28-2012, 06:36 AM
Noob's dad told me last night:
"He told me his butt itched... 'Daddy butt itchy go to Doctor?'"

fireheart
09-30-2012, 03:38 AM
Another one from my friend with the new baby:

Apparently her 2-year-old daughter keeps trying to mimic mommy and care for her baby brother. (who's about a week old) She tried to rock him and give him her dummy. :lol:

fireheart
10-04-2012, 04:38 AM
This was a real out of the mouths of babes moment.

Friend of mine has a 3-4 year old daughter (who will be known as mini Viking).
Mini Viking had already learned that cows give milk and beef, sheep give wool and pigs give pork, bacon and ham. She then asked her mum what dogs gave.
Friend tells mini Viking that dogs give friendship.
Mini Viking proceeds to shake her head and informs her that dogs give poop.

AnaKhouri
10-04-2012, 08:17 PM
Well, she's right. But then, so does everything else with a digestive system. :lol:

Khan (as Silver Surfer): "I hit you with SPARKLES!"

Me (as Wolverine): "I HATE sparkles!"

Khan: "But they make you pretty like a princess."

Me: "Oh, well when you put it that way..."

BearLeeBadenaugh
10-04-2012, 08:56 PM
Ahhh, sparkles. Makes me think of my brother in law(14 yrs younger than my wife) when he was eight. He and a few friends were playing superheros, unfortunately under the supervision of a textaholic 16yr old.

Spiderman's webs were gel shaving cream(actually shoots fairly far, wtf were they thinking?) and silver surfer raided the craft cabinet.....

old LARPer trick the birdseed missle, aka a handful of birdseed in full size sheet of paper towel....

prankster trick, same with flour.....

silver surfer, bit of flour and about a jar of glitter in each missle.

I should see if my FIL can send me some pics from back then.



So far, the best my son has done was stomping on two mcd's sweet n sour cups.

AnaKhouri
10-04-2012, 09:01 PM
Capri Sun packages are GREAT for that. Stomp on a full one and KAPOW!

Not that my angelic son has ever done that, instigated by his older friend. :rolleyes:

fireheart
10-08-2012, 11:16 AM
Friend with the 2-year-old (who shall be known as baby charmed) shared this little gem tonight.

She'd told baby Charmed to stay on the "little lounge" (one of those kids fold-out sofas) so she could settle down and get ready for bed. Well she's sitting on it and pushing it around with her legs so she's technically still "on" it.

Her baby brother has also become quite the poser in photos. :lol:

One of my high school almuni is now a father-of-two. He also works in the mines, so he misses his son growing up. Apparently his fiancee/wife sent him a photo where his (roughly 2-3 year old) son was sitting in the "armchair" area of their sofa set watching Giggle and Hoot. (the chairs are those "home cinema" style ones with the massive space in between to store things)

iPanda
10-08-2012, 02:41 PM
Oh god xD this forum made me remember. At work, this 5 year old runs up to me, "Today I jumped off the buss, today"
"oh did you? Be careful! You could get hurt"
"No no its okay because I jumped off the roof"
o.o "the roof??! Well, be careful! I don't want you to get hurt!!"
"its okay, cause I jumped off the roof and -- and the bus has a robot arm that catches you if you fall!"
"uh... Okay, that's great but remember to be careful"

I didn't know how to respond so I just kept repeating myself... I still don't know what he was talking about! Heh xD

FormerCallingCardRep
10-09-2012, 02:32 PM
According to my Grandson Bug, I am a bad Gamma and have to go to time out because Mommy has to come to work

fireheart
10-12-2012, 01:04 PM
Several of my classmates are mothers. A few of them have recent kids.

One of them bought her roughly 18-month-old kid in today. (tutor didn't mind)

The kid proceeded to do the following in the course of a 90 minute workshop:

-Scatter some counting blocks around near her mum.
-Put one of said counting blocks in my bag. :lol:
-Try to escape twice (I had to pick her up and bring her back to mum so she wouldn't trip over my laptop cord)
-chew on one of the smartboard "markers" (basically, the whiteboard has four markers: red, green, blue and black. The board registers that the first one picked up is the colour that's meant to be used, so for a while, the red and blue pens wrote with black "ink")
-drool all over her mummy's notebook.
-completely distract the tutor (which was quite cute)

So funny. :lol:

AnaKhouri
10-12-2012, 08:27 PM
Good thing you like kids. I would have been horribly irritated.

Today my kid and some other kid on the playground were playing knights and dragons. I talked them into playing Siegfried and Fafner. I convinced them it was a true story.

fireheart
10-13-2012, 12:00 AM
:lol: cute.

A former work colleague of mine is also a mum of 3 (she was actually pregnant while I was still there).
This is from her facebook page:

told <son> to put the rubbish in the bin in the toilet, he came back and said "mummy is not flushing down". OH NO. 0_0

Anyone want to guess where the rubbish went? :angel:

AnaKhouri
10-13-2012, 12:13 AM
Khan: "Where's the sun going?"

Me: "The sun doesn't move, it always stays in one place. But the Earth is moving and since we're on Earth, to us it looks like the sun is moving."

Khan: "It's going to the playground with its huge mechanical arms!" :D

Education fail. :p

fireheart
10-16-2012, 04:41 AM
:lol: very cute.

I remember an event that occurred when I was in Year 3 at school.

One of the girls in my class was a little bit...strange. Just in general she was strange.

Later on, I learned that she had lesbian parents, but that's NOTHING to do with her being weird I swear :lol:

Anyway, I remember we were busy sneaking through the gardens at school and she announces to me: "When I grow up, I want to be a lesbian like my mum!" :lol:

Quillsilver
10-16-2012, 05:06 AM
I don't have kids, and I am rarely around any, since most of our family lives hours away. This weekend, however, my husband's best friend visited us, bringing along his gf/fiance (they actually got engaged on the visit) and his 4-yr-old daughter, "Aurora" (not her real name). Aurora instantly attached herself to me. Trying to get her to sleep after the long trip (they arrived about 3 am), I took her in and let her lay down on our bed. My pugs, however, were too excited about the visitors to simply let us go to sleep - they stood outside the room sniffing and occasionally scratching at the door. Aurora finally got up and went over to the door, opened it, and told them to "Go get a job!"

********

Me (carrying her): Oof...I'm not used to carrying a munchkin!

Aurora: I'm not a munchkin!

Me: Okay...pipsqueak, then.

Aurora: I'm not a pipsqueak! I'm a Aurora!

A similar conversation with her dad involved him telling her she was his pillow and she responded "I'm not a pillow, I'm a people!"

*********

She spent part of the day watching Dora...I had to snicker when Dora was repeating the Spanish word for blue.

Dora: Azul!

Aurora: Atchoo!!

*********

We played with some of her toys...she wanted her kitty dating the puppy...then informed me that kitty's parents did not approve. Kitty called puppy on the phone to break up with him, then came over to his "house."

Me: Wait...I thought they broke up...why did she come over?

Aurora: She didn't want to break up. We just can't tell her parents!

Me: Oh, great...secret boyfriend. Your daddy is gonna have fun when you get older!

**********

Playing on the swing set at the apt. complex playground.

Aurora: Can I have a push?

Dad's gf (who she already calls Mommy) goes over to push her.

Aurora: No, I want her! (points to me)

Mommy: Okay, fine.

Aurora: But I still love you, Mommy!!

Mishi
10-16-2012, 05:34 AM
Nana J had the girls overnight recently and told Jazzy that she was going to keep them forever and ever since they're so good. Jazzy's response: "Oh silly Nanny! You can't keep me, I'm not your baby...I'm Mishi's baby!"

