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Cooper
11-18-2012, 04:40 PM
When all the boats have moved into storage, it's about the time where the guys will be laid off, or at least have a huge cut-back in their hours. Around this time we have a party that's officially called the Christmas Party (though since it was held yesterday, the timing was a bit off.)

Well it got pretty interesting.

The cast of characters was:

Unit 1: Boss P/my father, Accountant S/my mother, Cashier C/me!, and my sister.
Unit 2: Boss J/my uncle, Merchandise Manager T/my aunt, Cashier M and Cashier D, who are my cousins.
Unit 3: Ex-Mechanic and his wife.
Unit 4: Mechanic M and his wife.
Unit 5: Mechanic K and his fiance.
Unit 6: The Mail Lady and her sister. (The Mail Lady was considered part of the team only because along with being a marina, we have a very large online store, and she always manages to fit the 12+ package days into her little car just as well as the 5- package days. She says she has to mark us as her lunch break because of how much time she spends with us joking around.)
Unit 7: Mechanic S.

New New Mechanic was either fired while I was off on my trip, not invited, or didn't show.

We break down into our little groups, mostly based upon where we were on this looong table we were at. Mechanic S leaves first, before most of this stuff goes down.

Mechanic K harasses Mechanic M about his beard. (Mechanic M grows a beard for hunting season which is one step away from a Santa beard really. He hasn't noticed that I tend to greet him and his beard separately.)

Now that the stage is finally set, for the two grand events of the evening.

Mechanic K Fought a Serval

Mechanic K tells us a story about him fighting his parent's cat. No fratching material here please, personally I wish if they'd wanted a wild looking cat, they got a mixed breed like a Bengal, but I'm not judging. So long as it's legal, it's none of my business.

He goes downstairs to find the Serval has cornered the family's Siamese. He runs in, rescues the Siamese, and takes it out of the basement.

He returns downstairs, and his first impulse to deal with an angry Serval is:

A: Try to give it a treat
B: Lock it down there until it calms down
C: Punch it in the face

C!

He punches it in the face, knocking it out in the process, then grabs it and starts carrying it upstairs. It wakes up part-way up the stairs, so he punches it again.

It was not as effective.

Everyone survived the incident with only minor injuries, thankfully.

Me: How well do you two get along now?
MK: Oh, alright. I leave him to his business, and he leaves me to mine.

Mechanic M's Alternate Personality

MM put on glasses and really disgusting fake teeth, and grabbed a broom. He then proceeded to:

* Ride the broom around
* Clean the restaurant (just the room we were in)
* Ride a stuffed bear
* Talk to a waitress in another room, saying things like: "They pay me .50 cents an hour and with dental floss."

Then our waitress came back. He rode the broom past her to where he found it, and put it back.

The Toast

Mechanic K holds up a shot glass, and tells us: (approximately)

MK: I've had the greatest time here. You guys are great bosses, and I'm glad you gave me a chance despite everything.

It was a really sweet moment. Mechanic K had dropped out of high school, and was pretty young still. Technically he wouldn't have been qualified for his job, but he was tried out anyway, and quickly given a raise for how good he proved to be at it.

He isn't the best with words, but he's a quick learner, and managed to pick up how to repair jetskiis in just one season.

That made the following moment all the more funny....

Hypnotizing Mechanic K

Boss P had told Mechanic K he was going to hypnotize him at this party, several weeks ago. Mechanic K was freaking out about it. Boss P told him that if he couldn't do it, he'd buy him a beer.

Now, as Boss P as my father, I learned way ahead of time that the plan was more than what met the eye, which makes sense. Boss P is a pretty intelligent practical joker. It's to the point where if he makes a bet with me, or asks me to do something with no clear motive, I automatically refuse.

Because of this, I brought my camera. I told Mechanic K that it was to "Take pictures of him acting like a chicken."

Boss P put down two plates from home, one in front of him, one in front of Mechanic K.

The waitress brought over two glasses of water, and one went on each plate. Boss P and Mechanic K each picked up a plate, and held it with one hand.

Boss P: Look into my eyes, and do everything I do.

Boss P proceeds to dip his fingers into the water, and then rub those fingers under the plate in a circular motion. Then he puts those two fingers to his forehead, and drags them across his forehead.

He proceeds to do this with both cheeks as well, then says:

Boss P: Well, I guess I couldn't do it Mechanic K. I owe you a twelve pack of beer.
Me: Victory picture of the man who can't be hypnotized?

Mechanic K agrees.

Now I've decided, to keep this as anonymous as possible, not to show you the picture, but I'll let you in on what it looked like.

A young man, with his tongue sticking out, and his fingers in a 'rock on' pose, with six black stripes across his forehead and cheeks.

See, underneath Mechanic K's plate was soot. Boss P had burned the plate with a candle before coming here. The water made the soot stick better.

Mechanic K's Reaction

Mechanic K didn't know until the end of the party, when Boss P told me to show Mechanic K the picture.

MK hugs Boss P.

MK: I love you; you prick.

MK's Fiance: Do you do this to all your new employees?
Me: No, we usually make them drive the boat with inverted controls, but we fixed it.

MK then turns to his fiance. Note that he still has a huge grin on his face, so he's clearly still joking.

MK: And you just left the room for this! I'm gonna punch you in the teeth.
Me: She's the one you're angry with?

I love my job.

rose_metal_nz
11-18-2012, 08:21 PM
Sounds like you guys had a great time! :)

Kazim
11-18-2012, 10:32 PM
sound a bit like a /Roll night with my WoW guild ^^