AnaKhouri
10-19-2012, 12:03 AM
My husband is carrying my son around the house on his shoulders. He keeps yelling, "Who run Bartertown?" and my toddler replies, "Master Blaster run Bartertown!"

So proud.

fireheart
10-19-2012, 05:01 AM
Conversation between one of my dad's cousins and her 3-year-old grandson (I've mentioned him before, he's the one with the 1-year-old brother):

Nana: <cousin> please dont jump on the lounge

Cousin:...just once nana ?

Nana:...No <cousin> we dont jump on the lounge

Cousin:...your no fun nana...your not my friend anymore :(

Nana: :lol: <pint-sized cousin> will be my friend

Cousin:...no he won't he is my brother!

fireheart
10-20-2012, 07:54 AM
Oh and another one I thought of today:

My former Zumba instructor (I gave up after I kept having anxiety attacks mid-class) has 2 kids aged around 5 and 3 at last count. One of them started school last term/this term(?) (she's one of the last kids to do a term 4 start ever, since from next year they're introducing a single-intake pattern across pre-schools and primary schools, where if you turn 5 on or before May 1st, you start in the first term of that year. If you turn 5 after May 1st, you start the following year.)

Apparently one of the things she learned at school was "Gangnam Style". And she proceeeded to teach her sister how to do it. Now both girls are doing it :lol:
(probably doesn't help that mummy also did Gangnam Style in her Zumba classes)

Mishi
10-20-2012, 07:59 AM
Apparently one of the things she learned at school was "Gangnam Style". And she proceeeded to teach her sister how to do it. Now both girls are doing it :lol:
(probably doesn't help that mummy also did Gangnam Style in her Zumba classes)

Ha! I love this :D
(Jazzy learnt an edited version for her Prep Grandparents Day)

fireheart
11-10-2012, 12:43 AM
So a bit of background with this one: my placement class DID have a pet frog, but it escaped. The teacher is planning on getting a new pet frog to show the life cycle.

Two of my students were sitting at the table at lunchtime one day, colouring in these multiplication wheels. Somehow the topic got onto pets and one of the girls pipes up with this gem:

"My brother has a dragon and he eats crickets and he said that if the crickets aren't fed, they can eat the skin of a frog to keep themselves hungry" or something like that. She then turned to me and went, "I wonder if our froggy ended up like that." She then turned to her friend and went :eek:

AnaKhouri
11-10-2012, 03:20 AM
All I can think is that maybe her brother has a lizard, maybe a bearded dragon? :confused:

Khan: "Bowser (his Super Mario toy) doesn't want to be King Koopa anymore so he's going to abdicate."

(this is what happens when you speak to your children like they're real people, not in ridiculous baby talk)

fireheart
11-10-2012, 05:58 AM
All I can think is that maybe her brother has a lizard, maybe a bearded dragon? :confused:

Yeah, he does.

NorthernZel
11-10-2012, 06:17 PM
I can't remember if I've told this one before, but I remember an exchange of words between me and Lil Zel when he was about 3½ years old (BG: we live in a condo complex where approx. 60 apartments share a large yard. The yard has a playground that have 2 sets of swings, one for babies/toddlers and one for preschool-sized kids and up):

LZ: Why can't I use the little swing anymore?
Me: Because the little swing set is for babies, and you're not a baby anymore.
LZ: How come I'm not a baby anymore?
Me: Well, um, you've grown... let me put it another way: The small swing is for sharing. It was set up by A & D's parents when they were babies. Once A & D were too big, it was M's turn to use the swing. When M grew older, it was your turn. And now it is time for you to let L use the swing, and once he's older it'll be his baby sister's turn. You see?
LZ: <pondering> You know, there'll be a time where I'm adult and can make my own decisions...
Me: Yes, it's true, but what does it have to do with...
LZ: So, when I'm an adult I'm gonna decide that I'm gonna be a baby again! And THEN I can use the little swing again!! BWAAHAHAHAHA!
Me: :eek: :confused:

NorthernZel
11-10-2012, 10:39 PM
Aaaand already tonight Lil Zel provided another gem after we watched the extended documentary re: Felix Baumgartner's epic space jump:

LZ: Wow, he really did jump from space. Could you be able to do that jump, Mom?
Me: Ha-ha-ha, no, I'm way to old and unhealthy for that.
LZ: Well, I think that adults that don't dare to do a space jump are wussies.
Me: Really? So, considering that you're afraid to even ride the kiddie rollercoaster, you're a wuss yourself?
LZ: AM NOT!
Me: Ok, uh-huh.
LZ: But thinking of it, that Felix guy was very brave. Now I see it, it was a long, looong jump. Suppose he missed the ground, he'd still be in space by now.
Me: (suppressing laughing fit and H2G2 reference that he wouldn't get anyway) Well, it could have been worse than that. Suppose he couldn't release his parachute?
LZ: Oh man, he'd get a major OWIE!
Me: :lol:

fireheart
11-12-2012, 05:39 AM
"My brother has a dragon and he eats crickets and he said that if the crickets aren't fed, they can eat the skin of a frog to keep themselves hungry" or something like that. She then turned to me and went, "I wonder if our froggy ended up like that." She then turned to her friend and went :eek:

I'm quoting myself for a reason.

Apparently the froggy was found dead today by another student (not in my class)

http://www.nusseymagazine.com/phpBB3Next/images/smilies/smiley_emoticons_segen.gif

So their idea was to hold a little service for it.

fireheart
11-13-2012, 06:03 AM
A few gems today from my students.

-In addition to the frog "service" yesterday, there has been a little memorial set up on one of the trees out near the classroom. There's a little popstick cross with the frog's name written on it and the kids have been leaving flowers at the burial site. This morning, 3 of my students started saying "prayers" to the frog while they were sitting cross-legged, hands pushed together at a 90 degree angle from their arms.

-One of my kids drew me a picture. :love:

-We had a relief teacher today, so the kids were slightly antsy. During a "busy work"/arts activity this afternoon (I say "busy work" because they were given a choice of 3 masks to colour in however they wanted, but "arts" because the follow-up activity with that same relief teacher is going to involve them creating their own play), two of my boys started acting up a little bit, much to the annoyance of two of my girls. The relief teacher comes over and explains to the troublemakers that they will be cleaning up:

Boy: but I'm too handsome to clean up. I can't damage this face!
Girl sitting across from him: Well if you're so handsome to clean up, your head should be sticking out of the wall on a plaque!

Well, not QUITE those words, but you get the idea. All the other kids (and the reliever) went "oooooooh" (burn). I'm just trying REALLY hard not to laugh at that. (No, I didn't tell her off either since it wasn't a direct insult and generally they don't bully one another)

AnaKhouri
11-13-2012, 11:53 PM
Husband and Khan are playing in the living room.

Husband just got hit with the Crazy Applesauce Ray.

FINALLY someone else gets hit with that shit. About damn time. :devil:

Flyndaran
11-14-2012, 04:32 AM
When I was a toddler, I noticed an odd coincidence of my immediate family. My mother and grandmother have brown eyes. My father, brother, and grandfather have blue eyes. I have brown, so naturally I asked my parents when I was going to become a girl.
Then again, one of my first halloweens I dressed up as my favorite super, Wonderwoman. :)

Flyndaran
11-14-2012, 04:35 AM
I wish I had a nice nickname like most of the kids mentioned here.
Mine was Pooper, because of my use of an unpleasant artistic medium.
One brother was Dopey because of his stick out ears. But he enjoyed doing the Disney face.

NorthernZel
11-14-2012, 04:38 AM
I wish I had a nice nickname like most of the kids mentioned here.
Mine was Pooper, because of my use of an unpleasant artistic medium.
One brother was Dopey because of his stick out ears. But he enjoyed doing the Disney face.

For my part, Lil'Zel's nickname is only used in here. In RL, he had/has several other more or less flattering nicknames :angel:

AnaKhouri
11-14-2012, 07:00 PM
Khan is Khan for two reasons: he is taller, stronger, smarter and handsomer than any other kid ;) (Star Trek reference) and also leaves a swathe of destruction behind him wherever he goes (Mongol reference).

fireheart
11-17-2012, 10:55 AM
The other day I had to go and pick up a hammer from the groundskeeper (no his name is not Willy :lol:) to repair some Geoboards (I am going to make some...eventually)

I come back wielding the hammer. one of my students goes "Miss Fireheart, please don't hurt me" and makes this pouty face. She knew I wouldn't hurt her, but just her facial expression was hilarious.

To her credit, the teacher played along once I handed her the hammer and the kids were engrossed with the virtual geoboard. :lol:

My mentor teacher also teaches dance to some of her students. Two of my students are in her dance group. They've been working on a routine to "Part Of Me" by Katy Perry. The other day I got to watch (they're actually fairly good) and the two kids were like "OMG, Miss Fireheart's watching us! I'm so embarassed!"

:lol:

Btw, for those who aren't familiar, a geoboard is basically a piece of wood with nails sticking out of it. Kids use the geoboards to create shapes or to explain other concepts, by stretching rubber bands around the nails.

fireheart
11-19-2012, 08:18 AM
So a group of my students stayed in at lunchtime today because it was that freaking hot (and two of them were complaining about headaches).

Somehow the topic got onto Gangnam Style and one of the girls announced that she knew what Gangnam Style was about (keep in mind that these kids are around 9-10 years old). Her words:

Student: "It's about how the guy wants to find a girl who wants to enjoy coff-"

Me: *chokes on my baked potato trying not to laugh* (the way she said "coffee" came out like "cock" to me)

Student: "It's about how the guy wants to find a girl who wants to enjoy coffee with him."

I then managed to redeem myself by explaining that it was a parody of the Gangnam district in Korea. :lol:

violiavampyr
11-22-2012, 01:06 AM
My daughter has always been very good about watching her language, even though her and I have so,e times used bad language around her. Whenever either of use would cus she would shout, "language!"
Then when she was about 3 one of the animals frustrated her, or something. I'm not sure. She called it a "baby head". After that whenever someone did something she didn't like she would call them a Babyhead.

Miss Maple Leaf
11-22-2012, 02:34 AM
I've got a few stories about my own childhood:

1) I was a toddler at the time, and I was sitting on my great-aunt S's lap. Now S was born on February 29th, so it's a joke in our family that she only gets a birthday once every four years. (She had her 19th birthday this year. She can finally buy alcohol. :lol:)

Anyway, I was bouncing up and down on her lap saying, "I wanna be a teenager! I can't wait to be a teenager!"
S smiled at me and told me, "You know, I'm a teenager." (she was in her early fifties at the time).
I looked up at her, thought for a second or two, and then declared, "I don't wanna be a teenager any more."
She still tells that story to people, all these years later.

2) Mom took me to the doctor's for a checkup, and instead of our regular doctor we saw his father instead, who was covering for him that day. His father had white hair, which I had never seen before (people go grey fairly early in my family, but take forever to turn white).
Apparently I was really smitten with his hair, because I declared it "pretty" and started petting it like a dog. :lol:

3) When I was four my grandmother took me to a Christmas pageant at the firehall. One of the organizers there was going around to kids in the audience and asking them if they wanted to get up on stage and sing. I, of course, jumped at the chance.

Small problem though. While the idea was to sing a Christmas song, I didn't know the complete words to any, so I sang the only song I knew all the words to: Take Me Out to the Ballgame. :o

Luckily, at that age I could get away with doing something like that. All the adults in the audience thought it was just precious. :angel:
Meanwhile, my mom just about died laughing when my grandmother told her about it later.

fireheart
11-22-2012, 04:40 AM
We had my kids writing reports today. Bear in mind that they're year 3/4 kids. Most of them are fairly well-behaved (and the kids who DO act up are generally the same 4-5 students). Their reports consist of the teacher filling out the academic side of things, but today they were self-assessing their social skills and the like, along with adding a comment about what they've been learning.

One kid today decided to write the following in his report after we'd edited it and told him he needed to add a bit more:

"<teacher> is a God because..." I can't remember the rest though.

Of course that had her in hysterics, then the kids next to him started pretending to worship her. :lol:

A lot of them have been adding in "Miss Fireheart is a good teacher" or similar...:lol:

AnaKhouri
11-24-2012, 01:47 PM
Son: "Mommy, my mac&cheese is too hot! Blow on it!"

My Stepdad: "You shouldn't talk to your mom like that. What's the magic word?"

Son: "Shazam!"

Me: >facepalm<

(to be fair, I have never used 'the magic word' in connection with 'please', I usually say, "Is that how you ask?" when he forgets to use it)

fireheart
11-27-2012, 06:31 AM
Today I had the following gems:

"My name is not <dark wood> it's Rose and I'm going to turn into a fruit!" (the kids have been doing life cycles)
5 seconds later: I don't wanna be a fruit, I'm going to turn into a piano!" O.o

My class is a combined Year 3/4 class and the Year 3's are putting together a finale piece for their assembly. Their challenge was to rap to a beat.
To prompt them, they had some lines of "Pencil, pencil rule it up" and so on. Of course, I got a bit too carried away....whoops!

Miss Maple Leaf
11-28-2012, 01:54 AM
When I was in grade six, I was one of the girls asked to watch the Grade Primary kids in the tot lot during the morning before school started and during recess (at the time, Primary kids went home at lunch, so I didn't have to watch them then).

Some of the kids in the class I was assigned to were just hilarious.

We had one boy that we dubbed "Casanova" because every few days we'd tease him by asking him who his girlfriend was, and he always said a different girl. He never said any of our names, which makes me think he just didn't like older women. :p

There was another boy, L, who hated having to hang his coat up, and was always trying to get us to do it for him. While we were there to help them if they needed it, we were also supposed to get them to learn to do such things themselves, so we would tell him no.
One day, the other two girls and I were talking while we were were waiting for the kids to put their things away and head into class when L walked up to one of the girls (whose name also started with L) and handed her his jacket. Since we were talking, she didn't even notice and just hung it up automatically. None of us even registered it.
He would have gotten away with it too if he hadn't stood there grinning up at her, looking rather pleased with himself.

When L(f) noticed that L(m) was standing there rather than heading into class she realised what had happened and felt annoyed that she had gotten tricked. I say he should have booked it as soon as the jacket was hung up. We would have been none the wiser.

fireheart
11-29-2012, 08:16 AM
One of my kids this morning during their English lesson:

"There once was a boy called Billy,
Who sat on a big fat willy"

*facepalm*

And yes, I made him change it.

AnaKhouri
11-29-2012, 07:24 PM
Khan learned our address by heart in 15 minutes. I sang it to him, and since he can memorize a song after two listens, he picked it up right away.

I wonder if I can set my phone number to Iron Maiden.

fireheart
11-30-2012, 07:58 AM
Marking some of my kids science work today, I came across one of my students writeups. He's a good kid, although he has some issues with spelling and comprehension. He is also only in Year 4. This made me laugh:

"We raped a cup with toilet paper."

He meant "wrapped" but seems to struggle with silent letters. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw his comment. I also know that it's an innocent mistake, but the wordplay just made me :lol:

(Oh and he DID understand the concept)

AnaKhouri
12-01-2012, 12:54 AM
On the car radio there was a very loud, cheerful-sounding ad for Hollywood Casino.

Khan: "Mommy, you can go to Hollywood Casino tomorrow and Daddy can watch me!"

Uh...even if I could afford it, I wouldn't...

fireheart
12-01-2012, 07:12 AM
@Fireheart: What a cutie! :love:

Last night, the girls were playing school:

Jazzy - "Dad, I was using my scissors and as you can see, I made a 2-D shape. Can you tell me what it is?"

Rugz - "Wait...you know the difference between 2D and 3D shapes!?"

Jazzy - "Yeah, we learnt about them in maths groups. Now, can you identify this shape please?"

Rugz - "It's a square. Now, what makes a 3D shape different to a 2D shape?"

Jazzy - "Well, they're fat..."

Thank you for reminding me of a conversation I had with my class about 3D shapes. We explored them in "families" (although we didn't explore spheres, cylinders, cones or a cube :() and for one of them I asked "What makes a prism unique".

The responses I got were:

-It's like a 2D shape that's been stretched out.
-It's a LONG 2D shape.
-It looks like cookie dough! :lol:


ETA: Another comment in someone else's science book.

Basically the kids were writing out things they'd need for the science experiments they're setting up. One of them has written "brains" in her list. :roll:

worddork
12-05-2012, 04:31 AM
Babysat my 6 month old niece on Saturday.

She's learned a new trick. When feeding her, grandma wraps a tea towel around her to keep the mashed peas off her onies. So I wrap the towel round Nugget, start to spoon her some peas, and as soon as it hits her tongue, she wipes the food off onto the towel.

I don't think she actually ate anything during that feed time.

AnaKhouri
12-18-2012, 12:46 AM
Khan: "To be like Mommy, you can be a typewriter. To be like Daddy, you can be a science boy. To be like Santa you can bring presents. To be like Batman you have to stay up nights."

fireheart
12-18-2012, 02:42 AM
Khan: "To be like Mommy, you can be a typewriter. To be like Daddy, you can be a science boy. To be like Santa you can bring presents. To be like Batman you have to stay up nights."

And to be like fireheart, you need to yell at kids who do naughty things :lol:

emax4
12-18-2012, 04:53 AM
A week ago I was in a local hardware store called Trader Horn. Sometimes you'll have a live person or prerecorded announcer come on and interrupt the music to announce some sale items. At the end of the message I heard, "And thank you for shopping Trader Horn: Your FAVORITE Store."

Down the aisle I saw a father with three kids and one of them loudly proclaimed, "It is NOT my favorite store!" I went over and told the Dad how funny that was.

fireheart
12-18-2012, 05:35 AM
In Rundle Mall, we have the following sculptures:

-Balls
-Pigs
-Kids playing (apparently...)

Far too often I see the kids trying to ride the pigs :lol:

AnaKhouri
12-18-2012, 07:50 PM
Down the aisle I saw a father with three kids and one of them loudly proclaimed, "It is NOT my favorite store!"

A couple months ago my mom and I took Khan with us to Kohl's, a department store-type place. As soon as we walked in, Khan looked around, scowled, and said, "This isn't a store for little bears! (I call kids little bears or hobbits) This is a store for mommies! NOW LET'S GO!"

Tanasi
12-20-2012, 09:51 PM
This past Sunday I was playing with my 6mo grand-daughter. She was in a bouncy chair sitting on the kitchen island. I was tickling her feet with my beard. She'd just laugh, giggle, squeal and wave her hands, we were have a big time playing. My youngest daughter came in and distracted me and my grand-daughter with both feet kicked me in the mouth and nose. Now I have a fat lip and a black eye. It's hard to live down getting beat up by a baby.

Shpepper
12-20-2012, 10:01 PM
I taught my stepson his Dad's phone number and our address using ASL signs. Every time we see him, he tells and signs his phone number and address. The sad part is that his mother will not teach him those things for her house.

His latest cute tale. We went out to look at Christmas lights. he said we were in Christmas land and he loved it. When we left that neighborhood, he started crying quietly. His dad asked what was wrong and he replied "That was so beautiful. and I cry when I am happy."

AnaKhouri
12-23-2012, 03:31 AM
Khan: "Daddy! We got you a present. It's a secret. It's a book!"

Me >facepalm<

fireheart
12-23-2012, 04:22 AM
Khan: "Daddy! We got you a present. It's a secret. It's a book!"

Me >facepalm<

:roll:

At least he didn't announce what book it was :roll:

fireheart
12-24-2012, 09:16 PM
From my cousin's 3-year-old son this morning while opening his present:

"I think it's a salad!" :lol:

(no, it wasn't-I do think it was lego)

ETA: Other gems from today with my 2 cousins (3 and 18 months old)

-I didn't hear this one fully, but apparently the 3-year-old threw a fit when he had to get out of the pool. His mum went to him "Yes we'll buy a new house with a pool" :lol:
-The 18-month-old kept bawling repeatedly today, although seemed happy to destroy his aunty (my cousin)'s quoits present. :p (she's also expecting, so we'll be having a 5-month old at Christmas next year!)
-The 18-month-old is quite happily walking and today decided to quite proudly display that by banging his head onto the corner of the table tennis table. (which was funny in a way because he was just quite casually walking along, then BONK!)
-3-year-old had his own little table and chair for Christmas lunch. It was quite cute. And just like the first Christmas with the 3-year-old (at the time 9 months), his brother threw a fit because he wanted to spend time with daddy.

-Not so much a silly kid moment, but my cousins from interstate came down today. My auntie (who tends to be one of the "bleach blonde frizzy hair cat-eye glasses, pink lipstick, "Give us a kiss love" type aunties) rallied them into dressing up as elves and handing out presents. Do I need to mention that they're all 18+ and were wearing tights? Cue the "men in tights" song from Robin Hood: MIT. :p

fireheart
01-12-2013, 12:11 PM
One from my 3-year-old cousin's son (so my second cousin):

How to Dance like my 3-year-old:

-Try to do a handstand on the floor. Repeat this while hopping around in a circle.
-Spin around until you are dizzy. Then rest on someone's leg. (which was my boyfriends :lol:)
-When the song (don't know the title but it goes "I'm just crazy about you bay---beh" and sounds like Eagle Rock) that sounds like Eagle Rock comes on, start trying to copy the Wiggles Dance of it (very funny)

How to Play Connect 4 the 3-year-old version:

-Pick up the giant rings that were being used for game pieces.
-Proceed to put them into the nearby fountain.

(This wasn't just the 3-year-old, we had several children there between the ages of 7 months and 3 years, from different families. So we had a 7 month old, a 15 month old, a 2 3/4 year-old and 2 3-year-olds. The 7 month old kept chewing on the pieces :lol:)

How to Play Draughts/Checkers the 3-year-old version:

-Proceed to pick up the giant pieces.
-Stack a tower with them (these were GIANT pieces, about the size of a lilypad)
-If you happen to be the almost 3-year-old, barrel into them and knock them over :lol:
-If you happen to be the almost 3-year-old, create a circular path with them and step on them like lilypads (nobody wanted to play the game since we didn't know the rules)

And finally, how to play pool the 3-year-old version:

-Help pick up the balls from the pockets (these were the string basket ones)
-Roll them all over the table.

I stopped him before he could interfere on this one. His idea of "darts" was to climb up on the chair near the dartboard and put them in (it was his mum's dartboard, it was electronic and nobody else was playing but I supervised him with the darts since they were plastic)

Luckily there were no tears with this one. On the other hand, his cousin threw a little tantrum at one point. (The other 3-year-old)

ETA: This is the website that shows the giant games. http://www.gardengames.com/giant-connect-4/ I am SO buying some of these for my special needs kids as a reward.

Caffienated_Caramel
01-12-2013, 02:07 PM
And finally, how to play pool the 3-year-old version:

-Help pick up the balls from the pockets (these were the string basket ones)
-Roll them all over the table.

:lol: My sister and I did that when we were kids.

Hmm silly kid stories...I posted one in a thread I made called ancient self sgithing a couple of years ago. It was the second one. Go take a gander and lol.

Being a hyper demon child that I was, there are many stories of me told by family members. The most famous ones are "War" "Shooting Star/Red Balloon" And "Marinated Chicken"

This one I'll regale that I call "Cheese"

I believe I was two and was going through swimming lessons at membership pool place. One of my Aunts or Mom had recently bought a video camera and was filming my sister, baby cousin and me.

I thought it was a regular camera. As in anyone who pointed a camera at me at the time, I stop what I'm doing, say 'cheese' until there's a flash or they go away and I go back to what I was doing before.

Only this time, the camera didn't flash or go away. Which I believe threw me into confusion. So I kept saying cheese at it until something would happen so I could go back to what I was doing (swimming).

It got to a point where after my lesson I was done, I'm yelling at the video camera "CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSE!!!!!!"

I think I gave up after awhile or until they went to film my sister or baby cousin. And I believe this video evidence still exists. :p

Andara Bledin
01-12-2013, 10:22 PM
One from my 3-year-old cousin's son (so my second cousin)
Totally OT, but that would be first cousin once removed. What type of cousin is based on how many generations back to get to siblings, and the removal is how many generations apart you are. Wikipedia has an incredibly useful chart (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin) for that. :D

Also, your 3-year-old cousin has a son?!? :p

^-.-^

fireheart
01-12-2013, 11:15 PM
Totally OT, but that would be first cousin once removed. What type of cousin is based on how many generations back to get to siblings, and the removal is how many generations apart you are. Wikipedia has an incredibly useful chart (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin) for that. :D

Also, your 3-year-old cousin has a son?!? :p

^-.-^

Oh har bar. She's 30. Her son is 3.

Because my family tends to get more distant the further back we go and because we all get along so well and are somewhat closeish in nature, I tend to refer to distant cousins as just cousins and great aunties and uncles just by their first names (with the exception of close relatives. It's quite odd sometimes to hear my cousins going "uncle Julian" (my dads name))

AnaKhouri
01-13-2013, 08:23 PM
My friend recently went on a low-sugar, gluten-free diet and put her entire family on it too.

Her 5-year-old son asked my toddler what his favorite food was. He said "Cheerios" (I'm not sure why as he doesn't actually like them all that much).

Her son earnestly explained to him that he couldn't eat Cheerios because they were not on the diet, because they were bad for you because there is wheat in them. He nodded sagely and instructed Khan to refuse any future Cheerios I should offer him. Khan sort of blinked and said, "Okay let's play ninjas!"

The funniest part to me for some reason is that he says 'dee-it' because they are Turkish.

AnaKhouri
01-15-2013, 07:05 PM
You can tell Khan has never seen Star Wars because today his Darth Vader toy took the TIE fighter to another planet where he proceeded to rob a jewelry store, then escaped to his secret headquarters.

fireheart
02-06-2013, 07:04 AM
So Darth Vader is Bane??? :lol:

AnaKhouri
02-06-2013, 08:22 PM
I was rereading the thing about your 3-year-old cousin (:lol:) having a son and felt like pointing out that the youngest person ever to give birth was all of 5.

Today at a museum exhibit this volunteer said, "So, are you going to be a farmer when you grow up?"

Khan said, "I'm not going to be a farmer. I am going to be a Power Ranger.'

...such confidence.

fireheart
02-06-2013, 10:26 PM
I was rereading the thing about your 3-year-old cousin (:lol:) having a son and felt like pointing out that the youngest person ever to give birth was all of 5.


Actually, both my distant 3-year-old cousins started preschool the other day. Basically, the intake used to be that you started preschool at age 4 then moved on to "big kid school" at age 5. This could be done at the start of each term. Now they've switched it so that if you're born BEFORE May, you start school when you're 4 and a half (turning 5 during the first two terms), while those who were born AFTER May start school the following year. This is the first year that the intake has been put in place.

(technically it can be called any number of names: preschool, kindy, kindergarten, CPC (Child Parent Centre))


I'm so proud of them. :D

fireheart
02-07-2013, 10:52 AM
Quote from a friend of mine's 5-year-old (I think):

"Why is there an Australia-flag flying up [on the wall of the community centre], doesn't everyone knooooow we're in Australia???"

FormerCallingCardRep
02-07-2013, 02:47 PM
This was posted by my Oldest Daughter. We all got a laugh out of this

Want proof that men are born that way?
My son is 90% potty trained. Accidents here and there and still touchy with bedtime. We took him out to dinner at Cracker Barrel and he told me he had to use the potty. Now, I've been working on aim, he decided to pee everywhere... I looked at him and said "Bug, can't you aim!?" "No mom, it's too heavy."

FormerCallingCardRep
02-07-2013, 10:44 PM
Another cute story posted by the Oldest.

A little background, her boyfriend drives long haul semi, leaving Monday morning and getting home on Friday evening. Bug calls him Pa.

Caught Bug spraying Pa 's cologne on himself. When I asked him why he said, "I miss Pa wanted to smell him." ... I think my toddler just broke my heart.

fireheart
02-08-2013, 06:13 AM
A line from one of my students today while we were eating lunch. I'm with the special needs kidlets who are all autistic. They are insanely adorable though. All of the kids are more or less verbal. One of them had tried to tell the teacher's aide that the room was too cold. So the teacher's aide said the words to him politely ("Excuse me <SSO> this room is too cold") To try and get them to practice using the terms. Shortly afterwards, the teacher had asked him what he was having for lunch. Somehow the poor kid got confused and said:

"Excuse me peanut butter."

Very cute. :love:

fireheart
02-11-2013, 08:00 AM
Two gems from my youngest students today (my class is special needs from kids who are in R-2/3. I have six kids). Let's call them girl student and boy student, who are both 5 (more or less). They're both autistic.

Girl student had been participating in a sorting and classifying activity involving blocks. She had sorted them by colour and we were praising her for it. She refused to participate in whatever we were doing BEFORE lunch and had resorted to playing with some farm animal toys. We look over and see that she's actually lined them up by animal (so she's got all the tigers together, lions etc.) SO cute. :love:

Boy student has some toileting issues, but does not need nappies/diapers. He gets taken home by taxi (accompanied by an aide) so he gets Pull-Ups as a CYA measure. Today I got stuck with the duty (no other teachers aide available and I legally can't be left alone with the students) of helping him into his pull-ups.
While he was at the sink he asked me "Fireheart, when I'm big, can I be a man?"
He then asked me if he could be Spiderman. :lol:

Luckily these kids are transitioning to having a student teacher in the classroom easily, so teaching in term 2 is going to be SO much easier. (It does also help that the SSO will partially take some lessons to allow the actual teacher to prepare the activity so the kids are used to having other teachers)

AnaKhouri
02-13-2013, 11:07 PM
We heard a radio ad for Arby's (a fast food place) located in Westchester, an area of Big City across the river from our little town (about a 40 minute drive).

Khan: "I want to go to Arby's in Westchester!"

Me: "There's an Arby's we can walk to. Westchester is pretty far away."

Khan: "Is it on another planet?"


The great part: this weekend we are going to IKEA, which happens to be in Westchester. I plan to find an Arby's, take Khan for lunch, and tell him we're on another planet. :devil:

fireheart
02-13-2013, 11:34 PM
We heard a radio ad for Arby's (a fast food place) located in Westchester, an area of Big City across the river from our little town (about a 40 minute drive).

Khan: "I want to go to Arby's in Westchester!"

Me: "There's an Arby's we can walk to. Westchester is pretty far away."

Khan: "Is it on another planet?"


The great part: this weekend we are going to IKEA, which happens to be in Westchester. I plan to find an Arby's, take Khan for lunch, and tell him we're on another planet. :devil:

Doesn't IKEA have their food cafe thingy? You could tell Khan that their lingonberry drink is alien blood. :lol:

Also, they have a delicious food market. I love their meatballs *drools*

fireheart
03-09-2013, 09:20 AM
New one from today. We were visiting a medieval group with several Viking members. One of them has a 3-4 year old kidlet (I lose count). We were following them back from a parade on the main road around the festival and the kidlet proceeds to tell thorgrim (my partner) that she doesn't like him and that she REALLY doesn't like him.

Later on we're at the campsite and as we're about to leave, she asks us if we're going to come back again and say hi. We found it hilarious given that she hated my partner five minutes prior! :lol:

FormerCallingCardRep
03-09-2013, 12:57 PM
Another story from my oldest about my Grandson Bug:

You know those moments as a parent where you can't laugh buy you're dying to laugh?

I made Bug a corndog with fries and Mac n cheese for dinner. As I'm making his plate I go to split the corndog in half.

Bug: DON'T DO THAT MOM
Me: Do what? (Normally he giggles and runs away just trying to distract me from whatever I'm doing.)
Bug: I don't like my weiner in half I like it big!

AnaKhouri
03-10-2013, 08:52 PM
:lol:

One night Khan was talking in his sleep so of course I listened in. He's obsessed with Super Mario Bros. right now.

Khan: "I love you M-"

Me: "Awww, he's tihnking about how much he loves Mommy."

Khans: "-Mario."


__________________________

2 a.m. He comes into our bedroom.

Khan: "Mommy, wake up and come in my room. I need someone to talk to."

fireheart
03-11-2013, 11:12 PM
Another conversation between a distant cousin of mine and his grandma. Quick note, "kindy" in this conversation refers to preschool. Generally the names vary between states (and documentation).

me.....How was kindy yesterday <cousin>?
<cousin>....awesome
me....it was awsome was it?
<cousin>...yes nana it was awesome now shhh i am watching cartoons

Luckily both of my older cousins are becoming geeks :lol:. While the one mentioned above plays soccer and likes to run around, he also likes Iron Man and the like. The other cousin is Lego-obsessed.

fireheart
05-04-2013, 07:00 AM
So I have one from today that doesn't involve me directly.

At the medieval fair, one of the things my group does is a king and queen for the day type thing. Basically two kids are selected from the audience, then the people who are fighting are divided in a schoolyard pick by the kids. (Which in itself is hilarious...)

Today the kings message to his warriors was: "the best thing that will let them win is a really high engine."

:roll:

Luckily our commentator was able to hold it in.

AnaKhouri
05-05-2013, 03:29 AM
While my toddler had a bath tonight, we had the following conversation:

Son: "I want to talk about this." >points to crotch<

Me: "Not sure what there is to discuss, but okay. What?"

Son: "What's this?"

Me: "...your penis."

Son: "No, here!"

Me: "Oh. Those are your testicles. They're underneath your penis."

Son: "My testicles...and this is my penis."

Me: "Yes."

Son: "Okay." >goes back to playing<

Me: "Okay."

Mishi
05-05-2013, 11:07 AM
Bubbles is being hilarious tonight, and since I didn't want to overload everyone on FB, I thought I'd share some of them with you all :devil:

*random, in a serious tone* "I even have an ear!"

"I think I need to fall over now."

Bubbles: "Oh noes, smoke!"
Me: "Don't worry darling, that's just condensation."
Bubbles: *runs around in a circle, shouting excitedly* "Daddy! It's consummation, CONSUMMATION!!"

AnaKhouri
05-22-2013, 06:34 PM
Today I got to hear a story about G.I. Joe except it was mostly about Cobra because I think he likes them better. Destro and the Cobra Commander were in it a lot. They sent the Joes a variety of gifts, including a giant cupcake, but hid bombs inside all of them so they would explode and destroy the Joe headquarters, and threw all the Joes in the air so they got stuck in trees. They also had a ghost fly to space (because ghosts don't need to breathe) to find aliens to help Cobra defeat the Joes. Soup Pot, Conrad's all-purpose, all-fandom villain made an appearance and sprayed the Joes with soup and honey mustard so they were all sticky. He also appears to be an explosives expert because he made all the bombs.

There was a lot more but I tuned some of it out because it took him THREE HOURS OF NONSTOP TALKING to tell me the entire thing.

fireheart
05-23-2013, 06:41 AM
:lol: khan the storyteller? :D

AnaKhouri
05-23-2013, 07:49 PM
He has made up stories ever since his brain began to produce coherant thought, but this one was the most epic yet.

I kind of remember a weather control machine in there somewhere too.

42_42_42
05-24-2013, 02:38 AM
AnaKhouri, It's official, I totally love your kid. He is just full of awesome. Y'all are doing a wonderful job of raising a great geek kid!

fireheart
05-24-2013, 06:06 AM
He has made up stories ever since his brain began to produce coherant thought, but this one was the most epic yet.

I kind of remember a weather control machine in there somewhere too.

As long as you're differentiating stories from lies, good on you! We need more storytellers :D

AnaKhouri
05-25-2013, 12:47 AM
We actually have had some problems with that. We keep reiterating that if someone asks him a question, he needs to tell the truth, but he can make up stories all he likes as long as he lets us know they are stories.

Khan at bedtime: "I HATE BED! AND I HATE >pause to think< VAMPIRES!"

Join the club, kid. :lol:

fireheart
05-28-2013, 08:21 AM
This kid was cute the other day.

I was waiting in the doctors office to see the GP (I'd seen the nurse earlier, who wrote up a care plan for me*) and this mum was there with 2 kids. The youngest was about 9-10 months (crawling and pulling him/her self up and walking holding onto something, could stand unsupported but not walk). The kid was more-or-less staying in the general area: crawling around near me and looking at the toys their brother was playing with...

Then the mother's name gets called and the baby decides that now is a good time to make a break for it :lol: he/she went off crawling towards the back room while mum was distracted.

Just the slowness of the baby earlier and the sudden burst of speed it had when their name was called was hilarious :lol:

AnaKhouri
05-29-2013, 07:34 PM
NPR reviews the new Daft Punk album, and plays an excerpt.

Khan: "Mommy, is that robot music?"

Me: "Oh yes, yes it is. Look, I'll show you."

I showed him a video of them performing. He now firmly believes that Daft Punk is two robots.

Parenthood is awesome.

dalesys
05-29-2013, 08:55 PM
I showed him a video of them performing. He now firmly believes that Daft Punk is two robots...
Calvin's dad is a great inspiration...

fireheart
05-29-2013, 11:13 PM
I showed him a video of them performing. He now firmly believes that Daft Punk is two robots.

Parenthood is awesome.

If you show him Tron (the recent one), he might be more inclined to believe that. :lol:

Although if you really want to blow his mind, Gorillaz is a cartoon. :D

AnaKhouri
05-30-2013, 08:47 PM
You guys want to know what Santa does in the off-season?

He works at a hardware store.

Seriously. Today we ran into Lowe's for nuts for my son's training wheels, and our cashier was this huge guy with a white/gray beard. He said, "You don't recognize me, do you?" and whipped a picture out of his apron. It was him, as Santa, with a kid on his lap. It was, in fact, a picture from our little town's annual Christmas party, so this was the same Santa my son saw last year.

For the first time in his short life, my son was speechless. He stared and stared while Santa tried to engage him, asking if he'd been good, etc. Finally, as we were leaving, he turned, pointed and yelled, "You come into people's houses at night when they're asleep!" and booked it for the door.

So I guess this is what my son really takes from the whole Santa thing.

iPanda
05-31-2013, 06:03 AM
One of my kids at work said; "If you're Korean, how come you can speak like us?

I just.

He's only kinder... so... yeah...

fireheart
05-31-2013, 06:23 AM
One of my kids at work said; "If you're Korean, how come you can speak like us?

I just.

He's only kinder... so... yeah...

Methinks someone hasn't spent enough time around migrants or people who are country-born foreigners.

AnaKhouri
05-31-2013, 07:49 PM
Last night we were watching a first-season episode of Fringe where an evil scientist had made a bioweapon he wanted to sell. He was known only by one name, and it happened to be the name of my son.

It's kind of unsettling to hear a bunch of people on TV saying your child's name over and over (and it's not a common name you might hear on TV a lot).

Ree
06-15-2013, 11:39 PM
So, today, my granddaughter was waiting for her father to show up for her weekend visit.

She should have gone last night, but the boy doesn't have his shit together and there were transportation problems.
She should have gone last week, but apparently, he was moving.

Anyway, needless to say, she was very excited about finally seeing Daddy, and this being Father's day weekend, she had made something in school for him, and was in the "gifting" mindset.

I wasn't really paying attention as she drew away on some paper.
She came to me after a while and said, "Look Grandma, I made a book for my Daddy,"
The paper was all folded up, but I saw the outside of it and realized it was her mother's paystub from work.

I said, "It's beautiful, sweetie, but I'm afraid you can't give that to Daddy. You wrote on the back of something that contains some of your Mom's very personal information."

She was a little upset at that.

I tried to photocopy the picture onto another sheet of paper so she could cut it out and use that to make her book for Daddy, but my copier/printer was not cooperating.
I was talking to my daughter, and I told her what happened.

She laughed and said, "You know what, Mom? Give it to him. Then he will see just how little I do make and will know I'm not lying when I tell him I need money for her."

So, off to daddy's the paystub/art book went. LOL :D

AnaKhouri
06-18-2013, 08:03 PM
Library storytime lady: "What kind of things live in the ocean?"

Khan: "MERMAIDS!"

What? I'm not going to tell him any different.

fireheart
06-21-2013, 11:22 AM
This is not mine, but just so hilarious.

The new season of So You Think You Can Dance is on TV at the moment. One of the contestants was a 4-year-old boy who was body popping/breakdancing. Clearly too young for the show despite being absolutely AMAZING in terms of dancing, the funny part was Nigel's conversation with the kid.

Nigel: "Do you know you have to be 18 before you can do anything on this show?"
Kid: "Yeah"
Nigel: "So how old are you?"
Kid: "18" (:roll:)
Nigel: "Are you at college or high school?"
Kid: "Er...high school"
Nigel: "and what are you studying at high school?"
Kid:"EVerything" (:lol:)
Nigel: "Are you married?"
Kid: :eek: "NO!"
Audience: :lol:
Judges: :roll:

ETA: here's a video. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Gp2bUPXH28)

The kid scored a trip to Disneyworld for that. :D

fireheart
07-04-2013, 03:59 AM
Story from one of the mums at uni. She has 3 kids and the oldest has been learning about persuasive writing. One afternoon, the oldest decided that she didn't want to go to swimming lessons anymore. After a brief argument with mum, kid locks herself in the bedroom. About twenty minutes later, kid walks down and thrusts this piece of paper in her mums face.
Turns out that the kid had written this perfect one-page piece of persuasive writing about why she didn't want to go to swimming lessons anymore. The mum was stunned, then started laughing.

Kid got her wish, although mum then had a talk with her about when to NOT use persuasive writing :lol:

AnaKhouri
07-12-2013, 10:19 PM
Khan wanted to say the prayer before dinner tonight.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the food and help us to fight all the naughty guys. Please make the Angry Birds beat the pigs so they can get their eggs back.

Amen.

fireheart
07-13-2013, 10:11 AM
Toddler logic (from a friend's almost 3-year-old kidlet who is currently being toilet-trained):

The toilet is mean. So therefore do not flush the poop because the poop doesn't want to be flushed. :lol:

SongsOfDragons
08-05-2013, 07:56 PM
I've got a lovely kidlet story from today in the supermarket.

A mum and her lovely little daughter - such a cutie, about 3ish, with big round eyes and a face to match - started shopping at about the same time as us, so we kept crossing paths. Mum was talkative and little'un quite bold, pootling around quite well-behaved. She kept doing mildly amusing things like dragging carrier bags along after her and treating choosing the right apple as serious business. :D

So near the end of the aisles she said 'I am not funny!' to me! Oops! Without thinking I said to her 'I'm sorry little one, I don't mean to laugh at you!' (I always talk to kids as adults.) She nodded, then mum said 'Oh I laugh at her all the time...' to which the girl went :p mmmm to mum, and then :p mmmm to me...and I went :p mmmm back... XD I shouldn't encourage her but it was instinctual...and very adorable. :D

I've been in a good mood ever since :D

AnaKhouri
08-05-2013, 11:14 PM
I love little kid mad faces. They look so cute, you have to laugh at them, and then they get madder because you're not taking them seriously, and then you laugh harder, and...

It usually ends in tears.

Khan (who just turned 4) was playing with his uncle. Uncle pretended to rob him.

Khan: "You won't get my money without a fight!"

Dips
08-06-2013, 12:02 PM
My 3-year-old grandson in the park Sunday...

Pointing at a dog, at the top of his lungs, "Look! There's an adorable little pet!"

The owner invited GS to pet the dog.

GS crouched down about 3 feet in front of the dog and looked at him.

Dog looked back at GS.

GS duck waddles a foot closer.

Dog stays still and waits.

The owner finally said it was OK to pet the dog, he wouldn't hurt GS.

GS staaaares at the dog, "But there are teeth in his mouth."

dalesys
08-06-2013, 12:58 PM
GS staaaares at the dog, "But there are teeth in his mouth."
I'll bet Grandma was greatly tempted to use the line from Little Red Riding Hood...

"All the better to ..."

Aethian
08-06-2013, 03:28 PM
My youngest cousin on seeing a BIG dog for the first time "Look it's a dog horse!"

fireheart
08-10-2013, 05:47 AM
I had a cute kid moment at work the other day.

I was supervising the little ones with handwashing. Evidently one of the classes had been performing for their assembly and as such, were dressed up as zombies and monsters. One of the boys had two masks wrapped around his neck. When he came up to wash his hands, he asked me to hold his masks for him while he washed his hands.

Afterwards, he took one of the masks back and told me I could keep the other one. :love:

(to clarify, "Llittle ones" means kids who are in preschool-Year 1. We have a few preschool kids on Thursday afternoons)

fireheart
08-10-2013, 09:51 AM
Oops, just to clarify (since I can't edit my own damn post at the moment -.-), when the kids come in, they drop their bags off, sign in and wash their hands before getting afternoon tea.

One of the other little ones has adopted the nickname of "firecracker." Why? because she will literally be standing there one minute, then bolting off the next giggling for no apparent reason. She's adorable and hilarious.

AnaKhouri
08-22-2013, 12:05 AM
Khan began preschool a couple days ago. I picked him up the first day and the lead teacher told me he got his fingers caught in a door and cried a bit (he's fine). I had to sign an incident report (for pinched fingers?!) and under Treatment Administered they'd written:

Cold Water and TLC

:lol:

fireheart
08-22-2013, 03:23 AM
Khan began preschool a couple days ago. I picked him up the first day and the lead teacher told me he got his fingers caught in a door and cried a bit (he's fine). I had to sign an incident report (for pinched fingers?!) and under Treatment Administered they'd written:

Cold Water and TLC

:lol:


I should do that next incident report I have to fill out :lol:

Those are done more as a CYA measure in case something else goes seriously wrong. (ie kid starts vomiting and we're monitoring them, we fill out an incident report and the kid then starts vomiting up BLOOD :eek: we have a record of what happened)

AnaKhouri
08-22-2013, 09:30 PM
My son: "It would be funny if people had a hinge on their heads and their brains fell out!"

I wonder if I should start warning his preschool teachers when I drop him off...

Aethian
08-22-2013, 11:21 PM
There is a Wizard of the Oz book that has a group of people with flat heads and their brains in cans.

AnaKhouri
08-22-2013, 11:39 PM
I think he got the idea from a Shel Silverstein poem. I wonder if people still read him, I found my old books and decided Khan was old enough to hear it. There's a lot of death and dismemberment and grusome stuff in his work now that I think about it...none of that sanitized bullshit they try to feed kids nowadays.

fireheart
08-23-2013, 12:19 AM
I think he got the idea from a Shel Silverstein poem. I wonder if people still read him, I found my old books and decided Khan was old enough to hear it. There's a lot of death and dismemberment and grusome stuff in his work now that I think about it...none of that sanitized bullshit they try to feed kids nowadays.

What, like old Looney Tunes cartoons? :D

dalesys
08-23-2013, 01:01 AM
... There's a lot of death and dismemberment and gruesome stuff ...
Grimm stories FTW!

dendawg
08-23-2013, 08:38 AM
What, like old Looney Tunes cartoons? :D

I was thinking of Tom & Jerry or Herman & Katnip....Looney Tunes ain't got nothing on either of those series when it comes to violence. :angel:

AnaKhouri
08-26-2013, 09:40 PM
Khan, seeing an avatar on my computer of a rabbit tapping his foot: "What's that rabbit doing?"

Me: "He's angry, I guess."

Khan: "He's angry because he doesn't want a girlfriend."

Me: "...you don't have to have a girlfriend if you don't want one. It's not required or anything."

Grimm stories FTW!

We have a beautiful edition of the original stories, illustrated by Arthur Rackham. We're going to wait another year or so before we read it to him, I think he'll be more accustomed to stories without pictures on every page by then.

fireheart
09-02-2013, 04:26 AM
FB friend's 2-year-old son last night said hello to the moon and the stars, then got annoyed when they didn't say hello back. :lol:


This comes from a friend's 5-year-old daughter. Yesterday (Sep 1st) was Fathers Day in Aussieland.
she went to hug her father and instead of saying "Happy Fathers Day" she instead said "Happy Mothers Day." Oops. :lol:

And finally from my cousin's 4-year-old son, she has recently bought herself a piano and is teaching herself. (Sidenote: her son LOVES playing the drums, we suspect that it's because she let him play with my dad's set at a recent gig)
Comment from her child the other night: Mum if you stop playing music, I'll be able to hear the TV, you need to get off your chair." :roll:

NorthernZel
09-03-2013, 08:04 PM
Today Lil' Zel got me:

LZ: Mom, what is the biggest number in the whole wide world?

Me: I can't tell, sweetie, you can count into infinity...

LZ: Yes! And infinity has a number! Just like this! (draws '∞' with his finger)

Me: Touché, m'lad. Touché. :lol:

Seshat
09-04-2013, 05:15 AM
Me, as a kid.

Mum was cleaning the walls. I was "helping".

"Mummy, does God like clean walls?"

"I don't know, dear. Why don't you ask Him?"

I go outside, shout to the sky, wait a moment, come back in. "He said he does, Mummy."

A little bit later....

"Mummy, does Santa like clean walls?"

"I don't know, dear. Why don't you ask Him?"

I go outside, shout to the sky. Wait a moment...

"NO, NOT YOU GOD! YOU'VE HAD YOUR TURN!"

fireheart
09-10-2013, 09:36 AM
Friend's daughter announced to her "Mummy I want a baby in my tummy. I really do."

Ok kid. (Daughter is 5)

:D

AnaKhouri
09-10-2013, 01:38 PM
Just to freak you out, the youngest girl to give birth in recorded history was 5.

She had a very rare medical condition though that caused her to go through puberty as a toddler. Her son was raised as her brother.

Seshat
09-10-2013, 03:55 PM
What SOB put the kid there, though? :eek:

AnaKhouri
09-10-2013, 04:08 PM
No one ever knew. She was too young to tell them (I understand that, trying to get a straight answer out of my 4-year-old is like trying to lasso a steer with dental floss). I believe her father was suspected but cleared.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lina_Medina

This happened in 1933.

NecessaryCatharsis
09-10-2013, 07:18 PM
My 5 year old
5: can I be anything I want when I grow up
Me: I guess, if you work hard in school you can
5: great, I'm going to work really hard and grow up to be a museum
Me: uhh...I changed my mind, you can't be anything you want when you grow up

AnaKhouri
09-10-2013, 07:58 PM
Right after he started school, Khan told us this girl named Jessica had tried to steal someone's lunch and was reprimanded for it. This apparently happened only once.

The other day I asked the names of some other classmates and he added, "Jessica, the food stealer."

Jeez, poor Jessica. You make one mistake and are vilified for it forever.

boringscreenname
09-12-2013, 02:05 AM
My kids refuse to talk about anything that happens at school with me. The other day my daughter got off the bus and was happily chattering away about something. I asked her what she did at school, and did she have fun. Her response, "I'm not talking to you mommy, I only talk to Daddy." Alrighty then.

Then we had this conversation last night.

Me: "You need to come in here right now."
Daughter"Mommy, stop saying that bad word."
Me: "What bad word did I say?"
Daughter"You!"

fireheart
09-16-2013, 10:34 AM
High school alumni friend-of-mine has a 2-year-old daughter with #2 on the way. (She's recently found out its a boy!)

Tonight she asked her 2-year-old to bring out her pjs so that she could be changed by mum/dad. Next thing they know, she comes out wearing no top and her PJ pants on backwards. So they pull the PJ pants off and apparently in the process of putting her PJ pants on, the nappy had come off somewhere. :lol:

AnaKhouri
09-16-2013, 07:09 PM
Husband (fixing Mom's Kindle): "So your password is 'khan'srealname, with no capitalization?"

Khan: "No Daddy! I DO have capitalization!"

fireheart
09-24-2013, 10:36 AM
A conversation between Alumni Girl and her 2-year-old daughter. She currently has #2 on the way-a boy.


Friend- whos in here?
Child- mummys baby.
Friend- its your baby brother. You're a girl. Mummys a girl. Daddys a boy. And babys a boy.
Child- yeah!
Friend- what do you wanna name the baby?
Child- aj boy!
Friend- haha really??
Child- yeah!! Aj boy!
Friend- ok bubbi. Haha aj boy it is.

:lol:

AnaKhouri
09-24-2013, 02:40 PM
My friend's son wanted to name his baby brother "Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and Friend to Han Solo".

His name is Luke. The dog's name is Indiana.